Mental illnesses affect millions of people and manifest in ways that are unique to the individual. But in all cases, it is not a choice, nor can it just be willed away. The stigma persists, especially for people with PTSD or ADHD, which are often chastized as fake disorders.
Cjborange asked Redditors with mental illnesses: What do you wish people knew about mental illness?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
10. Please stop doing this.
That depression isn't just being sad, and that you can't fix anxiety by not thinking like that.
The way I like to put it is like this. Think about depression like you would think about cancer. It can happen to anyone. Which is why you could see someone with a great life and that person could still depressed. Because just like cancer the disease doesn't care who you are, it will come for you just the same.
Not only is the anxiety advice terrible advice, it doesn't even work if you do manage to do it.
See I spent decades thinking I didn't have anxiety issues because I could "just not think like that" - by being focused on thinking about other things and pushing that anxiety to the back of my mind.
Sure I wasn't actively thinking about it but it still sat there in the back of my head eating at me and twisting my stomach up in knots and upping my stress levels etc. I had all the symptoms of anxiety, just didn't recognize it as such. I'd learned to turn away from the anxious thoughts, but that's not the same as turning them OFF. And fixing it isn't turning them off, but turning them AROUND.
Learning to confront that anxiety face to face, and actually handle the things I'm anxious about instead of doing everything I can to avoid them, and taking medication that helps ease that process, has made me much less ACTUALLY anxious. It's still very much a problem and probably will be for a long time yet, but it's one I'm learning to manage, one day at a time.
9. *Folds arms, blinks* ah that's better.
You can't just "snap out of it."
"It's all in your head!!" Uh, YEAH. That's the point.
It's called a "mental illness," where else should it be if not "all in my head?" Up my @ss, I guess?
Next time my @sshole dad b!tches about my mental health, I'll be sure to tell him that he should stop b!tching about his alcoholism-induced symptoms because "it's all in his liver."
Actually, with things like depression and other illnesses caused by neurotransmitter imbalances, the effects are felt throughout the body, not just in the head. That's why Irritable Bowel Syndrome can be a symptom of depression.
8. Actually, we have superpowers.
Mental illness isn't like TV. Most people with a mental illness aren't babbling nonsense or talking to themselves, or psycho killers, or having conversations with their multiple personalities. By and large, mental illness is invisible to the every day public. Chances are, you are friends with someone who has a mental illness, and you don't even know.
Yep, we aren't all violent and evil and being portrayed as such is incredibly harmful to us as a community. And you don't have to be mentally ill to do harmful things, shockingly enough. Armchair diagnosing every killer or domestic abuser as mentally ill is massively unhelpful to those of us dealing with mental illnesses, please don't do it.
We also aren't all hopeless romantics, misunderstood artists or "manic pixie dream" people. We aren't one "great romantic love" away from being healed and saved by someone. Mental illness doesn't make you interesting. It isn't a part of your personality. It doesn't give you talent and it doesn't make you brilliant. There is no one big great "aha, I finally feel great now" moment.
You kind of just wish you didn't feel that way everyday and you realize it makes you self-destruct and torture yourself and others around you but you're resigned to not doing anything about it.
7. Mental illness is frustrating af.
That we're aware of how we act, are annoyed/frustrated by the condition as much, if not more, than they are, and that dealing with it secondhand in no way compares to living it so having a little empathy goes a long way
Exactly. I always hear the John Mulaney driving rant, repurposed. "I hear you. I also do not want to be doing what I'm doing. I sure would like to stop."
This right here. You think I'm okay with the fact that I can't make myself do the things I want to do. Don't you think that if I could just shrug off the screaming cacophony, I wouldn't do so without you f*ckin' pointing that out?
"Oh, sh*t, you mean I can just turn that sh*t off... Well, why didn't I think of that, golly mister, you sure are smart!"
Who DOESN'T want to go through a cycle of lashing out -> apologizing -> lashing out -> repeat? It's just so goddamn fun and a great way to form and maintain long lasting friendships
6. It's a lot of work to appear "normal."
We try like hell to hide it. Just because we slipped and you saw the truth does NOT mean its a new aspect of our existence.
