Not all secrets are taken to the grave. In fact most secrets always find a way to be heard. Usually guilt is the key to unearthing confessions, it's often too much to bare.
I think it's because nobody wants to die guilty, just in case there is whole afterlife situation. It's best to start the next journey with a clean slate. That's why we hear so many tales about sudden deathbed confessions. Nurses, doctors, cops, witnesses have a plethora of memories and secrets they've been told. And I am here for all the tea.
People are scandalous! Shall we listen?
Redditor u/alyssaoftheeast wanted to hear all the dish health care workers have to serve, by asking:
Nurses of Reddit, what are some of the most memorable death bed confessions you've had a patient give?
I have no guilt. So I'll be taking it all to the grave. Unless of course my mind is rattled and I have no control over my senses. But if stay in control, my lips are sealed. Let's hear about the souls who felt the need to purge.
Be SureAnimated GIFGiphy
"I had a client (90 year old male) confess to his wife and children that while he was away on business, he obtained another family."
"He lived another two years. Wife and children kinda cast him off. He thought he was dying immediately of cancer, they were multimillionaires, he tried to spend as much as he could out of spite so his children wouldn't inherit any of it."
"Took care of a WW2 veteran with dementia. He would say the number "22" over and over and the family never knew the significance of it. The number didn't line up with any significant events or dates that they were aware of. The day before he died his mental state became incredibly clear and he started telling the staff "22 men. I killed 22 men over there." Poor guy. He lived with that anguish for 50+ years."
He knew this...
"Kind of similar I suppose. I'm a scrub nurse. My job is to assist the surgeon during surgeries. I was preparing an elderly patient for a pretty high risk surgery. There was a good chance he was going to be fine but there was also a decent chance things were going to go south. He knew this."
"While the CRNA is doing her thing getting the anesthesia ready I'm standing next to him going over his chart and signed releases and he says to me, "I need you to tell my wife I'm sorry for all the times I raised my voice at her. There weren't many times. But right now I wish there weren't any." That was the first time I ever got choked up at the bed side. Thank goodness for masks because it helped hide my expression."
"I so badly wanted to tell him everything was going to be okay but no one knew if it was going to be. I said back to him, "I'll do anything you need me to, but right now let's think about some happy memories before you go under." I asked him to tell me about he and his wife's first date. Once he was under I excused myself before scrubbing in to stop myself from crying. He made it through surgery and his wife was waiting for him after being transferred from the PACU."
"Kind of a confession. My grandmother was from Spain. At some point in my life I was like "Why don't I know how to speak Spanish?" So I asked my mom, as I've never heard her speak Spanish either. She said, "My mom came to America and was one of the 'we are in America now, so we speak English now' people."
"When we started pestering her to teach us Spanish, she claimed that she forgot how to speak it. We all kind of thought she was full of crap, but she was adamant about it. She was sharp as a tack until her mid 90s and lived alone. Finally, it was too much and we moved her to our house, and then to assisted living because she wanted to be closer to her friends."
"When she ended up in a nursing home because she was on her last legs, and her mind started to go, we caught her speaking Spanish to the mostly Hispanic staff. Basically, she had to go senile to forget that she told us that she couldn't speak Spanish. It was an unintentional confession that she always knew how to speak Spanish, but she just didn't want to because it wasn't the American thing to do."
Bye Now...sad miss you GIF by PBS KIDSGiphy
"Just the people who die alone. The next of kin is usually a distant niece or nephew. I hated those calls because I would inform them of the passing and they would just say, "Ok, thank you." And hang up."
Oof. See there? Now is why I say "lips are sealed." What if there is an eleventh hour miracle after I've confessed to some ludicrous sin? How embarrassing. No thank you. Who else spilled some tea?
I hear Toni...excited toni braxton GIF by Soul TrainGiphy
"My Grandfather lived into his 90s. According to my Grandma, his last lucid words the day before he passed was when he called out, "Unpoop my pants!" Not very profound, but very memorable, because that song was popular at the time, so now I always imagine that line sung in Toni Braxton's voice."
"Nurse here. An old lady gave me some questionable advice. She was this 90-something Italian Nonna, all dressed in black skirts and dripping with rosary beads and crucifixes, very Catholic. She told me "to be happy in life, you need 3 men. 1 for the money, 1 for the love, 1 for the boom-boom-boom" (sex). Can't say I agree with her, but it's certainly memorable."
"I recently cared for a woman who had multiple acute strokes in a short amount of time. A week before she had been independent, riding her horse every day, still teaching part time at the local school, despite being in her 80s. By the time she got to me she was completely nonverbal, incontinent, and unable to feed herself."
"I had a feeling that she was neurologically intact enough to understand what was going on, so I talked to her as much as I could when I was in the room. Talked to her about her daughters who had called every day, her husband (who hadn't called, but I left that part out), the weather, her horses, her students who had sent a card. On the last day of my workweek, her daughter from out of state had finally found a flight up. They sat in silence and held hands for hours."
