Parents Who've Adopted A Child Older Than Five Share Whether They Regret It Or Not
Adopting a child isn't an easy choice. It can be prohibitively expensive. It can also be quite taxing both mentally and emotionally. There's also the matter of which type of child to adopt. Do you go with a baby or toddler? How about one significantly older than that? Each child comes with their own unique parenting challenges.
After Redditor ComplexPick asked the online community, "Parents who have adopted a older child (5 and up), how has it gone for you? Do you regret it or would you recommend other parents considering adoption look into a older child?" people explained how their lives have gone since they made the fated decision.
I adopted a 15 year old, he was hell on wheels and made a lot of really poor choices. He's now 20, and I am so proud of the man he became. It was a horrible time trying to get him to understand that abuse isn't love and that we wanted the best for him, but he's doing great now and is working really hard to create a loving family of his own.
Do I suggest adopting older kids? Hell yes! The biggest reason is because I grew up in foster care, all I wanted was my own family, its hard, its taxing, and you have a lot of rewiring to treat their hurts and make them better so they know you're not going to do the same to them but every minute is worth it! TYRwargod
I adopted an older child and the only part I regret was agreeing to an open adoption with the birthparents, separate bi-annual visits with bio mom and bio dad. Each and every visit was sheer hell on earth, from the build up to the fall out after. I regret nothing about adopting an older child and would do it again in a heartbeat, but I would do a closed adoption. DavisSquared
27 years later......
I'm asking because I adopted my daughter when she was age 10. It was pure hell to begin with as it was not shared with us she had serious psychological issues. After 7 years of therapy and many many tears, we had a breakthrough. Now 27 years later, I was asked if I recommended doing it. I was at a lost if I should have been honest or just say yes because once you get past the issues that will surely arise, it's a wonderful thing to do. ComplexPick
My experience adopting is one of the greatest experiences I could describe to you, and if you want kids, I strongly recommend you look into it.
My kids were siblings aged 7, 4, and 6 months, so it was never unknown to them. The bio parents abused them and things were a bit tough at first, but other than matters of faith, it is the most rewarding thing I've ever done.
My oldest is a student at Purdue and is studying abroad in Ireland right now. My middle daughter will be attending Purdue in the fall. My youngest is learning Japanese in middle school right now, and I suspect she'll go to either IU or Purdue when she graduates high school.Proud Dad. waiform
She's now 12.
We adopted a five year old girl. She's now 12. Don't regret it at all. But it has been extremely hard.
She has been diagnosed with PTSD, Reactive Attachment Disorder and most recently bipolar disorder. She has been in therapy since we adopted her. Much has improved, but she still has extreme anger issues. She has run away from home three times. She has been inpatient psych twice. Her school has reported us to DHR.
(When she gets out of control we have to restrain her to prevent her from hurting herself or us. She told her teacher about an incident when we had to restrain her so they reported it and a social worker showed up at our door that night).
I wouldn't recommend adopting an older child to someone unless I know they are willing to put in the work. Love doesn't cure all. Brandysheanix
You'll be better off...
I don't regret it and I do recommend other parents look into older children. There are an abundance of children who need loving parents.
We adopted two siblings and we also have two biological children. Our biological children were 9 and 7 when we adopted our 5 & 4-year-old children. That was 11 years ago.
Best advice: embrace an open adoption BUT adopted parents fully control any contact.
Our kid's biological mother has been a huge help in counseling our kids. They misremembered so many details about how and why we adopted them that lead to blame against us and challenges in our relationship. They have a fierce loyalty to their biological mom that's decreased over time as she's openly reminded them how unfit she was.
It wasn't a cake walk, but we are all much better-off than we were when we stumbled into this. roonerspize
Parents Explain Which Things Surprised Them Most When Their Child Moved Out | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
My wife and I adopted a 16 year old boy over a year ago. We originally went in thinking we are going to adopt much younger, but when we started reviewing profiles there were a large number of teenagers in the mix. Most people adopting children are looking for the full parental experience. For some, adoption is their only chance at raising a child, so I can kind of understand the desire to adopt a young child.
The result is that the older children are skipped over. It's heartbreaking, as many unadopted kids 'exit the system' at 18 and almost all of their supports disappear. We kept running into these profiles and it was impossible to ignore them. We were adopting to expand our family, already having kids of our own, so parenting wasn't new to us. He's been a great addition and has blended really well. bfarrgaynor
It has gone mostly well.
