Bachelor/Bachelorette parties are always that last wild 'hurrah' before settling down with the significant other.
However, it can sometimes get out of hand; enough to maybe ruin the whole marriage. Check out some of the craziest stories from best mans, strippers, and even the brides and grooms themselves!
1/18) "After my best friend's bachelor party, he told all of us he was going to tell his fianc what happened so there would be no secrets.
Which was fine, but when he did, he left out the part about the stripper we hired to ride in the bus with us and entertain between stops. So two weeks before the wedding the fianc was talking to one of the guys that was there. He thought she knew everything so he said something about the bus-stripper. She went nuts almost called off the wedding because "What else didn't you tell me?" and when they still had the wedding I was nearly uninvited, despite being the best man."
-mortmorges
2/18) "We were arrested by the Russian police while walking across a military airfield"
-markovitch1928
3/18) "My brother f***ed his best man before marrying his wife."
-LouryWindurst
4/18) "Stripper here. One time a guy was begging me and my coworkers to have sex with him for money. No one would. When he was begging me for the third time I realized the guy next to him was the father of the bride.
This girl's father was happily watching her future husband try to buy sex."
-Immortangee
5/18) "I used to be a male 'entertainer' in college. Pretty much every bachelorette party ended with the bride screwing one of the performers. Like, 95% of the time."
-BigAl265
6/18) "He screwed three Vegas hookers.
His wife-to-be-to-not-to-be was very traditional in her views on monogamy."
Continue to the next page for even crazier bachelor/bachelorette stories!
7/18) "It was all pretty standard stripper stuff at first. Then she asks for the groom and has him get on the floor on his back. This chick pulls a bag of blow pops out of her bag and we're all a bit confused. She jams this thing up her snatch so only the stick is visible. Now come the balloons. She has him bite these balloons one by one so she can straddle his face and pop them with her snatch stick. Pretty funny stuff.
Once her balloons ran out, she told him to bite the stick and pull the blow pop out, which he did. She turned it around and had him suck the damn thing! I think it's only shocking bc of how gross she was. I mean, she's a stranger and we know nothing of her personal health, but I thought I was gonna catch something just looking at this poor girl. Groom seems a bit uneasy but is going with it.
She reaches back into her bag of assorted abominations and pulls out a can of whipped cream. Surely this will be a bit more tame, right? Whipped cream on her breasts or something. Nope!
She sprays this crap inside of herself, then sits on dude's face. As you can imagine, she is now the whipped cream dispenser and the groom's mouth is her target. It didn't take long for him to decide he wanted his mouth closed for this, so now she's leaking this stuff all over his face and grinding it in there. That's where the energy in the room kinda fizzled out. I don't think any of us expected anything like that to happen.
Once she finished with the groom, she was kind enough to turn her attention back to the rest of us to offer various sexual services for the right price. Best man paid for a handy in the bathroom. Groom was offered the full package for free. He politely declined. In fact, he thought it best to call his fiancee and have her pick him up, which she did. We thought she was gonna be pissed when she showed up but I think she could see how little he actually enjoyed himself.
Shell shocked would probably be the best description."
-MisterYut
8/18) "Bride gave a blow-job to the stripper her future sister in law/Maid of Honor ordered. Worst thing I have ever witnessed.
Fast forward: they are still happily married almost 20 years, 3 kids."
-daphneroxy39
9/18) "I tore my ACL for the first time on a stripper pole in a bar during a friend's Bachelorette party. I was so drunk that I initially wasn't sure I was injured, so I climbed off the platform and rejoined the ladies on the dance floor. Midway through Motown Philly my anterior drawer slid out and my leg collapsed underneath me. I was helped into the limo and into the hotel.
The following day I used a chair to hobble across the hotel room, had the front desk deliver me a wheelchair, got to the parking lot, and drove left legged to a Walgreens where I hopped in on one foot and bought crutches. I then drove four hours home using only my left leg and saw the doctor Monday morning. Reconstructive surgery and nine months of rehab followed -18 months after the first tear I fell on ice and ruptured the graft. I now walk with a cane and will be crippled in the right leg for life.
