People Who Have Ghosted Someone They Love Defend Their Decision To Cut Ties
Gotta go, gotta go.... gotta go right now!
Ghosting is now the latest and hottest trend in our vapid social culture. Instead of telling someone to their face.... "I'm over you", "This doesn't work!", "I Hate You!" We just slink away into the shadows and leave others wondering if we've fallen off the Earth. Now it maybe necessary when escaping crazy but it often leaves too many doors open. You never know when you'll see them by sheer chance. Awkward!
Redditor u/infiniteplusultra wanted to hear how anybody could justify the silent peace out ways people are leaving certain relations with others by asking..... [Serious] If you have ghosted a loved one, a friend, a significant other, or anybody, why did you do it?
I ghosted my best friend at the time. For some reason she started acting all weird in senior year (she'd go weeks without talking to me or getting mad at me for minor things), finally at our graduation she talked to me and basically told me that she was not going to be my friend anymore because she believed that high school friendships had to end in order to "mature" as a person. Anyway, I was sad and frustrated because I couldn't do anything about it.
About 3 months pass and she sends me a text saying that she misses me and that what she said was a mistake. We started hanging out again and then she'd start acting weird again, then would go on and end our friendship again, that happened about 5 more times, until I just decided to stop replying to her texts.
Last time she texted me was about 2 months ago, in a long ass paragraph she asked if I missed her. I replied with a very short and cold text, told her that I didn't and was living a fairly enjoyable life without her in it. I realize that it might sound harsh, specially because she still tries to be friends again, but really... I was always there for her, she hurt me many times with the stuff she said and did, and even so I'd go back to her, trying to keep our friendship. At some point I just had enough and stopped caring for her. I don't resent her for it, just hope she can find a way to "mature" and be a better person. TheDeer6277
A Bad Friend.
A gay friend of mine was very pushy and demanding of pictures (nudes, shirtless, etc.) of me. It got to the point that i told him i was uncomfortable with it and requested he stop. He sent a massive tirade of how him being attracted to me was just how he was and implied that i was somehow being both a bad friend AND homophobic for not being flattered at his attention. I stopped talking to him altogether. Sucks because i miss my friend, I hope he is doing well, and i wish him the best, but boundaries have to be respected. damndingashrubbery
I ghosted my ex bf bc he was manipulating me for a long time and when i called him out he victimized himself and i was sick of it so i blocked him. pastel11037
The only person I ever cut contact with was my step father. He was a nasty drunk who liked to beat me up, held a gun to my head one time, just a generally sad sad man. I was 12 or so when the beatings started, 15 when the gun thing happened. I moved out at 17 and put myself through college. I'm a teacher now.
I just figured we were both better off without the other. I saw him twice in the last 25 years of his life. Once, I got to my moms house early and he accidentally met my then 1 year old son. That sucked. A couple of years later I had to find him at his apartment because my sister had an accident and was in the hospital. My mom separated from him when I was 20 but she kept trying to help him.
She told me that she didn't want him to die and leave her wondering if she could have done more, which I guess is noble. She couldn't leave him when he was awful to me bc she had little kids and no means of support. She left when he started in with my brother, so she knew it wasn't me, it was him.
When he died (prob of alcohol withdrawal) I wound up pretty much making all of his funeral arrangements. I did it for my siblings, who were his children, and who were wrecked.
So I cut him out to protect myself. I'm almost 50 now and I feel sorrier for him than ever. Chickiepie
Not Another Minute.Giphy
Attended their birthday dinner, their partner was repeatedly horrible to me whenever their back was turned.
Knowing it would my word against the boyfriends and we were not super close friends, I just faded away. I really don't want to spend another minute with their boyfriend or listen to then go on about them. Terryfoldyholds
A girl who I considered my best friend for four years got a DUI and lost her license, and couldn't get a work permit. I gave her rides to and from work for six months, while I was working overnights and going to school full time, so I was loosing a LOT of sleep because of it. It was about 45 minutes to an hour round trip depending on traffic.
