We've all seen them and at times we may have been one A KAREN! You know who that is.... a difficult person, that's describing it politely. Karen's make scenes and do all that is necessary to get anything and everything their way. Working in any form of a service job, Karens are your worst nightmare.
Redditor externalodyssey wanted to hear from everybody about their Karen encounters by asking:
Managers of Reddit - what is a Karen experience like ? What was you worst experience ?
"I loved Karens when I was managing. Being able to say "I am the manager" followed soon by "Sorry, that's company policy" always results in a flustered Karen leaving in a huff and a much relieved crew."netrunui
Gimme the Cheese!
"Happened before I became a manager, but once while I was serving at Steak 'n Shake, customer had a coupon for a burger, fries and a shake for $x.xx, can't remember the price anymore. Anyway, on the coupon it specifically stated that cheese on the burger was $0.39 up charge, although it did have a picture of a burger with cheese on it. Lady THREW A FIT in the dining room that I was treating her unfairly, it was false advertising, etc. etc. I told her I agree it's false advertising with the picture, but the text specifically states the up charge and unfortunately I can't do anything about it."
"The lady at the next table over heard everything and literally got up and put $0.50 on the table to cover it and said something to the effect of "I'll pay for your damn cheese if you just shut up." This pissed the cheese lady off even more. My manager obviously sensed the issue and came out. Took the cheese up charge of the bill. Like WTH Karen." woahhhmom8
In the Vacuum.
"Work at a vacuum repair shop. People don't pay attention to their vacuum cleaners as much as you'd think lol"
I cant tell you how many times someone comes to pick up their vacuum and says "oh this one isn't mine" or "mine didn't have scratches down the side."
I"" can tell you it is, and it came in with all those scratches on the side."
"After the first 2 times it happened to me we started taking pictures of the unit with serial numbers and customer info, send them home with the serial number and require them to bring it back for pick up. Despite the evidence, I've had a lady close to tears because we didn't have her vacuum. Even with the pictures we had of it at drop off, her information, the matching serial numbers."
"Sure it's a big conspiracy we just love taking in vacuums and switching all the information around because its fun. People need to pay more attention."myacheivement
Bye Bye Birdie.
"I was the only person on shift, which made me the de facto manager."
"Five minutes before closing, a woman comes in and is sooo angry that we don't have any decaf. She demands to speak to the manager. I tell her that's me because I'm the only one here, and the coffee pots are cleaned for the night because it's five minutes to close. No, I'm sorry, I can't make another pot just for her. There's another place around the corner."
"She screams at me, tells me she's going to "find a real manager and get my fool butt fired," throws half a cup of cappuccino machine sludge at me, and starts to look like she's gonna jump the counter. I'm holding a hammer under the counter thinking "don't do it, don't do it."
"I pick up the phone like I'm going to call the cops. She leaves. I lock the door."
"She COMES BACK AND RUNS FACE FIRST INTO THE GLASS DOOR. LIKE A BIRD."wrrrdgrrrl
"Best of the best interactions I ever had."
"Karen griped about not wanting to pay the price for the services performed on her computer, which was exactly the price quoted when she dropped it off and which she had signed for. She demanded to speak to the service manager. I called him from the back."
"Service manager listened to her spiel as to how she should get a lower price because [irrelevant, pea-brained reason]. Service manager made eye contact with me over her shoulder; I did not react, he said no, price quoted was the price that would be charged."
"She said that was unacceptable, and she would be complaining to the owner, who was a good friend."
"Service manager observed that he was evidently not that good a friend, since that he (me) was the person she was originally speaking with when she asked for the service manager."
"Her face was glorious, and made the whole thing worthwhile!"garycarroll
That's Just Policy.
"I'm not in retail anymore, but I was managing a popular mid range handbag store. Think "typical Karen bag," about $200-400. Anyway, most customers were fantastic. This one woman was this Shrek-looking large redheaded lady who stomped in and demanded that we repair her 20 year old bag for FREE... and if we couldn't do that, she demanded that we exchange this old ratty smelly 20 year old bag for a brand new one for her. Recently policy changes had resulted in new prices for this service, but free repairs had about a 1 year warranty on a new bag... not a 20 year old one."
