How necessary is it?
Some people need it.
Some are good with a once-and-a-blue-moon situation.
No matter your personal thoughts, when you're in a relationship it's a two-way street convo.
You have to be on the same page about intimacy or else it all blows up.
So...
Let's talk about sex baby.
Redditor Abysmal_2003 wanted to discuss sex and all the drama and fun it brings.
"How important is sex to you In a relationship?"
I love sex. And from experience I know it's important.
Toilet Thoughts
I Understand 2 Chainz GIF by MOST EXPENSIVEST
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"A wise man once told me 'Sex in a relationship is like a bathroom in a house. It's not why you're there, but if it disappears it can be an issue.'"
Fubai97b
Desire
"Sigh... Prostate cancer survivor here. Since I had my prostate removed to stave off cancer, I have no sexual desire (this is rare; many men have ED problems, but an unlucky few like me have no sexual desire at all). My wife has been very supportive (we are both in late 60's early 70's) and we still have plenty of cuddles and our memories to fall back on."
amerkanische_Frosch
Checkmate
"I think it's something for which you need checkpoints every so often. While at the beginning you may have the same drive things can change on a physical level (hormones, etc) that may pull you one way or another. Don't assume that just because you had the talk years ago and you feel the same way that it's the same on the other side as well."
FellcallerOmega
"bringing it up"
"Doesn't have to be a centerpiece but I should never have to beg for it."
its_Is
"This to be honest. Always felt like I was the one 'bringing it up' so to say. Pretty big dealbreaker. And before someone saying stuff about how I could do something different/I did something wrong: Shut up. You have no clue about any context."
KanadeKanashi
Not Everything
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"Sex isn't a super important part of a relationship until one of you isn't getting the sex you want to be getting. Then it can become very important."
ethnicbonsai
Clearly everyone is obsessed with sex. Big shock.
Same Page
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"If it’s not important to you, you better make sure your partner feels the same or you are going to have a bad time."
lone_rutabaga
Human Intimacy
"I really don’t care at all. I used to think I wanted sex, but then I realized I just incredibly starved of human intimacy. Yes sex is an intimate thing but I’ll be just as happy curled up under a blanket with someone."
YUNGN0
"Agreed. Am dating someone who can't have sex right now for medical reasons... instead we just cuddled on the bed for a little bit. It was just as magical, if not more so."
Glamdring804
earth-shattering...
"I was someone who placed some importance on it before but not a ton. Then I met someone who really gave me an actual earth-shattering orgasm and that’s all she wrote. I’m still as attracted to him as I was when we first got together. Sex isn’t everything but when it’s good it really does take the relationship to another level."
SPtotheA
be-all-end-all...
"Pretty important. I love sex. It makes me feel closer to my partner. I love feeling desirable, vulnerable, loved, trusted, and just good. That being said, if my sexual partners decided they didn't want sex anymore for whatever reason, than our relationships wouldn't change for me. I'd miss the sex, and coping might be difficult initially. But as important as sex is, it's not the be-all-end-all when it comes to loving someone, and I'd still be grateful to have them in my life."
mother**queer
Desired
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"For me the sex itself isn’t what’s important so much as the feeling of being desired. We don’t have to have sex often as long as I know I’m the only one you’re looking at in that way."
ImAshroom-69
Together
"Very important, it brings us so much closer."
Inside-Currency9002
"I was someone who placed some importance on it before but not a ton. Then I met someone who really gave me an actual earth-shattering orgasm and that’s all she wrote. I’m still as attracted to him as I was when we first got together. Sex isn’t everything but when it’s good it really does take the relationship to another level."
SPtotheA
80/20
"Crucial. My mom used to say when the sex is good it makes up 20% of a relationship, when the sex is bad it becomes 80% of the relationship."
WhiteTigressss
"Old Boomer Dude Here: She was right on point. My sex drive departed in my fifties and I don’t miss it, but my poor wife certainly does. The interesting thing is apart from that, I’m a pretty great husband. But the lack of intimacy is killing the marriage."
bdbdbokbuck
beyond a certain point...
"I'd put it as a requirement, but it's more like 'we need a certain amount of compatibility sexually for this relationship to work' rather than it being a primary determinant of how much I value the relationship. Like, beyond a certain point, if sexual compatibility is good enough, it doesn't matter if it's the best I've ever had or if we have it all the time. Other things are much more important. Nonetheless, if we couldn't even make each other happy sexually, there's no way I'd stay in that relationship."
d**gsucker
Desire
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"I just want to be desired."
darlingmakinzie
"This. The actual act of sex is cool, but I want the desire. I want to be lusted after the same way I would lust at my partner."
xxDoublezeroxx
Bad Cuts
"For me it’s important because it makes me feel wanted. But I only want it if she wants it. Nothing worse than having it feel like it’s a chore or obligation for her. Once a month isn’t cutting it but I’ve tried everything to make things in her life easier that maybe she’d be interested. My self esteem is now at a zero and all I want is to feel wanted or desired."
TheHeed97015
Chores
"Very... sex to me isn't just getting my load off but it'd a actual 'connection' to me on a emotional level... being able to communicate with each other and have a good sex life because of it is just as important to me as something as simple like being able to share chores or being able to accept that you might disagree on things and that being more then okay."
6F1I
Partners
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"Not at all important. To me the emotional intimacy matters. For me a relationship is a safe space where we can support each other and be there for each other. Sex doesn't have to be a part of that. Of course, as long as both partners think that way, otherwise there's gonna be a problem."
Name-Forsaken
speaking from experience...
"There are a lot of great responses in this thread. Great question, but also I think the wrong focus. The right one is 'how important is sex in the relationship you have?' If the answer to the question you asked is more or less the same from both parties, then all is good."
"If this is a source of disconnect then it can be a major issue. Sex and intimacy are foundational to a true relationship, but whether or not it is a load bearing support depends on both partners not just you. (speaking from experience)."
waremi
Hold Me
"It wouldn’t really affect me to not have it. Cuddles on the other hand... I can’t imagine a relationship without them. They recharge me and fill me with love."
machinedog
Sex. Love it. Hate it. We need it or need to communicate our needs. At least now and again.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.