Ghosting is now the latest and hottest trend in our vapid social culture. Instead of telling someone to their face.... "I'm over you", "This doesn't work!", "I Hate You!" We just slink away into the shadows and leave others wondering if we've fallen off the Earth. Now it maybe necessary when escaping crazy but it often leaves too many doors open. You never know when you'll see them by sheer chance. Awkward!
Redditor u/infiniteplusultra wanted to hear how anybody could justify the silent peace out ways people are leaving certain relations with others by asking..... [Serious] If you have ghosted a loved one, a friend, a significant other, or anybody, why did you do it?
I ghosted my best friend at the time. For some reason she started acting all weird in senior year (she'd go weeks without talking to me or getting mad at me for minor things), finally at our graduation she talked to me and basically told me that she was not going to be my friend anymore because she believed that high school friendships had to end in order to "mature" as a person. Anyway, I was sad and frustrated because I couldn't do anything about it.
About 3 months pass and she sends me a text saying that she misses me and that what she said was a mistake. We started hanging out again and then she'd start acting weird again, then would go on and end our friendship again, that happened about 5 more times, until I just decided to stop replying to her texts.
Last time she texted me was about 2 months ago, in a long ass paragraph she asked if I missed her. I replied with a very short and cold text, told her that I didn't and was living a fairly enjoyable life without her in it. I realize that it might sound harsh, specially because she still tries to be friends again, but really... I was always there for her, she hurt me many times with the stuff she said and did, and even so I'd go back to her, trying to keep our friendship. At some point I just had enough and stopped caring for her. I don't resent her for it, just hope she can find a way to "mature" and be a better person. TheDeer6277
A Bad Friend.
A gay friend of mine was very pushy and demanding of pictures (nudes, shirtless, etc.) of me. It got to the point that i told him i was uncomfortable with it and requested he stop. He sent a massive tirade of how him being attracted to me was just how he was and implied that i was somehow being both a bad friend AND homophobic for not being flattered at his attention. I stopped talking to him altogether. Sucks because i miss my friend, I hope he is doing well, and i wish him the best, but boundaries have to be respected. damndingashrubbery
I ghosted my ex bf bc he was manipulating me for a long time and when i called him out he victimized himself and i was sick of it so i blocked him. pastel11037
The only person I ever cut contact with was my step father. He was a nasty drunk who liked to beat me up, held a gun to my head one time, just a generally sad sad man. I was 12 or so when the beatings started, 15 when the gun thing happened. I moved out at 17 and put myself through college. I'm a teacher now.
I just figured we were both better off without the other. I saw him twice in the last 25 years of his life. Once, I got to my moms house early and he accidentally met my then 1 year old son. That sucked. A couple of years later I had to find him at his apartment because my sister had an accident and was in the hospital. My mom separated from him when I was 20 but she kept trying to help him.
She told me that she didn't want him to die and leave her wondering if she could have done more, which I guess is noble. She couldn't leave him when he was awful to me bc she had little kids and no means of support. She left when he started in with my brother, so she knew it wasn't me, it was him.
When he died (prob of alcohol withdrawal) I wound up pretty much making all of his funeral arrangements. I did it for my siblings, who were his children, and who were wrecked.
So I cut him out to protect myself. I'm almost 50 now and I feel sorrier for him than ever. Chickiepie
Not Another Minute.Giphy
Attended their birthday dinner, their partner was repeatedly horrible to me whenever their back was turned.
Knowing it would my word against the boyfriends and we were not super close friends, I just faded away. I really don't want to spend another minute with their boyfriend or listen to then go on about them. Terryfoldyholds
A girl who I considered my best friend for four years got a DUI and lost her license, and couldn't get a work permit. I gave her rides to and from work for six months, while I was working overnights and going to school full time, so I was loosing a LOT of sleep because of it. It was about 45 minutes to an hour round trip depending on traffic.
I never asked for payment of any kind, and she never offered any. I even bought her Uber's home from the bars when we would go out, because she would regularly get far too intoxicated to function. When she finally got her license back, she basically acted like I didn't really exist anymore. She got a whole bunch of new friends and stopped inviting me places, and would only occasionally text/Snapchat me back.
I ghosted her then (trying to beat her to it I guess) but a few months later tried to rekindle it. Then she tried to screw my boyfriend (whilst very drunk) so I called it quits completely and blocked her on everything. It hurt a lot, and honestly still messes me up a year later. merfrogggg
My girlfriend off 6 years, she went away on army basic training. No contact for 63 days, I wrote letters and messaged her everyday so she wouldn't miss anything when she got back.
She got back. She was distant. Her cousin told me she was cheating and met someone else.
I just send her a text saying 'Don't contact me ever again, best wishes for the future. Love Unhappyspark'. unhappyspark
Too Much Drama.
