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People Reveal The Funniest Thing A Stranger Has Ever Said To Them

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The things we hear in an ordinary moment can change the course of our lives. When we pretend we're not listening and we really are.... well that is the most exciting part of a lot days. The conversations from strangers are beyond fascinating, It's like a tangible soap opera. Sadly we have to follow strangers home to know how it ends... which isn't impossible.

Redditor u/Eta5678 wanted all the strangers out there to discuss their encounters.... Reddit, whats the funniest thing that a random stranger said to you that made you die laughing inside?

Sag away....

I was helping a customer pick out a new bra and she said she wanted her breasts to be lifted. She said, "my boobs are so saggy that if my nipples were eyeballs, I'd be able to see if my shoes were untied."

I really tried my best to remain professional but I couldn't stop laughing lol. BurkaBurrito

I'm Listening! 

I was in the drive thru of a Wendy's one time. An employee exited the building with his headphones on and was singing Who Let The Dogs Out at the top of his lungs. He saw me, stopped singing, and started walking away. A few seconds later he come up to my window and said, "yes, that is what I'm listening to." Then he walked away. I laughed so hard at the whole situation. JonoTheDog

To Hell and Back! 

Okay, the laughter was not entirely inside, but years ago on the subway in NY, a crazy dude walks on the train and screams at everyone "You're all going to hell!" and then steps off as the doors close. Total silence as the weirdness of the moment settles in. Then, without missing a beat, guy across from me goes, "I thought this train was going to Harlem." Entire subway car of cynical New Yorkers bursts out laughing. jimcol

I hate socks... 

I must've been about 10 or 11. I sat down on a bench next to an old guy to sort my shoe out. I took my shoe off and he just turns to me and says "are they golfing socks?" I look at him with a completely blank look on my face thinking "wtf??" as I looked away he just said "there's a hole in one." WinningToad

Dollars Away....

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Was leaving Walmart and the 80ish year old greeter says "Thanks for shopping at Dollar Tree!" brookski_lee

I Smell That!

Movie just ended, me and my dad join the mad rush to to the bathrooms, urinals are packed, its our turn we doing our business, suddenly someone rips a hugggge fart, lol its pretty funny but we all have manners, still peeing, suddenly this dude proclaims, "IT WAS MEEEEE" and runs out the door. Whole bathroom erupts in laughter. dodo_gogo

AAYO!

A few years ago I let my friend cut my hair... it did not go well.

I was living in Philadelphia at the time and was walking through South Philly when I passed two strangers in the middle of the conversation. As I pass, one of them says to the other: "Hold up, I gotta talk to this guy." He precedes to shout to me: "Aaayo! Your hair looks like S**T. Come over here."


I was amused, partially because of his bluntness and partially because he wasn't wrong. I was curious, so I walked over to him. He says: "Look, a buddy of mine owns a barber shop two blocks away. Here's his business card--I'll write my name on there, if you mention that I sent you he'll give you a good deal. Bruh, but seriously take care of that s**t."

I never ended up going to his friend's shop, but I frequently use this story as the perfect example of Philly culture: rude, blunt & in your face yet somehow coming from a place of genuine care. Plus, it's hilarious. trustfundbabelfish

Hysteria! 

May of 2000, passing through Norwood Louisiana with a friend, at around 2 in the afternoon we stopped to gas up/grab some snacks at the most podunk gas station known to man.

A young man, extremely agitated comes in with frustrated gestures and angrily shouts/gestures at the cashier with an accent that is beyond region, beyond stereotyping, beyond anything I have heard before:

"Where da' got damned wally-mellyons at!!" at the top of lungs, approaching hysteria and tears. official_fox_news

Beep-Beep! 

A few months ago I was waiting at a road crossing with loads of other strangers, waiting for the man to turn green. This was a busy main road in my city.

A little girl on the other side of the road did THE MOST ACCURATE IMPRESSION of the 'beep beep' that the crossing makes so blind people know it's safe to cross, and the entire crowd of people just stepped into the road. I had seen her do it, so I stayed put, but I couldn't stop laughing. My girlfriend was confused.

50 adults pranked by one absolute genius 6ish year old. It was magical. kingbluetit

Peace First....

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Met a guy while camping a few years ago. He told us, matter of factly, that he was a "Redneck hippie" back in the 60's.. He was "there for the sex and the drugs, but not so much that love and peace stuff." We still crack up about that. PursuitOfMuchness

Yep! 

I work in retail, and I'm not sure why, but this had me dying for a while. I still laugh when I think about it.

Me: "How you doing today, sir?"

Customer: "Yep."

