Thoughtful People Reveal The Simple Epiphanies That Changed Their Lives
It's always such an interesting, refreshing experience to have a simple thought which changes the entire way you approach situations throughout your life. These thoughts can build over time or they can come completely out of nowhere. And sometimes, other people even impart their own wisdom onto us.
Redditor Orieonma came curiously to the internet for some insight into their own personal epiphanies:
Here were some of the answers.
The Getting There
I don't hate my job, I hate my commute.
Your Own Path
That I didn't need to reach the same milestones as other people unless I wanted to. That my goals in life could be different from my peers
I once took a drink of soda when I thought it was milk. It was the most disgusting thing. But I like soda. It made me realize that whether you like something or not is just as much about expectation as it is about what you're actually getting...
What's Gonna Come Will Come
While watching a play of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern for an AP Lit class my senior year of high school, something they said really clicked. They were having the existential crisis towards the end of the play, scared of what was coming next since their time was up, in accordance to Hamlet.
"But if we don't know what comes next, why be afraid of it?"
For some reason that's stuck with me, don't fear the unknown, because you can't know until you face it. The nightmares of what comes after death haven't come back since.
I used to be lazy and a procrastinator. Behind on credit cards, behind on tax returns, mail unopened, bill collectors calling, dishes piling up in the sink.
I saw a psychologist, and he pointed out that I was making my own life very difficult. Penalties and interest were costing me thousands. Letting small problems multiply was creating much more effort later on. "Laziness is hard work," he said. "Staying on top of things simply makes life easier."
It was the exact opposite of my philosophy at the time. It seemed "easy" to ignore things and let it all pile up around me. But in reality every day was a slog and a chore. I had a constant buzz of worry in my head about the things I was putting off.
Today, my house is clean, my credit score is 780, and my tax refund should arrive any day now. Not because I'm some sort of awesome go-getter, but because I want my life to be easy and carefree. Laziness is just too much hard work.
The Word Is No
You can say no. Oh you can say no, you can say no to the guy asking you a question unsolicited, you can refuse flyers, you can say no to the cashier when she asks do you want to donate to the children's cancer fund? It doesn't make me an a-hole, I just don't want it and I can deny it if I so choose.
Work And Loss
I realized the other day that when you're trying working to improve yourself you might lose a couple relationships, but that is not always a bad thing. Losing that relationship just means they are not making you better or they are not helping you move towards your goals, and you will develop relationships in the process that are are after their goals and they will help you reach your goals and better yourself.
My roommates have been making comments about my life style lately that aren't true. Making claims that I'm wasting my life and getting nothing done. We are all college aged and I am currently working a full time job so I will be able to pay for school while all their money comes from their families.
I realized that they don't have a clue what I'm doing with my life and that I don't have to deal with them past this semester, so why bother my self with people who are bringing me down making me feel like it's my fault. They are the ones slowing me down. So I decided I'm moving out on my own to focus on my life without them.
Look For Reasons To Be Happy
Being negative doesn't make me any happier. It's okay to get upset but always complaining and focusing on the negative doesn't make me happy. I found that if I can recognize the things to be grateful for, I am a much happier and content person.
Keep your head up.
When I was a kid I usually looked down at my feet when walking or standing around, even while talking to people.
I vividly remember walking to school one day when I was 15 years old and thinking to myself why are you looking at your feet? Nobody is going to respect you if you can't look them in the face.
So I looked up and have done so ever since. I think my self-esteem grew 3 sizes that day.
That I can be a toxic person. I was always the victim and hurt others in the process
Now I'm just trying to improve and be a better person.
That you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Helped me cut off toxic relationships which were making my life miserable.
Solving Social Anxiety
That nobody cared about me. I don't mean that to be depressive. I get anxious in party-type situations. I was going to a wedding and was anxious about people's expectations. My dad had had enough, stopped me, and asked whose wedding it was. I said "Jim's" and he said, "oh, not yours?" I said no. To which he then replied "nobody cares about you here. Your only job is to show up, eat if you want, dance if you want, but realize you can sit on your a** the entire night and it will effect nobody."
I've never been anxious at events since then.
How To Be In Control
That I to some extent can control my mood. Had been feeling a bit down for a few days in a row. I met someone on my walk to the tube. Who smiled and said good morning. I realised I felt a tiny bit more happy. So on the rest of my walk to the tube, the tube ride and the short walk before I was going to be at work I made it my mission to look everyone I got the chance to in the eye. Smile and at least give a small nod good morning or say it out loud.
