People Adopted Later In Life Share How Long It Took To Feel Like Family
Adoption has been talked about a lot in the media lately, but it typically focuses on young children.
Have you ever wondered what adoption is like for older children?
Adoption is bound to be a different experience for someone who is old enough to remember and participate in the process in their own way.
A person who already has an established personality, fears, quirks, anxieties, etc... is surely going to experience the adoption process differently than an infant or very young child would.
But what does that look like?
Reddit asked:
"People who were adopted when they were old enough to remember it, how long did it take for your adopted family to feel like your family?"
Read on for the details Reddit users were willing to share about their adoptions.
Happy Tears
About 2 months, that's when I asked if I could call her mum, she cried and I felt bad because I didn't know happy tears were a thing when I was 5.
I'd been meeting them for about 6 months before that and the odd weekend sleepover to get to know them before I moved in, so by the time I actually lived there I was quite comfortable with them and looking forward to staying for good.
I'd lived with a foster family for a year but always knew it was temporary so never got too attached.
Permission For Food
About a week in when they told me I didn't have to ask permission every time I wanted food. I was like "Well, this is family."
My bio mom rarely had food in the house and when we did have food we had to ask for it before we were allowed to eat. Most of the time she said no. My next two foster homes were the same exact way so I thought that's just how they were. Wicked people.
GiphyThe last and final home (mentioned above) was my maternal uncle and his wife. I didn't really know them up until I moved in. They were so confused as to why I asked for food first and barely ate when I did get it. I remember watching food network with them and saying something looked good. The next day all the ingredients were there and my uncle taught me to cook. After that I was the family chef and would whip up anything I could. They did a lot of good for me. And I'm still the best cook in the family.
All Together
I was about 9 years old when I was adopted. My sisters and my brother came with. At the time, I didn't realize just how crazy my new parents were for deciding to adopt all four of us at once. (Now that I'm older, I can safely say that we've given both of them absolute HELL all throughout our teenage years.) Honestly, not being separated from my siblings made the transition kind of seamless. We'd been in the foster care system for only about 8 months and were more or less oblivious to what was going on.
Then we were introduced to some people who wanted to be our new parents.
One week we were visiting these two nice people, the next we were living with them and visiting all our new relatives. I know that it might sound kind of bland, but there was maybe only a period of a couple weeks where I had to get comfortable with thinking of these strangers as family. Maybe it helped that I was a relatively dumb kid, or maybe my new family being so closely knit with each other helped. Hell, my new grandparents lived next door to us until we moved to a bigger house!
Confronting Dad
I was adopted at 11 and technically this happened just before. It's important to note I have trouble showing affection.
The day I realized I was really wanted was when my adoptive Dad got on a plane with me and flew over 2 states so I could confront my bio Dad. I wanted answers. In the end I asked him to give up parental rights as I could clearly see I had found a better family.
When you have one Dad standing back (but still close enough to protect you showing love) and another slumped, half drunk on a picnic table it's clear what the best option is.
After that I felt more relaxed as I knew I couldn't be sent back to my bio Dad (he was holding out his rights to stop the adoption) I didn't become affectionate per se, but I did start being more comfortable and sharing my dreams in life which often resulted in my Dad in the back yard doing dumb stuff with me like learning hoola hoop tricks because I wanted to join the circus.
So I guess the answer is from the start once I was adopted.
The Video
I was adopted by my foster family when I was five years old. I had been with them since I was a baby but I fully understood there was a difference between being a foster kid who called them mom and dad and being "their" kid. A lot of kids came in and out of the doors that called them mom and dad but I knew that if I was adopted it meant I got to stay.
This may sound harsh, but I sincerely appreciated it. When my parents were waiting to hear about the adoption my mom sat me down and we had a very tough conversation. I obviously don't remember the details but I do remember one thing. A yes to the adoption meant I could stay with them forever. A no meant that I would likely be moved to a new foster home. I remember hiding in my room when any new cars pulled up out front of our house because I so badly wanted to stay. My mom said she told me because she wanted me to have no doubt in my mind that, no matter if the court decided yes or no, they wanted and loved me.
Luckily for me (and I have to say this because I can feel the stares of my whole family if I don't: luckily for them too) the answer was yes.
