Getting asked out often comes as a surprise, but it can be even more surprising if the one asking isn't someone you would expect.
Straight guys usually don't expect dating offers from gay or bi guys, so they can often be caught off guard when asked on a date. How they handle this surprise varies wildly between individuals, though.
Reddit user AppropriateAd5471 asked:
Were You Talking To Me?
Same thing as if a woman asked me out; turn around to see who they were actually talking to
Laugh and ask who set them up
I Ain't That Straight
Well... How good looking is the man asking? Does he look like Rob Beckett or Jason Momoa?
Cause Rob Beckett, it ain't happening, mate, no hard feelings.
But... Momoa? Sh*t, I ain't that straight.
I've always said that I ain't bi but Ryan Reynolds is Ryan Reynolds.
Do You Dabble In Man On Man Activities
Oh my god this happened to my husband last night. He sold a guy a guitar, and completed the transaction in person. Right after the guy left, he texted and said "By any chance, do you ever dabble in man on man activities?". So he just texted the guy back "No" and he was all like "OK, no worries then!".
I think that was the first time a guy ever hit on him/propositioned him. He's 60. I had to chuckle at the phrasing "dabble in man on man activities". Good stuff.
i'm not gay, but thanks for making my day.
This is the correct response.
Thanks For The Compliment
Politely decline. And be very pleased with the compliment. I am married and have been for decades. But it's always nice to feel attractive. My kink is monogamy so I would turn down anyone that isn't the wife regardless of gender.
Wanna Grab A Beer?
Tell them I'm not gay, but that it'd still be cool to hang out and go for a beer or something. This has worked for me so far.
That's Really Flattering
“Awh that's really flattering! But I'm not interested. Sorry!"
It's Annoying At Work
This sort of happened to me at work, back when I was an associate at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I was single at the time, a guy begins hitting on me mid-shift as I'm trying to assist him and at some point his flirting becomes more aggressive. I did the thing of politely declining because I needed the job, but I really just wanted to tell him to piss off, as I was busy working.
It never occurred to me this might happen to men. As a woman working in retail it happened a lot
My Girlfriend Would Get Jealous
Had this happen A LOT while in the marines. Always caught me off guard, but I would throw a compliment their way but politely use the line "my girlfriend would get jealous" or just say "I don't swing on that side of the plate". Always left them with a compliment though.
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Politely decline, you never want to make a person (regardless of gender or sexual preference) feel like sh*t for trying to take their shot.
Sometimes gay men don’t take a polite decline for what it is though, and think you’re just playing hard to get, which is a bit annoying.
Sometimes straight men do that with women too, it varies from annoying to terrifying
Consider The Possibilities
About once every two years I see a man I find attractive and wonder what it would be like. Otherwise I don’t think about this
Uber driver did this to me while driving me to an NBA game. I just said no thanks and got out of the car at the end of the ride
Just A Kiss
This happened to me a few years ago, but it was in a gay bar. I said “sorry man, I’m not gay, but you’re hot so thanks for the compliment”. He then said “you don’t have to be gay to get a little tongue action” - so I kissed the man. Can’t say I enjoyed it, the beard was scratchy 😂
No Harm In Some Platonic Cuddling
I'm straight, but I won't say no to dinner and cuddling.
It's actually happened to me, and I politely declined an adorable gay man wearing a tiara. He was struck by how kind I was and thanked me for being "cool." This was 16 years ago or so...
Let's Be Friends
Be flattered. Don’t really get asked out ever as a guy. But I’d decline. Doesn’t mean we couldn’t be friends though.
Just Not Interested In Men
I have been asked out multiple times by gay and bisexual men, and have said I am flattered but not interested in dating men.
Is there an option other than politely declining like a decent human being? I mean, after I get over the shock of someone expressing interest in me.
I Enjoy The Company Of Women
In my past I have politely declined the advance with something my Dad said many years ago: "I'm flattered you feel that way but I enjoy the company of women. But if I ever get my fulfillment of women, I'll give you a call." Was told that it was the nicest put down they had ever heard.
