Since we grow up in a world where it is assumed that we will be straight, we don't receive a lot of education on the LGBTQ+ community. Most places receive zero education, as decades of homophobia and gay erasure rear their ugly heads even in modern society.

So curiosity from straight people is natural. It's welcome. It only helps break down the walls between our communities.


u/l_a_z_y_b_u_g asked:

Straight people of reddit, what questions do you have for the LGBTQ community?

Here were some of those answers.


The Clever One First

What's on the gay agenda for today?

GaryNOVA

For the lesbians, today is gardening and obsessing over hot female actresses.

I mean we do that every day but whatever.

Erin_Howard-Boleyn

After polling my friends the answer seems to be animal crossing

magic_luver101

Take Note, Straights!

What are the creepy or offensive things things that well-meaning non-lgbt people say?

DiligentShopping

The question "so which one is the girl and which one is the guy" is pretty offensive. We are not trying to fit ourselves in a straight mold. Were both girls/ were both guys. It's like the whole point.

Asking whose on top can be pretty intrusive if you don't know them well.

Asking a trans person their birth name or what's in their pants is super rude.

l_a_z_y_b_u_g

Hetlag

Are there "straight jokes"? Straight people use jokes about being gay all the time, especially guys.

PlasticStain

I don't think it's the case for everybody but one of my group of friends is like 80% LGBT+ people and YES. So many jokes and puns about straight/cis people. But none of them are insults and I never heard a violent joke about straight people.

We DEFINILTY have jokes about the straights™ though. Like about heterophobia or straight pride.

thelastmoth

This Is A Good Perspective, Listen Up

I'm not straight but I've always wanted to ask a trans person what they mean when they say they "feel like a man/woman". I guess it's probably not entirely tangible but I've always found it intriguing.

CentrifugalFarts69

Imagine waking up every day of your life feeling like something's wrong. You're perfectly healthy, your life is great, but there's something wrong. You just don't know what.

The feeling gets worse when you look at yourself in a mirror, or see your body. It gets even worse when puberty starts and you watch your body change and you hate it, but you don't know why. There's just something wrong.

The feeling sometimes gets better when you look at people of the opposite sex (for me, girls). Sometimes, it gets worse and you get frustrated for no reason. Maybe you have a crush on one of those girls. Maybe you just want some attention from them. But then, if you had a crush on one of them, there would be some happiness. There just isn't. Never. Your life is great but you're miserable and you can't figure out why.


Then one day a random thought occurs. I wish I were a girl. Then you understand what was wrong with you all your life.

The way I experienced it, it's a mix of discomfort, longing, and envy. I wasn't comfortable with my body (mind you, I had an awful life, which is why I didn't explore these issues until I gained some control over it in my early 20s) because I was male. I was hoping something would change without really knowing what. I envied girls simply for being girls.

This might be controversial, but I wouldn't say I "feel" like a woman. I'm a woman. Just not physically, alas. Even now after successfully transitioning, I'm aware that I'm still biologically male. It still bothers me. But I can live my life as a woman and that's a massive weight off of my shoulders. I can look at my body or into a mirror. I wake up in the morning without that residual feeling that something is wrong. I am no longer miserable.

Identity is a difficult question and everyone has their own perception of it. I don't think you'll ever get a definite answer on your question. The best you can get is a variety of testimonials and personal experiences, few of which you will resonate with.

BetelgeuseFox

Moms Trying To Be Better

What do (or did) you need from your mom?

(Mom of a trans teenager. I do my best to support him, and want to learn to do better)

insertcaffeine

The most important thing is to affirm his identity. Use his new name and pronouns. Making mistakes is okay, but work on it.

Otherwise, help him protect himself. There is a ton of hate directed at transgender teens, and someone of his age isn't going to have the emotional maturity to deal with it all. Whenever someone wants to deny who he is, have his back.

