It's pretty easy for one to be fired. However, there are times when I've been saddled with co-workers where the firing seemed to drag on forever. No matter how it happens, I always enjoy an exit with drama. If you gotta go, you might as well leave a lasting impression.
I've been dumbfounded by the ways I've seen people fired. For instance, if you're going to steal, try not to do it directly in front of cameras. And if you're going to show up drunk, take a breath mint first. But if you do get fired, please make it entertaining. Unless of course it's sad and a proper situation. But nobody gets fired in record time for sad reasons.
Redditor u/njaana wanted to hear about the staff members who left an impression on their way out the door, by asking:
What is the fastest you have ever seen a new co-worker get fired?
I remember a bartender I worked with who got fired for a really crappy reason, like one customer complaint. Honestly the higher ups were not thrilled with him. When they told hm, honey... he threw a small table. BRILLIANT!!
Dimestoys r us 90s GIFGiphy
"When I worked at Babies 'R Us many years ago, a fine young lad wrote on the break room white board, "Forget you witches, hire dimes." For some reason it escaped him that there are cameras pretty much everywhere. Done after maybe three days on the job."
"Many years ago we hired a line cook that had a decent amount of experience. He started on steak night. First steak, undercooked. Refire, undercooked. Third try, undercooked, Fourth try, cow was still mooing when it came off the grill. FOH manager goes to head chef, tells him to kick him off the line, so he does. His new job was to replace me on the sauté station."
"First order he gets is for a side of asparagus, so he puts the asparagus into the hot pan, and adds enough oil to deep fry them. Well, he goes to turn them, oil escapes, hits the fire, and started a fire. He went to grab water, and if not for my head chef stealing the cup, we might have had a bigger fire. Just like that, gone. Turns out all his previous jobs were not real places, but his supervisors were just friends who lied. Total time of employment: three hours."
Out by 11...
"I was intern at a startup out of college along with three other interns. One guy was set up at a computer kinda out of the way and apparently that was the greenlight he needed to look up some porn. Anyone who's ever been an intern will tell you that someone is usually coming over to ask you for something or if you need help and sure enough, the dude was caught looking at porn by our boss. He was walked out around 11 AM so he managed a solid two hours of porno before getting caught."
"New guy, hired as quality control inspector after a lot of vetting. Job site was aluminum extrusions factory - lots of hot, sharp, and heavy things that can crush your hands and slice you up, not to mention all the moving parts. Shows up first day on the job reeking of beer. "I was just celebrating my new job with my friends before work!" Refused the booze blow test at a nearby hospital. Paperwork completed and fired after 90 minutes by the supervisor and HR."
Ruderude kim kardashian GIF by RealityTVGIFsGiphy
"It was a family owned business and she said something insensitive about the owner's recently deceased daughter."
Yeah, you have to be careful who you're talking smack around. That is lesson number one, especially if you're not solid in the lay of the land. And restaurants are always on a rolling employment. Let's continue.
CrazyAngry Stanley Kubrick GIFGiphy
"It was his second week. The guy came to work drunk af, picked the emergency axe and trashed the place with it. He got instantly fired and processed in court shortly after."
"I worked in maintenance at a beach resort. One of the housekeepers managed to get her delinquent son a job as a "runner"... someone who would collect the dirty laundry after the housekeepers stripped the beds. She was actually worried when he started working because I guess he had a bad track record with other jobs. About three days after he started working, his mother confronted him about his new expensive-looking athletic shoes and a gold chain around his neck."
"He just shot back something about having a job now which didn't make sense because he hadn't even been paid yet. Anyway, about the same time there were a couple of reports at the front desk by guests who were missing large sums of money. A police report was made and people were questioned. So after only about four days this kid was fired and went to jail for stealing from guest rooms."
Out the Door...
"New person joins company. On her first morning she wrote an email to her manager how grateful she was to be with the company, how she looked forward to working for us, and on and on. She also wrote an email to her friend about how she'd got a cushy gig and would scam them for as much training as possible for the first couple of months and then leave. Apart from the general lack of wisdom of saying this on the company email system, when writing such contradictory emails it is vitally important to put the right addressee on the right email. Walked out the door after 2.5 hrs."
At Baggage Claim
"We had a guy start in London on a Monday as large contingent left for a a conference in Seattle later that week. I met him at Heathrow with his badge and laptop on his first morning and boarded the flight with him. Longish story, but he ended up slapping a member of the flight crew because she wouldn't let him sit in business class. I called HR when we landed and fired him in baggage claim. We paid for him to fly back to the UK next day."