I think when it clicked for me, really fully clicked, was when I was about 10-13 and I found an old VHS tape with my name on it. I put it in and it was my family. My mom, dad, brother and sister. They were all standing in front of the camera and they were talking about me. My older brother said something I'll never forget. "I have a little sister, her name is Ellyendra. I guess she isn't ours yet but we want to keep her. I really hope we get to cause I love her a lot."
That. Did. It. Knowing that this awkward 14 year old kid loved me so much he was willing to say that into a camera for a tape my parents planned to send with me if I couldn't be theirs. I was a mess. I still can barely watch it now without bursting into tears. My brother and I are about 12 years apart and we are the best of friends.
It definitely helped that all of my extended family felt the same too. Anytime anyone would say something or make a comment or even mention adoption -- my aunts were like vultures. It's the most amazing feeling ever. "Well that doesn't matter she is ours! Always has been!" Followed by crushing hugs from at least five people.
4th Time Is A Charm
I was 6, my sister 11. She took to them right away but it took me about 6 months, this is abnormally long but because they were the 4th family to try and adopt us I thought I was going back into foster care, so I had an irrational hatred of them for several months.
1st family was deemd "too religious" after the adoption agency found out they locked our toys in the garage because they were 'possessed by satan'. We were only allowed to listen to instrumental Christian music in the house and when the 'dad' found out my sister was interested in Egypt he made her sit at the dinner table and forced her to write 10 reasons why "Her Egyptian gods were better than his".
She was 10.
The system was going to let them adopt us til our foster mom locked the agents in a room and told them they weren't allowed to leave until they wrote 10 reasons why we should be adopted by them... got the point across real well! I remember the house smelling like that incense they use to 'ward off demons' too.
2nd family They ended up not liking us because I had too many trauma triggers and they couldn't figure out how to deal with our PTSD and gave us back.
3rd try, The family got caught with several types of drugs. (This was a biological family member who offered to take us in.)
Then, of course, the people who actually adopted us. I did attempt to sabotage that adoption during my 1st week there by telling my foster mom they hit me and I hated them. My sister told her I was lying - which I am now grateful for.14 years later I am very glad they adopted my sister and I.
- amarettu
Dating Advice
It took about a year for me. I didn't really feel like they were my family until I was 13 (I had met them at 12), and I asked my step sister for advice on how to ask a girl out. I know it sounds stupid but that was when it really clicked that they were family and I could trust them.
Never
It never did, sadly. It was just incompatibility even though I was very very young (a toddler less than two) and honestly we just never fit.
I don't love them and I never did. I wanted to so badly. They felt the same way, I am sure. I always wondered if I was broken until I had my own family and found my bio siblings. I felt it then. I didn't actually know I was adopted until 18.
We just had really different personalities. My adoptive family were loud sports people. Mother wanted a girly girl pageant queen like the rest of the women in her family line. I am a quiet reader who is super interested in frogs.
I left home at 17 and we haven't spoken to each other in years since I was 30-ish.
I wish them well.
I feel a very strong connection to my bio family that I found when I was 18. Not my bio parents (they're useless) but I found siblings with my same sense of humour and my niece is so much like me it is scary. I had adopted siblings, but they were always like strangers even though we grew up together.
A Horrific Attempt
I was adopted at 6. My adopted family took me to Walmart and a guy tried grabbing/kidnapping me. My older brothers beat the crap out of him; one grabbed a skateboard and hit the guy over the head then they kicked him and stomped on him while he was on the ground. That's when I knew my family cared about me.
Fantastic Grandparents
I was adopted from foster care at 14. I definitely didn't feel like a real member of the family until I had my own child. I guess that seems odd. Getting gifts and things really made me feel awkward when I was younger but having them drop everything when I had a baby and step in as fantastic grandparents sealed the deal.
My adoptive mother always thought of me as her own. She says the stork left me on the wrong doorstep and it took her a while to find me. Although she raised my with her husband, they got divorced when I was in my early 20's. He was a wonderful grandpa to my firstborn but he met someone else and dropped out of our lives because it made his new wife uncomfortable.
That was hard to lose a family again, but my mom remarried a wonderful man and he is awesome to my kids. At this point after 32 years, we just don't think about it. Occasionally something funny will happen, we will talk about something she has and we might talk about it being hereditary before we remember and laugh. No one would ever guess, people always see similarities. My kids don't know. I am not hiding it but it just doesn't come up.
