Modern life means existing both in the "real" world and as an online version of yourself. We often criticize and cancel people over the stupid stuff they post online, but we rarely celebrate people's internet accomplishments.
Let's change that.
One Reddit user asked:
Come, my fellow citizens of internet. Let us applaud one another for these mundane moments of e-greatness.
Not my Domainpaid pay day GIF Giphy
I sold a domain name for $1,500 a couple of months ago. That was pretty great. It was a company I owned briefly several years ago but ultimately closed. I kept renewing the domain because it was cheap, but sold it in a heartbeat when someone offered to buy it. It's now a parked site with crappy ads.
In the UK
I had the first authenticated twitter account in the UK. Well... it was MANY years ago (obviously) and it was for a company I was running. Twitter hadn't really come to the UK but I knew folks there. I wanted to get my company the badge so asked a mate that worked there. We ended up being the first in the UK to get it. I know this because like a month a later a BIG UK company got a verified account and it was in the trade press. No one would have cared about my little business.
Establishing a creative writing group that lasted about 10 years. There are still active friendships between members, but the creative writing part has been dropped due to various factors.
I wrote a story on a website and it got so popular it was translated in two different languages and my mom also found it and read it.
Very awkward because it was VERY smutty lol
Keep in mind this story is dated and written in 2012, I was 16 years old lol
If you want to check out my new project, click here. You all have sparked my creative flame!
Dog Famousdogs jumprope GIF Giphy
NASA follows my tumblr which I use to post photos of dogs I meet in the streets. I'm not even from the US. dogsinthestreet.tumblr.com.
- a guy DMed me about an old comment I made on another account about parenting. Said he looked at it from time to time when he felt like he needed guidance as a new dad. It was the sweetest thing.
- one time I apparently made someone pee outside of the bowl because they were laughing at a comment. The comment was one word, and it made my day.
- got a bunch of awards and like, words of encouragement a few months ago for an angsty dumb poem I posted.
If I had to pick the one I'm proudest of, it's definitely the one on top. The second is a tossup.
I'm 38 and my badge says NASA.....
I wrote a bull white paper/how-to back in 98 or 99, while still in high school, on how to install Linux on a particular Dell laptop. (Y'all kids laugh but 40yr olds know what I'm talking about! Crap took weeks of fiddling to get work!)
Some dude who worked for a small IT consulting company found it and reached out with questions. I helped him. He offered me a help desk position at his company. I quit my job at Kmart and commuted to NYC for work that summer. College time came but I'd already established myself as the kid who can do anything IT, so they were using me on big projects like pen testing banks.
They offered me $65k plus bonuses for certifications (they were a VAR for many vendors). I told mom and dad I wasn't going to college for music (Tuba performance!)
I'm 38 and my badge says NASA and I have ~20 PhDs under me.
I'd say that stupid paper on how to install Linux on a laptop was my greatest internet accomplishment.
Mike Dirnt from Green Day replied to me on Instagram multiple times. Commented on a picture of my bass guitar. He was my inspiration to pick up the bass, so I'd say that was one of my greatest accomplishments on the internet. #MikeDirntHomies.
A few years ago I was playing some random game on the computer called krunker.io, I was playing so good that the number one clan in that game invited me
Edit: I also forgot to add that almost every time I played I would get accused of hacking because I was that good with the sniper
I don't play anymore since the new updates made it just feel weird and I don't think the clan exists anymore, it was called opal.
"I am the captain now"
I created the original Captain Phillips "I am the captain now" meme in high school ~6 years ago. It got big enough to be stolen by dory all those other damn accounts. I ended up deleting the tweet because I hated comment notifications, since it got around 20k of each interaction. That was the biggest mistake to date because now no one believes that I created it besides a few classmates I don't speak to anymore smh.
"When you're in a group project with unreliable people"
Hey O!happy fun GIF Giphy
Barack Obama followed me back on twitter back in 2007/2008 when he was running for President.