Awkward...Jesse Pinkman Reaction GIF by Breaking BadGiphy
Sex the bosses daughters - yes daughters - the night he was hired. The real twist is that one of those daughters is now his wife and his former boss, his mother in law. So I guess he got the last laugh, and a lot of awkward family dinners."
"You mean don't do this?"
"I used to train new hires at a warehouse. We have a floor for robots to zoom around on, full of merchandise and cold spite. Only certified technicians may set foot on that floor. The rest of us? Instant termination if we do it. We stress this frequently throughout orientation."
"I'm training a group of new hires at a work station. It's their first night. Not even lunch yet. One of our managers comes over to introduce himself. One guy, who has already been copping an attitude, asks him about stepping on the floor. Manager reiterates what we all told everyone: Do it, and you're fired."
"Guy: "You mean don't do this?" (puts one foot on the floor)"
"And away he goes. I heard the rest of the new trainees laughing over how stupid he was. He was even whining about it the whole time his termination was being processed. I'm just glad I didn't get stuck training that snotty, dimwitted little pain in the ass for two days."
Call Center Crazy
"A number of years back I worked at an inbound call center that also had an upsell side to it. A new guy fresh out of training was bragging about how he did over 10 x the monthly goal in his first week alone. Didn't see him the following week and heard he was laid off because he was upgrading everyone's plans who called in to the highest costing plan without their consent or informing them. About a week or two later I got a text from him asking if I could be his reference for a new call center job he got. He somehow got a hold of a bunch of our numbers and just spammed everyone asking for a reference."
"Hired my roommate to work at a gas station I was assistant manager for. Shows up 2 hours late to replace me, and I could have gotten drunk from his breath. He went out after his construction job and got bliiiiitzed. Was mad at me for firing him. 16 hour shift that day and he treated me like trash till we moved. Is zero minutes a duration? LOL"
How Fluid...True Stories Omg GIFGiphy
"I saw this guy in interview with our boss, he was hired for 3 minutes then he peed in his desk for no reason."
"Our CEO rarely sent all-company messages unless there was great news or some major event/holiday/emergency etc. One day he sends an email reminding everyone something about an extra day off everyone earned hitting a major deadline and how and when to use it."
"New woman in accounting - looked like a nice 50 something Dallas church lady, hits the reply-all and writes "I suppose we all should bow down to Mr. Generosity for the measly day off." Meanwhile she never worked on the project or was affected by long hours."
"When she realized what she did, the other finance people in her area heard a gasp come from her desk and without saying a word to anyone, she picked up her purse, took a box, added her personal items, and walked out the door to her car never to be seen again."
Talk to the Hand
"15 minutes. Working at the wharfs where we had to unload shipping containers with forklifts; new bloke starts work who claims to be a wiz at operating forklifts. First container and he drives in too fast while another worker is opening the container door. I'm not the foreman but I have a go at him about him and tell him to pull his head in. He walks off the job muttering under his breath 'Nobody talks to me like that'."
Like a Zombie
"Call centre worker, new beginner came in hungover as crap on the 1st day of the job. Within 2 hours of their shift, they struggled to look at a computer for more than 10 minutes, couldn't form a coherent sentence, walked away from the desk without a word only to just full on faceplant in the floor of the office. I'm sure the actual termination took longer, but it was obvious they lost their job the moment they walked in like a zombie."
"this job isn't for me"
"I worked at a bill collection firm in the early 90's (don't judge me). A guy started working there, went through the 2 days of training , then started working. After about an hour, he got up and left. Didn't say "I quit." Didn't say "this job isn't for me." Didn't say "forget you." He just got up to go to the bathroom, went through the front door and drove away. It took the managers a few hours to figure out that this guy got the job with a fake name, and erased his own debt on the computer."
You're Out!I Got This Credit GIF by HustlersGiphy
"Briefly worked as a doorman at a strip club. Had to eject two brand new strippers for lifting wallets from the punters."
"Guy drove a forklift into a fire hydrant, in front of a safety rep for the company. His supervisor was called over, and he immediately tells the supervisor that he won't pass a pee test, as he used his only bottle of clean pee earlier that day when he hired in. Everybody standing there immediately burst into laughter, which continued as security (also laughing) escorted him off site. Even the supervisor was all smiles... just gave him a pat on the back and wished him the best of luck. It was wild."