GiphyThe next question is usually about my bio parents. I talk to my father a few times a year. He had the option to keep me out of foster care but it just didn't work for him. My mom is a life long drug addict with a lengthy prison record for assault, terrorism, stalking, soliciting etc.
The first 12 years of my.life was horrific. I had no childhood. I visited her when I was 18, I thought maybe not having her child for the last 6 years would trigger something. She at first didn't remember having a child and then blamed me for her addictions. I walked away and have never looked back except to check in with her local pd every few years. She has a shopping cart that she parks near the station and they are all familiar with her.
I got very lucky to be adopted but I was a jerk at first. I had a lot of issues and truly belonging was hard.
Out Of State College
My aunt and uncle adopted me when I was 3 years old. What followed was years of emotional breakdowns, therapy, and social anxiety. For the longest time it never felt like I ever had or deserved a family, I eventually came to terms with me just in another living space. I did learn to love the family I was adopted into though. Around the time I was transferring colleges out of the state, my family was genuinely sad to see me leave and it kinda just hit me that these people actually loved me.
My late adoption caused long term self esteem issues, and this was the first time in my life I knew people could love and care about me. Everything my family did to accommodate me into our new home; therapy, letting me visit my birth parents, putting MY last name on the mailbox, and more was done out of complete love.
I'm 22 now and I'm going to be moving out in two months. I am very bad at expressing gratitude and I don't like hugging or talking to people but I'm doing literally all I can to try to convey that I love them. I've been looking bad at these last 19 years now and I feel horrible that I didn't believe they cared about me. I don't think they believe me when I tell them I love them. This is emotionally tolling on me but I'm gonna keep trying until I know they know.
- JoeBoco7
The stories aren't all heartwarming and happy, but they are all admirably vulnerable, honest, and eye opening.
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Those who are fascinated by the paranormal or unsettling situations can quickly get their fix by watching many shows on various streaming platforms and literature.
But they seem to forget that truth is actually stranger than fiction and many of the bizarre plotlines depicted in shows and books are inspired by actual life events.
Curious to hear what keeps strangers online up at night, Redditor wisteriasgirl asked:
"What’s the creepiest Wikipedia article you’ve ever read?"
All it takes is a toxic environment to have deadly consequences.
Gas Attack
"Tokyo Subway Sarin Attack, wherein a 10 members of the doomsday cult 'Aum Shinrikiyo' launched five separate Sarin gas attacks onboard five subway trains across three major subway lines in Tokyo. Killed 14, and injured approx 5,000 people, 1,000 of which received serious injuries."
"The cult itself started out as simple yoga group, which gradually turned into a doomsday cult whose goal is to start World War 3. They are also infamous for using chemical weapons in their attacks: VX, Phosgene, Cyanide, and Sarin gas."
– TheRepublicAct
Fatal Exposure To Chemical Elements
"The death of Karen Wetterhahn. She died of mercury poisoning at the age of 48 due to accidental exposure to the extremely toxic organic mercury compound dimethylmercury."
"Protective gloves in use at the time of the incident provided insufficient protection, and exposure to only a few drops of the chemical absorbed through the gloves proved to be fatal after less than a year."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karen_Wetterhahn
– dorvann
DIY Cancer Cure Specialist
"The Toxic Death of Gloria Ramirez which is about a woman who possibly (the definitive cause is unknown) used household chemicals to treat cancer and in the process of caring for her many doctors and nurses fell ill. The chemicals reacted with her blood, creating an airborne toxin. She presented with an oily sheen on her entire body and her insides (mouth, blood, etc) had a pungent, sweet, garlic-y smell."
"Edit: A likely cause for Gloria is known but we can't rule out the theory where her IV bag gets switched out with meth ingredients being smuggled through the hospital (that is actually listed in the wiki) or, of course, aliens. /s And YES, I did first hear of her on buzzfeed unsolved, but I read the Wiki after okay?"
– ronaldreagular
The things humans are capable of doing by causing harm to others is deeply disturbing.
Led By A Doomsday Cult Leader
"Oh man, you should check out the Ant Hill Kids then."
