Redditor EveningAd3633 wanted to hear about all the reasons to abstain or let loose, so they asked:
"Do you think that waiting until you are married for sex is a good idea? Why or why not?"
Redditors from around the globe wanted to share their experiences.
No Touching
"I know a couple who are waiting until marriage. They both agree on it and are fine with it. But they have ridiculously over the top tickle fights. - _- It makes me so uncomfortable to witness. I'd almost rather see them bang in front of me. It's band camp levels of tension that just won't ever go away."
rlev97
Do we Fit?
"No. We waited and we were not compatible… eventually, he cheated and we got divorced. Also, being compatible sexually is not a reason to get married either."
Whatwhyohhh
"I don’t understand how people don’t get this. It’s the same as any other aspect of marriage—if you aren’t compatible, you shouldn’t get married. It would be like dating someone, and the entire time you’re both blindfolded."
"Then after you’re married you can FINALLY take your blindfold off only to find out your partner looks like someone set their face on fire and put it out with a pick axe. Every aspect of compatibility is important in a marriage."
"Yes, you both change and evolve but if you’re not both 100% committed to weathering these changes and adapting as a couple, then your marriage will probably not be a happy one!"
ThrowRA--scootscooti
All Aspects
"Personally, I think it's good to wait a while before having sex with someone to actually know them, but I wouldn't wait to be married... I think you should know the person that you are marrying on all aspect."
reidjanie
"WELL SAID - and just to take on so many of the other opinions on this thread, it is NOT a good idea to wait until after marriage. It’s not 'fine if you want' it’s actively a terrible idea IF you care about having a sex life. Hoping it will work out through sheer luck? Idiotic."
frecklie
Things Change
"No. Not saying you should f**k everyone that propositions you but you should make sure you are compatible with someone before marrying them. Too many people find out too late they can't stand someone's actual personality. Things change after sex, people calm down and get real, they stop being on their best behavior. Get to know the real person before you marry an intolerable a**hole."
Sithlord_unknownhost
Stay Calm
Relaxing Chill Out GIF by Talk StoopGiphy"If you want to wait, go for it. But don’t set yourself up for waiting until marriage, and then rush the marriage part just to get to the sex."
1107rwf
"Kid I work with is 24. Just got married. Did the deed. Now has a kid on the way. All within 3-4 months of meeting his wife at church. Great kid. But you can see it in his face already. The guy is STRESSED."
PostRdMalone
Roulette
tv land casino GIF by Lopez on TV LandGiphy"Paraphrasing Lewis Black: If you wait until marriage to have sex, then you are a gambler on a level I can't even freaking imagine."
Zerotan
Don’t judge...
"I would say it’s not about waiting until you are married but waiting until it is right for both of you. That’s the key point that a lot of people get wrong. They get to it for reasons other than it being right or feeling right."
"So if your belief is that you should have committed to a marriage, then that is what is going to feel right for you. It could also be that within hours (or even minutes) you can feel that it is right for you. Don’t judge the duration, judge the feeling that you have."
Icanicoke
Cause and Effect
"I’ve heard horror stories of marriages being destroyed because it wasn’t until after wedlock that they discovered their sex drives were entirely different. It causes depression, it causes divorce, and in some extreme cases, it pushes people to cheat. I just don’t think it’s worth it to wait when it could potentially make or break a relationship."
Hiding_In_The_Back
He was right...
"My step dad always told me, 'You might like the pair of jeans you have, but there's always a chance you'll find a pair that fits you better.' He was right. There was no shame in having sex before marriage, and he also taught me that as a female, it is perfectly OK to buy and have the condoms. It's also ok to reject a guy if he doesn't want to be safe. Your body is worth more than his sexual pleasure."
nivsei15
More than talk...
Heart GIF by BuzzFeedGiphy"No. Unless you're both asexual, sexual compatibility is an important part of a relationship, and that's not something you can determine just through conversation."
Deaf_Witch
"Sexual compatibility is important for asexual people too, as in having a similar lack of interest in it."
DescipleOfCorn
Thanks to these Redditors for opening up and sharing on such an important topic.
Some really valid points were made about communication, expectation, and compatibility.
Do you have any thoughts to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Reddit user u/MediocrePNumber6 asked:
"What's the biggest bachelor/bachelorette party or wedding night f**k up you have seen?"
20.
Myself and some mates went paintballing a few years ago and the other team was the groomsmen from a wedding happening the next day, all went well but at the end of the game the paintball host said "showdown between groom and best man" so they go back to back and walk 5 paces and shoot eachother but the best man shot him on the neck and it looked like the biggest hickey ever so id say it was fun to try explain that!
19.
I was at my uncles fiancés bachelorette party. The next morning we wake up and her engagement ring is missing. Her drunk brain reasoned it was safer to take her ring off to wash her hands in the club but she never put it back on after. We tried calling the place but they never found it. Probably made worse by the fact the ring was the grooms mothers engagement ring and she had picked him out of her 7 sons to take the ring for his fiancé. The groom was very cool about it and she felt really bad but they ended up having to get a lookalike for the wedding a few weeks later.
They're still married years later with kids so it's a happy ending.
18.
My buddy's bucks weekend was after the wedding. We partied in a hotel room for the night then met the bride and her party the next day to stay and party at a house for a few nights.. first night we got super hammered at the hotel, place got totally destroyed, tried to order a stripper to the room, instead a hooker showed up, no one wanted to have sex with her and she didn't speak much English so we had to pay her $400 to leave. Groom fell over on the hotel room floor that was covered in broken glass.. in the morning the groom disappears to a brothel..at the house all the strip joints that we called (it was a lot) to try and get a stripper we're calling back, new wife finds out, takes off the ring and gives it back to the groom.. very awkward. They are still married with two kids.