Oh my. People really are something else. This should be a reality show, crazy people getting fired. Now that is a mess I'd watch.
There is a reason why the TV show Law & Order has endured for 20 seasons and has spawned various spin-offs. People love court drama.
"Lawyers of Reddit, what is the most f'ked up case that you have fought or seen?"The court room is now open. Brace yourselves
Some people should never be parents.
"A woman was alone with her baby after her husband got deployed. This was not long after the baby was born. Then the baby passed away, and the body had some strange bruising. The mother insisted the baby crawled out of her sight and fell down the stairs. The case ultimately got reassigned from our office, and the mother was pissed. She told the primary lawyer on the case that she had indeed killed the baby. She basically bragged about it, and she had zero remorse at all. Seeing the infant's autopsy photos was absolutely horrific."
"Dependency case where a single father dipped his toddler in boiling water because he was crying about some silly toddler thing. Kid was severely burned over his whole body. They were trying to re-unify them."
"Worse I've heard was a divorce case where both parties fought to NOT have the kids stay with them. It's so depressive to think about the children in that case."
Punishing A Teen
"IANAL, I work for one."
"We represented a family who tried to ruin a teenage boy's life. They fabricated police reports, falsely claimed he stole expensive electronics from them, and took their claims to the very uninterested school the boy attended. When cops tried to investigate, the family evaded the investigator and lied to him."
"Why do all this? The family's son was crushing on a girl they were hosting in their home. She chose to date the boy in question over the son. All three kids were classmates."
"The boy got a hefty settlement from the family. This case was outside our typical areas of practice, but they came from a friend of the attorney."
These clients were innocent of their wild allegations.
Insult To Injury
"Represented a painter getting sued on a construction defect job. The painter was hired to paint building 2 and 3. He showed up for work, performed the work, and on his way home got into a terrible car accident leaving him paralyzed from the neck down."
"He was sued several years later for water intrusion defects related to buildings 7-9 (Which he didn't work on). Felt terrible for the guy."
"Client insisted on suing an employee who failed to show up to work which caused a contract to be cancelled."
"The employee didn't show up to work because he died."
Prank Gone Wrong
"Case told to me by another lawyer on one of my cases: two guys decided to give a marijuana laced brownie to their co-worker without telling him it marijuana in it... right before he started his shift... as a crane operator. It went predictably badly, resulted in an accident and even their union agreed the guys should be fired."
These cases involved criminals who have done unspeakable acts of horror.
The Lying Inmate
"In a pro bono program, I was assigned to handle the request of an inmate to be released after serving 2/3rd of his sentence. When I read his file, I discovered that he was convicted for kidnapping a woman, tying her to the right front wheel of his jeep and torturing her to death with some sort of home made flamethrower. When I went to see the guy, he denied everything, and told me he was appealing the verdict (which legally was not possible anymore)."
"It was really weird sitting in a room with this guy, knowing what he was convicted of, and knowing that he'd been denying the conviction for almost 20 years."
"Needless to say, his request to be released early was denied."
"Edit: People have been asking questions about the sentence he got. He got life in prison, which makes you eligible for early release after ten years (first offence) or 14 years (recidive) in Belgium. The death penalty was abolished in 1996."
People Share Their Best 'Whoa, It Worked' Moments | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"A sociopath in a psych ward making suicide pacts with vulnerable people and never following through. Charged with murder, determined he was too out of his mind to be accountable. Gonna be in an asylum for the next two decades unless something major changes within the case."
"Not a lawyer, but used to work in a law firm. One attorney told me about a case he was trying where the defendant was up for animal abuse charges."
"What did he do? Well, he and his wife were going through a nasty divorce and he had moved out and started living with a friend. One weekend, he knew his wife and kids were away, so he got hammered and decided to go f'k up the house. This dude totally trashed it. But the worst part, he took his kids new kitten and placed it in the microwave & turned it on. He left it there for them to find."
"F'king disgusting psycho."
We could use a bit of levity.
The following will provide just that. Not all cases are gloom and doom.
"I'm here to provide comedic relief!"
"My buddy is an attorney and was working on a case against some company that was dumping pollution in a large, local body of water that had a direct opening to the ocean."
"He gets a letter from an incredibly concerned local dude. He wrote this LONG LETTER begging my buddy's team to do all they can to win the case against the polluting company for the sake of the... mermaids that were living in that local body of water."