"I'm not sure wikipedia goes into the brutality of it, but imagine screwdriver + brain + acid and a bunch of other f'ked up things. No real reason other than they felt like it in the moment."
– Cult_ureS
This Duo Filmed Their Killings
Dnepropetrovsk Maniacs
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dnepropetrovsk_maniacs
"It was actually mainly just two guys, the third guy didn't get charged with any murders, just armed robberies that took place before the murders."
– onarainyafternoon
School Bomber
"The Bath School Massacre about a man who went insane and bombed a school in order to kill the next generation of his town and get back at the prominent community members that 'slighted him'. Awful, awful."
– ronaldregular
Murder Of A Japanese High School Student
"Junko Furuta. That whole article just makes my blood boil."
– Cleverbird
Obsessed Radiographer
"Carl Tanzler A radiographer who got obsessed with a patient of his, Elena Hoyos. She succumbed to tuberculosis while under his treatment. He stole her body and kept it in his house for years to come, until her family discovered what was going on. Hoyos' decaying body was kept together with wires and a mask was made. He was also married to another woman all this while. Just an all-round disgusting case."
– identitty_theft
Redditors can't bear to imagine perishing by way of these horrific circumstances.
Inhumane Torture
"The article for Lingchi, or 'death by a thousand cuts.' Its a kind of execution method that was used in China where someone is tied to a wooden frame and is cut to death, usually over the course of several days, sometimes in public."
– dudebro1275
Ripped Apart
"Hv u heard about the method where a person’s head, arms and legs are tied to five different horses and they walk in away in different directions tearing the guy apart?"
"It’s called 車裂"
– Evelyn_Bliss
The article I personally found absolutely unsettling was the death of Elisa Lam, whose body was found in a large cistern atop the Cecil Hotel.
The budget hotel, which was named Stay On the Main at the time, was notorious for hauntings and housing serial killers like Richard Ramirez–a.k.a. "The Nightstalker."
Lam was last seen alive inside the building's elevator through viral surveillance footage of her behaving erratically.
Social media users were fixated on her subsequent disappearance, and much of what happened to Lam and how her body found its way into the water tank remains the subject of many theories and debates.
In Nora Ephron's classic romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally, the two title characters have fundamental disagreement about men and women's ability to be friends owing to the "sex part getting in the way".
Wherever one stands on this, admittedly heteronormative, argument, there is no denying that many people have managed to sustain close friendships in spite of some obvious sexual tension between them.
Obvious at least to almost all of their inner circle, if not the friends in questions.
Of course, sometimes these friends feel the need to give in to this palpable tension, and go ahead and have sex.
Forever changing their friendships, for better or worse.
"What happened after you had sex with your best friend?"
Change In Status, Still Best Friends
"We had gotten drunk to celebrate me getting into med school, and 8 years of repressed sexual tension just poured out in a single night."
"The next 3 days, we were both in a panicked daze."
"I thought I had lost my best friend for the best sex of my life, and I couldn't stop thinking it wasn't worth it."
"The sex was mind blowing, but no one made me feel as safe or as happy and I would trade anything to keep that."
"He asked would it really be so crazy if we tried dating?"
"We moved in together a month later."
"We've been together now for 7 years, got engaged."
"Saving up for a house and wedding."
"He's still my best friend."- LexicalCat
'We bought an air fryer and a water cooler for our house so I guess you could say things are pretty serious."- ur_newstepmom
Office Break GIFGiphyAn Unfortunate Demise
"Unfortunately we stopped being best friends after that."- Previous_Smile7275
Testing The Waters
"She became my sorta, kinda girlfriend and we've been taking things slow!"- CapG_13·
Big Mistake...
"I hated doing it with her cuz she said, 'you are like a brother to me!' after doing it."- aldrin2111
"He hates me now."- estrellaprincessa
"What happened is : I wanted more and fell totally in love with her."
"She didn’t and thought it was a mistake."
"We tried staying friends, she became distant, I became weird."
"She decided that we shouldn’t see each other anymore."
"At all."- Grin-Guy
the oc couple in bed GIFGiphyMade It Official
"We went to sleep."
"And are married for 8 years now."- DocSternau
"We got married."
"3 kids, a grandson and 37 years later I still don't regret it."- Cheezel62
"Married her."
