Reddit user winkeltwinkle asked:
"Straight men of Reddit who is the hottest man?"
But would heterosexual men respond?
"Society: Most men are insecure about their sexuality."
"Reddit: Straight men of reddit, who is the hottest man?"
"Most Men: OH f*ck yes, here we go!"
~ Zetawilky
"Bless this site and bless these men."
~ Fluffy-kitten28
Respond they did, with enthusiasm.
Viggo Mortensen
"Aragorn, son of Arathorn."
~ CHIM_Jim
"Every man will momentarily hesitate when scheduling a haircut, because deep down he feels like if he let his hair grow just a little longer, he could look exactly like Aragorn."
~ CaptainOverthinker
"Funnily enough Legolas was my favourite as a kid."
"Now I’m grown up, I realise how humble and headstrong Aragorn is. He’s my favourite."
~ Le_Jacob
GiphyHenry Cavill
"Henry Cavill. I'd gladly spend a day with him just talking about geek stuff."
~ Ockial
"Look I'm as straight as they come. Married with two kids and everything."
"But all I'm saying is if Henry Cavill wants to tie me down and whisper the specs to his new PC tower in his Geralt voice, who am I to say no?"
~ WaffleBlink
"Samehere, but he won't even need to tie me down."
"For him I'll switch teams willingly."
~ Centralredditfan
"I didn't say I would be tied down involuntarily."
~ WaffleBlink
"I usually couldn't tell you if some guy off the street is handsome or not. Like... am I the handsome one out of my group of friends or am I the ugly one? Somewhere in the middle? I have no clue."
"Henry Cavill, though, that dude is a 10. Even I can tell you that."
~ Ocksu2
GiphyChris Evans
"I'm not gay, OK, I'm not. I like chicks."
"But if Chris Evans' Captain America needed to get off, like, to save the world from Hydra or something, and I was the only one around?
"Well I'm a patriot dammit! I'd let him [have sex with] me."
~ CheeseNBacon2
"Hell yeah brother, a true patriot you are."
~ daddydilly694-20
"I understood that reference."
~ imsorryisuck
GiphyHarrison Ford
"1980s Harrison Ford."
~ CurlSagan
"Specifically as Indiana Jones."
~ SuckItClarise
"Handsome face. Lean build. Shirt hanging open. Sweaty as f*ck. Littlebit of 'tude."
"Yes please."
~ Kalfu73
"Harrison Ford in Blade Runner is peak male form."
~ RubberRoads
GiphyHugh Jackman
"I would totally go gay for Hugh Jackman."
"Good looking, great actor, great singer, great dancer and seems like an all around cool dude with a great sense of humor."
~ Krinks1
"This is the one! He is beautiful and talented, inside and out."
"Humble, honest, caring, down-to-earth, and shredded as all heck."
"I thought I didn’t have a homosexual bone in my body, but that scene where he comes popping out of the tank as Wolverine … something awoke inside of me."
~ monkeymanlover
Great Guys
"I love that so many of the gruff and tough characters are usually played by such kind and fun men.
"Say what you will about the Fast and Familyous movies, but Vin Diesel looks like he would be fun to hang out with. And Dwayne Johnson looks like he would be able to make you enjoy getting into a workout routine."
~ Fyrrys
"[Hugh Jackman is a] super nice guy as well."
"I met him a few years ago while helping a friend to move, who incidentally was a Broadway actor. Hugh was there as well lugging boxes with the rest of us."
~ fulthrottlejazzhands
Ryan Gosling
"I went to Barbie for Margot Robbie, I stayed for Ryan Gosling."
~ Leemur89
"My straight male fiancé says the same."
"As soon as the 'I am Kenough' sweater appeared, he leaned over to me and almost tearfully whispered- 'I really need that sweatshirt'.”
~ janet-snake-hole
Jensen Ackles
"Jensen Ackles"
~ Aggressive_Finding_7
"The only time I thought my wife was going to legit fight her bestie was a group road trip to his brewery west of Austin, and they were arguing over who got 'dibs' if they spotted Jensen."
"I finally told them I did."
~ ATXGOAT93
"I'm a straight man and I binge watched Supernatural and I think it was the only time I was actually emotional when the show ended, like I genuinely missed Dean for a minute there."
