I SEE YOU!
**We all want to be there for our friends, even when the truth hurts. We want them to find love and happiness and someone who is their "perfect" match. **
So it is difficult when you darn well know that the person they've shackled themselves to is not it! You wonder is it you? Is it jealousy? Are you overthinking it because nobody is good enough for your friend? Or are you spot on because you've noticed that there is just something "off" about this interloper? How do you pinpoint the root?
Redditor Nameshavebeenaltered asked about what signs people noticed in friend's significant others.
GAME NIGHT CAN BE ROUGH.
He had a full-on, toddler-level temper tantrum twice at a group game night. Once because during a trivia question he couldn't remember the planets in the solar system. Then, in the same night, he got pissy playing Uno, threw his cards down and stormed out. We all kind of looked at each other and at our friend. That was when we knew he was.. 'off.' My friends and I were all in our mid-20's and he was over 30, so it was definitely not acceptable behavior.
A couple weeks later was my friend's birthday, so we all went out for the night and ended up at our neighborhood bar. He threw another temper tantrum (I think it was over scoring for darts or something equally ridiculous...), stormed out and peeled away in his car, leaving us with no ride home. This was pre-Uber/Lyft and none of us wanted to spend the money on a taxi, so we sobered up on the ~two mile walk back to my friend's house.
Thankfully... she broke up with him not long after. She is now with a wonderful guy who not only knows the planets of the solar system, but also treats her a lot better.
WHEN THE DRAMA IS HIGH!!!
I met them as an already married couple and everything seemed fine until she went into labor at my house. It was her second child so she knew it was early labor and decided to rest on our couch while we hung out. We were going to watch her older child when she went to the hospital anyway and our house is 30 minutes closer to the hospital, so it made sense for the three of them to hang around our house until "go time." That's when my husband and I started noticing her husband's strange behavior.
He was a very charming guy and a very good father to his son, but he started making fun of his wife during contractions. He would roll his eyes and tell her to shut up if she even made the slightest groan. He joked that she was overreacting. The whole situation got so awkward that my husband insisted he go home to get their hospital bags, just to give the poor woman a break from her crappy husband.
NOTICE THE SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS!
When she went off on us for arranging a camp site at another friend's wedding (they got married on a 20 acre farm, and the reception was on-site) instead of agreeing to split a hotel room, with one bed, between 8 people (she got the bed, the rest of us would sleep on the floor.) Yeah, no.
WATCH YOUR BUNNIES!
My best friend's ex boyfriend walked like he was trying to intimidate people. And every time he asked someone a question about someone's opinion (hey what do you think of that statue, do you like sauerkraut) he'd respond to their answer with "I had a feeling you were going to say that." It seems harmless but it was every single time, and if you called him out on it (you couldn't possibly have known I was allergic to x!) he lashed out in anger. Every time she tried to break up with him he cornered her and wouldn't let her leave the room until she relented, and even their couple's therapist thought she should leave him for her own safety after two or three sessions. He would wait for her shift to end just sitting in his car in the parking lot and if she didn't come out fast enough he'd storm into the building in a fury, but if she came out on time he'd just leave. He wasn't there to pick her up, just to monitor her... which he also did through a gps tracker he put in her car.
HOLD ONTO YOU!
Was best friends with a dude (I'm a lady). Had been for a few years, never any chemistry or anything like that, at least on my end. He gets out of a long-term relationship, starts dating around. He'd often introduce me to these ladies as sort of a barometer of whether or not he thought they were a good match.
One weekend he invited a girl out with our group. She's super standoffish. Won't smile. Clearly isn't having a good time. I try to talk to her, get to know her, try to tell her about my friend and how great he is... she acts like I'm not there. Might as well have been the wallpaper.
A month later I'm on a date and we run into them. Remember: I am also on a date. With a man. As they are leaving they come over to say hello. She seems equally unhappy to be alive. I introduce my dude, the three of us chat for a minute while she stands there. I jokingly tug at his shirt in a "you ol' dog" kind of way. She STORMS OUT OF THE RESTAURANT. Both dudes are confused. Was not a flirty touch of any kind, more like a bro touch. Anyway.