"Knew she was in it for the long con."- aggierogue3
Love Is Love Wedding GIF by PBS KIDSGiphyStill The Same Old Friends...
"We did a FWB thing for about three years."
"Whenever we were both single, we’d hook up."
"She lived about 300 miles away.'
"We used to sort of dance around the possibility of actually dating, even getting married, but we never pulled the trigger."
"The distance was too much, I think."
"We loved each other very much."
"Got to the point where whether it was platonic or romantic love was difficult to tell, and weirdly, neither of us was in a rush to figure it out."
"I guess we both had faith it would work itself out as it was supposed to."
"And it did."
"She met a great guy, dated him, and married him."
"I performed the ceremony."
"After it was over, at the reception, I gave her a hug and she kissed my cheek and smiled a little flirtatiously (we both knew it was the last time she’d give me that look), and said, 'Thanks for marrying me.'"
"It was one of the most purely loving, intimate moments of my life."
"We are still close."
"Not like before, but we still love each other deeply, and we always will."
"That love just has a more clearly defined label now, and it’s a label we both respect and cherish."
"So yeah, it’s not always a sad ending."
"Sometimes it’s just a weird and beautiful intermission."- RPMac1979
best friends dance GIF by Will & GraceGiphyMust Have Been Good
"More sex."- Glittering_Pea_6228
Be it a friendship or a romantic relationship, having sex is always bound to change things.
If you like things the way they are, think very carefully before taking the leap.
People Share The Best Professional Examples Of 'Everyone Hates Me Until They Need Me'
From the moment they can talk through their teenage years, all children utter the words "I hate you" to one or both of their parents.
While they think they might truly mean it at the time, it takes them virtually no time at all to realize that is far from the truth, as they need their parents more than they can possibly realize.
In truth, seemingly genuine hatred towards people we actually need is something all adults continue to find themselves struggling with.
This time, often with people who work in certain professions, whom they tend to mock or belittle, believing that all their jobs do is make life more difficult for other people.
Only to find themselves requiring their services soon thereafter.
“Everybody hates me until they need me.” What professions are examples of this?"
Joke All You Want, They Both Help You When You're In Trouble...
"Lawyers and mechanics."
"You want to have a good one of each, but you never want to have to call either of them."- OneFingerIn
Literally Always There To Clean Up Your Mess...
"When I was a janitor I got a lot of hate for knocking out my 8 hour day in 4 individual hour long chunks of effort."
"I Was always available for spills and got extra work done every day but spent another 4 hours basically chilling and management not once got on my case."
"The other employees despised this until a customer's colostomy bag somehow ruptured in the bathroom."
"From that day forward none of them gave a f*ck if I was just hanging out on my phone."- Electronic_Warning49
Risking Their Lives To Save Ours
"The US Coast Guard for fishermen and boaters."
"Usually there's a pretty good working relationship between them, but some hate the Coast Guard for the various inspections they do."
"But the USCG is also the ones who will come out there in a storm to rescue them."- raym0ndv2
sad episode 12 GIFGiphyThe IT Factor...
"IT, except people hate me when they need me, too."- Dogstile
"IT, not the clown."- Nebula_Forte
"Any IT job requiring break/fix support."
"Basically when everything works it’s 'good it’s supposed to work' and then when something goes wrong that’s out of your control it’s 'what did you do?!'"
"When we did absolutely nothing to cause the problem, haha."- Psilocyb-zen
It Crowd Maurice Moss GIFGiphyThe Improve Much More Than People's Vanity
"Plastic Surgeons."
"My uncle is a plastic surgeon and he does only reconstructive stuff, fixing burn victims faces and stuff like that."
"But when people ask him what kind of doctor he is and he says Plastic Surgeon, they usually kinda scoff."- darkysix
The Butt Of One Too Many Jokes...
"Lawyer here."
"The expectation that because you are a lawyer you know everything about every law everywhere."
"In reality most lawyers are highly specialized."- Bisjoux
Ironic That The People Who Help Our Smile Often Make Us Frown
"Dentists for sure."- Ohboohoolittlegirl
Dentist GIFGiphyGetting Your Money's Worth
"All the trades guys."
“'They’re so expensive!'"
"Until that plumber shows up at 2am to prevent the sewage backup."
"Or the electrician that fixes an overloaded breaker panel, preventing a fire."