~ Im-a-cat-in-a-box
"Deep voice, tall, perfect face genetics, total dork. I'd love to see him in something with Cavill."
~ sendabussypic
"I keep forgetting he's tall, considering he spent 15 years standing next to his moose of a brother/costar."
~ bluegiant85
Ewan McGregor
"Ewan McGregor. Surprised I haven't seen him mentioned."
"He looks good, has a Scottish accent, and seems genuinely nice and wholesome."
~ NuggetPilon
"My husband is straight but he would literally push me out of the way if it meant making eye contact with Ewan McGregor."
~ DoctorofFeelosophy
"I’ve had a man crush on Ewan McGregor since watching The Long Way Around."
"My wife understands I’d leave her for him if he asked me."
~ Calan_adan
GiphyHollywood Legends
"Robert Redford in his younger years. The guy had an annoyingly winning smile that just reminded us all of what we'll never be."
~ bdbr
"Add Paul Newman to that list - the movies he did with Redford are gold. Great chemistry between those two."
~ TheTalentedMrTorres
"I know it doesn't need to be said, but a young Marlon Brando is probably the hottest actor of all time."
Define Hottest Man...
"Power went out last night, so we don’t have air conditioning."
"Not to brag, but it’s me."
~ Dystopian_Divisions
We all have our personal preferences, but some men just seem to be almost universally admired.
So did your hottest man make the list?
A deleted Redditor wanted to hear about the ways straight men couldn't take a hint, so they asked:
"Lesbians of Reddit, what’s the most ridiculous thing a straight guy told you to talk you into having sex with them?"
How Patriotic
"I had a guy try to entice me with his weed. He literally pulled out the American flag bong with the grinder that looked like ammunition. Honestly left me kinda speechless."
xSwishyy
A Transplant
"Didn't go as far as sex but was definitely the most ridiculous thing a straight guy has said to me so far. I was trying to check out at the store when the 60-something y/o cashier started flirting with me, asking if I had a boyfriend, etc. When he asked why I didn't I told him I'm a lesbian and he said 'I actually have a female kidney from my transplant a couple years ago so we wouldn't have a problem together.'"
BestiesWithBaphomet
Me Too!
"The opposite - a very drunk man approached me on a station platform and asked me out. I awkwardly replied, 'Sorry, I’m gay.' He said, 'You like women??' and I nodded, bracing for homophobia… but instead he just excitedly exclaimed 'ME TOO!!!' and shook my hand. Then he left me alone. It was an extremely funny and non-threatening interaction and I think fondly of him from time to time."
orangepigeon
Let's Dance
"My brother was absolutely refusing to take no for an answer when asking [my friend] to prom. I think my brother asked my friend to prom like 5 times before they just started ignoring him. I also told off my brother cause my friend is open about being a lesbian and told him that they were a lesbian. Something about not having a lesbian somehow makes guys angry because they can't take no for an answer."
pumpkinthighs
Can men really be this off?
Oh the Drama
Feeling It Drama Club GIF by NickelodeonGiphy"He said that I had no idea what it's like to be the single straight guy who tries to find (sex) love. And it's cruel for me to not give him even a chance to be romantic with me. And I don't have a good reason to say no because he is good-looking and earns more money than I do lol."
Original-Pineapple18
DIBS
"This guy was one of my closer friends at the time, and SOLIDLY friend-zoned. We’d established countless times over the last year that we weren’t into each other, I was lesbian, and that even if I weren’t he wouldn’t go for me, yada yada. We’d talked about things that I would NOT have discussed if I knew he would ever be into me."
"Well lo and behold, one day I realize I’m questioning whether I’m bisexual or not due to a mutual friend. I bring it up to him in a state of real vulnerability, cuz I thought I’d had everything figured out before this, but wanted my friend’s input on if it was a good idea to bring it up to hot-dude directly."
"This grown-a** man told me HE HAD DIBS. D I B S."
Kazooasaurus
Preferences
"Not a lesbian, but I’m bi with a pretty strong preference for women. Probably THE most common response from guys when I say I’m not interested in 'Really? I dunno, you don’t look like you date girls.' I never know how to respond. Do they expect me to suddenly realize I’m NOT into women? Do they think questioning my preferences is endearing or sexy??"
