There are so many things to do and accomplish before we leave this earthly plane.
And so many people have compiled that infamous bucket list.
Now I hear people are putting together an "R rated" version of that list.
Besides travel and money, everyone wants to dabble in sex and crazy.
Let's read on...
Redditor Yankees727 wanted to discuss all the dreams we have compiled before we kick the bucket, including the "forbidden" stuff. They asked:
"What is on your NSFW bucket list?
"WARNING!!! THIS IS AN OVER 17 READ!!"
I've done most of my list. (I had my twenties in NYC.. so...) You'll have to wait for the memoir.
Double Dare
I Dare You Cbs GIF by Paramount+
Giphy
"Telling a rude customer 'f**k me yourself, you coward!'"
mynameisnotpedro
"Feels like the start of a fanfiction of sorts."
memin_being33
Certification
"Operating a forklift (I’m not certified)."
linneaskylar
"Not certified either but I've done it, remember to keep the actual fork bit as low to the ground as possible to avoid stabbing something or someone."
YaskyJr
"I crashed a forklift into 3 delivery trucks after I forgot to put the emergency brake on and it rolled down a ramp. Didn’t get fired because I wasn’t certified and my boss told me to drive it anyways."
SamSparkSLD
Routines...
"My wife and I create a yearly bucket list of sex stuff. It's usually made at the end of December, sometimes on NYE after the kids gone to bed. It's not all stuff we've never done. In fact I would argue that most stuff is pretty vanilla in 2022. It's just stuff that aren't a part of our normal sex routine that we want to make sure gets included occasionally."
"But it does allow for the opportunity to have a conversation about stuff we've never tried before. It also gives us something to refer to when we're planning something special for the other."
tenzinashoka
Frisky
"Have sex in the woods."
Lus_
"I did it. Was hiking with an ex. She was wearing some really short shorts showing the bottom of her butt. Teasing each other became too much and we ducked behind a big tree to get frisky. Heard some other hikers walk past us but never felt like they’d see us. Was a thrill."
jacoblb6173
Peace Out
Angela Bassett Burn GIF
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"On my last day of work (3 years, 10 months and 7 days from today if all goes well) I will pour myself a whiskey at my desk and enjoy it until someone calls me out. Then I'll continue enjoying it as I walk out of the office."
tubewatch
Oh that is the way to leave a job. One day... but not this job. :)
Nervous
Olivia Benson Wow GIF by Law & Order
Giphy
"Bondage. I want to try it, but I'm too scared. But the idea sounds fun."
SinkFormal1874
In the Air
"I call it a 'f**ket list'and I want to have sex while skydiving This is something I’d LIKE to do, not something I’m actually GOING to do, it’s illegal, it’s just a fantasy, please stop hitting me up with logistics, I don’t care!"
Cheekygirl97
I’m intrigued as to what about this is appealing to you. I can’t imagine jumping out of a freaking plane naked and going through the hell that would be figuring out how to do it while you’re falling at ridiculous speeds. But I also don’t want to skydive ever in my life, so perhaps I’m biased, haha."
recreationallyused
Be Free
"A lot, most of which isn’t too interesting. But the one big one have a mutual free-use day/weekend."
TheNatanist
"My partner and I would be able to do anything to each other that we wanted (with a few hard limits discussed ahead of time) with no need to ask first. So she could make me do whatever she wanted and do whatever to me, and vice versa (obviously we’d have a safe word if there was something we did not want to do)."
TheNatanist
Look at Me!
"Get caught doing it at a party or gathering with friends and just continue having sex while the person watches."
Short_Round777
"This is similar to mine, but I rather just be having sex in the same room as others. I don’t want to be the center of attention and I don’t want anyone trying anything with me or my partner, but just being in the same room and knowing that another couple is having fun as well."
Spartan2842
Knockout
Punch Hit GIF by The X Factor
Giphy
"Give my manager an uppercut before I quit the job. That's definitely not-safe-for-work."
TheScarletSho
Under the Lights
"Sex under the northern lights."