I never asked for payment of any kind, and she never offered any. I even bought her Uber's home from the bars when we would go out, because she would regularly get far too intoxicated to function. When she finally got her license back, she basically acted like I didn't really exist anymore. She got a whole bunch of new friends and stopped inviting me places, and would only occasionally text/Snapchat me back.
I ghosted her then (trying to beat her to it I guess) but a few months later tried to rekindle it. Then she tried to screw my boyfriend (whilst very drunk) so I called it quits completely and blocked her on everything. It hurt a lot, and honestly still messes me up a year later. merfrogggg
My girlfriend off 6 years, she went away on army basic training. No contact for 63 days, I wrote letters and messaged her everyday so she wouldn't miss anything when she got back.
She got back. She was distant. Her cousin told me she was cheating and met someone else.
I just send her a text saying 'Don't contact me ever again, best wishes for the future. Love Unhappyspark'. unhappyspark
Too Much Drama.
She started dealing heroin out of her house and kept asking me to steal stuff from the veterinary hospital I worked at. I ghosted her and never looked back. Her and her mother blew up my phone for a while telling me what a huge piece of crap I am but I was afraid of her and I was a huge coward. Probably not the best way to handle the situation but also, heroin. FelixFelicis
It started with them claiming that they forget to check their social media often. After that, they admitted they were not telling the truth and that they were going through a bad time. After that, they continued to ghost me and admitted they were avoiding me for whatever reason. This carried on for six months, all the meanwhile claiming they were incredibly invested in the "friendship".
Even if they were not a malicious person, well, they certainly weren't ready for any kind of friendship. *Shrugs* SagetheWise2222
I've ghosted a few people and its because I consider myself a toxic person. Like I have so many issues that I don't want anyone to know about or be involved with so I cut them out of my life and run away. I tell myself they're better off not knowing or interacting with me but its probably because I don't know how to communicate things in a healthy manner. Maruchan7
Quit the Cycle.
They moved away and became a bit of a mess. They'd only contact me about dramatic crap and I got tired of constantly offering advice only for it to be ignored, which would lead to me having to offer even more advice.
Its all well and good being a supportive friend and some people make you feel guilty for abandoning a friend you're supporting.
It Just Happened.Giphy
I wanted to reply but didn't have the energy, then time passed and passed and passed and I was feeling anxious and ashamed to reply to something that was sent two weeks ago, so I just let it be. Flytrappy
But at the end of the day, you're a human being too with a life to live and if the other person is literally just using you to make themselves feel better then that's draining.
I made contact again last year and it took about 5 minutes for the cycle to start again, so I cut it off quickly (I'm a lot more confident than I used to be) and drew a line under it. pyromanta
Because they were abusive. You can't reason with abusive people. It's safer to cut all contact. Transplanted_Cactus
100% relatable. I agree it's usually better to discuss problems you're having in any kind of relationship, but with abusive ones there's nothing to do.
Anything you say will be used against you, literally. It's a never ending circle. Sometimes it's better to protect yourself and just leave - they wouldn't understand anyway. Physical-Echidna
Working on It.
Just throwing this out there. I travel for work. My trips can be from 1-3 weeks long. A few times I've forgotten my personal phone at home. Then I get back and have all the stuff I missed locally to catch up on. I can straight up disappear from the digital grid for a month if I'm not careful.
This ruined a few relationships I had with people, but those who understood that it wasn't personal stayed around. When I'm back, things pick up like I never left. Act like you care enough that time apart means very little, or that you miss them and it'll all be good. TheJackalsDoom
2 Way Street.Giphy
Realized I was always the one initiating hanging out so I just stopped texting them to see if they'd ever ask me to hang, haven't heard from them since. theitalianrob
Over & Out!