I find that any new person I meet I tell almost immediately so they get it (for me). I kinda just flash it to them and like "yo it's a me, ADD!" and they're like "ah nice ok". I mean, it is part of me, so I figured (my personal preference) I'd get it out of the way. F*cks up my life in a number of ways, but I try to be open about stuff to people firsthand.
5. Chronic physical illness and pain, like I had with colitis, led to my PTSD.
PTSD isn't always from war.
On the internet it's way more likely that people assume it's from abuse.
Mine isn't from either one. I never get sent to resources for veterans. I have been sent to resources for abuse plenty of times even when I clarified before what it's from.
People, don't assume anything.
And on a sidenote, if we open up about it, we might not be ready to tell you what it's from. What, am I supposed to tell to a near-stranger about my trauma? nah dude.
Edit: I have shared my trauma with strangers online, but that's way less emotionally taxing than talking in person. Just felt like I needed to clarify so I don't seem like a hypocrite.
Adding onto that, trauma's not a competition.
4. Mental illnesses often have physical manifestations.
Some mental illnesses can have physical symptoms. Migraines, stomach issues, fainting, and these are just a few. So no, it's not "all in my head."
"All in your head" God, that phrase pisses me off. Our brain is literally who we are. Everything else is just systems to keep it alive. "In our head" is the most important part of the human body. It's like saying "Oh, can't walk? Pshh. Quit being so dramatic. It's all in your legs."
Word. People think of brains as some mystical black box where who-knows-what happens and thoughts come out. It's literally a machine made of moving parts. Like any other complex machine, it has specialized parts that carry out specific tasks.
If your friend's car breaks down would just say "ah suck it up and drive, it's all in your engine!"
3. It's a symptom of a bigger problem - our culture.
ADHD is like the diabetes of mental illness. It can be managed with discipline and/or meds. But it can also wreck your life.
It's hard, even with medication I struggle with it. Work piles up and sometimes I can handle it and sometimes it's just too much and my brain checks out.
One thing that many people with ADHD have is rejection sensitivity disphoria and it's not commonly known, but along with all of the problems ADHD can cause the person suffering from Rejection Sensitivity Disphoria may be feeling alone and always wondering what they've done wrong to people, so even just randomly texting good morning can make someone's day and make then more motivated to do what they have to do which will in turn improve somebody's life
2. No one chooses it.
That mental illnesses actually exist, and I'm not just making this sh*t up. It's amazing how many people who have never personally had to deal with, or don't know any people who have dealt with mental illness that just believe any mental illness can be summed up to not "sucking it up". They don't realize how badly I wish I could. How much I wish I could wake up in the morning and just be ok. How much I don't want to have negative and anxious thoughts.
They have no clue how hard it is to wake up some days when literally all I want to do is stay in bed and sleep. They were not there when I sat up all night seriously thinking about ending my life just so I don't have to deal with this anymore. I also wish they'd know how grateful they should feel for never having to put up with something that constantly consumes their thoughts and effects their actions daily. "Sucking it up" isn't always an option, learning to understand and support people who suffer from mental illness is. It's truly not hard to have just a little empathy.
1. Trying to maintain control is a daily struggle.
How hard it is to not spiral into an awful black pit when the depression kicks in. I failed at holding off a negative mood swing while I was at work the other day and went from gregarious and laughing to feeling like I should probably kill myself within a matter of minutes. The tiniest little thing can set it off, too. Finally decided to get professional help after the insistent urging of a close friend, so that's nice.
Same, I was at a family thing and went from having a great time, laughing, talking and stuff, to an hour later sitting alone and catching my self as I desperately looked around for a sharp object to kill myself bc someone got offended I accidentally talked over them. I know I need help but I just can't...
What would you like people to know about something you are struggling with?
Dating and the search for love and companionship... What a nightmare.
This journey plays out nothing like in the movies.
Every Prince or Princess (or everything in BTW) seems to have a touch of the psycho.