"Visiting hours ended right at shift change, so I walked in to give report as the daughter was saying goodbye. The patient then spoke what I knew were going to be her last words- 'I'll always be looking after you." And pointed to her daughter, and then at me, and then she fell asleep. Two days later when I came back to work, I was informed she had passed away in the night."
"One of the most challenging moments I had with a patient that was passing was a woman in her 80's with advanced dementia and trying to recover from a severe bed sore that had gone septic (from a nursing home with a bad reputation). She often confused me with her second husband, her daughter told me I looked a lot like him. The patient would often talk about "our" sexual exploits including swinging and partner swapping as well as very wild "adventures."
"I had given up on trying to tell her I was not her husband because I just confused her and upset her so I learned to just play along. She talked to me often about "our" children and other family and many non-sexual adventures they had. It made her happy to talk about it and often left me with a smile."
"quite a few"alfred hitchcock noir GIF by Warner ArchiveGiphy
"My husband isn't a nurse, but he is a police officer. He has heard "quite a few" dying declarations at crime scenes. People confessing to crimes, witnesses to crimes or telling cops all the info about something. It is admissible and he had to write everything down. Crazy stuff."
"I was speaking with a nurse and she said that a lot of patients pass away alone because they don't feel right passing over with other people present. That is why you have a lot of people waiting bedside, then go home and 10 minutes later... the person passes away. Apparently happens all the time."
A Sliver Lining
"My dad loves small town auctions and over the years he collected all those boxes of stuff that would go for the lowest bid. He amassed quite a collection, filling the garage and a workshop out back. He always promised Mom he'd sell it all some day in some big garage sale or auction of his own."
"Then one day my mom's cancer returned and the doctors told us this time it wasn't a fair fight. Two weeks before she passed I was sitting with her in the hospital. We'd run out of things to say. She looked up at the ceiling, trying to ignore the pain, and said, "Thank God at least I won't have to deal with your dad's stuff." Me and mom burst out laughing. Don't tell my Dad."
See ya soon...
"The last conversation my grandma and i had before she died was when she was dozing off and i was watching Ghost Adventures. She asked if i really believed in that kind of stuff. I told her yes and when she died she can come back and haunt me to prove me right. She just said, "oh ok" and went back to napping. She died the next week."
"speeding up her pass"Love You Goodbye GIF by truTV’s At Home with Amy SedarisGiphy
"My aunt was a nurse and had some pretty strange stories about it. I think the worst of all was about another nurse that was brought after a car crash. She was terrified about someone "speeding up her pass" because of her injuries. She told my aunt that was a common practice and admitting doing it herself several times."'
"There was a gentleman on his deathbed at 56 years old. He was pissed off yelling that he started at an early age going to preschool-- to get into the right grade school --to get into the right high school-- to get in to the right Ivy league University and high paying job. That was the year he was to set up his family for life being able to fund their college and pay off the mortgage. This went on for about 4 hours before he passed. Truly tragic."
"My mom and I look very similar, the only difference is our hair color (she's got black hair and I'm blond). But when she was my age, she bleached her hair, so functionally I just look like my mother in her 20s. My grandfather went downhill in his last year and his Alzheimer's got worse, to the point where he didn't know a lot of people. But he could recognize me, not as his grandchild, but as his 20-something year old daughter. I played along, and got a lot of stories out of him. They're fun memories, but they hurt all the same."
"I'm an intern and I work with the elderly at a day centre. A 90something year old man (who was very loved by everyone) was committing euthanasia (which is legal in the Netherlands) that afternoon. He still wanted to come to us. All the nurses and social workers were pretty emotional for his last day. It can be weird to talk to someone in the morning, knowing they will end their lives that afternoon."
"I got to go on a walk with him. I was pushing his wheel chair and we just talked about life. That one hour he taught me so so so much about life. He told all about his trauma from WW2, about how it affected him and about how he overcame it. He never told anyone, not even his wife, about everything that happened. He gave me so many life lessons that day, and I will be always be thankful for that."
"Zoot Suit Riots"
"Worked in a nursing home for about a decade doing hospice, rehab, and all kinds of long-term care stuff. Anyway, I had a fellow who had worked at the Army Film Unit in LA during the war. As he was dying, when it looked like he wasn't going to make it through the night- I sat with him and just talked. He was remarkably lucid the entire time. He told me that he'd been present at the "Zoot Suit Riots" and had stabbed a man to death and was never prosecuted."
"I never could find any evidence of anyone having been killed during those 5 days in LA when the riots took place. Maybe he killed someone not related to the fray at all. Anyway... he also told me about getting a BJ from Rosemary Clooney in a bar on Sunset so, who knows."