We would make plans to go out. I'd be ready to go and she would leave me waiting. I'd start calling and texting her asking where she is, but never receive an answer. I'd say forget it and go out with other friends anyway, only to run in to her hanging out with other people who I guess she thought were more important. I don't need fickle people like that in my life.
Also ghosted my core group of girl friends because I found out one of them had been spreading vicious lies about me while pretending to be my friend to my face. The others chose her. So I peaced out. It hurt like hell but my life is so much better and calmer now. pinkgallo
"Hey what's up?"
We went through bad breakups weeks apart and helped each other kind of piece things back together.
He got married after dating a girl for less than 8 months and thinking about breaking up with her a month in. Shortly after their wedding we talked less. They had a kid and I was the first person not in their family to meet the baby. We talked even less which I get kids keep you busy. Then he stopped texting me at all, then when we worked for the same company would try to walk right past me and avoid me.
That was my breaking point where I decided to just never initiate conversation again.
Ran into him a month or so ago, got the least sincere "Hey what's up" ever. We haven't spoken in over 3 years at this point and dude couldn't even give me a legitimate greeting or even "How've you been?" Just like "Hey what's up. Cool" then walked away without even saying see you later.
No idea why or what I did, but pretty much decided he can screw off. MrPureinstinct
I ghosted a friend last year. I was going through a rough patch in my life and I didn't have the energy to interact with someone like her (she was very talkative, outgoing, and constantly wanted to hang out). Looking back on it, I regret it a lot. She was still very nice and caring, and it's not like it was her fault that I wasn't doing too well. I've thought of reaching out to her again, but I'm not sure how she feels about the whole ordeal now. curtaincallz
7 Years On....
Not proud of it, but my father. He had a mental breakdown after my mom passed and after several attempts to get him help including offers to pay for therapy, going with him to therapy, Baker Acting him, spending 5 years of no contact then finding him and moving him to the city I was living in & trying again from square one, I finally gave him an ultimatum-seek help and we will work on this father-child relationship or go about your life without me.
It's been 7 years or so & I have kept him out of my life as much as possible. We were never close but he is a good person. I wish him well and hope he is happy, healthy and safe. I have no siblings or grandparents. I guess you don't know what you're missing if you never experienced it. All that being said, it has had a giant influence on me being child free. buickbeast
I ghost toxic people. It's just easier than explaining to them that you hate them as a person. realsies11
- People Break Down Exactly Why They Permanently Ghosted A Friend - George Takei ›
- People Explain Why They Cut All Ties With Their Group Of Friends - George Takei ›
- People Share The Real Reason They Cut All Ties With A Friend - George Takei ›
- People Divulge Which Things Some Folks Fervently Defend That Don't Seem Worth Their Time - George Takei ›
Until we're in a situation, we'll never really know how we'll react.
I have been in this scenario, though.
Sex matters. And people rarely want to admit how much.
But sex isn't a lifetime guarantee.
It fades, as does love.
It's important to speak about it.
It can be a fixable situation.
A relationship without sex may not be the end of the world, but it's definitely a sign that something is off.
Redditor Deviant55 wanted to talk about physical intimacy in relationships, so they asked:
"How important is sex to you in a relationship? Could you be with someone you love even if sex was off the table indefinitely?"
I learned how much sex matters in my last relationship.
Once I wasn't interested, it kind of killed everything.
ForeverGIF by moodmanGiphy
"When my wife of 30+ years became too ill for sex to be even remotely interesting for her, I certainly did not end the relationship. I loved her and I took care of her until she died. No other course even occurred to me."
"When I met my wife we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. This lasted a few years. I was in my mid-twenties when we married. She developed a chronic medical issue. I’ve gone twenty years being sexually frustrated. There are stages and phases to this."
"What I came to realize is that I love my wife. Yes, sex is important in our relationship. But I would rather have her in my life with no sex than have sex without her."
"The thing is, I love her. She can’t help her situation. I can’t help it. One deals with it. Marriage is more than sex. It is building a life and memories, raising a family, and loving each other regardless of the challenges life throws our way. But sex is very important. It helps keep the closeness and the emotional bond. But it isn’t the only thing that does that."