Next day at work (I work with this guy), he comes up to me and says, "Hey, you can't do stuff like that. She's really damaged. Has jealousy issues. Doesn't trust men." I apologize profusely, because I didn't realize I had done anything wrong, even asked my date and he was baffled as well.
This friend had an emergency key to my house, in case I ever got locked out. He returned it a week later, citing something about "what if you call at 2am?"... but isn't that the point? Isn't that what BEST FRIENDS do? Help each other in times of need?
Flash forward a few months in. He refuses to speak to me. Again, we WORK together. Won't look me in the eye. He slowly gives up other relationships, male and female.
After dating the girl for 6 months, they get engaged. Now married. No idea how it's going or if he's happy. I ended up moving and haven't spoken to him since. Makes me really sad to see people give up who they are for a relationship.
CAREFUL OF THAT FRIEND REQUEST.
He constantly made fake social media accounts to try and get her to cheat on him.
THAT AIN'T COMEDY.
He started attending my college at 26, which isn't strange at all, but he INSISTED on living in the dorms for three years. It's not like we're a college town with expensive/far away/crappy off-campus housing, he just liked the ego boost of being around kids 8+ years younger than him. My friend was 19 when they started dating.
Another thing was that he was a "full time" stand up comedian with his own youtube channel. He mostly did open mic events at bars, but couldn't stand watching other people on stage perform if it wasn't him. He would sit and seethe when my friend told him she didn't want to leave when watching other people perform.
Thankfully they broke up last week and I couldn't be more proud or happy for her.
YOU CAN'T CHANGE THEM!
He showed abusive and manipulating behavior from day one. But it was fine because she loved him and she could change him. A year later he had cheated at least once and was constantly threatening to kill himself if she left him. It was fine though because really he loved her but didn't know how to express it.
Year two and he controlled her facebook and phone, and he decided who she could and couldn't talk to. It was romantic though because he just really cared about her.
Year three and he'd cheated at least 4 times and he'd also pretended to kill himself and break up with her multiple times each, after one of which she tried to kill herself.
We had a whole intervention thing while she was in the hospital and she agreed to leave him.
Two weeks later they were back together. He spent $800 on my birthday gift, how could he NOT love me?! Oh yeah and I cant talk to you anymore squeakypop because he says I shouldn't.
She's still with him
FIRST IMPRESSIONS ARE KEY.
The first time we met her was at a bar. My bf and I arrived early, so we found a scrabble board on the game shelf and started playing. When my friend and his SO got there, literally before even introducing herself, the SO looked at our scrabble board and said, "Wow that's a lot of small words. Are you guys stupid?" My BF and I were so stunned that we kinda just ignored the comment. Was she joking???
Anyway, she (unsurprisingly) turned out to be a psychotic ultrab**.
My best friend started to date this girl about a year ago. She was awesome always seemed so nice and was very fun to be around. About 3 months into the relationship and every thing was going great. Then he asked her to move in with him. The day comes to move in and I go over to help move the heavy stuff and low and behold she shows up with a 5 y.o. When he ask who it is she said her son! We were blown away. She never mentioned it, said anything about having a kid.
Her Facebook had 0 pics of her kid, no one mentioned her kid. It was a big cover up and she basically just wanted someone to support her and her kid. He noped outta that one right then and there.
WATCH YOUR BUMP AND GRIND.
The first time I met him was at her birthday party. He shook my hand then proceeded to try and grind on me in front of her and her family. Then when I called him out on it everyone said I was the problem and was just jealous. A year later, it turns out he had been cheating on her continuously and had gotten 2 girls pregnant while dating her.
LAWD. SIMMER DOWN NOW!
The second time we met she cornered me in the bathroom and threatened to cut me if I spoke to her boyfriend again.
ALWAYS HAVE A PHONE PASSCODE.