I have adopted six kids four were between 7 and 13 (a sibling set) and then two that were younger. 3 and 5 (a different sibling set).
It has gone mostly well. There has been a lot of therapy and issues due to past abuse.
The hardest part has been earning how to redefine what it means to be a successful parent. It is also challenging discovering deficiencies in their upbringing
I did learn how to do creative parenting. YeahIprobablydidit
We adopted a sibling group of 5. They were 12, 10, 9, 8 & 3. We are only 2.5 years in and the first 2 years were just pure chaos. It's like a cycle of trial and error as well as them testing us. Each child is growing at their own rate and making great progress and healing. 5giantsandaweenie
Never too Late...
My husband and I unexpectedly adopted a 17 year old. She was on drugs and a downhill spiral. So we gave her a place full of love, therapy, help, therapy, rehab, and more therapy with love.
She healed and became a part of our family.
It is kinda odd being only nine and ten years older than your kid but she is still our kid.
Also we are a gay couple and knew basically next to nothing about females and their "monthly needs". She never had a loving and stable household with men that didn't hurt her in emotionally and physical ways.
So it was one big old learn process for the three of us.
But we made it work and now we are like any other family. SurpriseThere1
Worth the Pennies....
My wife and I took in a 17 year old 4 months after we got married at 24 and 27. 2 years in, we are very happy with our decision. We walked her through everything: learning to drive, getting her first bank account, getting enrolled in college, the death of her father and mother, getting counseling, estate planning, taxes, and numerous health issues. It has been worth every minute and dollar we have spent to know we have gained a daughter and changed what life will look like for her and generations to follow. ThisIsNowAUsername
He was 9...
I feel I got lucky. He was 9 when we adopted him, but he was just grateful to have a home and people who loved him. My wife and I love him dearly as he does us. TyrannoDragon
"My son has complex trauma..."
My pre-adoptive son just moved in 6 weeks ago. He's almost 10. Him getting here has been a bit of a long and wild story but he's been in care since he was 6. It hasn't been easy but there's SO many older kids who need families. My biggest thing is just to make DAMN sure you're committed. Know your limits. Be honest with yourself and your adoption coordinator. And demand honesty from the social worker as well. Ask for psych evals and treatment histories. Because if you convince yourself "Oh I can handle this" and you change your mind? You are re-traumatizing that child.
My son has complex trauma from years of abuse but the thing he talks about most after his meltdowns? Having to leave his first pre-adoptive home because he kept losing his temper and throwing things. He's been in 4-5 placements and a PRTF since then.
I work with girls involved in juvenile justice so I felt uniquely prepared for this situation and even for me, it's been physically and emotionally exhausting. I'm a single parent and we're in the middle of a global pandemic so I'm sure that's a factor. But if you choose to adopt there shouldn't be any "changing your mind" or "this just isn't working out". That kiddo is part of your family. My son and I have a little mantra "together forever. Even when things get hard, even when things get sad."
"I took guardianship..."
I took guardianship of my sons half sister when she was 14. Her mother was a pushover who didn't know how to handle her so she was put into the system.
I knew she wasn't a bad kid, so I stepped in and said I'd take her. It was rough that first year. She tested the boundaries a lot until she realized that I wasn't going to give up on her. I think it also helped that her baby brother adored her and my parents welcomed her with open arms. We found her a good therapist that she clicked with and that really helped her work through her issues. She finished school with good grades, met her boyfriend who is wonderful with her. She has kids of her own now and is a fantastic mother. Best decision I ever made was taking her in.
We adopted a 15 year old girl, after raising three bio kids to adulthood. It has been good but quite different from what we expected. 15 year olds are not " fully formed" but almost. She is a nice smart kid. But also got pregnant, hid it for 4 months. Had a beautiful baby. We expected to finish high school and hold down a part time job, save some money which she would need to become independent after graduation ( her goal) She moved 1000 miles away. Took up with kind of a rough crowd. Was immersed in a druggy thiefy homeless group that made her fear that her son would end up removed and back in the foster care system.
For now the baby is with us. Almost 2 Babies are a lot of work but also a lot of joy and laughter. We are about 60. Occasionally I think " this is not what we signed up for" but in reality it is exactly what we signed up for. Most folks when they have a kid or multiple kids have a bunch of expectations. Part of what makes it interesting is that the kids come with their own personalities, software, journeys, whatever you want to call it. Can make for a wild interesting 20 years.