I Love Her
"It is complicated. I am in a near-sexless marriage. The wife needs antidepressants to function. And it kills her libido. So usually it is four to six times a year. My libido rages. And yeah, it sucks. I dream of more sex."
"But I love the chick. She loves me to the moon and back. I’m not willing to sacrifice her love so I can try dating again. Divorce rates these days? And I found a woman who more than tolerates me, she loves me. I’ll stay. And not to be crude but yeah I masturbate. A lot. She doesn’t begrudge me that. Occasionally she even encourages it."
"She went off her meds for a while. And man did we do it. But she was a mess. I need her healthy more than I need a shag. We travel together. We enjoy each other’s company. We actually like each other. I could claim that it is hell, but I choose to see all of the good I am blessed with."
"Quite important. But I think it depends on where you are in the relationship. I've been married for 10 years. I have kids. If my wife suddenly couldn't have sex with me for some reason -- illness or injury or something -- I'm not divorcing her over it. That's heartless."
"Now, if she just decided we weren't ever having sex again because she didn't feel like it, that'd be different. Or if I was just starting to date someone and they told me they'd never have sex, I probably just wouldn't keep pursuing the relationship. Plenty of people out there who will."
"It depends on the circumstances. I LOVE doing it with my man but I love his heart and soul more. If we had to stop having sex for medical reasons or something I’d definitely stay with him and stay faithful. If I was single, I think it’s unlikely I’d start a new relationship knowing it would be sex free."
Heart and soul is just as necessary and hot and sweaty.
At least a lot of people recognize that.
"Sex life is 10% of a relationship when it’s good and 90% of a relationship when it’s bad."
"The other way I've heard it put is that sex is like the bathroom in your house. It's not the only reason you bought the house, but if it's not working it's a big problem."
"50-year-old here married for 27 years. It’s not important. It was important when we were younger but honestly, if sex wasn’t possible I would still love my wife and really nothing about our day would really change."
"I’ve been reading these comments and wishing that everyone’s age was flared on their post because I sense that there are a lot of under-60-year-olds. I am older than my wife but she is starting menopause and I can see the writing on the wall. Not super thrilled but I love her completely and understand. The real intimacy is in how we still (and will always) want to sleep touching each other and waking up next to each other."
"I honestly considered this before. I absolutely adored this guy. It was like a child relationship; we'd kiss and cuddle and hold hands and things, but he wouldn't have sex with me, nor would he commit properly. Any time we came close to sex, he'd go soft or back off."
"I couldn't understand it, wondered if I could keep doing that. My sex drive was wild. Why kiss and the rest but not sex?"
"Then one day he told me he was in love with me and asked me out properly. I said yes there and then, had a wonderful day with him, but when I went home, I was left questioning if I could possibly live without sex. I decided that yeah, I loved him but it would be tough."
"We had sex the next day. So yes, I think I probably could."
"It's very important. I'm a very affectionate and physical person and touch/caresses and anything physical is one of my love languages. I couldn't function with someone who is the opposite of me or who's uncomfortable with how I am. I already was in a relationship with someone who wasn't that touchy/affectionate and it created frustration for both of us."
Don't Look at Me
"I am in a sexless relationship. He has erectile dysfunction and I really don't like sex in general. I'm really uncomfortable naked or even vulnerable. I'm shy around him despite the relationship being 10 years nearly, I'm even shy around my family and friends. Everything about sex makes me feel so embarrassed, and I feel nothing but negative feelings when I used to be sexually active. Not through choice of partner, I just hate that sort of attention."
Definitive!Shake Handshake GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"10/10. Sexual incompatibility is a deal breaker!"
Sex is important but not everything.
Until it is everything if it becomes an issue.
Good luck couples. Open and honest communication is key.
