Papaioannou Kostas/Unsplash

Moment of honesty: some connections are just NOT worth it.

Friends are in your life for 'a reason, a season, or a time' ... and some of you should have called time a whiiiiiile ago.


Reddit user 'Jojosiwasbadussy' asked:

"Hey people of Reddit what was the 'hell nah I'm out' moment in a new friend group?"

A good chunk of us will read through these answers and see situations we recognize. Some of us will see situations we tolerated, or made a different choice in.

We're going to talk about your experiences at the end, first it's time for Reddit to get all red-flaggy.

Everyone But

"They started a second group chat called 'everyone but percy1614' when I couldn't hang out ONE TIME, which became the new group chat."

"I found out when one of them said something like: 'Oh my god, the group chat's blowing up!'

" And I was confused because it was silent, so I responded: 'No, it's not. What are you talking about?' "

"At that point, I think it had existed for about three months."

"I wish I was angrier, but honestly, I was just sad."

- percy1614

"Ah man that hits close to home."

"I had a group of friends in college I thought were like family to me. Stayed with them 3 years."

"Then, one of them got married. At the wedding they called for a family picture and when I walked over they asked me to TAKE the photo, not be IN the photo."

"That really f*cked me up for a long time and I still have trust issues years later because of it."

"Shortly after, I learned of all the stuff I wasn't invited to like weekly dinners, camping trips, etc. Realized that I was always the one initiating."

"Stopped talking to them cold turkey. What hurt most is they never reached out to ask where I was or why I never hung out with them anymore."

"Luckily that breakup led to me meeting some actually good friends who I'm still very close with 10 years later."

- Misdirected_Colors

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Unhygienic Thieves

"I made friends with some girls in the first couple weeks of university."

"We hung out a lot at first. Then I sat in on a conversation of them talking about how they'd been sharing a toothbrush between them for weeks (there was 3 of them) - they were arguing about whose it actually was."

"That kinda put me off them because ew, but the nail in the coffin was when I found out they were all kleptomaniacs- all of them LOVED stealing and would have competitions to see who could steal the most when we went to the mall... no thanks!"

"Unhygienic thieves? I'll pass."

"I ghosted them completely"

- Susuwatari0

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The Narcos

"My ex friends claimed to be narcos from Mexico. They were underage, had guns illegally, and they lied so much it was just cringy."

"Anyway, one day I invited them to my mom's birthday and they were a disaster. They kept acting hard and tough, saying I was soft."

"They pointed a gun at me so I could become 'harder' and be 'one of them.' "

"They were treating the gun like a BB gun and acting like little kids that were playing war with each other. Those guys were plain ridiculous and really dangerous, just not in the way they thought."

"I was like yup I'm done."

- Affectionate_Pop5239

"Yeah no. I socialize with several actual narcos, and if there is one thing they would never do it is disrespect a mom's birthday like that."

"Hell no. You don't f*ck around with Mexican moms."

"Sounds like you were friends with a bunch of sh*tkids. Good they are not down in Mexico, they would be told/made to stop pretty quickly."

- Wooden_Researcher_36

"Mexican moms have chanclas faster and more accurate than any bullet"

- kai325d

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Out Loud

"Hanging out with an old friend and her group of friends. Nobody I had met before besides her."

"She left before we all went to one of their apartments to keep the party going. Dude's roommate comes home and he's obviously a bit imbalanced, which the other occupant had sorta warned us about."

"Starts yelling, being grouchy that people were over. We weren't even loud at all, just chilling and having a drink and chatting."

"At one point he punches a wall, and we were all just sitting there kinda stunned."

"At that moment I realized -and said out loud- 'Oh wow...no one here knows my name.' "

"So I just got up and left. Walked like 10 miles back home in the middle of the night."

"Heard later the cops got called for sound complaints and domestic abuse concerns. Happy to have dodged that whole scene."

"There has been more than one party where I saw some drama brewing (scandalous makeouts, friend drama, some folk way too high or drunk and getting out of hand, etc) and literally said out loud 'bail' and just left."

"Never regretted it."

- Dangercakes13

"I was recently at a party as an adult with other adults."

"A pushing match broke out and was moving towards me. I just said, 'this would be a bad thing for me' out loud and walked to the other side of the room."