And he went on his way. RiSET0FaLL

Peace Brother! 

Met a guy while camping a few years ago. He told us, matter of factly, that he was a "Redneck hippie" back in the 60's.. He was "there for the sex and the drugs, but not so much that love and peace crap." We still crack up about that. PursuitOfMuchness

WOOF!

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An old man on the street with a big, jack-o-lantern grin on his face and two Chihuahuas under each arm loudly proclaiming to no one in particular, "I used to carry grenades! Now I carry dogs!" NightOnTheSun

Smells like pee...

Worked at a smoke shop that sold electronic cigarettes years ago. A customer came in complaining that the new flavor made her pee smell funny. I couldn't keep a straight face when I said I wasn't sure if that was related. Then she says, "Oh, well it could be an STD or something I guess...Thanks!" and walked out. oppapi666

Off with your leg! 

The time I was waiting for takeout and the amputee owner struck up a convo. "My friend, you have to be really careful if you ever get shot in the knee or any leg bone. They don't warn you that you can't have sex for months. One night you're taking home a beautiful girl to show her your scars and the next morning your leg's gone." walnut100

Flames! On the side of my face!

Giphy

When i was about 8 yrs old (40 some odd yrs ago) my mother and i were waiting to be seated at a restaurant, and an older gentleman was ahead of us also waiting. The waitress asked him if he'd be smoking (back when that was still a thing in restaurants), and he replied "no, but i may burst into flames later." Young me laughed all through lunch at that, in fact it still makes me giggle lol. SweetBabyJesus99

Help the blind....

Giphy

Something I overheard as two kids walked past our caravan park site: A rumbling boom of distant thunder.

Kid 1: "I like thunder. It sounds like a 200 year old dog who's retired and helps old people who are blind to get around."

Kid 2: (silence)

Kid 1: "You know?"

Kid 2: "But why is it retired?"

Kid 1: "Because it's old."

Kid 2: "But it's still helping blind people."

Kid 1: (silence) actualchad

Hot Pants! 

When I was a freshmen in college I had a pair of rainbow bellbottoms I made and wore a lot. I walking through the city back to the dorms when a guy rode up behind me on a bicycle. He was old, had long, scraggly gray hair and a bright red and yellow windsuit on. He rode beside me for a second, stared and then yelled "Miss your pants are hot....HWAAAAT" and the rode away into the sunset. It was so random and hilarious. Every time I wore those pants my friends would run up behind me and yell "Your pants are HWAT" -StarrySky-

Damn Crabs....

No so much said to me as overheard. Walking down the street with my fianceè after dinner, a man and woman pass us. Very clearly I heard the man say:

"... and that's the second time I got crabs. I just keep a special little comb at the house now, just in case."

I'm not sure of any particulars and have thought about that interaction often. So many questions, I know they heard me laugh though. kbig22432

Suck it Down!

Giphy

I used to be a smoker. One time a scruffy looking man asked me for a light. I told him I only had matches. (It was very windy) He said, "that's ok, there's a trick to it. You light the match and then suck down real hard. You get a mouth full of sulfur that way, but you gotta have a trick when you're going thirty miles an hour on top of a tank." emken23

REDDIT

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911 Operators Describe The Most Unnerving Calls They've Ever Received

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*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.

The person on the other end of a 911 call has a truly remarkable job.

For those who don't play that professional role, we hope to never encounter the 911 call interaction. But if we do find ourselves making that call, the moment is an anomaly in our lives.

The chaos, the panic, the racing heart, and the desperation are all emotions we, ideally, don't experience on a regular basis.

But for the operator on the other end, our call is one in a long line of calls they've received all day, and all the workdays before that one.

It's difficult to imagine being embedded in those uniquely urgent, emergency moments all the time.

Some Redditors who are on the other end of that call shared their experiences on the job.

WhimsicalxxButcher asked, "911 dispatchers what has been your most creepy/unnerving call?"

For a few, the most unnerving moments were the calm callers.

There was something just so eerie about how level-headed the faceless human being on the other end could be through such a desperate, tragic moment.

Almost Clinical 

"I had a friend who worked as a 911 dispatcher and he always said the worst call he ever had was a ~20 year old kid who committed suicide by mixing a bunch of chemicals together in his car to produce hydrogen sulfide gas."

"He said that the most unnerving part was hearing him calmly listing off the chemicals, the type of gas produced, and the effects of hydrogen sulfide on the body (namely the almost instant death it causes at high concentrations)."

"He ended the call by providing the address of the parking lot he was in and saying that nobody should approach the vehicle without hazmat equipment."