Accept PeopleEpisode 9 Hug GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"Doctor here - working in the deep south I've heard a lot of patients regret disowning their gay/lesbian children and the relationship they could've had."
"Unfortunately rigid religious/political dogma tears apart more families than most people realize. Life is short. Accept people, especially the ones you love, for who they are and not who you would like them to be. That's always been the takeaway lesson I got from hearing these stories."
"My first year as a nurse I worked in palliative care. Had a 28yo dying of cancer. She moved here from Canada to be with her boyfriend who left her a year after moving. We weren't expecting her to deteriorate so fast. I held her hand as she died alone without her family or friends."
"But right before she died, she told me she wished she never left Canada and cried. Her family were overseas and couldn't make it in time. It's memorable to me because it reminds me to tell my family I love them regularly and to spend time with friends and to stop making excuses."
I hope the nurses and death crews out there are keeping journals. Some of this is tragic, but most of it is comedy gold. Oh my.
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Secrets can be good with intentions of keeping others from experiencing the pain of knowing. Sometimes they can be more devious or damaging nature. This writer certainly doesn't like being kept in the dark.
A big part of secret-keeping though is knowing that often, it's something just plain embarrassing or super private. Like the time that boy from school wet the bed during a sleepover and blamed the poor dog instead…Chad will probably take that to his grave…well he would have if we hadn't said anything.
What's a juicy secret we have but could never tell anyone? Well, our lips are sealed. However, the people of Reddit were asked and responded with just about the juiciest thread ever. Grab your popcorn and join us while they lay it all out.
Redditor ive_never_been_loved wanted to hear all the juicy dirt from the Reddit community.
"What is a secret that you will never tell anyone?"
There were some scandals avoided with these secrets.
“2 days in a row when I was in the second grade I pissed my pants, because the teacher had this policy where she wouldn't let any student go to the bathroom even during free time in class. The third time I spent a solid 10 minutes begging her before she finally said fine, I pissed my pants on the way to the bathroom."
“My family only knows of the one time but I had to deal with that humiliation two times before and it was within the first week at school. After that I had a water bottle that I pissed in during her class for the remainder of the year."
“I don't know what she was expecting if somebody who just moved in with zero friends would be doing in the bathroom. But honestly if I would have the opportunity to go back in time I would rather tell my own self to piss on her desk because that would have been less humiliating than pissing my pants 3 days in a row." Sea_Ear_6224
“my dad had affair with his wife…”
“I cant remember how old I was. It was dial-up internet era. I'm now 29. But we received a phone call. I'm not sure if I was home alone or why I answered it. But a man called and explained to me that my dad had affair with his wife. I hung up and never told anyone except my therapist like a year ago. It has not bothered me much tbh, but it was a weird experience lol" Juof
“that day is now the benchmark…”
“I used to work in a shopping centre. One time as I was walking in to the building I sneezed and totally pooped myself, I was about 10 steps away from the shop so I had to think fast. I took a hard left turn and walked direct in to a department store. I only had $5 on me so I beelined for the underpants section and got the cheapest pair I could find."
“I then had to go to the centre toilets and sort everything out, it was a real mess. I text my boss and told them I was stuck in traffic but in reality I was 100 metres away trying to salvage any shred of dignity I could for the next 20 minutes. I'm happy to say the mission was a success and that day is now the benchmark by which all other days are measured. Every day since has been infinitely better." Jlandyj
A spite fueled good deed…
“My mom left me to be homeless while still in high school to move out of state with an abusive (to me) new husband. When I finally got back in touch with them three years later, they gifted me one of his prized possessions, a car. It was kind of an olive branch?”
“Problem was as a barely 20 year old with a minimum wage job living in DC, I couldn't afford to plate it, inspect it, insurance gas or taxes on it- nothing. Still full of hatred for this man and therefore somewhat out of spite.. I sold it to a coworker friend whose big family desperately needed it for probably 10% of what it was worth.”
“Told my step dad and mother that I got in an accident and it cost $400 to tow and my insurance only covered blah blah… it's been 11 years.” leaky_orifice
They didn’t know they were keeping it in the family…
“Throwaway because there's no chance of me ever saying this in person. As a kid I grew up in a small country community of 3000 people, where I went to school etc. I had a crush on a girl who was 2 years older than me all the way through high school, and when I was 16 I found out she was my half-sister as my dad had cheated on my mum."
“This only came out when she turned 18 and found out who her dad was, prior to that no one knew and my dad and her mum had kept it a secret for 18 years. Completely f**ked with me for quite a while that I'd had a crush on my half sister for a number of years." letsplaysquash
It’s kinda funny though.
“When I was 9, my dad and I were reading Reader's Digest and found a magazine subscription card for a free case of Depends adult diapers, so we wrote my uncle's name and address down and put it in the mailbox.”
