Everyone is a bit leery of hospitals.
Even people who have to work there would rather be somewhere else most of the time.
But sometimes, a trip to the hospital is unavoidable.
More specifically, a trip to the ER.
We humans can really get ourselves into some ridiculous health-related situations.
All you can do is try to laugh about it.
And be grateful you lived so you can tell the silly story.
Redditor lugulaga wanted everyone to fess about the times their ER visits were more embarrassing than painful, so they asked:
"What is the stupidest reason you went to the hospital?"
I do my best to stay away from the ER.
I'll even suffer in silence.
Especially if I'm being an idiot.
Intractable
Giphy"Hiccups that lasted 24 hrs, stopped right when the doctor stepped in the room. Lol."
stargill70
"I’ve seen this a lot. Had a guy last Monday. 'Intractable hiccups.' Fun note: we use Thorazine to treat it. As in the anti-psychotic."
W6RJC
Down the Hatch
"Not me but I had to pick up a mate who swallowed a 50c piece to win a $2 bet. If you don't know, an Australian 50c is quite large. They had to do an endoscopy to get it out. They let him keep the black corroded coin too."
honest-aussie
"My son did this but with an American 25¢ quarter. He had it in his mouth but inhaled it. It was stuck sideways in his airway so luckily he could breathe. They had to put him under and got it out via endoscopy."
"He spent 9 hours with it in his airway and hardly spoke at all. That is the quietest he has ever been since he learned to speak. He was about 9 when this happened, he is autistic, though very high functioning, and was sensory seeking which is why it was in his mouth."
kaismama
While I Sleep
"A bat landed on my head while I was asleep. Rabies shots all around!"
olda**hit
"Ugh, my child had a 'mystery bite' from daycare that we ignored until it started looking infected. Doctors asking about animals and specifying bats-- reminds me that LAST YEAR the daycare had bats removed that were living in the roof but had no sighting since then."
But I said it. So they had to do the rabies shots, including IGG injected directly into the infected bite... on a 2-year-old. Most traumatizing experience of my life... thank goodness she doesn't remember!"
overweightthrowaway3
A Hard WInd
"My husband went because he was in extreme pain and thought he was having a heart attack. Turns out it was wind. He just needed a good fart."
blueboatsky
"I took my 1-week-old son to urgent care because he had abdominal pain for hours and hours. He cried in the waiting room for a couple more hours, then farted three times and immediately fell asleep."
"They called us in about 10 minutes after that. The doctor said, "As long as you guys are here, let's see how he's doing" and gave him the standard well-baby check. I thought that was nice."
EvadingDoom
Not the Thumb
big bang theory paper cut GIFGiphy"When I was 8 I was bored so I got a bottle of Gatorade from my pantry and grabbed a kitchen knife then proceeded to stab it over the sink to see how easily the knife would go through the thicker plastic of the bottle… almost lost my thumb."
New_Moon_Lotus
Kids and kitchen knives, a most deadly combination.
Merry Nothing
Freak Out Running GIF by TLCGiphy"Christmas Day, I dislocated my knee attempting to kick my brother during a sparring match. Needless to say, my martial arts career was over."
IDontThereforeIAmNot
Broken
"I was at a house party, all the bathrooms were full. Went outside, and decided I should crawl under the porch to pee. Everything went well until I tripped on the way out and rolled my ankle. Shrugged it off, limped back upstairs and someone said 'Your ankle is broken.' Sure enough, bone sticking out. DD took me to the hospital and got me ice cream on the way home. I miss you, Kyle. You're the best."
Ubermassive
Knobbed
"Butt cheek injuries caused by a door. I hate touching door knobs with my hands and always use my forearm to rub against the doorknob in a downward motion using friction to turn the knob. Was joking around with my gf saying I can open a door with my buttcheek exactly like how I use my forearm. Jumped at the door butt first and the little metal thing that guides the door cut my buttcheek (I think they call it strike plate or latch strike)."
"The cut wasn’t a clean cut because the thing wasn’t that sharp. 30+ stitches."
"After that, she had to stand behind me holding a bowl to cover my wound every time I take a shower so it doesn’t get wet, and we live in a hot country so she has to do that twice a day for like a month."
Normal-Focus9248
We did Nothing...
"I’m an ER doctor. About once a year I see a very nice young female who comes to the ER with three or four family members because her fingers are blue. They have always googled all sorts of fancy and exotic diseases that they are worried about. 100% of the time the patient has brand-new blue jeans on."
"Without saying a word I just grab an alcohol swab and wipe the blue dye off of their hands, and then I do the same thing to their jeans to show them it’s the same color. The collective sigh from the family is always what does it for me. Not surprisingly, half the time the patient doesn’t believe me and is angry that 'we did nothing.'"
Dan-z-man
All Sewed Up
Tongue Out GIF by MOODMANGiphy"When I was about 3, I was running up the stairs in my house and fell. I hit my chin on a step and bit my tongue nearly off. My parents took me to the local hospital where they sewed up the gash in my tongue without anesthetic. I still remember it to this day."