"Apparently after that there was a whooshing sound as he dumped the last chemical into the mix, and then the line went dead silent aside for a quiet fizzing noise."

"I know that call screwed him up because he almost never talks about stuff that happens to him on the job. He quit a few months later to go into construction management, and frankly I can't blame him."

-- iunoyou

Planned Out 

"A woman called me, saying she was going to kill herself. She was gassing herself. Gave me her name & address then said she was just going to lie down and 'go to sleep.' And stopped responding to me."

"I kept the line open, trying to get her to speak to me, and eventually heard officers forcing their way in to find her body. I guess she just wanted someone to find her body."

-- mozgw4

Before It Set In 

"When I got a call from a 6 year old who got home from school and laid down to take a nap with his dad. His dad never woke up."

"The kid was so calm when calling it broke my heart."

"I ended up leaving dispatch shortly after. I was good at compartmentalizing the job for the year I was doing it, but it would've broken me in the long run."

-- tasha7712

Other 911 operators were unfortunate enough to receive a call from the very last person they wanted to hear from: a loved one.

These dispatchers' unique position gave them the unexpected access to a family member or friend at their most dire moments.

No More of That 

"My family member is a long time first responder, and 'retired' into doing dispatch. He heard the address (someone else was taking the call) and realized it was his daughter's house."

"He rushed over there just in time to see them wheeling her body out. Overdose."

"Five months later, he was called to his ex-wife's place because his grandson (son of the daughter who recently passed) had his door locked, lights on, but wasn't responding to his grandma."

"He broke the door down and found him deceased in bed. Overdose."

"He's very stoic after years of all sorts of traumatic situations but my heart hurts whenever I think of what all of this must have felt like. Like sand through your fingers."

-- bitchyhouseplant

Knowing the Address

"Not me, but my grandma. I was sitting in the dispatch office, (very small one only 2 dispatchers including my grandma) but she put out a dispatch that there was a gun shot from my best friends address."

"My heart sank to my stomach and broke later that day. He committed suicide."

-- OntaiSenpuu

When it Happened 

"My uncle passing away. Worked as a small town dispatcher for a year or so. Had a bunch of messed up stuff happen on shift, but this call came in in the still hours of the night. Small town, so not many calls after midnight."

"I answered and recognized the name and address on caller id. Aunt was in a frenzy so didn't recognize my voice. I remained calm and got ems and fire rolling to them, but by my aunt's own words he was already blue."

"I went thru debriefing and mandated therapy for a couple other things that happened, but never really talked to anyone about this. I just try not to think about it."

"That was the call I figured out I needed to find a different job."

-- dangitjon

Finally, some simply had a front row seat to sudden tragedy.

These operators were flies on the wall when disaster struck. They never asked to witness what they witnessed, but sometimes that came with the territory.

A Holiday Tragedy 

"My mom is a 911 dispatcher. Early on she said one Christmas Eve while working she got a call from an elderly lady who's husband had just collapsed(and died) from a heart attack and in the background Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas music was playing on blast."

"The lady was screaming and crying and begging for her husband to wake up but my mom could hear his gurgling in his last breathes. She doesn't listen to or watch Alvin and the chipmunks since."

-- Blueflowerbluehair

What is it About Christmas?

"Christmas night. 911 call with crying child on the other end. A neighbor had run her car over her mom during a domestic."

"The mom crawled to the porch bleeding and the child saw the car coming back. I had her hide quietly in a closet with the cordless phone."

"The 10 year old child was crying and screamed that she hated Christmas. She was afraid of the police when they got there."

"I kept her on the phone until she felt safe enough to give the phone to an officer. I almost fainted after that call was over. Had nightmares for a while."

-- 2FunBoofer

Close to Home 

"Not a dispatcher but I handle radio communications for the Coast Guard. One night I was on the radio and got a call from an 11 year old kid whose boat had started to sink. He was out with his dad and 6 year old brother."

"They had been hit by another boat and his father got knocked unconscious. I remember the entire conversation up until the radio had gone underwater."

"They ended up finding his dad floating on his back alive but the two boys didn't make it. That one really fu**ed with me because my two littlest brothers were around the same age as the youngest."

-- HIRSH2243

A Horrible Clock 

"Another one that stays with me was the man who called in. It was the anniversary of his adult son having hanged himself. He'd now come home to find his wife had done the same."

"That date is always going to be a black day for him."

-- mozgw4


If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

Again, we hope you never have to use the 911 call in your life. Nobody wants to be involved in a sudden emergency or a tragic incident.

But hopefully, if you do, an operator like one of these thoughtful, sensitive Redditors is on the other end.

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