"I tell her as such. I was pretty young to have had the role I did so she, dissatisfied with my answer, asked to speak to a manager. I told her I'm the manager and she began turning as red as her hair. She screamed and yelled about how she'll call corporate and never shop here again!! Well, that sounds like a real loss, losing a customer that is too cheap to repair a 20 year old bag and hasn't bought new from us in just as long."
"I give her my best poop eating grin and say "Im so sorry, thats just the policy." She demands corporates number. I give her the customer service line that you can find on Google, unbeknownst to her. She huffs away, forgetting her keys on the counter. She's halfway out and she remembers, turns around, red as a beet, huffs in my smiling face and snatches the keys off the counter. It was hilarious. She came back months later, worked with a different person on the team, and didn't even look my way."arinyblack
Parents Explain Which Things Surprised Them Most When Their Child Moved Out | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Karen -vs- The Marine.
"Wasn't the manager but worked at an REI for a while. One incident comes to mind though, involving an ex marine who worked at our store fixing bikes. He had to run to the back to grab a part and as he was going back to the bike shop on the other side of the store a customer who was already being pretty loud and aggressive with everyone decided to grab my coworker by the arm very aggressively and try spin him around to face him. Marine training kicked in and the next thing I know angry customer man is laying in the remains of a display about 8 feet away."
"Of course he jumps up screaming and yelling that he's going sue us and get my coworker fired, and we're all going to jail yada yada yada. Manager comes out, heard the story, looks at the security footage, and tells the customer he is never allowed to grab employees like that, he's welcome to call the cops if he would like because she's willing to press charges against him for assault, and he was banned from our store."
"No one at the store was upset about losing that customer, he was kind of notorious for being a jerk and constantly trying to abuse our return policy."Zoomwafflez
Extra Ain't Free!
"I love the ones who seem to think extra food is free. Your not going to go anywhere and get extra meat/queso/ guacamole etc for free."
"I had a couple come in got a salad. They asked for extra meat, then queso then even more queso. I told them they would be charged for each scoop. She flipped out, she started cussing at me about how it's wrong she shouldn't have to pay for more then one, why must we be so expensive the other location does not do this. I gave her a big smile and let her know I am the general manager of that said store and help here when needed."
"So no you do not get that treatment there sorry extra food is not free. She then started screaming for corporate number and the store owner. I told her I couldn't give out people's private numbers and told her to leave and she is now banned from both stores. She did put in a compliant and guess who sees them and makes return calls? Me, she hung up on me when I called."AnxiousMom4
"I was working at a public pool in my town, and the rules are that you can't bring outside food or drinks into the pool. This rule didn't please Karen, who was very eager to let me know that she had just spent 12 DOLLARS on this coffee from STARBUCKS. She argues with me by saying that the public pool in the next town over allows it. I keep saying the same rehearsed response, that its our policy that outside food and drinks can't come in the pool. Anyways she dumped the coffee onto our computer and I called the police." PmMeFemdomHentai
No YOU'RE Unprofessional!Giphy
"After going back and forth on an issue we couldn't help with the customer on the phone said something to the effect of, "Well that's not good enough."
"And after being fed-up I simply said, "Well you not liking the answer doesn't mean the answer changes."
"And she said, "That's really unprofessional. "And I said, "You thinking it's unprofessional also doesn't change the answer."
"And then she said, "Let me talk with your manager."
"To which I got to say, "I am the manager, we're going in circles, if you'd like you can email me at "manager@companyemail" in which case I'll review your complaint to determine if it needs to be escalated."
"She was not happy when she hung up, my manager was laughing though."TacoMagic
The Call Center.
"Not a manager, but I used to work in a call center and had plenty of Karens who wanted to talk to someone above me because they thought the world existed to cater to them."
"I always went back into their account to review the notes to see what was done. 9 out of 10 times they were given whatever they wanted even if it wasn't justified."
"Which is so stupid—enabling these people's behavior is what's got them feeling so entitled in the first place."
"I once told a woman if she didn't pay for her services, after 60 days they'd be interrupted. She responded with "Excuse me? I'm a valued customer and that is not how I will be treated." or something to that effect."