"He had seen them often guys. He had been trying to befriend them for quite a while now and was concerned for their well-being and for the possibility that they would move out to the ocean to find a cleaner home if the company kept dumping pollution into their area. I wish I could find that pic of part of the letter."
"In case you are as concerned as he was, fear not! My buddy's team won the case and that company is no longer dumping their waste in that body of water"
"My uncle lawyer helped a relative with a traffic ticket. Relative was conspiracy nut and wanted to take it to court to 'reveal the lies.' Uncle just paid the fine and told her she won."
Wayward Ice Cream Particle
"Not really f*cked up, but amusing: my dad won a case against Baskin Robins 30 years ago, because his client chipped her tooth on a pistachio shell while eating pistachio ice cream. No warning label. I don't remember the settlement amount, but it was hefty."
While most TV courtroom dramas are fiction, they can be inspired by actual events.
Certain episodes from programs like How To Get Away With Murder, The Good Wife, and all the Law & Order shows can pull from real-life news headlines and be overly dramatized for our entertainment.
However, it is very unfortunate that some of the most horrendous acts carried out by human beings in the real world are not a manifestation of a writer's imagination.
One major life lesson we all really need to adhere to is... pay attention to every keystroke when searching Google.
That is especially true if you're searching in public because that can be an awkward situation.
Pornography seems to just pop up everywhere, whether you like it or not.
I never knew how many basic and pure words and catchphrases could be linked to tawdry filth.
Redditor u/Thatitchypart wanted to discuss the times we've accidentally clicked a few too many keys on Google that led to some "shocking" places, by asking:
Dear redditors, what innocent search on Google turn out to be porn?
***BEWARE! THIS IS AN NC-17 THREAD!***
Of course that's how threads like this are always found, with a warning.
I have gotten myself into a few sticky situations because of random searches. It's especially problematic now that I've figured out how to connect my devices to Bluetooth.
Damn Clintonchristine ouzounian house GIFGiphy
"Back in the day, whitehouse.com was a porn site. If you wanted to get to the real white house site, you had to type in .gov."
"one jacked Grandpa"
"I was joking with one of my friends over text. His birthday was coming up, and he had also been working out more. I mentioned he was going to be "one jacked Grandpa" or something along those lines. I went to go search the internet to find a picture to send with my comment annnndddd... Yeah."
"I was in computer class as a sophomore in high school in 2002 when the movie xXx with vin diesel came out… I was innocently googling "xxx."
"I have a memory of me and my friends talking about the xXx movie with Vin Diesel in the back of my parents mini van. My parents were flabbergasted and started yelling at us for watch a triple x movie. We were confused (and innocent I guess) not knowing why they were mad, and they started laughing once we explained the plot of the movie and that it was only PG-13."
"Wanted to know if Godzilla was male or female. "Godzilla sex" was not the smartest thing to type in but surprisingly exists!"
Pokey XDetective Pikachu Reaction GIFGiphy
"Well when Pokemon x and y came out, some issues happened when kids went on Google and typed 'pokemon x videos' without specifying what exactly they were looking for."
That's why I don't play Pokemon. It's a trap. And don't get me started on Godzilla. Everything is so random, isn't it?
KFC OnlyHappy Fried Chicken GIFGiphy
"I searched for a type of fried chicken and ended up with a hentai… I was surprised."
"In mathematics, there is a typesetting programming called "LaTeX" which specializes in math symbols. Then there is another program called "GIMP" which stands for GNU Image Manipulation Program. Anyway, I was working on something and at one point I googled "latex and gimp." It turns out that those results did not help me with typesetting math."
"Oh man, I have a story for this one. When I was about 5 or 6 years old, I had a neighbor who would routinely challenge me to super soaker fights. As I didn't have one of my own, he'd always let me borrow one. When my birthday was coming up, I guess he decided it would be cool to find a super soaker for me as a gift and get his parents to buy it. He decided it was time to do some research, and googled "super soakers", clicking on the first link that popped up."
"Keep in mind this was the early 2000's, and SafeSearch options didn't really exist yet. Lo and behold, this poor child opened a porn website dedicated to photos and videos not of supersoakers mind you. He immediately screamed, and tried to exit out. As it was the early 2000's, the computer didn't exactly have very much processing power, and decided it was a good time to freeze up."
So, here's a little kid who has been traumatized by pornographic images that are now frozen on to his computer. What's worse, his parents weren't home at the time. In a panic, he ran over to my house and asked my mom for help. In tears, he explained to her exactly what happened."