I had a friend for years. He was an old boyfriend when we were like 15/16. I lost touch, and finally found his number shortly after I got married. We chatted for about 5 minutes on the phone, and I said I would call back when I had more time and we could catch up.
When I called back his then girlfriend answered the phone. She knew who I was, we were all part of the same group. She told me I was never to contact him again, told me he hated me, and she was talking because he didn't even want to talk to me. I just wanted to see how he was, and tell him about my new husband.
A few years after that, they broke up(she cheated). I sent him a message and found out she had done that to most of his friends & family. He was just starting to piece his life back together after she slowly secluded him. He had no clue and thought I just never called him again.
DON'T IGNORE ME!!
When my husband and I were helping them move and he would only speak to or answer my husband. I had an idea of how to move some stuff up the stairs and the guy just blew me off. So I told my husband to casually mention the same damn idea and poof! It was an awesome idea so we had to try it right then and there. This always put her down and she would just take it. In the end HE broke up with her because he felt she wasn't thin/pretty enough for him. Then would get mad at her for trying to move on and tried to sabotage every relationship she tried to have. I ended up ending the friendship because I couldn't stand listening to her complain about how he was treating her and she would keep going back.
IT ALL ADDS UP....
She was super friendly, but I'd catch her looking at me out of the corner of my eye with... not a nasty expression exactly, but not a friendly one either, sort of wary (I'm also a girl) ...
She'd also casually say odd little details when talking about her life that made it seem like she had a pretty skewed idea of relationships and gender roles (she went to an all girl's [boarding] school, and even though she was 24 she was the first of all of her friends to ever have a boyfriend) like saying "it's ridiculous to expect a woman to change a lightbulb on her own haha!" or making out that some things were a big deal in relationships, when they're really not, as if she'd got all her knowledge from rom coms... Just really tiny things that wouldn't be significant on their own, but added all together it really set me on edge.
She ended up going full on psycho and not letting him see any of his friends or do any of the things he enjoyed for two whole years, because she was basically jealous of every single other woman in the world, even his male friends' girlfriends. It took his brother to come round and have good long chat for him to realiZe she was a control freak who was ruining his life - it was a timely escape too, since she was starting to talk about babies.
LEARN TO LET GO.
He was "cuddling" with her when we met and refused to even take his hands off her for one second to shake my hand when I offered it. He just looked at my hand and held her in closer.
She thought it was sweet. I thought it was rude. Turns out he didn't much care for women who he couldn't hold in and he found many such women in the course of the marriage.
This is my wife's best friend's fiance. They've only been dating 8 months and they are already engaged so I think she's still in la la land a bit too much, but we can all see the glaring red flags. He works late often so if she's out with us on a Thursday or Friday, he'll come by and pick her up without her asking and make her leave. He'll do things like you said if we are all out together (rare, he doesn't ever want to come). He's always making her come hang out with his group of friends and she's always blowing us off because of it. Just stuff that she see as quirks but they are total red flags to me.
H/T : REDDIT
You know, I've seen countless "no texting while driving campaigns" and I agree with the premise. I think it is dangerous not to have your eyes on the road. That's how accidents happen. With that said, don't car manufacturers think it's counterintuitive to include touchscreens instead of knobs or dials in new cars these days? You have to take your eyes off the road to adjust anything. I think it's hazardous, especially if you happen to be driving in inclement weather.
After Redditor TheTenthDimension asked the online community, "What's your best example of 'Whoever designed this must not use their own product'?" people shared some suggestions.
