The Real Reasons People Don't Talk To 'That Family Member' Anymore

Man sitting alone out in nature
Anthony Tori/Unsplash

All relationships are complicated–including the ones we're related to by blood.

No family is perfect. In spite of always presenting picture-perfect appearances, you never know if your neighbors have skeletons in the closet, and it's none of our business to pry.

While unconditional love can be the bond that holds a family unit together, sometimes that's not enough, as evidenced by those who have become estranged.

But we don't talk about Bruno, right?


Curious to hear from families that have experienced drama from within, Redditor Electrical_Ant6630 asked:

"Why don’t you talk to 'that' family member anymore?"

Criminal activity would certainly divide family members.

The Con Artist

"Stole our grandpa's identity (his dad) and ruined him financially. Then when his brother died, tried stealing money from his sister (my mom) and conning his way into things that didn't belong to him."

"When my mom passed, he asked for her SSN, told me it was for an old insurance policy their brother (referenced above) worth like 400 bucks. I told him I wanted more info, looked into it and it was 76k that he was trying to claim entirely for himself instead of me and my sibling getting my moms share."

"F'k that guy."

– chompytown

Alcoholic And More

"Abusive alcoholic/ forged documents using my moms identification."

– THEONLYMILKY

That's Not How This Works

"Because that family member stole my money and blamed it on me. lol."

– mblaze111

Maternal Arsonist

"My wife's mum. Among other things she attempted to burn down my house. Whilst her daughter and grandson were inside. She's a POS who's going to die bitter and alone and that's just fine by all of her kids."

– SpudGun312

As if grieving over the loss of a family member wasn't enough, these happened.

Pointing Fingers

"Accused me of stealing all our dad's money when he died. There was a will and we all got the same amount. I pointed this out and she blocked me. 🤷"

– One_Has_Lepers

Scene At A Funeral

"When at my sister's funeral they told me I had no reason to cry because I wasn't really family because I was adopted. I was adopted within my own family. We were still biologically related."

– ThisIsNotTex

Eyeing Gran's Cash

"tried to steal my grandmother's money after she died."

– bigtex2003

Toxic Brother

"my brother(a toxic dangerous narcissist) robbed my mom into poverty, she sacrificed literally every penny and went even in debt to cover for his lifestyle."

"every time i bailed her out i knew i was funding her toxic relationship with him.when she was finally dying of cancer, ( and having a million other issues and struggles) both my sister( total different long story) and my brother where f'king nowhere to be seen."

"i stepped in and stepped up to help her out of her misery making huge sacrifices career wise, financially getting in debts myself (medical bills through the roof, and her house basically needed entire renovations), let alone mentally of being constantly exposed to extreme hardship and misery of someone you loved the most.even my big loved one, just left me 6 months into this rough situation, nothing as unsexy as a man struggling,bleeding and suffering to help out a loved one i guess"

"anyway i carried my mum alone on my own shoulders till her very dying breath holding her hands while people close to your heart just turned their backs and left you regardless i showed them nothing but care and loyalty through my entire life"

s"ince the funeral almost day to day now 3 years ago ( died first week after new year), i haven't spoken to any of them.may they all go f'k themselves in eternity, to me they simply do not exist any longer"

– Lord-Legatus

The nightmare wasn't over for these divorced Redditors.

Unwanted Reunion

"When the ex-husband got released from jail for spousal abuse and restraining order violations, she gave him my new home address."

– Texandria

Don't Underestimate The Young

"My first marriage broke up after five months; before the divorce was final a police lieutenant said if the ex had succeeded in kidnapping me, he would have killed me. The police believed me and the judge believed me but my mother didn't."

"If there's one useful thing to draw from this, please don't dismiss a young person who wants to confide in you that one of their parents isn't normal. So many people brushed it off with, 'You'll understand when you're older' and 'She's trying her best' that I kept trying. Would have been better off if I'd followed my gut and estranged from her sooner. She's a very angry person."

– Texandria

While it's difficult to comprehend a situation that doesn't involve you, it can be frustrating when you don't have the answers regarding an estranged family member.

I recently discovered that my mother's cousin has a son who left the family as soon as he became an adult because of the misery he endured at home.

The son fled on his own because his mother always doted on and favored his elder brother while his father stayed silent.

The poor treatment of the youngest son–from what I understand–stemmed from a terrible and outdated cultural notion that the first-born son was always revered over any other sibling. For no reason.

Anyway, my mom's heart broke knowing about this family history, and she has no idea how the estranged son is doing.

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