Thanks to PSN I knew so many new friends! I was also able to help one of this friends, who is paraplegic, to get better at Destiny2! In November he didn't know that much about this game, and a week ago he was able to complete 2 raids (6 players activity) with us. :)
I made this classic Pip-Boy mod for Fallout New Vegas and Fallout 3. It's a mod that replaces the default arm-mounted Pip-Boy with a handheld one that harkens back to the model used in Fallout 1 and 2.
It turned out to be pretty popular, but frankly I was surprised that no one had made it already. At the time, there was a super futuristic PDA/tablet mod (which was cool, but not lore-friendly), and no classic Pip-Boy? Strange!
Thank You, I'm Next.Ariana Grande GIF Giphy
I've had a couple celebrities like my comment/tweets. The biggest being ariana grande. I don't know why. I'm not that interesting.
I've "made beats" as a hobby for 15 years or so.
A rather large producer stumbled on one of my beats and wanted to buy it from me (apparently this happens quite a bit).
So I sold him the rights to the track for what I'd consider an absurd amount of money.
Like a year and a half later my track; remade with higher quality samples was on a rather popular rappers album. You may have heard it, by no means a #1 hit but it was around. Heard it bumping in ppls cars a few times.
I legally can't tell anyone what song it is, and it doesn't really matter.
Point is it took me like an hour and a half to make a track, I posted it up somewhere then by chance this guy heard it. From there I was able to pay a full years rent up front when I got my money, to start with.
Really don't think I'll ever top that.
Actually, like right when the original X-box came out I got this pop up ad on a site "YOU WON AN X-BOX". I was stupid and I gave them my information.
I actually received an xbox like a month later. The fact that random pop up was legitimate and not a scam might be even more impressive than selling a track.
1.Grey Daze followed me on Instagram for a while. It was after I posted a Linkin Park mashup in honor of Chester Bennington. He was the singer for Grey Daze until they broke up in 1999. Then he went on to join Linkin Park. Him and Grey Daze had been talking about reuniting shortly before his suicide in 2017.
2. Mike Shinoda of Linkin Park liked a vocal part I submitted when he asked for fans to sing on one of his songs. I cried on both of these days.
Evil Dead Wiki
I'm a moderator of the Evil Dead Wiki. Tons of information I've added to articles over the four or five years I've been at it has started recently appearing in officially licensed merchandise (mainly the comics and prop replicas), directly copied and pasted from the site. It's been pretty surreal for me as a fan of the franchise to see how something I started doing out of boredom one summer has started having an impact on how people treat the mythology of the series.
The Homer Theory.homer simpson doh GIF Giphy
Came up with a Simpsons fan theory about Homer being in a coma. It went viral, featured on Buzzfeed, Yahoo, TMZ, etc.
You can google "Simpsons fan theory" today and it'll still pop up.
Band of Friends
Not entirely via Internet, but I met a couple members from my favorite band in a bar and they invited me to their table. I asked the lead singer if he would follow me on Instagram and he did instantly and we chat every once in a while.
Edit: I am a skinny 21 y/o dude from Argentina. I met them again a couple more times among other friends and we all went to have dinner. The singer remembers me and comes to say hi when he sees me in the crowd. I think they're just that friendly.
Hey Arnold.arnold schwarzenegger things GIF Giphy
I did a cartoon about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Someone posted it here on Reddit and Arnie saw it. He liked it and complimented me on it. This is also the reason I joined Reddit in the first place. I didn't really know what it was about until that happened.
Getting straight A's on difficult courses I would have otherwise failed if the pandemic didn't push for online education.
I was in Trig, and I'm proud because it's not even that I'm bad at math, just had a god awful professor. I'm on Calc 1 right now and it's going much smoother, now that the professor isn't total crap.
Fun AND $$$.
I paid to play a game, not sure I'm allowed to say it, on two occasions. It is totally free to play but unless you're a genius or have no job and never sleep, you pay for guns/ammo/mining tools/ships/mind implants etc. and any loot you get is worth real money on a fixed exchange rate with the US Dollar. Well I used to invest around £100 to £200 a month. I was single at the time and lived at home.
