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People Break Down The Worst Way Someone Ever Asked Them To Leave After A Hookup

People Break Down The Worst Way Someone Ever Asked Them To Leave After A Hookup
Photo by Maru Lombardo on Unsplash

There are humane ways to tell someone to go home after a... liaison.

How can one be so rude after being so intimate?

I'm not saying you have to snuggle and profess love, but damn, a quick... "thanks, I hope life is kind to you" goes a long way.

Redditor sumyungdoodwanted to hear the tea about the times they had to tell a lover to take a hike. They asked:

"What is the worst way someones asked you to leave after sex?"

Tell me your worst. Mine our stories where I had find my clothes in the dark and sneak out naked.

Don't ask...

A Late Run

Tom Hanks Running GIFGiphy

"Asked if he could drive my car to the gas station to buy cigarettes and when he came back he told me he left my keys in the car and it was running."

TopOcelot13

Beefed

"An old friend invited me over for her famous beef stew. I got there, we fool around, had sex, then right after she handed me a tupperware of the stew and said 'you got sex and stew, now please leave.' Still not sure if that's the worst way I was kicked out or the best."

TheRockMan31

"Most of the people here didn’t get stew. You did okay!"

livesarah

'is it that obvious'

"Went home with a girl from the bar. After we had sex, she said something like 'soooo... think you can get an Uber now? If not, I GUESS you can sleep on the couch for a few hours.' Here I was, sitting on some random girl's couch trying to find an Uber at 4 AM. Mercifully I did find one and when the guy picked me up he said 'so, your hookup kick you out?' I said 'is it that obvious' and he replied 'you weren't the first one I drove back to their car tonight and you probably won't be the last.'"

apocalypticradish

Yummy

Hungry Taco Bell GIFGiphy

"Go grab some Taco Bell. You can eat it on your way home. Honestly it was better than the sex. And I don't even like Taco Bell that much."

Nobody_Wins_13

I hate Taco Bell. And since reading this... I hate people.

Mrs. Robinson?

Seduce Dustin Hoffman GIF by Top 100 Movie Quotes of All TimeGiphy

"She lit a cigarette, then looked at me for like 20 seconds, and said 'Well, bye.' I just got dressed and left. Never saw her again."

Rhalellan

And you are?

"While dozing off, he gently tapped my shoulder, and said: 'Maribel, you can’t stay here.'"

"My name is not Maribel."

tikkichik21

"See this is what happens when you don’t let people talk about Bruno."

Brendanlendan

Go

"He got off me and started looking at pictures of other women on Instagram, and commenting on how much more attractive they were than me and told me 'oh yeah you can go now.' We were best friends for like two years up until that moment."

Caramel_Cappucino

"I’m open minded but this is exactly why I often don’t trust male friendships. You could even be a lesbian and one moment of vulnerability they may take advantage of that. I know it’s unrelated but your experience made me upset and I’m sorry you had to go through that."

L8NiGHTFLiGHT

second time...

"He rolled over, grabbed his phone, and without even looking at me said 'find your clothes, you know where the door is' and just laid there on his phone ignoring me while I gathered my clothes and left. He tried texting me a few days later because he was drunk and horny so I told him 'you know where your hand is' and blocked him."

olivinemultichrome

Gross

Paris Hilton Reaction GIFGiphy

"We were good friends for a few years before hooking up after a night of drinking."

"Halfway through sex he told me he can't actually do this because he wanted to get back with his ex and can't mess it up because she's the hottest girl he'll ever be with. He lived in the middle of nowhere and I couldn't leave until the morning so he made me sleep on the couch."

barontayto

POOF

"A girl I was FWBs with rolled over while still naked, farted in my direction, and told me to lock the front door on my way out."

gil_beard

"She blew you away."

REDDIT

"He was gone with the wind."

waitingfordeathhbu

Hold Me

"Asked me to stay and cuddle her until she falls asleep then leave because she didn't want me sleeping there, it was like 3 am."

chunk1X

"So this is what you do. Go ahead and cuddle her to sleep… then as you’re leaving as she asked you to, flip on the lights so you can see to get dressed and make sure you grab all your stuff and be loud as hell lol."

blonderaider21

Knock Knock

"Her kids started banging on the door and I hid in the closet until it was clear to go."