- Chazzybobo

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Bill Murray

"I'm into films and was invited to an Oscar party."

"I've never been to an Oscar party and I was looking forward to having a stimulating dialogue with other avid film lovers. Instead everyone got crazy drunk."

"When Sean Penn won, this girl started screaming like her team just won the super bowl."

"When the camera cut to Bill Murray she said: 'F*ck You Bill Murray you talentless f*ck!' and then a group of people chanted 'f*ck Bill Murray.' "

"I said, 'I don't get it? I think Bill Murray's a great actor and did a great job in 'Lost in Translation.' "

"Same drunk girl got in my face 'HAVE YOU SEEN 'MYSTERY RIVER'? HAVE YOU SEEEEEN 'MYSTERY RIVER'?!!!!"

"I said no, that I had not seen 'Mystery River' then she said 'Then what the fuck do you know?!' "

"I replied 'I know enough to know the movie is called 'Mystic River.' "

"and then she came after me."

"I don't do Oscar parties anymore."

- shaka_sulu

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No D.D. For You

"When we met at my house to go to a bar, and one of their friends I had only met a few times was pregaming with the remnants of some kind of liquor."

"We headed to the car to go out and he whipped the bottle down my street shattering it all over the corner and sidewalk where people walk and play daily."

"A couple neighbors having a bonfire in their backyard heard the shatter and came over to make sure everything was okay."

"I stopped in my tracks, said 'what the f*ck?' and went to grab a broom and dustpan. He refused to clean it up and the mutual friends said I was blowing it out of proportion and should just leave it."

"I cleaned it up and told them to have a good night without me. I was going to be the DD since they had already all been drinking, but I had no desire to put up with this behavior for the rest of the night."

"Especially if this was how he was and he wasn't even really drunk yet."

"Guy thought since his daddy owned a dealership and was loaded he could do whatever he wanted."

"I went back in the house. F*ck people like that."

- EnigmaGuy

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Stealing From The Homeless

"Back in my university student days I had the hots for this 'bad girl' type chick for the longest time, despite all the warnings my friends gave me."

"When I finally ended up getting with her, I realized she wasn't just a 'bad girl,' she was MEAN. AS. HELL."

"The last straw was when I saw her from afar approach a blind beggar that used to frequent the campus area and everyone and their mother knew for years, pretty likeable fella."

"Instead of giving him money, she went and grabbed the money he had gathered for the day and took it for herself."

"Thankfully someone else caught her in the moment and called her out on it and it became this massive deal where everyone, including myself, basically shamed her into giving the money back to the poor dude."

"That was my 'f*ck this, I'm out' moment. I just couldn't associate myself with her or treat her with any semblance of respect anymore. She just outright stopped being human in my head."

"The worst part was her badmouthing me behind my back later on telling anyone who would lend an ear to her that I was a limpd*ck because I 'didn't support her on her moment of need.' "

"HER need. Not the beggars need. HERS. F*cking twat."

- Yisuscrais69

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Too Many Gangster Movies, Not Enough Common Sense

"Out of high school my childhood friends started getting more and more involved with organized crime. They were low on the totem pole trying to 'break into the scene.' "

"They plotted to rob a store to advance their 'standing' and the plan was just ridiculously stupid."

"They asked me to be a look out. I would have never ever gone through with it and the fact they wanted to rob something is what made me decide to leave my group of child hood friends forever."

"The stupidity of the plan was the cherry on top."

" 'You guys spent all night planning and decided the best way to do it is to drive a van through the front window and grab what you can?! And your insurance plan of not getting caught is for me to hide out in my car down the street and look for police???' "

" 'Ya I'm out lol. But like out out. Like out forever. Later' "

"Too many gangster movies, not enough common sense."

"Inner city Italian kids. Each one of them has a drug problem, a few of them have gone to jail, luckily nobody is dead."

"I'm 39 now. By far the greatest decision I made was realizing I grew out of these friends and moving on with my life at the age of 21."

"I own property, I'm high up in my career, newly single and quite literally living my best days."

"If those were their best days I pity them."

- Vivid82

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Parenthood

"When I got pregnant and they ghosted me."

"Then 3 months later they popped up and asked if they could bring their friend to stay at my house because she's never been to Hawaii, where I lived."

