We all want to find someone to love, don't we?
And all love stories are supposed to start the same way.
We see someone, crush on them, and picture a whole future together.
But because of that we often ignore the big neon signs that say... RUN!!
Let's focus on those signs for a bit.
Redditor xaviourmaan wanted to discuss what signs we need to take seriously when liking a person. They asked:
"What is a red flag when crushing on someone?"
If they steal from you in the beginning. Don't brush that under the rug. I speak from experience.
But...
canadian what GIF by CBC
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"When they reject you twice after saying they like you back."
de-knot-humen
Don't tell me...
"Most people like to hear that somebody has a crush on them, but you should be aware that sometimes people enjoy it because they like you and sometimes people enjoy it solely because it fuels their ego. If you start to feel like they are enjoying the attention but not giving you anything back, you should cut yourself off as soon as possible. It’s trading a bit of short term pain for long-term happiness and mental wellbeing."
drumsareloud
Black Cherry
"Asking you to come over on Saturday to watch Grey's Anatomy, requesting that you bring Mike's hard lemonade black cherry flavor, doing your best to find black cherry flavor but only find original OG lemon. Showing up with the drinks. Her getting mad and forcing me to go out for 3 hours to find black cherry Mike's hard lemonade."
Velghast
Obsessed
"If you start to become obsessed and put the crush on a pedestal, you'll always be disappointed when you get to really know them."
TreeElfie
"The way I see it is everyone has their flaws, insecurities and mistakes in the past that make them who they are in the present moment. As soon as you acknowledge this truth, conversations with people you crush on gets a lot easier and you don’t constantly feel like they’re better than you just cause you like them."
Electoriad
Me me me...
Pick Me Season 10 GIF by RuPaul's Drag Race
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"When they have the 'Me me me' mentality where everything you do has to lead to a positive outcome for them."
REMUvs
So many flags. We could have a holiday.
Initiation
Text Chat GIF by Iliza
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"When you are always the one who initiates texting."
lubu222
"If your crush never initiates a conversation, it just means they are not interested."
sparky_boi_360
both bad and also good...
"If you can’t think of serious negatives, if you don’t/can’t behave like yourself, and if you never ever disagree with them on anything. They’re signs of infatuation which is a wonderful drug, but it is not real. It’s chemical & fantasy and not grounded in reality, and at the end of the day you live in reality, and all of your choices have consequences (both bad and also good)."
"Another great red flag is if you’re getting mixed signals. It doesn’t mean it will never work, but it definitely won’t work today. You can still have fun and be with them, but don’t invest yourself fully if they aren’t. And don’t stop looking for someone with the clear signals in the meantime. Don’t go exclusive for someone giving you maybe signals."
"Source: my own life experience as someone prone to heavy infatuation and poor personal differentiation."
ihavespoken9
Normal
"When you're only thinking about their body, and ignore their terrible personality. Finding a crush attractive is completely normal, but don't mistake lust for love."
wahoo333
"I've had two major crushes in my life. One was completely lust, other was attraction to her personality. It was way more fun and exciting talking to the latter."
Working_Incident_877
“pick up wine on your way”
"Dated a girl for a while and every time she asked if I wanted to come over I’d say yes then it would be immediately followed with a 'pick up wine on your way' or 'grab dinner before you come'. Occasionally I can dig that but it was literally every time. I showed up once empty-handed and she was legit mad. I always texted her first too. Stopped texting first to see when she’d reach out to me and I haven’t heard from her since November."
samiam871
Conforming
No Way Do Not Want GIF by Schitt's Creek
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"When you fear loosing them to the point where you conform in ways that aren't authentic to you."
user deleted
Permissions
"I found out years after liking someone that one of their friends had called dibs on me, so no one else in that friend group was 'allowed' to get too close to me. I'm not even sure if the person who I liked had liked me back since I found this out by a different member of the group. I don't think I had ever felt as objectified as I did after finding that out."
"It was such a gross feeling. Good thing I never ended up going out with the guy who called dibs and threatened his friends. What an a**hole. I always wondered why people in that group suddenly started turning down my hangout invites. I thought it was something I had done."
lamepajamas
You First
"When they are never the one to contact you first. Yeah, my crush was for like 5 years. Texted nearly daily 4 months (me always starting or trying to drive conversations), and we hung out a few times. I told her I liked her, and was immediately friendzoned. Which is fine, I know where she stands without having to question anything. But if I actually took that advice to begin with, I wouldn’t have wasted so much thought or energy into the crush."
JustAHerpDerp
Get Back
"Expecting them to text back right away."
Ihatebuttonss
"Going through this now. Except he also will just randomly stop talking to me in the middle of a conversation and then text me three days later just continuing whatever we were talking about. It's not worth my energy at this point."
Illustrious_City_420
Run for the hills!
"When they tell you that you’re too good for them and that you deserve better. Run for the hills!"
Selinakyle91
"Because there is no good ending after such statement. A person who says this is telling the truth most of the time even without knowing it, as their intention is to break up or cheat on you and are trying to do it without being the a**hole, exposing themselves in the process. There is literally no good out after hearing this, just know your relationship is finished. Failing to acknowledge that will only end up in a toxic relationship or having your heart broken in a far more painful way."
TheSeth256
I See You
kris jenner GIF by KUWTK
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"Appearing too eager/desperate. Ironically, appearing too disinterested or aloof. Also, being too into yourself, being controlling or acting entitled, or being rude to people are all major red flags."
Chameleon777
"I need to go for a walk…"
"When you start cataloging the stray hairs you’ve collected is a pretty reliable measure you might need to go for a walk."
waxonwaxoff87
"Okay I feel personally attacked by this one. I have previously dated many dudes with longer hair (idk I like long hair on a guy), yesterday I was clearing out my closet and trying to figure out what still fits, tried on clothes I haven’t worn in years, kept finding random long hairs in said clothes and trying to figure out which hair belongs to which person.
"I need to go for a walk…"
DreyaNova
Maintaining
"STABILITY... How long do they keep responsibilities maintained. Probably the biggest red flag if they, for example, go from job to job, move from place to place, and or go through short relationships like candy. Stability in my opinion is the most underrated metric to measure someone’s reliability."
crusadingRABBIT
Facade
"Dwelling too much on looks. Appearance only create an initial impression which will eventually fade. I do realize that crushes are dependent on looks, but do try to listen to the things that come out of their mouths -- either to you or to someone else. That'll paint a much clearer idea."
shad_boii
EVIL
"It's the stupidest reasons but I was playing a video game with my crush and I fell in love with a dog that had followed me around, only for him to shoot it and laugh in the party chat while I sobbed. RIP Jackson, you were a funky lil golden following Marcus around (it was Watchdogs 2)."
Vestax_outpost
Nothing Better
Lady Gaga Ok GIF by House of Gucci
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"They only have time for you when they have nothing else going on."
PJFohsw97a
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.