You're all Fired!Giphy
"I think the one standout I remember was a few years ago when my company (cell phone provider) gave everyone unlimited data for like 3 months for no charge. It was essentially a stress test on our network, but everyone was getting free data so it wasn't like anyone could complain."
"Or so I thought."
"I talked to one lady who had demanded a manager because unlimited phone data wasn't enough, they wanted unlimited data on their hotspot as well. She then threatened to "get us all fired" because we wouldn't give her unlimited data through her hotspot, which was actually a feature we didn't even offer paying customers at the time."
"She ranted and raved for a while and we ended up passing her between like 5 levels of supervisors before she gave up."SayNoToStim
"One time a Karen tried to return an expensive handbag that had obviously been used. She proceeded to say I was calling her a liar and her anger escalated as she paced back and forth at the till point."
"The Karen then proceeded to tell me that she was going to call in some guys to come after me after I finish work. Throughout this I am politely repeating my request that Karen leave but in hindsight I think this must have been rather annoying... as Karen proceeded to grab the bag and launch herself over the till at me in an attempt to hit me with it."
"At this point in time, a colleague who was yet to start their shift (therefore appeared as a customer) was on the shop floor and had witnessed it all. They tackled Karen into the wall, knocking down glass shelves which had been displaying around 30 bags. Karen is a crumpled mess on the floor, appears shocked, stumbles upright and runs away."yayaya21212
The Male Karen.
"Former fast food worker reporting about a male Karen."
"He came through the drive through and handed me what I knew to be a fake $100 bill. I knew it was fake, but the process was to make sure the deposit box bill feeder didn't accept it. Well of course it didn't because that crap was fake."
"So he pulls around and comes inside yelling and calling me racist (dude was black) because I wouldn't take his fake 100."
"He called for the manager and I bailed to the back because I wanted to leave the twilight zone."TheMortarGuy
Not my Dog!
"This was 30 years ago and there was literally no way I could help this woman. She left while yelling that she hoped my dog died."gutterpeach
Not too Doughy!
"Not a manager, but a kitchen chef in a pizzeria. We occasionally get this lady that orders a pizza then tries to complain about it in order to get it for free. We always deny her and she always with threatens to give us a bad review on Yelp or to whoever is unfortunate enough to be on the phone with her. One time, she ordered a pizza with gluten free crust and complained that the crust was "too doughy," so she demanded it to be free."
"Gluten free crusts are as crispy as a cracker when they come out of the oven and are almost the same while we make it. Even if someone didn't bake it in the oven beforehand for whatever reason, it's virtually impossible for it to be doughy."
"For about a week, all of us would tell each other, "Make sure that it isn't too doughy" as a joke when we had to make gluten free pizzas."MetaGigaZ
"I managed a restaurant a few years back that was vegan and gluten free. Do you know whose children are more entitled than any to cause destruction in your restaurant? Karen's vegan kids that have a gluten allergy." MurrayVonCurry
"I saw an account terminated and their address PERMANENTLY banned from service by a senior VP. The lady called in to try to restart her service, then proceeded to complain and ask for management when she was told she couldn't. I can't even imagine the amount of complaining she had to have done to get to the senior VP level, since even major escalations only get to a level that's like 3 levels below that."
"I read the notes and looked at the account, and she had 6+ service calls every month for 3+ years. This lady apparently called in almost every day to complain and ask for credits due to her service not working."
"The address was blocked, and the notes basically said, "This address will never get service again. If this lady somehow gets service from this company again, everybody involved will be fired." Meta2048
Karen in Charge!Giphy
I" had an actual Karen as a manager. Two faced, played favorites and had this annoying nervous laugh she would use at the end of everything she said. As if to punctuate the idiocy of her statement. I think, ha ha, that we should try it this way, ha ha. Because it, ha ha, might, ha ha, work better."
"YES!!! She talked just like that."OhioTARDIS
Karen and the Law.
"Try dealing with Karen when you're a cop. "Do you know who my husband is?" "You better not touch me. My husband is so and so" Yea ok well tell me who your husband is on your way to jail. Karen is always racist too. "Don't you have some black people to arrest? I actually obey the law" Well Karen assaulting your husband is illegal, so my black partner is going to take you jail now."
