Sex, and intimacy... its a weird dance isn't it? You can be fires blazing and then suddenly... eww, gross, get away from the next. It only takes one wrong move to cause a foul. Now sex is fun that is for sure. But every now and again trying something new can be dangerous.
Redditor u/Rocker9835 wanted to hear about the times when in the midst of some sweet sweet loving you knew... yeah "I should go!"... Have you ever practically walked out mid sex? What happened?During one of most "athletic" encounters in the past, my paramour and I got so wrapped up in our "activities" we neglected to realize how far we had moved the bed from the wall. So at one point his hand slipped off the side and then just like that, he fell from the bed and onto the wine glasses we had set aside on the floor earlier. Needless to say, henceforth the mood was... "shattered."
Safety First
Pew Pew Reaction GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants
Giphy
She kept insisting that I didn't need a condom, "I'm infertile" was among her excuses. Like I just met you on Tinder. I just walked out. We didn't do anything.
Stay Dry
My wife headbutted me when tussling around in bed. Didn't think much of it. Kept going, switched position with me on top. She commented that I was drooling on her face.
Thing is I'm not a dog, so I wasn't drooling at all. Wiped my face with the back of my hand which came back wet.
Lights on. Blood all over the place. My nose was bleeding. I had bled in her eye...
Not as much a walk out since we still went to sleep together, but sex wasn't on the menu for the rest of the evening.
She Cray
We hadn't gotten very far, but I quickly moved down while she quickly moved up, and I broke my nose on her pelvic bone.
She suddenly flipped the absolute hell out, screaming at me about "ruining our night" as blood gushed out of my nose. Mind you this was like the second date. She continued to yell at me about how I needed to fix this (a total accident) and I just cleaned myself up the best I could and went home.
The Rough Ride
superman running GIF
Giphy
Oof.
My gf at the time had been on top of me and came slightly disconnected on the upswing. Gravity and exuberance drove her back down snapping my penis in half (audibly, I might add) on her pelvic bone. Not gonna lie. Wish it'd been my nose.
Edit: Because a number have asked, no, I didn't go to hospital/see a urologist...didn't even think it was that serious at the time (but lets be honest: In the moment, it's freaking serious!). No lasting damage...Bruising and tenderness for a week and a bit, but no banana bend, no recurring pain, nothing. I consider myself pretty lucky in that regard, considering it could've been catastrophic.
Ok. I may never have sex again. Life is already dangerous enough. Now I have to worry about broken limbs and learning how to be a triage medic? My partner's encounter with the glass luckily had very little blood. He was just sore. But all of this nonsense is gonna give me nightmares. But, wait... there's more!
No Teeth
My ex-wife would bite me around my clavicle, most of the time hard, but not enough to kill the mood for me b/c it meant she was really liking what I was doing. Until one time when she bit so hard out of the blue she drew blood. It was over for the night.
Too Many Legs...
Yep!
My boyfriend said he felt something hit his back like it dropped and hit hardish and move so we stopped and I check and nothing was there so we continued.
About a minute later I had my hand on my boyfriend's shoulder and I feel something move on my hand I look and a huge house spider comes running over onto my face.
I screamed my boyfriend looked he sees the spider slaps it off my face and the pair of us get up and nope ourselves out the room throwing clothes on as we go danm 8 legs ruined our evening lol.
Bad Bounce
scared music video GIF by IHC 1NFINITY
Giphy
This wasn't the guy's fault. I was bouncing on top of him and I accidentally bit my bottom lip really hard when I bounced. I started bleeding profusely on his chest and down my chin. We both stopped and ran to the bathroom.
Shut Up Already!!
I once regrettably dated a woman who was with me purely to upset her conservative parents. We were having sex in her bedroom and she began shouting as loudly as she could. I asked her to stop, but she said she wanted them to hear us.
That was not my idea of fun, so I stopped. She sobbed like a child because I didn't want to take part in her weird fantasy.
Are You Deaf?!
Im Out Shark Tank GIF by ABC Network
Giphy
The guy kept asking if he could remove the condom. "But I'm clean, I've been tested like 2 weeks ago! You can trust me!"
Yeah, right. After maybe the 6th or 7th time I got so pissed off I just up and left.
LOL Stop!
A girl I had been seeing off and on did a pretty freaking spot on Christopher Walken impression. Like, from a 5 foot nothing, 110lb woman. It was really funny and she did it so rarely that it always made me laugh.
Anyway, one time we started doing it. A few minutes in, as we're getting into a good rhythm, she yells, "oh yeah, do me!" in her Walken voice and it was so freaking funny.
I laughed for way too long and we had to stop and go outside to gather myself.
Never Stop!
Excuse Me What GIF by One Chicago
Giphy
I had an ex say her last boyfriend's name in the middle of the act.
I wasn't even insulted because I knew she was a drama queen and the way she said it was so over the top. "Oooooh my gooooooood ex's name, you are amazing. Never stop!" in a way that no real life human speaks outside of movies. I wouldn't have been mad if it had been accidental, mistakes happen, but the fact that she was doing it intentionally so she could have a dramatic scene straight out of The Notebook or some other garbage romance movie.
