Getting asked out often comes as a surprise, but it can be even more surprising if the one asking isn't someone you would expect.

Straight guys usually don't expect dating offers from gay or bi guys, so they can often be caught off guard when asked on a date. How they handle this surprise varies wildly between individuals, though.

Reddit user AppropriateAd5471 asked:

"Straight men of reddit, what would you do if a gay/bisexual man asked you out?"

Were You Talking To Me?

Same thing as if a woman asked me out; turn around to see who they were actually talking to


Laugh and ask who set them up


I Ain't That Straight

Well... How good looking is the man asking? Does he look like Rob Beckett or Jason Momoa?

Cause Rob Beckett, it ain't happening, mate, no hard feelings.

But... Momoa? Sh*t, I ain't that straight.


I've always said that I ain't bi but Ryan Reynolds is Ryan Reynolds.


Do You Dabble In Man On Man Activities

Oh my god this happened to my husband last night. He sold a guy a guitar, and completed the transaction in person. Right after the guy left, he texted and said "By any chance, do you ever dabble in man on man activities?". So he just texted the guy back "No" and he was all like "OK, no worries then!".

I think that was the first time a guy ever hit on him/propositioned him. He's 60. I had to chuckle at the phrasing "dabble in man on man activities". Good stuff.



i'm not gay, but thanks for making my day.


This is the correct response.


Thanks For The Compliment

Politely decline. And be very pleased with the compliment. I am married and have been for decades. But it's always nice to feel attractive. My kink is monogamy so I would turn down anyone that isn't the wife regardless of gender.


Wanna Grab A Beer?

Tell them I'm not gay, but that it'd still be cool to hang out and go for a beer or something. This has worked for me so far.


That's Really Flattering

“Awh that's really flattering! But I'm not interested. Sorry!"


​It's Annoying At Work

This sort of happened to me at work, back when I was an associate at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I was single at the time, a guy begins hitting on me mid-shift as I'm trying to assist him and at some point his flirting becomes more aggressive. I did the thing of politely declining because I needed the job, but I really just wanted to tell him to piss off, as I was busy working.


It never occurred to me this might happen to men. As a woman working in retail it happened a lot


My Girlfriend Would Get Jealous

Had this happen A LOT while in the marines. Always caught me off guard, but I would throw a compliment their way but politely use the line "my girlfriend would get jealous" or just say "I don't swing on that side of the plate". Always left them with a compliment though.


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Politely Decline

Politely decline, you never want to make a person (regardless of gender or sexual preference) feel like sh*t for trying to take their shot.

Sometimes gay men don’t take a polite decline for what it is though, and think you’re just playing hard to get, which is a bit annoying.


Sometimes straight men do that with women too, it varies from annoying to terrifying


Consider The Possibilities

About once every two years I see a man I find attractive and wonder what it would be like. Otherwise I don’t think about this


No Thanks

Uber driver did this to me while driving me to an NBA game. I just said no thanks and got out of the car at the end of the ride


Just A Kiss

This happened to me a few years ago, but it was in a gay bar. I said “sorry man, I’m not gay, but you’re hot so thanks for the compliment”. He then said “you don’t have to be gay to get a little tongue action” - so I kissed the man. Can’t say I enjoyed it, the beard was scratchy 😂


No Harm In Some Platonic Cuddling

I'm straight, but I won't say no to dinner and cuddling.


Be Cool

It's actually happened to me, and I politely declined an adorable gay man wearing a tiara. He was struck by how kind I was and thanked me for being "cool." This was 16 years ago or so...


Let's Be Friends

Be flattered. Don’t really get asked out ever as a guy. But I’d decline. Doesn’t mean we couldn’t be friends though.


Just Not Interested In Men

I have been asked out multiple times by gay and bisexual men, and have said I am flattered but not interested in dating men.


Is there an option other than politely declining like a decent human being? I mean, after I get over the shock of someone expressing interest in me.


I Enjoy The Company Of Women

In my past I have politely declined the advance with something my Dad said many years ago: "I'm flattered you feel that way but I enjoy the company of women. But if I ever get my fulfillment of women, I'll give you a call." Was told that it was the nicest put down they had ever heard.


Even if you're 100% not interested in them, it can still feel great to know someone is interested in you. Your best bet is to just politely decline and go on with your day.

Photo by UX Gun on Unsplash

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