"Or Karen the military officer's wife "My husband is a captain. Where's my salute?" Kimbersdad26
Clearly not everyone got enough lessons in manners!
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments.
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We love movies.
Movies and entertainment save the world.
But some movies can send you into a messy place.
Some topics are just a lot to handle.
That is why some films, when done right and authentically, are just too real to experience.
No need to watch that again.
Redditor Kilo_616 wanted to discuss the films that have left us... SHOOK!!
"What’s a good f**ked up movie?"
I don't really seek out these types of movies, but one that stands out for me is 'Monster.'
Charlize and Christina are BRILLIANT!
Hopelesscold war documentary GIF by Kino LorberGiphy
"Threads. Depiction of nuclear war that is unanimously loved over in r/horror. A year later it still bothers me"
"They showed this movie to us as kids in Elementary School. So yeah. Why have a childhood that contains hope anyway?"
"Wasn't popular and reception was mixed, but I always enjoyed Cube. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cube_(1997_film)"
"Cube 2 hypercube wasn't that great but I love the title so much. Whenever I heard of any sequel that's the original name + 2 I always have to add the hyper in my head. Saw 2 - Hypersaw. It cracks me up an embarrassing amount."
"CUBE IS AMAZING. Nobody can tell me otherwise. And that Cube-esque multiplayer game that was made too."
"Cube is a 10/10 for me. I love that movie."
Switch to Home Printone hour photo smile GIFGiphy
"One Hour Photo."
"I ran a one hour photo at CVS when that movie came out. There's a scene where Robin Williams is in full respirator PPE gear dumping out the chemicals. I was like 'I do that in my work clothes.'"
"That movie is crazy. First time I realized what a brilliant dramatic actor Robin Williams was."
The French One
"Martyrs (the original french). Weirdly beautiful in a very morbid way."
"That was my thought as well. This movie really just puts you in an uncomfortable place by the end. French horror is weird."
"I've not yet been able to watch Inside. Anytime I get close I just think of how I felt for weeks after Martyrs and put on a 10 hour animated video of the kittens in a marching band to soothe myself."
"I hadn't thought about Martyrs since I watched it ten years ago and just reading the title gave me anxiety. On my way to cat vids now!"
Mitch?pans labyrinth faun GIFGiphy
"Pan’s Labyrinth. I was not expecting that at all!!!"
"My favorite part is when the girl eats a grape and Mitch McConnell chases her."
That Pan's creature is for nightmares only! I mean, Lord. I can't with that movie.
"Requiem for a Dream. The movie starts 'effed up and goes into a complete whirlwind from then."
"You think it can't get worse and then it does. Again and again."
"I just watched this about a year ago for the first time, have watched it 2 more times and it's insane. The whole movie feels like you are actively doing drugs. Starts out with an amazing high and rush and then you just feel like trash. Loved it."
THAT MovieOh No Art GIF by Arrow VideoGiphy
"We Need To Talk About Kevin."
"Unbelievable that thus is so low. Tilda Swinton is phenomenal in it. She really nailed the part of 'person in close contact with Ezra Miller.'"
"This is the first movie that came to mind. It was Thanksgiving. A few friends laying around, enjoying our turkey hangover, smoking a little, not paying close attention. And then, 'Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?' Talk about a plot twist!"
"This was my thought too. There are a handful of films that are great but I've never successfully recommended to anybody because I can't describe them in a way that makes anybody want to watch them. Incendies is one of those films."
VisceralSnowtown Murders Horror GIF by ShudderGiphy
"Snowtown. It's a depiction of one of the most prolific serial killers in Australian history. It's very visceral. It all feels very real when you watch it."
"I just heard a podcast about the real story. I'm not sure I'm ready to watch that yet."
"Trainspotting. Make sure you also read the book."
"Trainspotting is a great movie, and I enjoyed the second one too. But in terms of f**ked-upness The Acid House is along similar lines but next level."
"The scene that really broke me was the 'toilet scene.' I'm really sensitive when it comes to human excrements so this disgusted me beyond belief. Absolute nightmare fuel. I will never watch that movie again, that's for sure."