“He got it a couple weeks later and called everyone in the family to find out who it was. We knew my uncle was fuming, so we kept it to ourselves. To this day, everyone suspects that it was my other uncle.” 1BoiledCabbage
Strangest Things Seen In A Contract's Terms And Conditions | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
“I still side eye when I see him…”
“My first job in highschool, I had been there for a couple years, some new kid came in and told a bunch of lies to the owner about stuff I had ‘done at work’. I wasn't questioned just let go immediately.”
“On the kids next shift my best friend and I went and placed large nails up against all of his tires so when he drove forward they would go right into his tires. I hear he had to replace all four. That was 20 years ago and I still side eye when I see him around town.” Que_sax23
Dad was having a romp around…
“My dad was single and a couple of my friends moms was always bringing us food. My dad would say they were just being nice cause he was a single guy raising 3 kids by himself. My aunt picked me up from school sick and we head home.”
“She must have known what was up and had me wait in the car. Both of my friends moms came out half dressed and sh*t with my aunt yelling at my dad. I never did tell out of fear. One mom was divorced but one wasn't and I was afraid of tearing their family apart. Will take it to my grave.” Unusual_Ear2764
“I didn't tell my co-workers, ex-wife, managers or anyone else."
“About 20 years ago I worked for a big publisher. They were upgrading all their tech and just dumping it in a skip. I asked a security guy if I could take some stuff from the skip and he said to help myself as it was all going to get crushed anyway.”
“During a night shift I filled up my car with of beige G3/Quadra Apple Macs, keyboards, mice and some 19" Formac screens. Some of the macs had Quark Express and Photoshop on them.”
“I cleaned them up and sold the lot. I made enough to buy a G4 Quicksilver of my own which I still have today. I didn't tell my co-workers, ex-wife, managers or anyone else.” Sean_696
Santa isn’t real?
“One Christmas I was 9 years old and knew that Santa wasn't real but for my 7 year old brother the fantasy was very much alive and good. We shared a room and my brother woke up on Christmas morning and looked confused that Santa had not eaten the Kit Kat that had been left out.”
“He went quiet and I could see that he was working the facts through in his head, when he wasn't looking I ate the Kit Kat and showed him the wrapper and claimed he imagined seeing the wrapper unopened.”
“This was 26 years ago and I have not told him in case he works out Santa is not real.” 10pencefredo
Didn’t we all do this at least once?
“The only person I won't ever share this with is my mother. Not that it's that bad. I surgically unwrapped a Christmas present, played with it, then rewrapped before my mom got home. It was an N64. Was glorious.” leg00b
“He ran to his bedroom to make himself throw up."
“My stepdad is muslim and one day when i was working at McDonald's (18 at the time), i would take home two free burgers. Both were double quarter pounders with bacon. We don't carry any pork products in the house so if i have the craving for pork, it would have to be from outside.”
“Anyways, i was going to eat my burgers in the living room and my stepdad got home and just immediately grabs one of my burgers and takes two massive bites (this is how he plays around). I wanted to warn him but grabbed the burger and bit into it too fast. He noticed a foreign taste aside from beef. He asked me what's in the burger, and i told him. He ran to his bedroom to make himself throw up.” Greywolf2117
Life lesson: “Bury your sh*t while camping."
“Went camping once with my family, somewhere way off the grid in Colorado. I've always had bowel issues (excessive diarrhea) and had become somewhat backed up from the long car ride. We had a shovel to use when we needed to go number 2, since it needed to be buried to not attract any animals, but I had wandered off and felt the sudden urge to go RIGHT NOW.”
“I dug a shallow pit with my hands, and proceeded to take the biggest, smelliest sh*t imaginable. I think I used nearby leaves to wipe, and covered the pit as best I could with pinecones. Next day, the dogs (2 Chow Chows) were off leash roaming around, and our older one, Sampson, came back absolutely COVERED in sh*t.”
“Must have rolled around in it for awhile. Took forever for my dad to get the smell washed off in the freezing cold lake. I was way too embarrassed at the time (plus slightly intimidated by my well-to-do grandparents) to say it was probably my crap he rolled in. Took years before I finally came clean to my family, but luckily it was a laughable moment from my childhood. Bury your sh*t while camping.” jesiweeks3348
A hard place to be in…
“That I'm actually not happy being in medical college, none of the medical specializations really interest me at all (I'm on the 3rd year) and I often can't sleep at night thinking that I'll be doing this for the rest of my life.”
“I press on however because I don't really see an alternative for myself as I always, even from the young age, kinda assumed I'll be a doctor. There's also the fact that I don't want all the work I've put in actually getting here go to waste.”