PeanutWingz

"One time I was canoodling with a young lady and was interrupted by a commotion in the other room. We look up and see her baby daddy standing in the doorway looking a bit miffed."

"Dude broke in through the kids bedroom window, tripped over the crib (baby was at grandma's thankfully) and walked in on us. It was POWERFULLY awkward. I got dressed with a full mast while being yelled at by a guy that looked like Justin Beiber if he was a juggalo. Thankfully no violence occurred, but man... what a night. I left my hat, too."

roachezmo

Enough.

Leaving Go Home GIF by VH1Giphy

"5am at a random girls house I met at the club and we’re hooking up and I try to talk a little dirty and I go 'tell me what you want and it’s yours' and she goes “I want you to finish because I’m done and I’m tired.'"

Espo_92TTV

Excuse Me

"I was putting my heels back on and held out my hand for a little support because balance sucks… They go what do you want money?"

alt0bs

Hah, someone stuck their hand out at me with that 'give me money' gesture once after sex. I asked if she wanted money, and she said 'no you dip s**t, a high five.' In my defense, it was a strange way to offer a high five."

ecish

Nowhere

"'I'm sorry, but you'll have to catch a bus or something 'cause I've got work in the morning, so I can't drop you off.' The distance from the bar to her place was about 45 minutes. We went in her car. She told me this at about one in the morning, basically in the middle of freaking nowhere. Longest walk home ever, for very meh sex."

BagOfMeats

What & What?

"He was at my house, so he was the one leaving. 5 minutes of sex, he finished. I thought he was going to finish me next... nope. He gets up, starts putting his clothes on, and says (after a yawn), 'Well, I don't mean to skeet and yeet, but I better get home" Excuse me."

sadthiccy

On the Way

Just Do It Running GIF by RockyGiphy

"Hey, can you be dressed and ready to go in like 5 minutes? My fiancé's plane already landed and I was supposed to pick him up half an hour ago.' Then she asked me which route was the fastest to get to the airport. This was more than 10 years ago and I still feel bad for that poor guy."

Stink_Fish_Pot

’yes, please’

"Met a girl on Tinder and we hit it off after speaking for 3 weeks or so. Went on a few dates and I really liked her. Think it was the 3rd date, I spent the night at hers and we had sex for the first time. It had been 3 or 4 month since I last had sex, and I really fancied this girl, so naturally I finished in about .3 of a second. Pretty embarrassing."

"I stayed the night but ended up waking up early, like 6 or 7am and looked over and saw her wide awake, with that look of ‘what have I done’ on her face. It felt really awkward so I just said ‘Do you want me to leave?’…’yes, please’ she said, instantly. I awkwardly got dressed, said goodbye and drove home, miserable, thinking I’d blown it."

"She phoned me later that day wondering when we were seeing each other next. Turns out she had been desperate for a shit and was scared to go with me there, so made me leave at 6am. We’ve been together 3 and half years now, engaged, and planning on getting married soon."

JHmackem

Wow. Some people are truly disgusting. How do you treat other humans this way?

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People Confess Which Things They've Always Done They Didn't Realize Were Gross

Reddit user one-droplet asked: 'What have you always done, but later found out was gross?'

There's this amazing quote by Maya Angelou that we can all put into practice: "Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better."

This can be applied to anything in life, from learning more about a subject that we're passionate about, to practicing better time management skills, to being a better friend.

But there are some things that we may not even realize we need to do better... until we suddenly know better.

Cringing in anticipation, Redditor one-droplet asked:

"What have you always done, but later found out was gross?"

The Best Ice

"When I was like five or six years old I would love going to the grocery store with my mom because the vegetable and fruit and meat tables always had the best ice to chew on..."

- campio_s_a

"I work in a restaurant, and I try to grab a cup to get the ice before they use it for raw oysters and shrimp cocktails. It really is the best ice."

- AustinRiversDaGod

Toilet Paper Use

"As an Asian, I was always taught growing up to throw used toilet paper in the trash bin. It wasn't until I went on a school trip to Italy and the chaperone mentioned to everyone, 'The plumbing system here isn't as good as the USA so you guys are just gonna have to throw it in the trash bin,' and everyone went, 'Ew.'"