"She was challenging to raise..."
We adopted our eldest daughter at 10. We actually adopted her baby half sister first. After the mom met us (since we were doing this via foster care) she asked if we'd adopt her other daughter too. She had been in and out of foster care most of her life, and her bio mom selflessly made the decision to let her go for stability and safety. We definitely weren't planning to adopt an older child, we already had a 6 year old biological child, but after meeting the 10 year old, we knew we'd want her to be a part of our family. It's been 16 years and it definitely hasn't always been easy, but we have no regrets. We love our daughter like our "own."
She was challenging to raise the first few years, definitely had some trust issues with us and some deep seeded abandonment issues. Family therapy helped. Every once in awhile (like once every few years or so), these issues resurface. She still struggles with depression and anxiety. Id be lying if I said this doesn't worry me, it does, but she seems to have a handle on it. She's always been incredibly smart and talented. She just finished her masters degree, has had a successful career thus far, and she's engaged to a wonderful man (they were supposed to get married this summer, now we aren't sure. Thanks covid!) It's almost odd that she has really excelled in everything she's ever tried (she thinks it's mostly due to good luck). We call her (half jokingly) "our achiever". Some of her success was due to our parenting I'm sure , but most of it is just her and how she's wired. I'm proud to be her mom.
"We chose to adopt..."
My wife and I are a little older, so when we decided to adopt we opted for an older child for a host of reasons, one being it made more sense for us financially (healthy infant adoptions are crazy expensive for average people like us, plus the long waits, etc) and also because our hearts went out for older children whom society generally wants to look over and forget. These kids need a home too.
We chose to adopt from the foster care system. This meant taking the same set of classes as standard aspiring foster parents, so even though we had no intention of becoming actual foster parents we learned what they learn and became legitimate foster parents.
We took in a troubled 13 year old girl. I won't tell her personal story of how she got into the system, except to say it was not as one might expect. We stuck through it with her. There were lots of twists and turns in her story and we found out the hard way that she was not, in fact, clear for adoption months into the process; so we became what we wanted to avoid, foster parents instead of adoptive parents. I'll never forget during one of the regularly scheduled court appearances we were obligated to go to, of having the court workers review her story to the court and later having random people sob in the back from listening to it, and tell us "We will pray for you."
She was angry at the world for her situation. Angry at her bio mom for abandoning her. Angry at the system for 'forgetting' her for so many years. She lashed out at us many times as well, thinking we would just give up on her. I'll never forget her slamming the door to her room and screaming at my wife "I HATE YOU!" over and over, and my wife barely holding it together and saying "I love you anyway" each time.
My wife and I had moments of despair. When one of us would grow weak and say we couldn't do this anymore and maybe we should consider giving up, the other would remind us well what would we do in this situation if she were our child? and we would nod, and press on.
One day, about a year and a half in, this child turned to me while I was driving her somewhere and said, "I don't want to go back to my bio mom. I want you. I want you to be my dad" and I, a grow man, broke down and wept.
The adoption went final when she was 15 (yes, it was that long of a process, but the actual adoption took all of 5 minutes in a judges chamber, for which this girl quipped, "That's it? Just the stroke of a pen? Hell I'd have lent you a pen years ago!") People who didn't know us back then honestly are surprised to learn she was adopted. She's an honor graduate from high school now, and is planning to attend college in the fall for nursing. We couldn't be more proud of this child, our daughter.
"Even with the struggle..."
Teen years were rough. It's hard to be a kid again after having to parent yourself and younger siblings. But now that she is an adult, things are better and calmer for us all.
I would 100% recommend it. Even with the struggle, my child is a huge blessing and I can't imagine life without her in it. She is one of the strongest people I know.
I've been a foster parent for four years (have fostered birth to 15, about 20 kids total) and I've worked as an advocate for foster/adoptive parents for two.
I adopted my son last year after he had been with me for almost a year in foster care. He was 5, so still pretty young. He is autistic and nonverbal. His mom has severe mental health issues and he had been homeless his whole life before coming into care. He was wandering the street in a diaper and nothing else in November when he was found by police.
I've never regretted adopting him for a second. He's wonderful. He's ridiculously bright and funny and sweet. I love him more than I knew I could love anyone. We have many difficult days (or weeks). I gave up a lot of things to be his dad (I'm only 27) - it's hard to find a sitter for him, his daycare keeps him in the baby room, he can't always go out to the store or anywhere loud/crowded, etc. But I adjusted and I don't regret it.