"I've personally worked on projects..."<p>Here's a fun one. We just installed a bunch of new Kronos badge readers at work. The type you swipe your ID card to clock in and out. Everyone at work wears a lanyard that is attached at the top middle by a plastic strap, and your badge must always be displayed while at work.</p><p>Anyway when you go to swipe your badge in the new reader the card reader slot is too deep because the lanyard attachment on your badge hits the slot and prevents you from fully swiping your ID so you have to take your ID fully off the lanyard to get it to swipe now.</p><p>I've personally worked on projects at the Kronos headquarters, when I saw this design flaw I was not surprised one bit, between that and the usability of their web portals it seemed pretty par for the course for Kronos.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqn3t0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Brancher</a></p>
"I have a fan..."<p>I have a fan with a bright LED light that shows what setting it's on. Luckily, there's a 'sleep' mode that makes the light dimmer. Except another light comes on to let you know sleep mode is on, and that one is at full brightness. Just... why?</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqpcsw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ArtemisJQ</a></p>
"Engineers must have forgotten..."<p>All TVs without at least the basic controls on the TV. Engineers must have forgotten the possibility of breaking or losing the remote.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqi1tq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">willbeach8890</a></p>
"Straps can stretch out..."<p>BRAS.</p><p>Straps can stretch out during a long day's wear. Whose brilliant idea was it to put the adjusters in the <span style="background-color: initial;">back</span> where you can't see or reach them?</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqlzt3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aphid61</a></p>
"For someone who has a really hard time..."<p>The system to get help with mental health, like anxiety and depression. For someone who has a really hard time with making phone calls, it's tough to get help when every step requires more phone calls and appointments. Not to mention how expensive counseling is.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqsuv0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Ipomoeatricolor</a></p>
"To make matters worse..."<p><span>We got these new pin pads where I work and the slide part for the credit cards is at a 45-degree angle instead of completely sideways or completely up and down. To make matters worse a light illuminates the slide area, but when you're looking at it from the perspective of the customer it makes it look like there's nowhere to slide the card at all due to where the angle of the light hits. I've seen people struggle for thirty seconds trying to find where to slide their cards before I have to show them. Unfortunately, there are some functions where a customer has to slide their card and not insert the chip. The cherry on top is that these pin pads do not have tap to pay or Apple/Samsung pay functionality...</span></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqjbqf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Grand_Corgi</a></p>
"Bathrooms in brand new..."<p>Bathrooms in brand new (and fairly expensive) homes seem to be designed for women by men who have no idea what the majority of women (and some men) really need.</p><ol><li>nice vanities but no real storage.</li><li>walk-in closets that you access through the bathroom, so if one of you is using the toilet, you either walk in on them or wait until they're finished before you can get to the closet.</li><li>beautiful walk-in showers with completely inadequate space for shampoo and etc</li><li>beautiful walk-in showers with nowhere to put your foot when you shave.</li></ol><p><span>Not about the bathroom, but in those walk-in closets, nothing configured for dresses or long coats.</span></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjrm865?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">product52403</a></p>
"The volume control..."<p>The volume control on a car radio should always be a twist knob, not a slider on a screen. There's no way to use a slider without taking your eyes off the road.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjrik9s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">picksandchooses</a></p>
"I can't think of anything more infurating..."<p>McGraw-Hill products.</p><p>I can't think of anything more infuriating and less educational. My teachers use them for absolutely everything.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqsj9w?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SuckMyClock</a></p>
"I once stayed..."<p>I once stayed in a "trendy" "designer" hotel which was clearly designed by someone who had never stayed in a hotel. The only lights were dim as hell mood lighting, and the windows were floor-to-ceiling with blackout blinds but no net curtains, so if you needed to see anything clearly then your only option was to have zero privacy. Never staying there again!</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqf041?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">inflatablefish</a></p>
If only all the things we excelled at were also the very things we loved to do most. But sadly, that is not the way it goes.
Instead, some horrible force of the universe made you way better at, say, sewing the holes of pants than playing guitar. The universe can be a spiteful, fickle jerk.
