Friendships can be complicated. Someone who you adored can turn on you pretty quickly, sometimes your other friends or family (or dog - always trust the dog) just don't like a person and you can't figure out why. In a lot of situations the reason is toxicity.
No, not the System of a Down song - although we'll admit that song is a total medolic-metal-magnum-opus style jam. We mean people can secretly be total trash fests and sometimes it takes you way too long to figure it out.
Reddit user Eatmyshegg asked:
When did you realize your friend was toxic?
Real talk, a lot of these are downright horrifying. Read ahead with caution. People are capable of some seriously cringeworthy stuff.
Totally Cool
When he brought his "totally cool" friends over, and then they stole some of my stuff (an iPod and a money clip with some cash) and he defended them.
- ande8523
Cheating Isn't Funny
GiphyShe told me she was cheating on her husband, while laughing about how funny it was that her boyfriend would come over to the house and hang out with her husband and her and their newborn.
After I told her that wasn't cool and we weren't friends anymore, she told everyone that I was sleeping with her husband and an abusive drunk. (No to all)
Happy ending- dad divorced and got full custody, I got new friends.
- AuntGoat
Just A Hoe
"Nah trust me, you don't wanna ask her out, she's just a hoe."
He then proceeded to get with her.
DUFF
Many things but when she refused to come to my wedding because she hadn't had weight loss surgery yet & didn't want to look fat and frumpy on my wedding day... that was the culmination that lead to me severing ties. She used to refer to me as her 'DUFF' - the designated ugly fat friend. Then as we grew up, I slimmed down and grew into my appearance rather nicely and she did the opposite, which infuriated her.
She tried to make up a dozen excuses as to why she couldn't be my maid of honor. She couldn't afford to travel to my wedding, I offered to pay for it all. She couldn't afford the dress, which I also pair for my bridesmaids dresses... then when she went on a very lavish & expensive trip to a resort and posted photos on FB, I called her out. That's when she said she didn't want to go and be in pictures because she was having gastric surgery and my wedding was too soon for her to be hot in my wedding line.
heartbreak.exe
At that point, our other mutual friend melted down and literally listed all the ways my best friend was a frenemy & toxic. Feels bad, man.
Compliments
Back-handed compliments, also comments that she is amazing thinly veiled as a "put-down", almost like fishing for compliments.
I didn't want to hang out with her anymore when I realized I never felt good after spending time with her.
- 114631
Single White Female
She started copying me. Everything about me. It was something straight out of "Single White Female". She started using my frequent phrases, tried to pick up all my hobbies, and started dressing *exactly* like me. The final straw was when she started getting really possessive when I would hang out with people without her and tried to turn me against all my other friends.
We aren't friends anymore, but everyone tells me she's still obsessed with me and talks about how I abandoned her to anyone who will listen. It's been 4 years.
Fake Pregnant
GiphyShe tricked one of my friends that she was pregnant with their child, and used my phone to do it. She used to steal my phone while I was sleeping and text my friend (guy she hooked up with) pretending to be me, saying shit like "omg ____ is throwing up again this morning" and various other pregnancy things to convince the guy. She was not pregnant and 100% knew she wasn't.
Adderall
When they stole my adderall prescription, tried to help me find it (it was stolen during a party we threw) then spent the next few weeks staying up until 8AM playing FIFA like that was something totally normal.
"My Fault if She Died"
When she threatened to hurt herself if I didn't do what she wanted.
She asked me if she could sleep over at my house one night. I told her no, since I had grandparents visiting the next day.
She continued and tried to convince me to let her. She said that if I let her, she would stop cutting - but if I didn't, it would be my fault if she died.
I didn't let her, I "ditched" her the same year. She's still alive to this day. She has a girlfriend and is moving out of town soon.
Suicidal VR Pedophile
When he said "Everybody likes me more than you" for no reason what so ever. I then realized how much he'd been putting me down lately. Especially in the last couple weeks after he had a suicide attempt. I made the call that saved his life and he seems to resent the F*CK out of me for it. He literally spent the entire 2 weeks after his suicide attempt just berating me to anybody who would listen. He attacked my looks, my job, my wife, my friends(his mutual friends), anything. He literally made fun of me for being able to afford a better pc than him, called me a 'job cuck' and told me I'm bad at video games.
This goes further back though. We'd been playing VR chat the last year or so, but unfortunately as the game grew less and less popular with 20 somethings it become more popular with teenagers. Young teenagers. My friend is 30 years old, and he began a relationship with a 16 year old he met on the game. They "dated" for about a month, then when she broke up with him (for him pressuring her to send naked photos) he became insane.