17.
My best man fell down some steps at a strip club. Another dude picked him up, but his foot must have been wedged under the stair. One almighty crunch later he was back on his drunken feet, only to wake up to this the next day.
16.
We had a big going away party for one of my buddies, as with all groups of soldiers - the night ended at the strip club (yeah I know). Anyways, one of the guys just happened to have gotten married earlier that day. He decided that rather than going home with his lovely bride on their wedding night, he would rather come with us while she went home.
They just announced they're getting divorced, it's been 2 months.
15.
GiphyWe are Greek-Americans. And not many Greeks actually break plates at weddings. But this bride insisted on breaking plates. So people are dancing and others are breaking plates by their feet. The bride (and others) are kneeling in a circle clapping around the people dancing.. and all the plates being thrown.
And as you could guess, a piece hit the bride in the face right under her eye and she started gushing blood all over. Her dress looks like it's out of a horror film. It took a while for the tiny nick to stop bleeding. But it was scary seeing her just start bleeding like that.
14.
Was at a bachelor party years ago, early 20s, for a friend and he got a private room with a stripper and had sex with her. Don't talk to him anymore for other reasons such as him being dead but the marriage fell apart pretty quick
13.
My BIL went go karting for his bachelor's. Came off, face planted, gravel rash all down the side of his face right before the wedding.
He went to hospital and got it bandaged. The dressings didn't come off until the morning of. 100% healed. Doctor was impressed and he lived to the honeymoon.
12.
A friend of mine worked as a bartender and told me that this 26 y/o girl was celebrating her bachelorette party when she saw a video of her fiancé having sex with another woman at his bachelor party. For almost an hour he had to act as this girl's therapist until she stumbled off into the night still depressed at the way things turned out.
11.
Wedding videographer here. I have full on seen people get married, sign the paperwork, and the dude goes off to gave sex with a bridesmaid the wedding night. It's honestly impressive how little time it takes to end that marriage.
10.
My old boss cheated on his bachelor party night, swore all his friends to secrecy, went through with the wedding then told her on the first night of their honeymoon out of guilt. Married and split up within 1 week!
9.
GiphyBuddy smashed his face on the first night. He passed out in the hotel wearing socks. Got up to go to the bathroom and slipped on the marble floor. His teeth went through his mouth. Blood everywhere. We called hotel staff to help. EMTs came, and two of us took him to an emergency dentist. He ended up leaving the next day. Worst parts: $8k in dental work, had to have his jaw wired shut, and was scheduled for his first day at a new job three days after the accident.
8.
I used to strip at bachelorette parties. Some brides to be were way too physical in ways I sometimes wondered if marriage at that point was a good idea for them.
7.
My gf went on one where they got a party bus. Everyone was drunk before getting on. They just drove around the town we live in after picking up all the guests (about a 20min drive gets you from one side to the other on a slow day). The toilet on the bus broke early on then started overflowing as people kept using it even after being told not to. 2 people had asthma attacks as they were allowed smoke on the bus but windows didnt open enough to ventilate for 15+ people smoking like trains. 1 person passed out and woke up only to projectile vomit all over the place.
Fights broke out after onboard alcohol supply ran out gf demanded to be dropped home as due to all the smoke her chest became heavily irritated and she couldnt ignore the smell of the busted toilet any longer. She got dropped off and then 2 people off the bus came to our door with her demanding I give them extra alcohol then trying to guilt me by saying its a gift for the happy couple (I planned their entire wedding for free and paid for the dj as a gift) so I just laughed and said no.
A month later they got married (the couple got alot of praise for having such a wonderful wedding on such a budget). 4 months later filed for divorce after one's drug habit came to light along with both realising they were cheating rings around each other.
6.
While smoking outside groom (brother of my fiancé at the time) started hitting on me and wanted to get a blow job off me - literally took his junk out etc. Apologised promptly and put it back after seeing my reaction, saying he's too drunk and excited. But then again, he has been cheating on his wife-to-be throughout their entire relationships, so not a big surprise he did it on their wedding night too. Just never thought it would be with me, I thought siblings partners are off limits for everyone no matter what!
5.
GiphyI have the opposite sort of story, my friend "rented" a sloth and had a very quiet party were they fed it sweet potatoes. It was apparently fun and cute.
The sloth came from a conservation organization and you can pay for a "sloth experience" in your home where a guy comes over with the sloth and you hang out for a while.
4.
Totally caused by ME. Drank too much free Champagne (son of a heart surgeon was groom) and I got chucked out of the reception for saying out loud the groom's sister was ugly. Got ousted from the friend group. Totally deserved, I was out of order and extremely drunk.
3.
A worked in a small family restaurant/pub in my small college town while i was in undergrad. We were the classiest "bar" in town, so we had a surprising number of bachelor/bachelorette parties come through. In one particularly bad incident i remember, we were the last stop at the end of a daytime bachelorette party.
They had toured a bunch of wineries/breweries, and most of the participants were trashed by the time they got there (around 4 PM). As soon as they walked in, the bride-to-be disappeared to the bathroom. A few minutes later, we noticed a lot of water begin streaming out under the door. She had puked everywhere, and somehow in the process RIPPED THE SINK OUT OF THE WALL!!! The icing on the cake, her mother in law had to carry her vomit covered butt out of the restaurant. We ended up having to shut down for a few days in order to repair the damage.
2.
Had a distant cousin get arrested on the way into the church to get married.
Credit to the bride. She said it's all paid for let's party. It became an impromptu family reunion. They had the jp marry them a week later
1.
Nothing worse than when one of the friends to the groom had a massive drunken meltdown over the fact that we weren't going to a strip club. Ugly crying and everything.