“Bonus points for not wanting to disappoint my parents (both of them doctors), especially since my older brother dropped out of college recently after 7 very rocky years with nothing to show for it.” PrXawier
It cost a woman her job…
“My mother likes shiny and sparkly things. When I was a kid, she had one of those glass balls filled with liquid with real gold flakes floating around. As a little girl who also likes shiny and sparkly things, I liked to shake it and see the gold swirling.”
“One day, I was playing with it, tossing it from one hand to the other, and it dropped onto the glass and metal TV stand and shattered. I panicked and cleaned it up. My mother thought one of the cleaning ladies that had come by stole it and fired her. I've never fessed up and she has since bought a new ball.” Realta_Sagartach
Not the father!
“My cousin thinks her father, who died last year, was her dad…But Only a few of us know her real father was a podiatrist with whom my aunt had an affair. She lied and passed off her pregnancy as her husband's kid, but nope. We've been told never to say anything, and because my cousin is literally the best person ever, I'm honor-bound now.” milky8888
“I noped out."
“Obviously not saying who. But I was friends with a couple. I was friends with the guy longer than the girl. We would go to the private practice rooms in the **** **** and we would play violin and piano. Although they kissed and whatever in the corner. I was there for the piano and we were friends so they tagged along.”
“They would start getting it on while I played the piano. I didn't realize but sometimes I did and kept playing the piano like I noticed nothing. Although we did talk and mess around.”
“Turns out they were both sexually attracted to me. After they broke up they later told me how they felt. And the girl told me her fantasies involving me and along the way she got into some psychic stuff. I noped out.” Careless-Piano-2421
“Really late to the party. This will probably get buried, but for those of you sorting by new, this is mine. When I was in high school, my family went on a trip somewhere without me for the weekend. I was left home alone, with the complete trust that I would be responsible and not do anything improper."
“I was a good kid, but I was also in high school. Obviously I invited friends over to drink beer and smoke sisha. In his drunken stupor, while lighting a coal, my friend dropped it. On the hardwood floor. It left a quarter-sized burnt hole in the kitchen."
“If my parents would have found out, they would have been PISSED. No question that there would have been serious ramifications. Nobody brought it up the first week after they came back. I was super stressed. Nobody brought it up the second week after they came back I decided this is not enough, I need to proactively cover my tracks."
“One day while my mom was making dinner, I came over. I pointed at the hole, let out a surprised gasp, and asked her why there was a burn mark on our floor. She said that she thinks she must had dropped something hot on the floor while cooking. I was golden, the hole never came up again" Nacho_buddy
“My secret is that the year after, when I was 15 I was dating a guy that I actually didnt like cause i was new in town and felt alone. One day another dude who was interested in me cornered me. I knew he would try to kiss me, but I was bored with my life and wanted some drama so I played dumb. After he kissed me I pushed him away and ran to tell my boyfriend. I was truly a mess back then.“ winixon
These users must be glad to get these off their chest behind the safety of a screen name. We just got all the family secrets in this one.
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Life is full of uncomfortable, crappy moments. It's how we get through those moments that defines the way we build character.
And at this rate, I should have the greatest, most dignified, full character ever created. I can't remember all the times I've been left with uneasy and just plain yuck feelings.
A lot of those feelings can be self inflicted due to the dramas of life. But we've all been there. Sometimes, well, a lot of times, we hit low spots. You learn quickly that just about anything can drag you down low.
Redditor u/marcz52 wanted everyone to open up about the things in life that have left us with feelings of unease, by asking:
What is the worst feeling ever?
Guilt. That is a big one for me. I hate guilt, mostly because I wish I could avoid it. And guilt finds a way to pile on quickly with age. I'm starting to feel it.
Screw UpsSorry Dog GIF by swerkGiphy
"When you screw up and a bunch of people were impacted. You're ashamed and have apologised but everyone's still pissed and too polite to mention it but you know they're all still steamed."
"this isn't too bad"
"Broke my back during an accident a few years ago. Made a full recovery, but the night after they put chapstick sized screws in my back to hold it all together remains the most painful and miserable experience of my entire life. Woke up from surgery thinking "this isn't too bad," then entered the depths of hell a few hours later when the anesthesia faded."
"Fun fact: There's a limit to how many painkillers they can give you right after you've been under complete anesthesia. They increased the dosage the next day and i was alright, but that first night was something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy."
"The feeling before you throw up really warm saliva, stomach hurting and heart moving."
"Oh man. Finally deciding to throw up at 11 PM after an all day hangover with nothing in your stomach. I've done it quite a few times. It's so brutal in those first few moments. Eventually you do feel better than before though. Don't be like me. Make the choice to throw up early. THROW UP LIKE A MAN!!"
"Dealing with post partum anxiety. During a little family drive all was well until I looked at the dash. I had a panic attack over the gas gauge being close to E, despite us near a gas station and fine for money etc all of that. Absolutely bonkers panic attack. It was completely unwarranted yet it happened. I'm currently working on it with CB Therapy and it's been helpful."