Individual_Ad_7523
So Sexy
Ryan Reynolds GIF by CBCGiphy"Always the standard idea of they think their penis is magical and can 'turn' me. Uh, no. Also, have had more than a few guys say 'You're too attractive' to be a lesbian. They actually think it's a compliment. Oof."
Goody2Shuuz
Listen to someone's boundaries when they tell you, gentleman!
It's really that simple.
Does anyone have any similar stories? Let us know in the comments below.
For such dudes, to really throw off the scent, not only is any and all emotionally expressive behavior NEVER displayed, but it must be called out when other, lesser men engage in that kind of moral transgression.
This finger pointing often takes a specific form: calling it "gay." It's a bit absurd, as the insult arises from a feeling that a man isn't performing gender right. But being gay has nothing to do with gender.
Hilarity ensues, though, when the calling out becomes so paranoid and vigilant that very strange things are deemed "gay."
u/ma_damn_blueberry asked, "Straight men of Reddit: what's the strangest thing you've been told not to do because 'that's gay'?"
A Real Man Would Start Over
I was reading a book and a couple dudes called me gay. Not for reading a book, but because I was using a bookmark.
Unsustainable
There was a thread on here a while back where some poor girl told the world about an ex who wouldn't wipe himself or wash his genitals cause "touching a penis is gay"
Can't Imagine How Ugly the Cup Holder Dispute Got
My brother-in-law and I went to a movie. He told me it was gay to sit next to him. I told him to stop being a b*tch and I sat right next to him. For the entire movie.
GiphyA Very Thin, Hollow, Dr. Pepper Filled Penis
Use a straw.
Because apparently it's like having a tiny peen in your mouth.
I still use straws and haven't had the urge to be with a man yet.
Giphy"No Being Dry!"
Linen shopping. By my best friend.
That's nice bro, but I need towels. Deal with it.
GiphyA Far Cry From "No Thank You"
A guy in the bus offered his seat to a woman that was standing. She looked at him and said "Are you gay or something?" like it's gay to be polite.
The Long Stem Mimosa Glass Really Set Off the Alarms
Brunch. If steak, eggs and alcohol at noon are gay, well then f*ck it.
A Stone Would be Hotter
Girl - "Oh, I thought you were gay"
Me - "What?!? Haha, noooo. Why did you think that?"
Girl - "Because you were smiling so big and laughing a lot"
Geographical Determinism
I grew up in California before moving to the east coast as a teenager.
I've been told all Californian's are gay or at least bi, more than once.
GiphyHigh Schoolers are Insane
I wore my watch on my right hand. Apparently when i was in high school that gay as f*ck.
Heterosexuality is Generated From the Plaque Between Your Teeth
Floss my teeth.
Apparently, gingivitis is something only hetero people have.
GiphyBear in Tights
I sew renaissance type costumes as a hobby. I've been told I should stop doing it because sewing is either gay or women's work.
On the plus side I am a 6'2 bear of a man so when I tell them to f*ck off, they usually leave it be.
Fleetwood Mac. Nuff Said.
Enjoy female singers/fronted bands. I came from a very stupid place with a very stupid culture.
Clearly a Huge Freud Fan
My sister told me that her Psychology teacher explained that every man that went to see a prostitute were secretly gay because they were seeking out the previous man's penis inside the prostitute's vagina.
"Citrus is a Fruit, My Hands are Tied"
Tried to order a Mojito at a bar back when they were all the rage since I had only heard of them and never tried one.
Waiter looked at me and said "No. You're not gay so i wont get that for you."
But...i just wanted to try a popular cocktail....
Straight and Wet
My sister told me this gem.
Her male friend said he hated being a guy because he COULDN'T USE AN UMBRELLA.
"Lactose Proficient" is an Incredible Phrase
Drink milk. Especially chocolate milk. I've been singled out on 3 occasions, and was once called gay for it. By store clerks, no less.
I love milk and I'm lactose proficient, so I told them I'd use my lactose proficiency however I like.
GiphyGay is the New Respectful
Having friends that are girls that you don't sexually harass.