From my work side, I can say I have encountered many adoptive parents who regret adopting. Usually these are folks who adopted little ones, like birth to two, and when those kids start exhibiting "big behaviors," having trouble in school, needing psych hospitalization, getting involved with juvenile justice - that's when they call me and ask how to give them back. (Jsyk, there are no givebacks unless you're willing to accept criminal charges.) [Edit: This is not true for all places. Some places have civil charges and some have nothing.]
I often see people say they want to foster teens, which is amazing and I will never get in the way of that because it is so needed. I want those people to talk to people who foster teens before they do it. It's very hard. Not just "hard" like remodeling your bathroom or getting a work project done. There's no finish line. It's always a struggle.
There are lots of good days and happy times and it is worth it. But people who talk about their kids going on to law school or even college, in my experience, are the minority. Kids with trauma often need lifelong support. That means when they're 20, 25, you're still lending them money or driving them to rehab or dispensing medication. And if they have kids, they may not be able to parent appropriately without a lot of help. I know lots of adoptive parents now raising their grandkids as well.
- People Adopted Later In Life Share How Long It Took To Feel Like Family - George Takei ›
- Younger People Break Down Which Complaints They're Tired Of Hearing From Older Folks - George Takei ›
- People Divulge Their All-Time Biggest Regrets From High School - George Takei ›
- People Explain Which Things Are Far Older Than Folks May Think - George Takei ›
- Things Parents Need To Consider When Adopting Older Children - George Takei ›
People Debate Mandatory Retirement At 75 For Congress And The Supreme Court
When Ruth Bader Ginsburg passed away in the fall of 2020, the United States panicked.
Namely, democrats and liberals were terrified by the prospect of another conservative judge on the United States Supreme Court, which already had a two-seat majority.
Then of course, there was the ongoing debate as to whether or not then-sitting president Donald Trump was entitled to pick another Supreme Court judge, as the 2020 presidential election was only weeks away.
Barack Obama was famously banned from appointing Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court owing to the fact that it was an election year, even though President Obama still had eight months left in his presidency.
Of course, RBG's death at age 87 also brought to the forefront an ongoing debate about whether there should be age limits for Supreme Court Justices.
"Would you support a mandatory retirement age of 75 for US House, US Senate & US Supreme Court Justices and if not why?"
If There Are Minimums, There Should Be Maximums
"We have age minimums."
"We need maximum age limits these people are making decisions for a future they won't be involved in."- mattjf22
Age Doesn't Always Equal Wisdom...
"I am 82 years old."
"Personally, I feel that anyone my age who still gets off on power needs to be kept away from normal people."
"But to the point of this post, the world has been run by old people since the beginning of our species, and just look at the place!"
"Yes, if you were intelligent to begin with your wisdom and common sense will increase with age, but so will your cynicism."
"If you were a young jacka**, you will become an old jacka** — and a hide-bound prejudiced old jackass at that."
"Give them a nice pension at 70, with the condition that if they mess with politics or government again they lose the pension."- SemichiSam
Would Have Greatly Affected The Last Two Elections
"70 and as for president no one can run over 65."
"FFS get with the program folks just retire."- Upstairs-Bid6513
Age Limits Are Only The Beginning
"Age requirement of 65, 2 term limit, Congress people serve 4 year instead of 2 year terms, and no campaigning more than 60 days before the election."- Deedoodleday
Term Limits First
"I feel like if we were to attach an age to it, it should be the age of retirement, but I feel like it would be more important to have term limits."
"Limits would fix almost all the same issues and address more, without arbitrarily deciding someone is too old to serve the state."- Askmyrkr
"Term limit is the way to go."- bob2235
Not Where Our Concerns Should Be...
"No, the problem isn't age, it's our election system."
"Politicians get old in office because it's so f*cking hard to vote them out!"
"End legal bribery, end FPTP, and we'll see a much healthier turnover in our political processes."- FountainsOfFluids
What Matters Is Their Qualifications And Abilities
"I'll be the contrarian."
"If you're good, you're good, regardless of age."
"I'll take a 75-year-old who is smarter, savvier, and better representative of my values than a 35-year-old."
"If you don't like them because they're senile, don't vote for them, that's all."
"Honestly, I feel the same about lower-age limits that aren't just the age of majority."- walkerintheworld
75 Is still Too Old...
"I would go even younger at 70."