Salty_Fixer
I feel faint after reading all this.
Thank the Lord no one brought up any eye issues.
I'd be on the floor.
Redditor sintemp wanted to hear about the times we've all averted odd ways of perishing, so they asked:
"In what unusual way have you almost died?"
Life is littered with near-death incidents.
It's a wonder we can enjoy living at all.
Oh wait, maybe that's the point.
Close Call
Pop Tv Please GIF by One Day At A TimeGiphy"Almost booked a ticket on MH17 with my mum and brother, before my dad shut it down and said he’s fed up with flying with Malaysian airlines. So we flew with Emirates instead, wise decision."
KenyanJesus69
"Same, my mum booked our tickets for MH17. Then they were changed to a day earlier, my whole family was sad we left early. Saw the news on MH17 when we landed in New Zealand. Scary crap."
Zoutt
Lungs
"When I was born in 1995 one of my lungs was filled with amniotic fluid. The doctors went in to drain it and inadvertently tore it instead. Then they proceeded to tear the other one in an attempt to fix the first one. My mother remembers two doctors getting into an extremely heated verbal argument over this. Doctor 1 thought he could treat me at the current hospital I was in."
"Doctor 2 knew that I would die if I wasn’t transferred to a better-equipped emergency center. They were in such disagreement that Doctor 2 literally had to sneak me out after Doctor 1’s shift was over. Obviously, it worked. I turned out not just making a full recovery, but I left ALOT of people scratching their heads because my body never developed scar tissue from all of that. My lungs work 100%."
Ohlookitsyouagain
Not Faking
"Got pushed off a dock by a bully and drowned in front of a lifeguard who was yelling at me to stop faking. I was 9 or 10 at the time and I couldn't swim. The town had a population of less than 800, only had 1 lifeguard, and I was at the beach 3-5 days a week because of family, so they knew. Brother ended up pulling me out and resuscitating me himself. Lifeguard pretended she didn't notice."
ModularArchive
Death Secret
"I was digging a hole at 12-14 years old. Because I could, kid stuff. I only remember waking up, and it was dark. I had apparently hit an underground electric line. No one knew. I was there for hours. I got up, went inside, and ate dinner. This was in the early 80s. I peed my pants. And felt weird for a day or two. Never told my parents. Thought they’d be mad."
BadLuckEddie
Chew Slowly
top hat fish GIF by GoldfishGiphy"By inhaling a Goldfish. The cracker, not the animal."
"Got pneumonia, hospitalized, the whole 9 yards."
"I don't eat goldfish anymore."
EchoLynx
I knew those little goldfish were dangerous.
Fish are killers with the right cheese.
Horrors
Over It Rose GIF by HULUGiphy"My stomach veins exploded. It was like something out of a movie the blood pouring out of my mouth. Don’t recommend it. Still traumatized."
pancakesquest1
50 Feet
"I came ~50 feet away from getting struck by lightning in April 2015… in Auschwitz. I was there with my dad and we hopped off the main tracks about 15 seconds before lightning hit them in front of us. We always joke (darkly) that we’d have been the last Jews to die in Auschwitz if we hadn’t moved."
chyko9
A beaten body...
"Fell down a mountain. (It was like a slide area that went at an angle off vertical.) My clothes and skin were torn badly, one of my pack straps was broken, and, while nothing felt broken, I felt like I had been beaten by baseball bats for a week. Took me 2 weeks to get out and to medical care. I was bleeding from every orifice and couldn't eat or drink when I entered the hospital."
"For a CAT they dumped something like 1.5 liters of, what we soon discovered, of a dye that I was severely allergic to. I next woke in the same room with a technician sobbing into my face and a doctor who looked like he just ran a marathon holding those shock paddles."
"I was informed of the allergy, told I had died, and had to swear to the, still very upset, technician that I'd always tell others I had such a severe allergy. So, I dragged my beaten body into a hospital for them to kill me in an attempt to find out what was wrong."
Gurpguru
Combat Problems
"Was assisting at a target practice in the military when a trainee misfired and got saved by my Kevlar helmet, the force of the impact pushed my head backward, and fell into the ground with so much force that I got a concussion."
"Next thing I know, the drill instructors are tearing that trainee a new one while I'm looking at a beautiful blue sky hearing shouting far away. Luckily I got hit by a 9 mm. to the helmet and not a 7.62 mm. from our standard combat rifle."
CommieWhacker14
Safety Issues
excited d&d GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy"I almost got crushed in a pin setter when I was working on the pin table (bowling lane). I was lazy and didn’t LOTO because as the manager I didn’t think anyone would turn it on but me. I was wrong and it was a mistake I only made once."
HappyHubby33
Lord, half of these are the worst of my memories.
We're not even safe in our own homes!
Do you have any stories? Let us know in the comments.