People Share The Moment They Realized Their Friends Were Actually A-Holes
An important contributor to our overall health and happiness is the quality of our friendships.
We may not have a lot of friends, but the more important factor is the depth of those relationships.
But we've all had one of those friends who turned out not to be a very good friend at all.
Redditor Both-Support-7110 asked:
"When did you realize your 'friends' were just a**holes?"
Putting Them Down
"After I realized that other people don't s**t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."
"I luckily made a couple of friends that would just be supportive about stuff. So I slowly started talking to them more than my older friends as I saw the disparity between their responses."
"One side purely would be purely judgmental and try and bring me down, and the other would just be excited for me or be there to listen or whatever. Who wants to talk to the former when you have the latter?"
Using Them as a Convenience
"They only bothered with me when it suited them. I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."
Trying to Keep Them Small
"When they were nice at first but then cut me out of conversations, telling me not to 'butt in.' A friend doesn't dictate when you're allowed to speak."
"Total a**hole move to have conversations in front of you only to tell you it doesn’t concern you and mean it. . . Like making plans and giving details about how someone like you could be included but specifically telling you not to invite yourself; making plans in front of someone and not inviting them is awful."
Using Them as Entertainment
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions (telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc), and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly. One night, I was crying on the phone because I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bulls**t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day, they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call because I didn't get it and I was so upset. I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."
Using Them to Feel Superior
"I didn't have many friends in grade school, but the times the kids actually gave me the time of day, it was to make me 'it' when we'd play tag. That's what I was there for. To continuously be 'it' so they could run away and feel superior. Because they knew I would agree to it no matter what."
Having Questionable Morals
"I had a friend that was a very promiscuous girl, I had no issue with that, until I found out she was using me and my innocent personality then, to distract her mom and make her think she was like me."
"Then she used my house as a literal hotel once, with my family here and everything... I knew that was it."
Making Fun of Them
"When I made new friends and realized that it's not normal for friends to constantly beat on me and make fun of me."
Prioritizing Money Over Them
"When they stopped being my friends after I went through a rough financial patch."
"I had a group that I was in from 2019-2021. They became a**holes over time, and it took me longer to see that. It was when I failed my psych 101 class (I'm not the best with online classes and tried the best I could) and when they heard about that, they laughed to my face, called me stupid and a failure."
"Early 2022, I met up with them again thinking it would just be a 'listen to this concert for someone we all know and go on our ways' thing."
"My one closer friend offered to drive me and I accepted, and then afterward she joined the group, made eye contact after the concert was done and said, 'bye,' and left with them to the doors. They doubled back and said, 'You can come with us to another town to a friend's place or I can get my mom to drive you home.'"
"I was so overwhelmed and embarrassed that I just went with them to the other town. I called my brother to come to pick me up after an hour, and when he was on his way out, everyone else left. Haven't been into contact with them again after that."
Disappearing When It Counts
"They pretty much abandoned me in a time of pretty intense need. It solidified my decision to leave the area and go do something worthwhile."
No Reciprocation Allowed
"When he does s**t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, but then I do the same back, and he gets offended."
Excluding Them From Plans
"I've got two examples here. One from childhood and one from adulthood. Pick your favorite."
"Childhood: Kid I knew when I was 8 or so. We used to hang out a lot of the time and often played together, doing the usual kid stuff. Then one day, he has to move away because of a change in his parent's financial situation and I was pretty bummed out about it."
"On the last day we were supposed to see each other, he hung out with someone else instead and when tried to join them, he physically shoved me away and told me I wasn't welcome. That one stung."
"Adulthood: When they keep telling me about plans they made and things they did together or wanted to do together, but never bother to invite or include me in any of it. There's one of them I get along with and he'll invite me to things as long as it's just with him, but when he's with the group, he excludes me."
"I remember one example in particular where they were discussing a new site to do some photography and they fell short a man. One of them looks at me like I'm the spare tire in his car and goes: 'I guess you can come with us this one time.', to which another replies: 'Nah, he doesn't want to go. He doesn't like photography.'"