"Sure that may mean we would lose Bernie, we would also be ditching McConnell, Pelosi, and the other fossils in office who refuse to address the problems we face."- Daryno90
"Would rather see mandatory voting like Australia."- szthesquid
Wouldn't Change Anything
"Making politicians retire at some arbitrary age would not address the underlying problems our system has."- giope_1995
"What problem are you trying to solve by doing this?"
"Apparently, people want to be represented by ancient dinosaurs."- SideShow117
Defeats The Point Of Democracy
"No, absolutely not."
"Nor should there be a minimum age (apart from 18)."
"The point of a representative democracy is that the people vote for whom they want."
"Putting restrictions on who can run serves no purpose other than invalidating the votes of people you disagree with."
"It's not up to you or me to decide who is 'valid' as a candidate."
"That's the entire point of democracy."
"And to those of you that are convinced that if all the old people were just gone, then everyone would agree with you, you're ironically the exact kind of uninformed voter that you claim to be trying to prevent."- scottevil110
"No, because if there was a 76-year-old candidate I liked I would want the freedom to vote for them."
"Supporting things like this is so short-sighted."- tedesco455
In the heat of the moment, it's easy to make rash decisions about government and democracy.
Frustrating though it may be, it's important to remember progress is a slow, steady stream and doesn't come easily.
Also worth remembering, there are indeed two sides to most arguments, and far more can be resolved in a discussion than in an attack.
As humans with autonomy and knowledge, we try to protect ourselves as much as we can. However, accidents do happen, and while we can expect the unexpected, we can't always protect ourselves from it.
Because there isn't always a defense, people sometimes have a close brush with death. They experience something that could've killed them but, by some miracle... didn't.
More people have stories like that than we expect.
Redditors are no exception and, in fact, were eager to share their close calls.
It all started when Redditor XboxCorgi asked:
"What has been your closest moment to death?"
Minding My Own Business
"Was sitting at my computer on the ground floor playing TF2 when a car came through the wall, smashed my desk and computer and almost killed me."
"I can’t imagine just chilling playing a video game and then the next second a car comes through my wall."
Swim Parallel To The Shore
"I almost drowned in the ocean in Hawaii. I had swum out from shore, started getting tired, started swimming back but the current was pulling me out to sea! Scary as hell. I started to panic, but I remembered that the side stroke is the one that takes the least energy, so I started doing that and for 10 or 15 minutes just went back towards the shore. I wound up a few beaches south of where I had started! I had to walk north to return to my group."
"I almost died like this in Panama when I was in the Army. Some of my buddies and I tried to swim out to what we thought was as an island from the beach, got halfway there only to realize it was a volcanic rock and that the waves crashing against it would surely crush/drown us. As we’re treading in murky pacific water something very large bumped against my leg (I suspect it might have been a shark but cannot say for certain as I never saw a fin). As we tried to swim back to shore we were all caught in a rip current, swimming towards the beach but going nowhere. As my friends and I ran out of steam to the point that we were panting faces barely above the water I put my foot down onto a coral reef or volcanic rock where I was able to catch my breath and then help my friends over to where I was."
"Eventually made it back to shore after swimming sideways out of the rip current, but that is legit probably the closest I’ve come to death."
"Unfortunately years later I had a friend in the army stationed in Hawaii who kayaked to an island, his boat got pulled out by the tide, and when he swam to get it he went under and never came back up. I knew we’d had a close call, but when that happened it really sunk in how incredibly stupid what we did was."
"Joplin tornado in 2011. I was in the bathtub as my house was destroyed around me."
"Edit: I was taking cover in the bathtub, not taking a bath."
"There was a tornado 15 years back or so in Oconto County in WI and a bar owner told us he had no shelter so he got into his bath tub and his house (trailer?) was destroyed around him. He says when it calmed down and he sat up there was a deer standing nearby looking at him and he said, "well buddy, I guess we made it.""
"The light was red so I put my car to park because it was taking a while longer than usual. It went green and I forgot to take it off park, but as soon as I put it in drive a semitruck ran a red light."
"Mate, that is f*cking terrifying. I can actually picture the scene and imagine the sound of it rumbling past, possibly horn blaring. Thank goodness for that little brain fart you had."
"A Fart That Saved My Life"
Not All Heroes Wear Capes
"Was working on an oyster boat. It was a beautiful day and we were sorting oysters on the boat of the deck. All of a sudden I felt the gentlest of taps on the back of my skull. When I turned around I saw my supervisor, red-faced with the effort of restraining the metal boom, which had come loose and almost slammed right into my head. He was able to slow it down just in time so I only got that little tap (guy's basically all muscle). If he hadn't done that I would have been dead for sure."