Even if you're 100% not interested in them, it can still feel great to know someone is interested in you. Your best bet is to just politely decline and go on with your day.
For many insecure fellas out there, anything that is not completely in line with the behavior of John Wayne in an old western film is to be avoided like the plague.
For such dudes, to really throw off the scent, not only is any and all emotionally expressive behavior NEVER displayed, but it must be called out when other, lesser men engage in that kind of moral transgression.
This finger pointing often takes a specific form: calling it "gay." It's a bit absurd, as the insult arises from a feeling that a man isn't performing gender right. But being gay has nothing to do with gender.
Hilarity ensues, though, when the calling out becomes so paranoid and vigilant that very strange things are deemed "gay."
u/ma_damn_blueberry asked, "Straight men of Reddit: what's the strangest thing you've been told not to do because 'that's gay'?"
A Real Man Would Start Over
I was reading a book and a couple dudes called me gay. Not for reading a book, but because I was using a bookmark.
There was a thread on here a while back where some poor girl told the world about an ex who wouldn't wipe himself or wash his genitals cause "touching a penis is gay"
Can't Imagine How Ugly the Cup Holder Dispute Got
My brother-in-law and I went to a movie. He told me it was gay to sit next to him. I told him to stop being a b*tch and I sat right next to him. For the entire movie.Giphy
A Very Thin, Hollow, Dr. Pepper Filled Penis
Use a straw.
Because apparently it's like having a tiny peen in your mouth.
I still use straws and haven't had the urge to be with a man yet.Giphy
"No Being Dry!"
Linen shopping. By my best friend.
That's nice bro, but I need towels. Deal with it.Giphy
A Far Cry From "No Thank You"
A guy in the bus offered his seat to a woman that was standing. She looked at him and said "Are you gay or something?" like it's gay to be polite.
The Long Stem Mimosa Glass Really Set Off the Alarms
Brunch. If steak, eggs and alcohol at noon are gay, well then f*ck it.
The Most Aggressive Review of a Pedicure
Get a pedicure. Holy f*ck that sh*t feels so good!Giphy
A Stone Would be Hotter
Girl - "Oh, I thought you were gay"
Me - "What?!? Haha, noooo. Why did you think that?"
Girl - "Because you were smiling so big and laughing a lot"
I grew up in California before moving to the east coast as a teenager.
I've been told all Californian's are gay or at least bi, more than once.Giphy
High Schoolers are Insane
I wore my watch on my right hand. Apparently when i was in high school that gay as f*ck.
Heterosexuality is Generated From the Plaque Between Your Teeth
Floss my teeth.
Apparently, gingivitis is something only hetero people have.Giphy
Bear in Tights
I sew renaissance type costumes as a hobby. I've been told I should stop doing it because sewing is either gay or women's work.
On the plus side I am a 6'2 bear of a man so when I tell them to f*ck off, they usually leave it be.
Fleetwood Mac. Nuff Said.
Enjoy female singers/fronted bands. I came from a very stupid place with a very stupid culture.
Clearly a Huge Freud Fan
My sister told me that her Psychology teacher explained that every man that went to see a prostitute were secretly gay because they were seeking out the previous man's penis inside the prostitute's vagina.
"Citrus is a Fruit, My Hands are Tied"
Tried to order a Mojito at a bar back when they were all the rage since I had only heard of them and never tried one.
Waiter looked at me and said "No. You're not gay so i wont get that for you."
But...i just wanted to try a popular cocktail....
Straight and Wet
My sister told me this gem.
Her male friend said he hated being a guy because he COULDN'T USE AN UMBRELLA.
"Lactose Proficient" is an Incredible Phrase
Drink milk. Especially chocolate milk. I've been singled out on 3 occasions, and was once called gay for it. By store clerks, no less.
I love milk and I'm lactose proficient, so I told them I'd use my lactose proficiency however I like.Giphy
Gay is the New Respectful
Having friends that are girls that you don't sexually harass.