"Like HELL NO. You guys just want a cheap trip to Hawaii, I'm not going to let you come stay with me when you haven't talked to me in months!"

- Fragrant_One_6445

"Big relate on the getting pregnant and then being ghosted."

"I had one girl who was supposedly my 'best friend' hit me up for the first time in like a year for a ride not long after my son was born."

"I was lonely, so even though I was basically just a taxi I was like sure!"

"She talked non stop from A to B and then my son started to fuss in the back seat in his car seat."

"She turned UP the radio to drown out his noise and shouted over the radio that when I come back to give her a ride home I should just not bring him."

"I turned off the radio, called her a b*tch, and told her to get an Uber home."

"We never spoke again."

- Alohamora95

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Sudden Aggressive Racism

"I lived in the US for about three years as a kid, before my family and I moved back to Denmark. Went back to the US on a vacation with my family a couple years later, and I made plans to visit and old childhood friend."

"We used to be really close, like inseparable. Hung out several times a week after school. He was a really friendly, kind and funny kid."

"He brings me to hang out and have a few drinks with some of his friends (people I'd never met before). Starts off a perfectly normal and pleasant night. Mostly people were just asking me questions about myself and my life in Denmark. Seemed like a friendly group of folks..."

"... Until one guy made a remark akin to 'Must be nice to live in a country without so many f*cking n*****s ruining everything.' "

"I've never seen so many people switch so quickly and aggressively from normal conversation topics, to going on a collective full on, hard core racist, white-supremacy tangent."

"It was instantaneous and unanimous. There was not a single person there who wasn't incredibly eager to contribute to the cascade of racial epithets, stereotypes and ignorant hate-remarks being thrown out at a staggering velocity."

"They quickly started bragging about incredibly f*cked up stuff. Apparently most of them had at least one prior or pending assault charge for beating up a black person."

"I just stood there in shock for a while, not having the slightest clue what to do with myself. I was deathly afraid that if I gave them the slightest clue that I wasn't in complete and total agreement with their viewpoints I might very well be assaulted for being a 'n***** lover.' "

"Luckily, they had distracted themselves enough by getting into what I assume was their normal conversational rhythm, that they almost entirely forget to include me in the conversation."

"That means they didn't notice that I retreated into the background, pulled out my phone and texted my dad to come pick me up 'immediately!' "

"As soon as my dad texted me back he was outside, I quickly but quietly left without a word. Once outside I ran to the car as fast as I could, got in and told him to drive NOW."

"Funnily enough, I haven't spoken to that childhood friend since."

- DeadPendulum

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Yahoo

"Not a friend group, but I met this one guy a while back in a yahoo group, who was initially pretty cool."

"We became friends after a while, and one day he was like 'You wanna see something?' so I was like 'sure!' "

"And he showed me one of those hidden links. (Those links that you enter into a website to get a condensed link that hides where the site is). It leads to a download thing. So I download it an open it."

"Turns out it was a link to some child porn download hub."

"I noped the f*ck out of there, reported the guy to yahoo, and scrubbed the sh*t out of my computer with every antivirus, anti-malware, computer cleaner I could find. I was extremely paranoid about yahoo chat for a while after that XD"

- darkninja0200

Block GIF by Debby Ryan Giphy

Disability Is Boring?

"When my long time friend told me she couldn't go along to an important medical appointment with me, which we'd organized months in advance. This was fine because I thought it was work related."

"Turns out she went on holiday with a friend."

"When I asked her after she said it's not as fun to hang out with me because I'm disabled. Obvs she said 'no offense' before hand so I guess that's all patched up now?"

"She moved out for a new job and hearing my flat-mates complain about her being rude to them I had that aha moment, that I wasn't the bad friend, it was her."

- essiej98

Team Usa Paralympics Sport GIF by Team USA Giphy

Award-Winning

"I was invited to a Christmas party that was being hosted by some friends of a friend."

"They had two massively overweight Spaniels, and they went on and on bragging about how one of them was an award-winning show dog."

"This dog looked like it hadn't been groomed in over a year, it's nails were crazy long, and had some of the bulgiest eyes I've seen on the breed. It clearly wasn't being cared for."