Oh No!waking up no GIFGiphy
"Suddenly remembering something very important you were supposed to do at work at about 10 at night."
How are you feeling so far? I've had more comfortable reads. Some of this is giving me anxiety. And that is the last thing I need. But alas, here we are. I suppose we should continue.
Unease!Scared Breaking Bad GIF by davidsaracinoGiphy
"That dread in the pit of your stomach when you don't know if someone you love is alive or dead. I wouldn't wish that on anyone."
"Looking around and realizing there is no one you can really talk to anymore."
"I'm forced to be alone because my family wants me to come back home. I just wish they weren't trying to isolate me and force me to please a bunch of rich designers because honestly I'm heartbroken miserable and sad all the time. I just don't feel like I can connect with anyone anymore because everyone is constantly in their head imagining things about me instead of just talking to me."
"The death of a loved one."
"Especially if it's sudden, even if they're older. I lost my grandmother a few months ago to an accident, she always seemed so strong, like she'd live forever. It feels the same as when I lost my aunt, almost 13 years ago, to a brain aneurysm. She was only in her 40s. Losing both of them hurts in a different way than when someone passes after a long illness."
"When you love someone, not only just care for them and appreciate their presence, but truly love them. You can't imagine a moment without them, a future that doesn't include them or a lifetime that isn't besides them. they are your muse, your motivation, and everything in between, without them, you feel less. they make you the person you want to be. Well when the feeling isn't reciprocated, that can suck majorly."
PROOF!Jim Carrey Reaction GIFGiphy
"Everyone accusing you of lying when you're not actually lying and no way to proof it."
Death, lies and despair. At least they don't last forever, just until the next round. Next time you feel this yuck, try to breathe and smile. I don't know, It can't hurt.
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Learning about a juicy family secret can typically go one of two ways.
Sometimes it's purely fascinating and fills us with the same excited interest as faraway gossip. Other times, however, it involves us personally, and the truth is hard to bear.
People all over the internet are loaded with stories of both varieties, and a recent Reddit thread asked folks to come forward with theirs.
Redditor skadarski asked:
"Did your parents reveal a secret to you once you reached adulthood? If so, what was it?"
For many, the deep secrets involved the hidden, true relationships between family members. Soap operas are not as fictional as we may have hoped.
A Holiday Reveal
"That I had a much older half-sister. Apparently my father had got some girl knocked up in high school, her parents didn't like him and thought they were too young to raise a kid, so they just packed up and moved. He knew she existed, but never tried to locate her and just moved on with his life."
"After I was in college, the sister had contacted him and they got together. Well nobody bothered to mention this fact to me until I come home from college for Thanksgiving and this strange women is sitting at the table and my dad says, 'Meet your sister.' "
Kept Far Away
"When I turned 18 I got a letter from a distant Aunt and Uncle wishing me a happy birthday."
"I hadn't seen them since I was a a baby, but there's hundreds of pictures of them and me together when I was a baby. They used to babysit me a lot and take me on vacations with them."
"My Mom told me they used me to smuggle things. I guess they said it was super easy to smuggle just about anything with a baby. At one point literally hiding cocaine in my diaper."
"When I was 18 my mom told me how my dad cheated on her with this woman named Kathy. I actually remembered Kathy when I was kid because my dad would take my brother and I to her house. She would buy us computer games and stuff so we loved her at the time. I never understood why my mom hated her until I was older."
"Kathy ended up marrying my dad's best friend. As an adult I was never nice to her and my dad would give me sh** about it. I finally told him that I knew about her and that mom had told me everything. He just said "Oh, alright then." He never gave me sh** again."
An Italian Coverup
"Kind of. My sister decided to take a DNA test to get some insight into her ancestry. She got her results back and had zero percent Italian, while our dad is 100% Italian. She didn't confront them right away and instead decided to wait until I took the test and get my results."
"Four weeks later I got my results back and sure enough, I also had zero percent Italian, and it actually identified my biological father, who isn't my dad. They revealed the secret when my sister intentionally let it slip that she was and I were waiting for our DNA results."
"I'm 38 and it never once came up. It wasn't even really for a bad reason, they had fertility issues and went to a sperm bank. I'm honestly not sure they ever would have said anything"
For others, the secret was all about the source--or absence--of cold hard cash.
A Deep, Deep Hole
"Most of my college was paid by someone named Tony (random dude to me). I know you're all thinking that it was some sort of lovechild thing, but it turns out my grandfather was a bookie and Tony was always just a bad gambler."
"So instead of My grandpa having his knees capped, he made a deal Tony would pay for college."
People Share The Craziest Lies They've Told That Came True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"My great-uncle (dad's uncle) left me a large sum of money in trust that I was to receive at either age 25, graduated from college, or was honorably discharged from military service (he retired from military), whichever came first. I had no idea and I'm glad I didn't."