By the time I arrived at work I feel rather upbeat and in a good mood. That was the day I realised I really could control my mood, and decide if I wanted to be in a good mood or not that day.
People aren't AGAINST me, they're FOR themselves. That makes me not an enemy, but a resource. I am responsible for myself as a resource and if I think I am taken advantage of, I've every right to remove myself from their lives. I am a privilege, not a right.
Emotions make a lot more sense after realising I can be feeling two or more different emotions at the same time. I guess that's what is meant by emotional literacy.
Representing Yourself Well
It matters what people think.
I used to be 'that guy' who always buried my nose in a book and it earned me a reputation as thinking I'm better than everyone else but now that I've closed that chapter in my life and began interacting with those around me, my life has improved dramatically.
For example, I shoot the sh** with the old-timers at the gym now. They think I'm a good guy and one of them gave me a heads up about a job opening at his company and put in a good word for me. I ended up getting hired. If I didn't care what people thought and indulged my natural, bookish tendencies; I'd be in a dead-end job right now.
If I want to stop unhealthy behaviors (drinking too much, eating junk, being lazy) all I need to do is stop doing it. Simple as that. No mind games. No excuses. Just don't do it. It's not hard. It's discipline.
Idk why that just clicked for me one day.
What It Means To You
Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past.
I had a really hard time forgiving someone, and then it just hit me: "let it go, it doesn't really matter, and it's hurting yourself." During the time I was angry at the person and I couldn't forgive them, I knew the logic behind forgiving someone is that you are forgiving them for your benefit, not for them, but I couldn't let the anger go. I don't know how I was able to finally forgive, there is no secret for that, I guess just time. But when I had that epiphany of just let it go, it changed my life because the anger lifted and I was happier in all aspects in my life. There should be a life hack to get over these emotional obstacles like forgiveness or getting rejected.
I was overweight and unhappy with myself and one day it hit me as i asked myself "what am I waiting for, do something about it". This energizing clarity came over me as I realized what the f*** am I waiting for, I'm just going to keep being unhappy. So I started eating right and excersizing. lost 60 lbs.
The popular kids at school never really put me down. I put myself there. I was so insecure about myself that I just projected my own feelings onto their actions.
Definitions Of Success
That I don't need more qualifications to be successful, I am already successful, that work is NOT my identity, does not provide me with my self-worth. That I am enough as I am in this moment. That I am smart, capable and that I do not need to follow societies ideals of what a woman is supposed to be. No one tells me what to do, I fit no man's mold. I am who I am. And I am responsible for my own happiness no one else is. I've let go of the past, I've let go of the pressures and I am free.
This is one that definitely made me less anxious about growing up. When I was younger I was incredibly intimidated about doing "grown up" things like going to the bank, going to the doctor's alone, etc. I just assumed that you had to know exactly where to go, who to talk to and what to do. Well, I realized how ridiculous that was. No one expects someone else to know everything and people who work with the public anticipate that they will be asked questions. All you really need to do to be prepared for accomplishing things in adulthood is be polite, smile and ask somene how to do the thing you're trying to do. If someone ever gives you gruff about it, remember that they are the -sshole, not you.
I was on a date with someone who I'd nervously asked out after we both got killed in a LARP. Toward the end of dinner she says that she's not really interested in dating me but that she thinks we'd be great friends. At that moment, it.... felt like a video game. As if a red orb of angst floated to me and a dialogue box popped up with options and I realized that I had totally the option to accept that this was a bit unfortunate but we could still have a fun time. I chose that and had this "doot-doot-do-do-ding!" Play in my head that I'd leveled-up in terms of emotional maturity. We went to the bookstore and had a great rest of our evening.
We remain friends, though have drifted apart since I moved abroad.
Do things for their own sake. Don't go to work to make a paycheck. Work to work. Don't love for sex, marriage or kids. Love to love. Clean to clean not to have a clean room. Expectations lead to disappointment. It will still feel wonderful when you get that promotion, get married, have a clean home but when things fall apart (which given enough time everything will) it's okay. Stop being in love and start loving. Stop being musical and play music. It's this mentality that has made me a much better man in so many ways. I'm much stronger and resilient. A good exercise is to make something like a painting or a story, pour your heart out into it and when it's done throw it away. Clean up a street that is not your own. If you can appreciate maintaining, creating, building and destroying itself you have learned to appreciate things as they are. It's so much easier to do things now that there is less fear of failure.