A Terrifying Vacation
"I went to Mexico in 2017 and nearly died my first day there. Was all good, having fun, having a few drinks, nothing too crazy though. Went to my room in the evening, and suddenly got a bad stomach ache that just got worse and worse with each min that passed. I also got feverish and delirious pretty quickly."
"I remember for some reason I decided a shower would be a good idea, and that's where my gf at the time found me heaped on the floor screaming in pain. I vaguely remember a paramedic stabbing me in the a** with some morphine which allowed to calm down. (Was not all the fun its cracked up to be, just made me sleep)"
"Get to the hospital, and they quickly find out that im going septic from a stomach infection. A few more hours and Id have been dead. Spent 3 days there, lost 30 pounds and could only eat soft fruit for about a week after."
"I also got the worst strep throat on the plane ride home too... my immune system was already weak, so it was horrible. Made me cough so much that blood came up. That was another hospital trip when I got home."
"The doctor who oversaw my care in Mexico was the most amazing doctor though. He spent the first 36 hours with me to make sure I was Ok, didn't eat or sleep or anything."
"Edit: I didn't get the infection in Mexico, I brought it with me. Doc said it had been building in my system for at least a week from the strength of it."
"I was around 3-4, picked up a live electric wire on the ground to play with. Got electrocuted immediately. Good samaritan grabbed a wooden stick and hit it out of my hands. People told my me later that they told my dad not to touch me because I was probably gone. That good samaritan saved my life. Acted when no one else did."
"Wow insane that they knew what to do. I don’t think I’d be able to think that fast the correct way to save someone in such a situation."
"When I was real young, I was with my family at a hotel in Virginia (not sure which), but it had a decent sized pool.
"We were swimming in it, and my family went over to the deeper end. Not knowing how to swim, I stayed at the shallow end. After a while, I started feeling left out cause it looked like they were having fun, so I started to make my way over, hanging onto the edge."
"Dumb little me got careless, and my fingers slipped off the edge, and I started drowning pretty quick. About 5 seconds later, I get hoisted partly out of the water by a big Mexican lady, and she sets me on the edge of the pool. I hacked and coughed for a good minute before I walked along the edge to my family.
"They never noticed, and I never said a thing about it to them since."
"I had undiagnosed diabetes for about 6 months, my blood sugar was in the 500's, I got to skip the line in the emergency room the doctors were so scared I was going to go to a coma."
"Hey, fellow diabetic here. Same story but my sugars were apparently over 800? Doc said the only reason I wasn't admitted straight to the ICU was cause I walked into the hospital instead of being brought in by an ambulance."
"I was 7. My family had just arrived back home from watching The Incredibles in theaters. I decided to try and run like Dash around the whole house."
"I ended up running through the kitchen toward the back door that led to our back yard way too fast and couldn’t stop. This door had a window in it, and when I put my hands out to stop myself, I ran into the door and my hands went through the window."
"My parents heard the crash and called out for me to ask if I was ok. I came walking out of the kitchen into the living room, blood pouring from my wrist. I was in a Disney princess night gown too, so it was honestly like a scene from a horror movie."
"We lived in a remote area, so when my parents called the ambulance, it couldn’t find our house at first. My mom had to run out and flag down the ambulance while my dad was applying pressure to my wrist with a bunch of towels to try to stop the bleeding. The ambulance finally got to our house and the EMTs were able to get the bleeding to stop and take me to the hospital."
"I lived! The scar is pretty gnarly."
Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls
"Waterfall hiking. Dipped my foot in on top and was immediately swept under and over about 3 waterfalls. Was very lucky to land where I did. Still have a chunk outta my leg to this day."
"I was on the back of my dad's motorcycle and he had a heart attack and blacked out. Bike went over; I hit the ground headfirst. Luckily he felt something was wrong and slowed down, so it wasn't nearly as close to death for me as it was for him, but it was still super scary. Thank god for helmets."
"dam did you r dad survive too?"
"He did! This was about 10 years ago and he's been taking good care of himself and hasn't had more heart problems!"
Despite the happy ending, that might actually be the worst one, and that's saying something!
The human body is truly amazing. It's resilient, it can create antibodies to fight off infections, and it comes in all shapes and sizes.