During that time I had 2 big loots, worth roughly $4k each (real money, 40k game money). I reinvested some but wanted to move out, so I sold everything bar my actual character and ended up with over £4,500 in total after conversion. A few months later and the money was in my bank and I used it as a 5% deposit on a mortgage for a flat that I now own. Fun AND monies.
This is kind of the opposite, but my friends and I used to play CS:GO religiously. They thought it would be funny to constantly report me for toxicity. To this day, the only way someone can talk to me through the game is to unmute me. Like the game has me automatically muted. Lol
The Star Dragongame of thrones fire GIF Giphy
If we count online gaming I got the world first mage solo of a Mists of Pandaria world of Warcraft raid boss. It was the star dragon it was killable almost as soon as the next expansion launched provided you took the correct equipment (the stamina buff scroll was very important).
I have a story on my profile here about how I was stalked by the same man that stalked my mother. I got some messages from podcast owners asking for my permission to read it, and I was so excited. I waited all week and kept checking Spotify for it, and when I saw they had a new episode my story wasn't in it. I was really disappointed, but happy I got an offer.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Said yes to everything a scammer asked me yesterday. I'll try my best to reenact the conversation:
Scammer: hi I am calling to help you resolve your debt on a credit card.
Me: yeah I do have debt
Scammer: and what is the pin number on this credit card so I get the right one
Scammer: sir, the pin?
Scammer: I am asking you nicely to please state the pin number of the credit card that has debt
Aggravated Scammer: Your mom is a b***h?
Aggravated Scammer: hangs up
Had my friends laughing, not my proudest thing but really wanted to tell someone so enjoy. :)
A Toast to the Band.
My best friend HATES Linkin Park. One morning in college, I woke up and messaged quite a few mutual friends to please message him something about Linkin Park (image, video, comment...). And then I forgot.
Apparently he woke up to easily 100+ notifications. Everyone had sent this to other mutual friends and then other strangers chimes in as well.
This guy had so many messages of "hey I heard you love LP so I thought I'd send you this".
One friend was a photography editor and edited his face into multiple photos as the lead singer. It was talked about for so long and I brought it up as best man at his wedding last year.
RIP forever Zoila.
I posted a pic of my corgi sitting in the car with a seatbelt on tumblr and it gots hundreds of thousands of notes. spread to other sites, lol buzzfeed used it too
edit: here is the pic!
Not Alone.Happy Cheering GIF by bluesbear Giphy
I found a comic I posted in a website referenced in a girl's blog about her struggle with diabetes. It was pretty heartwarming to see that, given it is the one and only comic I've ever written (I'm an economist).
A friend's last name is Klotz. Me and another friend started a campaign in the late 90s to turn his last name into a synonym for loser. We used it whenever we could. The friend helping to spread this was a corporate trainer so he used it in front of people from all over the country. At some point I check urban dictionary and it was on there.
I attained 2000+ subscribers on my Club Penguin focused YouTube channel as a kid, back in 2009, when 2000 subscribers was a pretty high amount.
The Best Block!donald trump GIF Giphy
I got blocked by Donald Trump on Twitter for calling him a "mad b**tard!"
The Jolly Parade.
I once played WoW during Christmas and started a Christmas parade that circled old Orgrimmar. At its peak, I was able to follow the back of the parade and most people were on reindeer mounts following each other at rp walking pace.
Technically my most famous internet thing is actually a hearthstone highlight on the hearthstone subreddit, but the Christmas parade always makes me laugh when I think about the hour or 2 i spent on christmas starting a thing I hadn't yet seen.
Way, way, wayyyy back when....amish GIF Giphy
Way, way, wayyyy back when the World Wide Web first came into existence, I was the author and owner of the world's first Amish Web Page.
It was a joke page, obviously, playing on the fact that the Amish would likely not be online or using a computer (at least not then).
It was sparse. It had a section on "tending thy livestock", and one on "raising thy barn", and another on "fixing thy computer", and finally a section titled "tourists and how to hide their bodies".