The things people say during what should be simple dinner conversation can leave a dining partner aghast.
Like... do you hear you?
Redditor detroit_michigldan wanted to discuss all the best ways to crash and burn when trying to make a romantic connection. They asked:
"You're on a date and it's going really great. What can another person say to ruin it completely?"
I once had a guy ask me if I was willing to follow him into the woods, depending on the price of the meal.
Yeah. No steak is worth that.
Plans After...
"Thanks for the ride but I have a date with someone else, I figured you wouldn't drive me if you knew I was going on a date with someone else and I really needed a ride."
"Online dating, talked to her for a while, finally got the courage to ask her out and then she said that as we got there."
iareyours
Mirror Image
“'You look just like my wife!'”
catalinachild
"I did have a guy tell me I reminded him of his son. I don’t believe English has a word to adequately describe my feelings at that time."
UnicornMagicRainbow
"That would definitely do it."
chaotica78
Third Wheel
"'Hope you don't mind if my mother joins us.'"
ofsquire
"Actually had a girl do this on a first date because she had anxiety issues. Honestly wasn’t bad except that 90% of the time she was silent and her mom talked over her."
"I didn’t mind that much and wouldn’t have minded trying again when she was more comfortable except that she was let go at the company we worked at and she deleted her social media profiles and she never responded on her number. Ah well."
Seightx
Liar
"'Hey bro aren't you gay? I made out with you last night.'"
"Random dude I've never seen before in front of my (f) date."
JHXC16
Was he lying though?
Filter Issues
"'You looked better on Tinder.'"
waqasnaseem07
"Isn’t it basic knowledge that everybody looks slightly worse than the worst picture you can find?"
no_user_ID_found
The Past
"'My ex used to do that too.'"
xxIvyOF
"Yep. I’ve definitely had two otherwise-decent-guy date-situations sour because the ex-comparisons just would not stop flowing. No woman wants to be seen as interchangeable—I’m not here to perfectly fill that ex-sized hole in your life. Focusing on the present moment and a future we could build together is a courtesy we need to grant each other in earliest dates of dating."
LarkScarlett
Powerless
"'I'm an alpha, you cant handle my top energy.'"
Midnightgay28
"I actually left a dude in the middle of dinner, in part, for saying this. I ordered an Uber under the table while pretending to listen to him. Went to the bathroom, and never came back. That was when I was young. Now I’d just say, 'How about we enjoy this meal in silence, before we head our separate ways.'”
UnicornMagicRainbow
Mommy...
"'Mother says I should be back by 9.'"
"Saying 'mother says' just feels weird."
bunnyrut
"That gives me Norman Bates vibes."
Werewolf_lover20
"'Mother says alligators are aggressive because they have an overabundance of teeth, but lack a toothbrush.'"
sodaextraiceplease
Obvs...
"'If you were going to be murdered, what method would you prefer. Purely hypothetical. Obvs.'"
Specific_Tap7296
If it looks anything like a Dateline NBC episode... RUN!
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Despite the advancement of technology rendering people left to their own devices–literally–to entertain them, there are some leisurely activities that will never go out of style.
Or so you would think.
Do people still knit to pass the time? Are people actively collecting stamps?
It depends on who's asking.
Curious to hear about hobby trends, Redditor gizehgizeh asked:
"What are once popular hobbies that are slowly dying these days?"

Before we've become conditioned to living on our phones, these activities used to keep people occupied.
Before Texting, There Was This
"Letter writing."
– littlekingMT
Literal And Tangible Joy
"Well the internet killed pen pals for sure. I do remember I had a Japanese girl for a penpal maybe back in 2007 or so. I honestly don't remember how it started, pretty sure some website, but that was a fun experience. But now I can just straight up talk to foreign people real time, lol. But yea getting a physical letter that someone took the time to write and mail still is hard to beat feelings wise."
– skyburnsred
Model Trains
"When I was growing up, every town had a model train store in it. Now I have one in region and everything else has to be bought online."