There are some awesome facts about the human body, like that no two people have the same fingerprints.
However, there are also some creepy facts about the human body.
Redditors are well aware of this and are ready to share the creepiest facts they know about the human body.
It all started when Redditor MorBot07 asked:
"What creepy fact about the human body do you know?"
I Need To Go Take A Nap
"Too much lack of sleep can cause the brain to "eat itself", cutting connections and making things like alzheimer more probable in later life."
"nothing has been able to convince me to start sleeping more but i think this comment really did it for me.."
"If your spinal cord loses adequate blood supply for a short period of time, you can be temporarily paralyzed."
"The first sign that your spine is "waking up" again is that you regain a specific reflex, where if you squeeze that person's penis or clitoris, their anus contracts. If that happens, it's a good sign."
Just The Right Spot
"A single punch to the chest can stop your heart. A single punch to the gut can rupture your spleen and kill you. A single punch to the face or back of the head can kill you. (the back of the head being less sudden and more noticeable)..."
"Let it be known that, despite all the things we can endure, humans are insanely fragile in many ways you may not even have thought of."
The Other Side Of Me
"Some people’s organs are on the wrong side of their body, like a mirror image… It’s called Situs Inversus"
"This is true! I actually have this. Partial Situs Inversus. Dextrocardia. It doesn’t harm me just means my heart in on the wrong side so the opposite lung is smaller. Can cause issues when I’m sick but nothing more."
"There are pregnancy cancers. You can have little baby cell metastases growing in your brain if you decide to have a baby and some of cell multiplier genes go wrong."
"Add that to the list of why I need bodily autonomy. 😬"
Time For A Reboot
"A seizure, despite how terrifying they may be, are your brain's response to the brain equivalent of a runtime error. Something happened that shouldn't have, and your brain is restarting to get everything running smoothly again."
"Source: epileptic since 2003"
"When we die, it looks like your fingernails are still growing, but it’s actually just the skin around your fingers shrinking."
A Body Is An Ecosystem
"Your body contains just as many foreign cells, i.e. gut bacteria, as your own body cells. These cells produce hundreds of neurochemicals that the brain uses to regulate basic physiological processes as well as mental processes such as learning, memory and mood. Some believe this is the "gut feeling" people sometimes get in certain situations."
"I’m currently pregnant with a girl. I’m currently holding the cells that could become my grandchild."
"Samesies. Every person in existence was once half inside their biological maternal grandmother."
"I don’t know if it qualifies as creepy.. I’m a nurse, and I’ve always found it interesting how the body attempts to compensate when sick which incidentally tends to lead to you becoming sicker because of how overworked your body is."
Different Species, One Body
"An estimated 30 trillion cells in your body—less than a third—are human. The other 70-90% are bacterial and fungal. Ninety-nine percent of the unique genes in your body are bacterial."
"If you have a stroke (or other brain injury) that effects parts of the brain associated with speech, you will probably end up with some type of aphasia."
"For example, my “favorite” type of aphasia is Wernicke’s Aphasia; patients can form whole words and even sentences, but they usually make no sense. I had a patient with Wernicke’s Aphasia who would constantly say something close to “we have to rescue the dog(s) from the DMV!” It took me about 30 mins to figure out this person wanted something to drink."
A Whole New Person
"I heard or read once that essentially every 7 years your body has completely regenerated. Of course it's a slow on going process but 7 years from now no cell that's currently in your body will still be there."
"Eyes are the only part of the body that don't grow. Same size when you die as when you were born."
We Are Strong
"You could easily bite your own fingers or tongue off, but (unless you're seriously mentally ill) your brain prevents you from doing so."
They say knowledge is power, but I'm not sure I'm better off for knowing of this!
Until we're in a situation, we'll never really know how we'll react.
I have been in this scenario, though.
Sex matters. And people rarely want to admit how much.
But sex isn't a lifetime guarantee.
It fades, as does love.
It's important to speak about it.
It can be a fixable situation.
A relationship without sex may not be the end of the world, but it's definitely a sign that something is off.
Redditor Deviant55 wanted to talk about physical intimacy in relationships, so they asked:
"How important is sex to you in a relationship? Could you be with someone you love even if sex was off the table indefinitely?"
I learned how much sex matters in my last relationship.
Once I wasn't interested, it kind of killed everything.
ForeverGIF by moodmanGiphy
"When my wife of 30+ years became too ill for sex to be even remotely interesting for her, I certainly did not end the relationship. I loved her and I took care of her until she died. No other course even occurred to me."