It disappeared sometime in the 1990s. I can't find it on Wayback. It's truly lost to the ages. But it was very definitely the very first of its kind on the WWW.
Alright. So. During Hurricane Harvey I posted a snapchat to the "our story" so that everyone could see it. It was hundreds of cockroaches escaping from the floodwaters in Houston. I deleted it from my own story bc I was like eh this is dumb and I hated the sound of my voice in the video. Well it stayed on the "our story" and got 1.2M views. My biggest internet accomplishment and I didn't even save the video as proof! And my 10 seconds of fame was due to... roaches.
Edit: Oh! Just remembered. A few years ago Aaron Carter followed me back on Twitter. Childhood crush. Not adulthood crush though.
I played Minecraft when I was younger and joined a server where I met someone I've now known online for around 8-9 years. We managed to trick some kid we were the "internet police" and had reason to believe he was hacking. We ended up getting his dad on the microphone and trying to explain that we believed his son was cheating. He replied "I'm sergeant something something with the New Jersey police department" and we immediately left the call scared AF, looking back, smart guy.
Tracing Figures.animation drawing GIF by Cheezburger Giphy
I draw actors, for fun, and if they come to a local convention, I'll get some of those drawings signed. Those drawings get framed and hung up on my wall. I also try tagging them on IG so they can see. While my favorite actor doesn't have IG, his wife does, and one day, she actually favorited both drawings. I didn't know it was her at first. So, even though I'll probably never meet him in reality, he at least saw my work.
Before El Camino
Before the release of El camino, Jesse Pinkman - Aaron Paul did a Video (4:16) for vanity where he breaks down fan theories of breaking bad... And one my fan theory got featured in it... I am happy about that.
I remember watching that video! I totally believe your theory, because if it's true that means Jesse didn't suffer so much.
Kylie for the Win!kylie minogue gif bubbles pop GIF Giphy
It was 2013, a mobile phone company called ZTE, hosted an online quiz to win a "Blade III" smart phone.
The question was something to do with Kylie Minogue.
Being the extremely gay 17 year old I was; I answered first, and correctly.
I won the smartphone, the only catch was, that I had to use it on Virgin Mobile. I'm so proud of myself, even to this day!
A Threat With Merit
Someone threatened a school shooting on WoW forums about 12 or 13 years ago, and I saw it right when it was posted. I managed to figure out where the guy was an alerted the proper authorities. All I did was talk to the guy and tried to relate to him. He flat out told me what town he was in and I just made a few phone calls.
I couldn't get any traction so I sent a message to a local newspaper, on the advice of someone else. The reporter reached out to me and then he ran with it, in terms of law enforcement. I don't know exactly what happened after that but I had an email thanking me for the heads up from the PD. The threat had merit and the guy got busted.
Overthrowing Clan LeadersGiphy
I joined a minecraft server back in ~2012 which had a clan system but there was only 1 clan and it had about 40 people in it because every other clan was immediately squashed by them.
Myself, my cousin, and one friend completely overthrew them and cemented ourselves as leaders of the server for probably the next year after that.
I came back like 2 years later and people would be like "holy sh*t, you're THE TrickDaddyRed? I've heard stories about your clan!"
The Thread Lives On
I started a joke thread on the official forum of a video game back in 2008. It was just something whimsical and satirical that I didn't think too much about at the time, but it absolutely exploded. Not only did it get about 50 pages of responses, but once it died it would get re-bumped every few months (at the end of every 'season' of the game).
I quit the game about 6 months later, but some years later I came across the link to the thread and I clicked on it. It turned out the post lived on and carried on getting bumped and generating a ton of responses all the way until the game eventually died in 2014. Which you would think would be the end of it. But I found out some years later that the game ended up having a sequel, and some of the players from the original game recreated the original thread on the new game's forum and it was still generating traffic. There are probably people commenting on it who weren't even born when the thread was originally posted.
I changed my school district's Wikipedia page. I created a section titled "Notable Alumni". I was a U.S. Senator for six months before they caught on. I even made a campaign website as a corroborating source.
