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People Who Have Ghosted Someone They Love Defend Their Decision To Cut Ties

Gotta go, gotta go.... gotta go right now!

Ghosting is now the latest and hottest trend in our vapid social culture. Instead of telling someone to their face.... "I'm over you", "This doesn't work!", "I Hate You!" We just slink away into the shadows and leave others wondering if we've fallen off the Earth. Now it maybe necessary when escaping crazy but it often leaves too many doors open. You never know when you'll see them by sheer chance. Awkward!

Redditor u/infiniteplusultra wanted to hear how anybody could justify the silent peace out ways people are leaving certain relations with others by asking..... [Serious] If you have ghosted a loved one, a friend, a significant other, or anybody, why did you do it?

Be Mature.


I ghosted my best friend at the time. For some reason she started acting all weird in senior year (she'd go weeks without talking to me or getting mad at me for minor things), finally at our graduation she talked to me and basically told me that she was not going to be my friend anymore because she believed that high school friendships had to end in order to "mature" as a person. Anyway, I was sad and frustrated because I couldn't do anything about it.

About 3 months pass and she sends me a text saying that she misses me and that what she said was a mistake. We started hanging out again and then she'd start acting weird again, then would go on and end our friendship again, that happened about 5 more times, until I just decided to stop replying to her texts.

Last time she texted me was about 2 months ago, in a long ass paragraph she asked if I missed her. I replied with a very short and cold text, told her that I didn't and was living a fairly enjoyable life without her in it. I realize that it might sound harsh, specially because she still tries to be friends again, but really... I was always there for her, she hurt me many times with the stuff she said and did, and even so I'd go back to her, trying to keep our friendship. At some point I just had enough and stopped caring for her. I don't resent her for it, just hope she can find a way to "mature" and be a better person. TheDeer6277

A Bad Friend. 

A gay friend of mine was very pushy and demanding of pictures (nudes, shirtless, etc.) of me. It got to the point that i told him i was uncomfortable with it and requested he stop. He sent a massive tirade of how him being attracted to me was just how he was and implied that i was somehow being both a bad friend AND homophobic for not being flattered at his attention. I stopped talking to him altogether. Sucks because i miss my friend, I hope he is doing well, and i wish him the best, but boundaries have to be respected. damndingashrubbery


I ghosted my ex bf bc he was manipulating me for a long time and when i called him out he victimized himself and i was sick of it so i blocked him. pastel11037

Me First. 

The only person I ever cut contact with was my step father. He was a nasty drunk who liked to beat me up, held a gun to my head one time, just a generally sad sad man. I was 12 or so when the beatings started, 15 when the gun thing happened. I moved out at 17 and put myself through college. I'm a teacher now.

I just figured we were both better off without the other. I saw him twice in the last 25 years of his life. Once, I got to my moms house early and he accidentally met my then 1 year old son. That sucked. A couple of years later I had to find him at his apartment because my sister had an accident and was in the hospital. My mom separated from him when I was 20 but she kept trying to help him.

She told me that she didn't want him to die and leave her wondering if she could have done more, which I guess is noble. She couldn't leave him when he was awful to me bc she had little kids and no means of support. She left when he started in with my brother, so she knew it wasn't me, it was him.

When he died (prob of alcohol withdrawal) I wound up pretty much making all of his funeral arrangements. I did it for my siblings, who were his children, and who were wrecked.

So I cut him out to protect myself. I'm almost 50 now and I feel sorrier for him than ever. Chickiepie

Not Another Minute.


Attended their birthday dinner, their partner was repeatedly horrible to me whenever their back was turned.

Knowing it would my word against the boyfriends and we were not super close friends, I just faded away. I really don't want to spend another minute with their boyfriend or listen to then go on about them. Terryfoldyholds

She Evil. 

A girl who I considered my best friend for four years got a DUI and lost her license, and couldn't get a work permit. I gave her rides to and from work for six months, while I was working overnights and going to school full time, so I was loosing a LOT of sleep because of it. It was about 45 minutes to an hour round trip depending on traffic.

I never asked for payment of any kind, and she never offered any. I even bought her Uber's home from the bars when we would go out, because she would regularly get far too intoxicated to function. When she finally got her license back, she basically acted like I didn't really exist anymore. She got a whole bunch of new friends and stopped inviting me places, and would only occasionally text/Snapchat me back.

I ghosted her then (trying to beat her to it I guess) but a few months later tried to rekindle it. Then she tried to screw my boyfriend (whilst very drunk) so I called it quits completely and blocked her on everything. It hurt a lot, and honestly still messes me up a year later. merfrogggg

No Contact. 

My girlfriend off 6 years, she went away on army basic training. No contact for 63 days, I wrote letters and messaged her everyday so she wouldn't miss anything when she got back.

She got back. She was distant. Her cousin told me she was cheating and met someone else.

I just send her a text saying 'Don't contact me ever again, best wishes for the future. Love Unhappyspark'. unhappyspark

Too Much Drama. 