"Never hung out with them again. I figured if they couldn't be bother to do basic care on an 'award-winning' dog, they weren't worth being friends with."

- ThePluckiestDuck

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Every Time We Drink

"At a house party and one of the girls gets sloppy drunk and starts arguing with her dude who was just playing beer pong with other dudes in the group, fine whatever."

"She escalated it so much that there was now a crowd trying to calm them both down. At this point she's crying, yelling, shoving at him and he's just leaning against a counter not saying anything, hand on a cup the other in his pocket."

"Things calmed back down as fast as they started up, and everyone just got back to playing. But she got hysterical again claiming that her dude hit her."

"Except he hadn't moved. He was still leaning against this counter in the same position looking completely done with the night."

"Half the crowd that saw him do nothing and heard him say nothing to her."

"It took like 3-4 of this girl's friends to pull her away from getting in his face again and comfort her because she started yelling about all their inner relationship problems. I asked why they comforted her if she was obviously the one in the wrong."

"Simply put, they responded like 'this is just what she does every time we drink.' When I asked why they still feed her drinks, it was like deer in headlights."

"Just nope."

- papsinchaps

drunk GIF Giphy

"House B*tch"

"About 20 years ago I started to hang out with other dads."

"We would get some beers and bullsh*t around. Then I noticed they really talked negatively about their wives."

"One common term was 'house b*tch'."

"I decided there was no need to hang out with these guys. I cannot ever see myself using the words they used to describe their wives."

- toad__warrior

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Gingivitis

"In high school I worshipped these heavy metal kids who were like 22 at the time. Tried for years to get into their friend group."

"I finally get invited to a party and this dude, Gary, immediately throws a glass liquor bottle across the room and nails this girl in the mouth. She's bleeding like crazy."

"Nobody helped her and no sh*t, she looks right up and say 'it's ok I have really bad gingivitis.' "

"I left immediately."

- Gilbert_Sanchez

Im Out Shark Tank GIF by ABC Network Giphy

Uncomfortable

"I remember back in middle school there was this girl that would follow me everywhere. She personally made me uncomfortable, and I signaled it. She didn't exactly get the sign."

"I didn't want to outright tell her but it seemed to be the only way. One day, I told her on Discord, and then she didn't seem to care about anything I said. I saw this as very disrespectful and tried avoiding her for a few days."

"Eventually we start talking again and she adds me to a group chat without my consent."

"I take a look at the chat, and it was filled to the brim with horrible people making horrible comments. They were talking about having sex in the school bathroom and how to use condoms."

"I immediately went to complain to her in the direct messages, and she said that they were kidding. So I stayed, but then she started joining in to 'roleplay.' Yeah. Like, furry roleplay."

"I left the group chat shortly after, and then I blocked her. She then harassed me so much at school that I had to tell school administrators. Well, there went her dream to be student council president."

- TemperatureLegal8400

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Everyone Keeps Overdosing

"Had just started a job at a warehouse. His told me that the last six workers had Overdosed, two dead and one in a coma."

"Started hanging out with co-workers, they were really sweet and for once. I felt like I belonged!"

"As an anti social and introverted person, that meant a lot to me. Fast forward to a month and a half and I'm invited to a party. I'm thinking it's going to be a nice dance party."

"Nope. Every worker, my supervisor AND boss were snorting lines of cocaine laced with fentanyl!"

"I'm like what the f*ck, that's why everyone is ODing!"

"I quit the job and blocked everyone's numbers that night."

- SteveRogersAss

Season 3 Nbc GIF by The Office Giphy

Not A Prank

"Seeing one of them putting something in my drink while I was away, while the others were smiling like idiots."

"I just knew one of them who brought me, and he was sitting with them. I don't have any idea what it was that they put into my glass."

"I never asked. Instead, I called a cab, got my jacket, and left without returning to their table."

"Never met the dude again after that evening. He wasn't a close friend after all."

"I have to mention I'm a dude, so they probably just tried to prank me rather than hurt me. Didn't matter for me."

"You don't do this to someone you just met."

- myhamsterisajerk

Not Funny GIF by VH1 Giphy

Now that you've read through the Reddit Red Flag parade, it's your turn to share.

Tell us about those "OMFGNOPE" moments where you realized a friendship or connection just wasn't worth it.

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