People Describe The Worst Cases Of 'Toxic Positivity' They've Ever Witnessed
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

We all want to have the best of intentions, I mean at least I hope we do.

In order to do that though... we need to start watching what falls out of our mouths.

First, read the room.

Second, process your thoughts.

Third, just be present.

I know we've been indoctrinated to believe that putting a positive spin on every little thing will make life all better.

But that is not always the case.

Redditornumb_yet_emotionalwanted to discuss the ways being "positive" maybe didn't work out best. They asked:

"What is the worst toxic positivity you've heard?"

Don't tell me to just smile. I like a solid frown thank you.

What Day?

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"I read a comment on Reddit that someone had wished someone a 'Happy rainbow baby day' on the anniversary of their miscarriage. So uh... that."


Just Like Bey!

"People saying that we all have the same 24 hours."


"There's a motivational image somewhere that says 'you have the same amount if hours in the day as Beyonce' and it's like.. I mean yes but how many of her hours are spent cooking, cleaning, struggling with finances, and handling life? I would argue she has more hours because she pays people to do things instead of wasting her time."


Nah bro...

"I’ve been called brave before because of my disability. Nah bro. I’m just living life the best I can just like anyone else tries to do."


"You should be proud of not letting it affect your personality and make you bitter!"

"First of all, you never knew me without this condition, so for all you know, this IS my bitter self. Second: honey, if every bitter person needed a good reason, and if every person with a good reason turned bitter, there would be such chaos in human society."


Dungeon Masters...

"I would often cry as a kid because I had a really bad father. My mom's response would be 'at least you have a father, some kids don't have one!'"


"There's a saying in Dungeons and Dragons, particularly regarding toxic groups or Dungeon Masters. It's become a slogan for subreddits where people share their horror stories about really bad games, because it's pretty common that people are writing them in retrospect and, at the time, feared that they wouldn't find a group to play with again. That saying is 'Bad D&D is worse than no D&D.' Bringing this up for no reason at all."


“it’ll be ok”

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"When my baby was diagnosed with a potentially terminal illness in utero and everyone outside of the medical field kept saying 'it’ll be ok.' Meanwhile I’m trying to figure out how I’ll survive planning my baby’s funeral if the worst happens."


I can't with some of these. It's like people have never been in public before.

Shut Up!

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"Recently went to a crisis Uni. One of the case workers said you can't be sad if you're grateful. Very untrue!!!"


“doesn’t mean it”

"The idea that you 'have' to forgive everything, often said immediately after the thing happened. It’s often used as a way to dismiss the hurt or the action. You don’t have to forgive everyone or everything. Many times, forgiveness is good, especially when you can communicate with the person who hurt you. But sometimes anger is adaptive, and it signals an important boundary that you can recognize in the future."

"Relatedly, the idea that you should be explaining away someone’s behavior by trying to imagine what they were thinking or feeling. In many cases, understanding other perspectives is extremely helpful. But in cases of repeated abusive behavior, telling someone that the abuser 'doesn’t mean it' or 'you know they love you, but they have problems controlling their anger' is not helpful."


Choose This...

"Just choose happiness!"


"I hate this for two reasons."

"1: there is a seed of healthy advice here that has been drowned and corrupted into something absolutely meaningless and offers no help for any situation."

"2: happiness is just one of several emotions humans feel. All of them are valid and serve a role in the human experience. Anger, fear, jealousy, love, disgust, regret and sadness are just as valid as happiness and suppressing them is not healthy. Acknowledging our 'negative' emotions as they are helps us get out of bad situations much more effectively than 'choosing to be happy.'"


Pain is Pain

"Two things. It's selfish to want to help yourself when you're in a state of depression, and you shouldn't be depressed because you have what many people don't have. A roof over your head, food, water, electricity, etc. No matter who you are, you can always take care of yourself, and you can also feel depressed. Placing yourself before anyone else shouldn't be selfish, it should be basic self needs."



"Family always sticks together!"

"Bull. F**king. S**t!!"


Sometimes the best way to help... is to just shut up. There's a positive.

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