TL; DR: LEAVE THE STRIPPER POLE TO THE PROFESSIONALS YOU DUMBO.
Ouch. Click on the next page for even more!
10/18) "When I was 18, my 24 year old brother was getting married, and I was a groomsman. The entire wedding party still lived near our mom's house, so his best man decided to have the bachelor party in her living room because, in his eyes, it was both convenient and hilarious. Mom is totally cool with it and decides to hide out in her bedroom all night watching TV.
The stripper shows up and does her show. At one point she asks who wants to get spanked. My brother's friends, who I've known since I was a kid, instantly volunteer me. I'm on all fours and this stripper is smacking my ass with a riding crop and I look up to see my mother in the hallway.
We lock eyes briefly. An entirely new level of embarrassment washes over me. She looks like she's trying not to laugh too loudly and goes in to the bathroom.
This was in 2005, and we never spoke of it again."
-shokker
11/18) "During my cousin's bachelor party, me and my brother walked into the bathroom and saw my cousin sucking his fiancee's father's cock. We walked out, never brought it up again, and 3 years later they still appear to be happily married."
-danheil
12/18) "No idea if he followed through with his inquiry, but the groom was asking the stripper just how far she would go. I noped out of that one considering they had invited me halfway into the night, so I showed up completely sober to a basement full of banana peels and weird smells. Fairly certain I was only there for 10 minutes tops. Barely knew the groom as friend-of-a-friend so just really didn't care to stick around."
-cptnamr7
13/18) "I know a guy who was completely against having a bachelor party, but his friend insisted. He agreed, on the condition there would be no strippers, because his fiancee was against that. They took him to a strip club and paid a stripper to give him a lap dance, and they took pictures of it. After the bachelor party, this friend told him, "If you ever piss me off, I will show these pictures to your wife."
Years later, this guy was working for the "friend" part-time. He was told he had to work on a certain day, but he couldn't do it. This idiot mailed the pictures to his wife, and they ended up separating for a long time. They're together again, not because she didn't find out, but despite the fact that she did.
It never ceases to amaze me how horrible some people can be with no real motivation."
14/18) "My best friend (the bride), her future sister in laws (both girls are engaged to the husband-to-be brothers) got down to g-strings with the topples waiters while playing some strip card game. They also were licking the guys body all over and were rubbing all over them.
Funny thing was when it came to the bucks night the next week the same girls that got naked were all crying because the boys had a stripper when they made them promise not to get one."
-reddit123four5
To the last page for the absolute nuttiest ones yet!
15/18) "Not me but a friend:
Stripper shows up with face mask dildos where your mouth would be. Gets a guy or two to f*** her with it. Then tells my friend to lay on the ground face up with it on. She squats on his face and starts bouncing up and down. Well she finally got off him and he's unconscious. Apparently the bouncing and hitting his head on the ground repeatedly gave him a concussion and he had to go to the hospital."
-indecisive311
16/18) "I once ended up in a foursome with a couple that was to be married the next day...
I didn't know them and only ended up there because the girl I had previously dated for a few months and still had a thing for, was their friend (and the guy's ex). Both girls got me drunk at a club without me realizing their intentions for the night. It was a very bad situation seeing the girl I liked being railed by some dude when she told me she was a lesbian, and I really didn't enjoy myself.
Que awkward next day, when the couple took me back to my car. Upon exiting the car I didn't know what to say, but for some reason went with, "Good luck with your marriage." They just stared at me and I closed the door."
-Howtofightloneliness
17/18) "I did end up blind drunk with one of the skankiest strippers ever to enter the profession. It started off tame enough. Then there's a massive hole in my memory. Then I remember a lot of tongue and heavy groping in the hallway.
Thank Christ my best man pulled me off her and out of the house. We wound up in the ditch howling at the full moon.
The next day me and my massively painful hangover visited everyone that brought a camera and burned the film on the backyard grill."