I had a friend who was offered $1,000 for a domain. He called his attorney and his attorney said, "hold out for more."
He held out until $50,000. They paid $50,000... He used that $50,000 to start a business now worth millions.
My friend's sister misspelled her domain name when she registered it. Ended up being a sexual innuendo. Sold it to a adult film company for $15,000 and used that to help with start-up cash for a storefront.
I made a bootleg comic book site back in the 90's. I used geocities and used each registration to host one comic book, then used another one to link them all together. I scanned all the comics from my collection. I even had an html template with the page numbers embedded so I would upload the same site with images. That's not the accomplishment part.
I had a phpBB forum for conversation and requests with a few thousand members... 2 members met there and got married from it. I think they lived in different countries too. That was cool, the rest was a waste of time I guess.
Exceeding His KarmaGiphy
My husband has been on Reddit for years, he finally convinced me to get it, and I bet him within the first 2 weeks I would exceed his 1200 karma.. on the 13th day I made a comment that got over 27k upvotes that put me at 10k karma :)
He was in utter disbelief sitting beside me watching the comment grow and reach top comments haha.
I found Minecraft VERY early in development thanks to a browser addon called StumbleUpon! that put a "random" website button on your bar. I've been playing almost since the game went public in dev stage thanks to it. I'm not sure if that qualifies as an accomplishment or not.
You could fly by default and maps were just these tiny squares. Everything was one punch, there were no water physics to speak of, and I think there were 8 blocks XD
I got David Barton (crazy Christian nationalist that at least used to screw up Texas school books) to publish an article about how I was what was wrong with the youth in America.
I went to a fundamentalist college and was a Christian at the time when everyone at my school was excited by his website, I think it was called Wallbuilders. He wrote this article insulting people who didn't think the US was founded intentionally to only ever be for Christians.
I responded with a seven page sourced paper on how most of us now wouldn't consider the founding fathers "real" Christians and that while some likely wanted a Christian nation others were vocally against it so making the argument on intention would necessitate cherry picking who you cite. I also referenced how his extra sources he cites are dubious as he won't let anyone verify their authenticity.
My core argument was just that we don't know what they overall wanted and since they didn't explicitly make the US a theocracy it seems weird to take 2-3 founding fathers and apply their beliefs to all of them.
For this he made a post talking about how 19 year old user threedm was literally what's wrong with the youth in America and also was an idiot and also secular humanist scum.
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No one wants war.
Who is going to light the powder keg and set it all off?
Which country will start WW3? Why?
Does anyone really want to start another world war?
They may not have a choice in the matter.
Getting It Out Of The Way Early
"Austrian here, we will do it again probably, I would like to say sorry in advance! Most plausible reason at the moment is because Germans eat schnitzel with sauce on top, then this conflict will spiral out again into WW3."
"Third time's the charm!"
-Some Austrian, probably
Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo
"It'll be a civil war that devolves into a world war, with no one country clearly responsible for this change."
"But we'll blame it all on germany again, right"
Why I Oughtta...
"At this point, there are enough nukes in the world to ensure that a World War would simply result in nuclear annihilation on all sides. Say what you want about authoritarians like Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un, and Ali Khameni, they are many things; but they're not suicidal. They know that an all out war would just end everyone, including them, so they're not going to. This is why the US and the USSR never went to all out war, despite coming close a few times; the risks were just too great for both sides."
"What could easily happen, however, is another cold war, this time between the US and China. And like in the Cold War, there could be proxy wars fought as a result of it, but it's unlikely that any country will take the insane risks of starting World War 3."
A full-blown world war is a tricky thing to get off the ground, that is if anyone wants it. The leading cause to impending war could come out of nowhere, or somewhere completely unexpected, or perhaps it will never come.
2-Day War Delivery
"Bruh its gunna be Amazon, not a country"
"Jeff Bezos finna be dropping Amazon basics nukes on us"
Can It Even Happen?
"I don't think the world can handle another world war. simply for the sake that we're all so interconnected. every major nation trades with each other and are in bed with each other. I would be a detriment to whatever country starts a war."