"I saw Trainspotting years ago in the midst of my own drug addiction (clean now 7 yrs) and actually loved it. I’m ashamed to say I had no idea there was a book but I’m definitely gonna read it now."
I'm not sure about this list. But, I'll take a look. With the lights on. During the day.
When we're kids, being an adult and getting to do whatever we want often seems like the bestest, most awesome thing we could imagine.
But not everything is better as an adult.
Jobs, responsibilities, and that weird back pain you always seem to get when you sit at your desk too long are just part of getting older. A lot of things that were awesome as a kid just don't hit the same as an adult either.
Redditor Athompson9866 asked:
"What was f'king awesome as a kid, but sucks as an adult?"
"People coming to your house to visit and stay a few days."
"Losing a tooth"
"Oh yes! Can you imagine running around showing your family: 'Look! I lost a tooth! Doesn't it make me look adorable?'"
"And when you are a kid, a lost tooth makes you money. $ As an adult, it costs you way more than all the money the tooth fairy ever gave you."
It's All Junk
"Getting mail. I remember everyday begging my parents if I got mail. (I had pen pals). I got so excited when something came for me. Now I dread going to the mailbox because all that will be there are bills."
"Always bills 😞"
"And junk scams or advertisements"
Doughboys Cost How Much?!
"The State Fair. Especially now that I have to pay for everything."
"My parents took us to Disney World for a week as kids. I went for 4 days with my husband a few years ago and wanted to go home with how expensive everything was. I went home and thanked my parents for that trip."
"'2 slices of pizza and 2 sodas? That’ll be $35 please.' —The County Fair"
Get In, Get Out
"Going to the mall. I used to like browsing stores, but now I just want to get what I need and go."
"I mean, most malls are also depressing vistas of empty storefronts bookended by a department store on life support these days"
"There used to be fun things at the mall. An arcade, stores with stuff in them to look at... now it's empty except for maybe a drug store and a grocery store."
World Go Spinny
"Spinning in circles."
"I try to do that now while holding my little one and I do about two spins before I'm lightheaded and dizzy as a drunk."
"Turning my head too fast makes me dizzy and nauseated lol"
"I was soooo surprised by this as an adult! Spinning and rollercoasters are fun as a child. I tried that as an adult with my kids and felt like I was going to die. The dizziness takes so much longer to go away and you feel terrible the whole time."
"Staying awake till 2 in the morning as a teen/young adult: 'Yea baby!! the possibilities are ENDLESS!!'"
"Staying awake till 2 in the morning as a 40-something: 'This is gonna hurt in the morning'"
"My circadian rhythm is set so firmly that I know I'm still gonna wake up at 7 am no matter how late I try to stay up so I hate staying up past 1 am. I'm usually in bed by like 9:30pm these days just cause I'd rather get comfortable and play a game on my phone until I get sleepy."
"I'm 38 with the sleep schedule of a 4 year old but I don't care."
All Pain, All The Time
"No Pain! I could fall down, scrap my knee and cry for like 1 minute and then get back up and ride a bike, or play tag or whatever. Now, I fall down... I am staying down and may need Life Alert! I have to take advil, put my knee up with Ice, and complain to my wife how painful it is for the next week. That is if I am lucky and didn't break the whole thing."
"So I'm like into jogging now and I wished I got into it when I was younger. After a run, I felt this weird pain, like a bruise, on the back of my right foot. Long story short, it's Haglund's deformity. I googled it and it said, 'it's a common injury that occurs to middle aged people who runs.'"
"I don't know what hurts more, my foot or my self esteem when I realize now I'm middle-aged."
🎶 Summer Breeze Makes Me Feel ... Blah
"Summer. When you’re a kid, it's three months of freedom from school. When you’re an adult, you still have to go to work, but now it’s sweltering hot and you’re sweating your balls off all day, every day."
"This is the answer I was looking for. It’s even harder if you are a working parent - trying to give your kid that super awesome summer while trying to keep your job. That balance between 'I want to come play at the park with you' and 'I really don’t want to lose my job' is hard."
"Staying home on a sick day."