"My mom had to call his parents and explain, though it was hard for her to get all the info out between her laughter. She still laughs about the story to this day. Neighbor searched "super soakers," ended up with a frozen image of porn burned into his computer screen."
"My wife is a science teacher and was doing a unit on rock properties. She searched for rock color, rock hardness and a few others, but when it came to "cleavage" she didn't think that there was any kind besides rock, so she just searched cleavage."
"Discovering the term in the science book was uproariously funny for the whole class because my female teacher had some impressive cleavage of her own and the "not this kind" while indicating herself tickled all the hormonal funny bones in the class."
GiftsRihanna No GIFGiphy
"I had seen a cute video of a little girl getting a new toy as a gift and getting really excited and dancing for it. It was adorable, and I wanted to find it again to show my boyfriend. So I typed in "girl gets a new toy."
There is no safe place on the web. So we are our only hope to stay innocent until or eyes are tainted. Beware the rabbit holes kids.
When I think of the term "Truth or Dare" I think of the revolutionary documentary from Madonna.
The game itself I rarely ever think about because it's been easily two decades since I last played. I also hate that game; that game and spin the bottle.
I always had to kiss the wrong person. I'm also not getting naked in a group without a payoff of some kind. And if I wanted you to know my deepest secrets I would just tell you.
I'm not going to be pressured into it. But I'm sure that plenty of people have had a few sassy night of fun thanks to being... daring. That and tequila shots.
Redditor u/janneke137 wanted to hear about the gambles we've all taken when playing a simple game with friends, by asking:
How far did you go in a game of truth or dare?
Maybe I should get a group together and try again. Now that we're older and more creative we won't be sex obsessed. To heck with kissing, let's jump off a plane or something.
Lead MenuBored Julia Louis Dreyfus GIFGiphy
"Ate a pencil."
In the Box
"I peed in the litter box in our basement. My mom thought the cat had a serious issue because it filled the whole box. My brother ratted on me, and my mom played the crap out of me by saying she was going to have to put the cat down because of a bladder issue. I cried and told her the truth."
When I was like 13 my friend dared me to show my penis to his mom. She was just making lunch in the kitchen and I went for it. Her immediate reaction was, "Did Andy tell you to do this? All his friends do this to me." Apparently that was his go to dare."
"Yesterday I came home from work and was sitting on the couch with my wife. I noticed the corner of her phone screen was cracked. I asked what happened. She said "Ted dared me to bite it really hard". Ted is my 8 year old son. My wife bit her phone until it broke because her 8 year old son dared her to. I'm now questioning all of my choices in life."
Ouch!Truth Or Dare Animation GIF by Yuval RobichekGiphy
"In 5th grade at a birthday party we all played truth or dare. My friend knew I had a crush on this girl, so he dared me to kiss her. She said "I'm sorry, I'll hug you. But I want my first kiss to be with someone I like." That stung."
A pencil? What in the world? Also, can you turn people down in Truth or Dare? It's like in the rules. You can't shoot people down like that. Isn't implied that we're willing to be part of each other's possible dares? I must do research.
All In...Running Away Go For It GIF by Coins And ConnectionsGiphy
"I jumped in a river during winter time completely naked and have a photo to prove it. I can't show the photo cause i wasn't 18 at the time but let's just say, i go all in for truth or dare."
911 Operators Break Down The Strangest Call They've Ever Received | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"It wasn't necessarily truth or dare, but I was playing For The Girls with my friends at a sleepover about a month ago, and i pulled a dare card. it said to put everyone i'd ever hooked up with into a group chat and ask if they thought any of them had anything in common."
"A game of Spin the bottle ended in everyone (10-12 people, iirc) just being naked for the rest of the night. Surprised the hell out of my roommate when he came home to find me naked in the kitchen cooking noodles while there was clearly a party going on in the next room."
"I played one game of truth or dare as a post-pubescent high school kid. We spent so much time rules-lawyering about who could make which dares, and defining levels of comfort that people could agree to participate in what kinds of things, and where the lines were drawn, that we ended up barely playing at all and nobody did anything interesting. It's like we were all thinking "I hope somebody dares me to do some fun sex stuff" but nobody had the guts to dare anybody to do any fun sex stuff."