"That's when I learned that it was gross to throw toilet paper in the trash bin since the issue was you're basically having shit bits sitting around in a bin."

- stigma_numgus

Toothbrush Bristles

"All my life, I wiped my toothbrush on the hand towel to dry it up until my sister asked what the f**k I was doing."

- Sark_Doul

"My sister used to scrub the bristles on the faucet where the water came out when she was done brushing her teeth. I guess to dry it off. I still cringe thinking about it."

- Suspicious-Craft4980

That's Not Clay

"As a child, I would dig up bits of clay from the local sandbox. It wasn’t as good as Play-Doh, so I would cast it aside and continue digging."

"Maybe I didn’t have a very good sense of smell at that age, because I was well into adulthood before I realized it was probably cat s**t."

- Blue_Moon_Rabbit

Dirty Showers

"I showered in a dirty tub. Once I discovered how gross it really was, my hoarder mother didn’t like it when I cleaned the bathroom, so I just lived with it til I was able to get a place."

- TrustIsOverrated

"My hoarder mom was like this."

- Best_Eggplant_9259

"When I tried to wash the nicotine off the walls in my bedroom, my hoarder parents were not happy."

- obviouslyanni

Fresh Towels

"I waited until a towel smelled weird to swap it out."

- DrippyFlames

"Look, the towel forgets everything before the next shower."

- gljivicad

Self-Service Assorted Candies

"I used to really like those self-service lollies/candy buckets with the scoops. They were in most big box stores in Australia, like Kmart, Target, Big W. So much fun mixing and matching."

"But then one day I started working at Target. Every single day I caught old people and kids with their hands directly inside grabbing them out and munching down all slobbery-like. That turned me off forever."

"Though not too long after they started disappearing from businesses so obviously someone got the unsanitary message."

- blahblahrasputan

Not Flushable

"I flushed my tampons my whole life until I was about 30. No one had taught me they weren’t flushable. I stupidly thought they were like toilet paper."

"One expensive and embarrassing plumbing problem later, I never did it again."

- Ew_fine

Dental Habits

"Not brushing my teeth when I wake up. I would only brush my teeth after breakfast, and I would rarely eat breakfast."

"So most days I would only brush my teeth at night. I figured, 'Well, I brushed last night and haven’t eaten anything since, so why should I brush again?'"

" Then I learned about all the bacteria that feed on the tiny bits of food left in your teeth and they literally expel gas and feces in your mouth as they consume it. And this is what causes awful morning breath."

"So I have this mental image of bacteria poop and farts coating my mouth and have brushed every morning since regardless of eating breakfast or not."

- scatteredwardrobe

"Brush at night to keep your teeth, and brush in the morning to keep your friends."

- coykoi314

Not Just Yellow Snow

"Eating snow. Just take the same handful of snow you might see a kid stuff in their mouth and let it melt in a glass. Bet you wouldn’t willingly drink it!"

- Affectionate_Cloud86

Don't Visit Everyone's House

"I sit on my couch butt naked when I’m alone watching TV at night. I mean I’m relatively clean but I feel sorry for anyone else that sits there."

- Rich-Abbreviations25

Letting the Hair Fall Where It May

"I'm suffering from hair loss at the moment (51 Female) and I'm often absent-mindedly raking a hand through my long hair, glancing at what comes out and then dropping the strands on the floor."

"Just read on another sub that that's pretty disgusting to other people. In my defense, I work exclusively from home in my own small office and would never do it in public, but even so, maybe my husband thinks I'm gross."

- RadioDorothy

Shoes Indoors

"Wearing shoes inside. My family was not a shoes off family and they always wore outside shoes inside."

"I remember a few friends' homes were strict shoes-off homes, but I thought that was the minority."

"I was about 27 years old before I realized it was disgusting and people were definitely judging my etiquette."

- MyDogAteYourPancakes

Double-Dipping

"Double-dipping snacks. Pretty logical but only found out recently that’s very bad etiquette."

- AggravatingDriver559

"Double-dipping is only acceptable if you’re not sharing the dip with anyone."

- froderenfelemus

Fair Lessons

"Some things I've learned:"

"Wash my bedsheets every week, including bed, pillows, and covers."