"As a kid it was a huge victory, got to stay in bed all day, watch TV, and having a parent tend to your every need. Then as an adult you're just thinking about the work you're gonna have to make up for and how you hope you don't need to go to a doctor."
"Hehe, now there's WFH so you can be sick AND still work! Got COVID? Well, we have to get this proposal out today and you have a laptop, right?"
Adulthood definitely isn't the sunshine and roses most of us thought it was going to be when we were little, that's for sure.
Life is full of mysteries. And while we seem to be cognizant of many of life's miracles, it's obvious there is still much to discover within the vastness of our existence.
Much of the world's known facts are fascinating–some even inspiring.
But there are some facts that are just downright ominous and unsettling to an extent where ignorance is bliss.
Curious to explore what these might be, Redditor Vacancier1807 asked:
"What are some VERY creepy facts?"
These medical anomalies are very unsettling.
The Right Match
"If you get a blood transfusion and get the wrong type of blood (A, B, O, AB) one of the symptoms is 'a sense of impending doom.'"
Don't Underestimate Beauty
"There's a tiny little jellyfish which can induce the same sensation of impending doom... Along with some serious pain and likely hospitalization. It's only tiny as well, about the size of a fingernail, although the tentacles are much longer, maybe about a meter long."
"It's called the Irukandji jellyfish."
"There is a genetic disease called fibrodisplaysia ossificans progresiva. When tissue is damaged, it is replaced with bone."
"Growths form underneath their skin and their joints lock solid. So over time, those affected slowly become encased in a prison of bone just beneath their own skin."
"They usually have to choose between sitting or standing up for the rest of their life. By the end of their life they have to drink every meal through a straw and can barely move"
Invincible Micro Killers
"Bacteria and viruses can be frozen for millions of years and still be viably infectious, and having never encountered humanity before, could have no end of catastrophic results should they be uncovered and manage to infect a person or animal."
"Not to worry though, it’s not like millions of ancient pathogens are currently trapped in permafrost which is now melting bit by bit each and every day..."
The unpredictable things people do are confounding.
Monster Among Us
"The Colombian serial killer Pedro Alonso Lopez, who is known as the Monster of the Andes, murdered over 300 girls from Ecuador, Peru and Colombia. However, after he was caught and imprisoned for 18 years, he was put in a psychiatric hospital. There he was reviewed, declared to be sane and was set free, in spite of his blatant avowal that he fully intends to kill again. Since he was released in 1998, nobody knows where he is or what he’s doing. ( He is supposed to be 71 years old at present).He is known for being the most prolific killer ever."
"Over 90% of Serial Killers choose their victims through sexual desire. In fact, many serial killers have been caught because they returned to the body of their victims to pleasure themselves."
"Rosemary Kennedy was JFK’s sister. She suffered from oxygen deprivation at birth and that unfortunately stunted her mental growth. She had a pretty decent childhood, but as she grew older she began to act out. Afraid that her behavior would risk his political career, her father, Joseph, agreed to have her lobotomized. Her mother, Rose, was against it and forbade him from doing it. So he did it behind her back when she went on a trip."
"After the operation, Rosemary’s already low IQ was lowered even further, to the point she could no longer walk or communicate. Her family had her locked up in an institution and basically disowned her. They never visited and never publicly acknowledged her anymore. Rosemary died at the age of 86. Her mother never forgave her husband for what he had done."
Preference For Flesh
"Remember that bath salts cannibal guy from a couple years back?"
"He wasn't high on bath salts when he did that. That was just media speculation and bullsh*t. They only found pot in his system during the autopsy."
"We still have no idea why he flipped out."
Consider this perspective.
What Separates Us From The Animals
"Humans eyes dont reflect light at night like animals do. I like to say this fact to my wife at a camp fire."
"Your eyes have a separate immune system from the rest of your body. If they get damaged in such a way that it affects anything other than your eyes, your regular immune system can attack the damage and will not recognise them, meaning your own body can permanently blind you."
"What's worse, your body cannot tell the difference between either eye. If one of them gets infected or damaged, your immune system can attack your healthy eye and take away your sight entirely."
I know for a fact that the creepiest thing in existence is the Island of the Dolls located in the channels of Xochimilco, Mexico.
