Redditor take_me_there_ asked:
"What WOULD you wish on your worst enemy?"
This One Would Hurt
"A conscience. Let her realize the horrific things she’s done."
- Jenny010137
"Seriously. Introspection, self awareness, and empathy are traits that would improve a lot of sh*tty people."
- el_muerte17
"Oh I wish I had thought of this one. If my enemy had a conscience, wow life would be much different."
- Shelbysouth43
No Pearly Whites For You
"I’d like all their teeth to turn really yellow and stay yellow no matter what they do."
- toothfixingfiend
"What did I ever do to you?"
- Spideredd
"I don't even know you! Give me back my enamel!"
- AngryMustache9
Everything You Own Is Orange Now
Snl Cheetos GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Permanent Cheeto fingers. Just orange cheese dust getting on everything."
- cocoapuff1721
"This has to be one of the most evil things I ever heard, yet absolutely hilarious."
-Merk0411
"The Midas Touch: Snack Edition"
- MaryVenetia
Ouch, But Forever
"Stubbing and breaking their toe and right as it’s about to be done healing it happens again over and over for the rest of their pitiful time on this hell we call earth."
- No-Bee-2971
"Sisyphoot"
- Alpha_6
"More of a Toemetheus imo"
- PykeTheDrowned
Self Reflection
"For them to realize how big of an a-hole they are."
- mayhemanaged
"Same for me. The trouble is mine probably knows what a tremendous a-hole he is, and just doesn't care (it's what defines him, is his outlook more than likely), so, give mine a conscience as well, he undeniably lacks one."
- RhoadsOfRock
"a crushing moment of self realization is something that can destroy you mentally. I wish that on them."
- chancetodream
Bury Them Under A Mountain Of Minor Inconveniences
"Always being hungry two hours after eating no matter how large the meal. Slow internet. Traffic jams no matter the location. Self doubt. Allergies. Favorite shows spoiled."
"Nothing major enough to be life altering but constant, low grade inconveniences that wear on your soul every day."
- I_Love_Small_Br**sts
"Every bite of food they eat/drink they drink being slightly the wrong temperature."
"Coffee? Warm but not hot. Cola? Cool, but not cold. Muffin? Ever so slightly frozen."
"Not enough to ruin their life, but just enough to not quite have full enjoyment of anything.."
- HappiHappiHappi
They'll Never Be Able To Use Their Computer Again
"Quick scan with McAfee on their computer."
- halflife_3
"You f**king monster."
- Orion_2kTC
"The constant pop-ups from McAfee is too far."
- _Land_Rover_Series_3
That's A New Level Of Evil
"Bed bugs."
- thrawn1825
"Currently dealing with bed bugs, and I can absolutely confirm this is the kind of thing I would wish upon my worst enemy. It is miserable and painful, and I've tried everything to get rid of them at this point."
"I would easily wish this upon my worst enemy, x10."
- ArbitrarilyStagnant
"Oh hell no, you went there... Hopefully they aren't living in an apartment complex or you've cursed everyone in the building."
- expect_less
Well of course I know him. He’s me.
Animated GIFGiphy"$100,000. I sure could use it."
- Sparklesperson
"'It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy'"
- FishyVonFishenHymer
"Lol I thought this was that deep sh*t like 'pray for those you resent to have all the things you want in life….' Then I realized."
- No-Chipmunk9527
Forever Constipated
the powerpuff girls bubbles GIFGiphy"That they can never have a satisfying poop. They always feel like they have to go to the bathroom and when they do nothing comes."
- [User Deleted]
"Wow. That's evil. Always feeling the need to pee would be good (as in horrific) too."
- ipakookapi
We definitely don't recommend implementing any of these plans (not that most would actually be possible), but here's some new ideas for the next time you're stuck in a meeting with your most annoying coworker and need a little fantastical escape.
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Religious Twitter user Kristen Hodges ignited hellfire after listing "sins" that will bar you from entering the pearly gates.
She devotes 95% of her tweeting activities to Jesus, yet her latest tweet has nothing to do with the teachings found in the New Testament.
According to Hodges's gospel, "being LGBT" and "getting drunk/high" are sins, and anyone who is guilty of such cannot be a Christian.
She bullet-listed other unspeakable acts such as "sex before marriage," "being lustful," "masturbation," "cheating/lying," and "cursing/quick to anger" as sins.
Although she conceded that "God loves everyone," she assured that "not everyone will go to Heaven!"
Her tweet got over three thousand responses, with many of them from users who forfeited their ticket to heaven by happily committing one of Hodges's sins: "cursing/quick to anger."
@LoboExplosivo/Twitter
@SpookyPrototype/Twitter
@BethLynch2020/Twitter
Drinks are on this guy.
@tonyposnanski/Twitter
@natfinnonE @KHodgess I guess typing masturbation is a sin. I’m a sinner.— Tony Posnanski (@Tony Posnanski) 1561140766
Sinners are getting lubed up.
@natfinnonE @tonyposnanski @KHodgess Oh I’m sinning right now 😳— eric molina (@eric molina) 1561140925
@BCDreyer/Twitter
This user called out her tendency to be holier than thou.
Hodges may have conveniently forgotten about judging others (James 4:11).
@KHodgess @calebebling You seem pretty comfortable judging, which is a sin. So...— Evan A. LaChance (@Evan A. LaChance) 1561149985
@KHodgess Judge not lest ye be judged. I'm thinking you missed out on that one. Worry about yourself. 🤔👍— Andrew Goss 👊USAF👊 (@Andrew Goss 👊USAF👊) 1561142249
What is heaven, really?
Or hell, for that matter?
@OutlierShME @gerivas66 @winewithdara @RockyMtnShaggy @A_DVS_NTT @KHodgess If hell exists, I bet it’s a party.— 💜🖤🤍♠️ THEE Rain - “Hello, I must be going” (@💜🖤🤍♠️ THEE Rain - “Hello, I must be going”) 1561155571
This user was more merciful.
@KHodgess Messages like this is exactly why people are leaving the church in droves. Why don’t you check the plank… https://t.co/bZ0Mw5iD45— Cynthy Wu (@Cynthy Wu) 1561157555
Hodges is known for her interpretation of Christianity.
In a previous tweet, she insisted "you are not born wanting the same sex" and that by rejecting His word, you are "insulting a perfect creator."
She contradicted herself by vowing to "stand up for people," but remained uncompromising about her anti-LGBTQ views.
Her reality check continued.
@KHodgess it’s not YOUR place to belittle anyone. it’s not YOR place to make these people feel bad. THIS is the kin… https://t.co/8VJp0tG6K4— mak (@mak) 1536439535
@KHodgess You wear glasses - did God not create you with imperfect eyes? Why insult Him by wearing glasses?— jessica harvey (@jessica harvey) 1536555067
@KHodgess "The More You Know..." https://t.co/ost34veTcE https://t.co/ugAWpjkgyn— John Pavlovitz (@John Pavlovitz) 1561159162
Hell hath no fury like the internet fighting for justice, equality and minding your own business.
For many modern inclusive Christian organizations, the focus of The Bible and their faith draws more from the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus introduced The Beatitudes. Instead of condemnation, it speaks of blessings on certain behaviors and actions.
A copy of The Beatitudes, suitable for framing and gift giving, is available here.