"When I met my wife we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. This lasted a few years. I was in my mid-twenties when we married. She developed a chronic medical issue. I’ve gone twenty years being sexually frustrated. There are stages and phases to this."
"What I came to realize is that I love my wife. Yes, sex is important in our relationship. But I would rather have her in my life with no sex than have sex without her."
"The thing is, I love her. She can’t help her situation. I can’t help it. One deals with it. Marriage is more than sex. It is building a life and memories, raising a family, and loving each other regardless of the challenges life throws our way. But sex is very important. It helps keep the closeness and the emotional bond. But it isn’t the only thing that does that."
I Love Her
"It is complicated. I am in a near-sexless marriage. The wife needs antidepressants to function. And it kills her libido. So usually it is four to six times a year. My libido rages. And yeah, it sucks. I dream of more sex."
"But I love the chick. She loves me to the moon and back. I’m not willing to sacrifice her love so I can try dating again. Divorce rates these days? And I found a woman who more than tolerates me, she loves me. I’ll stay. And not to be crude but yeah I masturbate. A lot. She doesn’t begrudge me that. Occasionally she even encourages it."
"She went off her meds for a while. And man did we do it. But she was a mess. I need her healthy more than I need a shag. We travel together. We enjoy each other’s company. We actually like each other. I could claim that it is hell, but I choose to see all of the good I am blessed with."
"Quite important. But I think it depends on where you are in the relationship. I've been married for 10 years. I have kids. If my wife suddenly couldn't have sex with me for some reason -- illness or injury or something -- I'm not divorcing her over it. That's heartless."
"Now, if she just decided we weren't ever having sex again because she didn't feel like it, that'd be different. Or if I was just starting to date someone and they told me they'd never have sex, I probably just wouldn't keep pursuing the relationship. Plenty of people out there who will."
"It depends on the circumstances. I LOVE doing it with my man but I love his heart and soul more. If we had to stop having sex for medical reasons or something I’d definitely stay with him and stay faithful. If I was single, I think it’s unlikely I’d start a new relationship knowing it would be sex free."
Heart and soul is just as necessary and hot and sweaty.
At least a lot of people recognize that.
"Sex life is 10% of a relationship when it’s good and 90% of a relationship when it’s bad."
"The other way I've heard it put is that sex is like the bathroom in your house. It's not the only reason you bought the house, but if it's not working it's a big problem."
"50-year-old here married for 27 years. It’s not important. It was important when we were younger but honestly, if sex wasn’t possible I would still love my wife and really nothing about our day would really change."
"I’ve been reading these comments and wishing that everyone’s age was flared on their post because I sense that there are a lot of under-60-year-olds. I am older than my wife but she is starting menopause and I can see the writing on the wall. Not super thrilled but I love her completely and understand. The real intimacy is in how we still (and will always) want to sleep touching each other and waking up next to each other."
"I honestly considered this before. I absolutely adored this guy. It was like a child relationship; we'd kiss and cuddle and hold hands and things, but he wouldn't have sex with me, nor would he commit properly. Any time we came close to sex, he'd go soft or back off."
"I couldn't understand it, wondered if I could keep doing that. My sex drive was wild. Why kiss and the rest but not sex?"
"Then one day he told me he was in love with me and asked me out properly. I said yes there and then, had a wonderful day with him, but when I went home, I was left questioning if I could possibly live without sex. I decided that yeah, I loved him but it would be tough."
"We had sex the next day. So yes, I think I probably could."
"It's very important. I'm a very affectionate and physical person and touch/caresses and anything physical is one of my love languages. I couldn't function with someone who is the opposite of me or who's uncomfortable with how I am. I already was in a relationship with someone who wasn't that touchy/affectionate and it created frustration for both of us."
Don't Look at Me
"I am in a sexless relationship. He has erectile dysfunction and I really don't like sex in general. I'm really uncomfortable naked or even vulnerable. I'm shy around him despite the relationship being 10 years nearly, I'm even shy around my family and friends. Everything about sex makes me feel so embarrassed, and I feel nothing but negative feelings when I used to be sexually active. Not through choice of partner, I just hate that sort of attention."
Definitive!Shake Handshake GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"10/10. Sexual incompatibility is a deal breaker!"
Sex is important but not everything.
Until it is everything if it becomes an issue.
Good luck couples. Open and honest communication is key.