"Think about how the global supply chain has been impacted by the pandemic, the world would probably cease to function all together in a major conflict."
"There was a quote I liked, I think it was from Dan Carlin. He said that leading up to WWI Europe had become too economically entwined to go to war with itself, but none of the economists were invited to the war councils. The generals making the decisions didn't understand the situation so they made dumb decisions. The situation is undoubtably more-so interconnected today, the question is, do we have economists making the call on starting wars?"
A Little Humor Before We Get To The Serious Stuff...
"Probably America, I mean they made Wonder Woman 1 & 2, so highly likely they'd make WW3. At least start it. Not sure why someone else would finish it."
"No, they don't know how to count.. They jumped from WW1 to WW84."
Is it in the realm of possibility? Possibly.
After all, people will be people.
Anyone Else Surprised? No?
"America have a surplus of military might, a recent history of starting wars for profit, EVERYTHING is politicised and extreme nationalism and xenophobia are normalised within the populace. I'm going with them."
These All Feel Tangible
"My guesses would be 1) USA vs China over Taiwan or 2) China vs India (a lot on tension there that doesn't get a lot of news attention)"
"India-Pakistan and China-India are hot beds."
"India and Pakistan have been at war numerous times since their inception. 5 'official' wars and 9 minor skirmishes, to be exact. The last conflict ended with a ceasefire in 2003, but the last incident was a series of skirmishes along the Line of Control in Kashmir, from November 2020 to February 2021."
"Neither is capable of a full-fledged invasion of the other, so it's limited to border disputes. And while Pakistan does have nukes, it would be suicide to use them. There's no incentive for any other countries to get involved."
Going For It
"China making a move on Taiwan or some other land grab in India or other bordering countries."
An Infectious Idea
"India and Pakistan. It will spread to China, then North Korea (or North Korea first) and pull in many others in Asia. This will pull in NATO, either directly or via global partners (Australia)."
This One Makes WAY Too Much Sense
"Twitter. Someone will probably make a typo that everyone takes the wrong way..."
Well, what do you think could happen? Let us know in the comments.
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So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.
Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.
Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.
I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.
The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
The video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" ExerciseGiphy
"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic PrincessGiphy
"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.
And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?
We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!
Redditor OnlyVillager asked:
"If you won the lottery, what's something 'useless' that you would buy?"
Here were some of those answers.
I Be The Witch Of The Wood
"My teenage daughter disclosed to me the other day that her biggest life goal is to buy a house on an acreage that has a large wooded area."
"She plans to build me a house in the woods, fund whatever ridiculous bullsh*t art installations I want to erect in the woods, then spread rumors in neighboring towns that a witch lives back there."
"She's the best."-OpossumJesusHasRisen
My Kingdom For A Castle
"I'm blowing it all on a castle. No, not one of those fairy tale mansions from the 19th century robber barons called 'castles'.
"A fully loaded, honest-to-god, obsolete, medieval fortress. Two curtain walls, a keep, towers, barbican, portcullis, murderholes, loopholes, machicolations, the works. It'll be a well warmed summer retreat/place to hide out if another plague hits the world."
"I'm buying Au Train island in the Upper Peninsula to be specific. When the feds finally come after billionaires to pay their fair share, I'm running to my island and sealing the gates behind me."
"So I can get my affairs in order and pay my taxes. What were you thinking I was gonna do? Hide from the IRS? They can breach any castle lmao."-DaemonTheRoguePrince
I Wanna Be A Billionaire
- "I want a cold water dispenser on my desk. It has to be connected to the water line, filtered and cooled. Ideally it also has that thing that automatically knows when the container is almost full."
- "My new lifestyle would be to live 4 weeks in a different city, then 1 week at home. In each city, I would stay in a Luxury Airbnb or a five star hotel."
- "I would hire a professional soccer coach. I'm talking someone that trains pro players. I'm Arab and I'm tired of not being good at soccer, just a few months of lessons and I'll be able to participate in pick up games and have fun."