If he hasn't started puberty blockers yet, it's 100% worth it. Puberty blockers now means no mastectomy later. And if he changes his mind later (he probably won't) they're mostly reversible.

karry9001

It's Common Because Women Are Nice

How come it's common for a gay man to befriend straight women but it's uncommon for a lesbian to befriend straight men?

sirjunkinthetrunk

I'm gay and my sister a lesbian. My female friends have never requested to watch my husband and I have sex. Straight men are always asking my sister if they can watch my sister and her wife have sex. there's your answer.

Horrorwriterme

Your First Gay Movie

I've been fortunate enough to have quite a few close friends who were gay in my lifetime, so I've got no "how do things work" kind of questions that haven't been answered.

However, one of my favorites that I always ask when we're in the process of becoming friends... If you're around my age (mid-30's), and a gay guy, did you first realize you might be gay when watching the volley ball scene in Top Gun? And if not, why are you lying to me about when you first realized you were gay?

PlasticStain

I remember a reading an interview with John Cryer about Duckie in Pretty in Pink. And he was saying how people would come up to him and thank him because that's how they realized they were in the closet.

And he said he was kind of shocked because he didn't realize Duckie was closeted, but when he mentioned it to the other cast they all knew.

So, of course, that's when I first realized that Duckie was gay in that movie.

RodamusLong

Beep Boop

How does "gaydar" work? How reliable is it?

NeedsMoreTuba

Gaydar is just that... Recognizing that someone is likely to be LGBTQ. It can be based on any number of things - mannerisms, hair and clothes, subtle references and symbols that might not obvious to people who aren't "in the know," etc.

As to efficacy? Moderate? But there are also some false positives - people who are assumed to be LGBT but aren't.

justanothersocalgirl

The Gays.  They're Everywhere.

What did you wish you knew as a teenager that you know now?

Orual309

There are so many more gay people in this world than statistics shows, because may people are either still in the closet or don't come out as gay on any form of census.

Gods-truth

Rage Against

As a father of a LGBTQ daughter how do I not rage at people who oppose the fact my daughter exist.

daynedaman

Lesbian here. You can have a little rage. As a treat.

Seriously though this comment made me smile. You seem like a wonderful dad. You don't have to hold in your anger at people who are pissed at your daughter for simply existing. Take the protective father stereotype and use it for good! :)

lennsden

Is there anyone who loved high school?

High school is a disaster. That is true for like... 95% of us.

it's like being branded. "I survived high school because of this!!"

The past is never really past, is it? What did you see?

Redditor HelloProxima wanted to go back and visit the teenage years, by asking:

"What is the most f**ked up thing that happened in your high school?"
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You're hungry one night, so you order food. You select your items, go to place your order, and see that the order has an extra $15 in fees tacked on to it, and that's not even including tip!

Believe it or not, there was a time before delivery services. You can very easily just call the restaurant you want and place the order directly. It's pretty easy–and you and the restaurant get to avoid the middle man.

But delivery services have become so ubiquitous over the years that many of us just put up with it. They're legitimate services but honestly, when you see the final price tag, how could you not feel like you've been totally scammed?

People shared their thoughts after Redditor AnnFaulskabek asked the online community,

"What is a legitimate product / service that still feels like a scam?"
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When you really think about it, childhood is actually just rife with trauma.

The things we see as children, are things we are never going to escape. And nobody fully prepares you for it.

Every child born should be assigned a therapist along with a pediatrician.

Life is going to bombard us with memories we'll never unsee, because the actions of humans are random and as a child we're forced to watch.

The mark is left. So let's hear about some trauma.

Redditor Banjoman653 wanted to hear from everybody willing to share some childhood tales, by asking:

"What’s a really f**ked up thing you’ve witnessed as a kid but didn’t realise it was until you were older?"
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Sebastian Coman Photography/Unsplash

Thanksgiving: It's a holiday that often brings up a lot of drama. As every holiday season rolls around, we muster up the energy and the courage to go back to our family's and in-law's homes to try and enjoy a meal together.

If you've every had a strained relationship with a family member, this is usually the time where the tension spills over like the gravy from the tureen.

On TikTok, people are joking about how they chose to purposefully ruin thanksgiving for their family. Some are deciding they don't want to celebrate it all together.

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