Xurielishere
"I live at the polar circle and I think this would be extremely overrated unless you got a room with a glass roof and no light pollution. Otherwise you'd have to do it outside in the cold."
skankhunt25
"I'm moving to Alaska in a few months! I don't think it will take much to convince my wife of this. She's super excited about seeing the northern lights."
rhymes_with_snoop
Natural
"Doing it in a forest in summer. The thrill sounds fun."
MisterXnumberidk
"My girlfriend and I did this last year and, well, just don’t do it. I didn’t count how many mosquito bites I had, but my lower half was raw and NOT in the way you’d want it to be."
mulhollandbyproxy
"I lost my virginity this way. my advice is being bug spray and wipes. it feels good though. primal and natural and animalistic. it’s arguably the most natural way to do it."
YellowSequel
Domination
"I really want to be submissive to a guy for once after acting tough out there."
snottycauliflowers19
"You might be surprised how common this one is. For a lot of subs, getting dommed is about just giving up power and responsibility and feeling totally free. It's really common for people who feel like they have to be responsible and dependable all the time, because it's the only time they feel like they are truly free."
"A friend of mine went through severe parentification as a child (being made to act like a parent for younger kids because real parents can't or won't). It's a bad thing, leaves kids to grow up feeling a constant sense of worry and guilt because they're not doing enough. When she discovered subbing it was like some kind of miracle for her. For literally the first time in her life, she wasn't responsible for anything - she handed over all her power to someone else, and she was free."
"I imagine for a lot of men, this would be really enticing, with all the pressure mainstream society puts on men to always be strong and responsible. I hope you find what you're looking for. Remember, it's healthy and normal and not at all weird, and it's good that you've recognised it's something you want."
MCDexX
Pizza Hut?
Music Video Hair GIF by Little Mix
Giphy
"I kind of want to be in a porno movie as the pizza delivery guy."
writenmispeluge
Shock Value
"Run an extension cord across a pool to power a cement cutter and use it without goggles."
ChrisPChip222
"I've done this, like most nsfw bucket list items, it's not nearly as exciting as it was in your dreams."
starkiller_bass
"I run cords through pools sometimes. Never popped breaker so far. It's sketchy though I guess."
squatwaddle
After Work
"Quitting my job and retire worry free."
sh1be
"Being worry free is nearly impossible. Your worries just change."
Frankeex
"Oh gawd. That's just some good old fashioned post orgasmic torture now."
Fluttershine
Travel Sex
"Discrete sex on a long-distance train or bus ride. Skirt, no panties, on him. Make him keep me quiet."
RustyFlirt5714
"I've always wanted to get a room on a train. I check every few years to see if the prices on Amtrak are still absurdly high and the rooms are still crappy, so far it's been a yes on both for decades. Gotta leave the country for a decent bang train."
ASeriousAccounting
Party Time
"Get caught doing it at a party or gathering with friends and just continue having sex while the person watches."
Short_Round777
"This is similar to mine, but I rather just be having sex in the same room as others. I don’t want to be the center of attention and I don’t want anyone trying anything with me or my partner, but just being in the same room and knowing that another couple is having fun as well."
Spartan2842
the centerpiece...
Cool Down Season 2 GIF by Friends
Giphy
"I have several, but one of the more interesting is to be the bound centerpiece of a sex party, free use. Never gonna do it, but the fantasy is scorching hot."
hueloovoo
“moved in”
"My ex completed one that I didn’t know I needed. Parents went out of town for the week so she 'moved in' with me. When i came back from work I totally forgot my ex was still at my house and I opened the door, she was completely naked with a leash around her neck and on her knees, with one hand and unbuttoning my pants with the other. I couldn’t even close the door and not one word was spoken."
Barcelona10CG
Y'all are sassy. Things are getting hot in here.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
Giphy
Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
Giphy
See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
Giphy
Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
Giphy
Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
Giphy
The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
tsunami GIF
Giphy
"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
Scared The Launch GIF by CTV
Giphy
"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN
Giphy
"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.