- "I would also hire singing, guitar and piano instructors. Singing would be the toughest because my voice sucks, but I figure with time I can be good enough to sing a song if I want to reference it. That's how bad I am today."-Reformedjerk
Imagine just not having to think when you click the "purchase" button.
A Nice Siesta
"Maybe not exactly "useless" in the way people are thinking (the way the question is asked makes me think by "useless" they mean "stupid/wasteful" but I'm thinking in terms of things that are fun and only for the purpose of having fun), but do vacations count?"
"If I had that much money all to myself, I would 100% rather have a regular sized house/car and spend the money on experiences instead."
"The idea of having a normal life but knowing that I can just decide to take the day off and go to DisneyLand or treat myself to a fancy dinner whenever the hell I want to is a fantasy I've had since I was literally a little kid."
"I get that those aren't useful things because they're not things I could USE like a car/house/purse/etc, but I'd definitely be happy:)"-StreetIndependence62
"Well this stuff is only useless if there isn't some sort of apocalyptic event that happens in my lifetime."
"That said, I'd go full prepper and bury myself a bunker in the desert with tons of food and water stored away and decked out with solar panels, a garage full of electric cars, and a stash of every sort of modern electronic equipment available in vast quantities."
"So this would be a huge waste of money if there's never an apocalypse. But it would be very valuable to me if there happens to be one."-TimHawks1983
"I have always wanted a talking toilet. I don't even know why at this point. I just saw it on a tv show, don't even remember what, and since that day I have thought 'yes, I want this.'"
"But right now, with my paupers wage, I cannot afford such a thing. I have a lot of serious plans for lottery level money. I would open a shelter for homeless people and start my own dog shelter. As well as my own theme park."
"But I would still get a talking toilet."-MagnificentColossus
Put Your Bird On My Shoulder
"I would get into falconry, vintage guitars from the 50s and 60s, a live in Cook, most of the surfaces that I touch would be marble, and I would save a significant portion of my money to split between investments and gambling on riskier stocks."
"Depending on how much money a private jet would be in the cards as well as a flight license. This is one of my favorite things to daydream about"-freemason777
The best part of all of this is, it doesn't matter that these things are useless.
They bring us joy, and that is what matters.
"Boring" "Flame Thrower"???
"Definitely a boring company flame thrower. And a Barrett M82."
"Probably a supercar too, but not to drive it. I want to light it on fire in a public space as an appeal to consumerism right before I go take a private jet to Nappa Valley to eat at the French Laundry and get hammered on the most expensive bottles of wine I can find."-xdylanxfrommyspace
"There are many things I bought that I regretted it immediately. I love to try new stuff. Especially no-brand or brand that is not famous. My curiosity is very high, that is the problem."
"I wanted to know whether those products are okay for human being. For example, I bought BioAqua face products. The most product I regret is BioAqua aloe vera. After my third use of the product, I actually experience worst allergic in the world."
"My skin had a lot of red patches appeared in just few hours. It was itchy but not painful. Just I keep scratching my skin but I tried my best to control it."
"It took about three - five days to keep it clear with medication and creams. Then after a couple of weeks, I decided to use it again. I got the reaction."
"Thankfully, I still have the medication and the cream. So, I took it immediately. I also did not apply the cream that much compared to previous time."
"I still have the aloe vera bottle in my room. I wanted to throw it but I could not throw it. Yet, I cannot use it and yes, I feel sad when I saw it. So, you can understand how I feel."-nimbledealing53
Hobby Hobby Hobby!
"If I won the lottery - I would open a shop for my favorite hobby. I would manage it like a business, giving a decent wage to several workers allowing them to pursue a degree or whatever and have a job that doesn't suck."
"I'd lose money on running a store. But I'd enjoy it. I'd enjoy sharing my hobby, selling the stuff I love at reasonable prices and giving a few young people a good job in a stress free environment."
"Useless store, great life experience for the people I'd employ."-Dealthagar
Money doesn't solve all of the world's problems or all of a person's problems, even—but it certainly does make life a little easier here and there for those who need it.
