Not all folks who are married are meant to be together. That is just a sad fact of life.
Unfortunately, more often than not, those folks do go ahead with the marriage. And they pay lavishly for ceremonies, to fly families out, for food--only to realize on that night that, more likely than not, they are doomed.
Here were some of those stories.
My sister-in-law got married last fall and after the ceremony they got in an epic fight over the marriage certificate and didn't come to the reception until 2 hours after it started. A week later, they separated for a few weeks while trashing each other on Facebook. They're still together and she's now pregnant.
I also photographed this wedding and it was the most stressful professional experience I've ever had. I forgot to mention too that the groom and groomsmen dropped a bunch if acid before the ceremony and continued into the reception. He freaked out, had a panic attack, and left.
An Odd Choice
The groom drunkenly cornered my roommate and demanded a blow job as a wedding gift. Apparently he was under the mistaken impression that all gay men are excited to give pretty much anyone a blow job at any time. My roommate declined the invitation.
Shockingly, that marriage did not last.
It's The Drink That Killed It
My good friend was marrying this guy. We will call him Ned. Ned definitely had a drinking problem that everyone swept under the rug. He promised my friend he would keep it under wraps for the wedding. He made it down the aisle but by the reception he was binge drinking.
By then end of the night the groom Ned, completely disappeared. No one could find him. A few nervous laughs turned into mild panic when the lights were turned on in an effort to find him. My husband decided to go look for him in the parking lot where he finds ned on his lips in the dirt. He had smoked a joint and got the spins. My husband tried to talk sense into him reminding him "this is your wedding dude!"
He got Ned to come inside and did the most cringey walk of shame past the bride's family who was very cross with him. Ned was supposed to drive them 11 miles from the venue to their hotel in bride's grandfather's vintage Corvette. He was too drunk to drive so the brides grandfather drove them and the bride had to sit on the middle armrest with no seatbelts.
Grandpa drops them at the hotel. Bride barely gets groom up to the room where he passes out on the bed. Bride had to wander the halls looking for someone to help her out of her wedding dress since her groom was passed out drunk.
The word annulment was definitely floating around that next morning. As crushed as the bride was she stuck it out. 3 years later they are now separated and divorcing because he is still a drunk.
It's All About The Money Money Money
At a friends wedding ( 2 years ago) the bride kept the bar open until 3 am after the groom went home at 10pm. She kept telling everyone that she is just with him because he has money and a flat.
They are now going through a divorce after she cheated on him.
Nagging To Death
We were good friends with a couple who fought all the time. She wanted to get married desperately and he was indifferent. After years of nagging he finally proposed. On the day of the wedding, right before he walked out, he looked at us and sighed "Well, maybe now she will stop nagging at me and finally be happy"
They are now divorced - she cheated on him with some guy she used to date.
Inebriation Isn't A Good Look
The bride got so drunk that the bar cut her (and everyone else) off. The groom was also drunk. People started leaving at midnight, and the bride got mad and yelled about how they were all "ruining" her wedding because she wanted to dance and drink more.
I was their designated driver to get them to their hotel.
The entire drive there, they fought. She berated him. He cried. That was a long 20 minute drive. I could have scrubbed vomit out with cleaners, but the awkwardness has stained that car forever.
They've been together 7 years. Their daughter, born 9 months after the wedding, is adorable.
This Is Just Mean
During the cake cutting he smashed cake in her face. She immediately started crying and went to the bathroom for about 30 mins. Then they got into a huge fight and barely spoke the rest of the night. Shockingly they are still married, but they still fight all the time. She's my friend from college so we keep in touch occasionally. She never has good things to say about him.
Never Together, Truly
My brothers wedding. It was super uncomfortable and awkward during their engagement. My parents kept asking him if he was sure, he said yes. Then came the wedding. Super small. When they said to kiss, they both went in for a peck, but she turned her face at the last minute so he kissed her cheek. My husband yelled for them to do it again (I was also their wedding photographer and he knew I didn't get a good shot). The marriage only got weirder and worse from there. They acted like they were on an awkward first date every day. Finally a year later they divorced.
Alone In A Crowded Room
Husband disappeared two hours in to a six hour reception because he was bored. Just went into the house and hung out on his phone. It was a chill ranch thing with games and drinking and dancing. Adults only.
Also I didn't meet him until the wedding while we (me and the bride) hung out pretty frequently. So there was some lead up to that didn't help.
He wasn't cheating, just watching golf videos.
They lasted less than two months.
They didn't divorce because of that. Dude 180d as soon as the ring was on. Going golfing every night for hours with different groups of people. She asked him to limit it to a couple times a week. She suggested therapy. He blew her off. She got out and is much happier.
The wedding was semi-destination, 6 hours away. His friends drove out there and he ditched them too. The reception was more bon fire-y with free booze and yard games. Stuff both of them had done before with his friends. He bounced right after the obligatory wedding stuff when we finally got to do fun things.
I could try and psychoanalyze what he was thinking, but who knows. Probably some kind of regret.
What A Day. Who Wants To Remember That?!
The groom had his car stolen on the morning of the wedding and spent the whole day swearing and punching inanimate objects because, as we all heard a thousand times that day, not only was it "the most important thing in his life" it also wasn't insured.
The wedding was at a boy scout hall, for no apparent reason... and the reception was in the cafeteria at one of those Underwater World places with the glass tunnel, but no one was allowed to go see the fish because, get this, the whole day had a Lion King theme.
Then towards the end of the night the bride beat one of the bridesmaids half to death because she caught her sleeping with a groomsman who she tearfully admonished for "cheating on her'.
I have no idea how long the marriage lasted for, I never saw or heard from them again.