Life is full of hard lessons. Whether it's how to manage friendships and expectations of other people, or realizing that even if you do your best, things don't always work out. That's okay - what's really important is embracing the challenges and focusing on your strengths.
Liteboyy asked: What's the hardest metaphorical pill you've had to swallow?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
10. Friendships don't always revolve around just you.
Sometimes your friends don't consider themselves as close to you as you do to them. The hard pill: This doesn't make them a bad friend, it just means that everyone has their own social network and you can't always be at the center of everyone's.
This didn't affect me as much as I thought it would but I've seen it really hurt some other friends of mine.
I got married last year. I've been saying for years that even though the guy who was my Best Man was pretty much a lock for the position (since we've been friends for almost 20 years now), if he ever gets married I already know who his Best Man will be and it's not me.
The guy who was my runner up for the position is getting married next month and I'm not even in the wedding party.
It can be hard to face the fact that your best friend may not see you as their best friend, but understanding empathy and realizing that everybody has their own lives is an important skill to have in order to ground yourself and keep yourself from being a narcissistic dickhead.
I'm only 20 and nowhere near getting married, but sometimes I just like to imagine my wedding party for shits and giggles. There's 2 people that currently have a spot locked on: a close friend who I've known literally my entire life because our parents are best friends, and a guy who I've known for less than two years but in that time span he's pretty much become an older brother to me. Life is crazy.
9. It's possible to like bad people.
Just cause you like someone doesn't make them not a sh*tty person.
Also, just because someone is a sh*tty person doesn't mean no one will like them.
And just because someone doesn't like you that doesn't mean they're a sh*tty person
8. Necessity is the mother of invention.
No matter how wrong someone is or how painfully obvious a solution to one of their problems is to you, sometimes they have to figure it out on their own and there's nothing you can do to change that.
Having a kid taught me this. I can tell her the stove is hot, but it has to be experienced anyway. Same with, certain things are sharp. No matter how I explain it, or even try to show her, she'll end up testing it.
No matter how I explain it, or even try to show her, she'll end up testing it.
"Show her" how? Like getting her hand close to the heat to show that it would hurt to touch it? I'm wondering what's the best way to go about teaching her that.
7. We aren't all a match.
You're not meant for some people like some people aren't meant for you.
"One day, when you are 14, 28 or 65, you will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die.
However, the saddest, most awful truth you will ever come to find –– is they are not always with whom we spend our lives."
6. Gotta roll with it.
Super simple but...some things aren't just meant to be. A relationship, job, whatever. It's not lack of trying or wanting. It's just how she goes, bubs. The f*cking way she goes.
And sometimes you end up prostituting yourself for cheeseburgers. Way she goes.
5. Perfection is not a reasonable expectation.
Sometimes trying my best is not enough.
It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not failure; that is life.
Inversely, I often fool myself into thinking I'm trying my hardest when I'm not.
4. Self-reflection is undervalued.
Sometimes I'M the problem. I'M the one who needs to chill out and back away from the situation.
Edit: holy crap I leave reddit for one day and my inbox has exploded. Obligatory thanks for the gold and silver!
So many people live and die without ever truly understanding this
But how do you stop blaming yourself for everything and being constantly worried that you said or did something wrong, even if logically you know it isn't a big deal?
I used to be an arrogant asshole, until I realized how much of a dick I was being and became extremely overcritical of myself. It's very much affecting my quality of life.
EDIT: Just wanted to say I really appreciate all of these responses, it helps a lot just to know that I'm not the only one who deals with this, and I hope it will also help others.
Same way, man. As hard as it sounds, I just be myself. I think more in social situaitons how I might respond that someone might take as being a dick. Sometimes its fine to make light hearted jabs and jokes but I just keep to myself more.
Really, people will judge you so you might as well be yourself. But, it's good you're making an effort to improve something you dislike about yourself. I wish you the best of luck.
3. You can't control other people.
The only constant in my life is me. I can do all I want to keep another person in my life, but we ultimately do not decide whether they stick around or not.
2. Selfishness isn't always a negative thing.
That sometimes you have to forgive people for being selfish. And that sometimes you yourself have to be selfish.
That was really big for me. Learning that being selfish IS OKAY. You don't always have to focus on everyone else, sometimes you need to focus on yourself.
1. Cherish the experience and always continue to learn and grow.
I HATE what I went to college for. Stuffed that four-year degree in a blender and found a new job. Couldn't be happier now, even with less money
I did the same thing, and went from working in a depressing laboratory to running my own doggy daycare. I could not be happier.