– Hairy_Effective1172
Pretty Rocks
"Don’t see anyone playing marbles anymore, I had an awesome collection in school."
– sheeple85
"I had some marbles as a kid in the 90s. My grandma got them for me and I had no idea what I was supposed to do with them. I always imagined them as a thing kids in the 40s played with."
– Ryoukugan
People Were Moving Canvases
"Paintball has been dying a slow death since 2006. Sad, really."
– hobo_recycler
Before the general population began hating clutter, collecting was once a "thing."
Precious Coins
"Coin collecting... I'm a silver/gold nut and I'm always hunting for precious metal coins. whenever I go into a shop they get all excited because 'no one under 70 collects coins anymore.'"
– ThatFishySmell99
Post It
"Stamp collecting."
– spooky_scully_mulder
"Collecting in general, really. Of course there are still prominent collectors but it's slipped more into enthusiast and niche territory than being a popular hobby that you might expect anyone to have."
– iuytrefdgh436yujhe2
What A Gem
"Rockhounding was immensely popular back in the 1950's and 1960's. Personally, I think it's a fascinating and fulfilling hobby, but when I go to a meeting at a rock and gem club, I'm usually the youngest one in the room by several decades."
– filthy_lucre
People once enjoyed making things.
Admiring The View
"Stained glass. I learned how to make it from my old man, and my junior high art class teacher also taught it. Very few artisans are still around."
– brobeanzhitler
Metal Vocation
"Black smithing."
– kenworth117
"I bought a forge to try. It’s insanely hard work, and crazy expensive. I still haven’t finished a piece."
– DSentvalue
Scrapbooking
"Yeah. I'm watching the arts and crafts stores around me completely uninstalling their racks for specialty paper. Now the only thing they have is mega packs of repeating colors/images. To boot all the inclusions like papercraft/die-cut things, washi tape, scissors, stickers, etc have gotten so expensive I would rather go buy $5 bags at value village to get an assortment of things versus buying anything new. I really, really miss yard sales for the same reasons."
– Phantasmai
I envy people who have jobs that are basically their hobbies.
Not everyone gets paid doing what they actually enjoy and have a profound level of passion for.
If they do, kudos to them.
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When we first meet someone–whether through mutual friends, at school, or in a new work setting–we generally feel people out to determine if they're worth getting to know.
While the process could take time, some people make our jobs much easier after spotting instant red flags.
Curious to hear about our general radar of people, Redditor xxFluffie asked:
"What is something that makes you immediately dislike someone?"

Some people just think they are absolutely hilarious and never realize they're the only ones laughing.
Next In Line
"They laugh about having screwed someone else over. If you think you're not next, well, you'll learn."
– whiznat
Unfunny
"when you mention you don't like a thing and they immediately do that thing 'as a joke.'"
– wayfinder
Playing Devil's Advocate
"Kneejerk contrarians. People who, no matter what you say you like or believe, just have to dismiss it and say they like or think the opposite."
– BubbhaJebus
People who put others down get slammed here.
Bad Parents
"When they treat their kids sh**ty in public. I don't mean handling tantrums, setting a rule, having to hurry to the train etc. I mean perfectly normal-behaved kids getting in trouble for trailing along peacefully, looking at things, asking questions etc."
"If you don't like tiny humans who learn the world, why have them??"
– raxeira-etterath
Public Humiliation
"Treating people sh**ty in public for laughs. Like being rude to service workers because they think it’s funny. Big red flag."
– Ok_Personality_1080
Simply Uncalled For
"Someone who is a d*ck to other people or animals for no reason."
– xebt1000
Those with ulterior motives rubs people the wrong way.
The Scheme
"If they try to get me to join their MLM scheme."
– spazmcgee1
Hard Sell
"A guy I used to be friends with in high school reached out a couple of years after graduating about a business opportunity he wanted my opinion on because 'you've always been smart', then he set up a Skype call and brought some other dude into the call and they started trying to sell me on what was clearly an MLM scheme. The guy went from friend to 'I'm never talking to you again' in a matter of 10 minutes."