"I told him I was perfectly capable of answering for myself and didn't need him to act as my answering machine, but it lost a lot of impact because he was right. I don't like photography and didn't want to go. I just didn't like being talked about that way."
"Good luck making that clear to them, though. All they heard was: 'If he was right anyway, then why are you b*tching about it?'"
"I no longer hang out with them. I eventually got sick of being treated like the spare guy they can use in case none of the 'main crew' was attending, so I dropped them."
"In 2006, my then-best friend wanted to go to a big German metal festival. I did not want to go because my Dad had end-stage cancer."
"Dad died on August 8th, a couple of days after my friend returned from the festival. I called him because I needed someone to talk to."
"He very bluntly stated that he had no interest in my Dad's passing but wanted to tell me how great the festival was."
"You can't imagine how disappointed I was. For years, I'd been there for him whenever he got dumped, and the one time I needed a friend, he wasn't there for me. I told him to shut my door from the outside and lose my number."
"I was 15, we were hanging out in the alleyway behind my friend’s house as we did almost every day after school."
"One girl was there from the year above us and they started prank calling the child protective services emergency line, pretending to be a child in distress, and they all laughed."
"After a few rounds of this, I felt queasy and left. Never hung out with them again. I still feel bad for not saying something or putting a stop to it, but the girl was older and 'cool.'"
Taking Advantage of Them
"I've been posting on him recently, he was my former neighbor and friend. We didn't immediately hit it off but after a while, we became good friends."
"I tried helping him out (he's an unemployed single dad of two special needs kids). He eventually saw my kindness as something to take advantage of, so late last fall, he either broke into my house (or enabled someone else to do it for him) and stole money from me."
"When I confronted him about this, he physically attacked me."
"I can't say it doesn't hurt."
Friendships are incredibly important, but we're unfortunately not meant to be friends with everyone. Some people simply do not turn out to be the friends we thought they were.
We may know that this happens, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
No one wants to be alone.
But that doesn't mean we should settle when it comes to choosing a romantic partner.
When people rush into things without letting love flourish, it could lead to problems down the line that can inevitably lead to difficult breakups.
Those who've learned this the hard way shared their experiences with love when Redditorlastknownstar asked:
"What common mistakes do people make when choosing a life partner?"
Communication is key.
Discussing Life Issues
"Not discussing big life issues: your preference for having kids, parenting styles, deep religious beliefs, career aspirations, significant traumas…anything that may affect how you make decisions together later on."
"My parents were like this. Dad grew up in a standard midcentury 'men run the house, women stay in the kitchen' family, but Mom came from a long line of domineering southern matriarchs who had their husbands whipped. Dad was naturally a good cook and Mom hated cooking, but once they got married, Dad insisted she make all the food because that's what wives are supposed to do. No warning, total 180 on their relationship up to that point."
"He's learned his lesson and now happily cooks for my stepmom, but man... That's not something you can just spring on your new spouse overnight!"
What About Kids
"Having kids is a really big question that absolutely needs to be communicated. I've also heard that it's a topic that would make the man a big red flag if asked early into the 'relationship' as in first date and/or texts are off limits."
"Wouldnt it be a lot nicer to 'speed date' these big topics early on?"
These Redditors realized ignorance of financial responsibility in a relationship came at a cost.
"Finance is the number 1 leading cause of divorce."
"Edit: this popped up in my YouTube recommendation (Is your relationship struggling because of finance? - Dave Ramsey https://youtu.be/XuU7oabGqjk). Google is not monitoring us or anything"
"This is such a big issue in relationships. Knowing each other's spending habits is equally important. My ex would be extremely judgmental when it came to my 'fun money', but when he bought a new TV or a new gaming console, he was not to be questioned on it."
You can't change people.
Fixing Their Flaws
"Thinking, 'I know this person has flaws, but when we're married I can help fix them.'"