"Only use the same bath towel twice before washing it."

"Use a new toothbrush head every month."

"Always wash my hands coming back from a store or public transit."

"And NEVER EVER go into a resort pool with a swim-in bar."

- freddg_mtl

This conversation was so cringe-worthy and left us wanting a shower in the worst way.

At least for most of these Redditors, now that they knew these are gross habits, they've chosen to do something better.

Bags of movie theater popcorn
Corina Rainer/Unsplash

Sources provided by health experts informed us to eat fruits and vegetables in order to nourish our bodies with energy, and to drink milk to ensure we grew up with strong bones and muscles.

However, nowadays, consumers are confused.

There seems to be conflicting information every day regarding the benefits, or harm, of eating the foods we were always told were detrimental to our health.

Curious to hear from strangers online about our misconceptions regarding the foods we eat, Redditor Meerkate asked:

"What are some foods that aren't as unhealthy as people make them out to be?"

People discuss everyone's favorite movie snack.

Pass The Popcorn

"Popcorn. For how good it tastes, it has almost nothing bad in it."

"You add the salt and butter of course, and those arent great, but you're not getting a super high amount of those."

– mithridateseupator

"Adding in decent quality butter (not margarine) and a few shakes of regular salt is not unhealthy at all. The problem is with the sh*t that movie theatres put in popcorn."

– puffy_capacitor

Careful With The Seasoning

"My body started rejecting movie theater popcorn butter when I was about 25. That stuff will make you sh*t your pants and miss the end of the movie. Just salt for me thanks. Real melted butter at home or at Alamo Drafthouse."

– jesusbatman

Healthy Suggestion

"I love popcorn."

"You probably buy the kernels too but for those who don't, it's significantly cheaper and healthier to buy just a big container of popcorn kernels."

"Pop them on the stove top with a small amount of oil and sprinkle some finely ground salt (that's what movie theaters use for that magic flavor) and you're golden."

"It's super easy. I don't even add butter."

"You can also pop kernels in the microwave in a paper bag or in a bowl without buying the pre-bagged stuff. You'll never go back to those once you've popped your own kernels."

"An air popper works too of course, though that will definitely require butter."

– VralShi

Redditors talk about the health benefits of eating certain kinds of fat.

Not So Fat

"Fat in general (not the trans ones tho)"

– LenkaSky

"The low fat craze of the late ‘90s/early ‘00s has A LOT to answer for. My mom is still ridiculous about it. Yeah, moderation is good, but you can add some butter to your food so it’s edible and still live a long life."

– burgher89

Fat Is Your Friend

"Fat is a great source of sustained energy that doesn’t boost your blood glucose like other options."

– honorificabilidude

"You really, really need fat in your diet for proper hormone regulation and other important body processes!"

– aledaml

Go easy on the carbs.

Hey Spud

"Potatoes got several countries through famine! Probably alot of people associate them with fatty fries or crisps."

– Meerkate

Get Starchy

"Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew"

– DokiDoodleLoki

"Exactly this. High satiation and low cost. You can wash out a lot of the starch if you're worried about it."

– The_Quicktrigger

Let's discuss fruity.

Nature's Candy

"I’m so tired of hearing people talk about 'all the natural sugar in fruit.'”

"I guarantee you this banana is healthier than potato chips and cookies."

– Sharyn913

"My mom has done basically ever fad diet ever, but one thing I do like about the 'new' Weight Watchers is that fruits, vegetables, and lean meats like chicken breast are zero points. I think the logic behind it is that there is no f'king way you're going to eat enough carrot sticks and apples to make yourself gain weight, so they're trying to encourage people to default to that stuff when they're hungry even if they're out of points rather than just starving until they give up and eat a bunch of unhealthy foods. Weight Watchers doesn't really work long term, but that detail is nice."

– standbyyourmantis

Saving Grace

"I think its the fiber in fruit that makes it not as bad. Also, it has nutrition to make up for it unlike the cookie that's just all refined flour and sugar."

– Tangerine_memez

Calorie Count

"There are scientific studies suggesting that not all the calories in nuts are bioavailable, so you might only get 75% of the calories! There are also studies showing they contribute to weight loss even despite being high in calories."