Truth or Death
"A friend at sixth form college (so aged 16) was dared by a classmate to drink the whole of the communal bottle of vinegar that was on the cafeteria table. Maybe 300 mililitres. He did it. He was off college for a week with (predictably enough) the kind of intestinal issues you would get from chugging acid."
Run FastGo Go Go Running GIFGiphy
"Had to run naked down a residential street. Luckily it was dark and late at night so I don't think anyone but my friends saw me."
"When I was 16 there was a girl I really liked and she invited me over to play truth or dare with some of her cousins and brother. Long story short they all dared me to run naked across this field which was way further than anyone had gone. Being a dumba** and wanting to impress the girl I did it."
"They took my clothing and locked the doors and I ended up having to run naked about 2 miles through neighborhoods back to my parents house which was locked so I had to ring the door bell to get them to let me in. Most embarrassing moment of my life. She later said it wasn't her idea but needless to say my crush was over at that point."
"We came up with a house rules version of Truth or Dare. You could reject a dare/truth but you had to lose an article of clothes. It was fun, it allowed people to reject stuff they may not want to do, while increasing the tension. To answer the question, we were mostly good high school kids it so we never went too far."
Wild Kentucky!john candy smoking GIFGiphy
"I've already commented on this but I think I must do it again. I've also seen a man smoke a cigar out of his butt on dare in high school. He wasn't drunk. Eastern Kentucky is a wild place."
EEW EEW EEW EEW!!
"I had my first kiss in a game of Truth or Dare. Wasn't the sweet or pleasant experience one may be imagining it to be, though. My class was taking an overnight field trip on a charter bus. The chaperones all fell asleep so a few kids started playing Truth or Dare. I wasn't participating, I was just sitting in my spot reading a book. Then I hear one of the guys say "I dare you to kiss Strawberrycocoa."
"I look up from my book to see this girl walking very very slowly towards me, with just disgust all over her face. She leaned in extremely hesitantly, gave me a peck on the lips, then started flailing her hands and running away shrieking "EEW EEW EEW EEW!!" Absolute confidence booster, that one."
"Pretty tame (i went to a Christian high school) but post-graduation senior year of high school I came back to my home town after moving away my junior/senior year. One of the girls wanted to have her first kiss before college and she wanted it to be with me because she thought I was "experienced," so her friends got a game going to play T/D so she could kiss me. It was my turn, I chose dare, and ya. We both had our first kisses that night."
Here Kittydisgusted jennifer lawrence GIFGiphy
"Took a poop in my friend's front yard. His mom was wondering what type of cat had been in their yard until he narced on me."
"At house party in a rich area. I was dared to get naked and jump into 3 adjacent neighbors' pools (mind you, they were not close and each one had a 8'-0" tall fence that was climbable but difficult with no shoes.) Half drunk, naked, running, climbing fence, and jumping in pools. I am so thankful camera phones were not a thing back in 1998."
Hold Me NotEveryone Hugs GIFGiphy
"Not very. The last time I played was in middle school and one time my "friends" dared me to get a hug from a girl in our group. They all ran away."
Yeah, I'm going to stick with Madonna. I'm too old to be spinning bottles or grabbing dares to possibly swap some spit. I think a fiery game of UNO is a better time.
Oh the matters of the heart are just never going to be easy. Love seems to be a never ending mess. I've dated a lot and can attest that the percentage of bad to good is 70/30. And that may be generous math.
I've heard about people fighting on dates, setting fire to the restaurant, discovering hidden identities and dramas I thought only ever occurred on daytime television.
I use to believe the biggest fear about dating was that the other person may turn out to be a serial killer, but they at least tend to show you a respectable time before they strike.
Oof. Let's see who has been left scarred by the hunt.
Redditor u/givemeyourfreefood wanted everyone to share the stories that almost made them re-think searching for love, by asking:
What's the worst date you ever had?
I remember the worst date I ever had. My biggest regret is that I stayed for the entire thing. I should've left as soon as I realized this was not going well, which was basically at hello. But he was paying so I drank, a lot. I'll keep names and dates to myself to protect the innocent.
0/10Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy
"Went to brewery, date said I had hairy arms and that meant I was horny, said "you look really awful in this light" and then tried to dig out of that hole by saying in his native language that was a term of endearment long term couples said to each other. 0/10 did not date again."
"My wife wanted to plan our 13th wedding anniversary. I was excited because usually, I plan it. She bought us some new disc golf discs and after a quick supper, we went to play. We hadn't played in forever. We were laughing and I had a great time. She served me with divorce papers and told me that the date was a test to see if she still had feelings for me. I also learned that she was having an affair that started well before our anniversary."