Art, Forced Upon<p>"Not me but - my friend has taken piano lessons since he was 6 years old and is f***ing amazing at it. But it was much more of a 'parents with high expectations forcing him to take lessons' sort of deal."</p><p>"He hates playing the piano, which is really sad...and his parents kind of suck"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6kydd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SnooMarzipans9028</a></p>
Conditions for Very Good Work Ethic<p>"Cleaning. I f***ing hate it, so when I do it, I make sure not even the smallest stain is left so I can postpone the next session as long as possible." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6mfa5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">avadakabi***</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I have a weird quirk where, when I get sick, I have a compulsion to clean. Its like my brain says 'you are already miserable, you may as well do stuff that you hate so you don't have to be made miserable later, when you are feeling better.'"</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My wife has gotten to the point where she almost looks forward to me getting sick because she knows the house will be spotless by the end of the day." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6p160?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BranWafr</a></p>
The Introvert's Dilemma<p>"Being nice to people. I can be very pleasant if needed, but it's also very draining." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6ktfn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">nomadinlimbo</a><span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"This is me as well! People are so surprised when I tell them that I identify as an introvert."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"People need to understand that being an introvert is not necessarily always about an inability to act naturally in groups, sometimes it's more about how hard that might be. When I've spent time in social situations I feel completely drained afterwards." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6yg6n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DorneForPresident</a></p>
The Debate Goes On<p>"Coding. Never make your favorite hobby your job, kids!" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6nv49?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Mortambulist</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Too late. Turned my hobby into my college major and then into my job. Now I don't like doing it anymore lol." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj7kqs5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SpecialChain</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Eh, or do. Often it works out. I held off going into tech precisely for that reason and did physics instead. Hated it and switched."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I enjoy my job, it happens." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj7fs07?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ApprehensiveSand</a></p>
Can't Decide If Kafka Would Be Proud or Devastated<p>"Bureaucratic red tape type paper work. I guess I am just very good at filling out tons of forms and papers. Also sort of part of my job."</p><p>"I don't like it, but I am very good at it."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6m9x4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BigBearSD</a></p>
The Go-To Friend<p>"I am fantastic at moving furniture, either around the house, or from one home to another. I don't f*** up walls, and I can definitely get that bureau of yours through the doorway."</p><p>"But don't call me and ask me to help you move sh**, I'm busy that day."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6ng58?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">InternetKidsAreMean</a></p>
Bad at Parties<p>"Being analytical. Life would be so much easier if I could turn my brain off and just have a knee jerk emotional reaction to everything like society expects right now."</p><p>"Pro tip: when asked about a current hot topic, 'I'm waiting for the whole story to come out' is not the correct answer."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj705jt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FuerGrisaOstDrauka</a></p>
Doomed to Phone Duty<p>"I'm good at customer service, helping people on the phone, etc. but those jobs are soul sucking black holes" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6r01i?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TheRealOcsiban</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I so feel this. I've had a few customer service jobs, and I was very good at them but I f***ing HATE customers, entitled little sh**s, every last one of them, even the nice ones. Instead of picking up the phone or standing at the desk thinking 'how can I help?' I'd just be thinking 'WHAT do you want NOW?'"</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"But I was good at it, and as I think it's due to me genuinely liking to listen to people's problems and help them (just not in a customer service setting) I decided to retrain as a Psychologist." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj7pach?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Zhylia</a></p>
Hospitality Trumps Laziness, For a Night<p>"Cooking. I only cook for other people (I love throwing parties) but when I'm eating by myself it's takeout, ramen, and frozen meatballs all day. The idea of slaving over a stove for hours when I just want to grab a bowl of canned junk food and go back to watching youtube videos irritates me."</p><blockquote>Cook smarter, not harder<br></blockquote><p>"Still too much work."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6z7fl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ryeshoes</a></p>
The Logical End of the Game<p>"Monopoly, like freakishly good at it. I'll win every game. But people are going to hate me..." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6ohmr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sadpanda___</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My oldest son is like that. No one in the family will play with him anymore." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj753qh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">momtimesthree</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"This is the way. The trick to monopoly is to grind the other players into dust. Slowly. Brutishly. Inevitably."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Then you never have to play the wretched game again and as a bonus you've ruined the game for others. You must do your part to break the cycle of familial abuse that is monopoly." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj7fjh3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">nefariousinnature</a></p>
In a perfect world, family has your back harder than anyone else.
In the real world, it can sometimes be your family that cuts deeper than anyone else. Intentional or not, the people closest to you have the ability to seriously super suck.