"Or the carpenter who builds the room for your toddler so you can get some sleep and maybe some sexy time."
"Definitely tradesmen."- Wolfie1531
Be Honest Though, Would You Rather Do Your Own Taxes?
"Accounting."- tadashi4
It's Often The Context Which Ignites The Hatred...
"'Lawyer' is going to be the most common answer to this question by far."
"But I suppose any licensed service provider could fall into this category, given the right context."
"Plumbers are another good example."
'Everyone thinks they're scum and crooks until the washing machine breaks down."
"Electricians, contractors, locksmiths, etc."
"They all fit this mold."
Season 2 Lawyer GIF by MartinGiphy"Unless you work with them daily, you're not going to be seeing them very often."
"And you're only seeing them when there's a problem , so you're primed to be upset by the time they even show up."
"Psychologically, you associate the plumbing issue with the plumber, when ironically, the plumber is there to fix it."
"Everyone wants to shoot the messenger."
"IT people and network security professionals are another classic example of this effect."- MissBitsy
When You Realize You Can't Call To Complain...
"Lineman."
"Been called a lazy overpaid drug addict by old men I don't even know."
"God forbid we go grab lunch or a coffee."- MaesterKyle
The Ones Who Make Your Late Night Craving Feasible...
"Fast food workers."
"They’re the butt of every demeaning comment about a lack of achievement or the reason why minimum wage shouldn’t be raised blah blah blah."
"But those people get real quiet once they’re ordering their Big Mac."- TheHomieData
food service ce416 GIF by truTV’s The Carbonaro EffectGiphyIt's often when we need the help of others that we find ourselves at our most anxious and frustrated.
This is why it's important to remind ourselves that these people are there to help us, and we should not take out our anxiety or frustration on them.
Particularly if we want the problem to be solved.
Human ingenuity has created countless things that make our lives better but that has definitely been balanced with a whole lot of incredibly harmful inventions, too. Some things might even fit on both lists, as a lot of new inventions can seem like a dream come true — only to turn out to be horribly harmful after some study.
Redditor joddionnelly asked:
"What's the worst human invention ever made?"
Landmines
"landmines. cheap and easy to make, but they remain active and people forget where they put them."
- Youltold123
"There is also a thing called mine migration. The weather moves them around over time."
- Ferretoncrystalmeth
Anything Invented By Thomas Midgely Jr.
"Remembering the last time a thread like this came up, the correct answer is along the lines of leaded fuel."
- mrbios
"And CFCs. By the same guy apparently."
- MightySquishMitten
"Yep Thomas Midgley Jr. contributed to the death of an estimated 200 million people due to his inventions."
- antigrainer
Agent Orange
"Agent orange"
- MochaJ95
"Generations of families of people exposed to this are still struggling with the effects."
- Bunnybunbons
"That sh*t is still around in Vietnam too since they don’t disappear from the environment."
- Karasu18
"It disturbs me that everyone always talks about the soldiers exposed and not the vast quantity of innocent Vietnamese civilians exposed."
- Redqueenhypo
Planned Obsolescence
"Planned obsolescence."
- CreativeRip806
"This is a problem with a multitude of other global/widespread negative implications that we haven't even begun to fully experience. It's an issue that pisses me off more than any other."
- Cimmerian_Noctis
"I understand they need to regularly sell stuff to make money. But maybe we shouldn’t be producing products that end up in landfills by the millions every year."
- sketchysketchist
"You see all other answers, and there's always some good intent in there. CFCs made safe refrigeration widely available, fossil fuels have allowed a lot of progress, pop-ups were made in good faith, you could even argue that nuclear weapons have made the world safer..."
"Not planned obsolescence. Literally nothing good or good intentioned about it. Just a middle finger for everything besides the suits."
- Dahjoos
Nuclear Weapons
"In the end, I think nuclear weapons will be at the top of this list."
"We're only surviving currently because everyone has agreed that they wouldn't prefer to doom mankind to a fiery radioactive death."
"Don't you think it's only a matter of time before someone irrational decides to take everyone down with them?"
- MrAnonymous2018_
"Yes, I agree with you. Modern nuclear weapons take minutes to get to their targets, and are now harder to stop as they have dummy bombs that are launched with them, and they make an area uninhabitable for decades."