Two Hours from Home
"Not necessarily a date but a person I was dating invited me to his parent's house for the afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to them and show me the house he grew up in. I thought it was super sweet and had no problems going. He was also in the middle of moving and needed to pick up a few things, so it really didn't seem that unusual."
"Yeah, we got there and it was awful. His entire family was there. They traveled from hours away too. This was not just meeting the parents, it was meeting the ENTIRE family. Even worse? At some point, this idiot told his parents that he had proposed. We had been dating TWO months. I spent the entire afternoon dumbfounded and just playing along."
"We were two hours from home and I had no cell service, no way to leave at all. We ended up spending the afternoon brainstorming wedding ideas and planning an Alaskan honeymoon that his parents planned to gift us. His brother even called to say congratulations! We drove back to his apartment in silence. When we got there, I got in my car and left, didn't even bother grabbing my stuff. Weirdest experience ever. I have no idea how he broke it to his parents that we weren't getting married."
You're Cut Off!
"Got set up on a blind date once between mutual friends. She shows up to the restaurant already a little tipsy, orders multiple appetizers and only takes like one or two bites from each one. Then she proceeds to order 3 or 4 more drinks and is visibly drunk at this point. She gets up and says she's going to the bathroom and staggers off. About 15-20 minutes go by so I try to call her several times but no answer."
"Finally I decide to pay the check and just leave. About 2 hours later I'm sitting at home and I get a call from an unknown number. It's the police department. She was picked up on a DUI on her way home after she ditched me and gave the cops my number to see if I could go bail her out!"
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"Well, I gave this answer on a different topic, but it ties in with this. We were out on a date, we had been seeing each other for a while, close to a year maybe. She gets a phone call. Suddenly she looks destroyed. Her fiancé had just died in a motorcycle accident."
What in the world? I mean how can we ever expect to pair off with the dating pool being inundated with liars and nut jobs? I'm going to delete my apps.
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"Had a girl openly flirt with the bartender in front of me. She says she wasn't. But handing him her own phone and asking for his contact info in front of her date seems like it to me."
"Came out from a movie, late at night, and date's Camaro was stolen. Apparently, he called his WIFE (that I did not know he had) and let her know where he was and what happened. She showed up and realized he was on a date! She started chasing ME around the parking lot telling me she was going to kill me. Saved by the cops who showed up just in time to take the auto theft report."
911 Operators Break Down The Strangest Call They've Ever Received | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"Met a girl at a country bar one night in my 20s. We were both pretty drunk but hit it off pretty good. Ended up getting her number and we agreed we'd go on a real date. Fast forward to the date, she gets in my vehicle and... she looks almost identical to my mom. I was mortified. I was polite and we went for lunch where I found out she also had a boyfriend she "wasn't sure if she was into". Never talked to her again."
"When I was in college many years ago, before the advancement of cell phones and social media, I was chatting with a girl I met on a BBS who lived on Long Island, NY. I was 18 at the time, but lied and said I was 22 because she said she was 25. We spent a few weeks emailing each other, as well as calling each other."
"We even exchanged pics. When we finally met up, things blew up. Turns out we both lied about our ages: She was really 33, and lied because she thought she looked younger. She admitted she sent a college photo to me. We still had dinner together, but it was awkward as hell. We never spoke again."
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"It was a double date. She was more interested talking to the other girl throughout the whole thing. Found out later from the other guy that his girl cheated on him with my date."
"First date after my divorce. She was nothing like her profile picture and just a horrible person. But that not the fun bit. She stalked me to my work van after the date and took down my phone number. On the way home she asked if I would come back and see her, said thanks but no thanks and have a nice life."
"In the proceeding days I received numerous texts and phone calls from her and had to have her number blocked by my phone provider. On new years day at 4am I receive a call... from her ex husband asking what was wrong with her? That she is a good person etc. etc. Turns out they went out on NYE and got crap faced together and decided to call me. I hung up only for them to keep calling me back. Ended up turning my phone off. Woke around 7."
"Turned my phone on and I had received 20+ voice recordings that were getting more and more threatening, on the last one I could hear them in a car saying they were coming over to get me. Spoke to my neighbour who gets up early and had gone for a run and he told me there were a couple being arrested around the corner from our place drunk as hell who had hit a light pole. Scary thing is I had my 2 daughters with me that night."