Hopefully the 21st century sees all of us buying things with our millions of dollars.
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One of the most freeing realizations I've had was when I understood that not everyone was going to like me.
That's just the way it is for all of us, and I learned that it would be unfair for me to dedicate so much time worrying about what others might think.
It changed my life—improved it, I'd say.
That, combined with my willingness to take responsibility for my own actions, was crucial to my self-development.
Whether it's an epiphany or experience, there are many things that can happen and can successfully shift your perspective.
People shared their stories after Redditor drewyourstory asked the online community:
"What life event or experience changed your perspective?"
"From this, I learned..."
"Nearly died of a post-surgical hypoxic brain injury, followed by a variety of problems subsequently."
"From this, I learned that mortality is a fragile thing in a random, amoral universe."
It truly is. We really have no say in it either.
We really do not have control.
"Once you get your own place..."
"Once you finally get your own place, you appreciate and feel gratitude for things that you used to take for granted."
"It's helped me maintain..."
"My husband died after a sudden short illness. My life is divided by that point in time."
"There is before and after, I'm a different person now nearly 12 years later but I'm okay with that. It's helped me maintain a good perspective dealing with my current partner's stroke."
"He's doing ok but will never have the mobility he once had. Just taking one day at a time."
Sorry for your loss.
Silver linings exist... even in tragedy.
"I can put up with..."
"My spouse developed a chronic pain illness. She spent months in debilitating pain and there wasn't a goddamn thing I could do to help."
"When we finally got a diagnosis, she was able to start on some medications that improved her quality of life to near where it had been."
"Suddenly little problems just didn't seem important anymore. I can put up with a whole hell of a lot more than I ever thought possible because at least my partner's not in burning pain constantly anymore."
Thankfully, your partner is healthier, and the experience undoubtedly made you a stronger person!
"I had both hips replaced..."
"I had both hips replaced at 25 and will owe money for the rest of my life."
"My debt to income ratio keeps me from normal things like owning a house. I don't sweat missing a bill now and then anymore."
Society really should not allow this to happen.
"I think every single human..."
"I think every single human has experienced the feeling of post-traumatic guilt caused by something they've done in the past."
"For example, in elementary school, I had a best friend whose family was struggling financially. One day, he brings coins (pennies and nickels only) for his school lunch that day."
"I, for some stupid reason, smacked the change out of his hand as he took the change out to count how much he had."
"I got yelled at by the principal, who was walking behind me, and got suspended. Ever since that day, I have never ever made fun of someone's financial stability, given people money (especially the homeless), and never smacked anything out of anyone's hands."
"That moment changed my perspective on how the treatment towards others comes back to bite you."
"Holding my eight year old brother as he died from extreme medical incompetence then being stuck with his body for twenty minutes as a ventilator made his corpse breathe and a fault in the heart monitor didn't trigger the alarm to bring help and the nurses ignored the call light because they were 'busy with another patient'."
"I cared about people before then. I can switch that off and on at will now."
"Being from Canada..."
"Being from Canada, we're pretty sheltered here, so traveling to other parts of the world and seeing how poor some communities are really made me realize how lucky we are and how good we have it."
Many people in the Western world would learn a hell of a lot if they were humbled by the way others around the world live.
"I love him..."
"Having a child with autism. He is the most loving, kind, intelligent young man."
"I love him more than anything in the world, but I have to consider everyday events that others take for granted. There are things that will be overly stressful for him, and without any glaring differences, people are often not understanding."
"Family gatherings, grocery store visits, haircuts, the dentist, everything is planned."
"The world can be a noisy, chaotic, inconsistent place which are all things he really hates, but he meets every challenge head-on and I couldn't be prouder to call him my son."
"Have you ever just stood..."
"Have you ever just stood and looked at a dead person? The first dead person I ever saw was my father... I've seen probably more than my share after that too."
"Looking at someone with their lights permanently turned off changes something in you."
No one is immune from life's tragedies or trials and tribulations.
How do you handle them, though? That's the real test.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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