- Flakoring
"I the discovery and control of the nuclear energy is one of the greatest achievements in human history, however when people used this technology to make weapons they did a terrible mistake, it is one of the deadliest things ever invented."
- Little_Soldier_Bud
So-called Flushable Wipes
"Flushable wipes. These companies should be destroyed."
- LobstahmeatwadWTF
"Sorry I've never used or even seen one, what's wrong with flushable wipes?"
- DibaWho
"They are technically able to be flushed, but they are not plumbing-friendly. They are only 'flushable' in the same way Hot Wheels are, only in the most strict sense of the word. Since they technically will go down, the manufacturers label them 'flushable' when you absolutely should not do that."
- hitemlow
"They still write flushable on the packaging despite the fact that they have destroyed probably billions of dollars in infrastructure and make the worst mess to clean up that I can possibly imagine."
- Chasin_Papers
Lots of Chemical Weapons
"mustard gas is pretty nasty stuff."
- bread-of-time
"Back in the 70's I was looking after a WW1 vet who still had a wound on his leg from mustard gas."
- shazj57
"Yeah but nerve gas - and some of the other key-body-function-inhibitors that are out there - really put mustard in the backseat."
- iced237
"Got nothing on the semi-oily nerve agents like sarin. they coat sh*t and stick around."
- HuckleSmothered
Blinding Headlights
"Extra Bright 'Blinding' Headlights"
- bahauddin_onar
"Basically any headlights on pickups 2020 or newer because they're so freaking tall now too. Makes Close Encounters of the Third Kind look lame in comparison."
- Fartyfivedegrees
"At this point, I’m waiting for them to get tall enough for the headlights to go above my car"
- scolipeeeeed
Styrofoam
"I'll go with styrofoam. It's single use, takes 500 years to biodegrade, leaches carcinogens, and is f**king everywhere."
- Rhodie114
"Every time somebody litters, it breaks into 100 pieces, so you have 100 pieces to pick up."
- flodge123
"Let's also add that the sound of styrofoam is what Hell sounds like."
- biomech36
Making Problem Gambling Easier
"Casino slot machines that allow you to insert your credit/debit cards."
- CuriousCat55555
"Cruise ships now allow you to charge money to your room card right from the slot machine so you can continually play without needing to leave for more cash."
- atalltalltree
"And I thought having an ATM in the same room was scummy enough."
- LthlPnc
"Last time I was in Vegas, the ATMs at MGM wouldn't show you any info about your account. You could withdraw, but you couldn't see how much money was in your account."
- bucketofturtles
Bioweapons
"The most terrifying inventions are biological weapons. You can't see them and you die horribly. In the best case you die within minutes in the worst it can take hours or days. Or you don't die and there are permanent damages to you."
- Delta1136
"And through covid we have learned that since you can’t see bio weapons, 45% of the population will think they don’t exist and complain about losing freedom if you do anything to protect you from dying from them."
- JumboJetz
The Inability To Get Out Of Our Own Way
"A vicious cycle where we have the technology to solve our problems but can't because not everybody can agree on it."
- Coolius69
"It must be a real bummer being a super duper scientist or something."
"More often than not, they've got the answers. Just that no one wants to listen. Like screaming into a void every minute of your life."
- Deleted User
Everyone I Don't Like Is Wrong
"Adversarial thinking. The idea that 'we are right and they are wrong.' This is how every war begins."
- Deleted User
Antimatter
"Antimatter. We don't have very much of it, but the very idea of a substance that can annihilate matter is insane. For that matter, the colliders which can make it. The physics involved are terrifying."
- Rainbow_Dash_RL
"Has to be antimatter, it may cost trillions and we can only produce a very small amount but just imagine if technology advances and makes antimatter a weapon of war."
- STRONG-b00f-PaCk
While some of these answers definitely seem more joking than serious, they all represent a significant negative impact on our species and others, our society, and even our planet itself.
Some of those negative impacts were definitely intentional, like nuclear weapons, while others were entirely accidental. We truly had no idea how bad CFCs would be for our environment when they were developed; they seemed great in comparison to the toxic, flammable, or explosive coolants that were in use before their development.
It's important to understand that many of these horrible inventions didn't arise out of malice... but out of a lack of understanding.