– kazzah31

When I was told butter is actually a better alternative to margarine–which is known to contain trans fat–I started cooking more with butter.

I believe we can eat anything in moderation, so as much as I love smearing pads of butter on my English muffin, I take it easy.

When it comes to baking with it and putting it on toast, nothing beats the flavor of my favorite dairy fat.

It goes without saying, that when we pay a visit to a hospital, either as a guest or as a patient, we only see a very small portion of all the working parts of a hospital.

While countless doctors, nurses and orderlies will be seen roaming the halls, their hands more than full, there are also lab technicians and administrators who are every bit as busy, just not as visible.

Knowing this does rather make one wonder what goes on in a hospital that we don't see, or don't realize.

Or, for that matter, what we patients are actually entitled to, that they may not realize.

A question possibly best left unanswered.

Even so, Redditor SingLikeTinaTurner was eager to find out, leading them to ask:

"Hospital workers of Reddit, what happens there that's hidden but that we should know about?"

If You Know, You Know...

"Not really hidden and kinda minor but I’ll say it anyways."

"I deliver food to patients and it’s not hard to tell when someone is on their way out."

"Could be simply not being hungry, or could be the inability to eat."

"Had one patient who hadn’t eaten anything off their tray for 3 days straight."

"The last time I delivered to them, they smiled and gave me a wink."

"Next day, they were gone."

"It’s rough seeing these things happen in real-time."

"I’m a grown @ss man who doesn’t cry often, but it always leaves me feeling extra empty picking up the untouched trays and replacing them with another tray that I know will stay untouched as well."- jgss2018

Hidden In Plain Sight

"Sometimes when people die we just put an oxygen mask on them and wheel them through the corridors."

"Less distressing for other patients and visitors to think they are asleep rather than see a body with a sheet over it."- dont-believe-me-·

Know Your Rights

"You, as a patient, have every right to refuse any test or treatment or even leave."

"At any time."

"For any reason."

"Unless a harm to self or others- that's different, at least in the US."

"Added bonus you should know: leaving against medical advice DOES NOT mean insurance will not pay for the care you've received."

"Your insurance will still be billed the same as anyone else who stayed the whole time till discharge."

"But if you leave with an IV in your arm we will call the police to find you and bring you back to remove it, because of drug abuse."- Suitable_Sorbet_8718

Peeking Not Recommended

"The hospital I work at has these big square covers."

"When I first started, I would see transport staff pushing these things around the halls."

"I thought they were food trays, or large boxes of hospital equipment."

"Turns out it’s a structured bed cover, so when they are transporting a deceased patient to the morgue, it doesn’t look like a person under a sheet."- rajortoa9

The Flashing Lights Only Get You So Far

"An ambulance ride is not a one way ticket to the front of the line."

"You still get triaged and could be rolled right to the waiting room if you’re non-emergent."- dozerdude1995

emergency ambulance GIFGiphy

Whatever Gets Them In The Zone...

"Surgeon here."

"We listen to music in the OR."

"Most people seem surprised when they hear that."- johnnyscans

Hide And Seek...

"I got a fast bleep (ie. drop everything you’re doing and attend this emergency please) one night to a side room on the ward to find no patient in the bed."

"Was just about to leave the room and go back out to the nurses station, where there had been a bit of a hubbub when I’d dashed past the first time, when something caught my eye."

"Looked up to see a face with wide, slightly wild 'psych eyes' peering down at me from a gap in the ceiling tiles."

"She was a lady waiting for a bed in the psych hospital who’d clearly thought the ceiling was the best place to hide from the people trying to poison her."

"Honestly can’t think of another occasion that I’ve been quite so terrified."

"Worst thing was that I had to walk (well, dash) back out underneath her to get help from the nurses and security to get her down."- Leas-Pe·

Speaking In Code...

"If you register in the ER and tell the triage nurse that your problem is 'personal' we know you’re here because of something genital or anal related."

"A lot of we healthcare workers have seen a lot."

"If you’re not truthful at triage, your care might be less prompt when it’s a true medical emergency."