"Ok marriage isn’t working but if we have kids things will change because it will bring us closer."
"I personally had this issue dating someone who was as sweet as could be, but not the brightest bulb in the socket, and they relied on me for knowledge on everything from health to history to housework. All perfectly googleable or troubleshootable questions, but always defaulted to giving up and asking
mommy the girlfriend for help. Admittedly it was kind of an ego boost to have someone always telling me how smart I was and deferring to my judgement on everything, but that's not what a healthy romantic relationship should be like."
"I thought I could nudge them gently into being slightly more self sufficient, but it only got worse as they grew accustomed to relying on me for every little thing. And of course the flip side was I felt like I could never rely on them when I needed help... I knew I was SOL if I couldn't do everything myself, because I was dragging around a parasite instead of a partner."
"Next time I want to spend years working on a fixer-upper, I'm just going to buy a crumbling Victorian house. It'll cause me less stress in the long run."
Taking An Emotional Toll
"I was in a similar boat with an ex, wasn't so much her fault as she had a learning disability and epilepsy."
"Every other weekend we also looked after her kids from past relationships, one of which had autism, and due to my ex's condition she wasn't allowed to be on her own with the kids meaning I had to be there as the capable, responsible adult."
"We were together for just shy of 4 years."
"After she broke things off it took a good few months for me to get used to the fact that I could actually let my guard down, switch my brain off and relax. Without needing to constantly worry that someone would need my help or that I needed to ensure her safety."
"She didn't quite realise the toll it was having on me or the amount of responsibility was on my shoulders. She would constantly suggest things like holidays abroad with just us two and the kids, and all I could think was that it would be far from a relaxing holiday for me as I'd have her and two kids to look after and be responsible for the entire time."
Managing expectations is key.
"Choosing someone they think they should be with instead of someone they're actually compatible with."
"I feel a lot of people have a picture in their head of who they think they'll end up with and chase that ideal, instead of acknowledging their own personality and aiming for someone compatible with that. Easier said than done, but yeah."
– Viminia7 ·
Importance Of Value
"I talk with my partner about this all the time. We think its important to have shared values not shared interests."
"Yes it’s important to share things you both like to do, but just because your partner likes One Punch Man, like you do, doesn’t mean they are on the same page as you with resolving conflicts."
Elvis Presley reminded us that only fools rush in, despite his intense romantic feelings towards his object of affection.
But the wise men he was referring to were on to something.
It's best to ease into things and let love grow, and not force relationships without really getting to know the person with whom you plan to devote yourself to.
If it's meant to be, it'll be worth taking things slow by getting to know a prospective significant other's dreams, what makes them, and their values to see if there is enough chemistry to develop meaningful relationships.
Among the many reasons people watch, and rewatch, sitcoms is to imagine your life was more like the one you were watching.
Being able to afford a two-bedroom apartment in Greenwich Village on a line cook's salary, somehow always having the comfortable sofa available at your favorite coffee shop whenever you pop in, or having your best friends always available at your beck and call whenever you need them.
For the romantics, however, it's wishing you could have a romance like you've seen on television.
True not all sitcom romances are exactly the sort that makes you go all aflutter (Were Ross and Rachel actually on a break? And don't even get me started about Ted and Robin.)
Other sitcom couples are so captivating, though, that we would have given anything to be at their wedding... or at the very least go to their home for dinner every Friday.
And this includes plutonic couples, as there is nothing more heartwarming than a lasting friendship.
"What is the best couple in sitcom history?"
Creating An Even More Welcoming Community
"Troy and Abed. A couple of friends."- aghzombies
"They did grace the cover of Best Friends Weekly."- DwightsEgo
"Peralta and Doug Judy."- DavosLostFingers
"Reunited and it feels so good 🎶."- Ghostenx
"PSYCH"!... No, Seriously...
"Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster."- dazedcap
"'I'm Black, he's Tan'."- CrueGuyRobShawn Spencer What GIFGiphy
"The correct answer is Gomez and Morticia Addams."- Reddit
"They loved each other dearly. "
"They were completely enamored with each other, spent time with their kids, their family."
"Accepted everyone as they were."
"It wasn't til I was an adult That I realized married couples weren't meant to hate each other."
"My mother had many partners in my childhood, she's toxic and things were always chaotic."
"And watching 90s sitcoms, I thought married people were meant to hate each other, and I always wondered what the point was."- MissMurder8666
Overshadowed By Their Middle Child...
"Hal and Lois."- MrRocketman999
"As a husband, I don't think I can live up to Hal."
"He sort of sets a really high standard lol."
"He loves her like they are still in the honeymoon phase."
"So infatuated with her lol."- treathugger
A Better Couple? Many Would Say, "Knope"...
"Ben and Leslie."
"I' love you and I like you.'"
"Simple line, yet so powerful."- RadkeyooAmy Poehler Ben GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy
"Gruesome", But Adorable
"Frank and Charlie from Always Sunny in Philadelphia."
"The gruesome twosome."- Herr_Poopypants
The Parents Everyone Wished Were Theirs...
"Bob and Linda from 'Bobs burgers'."- shashybaws
"All of the Belchers have such great relationships with each other. "
"They're wholly accepting and supportive (even if they disagree)."
"They really love each other, and it shows."- SummerOfMayhem
UK Version Only, Of Course...
"Moss and Roy (The IT Crowd)."- pentapotamia
"'I'm your wife, Roy!'"- Summerof5ft6andahalf
"'If anything, I’m the husband!'"- pentapotamiait crowd chris odowd GIFGiphy
Afterlife Be Damned... Or not, Actually...
"Eleanor and Chidi from 'The Good Place.'"
"How can you beat two deeply flawed people who together make each other better over and over again?"- hotbimess
Ruining All Food For Viewers, One Food Group At A Time...
"The only correct answer is - Scully and Hitchcock."- Prestigious-Net-2236
"Back off! It's our microwave! Ours! GRRRRRRR!"- Lvcivs2311
Nostalgic And Wonderful
"Kitty and Red from That 70s/90s Show."- saginator5000
"I like how Red on the surface seems like a mean parent who doesn’t let his kids have fun."
"But he’s watching out for his kids."
"And he’s a good man."
"He has a hard and stressful time supporting his family and he is grumpy sometimes but he would do anything for his family and he really loves them."
"What he does for Hyde is amazing."
"He just doesn’t put up with BS."- themanfromvulcanMothers Day Woman GIF by LaffGiphy
It Seems Everyone Is Better With Turk At Their Side
"Turk and Carla."
"Or Turk and JD. (Scrubs)."- JCBAwesomist
"Turk and JD all the way."- nunyabidnez76
Can't We Get Back What We Once Had?...
"Homer and Marge had a lot of beautiful moments back in the older seasons."
"Sadly, seasonal rot has ruined a lot of that."
"I miss a lot of how the characters used to be."
"Like, Homer was an oaf and a brute, but he loved his family immensely and deeply and would (and DID) do any and everything for them."
"He'd catch details like in that episode about the streetcar play that you wouldn't think he would."
"He gave up beer for a month for Marge and we got to see that, for him, it wasn't just a minor thing."
'Lisa might have been intelligent but she not only had ample 'dumb/shallow' moments, she also was very close to Bart and, likewise, Bart was close to her."
"He might struggle in school but he also showed he wasn't dumb either."- Snowtwohomer simpson love GIFGiphy
Be they married in the first episode or on and off again for an insufferable amount of time (looking at you, Jeanine and Gregory in Abbott Elementry!), sitcom couples give us people to root for and fill our own hearts with hope.
So much so that we don't mind following the arc of their love stories over and over again.
And yes, the episode where David meets Patrick's parents remains a tearjerker, no matter how many times you watch it.