The Neck
He started to strangle me. I told him I didn't like that and he said he would stop, but his hands kept creeping up to my neck. Flipping terrified me. I sure as hell got out of there as fast as I could.
No Gary
Yeah I was with a girl after I had a fresh breakup, she was being really vulgar about what she wanted me to with her, but kept referring to me as her father.
Not like in a daddy kink kind of way, she just kept calling me Gary, and well. That was this woman's father's name.
We got started and then as soon as she said it again I lost the erection and then pretended to have chest pains and went home. She then spent the next few days messaging me about
"must have been wonderful if I almost gave you a heart attack."
I ended up blocking her.
Bye!!
He was my first Tinder hookup and kept trying to convince me that we shouldn't use a condom because he couldn't finish with one on. In my naivete, I didn't leave immediately but instead listed some options that didn't involve his condom-lessness.
He refused all of them and then tried to sneakily take off the condom without me noticing. That was my deal breaker (though in retrospect, it should have been much earlier) and I said, "I need to leave." I calmly dressed and collected my things while he climbed under his covers and pouted. I blocked his number as soon as I was in my car.
No More Drama
I actually did walk out. I was hooking up with this girl and she says something about her boyfriend while we are undressing each other and making out. I explain I don't need to be murdered in some cheating scenario. she explains its her EX bf so we are back on. Going at it for a few minutes and lining up for the landing when she says "I'm going to turn on my flip so I can send him a video".
Instant soft and I let myself out explaining I ain't getting shot.
Kill Tinder
It wasn't technically mid sex but I was newly single and trying to sex away my sorrows on tinder. After swiping for a while I linked with a chick and she was very forward and wanted to get down to business so I gave her my address to come over. She shows up with a baby... like probably 3 to 4 months old...
then proceeds to tell me she will set the baby up on the chair in the corner of the room while we do the deed. I had a microscopic studio apartment so she might as well have just wanted to place the baby on top of my head. Long story short I politely declined her services and deleted tinder.
Toilet Time
Interested Saturday Night Live GIF by HULU
Giphy
I was going down on a former girlfriend years ago and I was really drunk, well the room started spinning and to the toilet I went. Poor girl thought it was her. I reassured her it was not, I just mixed to much alcohol.
YOU find a treadmill!!!
Yes, during sex my ex boyfriend grabbed my stomach fat and said I needed to get rid of it.
My ex had grabbed mine the next day saying he had been a bit concerned I'd be too heavy on top. I had actually lost about 40 pounds before then and had been feeling more confident. I still had about 30 pounds to lose to be within the BMI range of normal, but didn't feel that comment was warranted. He completely killed that little bit of self-confidence I had and our relationship because I wasn't going to allow myself to feel that bad again. That, and the sex sucked horribly anyway.
So what have we learned? That taking a CPR course and basic ambulatory medicine is necessary for sweet, sweet loving.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
But we should also be prepared and ready to ask the right questions to have a leg up on the competition.
"What is THE best question to ask on a job interview?"
A company's history or information about a past employee were suggested subjects appropriate for questioning.
Prior Knowledge
"When you were interviewing here, what would you have liked to know before you joined?"
"This worked for me. I asked my interviewer a question about how she had personally dealt with a company policy she had just explained. She bragged about her stellar adherence to the policy. I nodded my approval. I got the job."
A Previous Employee
"One that has always gone over well for me:"
"What were some qualities that the previous employee in this role brought to the job that you would like to see carried forward?"
"Another good thing to do is research the company you are interviewing with and you can ask things about what they may be involved in or you could drop that while reading about the company, you wondered this."
Hypothetical questions were suggested as helpful examples of inquiry.
Indicators Of How Companies Treat Employees
"A question that landed me a job once was: 'If I asked your direct reports about your management style, what do you think they'd tell me?' Stumped a hiring manager and he emailed me personally to tell me about it, no one ever asked him that question but got the job.
"In my current interviews I'm asking 'what did your company do for its employees during [the virus] to improve their day to day, work life balance, etc.' and I ask 'Is there anything your company adopted during [the virus] that they plan to keep post [the virus]?"
"These questions give a lot of insight into whether a company treated their employees well."
Past Performance & Adjustments
"If we were currently sitting in my 1 year review, what would I have done in this year for you to say I excelled in my role?"
"If I could snap my finger right now and change anything about your job or the company, what would it be and why?"
The following questions about a prospective company may not be answered from initial digging on their website.
Measure Of Success & Career Trajectories
"How is success measured in this role?"
"What are some possible career trajectories within the company that could stem from this position?"
Being A Solution
"Ask them what is the biggest problem you can solve for them in your first six months with the company. Similar to 'don't think of a purple hippo,' this forces them to imagine you succeeding in the position."
Simply The Best
"Who is your best employee and why is he/she the best?"
"You will then face 2 situations mostly:"
"panicking CEO who can't answer you 'Bob who works 17 hours a day for a slice of bread' so the fear in their faces must be a big nono for you"
"entusiast CEO who actually follow their business and can tell you who is an added value for the company and why."