"I joined the military right out of high school and when I had my DD-214 in hand, my parents took me to a lawyer who laid it all out. Wow. Because of the enhanced GI Bill, I didn't have to touch a cent of it for tuition. I did use it to buy a house though."
"I miss my great-uncle as much for his wisdom as his company."
More Generous Than Any Knew
"My grandfather was a small business owner who everyone always thought of as extremely frugal due to growing up poor. Later we found out he spent a significant amount of money on charitable causes and helped a lot of his employees with financial and in one case legal trouble."
"Positive secret, but it was definitely a secret."
And some shared truly bizarre stories from the years they were too young to know what the heck was actually going on.
A Secret Prolonged
"Not yet, but when I was in college and my parents got divorced, my dad gave me all the information on what to do if he passes. Told me where things are, and had me go to his bank to sign a document for access to his account after he dies."
"When we were leaving the bank, he told me, 'your mother is not who you think she is. Everything you need to know is in my deposit box.' "
"I have no clue what he could be talking about—he never elaborated, and my mom laughed it off when I told her about it."
"Guess I'll find out one day."
Not Just A Saying
"When I was a kid, my dad accidentally killed a raccoon with his car. It had a young one with it that wasn't hit, so we adopted the baby raccoon."
"We adored it, but we were not at all equipped to care for it. There was no lock or cage that could stop this thing. It was very clever, strong and curious. It got into cupboards and ate food and trash, and we'd find its sh** in the most random places."
"One day my dad sat me down and told me that my raccoon had 'gone to live on a farm.' I was old enough to know what that meant, and I was heartbroken."
"Just a few years ago I was telling this story to my husband and my dad interrupted me and said that he literally, actually gave my raccoon away to a work acquaintance of his that had a farm and a lot of wooded property. It had become so accustomed to humans it constantly broke into the man's house and ate his food, and got enormously fat and lived a long ornery raccoon life."
"There was story growing up about how a local prince wanted to marry me and offered things like cows for my hand in marriage."
"When my father passed away I went to my home country and met cousins I had not met before."
"Turned out the prince was the president's son and it wasn't an offer, it was a demand. We snuck out of the country because he was going to make me his wife - bear in mind, I was a toddler."
"My mom filled in the back story. The company my dad worked for had to smuggle us out of the country. My life was so exciting when I was 6."
Perhaps these stories have you feeling like your life could be more exciting. But before you start thinking that way, perhaps there are secrets you simply haven't heard yet.
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We are all dying to know the juicy secrets behind something as controversial as a non-disclosure agreement. An entire world of information that we don't know--and, as humans are extremely curious creatures, we are simply absolutely on board with learning all of the juicy secrets behind an NDA.
The trouble is, NDAs are used on a lot of things. Sometimes they're just to prevent corporate espionage. Sometimes it's because you've booked a job onboard a major film/tv-series and the creators want to keep it under wraps.
Sometimes it is juicy though, and those times...well. Those are the ones we tell everybody.
"People no longer bound by their NDA, what can you now disclose?"
Here were some of the juiciest answers.
The Cola Warscoca cola GIFGiphy
"Not my own but from a family friend. Coca Cola and Pepsi regularily settle disputes behind closed doors on things like employees trying to quit and join the competitor."
"Their employment contracts have entire clauses stating you cannot be employed by the competing companies even after you quit so to protect company intel and confidentiality."
"For example, a Coca Cola employee feels like he is being mistreated by the company so he quits and tries to work for Pepsi."
"So Pepsi's legal team will inform Coca Cola as soon as they find out and Coca Cola will sue the guy for breach of contract and in return Pepsi will pay them."
"This is done so Pepsi and Coca Cola don't sue each others into bankruptcy for breach of laws regarding industrial competition and market regulations. Basically a peace treaty of sorts."-JazzPhobic
Behind The Mask, Who Are They?
"I was part of the beta testing for DC universe online. I remember a few missions that were voiced probably just by developers, before they hired the voice actors to do it."
"I wish I had saved footage of it but there was one where Supergirl was clearly voiced by a man doing a high-pitched falsetto voice. One of the funniest things I've ever seen."-DrumBxyThing
Hollywood For An Evening
"Not sure if I'm no longer bound or not or how common knowledge it is, but living in NYC I was paid to be a fan at a major red carpet movie premiere for a popular film franchise."
"100% of the people there were paid to act excited as famous actors and a VERY famous director walked out and said hello and did interviews. We were under strict instructions not to let anyone know we were hired."-LearnedToUnicycle
See? We told you--sometimes, it's just corporate America. But sometimes it's test runs of (now well-known or defunct) products:
A Good Idea In Theory
"Cheetos Clean Paws. I worked in market research and Frito-Lay tested these back in 2007, I think. The concept was Cheetos that didn't leave orange dust on your fingers."