It's an island where people have unceremonisouly hung dolls from the tree on the island.
No one really knows who and when it started. Legend has it the island's former occupant believed the dolls warded off spirits–including that of a girl who drowned in the waters near the island.
I won't be making a stop there on a river cruise anytime soon. Creepy.
People are often impressed by those who are multilingual–mainly because they can't imagine having the ability to communicate with others in different languages themselves.
Equally respected individuals are those who can play multiple musical instruments. Sure, playing the piano alone is impressive. But if a pianist can also play the bass and drums–essentially being their own one-person band–that is also a major wow factor.
So if you had the option to have the capacity for one or the other, which would it be?
That is the query Redditor MrJoelDude posed online, asking:
"Would you rather be the best at speaking every language or be the best at playing every instrument? Why?"
Things kicked off with wisecracks.
"does either skill require upkeep of any kind?"
"will these skills diminish if I don't keep them sharp?"
As In "Be Flat"
"No they will Bb."
"Pack it up folks the comment section has been won."
The Hits Keep Coming
"He's A natural."
"I C what you did there."
But, seriously, folks.
Here's what music lovers had to say.
An Introvert Responds
"Ooh, that's tough. Speaking every language would be so amazing, because you could communicate with literally anyone. You could talk to anyone on the whole planet, and I bet you could also get a fantastic, well-paid job with that skill."
"But I don't like people all that much. I'd find it much more personally satisfying to be able to be able to play any instrument. How amazing it would be, to be able to express myself with any instrument that exists. You could also be a musician and that would be way better for me than being an interpreter. So I'd have to go with that."
"As a professional translator with musical aspirations, this is one of the hardest questions for me. Obviously, the languages would make me the most useful person in the office and I'd be set for life, but being able to play every instrument has been a dream of mine since I was a kid and it would allow me to make all the music I've always wanted to but didn't know anyone with the right skills and interests."
"Instrument. I am scared of social interaction."
What Legends Are Made Of
"Also great to learn if you're highly social and want fans the world over. I don't think people realize the significance of this premise. You'd be the very best in the world at every musical instrument. Better than Hendrix, Page, Clapton, SRV, Chuck Berry, David Gilmour, Van Halen, Prince, Mark Knopfler etc. at the guitar."
"Better than Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin, Debussy, Thelonious Monk, Kieth Jarrett, Duke, Art Tatum, and every 9 year old prodigy ever at piano. Better than Miles at the trumpet and Coltrane at the sax. Better than Gene Krupa, Stewart Copeland, John Bonham, Danny Carey, Neil Peart, Buddy Rich, etc. at the drums. Better than Les Claypool, Jaco Pastorius, Mingus, Bootsy Collins, Wooten, Cliff Burton, Geddy Lee at the bass. All at the same time."
"You could easily make it as a studio or live session musician but if that musical ability came with a bit of songwriting/compositional talent/luck than you could release some of the greatest music ever. Nobody who has a legitimate discography of some of the greatest music ever remains a nobody for long—especially in the age of the internet."
"Obviously one could make an argument that songwriting ability matters far more than raw musicianship and that person would probably point to artists like The Beatles and Kurt Cobain who were far from the greatest musicians of their respective ages—or any age—but still managed to write timeless, classic, hit music, but raw musicianship can still go a long way in allowing one to manifest one's creativity."
The art of language spoke to these Redditors.
Hear Me Roar
"Speak every language. I’ve always wanted to speak T-Rex."
"Language. If it's every language, it means I could speak dead languages and translate some of the oldest texts in the world. That would be super cool."
"I am a world traveling professional musician. I can play a handful of instruments but I can only speak one language. To have access to a foreign language while abroad in say ,India where there many. Would be a super power. To sing to people in there own tounges everywhere I go would be a treasure to myself and my audience. The absolute hardest and most dangerous part about traveling the world is not knowing the language."
Would Be Outta This World
"Every language because I would dress like C-3PO and mess with people."
Because I love to travel, I would prefer the ability to speak multiple languages.
But either way, the ability to speak different languages or play different instruments are great options.
Since communication has the powerful potential to bring people from different backgrounds together–whether through the universal appeal of music or through common language–it could greatly benefit much of humanity.