She started dealing heroin out of her house and kept asking me to steal stuff from the veterinary hospital I worked at. I ghosted her and never looked back. Her and her mother blew up my phone for a while telling me what a huge piece of crap I am but I was afraid of her and I was a huge coward. Probably not the best way to handle the situation but also, heroin. FelixFelicis


It started with them claiming that they forget to check their social media often. After that, they admitted they were not telling the truth and that they were going through a bad time. After that, they continued to ghost me and admitted they were avoiding me for whatever reason. This carried on for six months, all the meanwhile claiming they were incredibly invested in the "friendship".

Even if they were not a malicious person, well, they certainly weren't ready for any kind of friendship. *Shrugs* SagetheWise2222



I've ghosted a few people and its because I consider myself a toxic person. Like I have so many issues that I don't want anyone to know about or be involved with so I cut them out of my life and run away. I tell myself they're better off not knowing or interacting with me but its probably because I don't know how to communicate things in a healthy manner. Maruchan7

Quit the Cycle. 

They moved away and became a bit of a mess. They'd only contact me about dramatic crap and I got tired of constantly offering advice only for it to be ignored, which would lead to me having to offer even more advice.

Its all well and good being a supportive friend and some people make you feel guilty for abandoning a friend you're supporting.

It Just Happened.


I wanted to reply but didn't have the energy, then time passed and passed and passed and I was feeling anxious and ashamed to reply to something that was sent two weeks ago, so I just let it be. Flytrappy

But at the end of the day, you're a human being too with a life to live and if the other person is literally just using you to make themselves feel better then that's draining.

I made contact again last year and it took about 5 minutes for the cycle to start again, so I cut it off quickly (I'm a lot more confident than I used to be) and drew a line under it. pyromanta

100% relatable.

Because they were abusive. You can't reason with abusive people. It's safer to cut all contact. Transplanted_Cactus

100% relatable. I agree it's usually better to discuss problems you're having in any kind of relationship, but with abusive ones there's nothing to do.

Anything you say will be used against you, literally. It's a never ending circle. Sometimes it's better to protect yourself and just leave - they wouldn't understand anyway. Physical-Echidna

Working on It. 

Just throwing this out there. I travel for work. My trips can be from 1-3 weeks long. A few times I've forgotten my personal phone at home. Then I get back and have all the stuff I missed locally to catch up on. I can straight up disappear from the digital grid for a month if I'm not careful.

This ruined a few relationships I had with people, but those who understood that it wasn't personal stayed around. When I'm back, things pick up like I never left. Act like you care enough that time apart means very little, or that you miss them and it'll all be good. TheJackalsDoom

2 Way Street.


Realized I was always the one initiating hanging out so I just stopped texting them to see if they'd ever ask me to hang, haven't heard from them since. theitalianrob

Over & Out! 

We would make plans to go out. I'd be ready to go and she would leave me waiting. I'd start calling and texting her asking where she is, but never receive an answer. I'd say forget it and go out with other friends anyway, only to run in to her hanging out with other people who I guess she thought were more important. I don't need fickle people like that in my life.

Also ghosted my core group of girl friends because I found out one of them had been spreading vicious lies about me while pretending to be my friend to my face. The others chose her. So I peaced out. It hurt like hell but my life is so much better and calmer now. pinkgallo

"Hey what's up?" 

We went through bad breakups weeks apart and helped each other kind of piece things back together.

He got married after dating a girl for less than 8 months and thinking about breaking up with her a month in. Shortly after their wedding we talked less. They had a kid and I was the first person not in their family to meet the baby. We talked even less which I get kids keep you busy. Then he stopped texting me at all, then when we worked for the same company would try to walk right past me and avoid me.

That was my breaking point where I decided to just never initiate conversation again.

Ran into him a month or so ago, got the least sincere "Hey what's up" ever. We haven't spoken in over 3 years at this point and dude couldn't even give me a legitimate greeting or even "How've you been?" Just like "Hey what's up. Cool" then walked away without even saying see you later.

No idea why or what I did, but pretty much decided he can screw off. MrPureinstinct

Bad Call. 

I ghosted a friend last year. I was going through a rough patch in my life and I didn't have the energy to interact with someone like her (she was very talkative, outgoing, and constantly wanted to hang out). Looking back on it, I regret it a lot. She was still very nice and caring, and it's not like it was her fault that I wasn't doing too well. I've thought of reaching out to her again, but I'm not sure how she feels about the whole ordeal now. curtaincallz

7 Years On....

Not proud of it, but my father. He had a mental breakdown after my mom passed and after several attempts to get him help including offers to pay for therapy, going with him to therapy, Baker Acting him, spending 5 years of no contact then finding him and moving him to the city I was living in & trying again from square one, I finally gave him an ultimatum-seek help and we will work on this father-child relationship or go about your life without me.

It's been 7 years or so & I have kept him out of my life as much as possible. We were never close but he is a good person. I wish him well and hope he is happy, healthy and safe. I have no siblings or grandparents. I guess you don't know what you're missing if you never experienced it. All that being said, it has had a giant influence on me being child free. buickbeast

Poison People.


I ghost toxic people. It's just easier than explaining to them that you hate them as a person. realsies11


People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.