No, you're not the only one who has dealt with a mom who just, for the life of themselves, can't NOT be critical. Or a dad who just always seemed chronically underwhelmed by you.
Too Young To Have Problems<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUzMjM3Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NzU4OTQ4Nn0.IS0f7DOIDbguteBysLtbbRK28ICbWY8p6Q7DuQ0H_Yk/img.gif?width=980" id="09640" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="0b52e8847e8a71ba3bd6f885e7e10ac0" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />sad carry on GIF by MasterChef JuniorGiphy<p>As a child (13) i was diagnosed with kidney cancer. </p><p>The news hit me pretty hard because, as a kid that had lost family to cancer, I knew how serious it was. My diagnosis threw me into horrid depression.</p><p>The mother of my step father (so step grandma) laughed at me when the news got to her because "You're too young to have problems so just get over it."</p><p>My mother was flabbergasted. She already hated the woman. Probably a factor in us cutting her completely out of our life once my step father passed - he had already been in the hospital for 2 years at that point and he hated watching the two of them (my mother and his mother) fight. </p><p>My mother sparred telling him for the sake of peace. He died without ever knowing what his mom said. </p><p>I'm still in and out of remission, currently doing good. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhlwlc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">metalicoe</a></p>
"Like You Ruined Mine"<p>When I (a married adult) told my father I was expecting a baby he said: </p><p>"Get an abortion, a kid will ruin your life, like you ruined mine." </p><p>Broke my heart. My kids are the two best things that have ever happened to me and my husband. </p><p>They are adults now and I cannot for the life of me ever understand how a parent could feel the way my father feels, much less understand why he would say such a vile thing. </p><p>It says more about him than me. His loss.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhmzb3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Veganmon</a></p>
Not The Call OP Was Expecting<p>Toxic childhood, my mother had no parenting skills. </p><p>When I was 15 she assaulted me pretty terribly for asking if she would buy groceries because I hadn't eaten in a few days. I moved out the next day and couch surfed for a long time. </p><p>After putting myself through university and getting an advanced honors degree, she called me... to tell me that I'm stuck up and think I'm better than my family.</p><p> I'm doing well now. I have a lovely wife who loves me, a good job even through the pandemic, and I haven't spoken to my family in a long time, which is for the best. </p><p>Still struggling through that for sure (guilt, anger, etc.), but doing alright with it.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhojy7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AwkwardCranberry7</a></p>
Too Ugly, Too Dark<p>My mom wouldn't ever let me go to parties with her and my dad when I was a kid. She brings my sister and little brother though because they have light skin (we're from Asia).</p><p>One day I dressed up and got ready because everyone else did. And then she asked me "Why are you getting ready?" and I asked why "Aren't we going to a party?". She stared at me and told me "No... you're too ugly" in our language.</p><p>I'm 21 now and our relationship has never been the same since. I aged well though thankfully but it still stings whenever I remember it.</p><p>I also remember our most recent fight - I was mad that my sister who graduated college more than 5 years ago now still gets allowance while I, still in school, with full units, with a full scholarship, am working for my own bills and allowance.</p><p>None of my siblings had to work while they're studying. Now she even gets my savings and gets mad at me whenever I ask for it back. </p><p>I know my life's sucky right now but after I'm done with school, I'm planning on going no-contact with everyone and will build my own life and hopefully find people who truly love me.<br></p><p><span></span>Sorry for the rant. It's nice to let out a little sometimes when I can.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhkl3l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">artmxs</a></p>
Not Exactly Worried About A Rapist's Review<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUzMjM3MC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxOTM2ODk0NX0.NMwYKi-EBJ9bpQ0GUjxSNKu3y9KRzGNdk4qeHWrC8H4/img.gif?width=980" id="afb3c" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="67bb89c5864aed944e8e133953536cf1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="444" />cat illustration GIFGiphy<p>I'm a pale woman with dark body hair. My mother saw that I hadn't shaved my legs in a while and said: <br>"You need to shave that hair off, what happen if you get attacked and they rush you to emergency and the doctors have to see that hair?<br>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhunb9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">grindelvvald</a></p>