-poetetc1
18/18) "My friend was at a particularly dirty strip club for one. But the one guy there was not really into it. He was standing on the sidelines avoiding the girls when one comes up to him asking him why he isn't getting any dances. He responds that he just isn't interested. She says, "But I am so wet for you." He says, "Prove it." So she reaches down and touches herself and flicks the proof in this guys face. It proved her point because he needed to go to the bathroom to wash his face off.
That night ended without further craziness, but a few weeks later this guy has a really bad itching in his eye. Goes to the Doctor. Yep. Eye Herpes."
-treopolis
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Ok, who is watching the clock? Those seconds aren't going to count themselves. The only way to understand time is to be its witness. Although that can get depressing. Let's focus on the light and cool.
History...
Calculate Figure It Out GIF by OriginalsGiphy"If you are an 80-year-old American, you have lived through approximately 1/3 of our nation's entire history."
Those Days...
"The 80s were 40 years ago."
"This is what messes me up because I was born in 82 and graduated high school in 2000 so for some reason my brain is stuck on the 80's being twenty years ago. The 70's thirty years ago etc etc. I have to stop and realize sometimes that my concept of how long ago things happened is way off."
Time goes by...
"We observe that light travels at 186,000 miles a second, but given the vast size of the observable universe, that's a snail's pace. But from the point of view of a particle of light, time doesn't even exist."
"Time slows down as you approach the speed of light, and theoretically stops completely when you reach the speed of light."
Years Gone By...
"MLK Jr. and Anne Frank were born in the same year."
"Betty White was born in 1922. Automatically pre-sliced packaged bread loaves became commercially available in 1928. Betty White is six years older than sliced bread."
Long Live the Queen!
queen elizabeth images GIFGiphy"The queen and Marilyn Monroe would've been the same age."
"And Marilyn Monroe and Andy Griffith were born on the same day!"
- osme1
I swear Liz is going to outlive dirt. Wait, I believe she already has. Well she won't be alone, she'll have Betty White. At least she better have Betty. Time is nothing without Queen Betty.
TV Time
Season 2 Omg GIF by Paramount+Giphy"Happy Days was a TV show made in the 1970s-80s about teenagers in the 1950s. Similarly, That 70s Show was made in the 90s-00s about teenagers in the 70s. If a similar show were to be made today, it would be about teenagers in the 2000s."
- VVillyD
A Croc
"If a T-Rex imagined a creature as ancient as the T-Rex is to us, it would be a Stegosaurus. If that Stegosaurus imagined a creature as ancient as the Stegosaurus is to us, it would be a Crocodile. If that Crocodile imagined a creature as ancient as that Crocodile is to us, it would be a Shark."
On the Clock
"On a twenty four hour clock the amount of time that humans have been on the earth would total around five seconds."
"How about this one: If Homo Habilus first appeared at midnight, 24 hours ago, that means the first Homo Sapiens appeared at 9:25 PM, or about 2 and a half hours ago. The first human civilization, in lower Mesopotamia, appeared at 11:57 PM, or about 3 minutes ago."
"The Western Roman Empire fell at 11:59 PM, or 1 minute ago. Everything that has happened since - the Crusades, the Plague, the discovery of the New World, the world wars, all of it - has happened in the last minute of human existence."
And that's just OUR Sun...
"The span of our lives are so insignificantly small that our Sun will last another 5 billion years. That's 9 zeros people. Our eldest live to around 100 in the best places. That's 50,000,000 (50 million) times longer than any person can reasonably expect to live. And that's just OUR Sun. The universe as a whole has probably existed for magnitudes longer than that already and will continue to exist until the end of time as we know it."
Tell Me a Story
william shakespeare GIF by will herringGiphy"We know what a good storyteller Shakespeare was but there were Greek playwrights who wrote shows nearly 2,000 years earlier that are pretty good, too."
I hate time. Only because I'm petty and irritated of the amount I squandered. That's neither here nor there though. Time marches on and continues to amaze. I'll keep watching.
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