Frustrated Workers Share The Jokes They're Sick Of Hearing About Their Professions
It feels like everybody fancies themselves a comedian. Everybody has a "witty" retort or barb they think is just the most original commentary since the Bible. And 10 times out of 10 people are wrong. You're not funny and your "humor" is tired. Especially when you're throwing humor at a person's daily career. If the joke is blatantly obvious then rest assured it's been said before.
Redditor _u/itsplanty wanted to know what some "laughs" people are tired of hearing by asking... What dumb joke do you hear too often because of your job? How more customer service people aren't arrested more often I'll never know.
OUR POST OFFICE PEOPLE SUFFER ENOUGH...
When I delivered mail: "you can keep the bills" or some other comment about not wanting the bills.
SHUT UP JOSH!
My boss' name is Josh, everyday he says, "I'm just Joshing ya!" Every. Day.
THAT'S A LOADED POSITION...
My title was literally "Package Handler."
I have a friend who is a _"Pipe Layer" _and another buddy who is a _"Load Handler"_ to many jokes.
I was unofficially titled the "fluffer" at my old job. I was really good at taking out the display Christmas trees and making them look all fluffy and pretty.
WATCH YOUR MOUTH!!
"Can you turn off the suck button"
Recording engineer. Haha, I get it, you're not a very good musician, now let's take it from the top because you're ignoring the click.
And the joke that the engineers always make is, "Yeah, that was ok, but this time maybe sing it like it's a record."
HAVE A NICE DAY!
When I'm taking money at the Drive Thru, WHICH WE ARE TIMED ON, BY THE WAY.
"Oh I already paid."
"No you didn't, it's still on the board. Did you pay with a card or something?"
"Also I didn't see anyone come over."
"Yeah, but I already paid, so you can just give it to me."
"No, I can't. Where's your receipt?"
Timer starts beeping. We get I think 120 seconds?
"Oh I didn't get it, but I paid."
"Dude. I know you didn't. Just break already."
"Haha, okay, you got me!"
Five cars behind him. 300 seconds on the timer, your food is cold, and I'm pissed.
"Have a good day, buddy!"
Don't waste my time.
Happens once a day.
SO FUNNY. NOT!
I'm a salesman who's name happens to be Jake.
I hear on a daily basis
"Oh you quit your job at State Farm? Why?"
"Why aren't you wearing khakis?"
I laugh along most times because I want the sale. But I'm always internally screaming. Don't get me started on my last name.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
When i worked Retail,
Me: "Can I get you anything else?" Customer: "Yea, a million dollars"
Now usually i just pulled the fake customer service laugh and let it go, but if it's a cute girl, I once said this...
"We sell mirrors on Aisle 7, I'm sure you'll find it there."
Teacher giving a test
"Any questions about the directions?"
"What's the answer to #1."
Wanna just walk out of the room sometimes.
Work in a morgue. "Oh people are just DYING to come see you!!" To which I respond _"Obviously. I'm delightful."I also was once asked how things were going in the morgue and I replied "Lively"as it was pretty busy that day. They thought it was so hilarious and now 2 years later they won't let me forget that I referred to a morgue as _"lively" one time.
My name's Michael and I worked at Michaels. No I'm not the CEO.
HERE'S THE BILL!
When you're clearing someone's empty plate and ask if they liked their meal. "Oh, no, I hated it!"
Can't believe this hasn't been mentioned yet. I used to hear it literally 10x a day when I was working in restaurants.
I'm an operator in a power plant.
"Oh my God are you Homer Simpson lololololololololol! Do you want a donut hahahaha!"
IT'S A SURPRISE.
Some guy during his abdominal ultrasound: "so is it a boy or a girl??"
cue fake laugh and internal eye roll
I'LL SHOW YOU A GAME...
Preschool teacher (in sweden).
"Must be nice to just play all day long, right? Hahaha!"
Let's put it this way. You and your SO are sitting in an apartment with 2 bedrooms. Suddenly someone opens the door and 18 screaming three year olds comes running in. Two adults in a small area with 18 children.. How much playing do you think you have time for?
OH KAREN... DROP DEAD.
"Oh look! You're both wearing blue shirts! I guess I didn't get the blue shirt memo!" Oh, Karen. You're hilarious. Go away and stay there.
ACTUALLY IT'S EXTRA...
If something doesn't scan at the register "that means it's free, right?"
OH NATIONWIDE... :(
I've had an influx of people moving their insurance from other carriers and they always try to make some witty response about how the company they are with weren't working out for them. For example, if they had Nationwide, I swear to god every single one of them says "Nationwide wasn't on MY side!" Or if they had Progressive, they say something about how Flo didn't use her price checker tool for them or with Allstate they would say they weren't in good hands. (These are just examples)
In reality, though, your prices were increased because you're a shitty driver and think you're entitled to lower rates when you have 3 pages worth of MVR violations.
WE WILL ROCK YOU!
We engrave stones here at the shop and the number of times I've heard "You guys rock!" or "Hey, it's not like it's etched in stone or anything?", or my personal favorite _"You've spelled it wrong." are mind boggling. The first two are fine, the last one isn't great because it fills me with dread and panic until they say _"Ha! Just kidding!"
DON'T BE A DATELINE EPISODE...
Estate Planning legal assistant here.
"Are you here of your own free will?" points to wife "No she made me do this"
HOW ABOUT I TAKE AWAY ZEROES?
"Can you add a couple of zeroes to this?" I'm a payroll accountant, I do all the paychecks for my company.
It wasn't funny the first time. It's remained not funny for seven years.