Beat Me Stupid<p>My dad told me if I didn't change my attitude my future husband would beat me stupid. </p><p>I'm actually married to a very smart and kind man. My father is, and always has been, a piece of sh*t. </p><p>Me always being strong was what made my father hate me even more. He was abusive and would hit us. So this was a common thing he would say to break me down.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhaawj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">postylowkeyokey</a></p>
Too Stupid, Naïve and Immature<p>When I was in middle school I applied for a college training type program. They help you apply, gain knowledge etc while you're still in school. </p><p>On the way to the interview my dad told me he was wasting his money, gas and time on something so ridiculous, because I was too stupid, naïve and immature to ever be accepted into this program, let alone graduate hs or make it to college.</p><p>I spent that entire ride bawling my eyes out, aced that interview, and had my first two years of college paid for. F*ck you dad.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhf1sq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GothSpite</a></p>
What Do You Even Contribute?<p>I (23f) got a notice in the mail saying that my insurance company was lowering my rates on car and rental policies. I told my mom (53) and she said, "rental? What do you even contribute to the house?"</p><p>I'm 23 years old, I'm a medical biller and make a decent salary for someone who has two years experience but not enough to move out yet. When my dad passed away at age 49 from cancer five years ago, I helped my mom a lot by helping her settle my dad's will, help her make financial decisions, cook, clean, signed us up for medical insurance, help my older brother (26) with his and her taxes I also helped him apply for school financial aid. I was a teenager. </p><p>I took time off of work take care of her after two major surgeries because my brother didn't feel "comfortable". I would drive him to places too. We use to share a car and I paid for over $100 a month for gas and he would only give me $20. </p><p>I snapped at my mom because I know if I didn't step up my older brother wouldn't even do anything. I told her everything I did and still do for this family. I don't mind that they rely on me to help them but I'm not going to set myself on fire to keep them warm anymore. </p><p>My mom did apologize and she didn't realize how much I did for her and my older brother. I accept the apology but those words still sting my heart.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhl6qx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Calypos_Luna</a></p>
I Left For A Reason<p>I tracked down my estranged mother a couple years ago after she had been gone from my life since I was 5. When she figured out who I was, her response was: <br>"I don't have a daughter. I left for a reason." </p><p>Then she hung up the phone and I just stood there in my living room trying not to cry. It hurt, but I made it 34 years without her and I have every intention of continuing to do so.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhizb4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">feralhippie</a></p>
She Took My Hand And Said...<p>When I was 9 I adored my older sister (8 years older than me). I just wanted to be like her in every way. </p><p>One day I did something (probably an annoying little sister thing) and she took my hand, led me to my room and told me, "you don't understand how powerful the word hate is yet but you one day will and you should know I hate you. 100% hate you." </p><p>She said it so matter of factly and just walked out. It broke my heart. Changed me from that day forward.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhx4d9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">KaEcold</a></p>
After Mom Died<p>After my mother died, my first cousin's wife told me that I was no longer a member of the family because I was adopted (as an infant, FYI) and the death of my mother severed my membership in the family. I was 41 when she said this to me.</p><p>For an adopted child—at least for me, fear of rejection is an early childhood trauma you can't escape. I had WONDERFUL adoptive parents. </p><p>When she said that to me I half expected them to rise from the grave to defend me. They loved me, I am secure in that. But the knowledge that she felt that way and nobody else shut her down still hurts.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhtkyn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">CartoonistSpecific75</a></p>
Society is an odd conundrum when you attempt to wrap your head around it. This phenomena typically occurs whenever you witness a new trend or share experience and everyone seems to go along with it. Only much later, when you think about it with a bit of critical thinking, do you notice something might be off.
Going against society can be strained, difficult, like pulling back a sticker that's been on way too long, however sometimes it's necessary to get rid of what we probably shouldn't be so welcoming of.