"It is possible to die of embarrassment."- DocWednesday

Hide Reaction GIF by florGiphy

Things You Can Tell Just By Looking At Them

"If you come into the ER drunk there is guaranteed a pool of bets on your blood alcohol level, possibly with odds if there's a pharmacist available to do the math for us."- K-Tanz

Ensuring They're Surrounded By Love

"In the ICU you spend a lot of time keeping corpses alive until their family comes around or their body gives out."

“'Oh Jesus ain’t ready for her yet!'”

"Yes, Jesus is ready for her; we’re just actively delaying it."- gamerdudeNYC

Maybe Not Just At Hosptials... Just A Thought...

"Not hidden, per se, but for the love of all that is holy, if you insist on bringing your kid into the hospital, do NOT let them crawl or play on the floor."

"The amount of literal blood, urine, poop, and vomit that has been on it and hastily (not thoroughly) cleaned up is, well, a lot."

"The hospital, especially the floors, is NOT a clean environment."

"Added to that, think of all the rooms nurses, doctors, housekeeping staff, etc. have walked into."

"Rooms that have COVID or Norovirus or group A Strep."

"We walked into those rooms and those same shoes walked into other rooms."

"Tl;dr hospital floors are disgusting as f*ck."- duckface08

Baby Crawls Face First Across The Floor GIF by ViralHogGiphy

Not An Exact Science...

"Hospital lab worker here."

"Not particularly scandalous, but most people don't realiZe their lab tests are just very accurate guesses, and have an error range."

"When we say your 'X' is 10g/L, we might actually mean it's 10g/L ± 10-20%."

"I see too many people get extremely worked up about small fluctuations in blood test values that aren't actually in excess of the reference change value, and so technically aren't genuinely different from a previous value."- Hayred

A Decision No One Wants To Make...

"You are doing your 90 year old grandmother a great disservice by making her a full code, she will not survive CPR and her death will be significantly more traumatic because of it."- singlenutwonder

WASH YOUR FREAKIN' HANDS!!!

"I help patients to the bathroom nonstop all day."

"The amount of patients that just leave the bathroom without washing their hands is disgusting."

"If I didn’t hear the sink or soap dispenser your a** is getting led right to an alcohol hand station."- Madamiamadam

Wash Hands Water GIF by Jared D. WeissGiphy

More goes on in a hospital than we're ever likely to know.

If you check out from a hospital healthier than you were when you checked in, that's probably all you need to know.

Even if it's understandable to ask what song the doctor was listening to when you were open on the operating table.


red throw pillow on white couch
Photo by reisetopia on Unsplash

My family went on a lot trips when I was young, and we always stayed in hotel rooms. Around the time my brother and I were old enough to stay in a room by ourselves (our parents would stay in another one, usually across the hall), he also became a bit of a germaphobe.

At the time, I actually believed hotels changed the sheets on the beds daily, so when my brother fretted about the cleanliness of the hotels, I reassured him they were fine. He believed me at first, since I was his big sister, but by the time he was 12, he got suspicious.

During one of our trips, he decided to test this by making a mark on his pillow cover with a pen and turning the pillow cover inside out before we left for sightseeing the next morning. When we returned, he turned the pillow cover back, and his mark was still there, proving that the sheets hadn't been changed. He only had to do this one more time, during our next trip, for me to realize this wasn't a one-off.

Ever since, and even now in adulthood, my brother and I always intentionally spill something on our sheets during our first night in order to get clean sheets, at least for the duration of our stay. This, in fact, is the first thing we do.

I'm not the only person who does something a bit quirky like this when they first enter a hotel rooms. Plenty or Redditors have stories about this and are ready to share.

It all started when Redditor BlundeRuss asked:

"What’s the first thing you do when you get into a hotel room?"

​Preparing For Sights

"Go to the balcony to see if it's going to be public nudity or private nudity during my morning coffee."

– hoffarmy

"I love that this doesn’t change your plans, just prepares your mind. Excellence."

– sewahyelah

Show Me The Truth

"Put my bags up on something and check the mattress. I also bought a UV flashlight but after using it at home I’ve decided that bringing it to a hotel would be unnecessary torture. Nothing is clean when you shine the thing on it. And I mean nothing."

– Fatguy73

Temperature Check

"One of my close friends travels a ton for business. She also loves to sleep in a f**king ice box."