She started dealing heroin out of her house and kept asking me to steal stuff from the veterinary hospital I worked at. I ghosted her and never looked back. Her and her mother blew up my phone for a while telling me what a huge piece of crap I am but I was afraid of her and I was a huge coward. Probably not the best way to handle the situation but also, heroin. FelixFelicis
It started with them claiming that they forget to check their social media often. After that, they admitted they were not telling the truth and that they were going through a bad time. After that, they continued to ghost me and admitted they were avoiding me for whatever reason. This carried on for six months, all the meanwhile claiming they were incredibly invested in the "friendship".
Even if they were not a malicious person, well, they certainly weren't ready for any kind of friendship. *Shrugs* SagetheWise2222
I've ghosted a few people and its because I consider myself a toxic person. Like I have so many issues that I don't want anyone to know about or be involved with so I cut them out of my life and run away. I tell myself they're better off not knowing or interacting with me but its probably because I don't know how to communicate things in a healthy manner. Maruchan7
Quit the Cycle.
They moved away and became a bit of a mess. They'd only contact me about dramatic crap and I got tired of constantly offering advice only for it to be ignored, which would lead to me having to offer even more advice.
Its all well and good being a supportive friend and some people make you feel guilty for abandoning a friend you're supporting.
It Just Happened.Giphy
I wanted to reply but didn't have the energy, then time passed and passed and passed and I was feeling anxious and ashamed to reply to something that was sent two weeks ago, so I just let it be. Flytrappy
But at the end of the day, you're a human being too with a life to live and if the other person is literally just using you to make themselves feel better then that's draining.
I made contact again last year and it took about 5 minutes for the cycle to start again, so I cut it off quickly (I'm a lot more confident than I used to be) and drew a line under it. pyromanta
Because they were abusive. You can't reason with abusive people. It's safer to cut all contact. Transplanted_Cactus
Anything you say will be used against you, literally. It's a never ending circle. Sometimes it's better to protect yourself and just leave - they wouldn't understand anyway. Physical-Echidna
Working on It.
Just throwing this out there. I travel for work. My trips can be from 1-3 weeks long. A few times I've forgotten my personal phone at home. Then I get back and have all the stuff I missed locally to catch up on. I can straight up disappear from the digital grid for a month if I'm not careful.
This ruined a few relationships I had with people, but those who understood that it wasn't personal stayed around. When I'm back, things pick up like I never left. Act like you care enough that time apart means very little, or that you miss them and it'll all be good. TheJackalsDoom
2 Way Street.Giphy
Realized I was always the one initiating hanging out so I just stopped texting them to see if they'd ever ask me to hang, haven't heard from them since. theitalianrob
Over & Out!
We would make plans to go out. I'd be ready to go and she would leave me waiting. I'd start calling and texting her asking where she is, but never receive an answer. I'd say forget it and go out with other friends anyway, only to run in to her hanging out with other people who I guess she thought were more important. I don't need fickle people like that in my life.
Also ghosted my core group of girl friends because I found out one of them had been spreading vicious lies about me while pretending to be my friend to my face. The others chose her. So I peaced out. It hurt like hell but my life is so much better and calmer now. pinkgallo
"Hey what's up?"
We went through bad breakups weeks apart and helped each other kind of piece things back together.
He got married after dating a girl for less than 8 months and thinking about breaking up with her a month in. Shortly after their wedding we talked less. They had a kid and I was the first person not in their family to meet the baby. We talked even less which I get kids keep you busy. Then he stopped texting me at all, then when we worked for the same company would try to walk right past me and avoid me.
That was my breaking point where I decided to just never initiate conversation again.
Ran into him a month or so ago, got the least sincere "Hey what's up" ever. We haven't spoken in over 3 years at this point and dude couldn't even give me a legitimate greeting or even "How've you been?" Just like "Hey what's up. Cool" then walked away without even saying see you later.
No idea why or what I did, but pretty much decided he can screw off. MrPureinstinct
I ghosted a friend last year. I was going through a rough patch in my life and I didn't have the energy to interact with someone like her (she was very talkative, outgoing, and constantly wanted to hang out). Looking back on it, I regret it a lot. She was still very nice and caring, and it's not like it was her fault that I wasn't doing too well. I've thought of reaching out to her again, but I'm not sure how she feels about the whole ordeal now. curtaincallz
7 Years On....
Not proud of it, but my father. He had a mental breakdown after my mom passed and after several attempts to get him help including offers to pay for therapy, going with him to therapy, Baker Acting him, spending 5 years of no contact then finding him and moving him to the city I was living in & trying again from square one, I finally gave him an ultimatum-seek help and we will work on this father-child relationship or go about your life without me.
It's been 7 years or so & I have kept him out of my life as much as possible. We were never close but he is a good person. I wish him well and hope he is happy, healthy and safe. I have no siblings or grandparents. I guess you don't know what you're missing if you never experienced it. All that being said, it has had a giant influence on me being child free. buickbeast
I ghost toxic people. It's just easier than explaining to them that you hate them as a person. realsies11