"You sound like my grandma"
"In college, I hit it off with a girl and agreed to go on a first date to a school hockey game. When I met her there, I realized I had forgotten my wallet, so I had to borrow $5 from her to pay for my ticket. Not a great start, and I could tell I had dug myself an early hole."
"Then, once we sat down, we realized that neither of us liked hockey at all. I have no idea why we agreed to meet there, but we were both totally uninterested in the game. So we started talking about other things we were into, and I mentioned that I liked board games."
"She said, "You sound like my grandma." At that point it was clear that neither of us were into this at all, but it was the first period of a hockey game that she had paid 10 whole dollars for, and neither of us felt right leaving. We sat there and stonily watched the rest of the game. Afterwards, we said, "Let's hang out sometime," and then never messaged each other again. Then, a few semesters later, my friend called me up all excited about a new girl he was dating."
"He wanted me to come to a get-together at his apartment and meet her. I walk in, and of course he's sitting on the couch with his arm around the very same hockey-hating girl. I immediately grabbed my wallet, handed her $5, and said, "Thank God! I've been looking for you for two years!" She laughed, and things went all right after that."
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"I had a date send her drink back several times and eventually had our server bring out all of the ingredients in separate glasses so that she could mix it herself, the "right way." What's worse is we were both in the service industry at the time."
"It was with an undertaker's assistant. He'd circle every topic of conversation back to corpses."
Me: "So, do you know what you're gonna order?"
Him: "Well I was thinking the steak, but I had eaten steak when we got the river guy in, and now it makes me feel queasy."
"I ended up leaving after half an hour."
"Met her at a bar. She ordered food but didn't eat it since it "looked disgusting" (it looked fine). So we left to go to a different restaurant and on the walk there, she kept ducking and glancing at the sky like she was being attacked by bats. She hardly said anything over then whole date, it was like pulling teeth to get her to talk about herself. At the second restaurant she took forever ordering and again didn't eat because the food looked disgusting. Emailing about the date afterwards, she admitted that she was high on "ice", which I guess is some kind of meth?"
Never go to Applebee"s!!
"Met a guy at a concert who asked me out to dinner the next weekend. Said we'd go to a restaurant halfway between his place and mine. Gives me the address which I printed out on Mapquest bc this was before GPS was normal on phones or in cars. I get there and it's an apartment building. Call him to say I think he gave me the wrong address and he said, nope! You're driving. Takes me to an Applebee's because they have the cheapest happy hour he said. We have one drink and he eats potato wedges by himself."
"When I drove him back, he asked me where my overnight bag was. I said I'm not staying the night and thanks for the beverage. He took my keys out of my ignition and told me to go upstairs. I told him if he doesn't give me my keys back, I will start screaming and call the cops. He threw them in the front seat as he got out telling me I'm missing out on hot tub time. I thankfully never saw him again."
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"He was over an hour late, no text or call, and when he finally showed up, his excuse was "sorry I'm late, my mom had to take a poop."
"I went to a new year's eve party with a guy I had been chatting with for months. When we get there his friends asks him where his girlfriend is, and they were not referring to me. I went out for a smoke at that point and he went after, saying she was boring and he was gonna break up with her. I didn't hang out with him for the rest of the night. I guess I should thank him because I hooked up with the party host instead and we've been together for 7 years."
"A guy approached me at a coffee shop and we ended up hitting it off and talking all night. About a week later we had our first "real date" at my place so I could cook him dinner. I lived in a small one bedroom apartment at the time and the bathroom door was right next to the kitchen."
"He excused himself before dinner and proceeded to take the loudest, and what I presumed to be, the most massive poop this universe has ever seen. The sounds of the toilet carnage still echo in my nightmares. I of course didn't mention that I heard the whole event and we went about our evening. After dinner we got into my bed so we could watch a movie."
"30 minutes into it, I needed to use the restroom, so I got out of the bed to reveal that I had unknowingly started my period and left a noticeable pool of blood where I was sitting. He helped me change the sheets. Anyway, we've been married a year now and he still takes the nastiest dumps known to mankind."
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"She started talking about her life story from childhood to that day. Year by year... with every single traumatic story and emotions. That was our first ever date and she didn't even let me speak for that duration. I was like "oh okay she is now talking about high school 6 more years left, hold tight."
Ummm... I think I'm just going to stay single. That is a handful of crazy. Why can't people just be honest? I swear the search for love warps people's brains. Be careful out there people.