"She has found some resource for how to basically jailbreak hotel thermostats. Each hotel thermostat has a specific key sequence that unlocks the lower temps that the hotel normally doesn’t allow guests to set because, you know, money."

– Sp4ceh0rse

"I do this in every hotel."

– jubilee__

Sweet Relief

"Set bags down."

"Look at room for cleanliness."

"Take a dump."

– PuzzledCitron8728

"I showed up early to a hotel after 12 hours straight of driving. Took forever for them to get me in the room (really it was probably only 30 minutes and they were super accommodating)."

"Anyways, I had been feeling the tyrannical gouging of a sh*t demon trying to claw it's way out for about half an hour beforehand. I ran down the hall, opened the door, threw my bag at something, and was kinda hovering over the toilet just in time. Hadn't put cheek to rim yet and my darling baby began his exit."

"It wasn't until after I looked up that I realized neither door was the self-closing kind and you could see all the way in from the hallway."

– coreylahe

"You’ve unlocked a childhood memory. I stayed in a lot of hotels while growing up and I saw someone in your position once, trail of belongings leading to the toilet. So I went and shut the door for him."

– scarfknitter

Disney Magic

"Find the bible and flip through it. When my sister and I were kids, we went to Disney, and I think she asked why is there always a bible in the drawer, waved it by the spine and 20 bucks fell out. So I always check now."

– TyWiggly

"I found $100 that way. 5 crisp 20's,. I was pretty broke at the time too."

– weisblattsnut

Always Check

"First, I look at the area between the mattress and headboard for any signs of bed bugs, then under the sheets. I’ve never encountered them, but I’ve heard so many horror stories that I’m paranoid about them."

– triceraquake

"As someone who worked in hotels, I always double check the door locks and then inspect for bed bugs."

– Chatterbxer

Yikes!

"Look for cameras. I'm a paranoid f**k."

– Gubble_Buppie

"If anyone wants to see an overweight guy in his mid-40s eat pringles in his underwear while reading Stephen King novels, then they have my flabby white blessing."

– oppernaR

"They sell surprisingly easy to use scanners on Amazon. I found a camera in an air bb bedroom alarm clock, threw a towel over it and got the whole stay for free. Some will detect signals but the best way is there’s a looking glass that’s red and it emits a light and you turn off all the lights and look around the room. Any active camera will shine like a cats eyes when you skim over it."

– Vacation_Kinkycouple

The Things We Find

"I check in odd places to see if anyone stashed drugs or money. You would be surprised at all the sh*t I’ve found over the years!"

– Deathbot-420

"We found an axe under the bed once."

– Punkstarbabe

Ick.

"Yank the comforter off the bed and throw it in the corner. they rarely wash those things."

– whatever32657

"I discovered this recently while calling home to say good night to everyone. Dried food stuck to the comforter. Threw that bad boy off the bed."

– DuchessofSquee

"I cleaned an air BnB for a little while and I was so disturbed when they told me they didn't wash the comforter because hotels don't.... Like I guess I get it because they're heavy and they're trying to save water on the washes but yuck dude... Cleaning that air Bnb made me NEVER want to book one because of the sh*t the owners wouldn't LET me clean... I don't think I'd ever survive as a maid for a hotel, I could never travel again lol."

– ModestMeeshka

It's A Process

"Make a condom for the TV remote control. Take the ice bag from the ice bucket and put the remote in it. Now I never have to touch the remote."

– dontknowafunnyname2

"I'm sure disinfectant wipes could do the job."

– Pheobe0228

Check For Monsters...People Monsters

"Make sure no one is hiding under the bed or in the bathroom 😂😅"

– HeadInTheClouds916

"I travel a lot for work…and I’m shocked no one else mentioned this. First I check the closet, under the bed, the bathroom for a hiding serial killer…then check the mattress for bedbugs…"

– pdxmikaela

Today I Learned

"Check for cleanliness and then take pictures Traffickcam."

"Traffickcam is an app where you take specific pictures of your room and then upload them to their database. They use these pictures to check on the location of human trafficking victims."

– slappymasterson

"Take a picture of the room and post it on the Trafickcam app so if the room or similar has been used by human traffickers maybe it will help find someone."

– CatsInTrenchCoat

And thanks to those last two stories, I'm a little scared to stay in another hotel.