"What that translates to is Cheetos with an edible lacquer sprayed on them. But they tested very poorly because they tasted like they had edible lacquer sprayed on them."
"My coworkers and I referred to them as semi-gloss Cheetos."-darkisright
No More Drama
"I signed an NDA for a predominant American show where they take a certain type of business on the brink of failure and 'transform it' to save the business."
"When the producers of the show found out my wife and I both worked there, they tried to fish through our relationship for tv drama."
"When they found out we have a solid relationship, they tried to convince us to fake our drama with scripted conflict. Long story short, we got fed up and quit during shooting. We were cut from the show. Oh well."-unholyXwater
Hollywood Conspiracy Come To Life
"I used to work for a company that tracked ticket sales for theaters across the US. By contractual agreement with Hollywood studios, we collected information for approximately 80% of theaters, but we were not allowed to collect that last 20%. Why?"
"You may have heard of Hollywood accounting. Hollywood studios work very, very hard to ensure their accounting is as beneficial to the studios as possible. No surprise; all businesses do this."
"But Hollywood has unusually high amounts of money in very narrow products, creating a distorted market. And the industry is rife with films grossing obscene amounts of money but not reporting a profit."
"Because our company couldn't collect that last 20% of theater data, it wasn't possible to absolutely say that a movie made X number of dollars."
"So, I can't prove it, but ...On Friday, June 21st, 2002, the movies "Minority Report" and "Lilo and Stitch" were both released to great fanfare."
"This is a lie. Lilo and Stitch earned more money than Minority Report its opening weekend. 20th Century Fox couldn't have a Tom Cruise feature film being beaten by a f**king cartoon."
"So someone at 20th Century Fox called Disney and offered a deal. Since the full amount of money earned couldn't be proven, Fox would announce that Minority Report was the top earner for the weekend. In exchange ..."
"We never knew what the exchange was. We simply knew that Minority Report was reported as the top earner and Disney received some benefit for not saying anything."-OvidPerl
And They Say American Industry's Dead
"Used to work in a warehouse where we made feminine hygiene products. The pads came out of one machine into several different branded boxes. Both the nickel gas station pads and the 10 dollar a box pads."
"Also we had one product of pads where we imported them from china, then repackaged them into our own boxes. I didn't have a problem with that. The problem I had was the box had an emblem saying 'made in America.'"
"Would've been ok if it said assembled in America. But no."-GGATHELMIL
Studio deals, scripted drama, and failed products? What else can fall under an NDA? Let's find out:
"Used to work for Disney. They only used Disney employees for the test screenings of Marvel movies so I got to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2 (already great) and an early version of Doctor Strange that needed A LOT of work."
"When we were giving feedback to the moderator the writers were sitting in the back with their heads in their hands looking very defeated."
"It was a confusing mess but they fleshed out the characters more so it was better by the time it was released. Oh also they used to kill a lot of ducks with pyro at Disney World when they did the IllumiNations show at Epcot. Shhhhh."-meany_beany
Doggos Deserving Better
"Adogo is a doggy daycare in Minnesota that made me sign an NDA for two years saying I was not allowed to talk about the company mainly, sadly, because they treat the workers and dogs like sh*t."
"No care for how many dogs were packed into a room, which is both unsafe for the dogs and the dog attendant. Often I'd be alone in a small room with up to 25+ dogs, most who only had the most minor of behavioral tests done to see if they would play well in daycare."
"Owner also tried to get around not paying my worker's comp when I did get injured on the job, and whenever anybody put in their two weeks after realizing what a toxic work environment it was (which was often) he would punish them with scheduling them all week or make them open to close 12 hours for all their shifts."
"If you're in Minnesota and looking for a reputable dog daycare: STAY AWAY FROM ADOGO. If in the Twin Cities I would recommend Dog Days, not perfect, but they actually seem to care."-Gday613
The Bee Problem
"I used to work in a call center that had Bayer Advanced (yes, THAT Bayer) as a client. Bayer knew/knows full well that their neonicotinoid based pesticide/gardening products killed bees and were responsible for colony collapse."
"We were instructed to bold face deny and/or lie to the customer or caller if we were ever asked about it. We were also instructed to lie about the spray nozzles on the bottles."
"Bayer knew they sucked and were almost always completely DOA defective, but they refused to admit it and decided it was cheaper to just keep mailing replacement nozzles."-wizardswrath00
Everything from a doggy day-care to an evil corporate overlord who knew full well their product was harming the earth can be covered under an NDA. The lack of specificity of what an NDA can be used for, in part, is responsible for this; the other part is the human beings can really be a little scummy.
In the instances where the NDA protects the integrity of a working project, we see the (likely) original intended use. Are you under any NDAs right now? And when they're up, will you go on and spill all those secrets?