– Mental-Afternoon-164
A Timeline
"Good gawd, this! I've had more than one exposure to this abject bullsh**tery..."
- Back in the late 80's/early 90's I was invited to a meeting of literally the OG "Pyramid" where you're recruited to pay in, and then you go out and recruit others to pay in, and the last in line got f'kall.
- In 1995 I had a coworker try to reel me into Amway, which was a hard no.
- In 2000 it was Pampered Chef, though to be fair they did have useful products.
- In 2009 a coworker tried to get me into some stupid video calling service that was obviously stupid from the description. He even got offended when I called bullsh*t.
– Mystical_Cat
Too much ego is a no-go.
I Can Do Better
"Being a b*tch just to stroke their own ego."
"We get it, you can lift 5lbs more than the 12 year old, you don't have to rub it in their face just because you're slightly better"
– Livia_Pivia
Can't Top This
"Oh, you did <story that's been told>? That's nothing! I did <implausible story>.
"I get the whole empathy through relating common experience, and I'm someone who does that (which drives some people crazy on its own), but there's a big different by empathising through common experience, and one-upmanship."
– Tisarwat
Lacking Conversational Etiquette
"Starting to talk over me when I was already talking."
"Stop it you rude, arrogant jerk."
– R33Gtst
If one or more of these traits sound familiar to you, you're not alone.
We don't have time for braggadocios, pyramid-schemers, and conversation interrupters.
And that's just for starters.
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Children tend to believe just about anything they hear.
That there are monsters under your bed, watching too much TV will make your head explode, and silly faces will be permanent if you make them too often.
The sky is truly the limit when it comes to silly things that children will believe.
Some call it naivitée, other's youthful innocence.
But it's hard not to look back with embarrassment on certain things we believed as a child, that today might simply seem dumb.
Redditor Disastrous_Toe_6548 was curious to learn the multitude of silly things people believed when they were children, leading them to ask:
"What's the dumbest thing you believed as a kid?"
Pleading to deaf ears...
"My dad told me he had hearing loss and couldn't hear me if I whined because my pitch would get too high."
"Would completely ignore me until I asked him questions in a normal voice."
"Trusted him implicitly until I was 12 and he yelled at my younger brother for whining."- Tyrion_Stark.
Get it while you can.
"That they took everything off the shelves when the supermarket closed."- fgyfddg.
Silly superstitions.
"My grandfather used to tell me that if I played with the fire, I'd pee the bed."
"I believed him for a while, until I got older."
"I think he was just trying to protect me from the fire."- teddypa1981.
"Rain, rain go away..."
"That if it was raining where I was, it was raining everywhere in the world."- morningshartz.
Age is just a number.
"My parents used to seem really old to me, so much so I believed they grew up like cave people as children, wearing giant leaves for clothes and what not."- Laleena_.
So that's how they're made!
"That smokestacks from the power plant created clouds."- Scaniarix.
An instant cure.
"The sun gives you sunburns, therefore, moonlight should heal them."- velocipeter.
Better safe than sorry.
"Don't drink and drive meant all drinks."
"My dad was super confused when I told him he wasn't allowed to have any soda until we got home."- hulagirlslovetoparty.
Don't believe everything you see on TV.
"There was an episode of Mickey Mouse where Mickey couldn’t reach something at first, so he tried again and somehow his arm was long enough to reach it."
"As a small kid I believed that if I couldn’t reach something, I should just try reaching for it again and my arm would then somehow be long enough to reach it."- That-Dutch-Person.
The miracle of childbirth.
"That babies are pooped out."
"When I was like 7 I was listening to my aunt as she explained that childbirth was pretty intense and painful for her, and I was all solemnly like, 'yeah, sometimes just my poops are painful, I don’t think I could get a baby out' and she went 'um, WHAT?' and her reaction made me realize real quick that I had f*cked up somewhere and I tried to change the subject while my mind was just reeling lol."- thesoundingfurrows.
Oh to be a child again.
And to believe literally everything you're told.
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