– ThePiz91
My experiences with job interviews are different than others seeking work in office environments.
Having had a years-long career as a dancer, my "interview" was the dance audition, where hopefuls dance in small groups of people at a time after learning a routine and then awaiting their fate after the panel evaluates their performances.
The question I may or may not have asked in such a scenario earlier in my career was: "Did I make the cut?"
I did not make the cut. And I learned never to ask that again.
I remember the worst date I ever had. My biggest regret is that I stayed for the entire thing. I should've left as soon as I realized this was not going well, which was basically at hello. But he was paying so I drank, a lot. I'll keep names and dates to myself to protect the innocent.
0/10
Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"Went to brewery, date said I had hairy arms and that meant I was horny, said "you look really awful in this light" and then tried to dig out of that hole by saying in his native language that was a term of endearment long term couples said to each other. 0/10 did not date again."
Lucky 13?
"My wife wanted to plan our 13th wedding anniversary. I was excited because usually, I plan it. She bought us some new disc golf discs and after a quick supper, we went to play. We hadn't played in forever. We were laughing and I had a great time. She served me with divorce papers and told me that the date was a test to see if she still had feelings for me. I also learned that she was having an affair that started well before our anniversary."
- rmorlock
Two Hours from Home
"Not necessarily a date but a person I was dating invited me to his parent's house for the afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to them and show me the house he grew up in. I thought it was super sweet and had no problems going. He was also in the middle of moving and needed to pick up a few things, so it really didn't seem that unusual."
"Yeah, we got there and it was awful. His entire family was there. They traveled from hours away too. This was not just meeting the parents, it was meeting the ENTIRE family. Even worse? At some point, this idiot told his parents that he had proposed. We had been dating TWO months. I spent the entire afternoon dumbfounded and just playing along."
"We were two hours from home and I had no cell service, no way to leave at all. We ended up spending the afternoon brainstorming wedding ideas and planning an Alaskan honeymoon that his parents planned to gift us. His brother even called to say congratulations! We drove back to his apartment in silence. When we got there, I got in my car and left, didn't even bother grabbing my stuff. Weirdest experience ever. I have no idea how he broke it to his parents that we weren't getting married."
You're Cut Off!
"Got set up on a blind date once between mutual friends. She shows up to the restaurant already a little tipsy, orders multiple appetizers and only takes like one or two bites from each one. Then she proceeds to order 3 or 4 more drinks and is visibly drunk at this point. She gets up and says she's going to the bathroom and staggers off. About 15-20 minutes go by so I try to call her several times but no answer."
"Finally I decide to pay the check and just leave. About 2 hours later I'm sitting at home and I get a call from an unknown number. It's the police department. She was picked up on a DUI on her way home after she ditched me and gave the cops my number to see if I could go bail her out!"
- mox44ah
Sorry?
Bbc Three Idk GIF by BBCGiphy"Well, I gave this answer on a different topic, but it ties in with this. We were out on a date, we had been seeing each other for a while, close to a year maybe. She gets a phone call. Suddenly she looks destroyed. Her fiancé had just died in a motorcycle accident."
What in the world? I mean how can we ever expect to pair off with the dating pool being inundated with liars and nut jobs? I'm going to delete my apps.
Girl, Bye.
Sassy Beyonce GIFGiphy"Had a girl openly flirt with the bartender in front of me. She says she wasn't. But handing him her own phone and asking for his contact info in front of her date seems like it to me."
Crazy!
"Came out from a movie, late at night, and date's Camaro was stolen. Apparently, he called his WIFE (that I did not know he had) and let her know where he was and what happened. She showed up and realized he was on a date! She started chasing ME around the parking lot telling me she was going to kill me. Saved by the cops who showed up just in time to take the auto theft report."
Hey Mom
"Met a girl at a country bar one night in my 20s. We were both pretty drunk but hit it off pretty good. Ended up getting her number and we agreed we'd go on a real date. Fast forward to the date, she gets in my vehicle and... she looks almost identical to my mom. I was mortified. I was polite and we went for lunch where I found out she also had a boyfriend she "wasn't sure if she was into". Never talked to her again."
- SgtGo
Liars...
"When I was in college many years ago, before the advancement of cell phones and social media, I was chatting with a girl I met on a BBS who lived on Long Island, NY. I was 18 at the time, but lied and said I was 22 because she said she was 25. We spent a few weeks emailing each other, as well as calling each other."
"We even exchanged pics. When we finally met up, things blew up. Turns out we both lied about our ages: She was really 33, and lied because she thought she looked younger. She admitted she sent a college photo to me. We still had dinner together, but it was awkward as hell. We never spoke again."
Doubles
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy"It was a double date. She was more interested talking to the other girl throughout the whole thing. Found out later from the other guy that his girl cheated on him with my date."
Ummm... I think I'm just going to stay single. That is a handful of crazy. Why can't people just be honest? I swear the search for love warps people's brains. Be careful out there people.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.