He kept talking about suicide and how everyone plots against him, and I suggest he take a break from VRchat because it wasn't healthy for him. Nope, he does the opposite now. He's cut off every real world friend and spends every waking moment in VRchat being a pedophile and talking to people less than half his age. He's been grooming this 14 year old and I was trying to get his family to intervene with this but they don't believe me that he's doing it.
So when he just told me "Everybody likes me more than you" I just blocked him. Not with out him blowing me up "greifing" me for an hour straight while I fought to block him/delete him on every single platform. Some social media platforms I just had to give up entirely
He didn't used to be like this, but something happened in him and he's gone really hard off the deep end. EXTREME narcissism like I've never seen in a person before. He attempted to manipulate everyone he could against me but I took screen shots of all of it and sent it to the mutual friend group - who is now avoiding him because he made fun of them too.
- Light_PC
The Jacket
First day of high school my "friend" said to me:
"Eww you wearing the same jacket that you did in 8th grade, get a new jacket then talk to me."
Worst part was he was the unofficial leader of our friend group so they all cut me out. I got a new jacket a few days later, but never talked to anyone in the group again. It wasn't a loss.
All About Her
When I realized all of our conversations were about her and her insecurities and when I brought up my own problems she would straight up ignore them.
Being the supportive friend I am she basically used me to feel better about herself. We had been friends for years and this girl looked down on me and never gave a crap about me. This took me a really long time to realize. One time I saw her back after months, felt so drained after hanging out with her and cried when walking home. I knew something was wrong and proceeded to block her on everything. Haven't seen or heard from her since, and I don't miss her and her sh!tty attitude.
Funny thing, she would constantly shit on other people and whine how she never got invited to parties at her dorm. I was the only person who had the patience to put up with her sh!t. Kind of a red flag on it's own.
The Apocalypse
GiphyShe started getting EXTREMELY religious. I have nothing against religion of any kind, but this was just... A crazy kind of religious beliefs. She started speculating about some apocalyptic event, and she spent MONTHS of precious time researching it. It somehow came up in every conversation, and whenever anyone said anything to disprove the event, she would get PISSED. Eventually, I ended up stating my opinion on it, and apparently she decided then and there that I wasn't a good enough friend for her just because I didn't share those religious beliefs.
If that isn't toxic, I don't know what is.
Mood Swings and Mom Friends
I would be dreading what mood she would be in when the class period that we shared arrived.
This girl is either the nicest person in the world or very awful. I always made excuses because I knew her parents were horrible, and as the Mom Friend, I always seem to attract people with shitty parents who were looking for some sort of validation.
She developed a crush on me and tried to break me and my then-girlfriend up, and would treat me like sh!t when I turned her down. So yeah, she was definitely toxic. Still is. I hope that she's doing okay though.
Blackmail
When she literally told me she would blackmail me if I didn't give her my lunch or if I made her look dumb in class.
Flirty Friends
He was an older guy I had a bit of a crush on. And had a girlfriend, yet he encouraged flirting, which was confusing, as before I knew they dated, he would flirt and play-fight with me. We were in martial arts classes together. I was 15, he was 19. After a month or two of flirting, he began asking me more sexual questions, and would text me on Snapchat to say he was horny. The entire time we were "just friends." He would compliment me, backhandedly, and tell me about him and his girlfriends sex life.
At one point, he wanted to hug me and have me grab his butt. I (hesitantly) did, and felt nothing emotionally, or physically, while he later talked about how I turned him on.
Ew. When I turned 16, I started talking to who is now my best friend(16m), and distanced myself from toxic friend, stopped going to the same martial arts classes, and got over that (unhealthy as f*ck) non-relationship.
Almost a year later (I'm now 17) he text me and wants to be friends. I say fine, and we haphazardly text on and off. He's engaged. Good for him! He started flirting with me again, and I cut ties immediately.
His engagement just got called off last week. I wonder who else he was flirting with.
Cheating
When she kept trying to convince me to cheat on my boyfriend of 4 years and ignored me for 3 months when she got a friend with benefits.
- enioy
Why Bother
When I asked her for art tips because she was very good and I was just starting out, she said I'd never be as good as her so why bother anyway.
Atheist
She was very religious. She told me to break up with my atheist boyfriend. When I told her I wouldn't she proceed to tell me I have the devil inside me and that I'm going to hell.
Funny thing is after we stopped being friends, she dated an atheist.
The Leech
GiphyWhen I told him how stressed I was because I'm working four jobs (video production) and he asked if I was going to quit one so he could take it. He's a leech, constantly looking for any opportunity to piggyback off of someone's success without putting forth any effort whatsoever.
- People Reveal The Moment When They First Realized Their Friend ... ›
- People Reveal How They Realized Their Friends Were Toxic ... ›
- People Explain Why They Cut All Ties With Their Group Of Friends - George Takei ›
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.