People Who Were Considered The 'Weird' Kid In School Share Their Side Of The Story

Children and adolescents are often completely inept at socializing responsibly.
Unfortunately, certain traits were rewarded and others were not. For example, it's easy to interpret loud energy as confidence and humor.
But some kids just didn't have loudness in them.
But in that high school ecosystem, that's no mere attribute.
It's grounds for ridicule.
Redditor blossomb1tch__ asked:
"People who were the 'Weird' or 'Quiet' kids in high school, what's your side of the story?"
From Quiet to Manic
"I had undiagnosed mental illnesses and no mental health support system" -- stealtoadboots
"Same. In my case I was the weird quiet kid in elementary school. From Kindergarten to about halfway through 5th grade, I suffered from selective mutism in school, mixed with severe depression."
"Part way through 5th grade I started to talk in school, but continued to suffer from severe and debilitating depression until freshman year of high school. By high school I wasn't the quiet kid in school anymore."
"At that point Bipolar I made its grand appearance, and, while mania may have made me weird, it did not make me quiet. Didn't actually get diagnosed until I was in my late 30s. Everything made a lot more sense after that." -- librarymania
Hard to Relate When You’re So Far Away
"I had undiagnosed inattentive ADHD so my head was in the clouds more often than not." -- coronaslayer
"Undiagnosed ADHD-PI + social anxiety (almost certainly caused by social rejection by peers in K-8)."
"Not fun. And not recognized until I was in college." -- PyroDesu
"I have ADHD as well :) It was tough at first but I've learned to embrace it to an extent. It's never too bad to live in the clouds, as the ground sucks sometimes. I hope you're doing well <3" -- blossomb1tch__
A Pivotal Discovery
"Had Autism, didn't know." -- [deleted]
"It's not very specific and there are loads of varying symptoms. Why it's called a spectrum."
"But biggest indicators for me at least were strong, unusual obsessions. As in I would get extremely obsessed over a topic that there's no reason to be obsessed about. Some other indicators are trouble making friends or maintaining relationships."
"Sensitive to bright lights and sounds. Stimming (fidgeting). OCD tendencies. Often people get frustrated or irritated with you about your behavior or things you might have said, but you have no idea why they are."
"And the biggest indicator is if you think you might be autistic, you probably are." -- drewisawesome14
Tremors and Tiredness
"Secretly and unknowingly suffering from severe anxiety and depression mixed with a little insomnia to boot." -- perspicacity-404
"Lol I have social anxiety and insomnia, (my sleep schedule is very irregular) for the last two days I didn't sleep and my anxiety was on the top of mount Everest..."
"...I just got a full nights sleep yesterday and the amount of confidence I had today was unbelievable." -- Dry_Ad_7848
Others highlighted an important dynamic.
These Redditors explained sometimes the alienated kid was originally not very different from anyone else.
But one quirk can snowball.
Chicken-Egg
"It's a downward spiral. You get picked on a few times, and don't take it well. After a while you learn to not draw attention to yourself by being quiet and withdrawing. When you withdraw, you internalise more, which isn't necessarily healthy."
-- AlterEdward
A Last Ditch Effort
"I guess I'll share my side. I was frequently seen as weird and bullied for wearing pajamas and not looking put together during school, and just being an awkward kid with poor social skills."
"The reality was my home life wasn't that great, I had undiagnosed anxiety, and I was doing the bare minimum of showing up so people wouldn't think I was dead."
"When I made valentines letters for my class one year I got teased for trying to be nice and it only hurt my reputation more. This made me scared to talk to my peers, emotional and 'quiet.' "
"Thank god I graduated."
-- blossomb1tch__
Laying Low
"I thought everyone hated me, so I stopped talking to people because I didn't want to bother them." -- biaforeverwar
"If complete strangers (aka kids not even in my class) are spending a disturbing amount of time making fun of you, you tend to think that everybody hates you."
"Source: me." -- shf500
And a few didn’t see their quietness as a problem at all.
They dispassionately noticed their uniqueness, and that was that.
Nothing To Speak Of
"There's not much of a story. I just didn't feel the need to talk as much as other people." -- Asriel92
"I never knew how people could think up new things to talk about every day. I've never had the knack. Plus, I was so nervous of saying the wrong thing." -- BringBackRobotWars
"Yes agreed. I felt a lot of people talked for the sake of saying something but it was nothing of substance." -- toast_with_butt
Eyes on the Prize
"I wanted to go to medical school. I knew I wanted this since I was 6. I was not going to do anything to jeopardize my dreams, so I didn't do anything the other kids did."
"I didn't go drinking at the high school parties. I never did any drugs. I was a good kid."
"The few times I got sent to the principals' office, I was laughed at and sent back to class with no punishment. I caught hell for being a 'goody-two-shoes.' "
"What am I now? I'm a doctor."
-- angmarsilar
Little Overlap
"I had nothing in common with the people at my school with the exception of 2 friends. I wasn't into anything that my peers were into or that they felt was important."
"Nothing has changed really."
-- you_are_marvelous
100% true
"This might sound pathetic or possibly creepy but sometimes I felt closer to those people than I actually was. Like I had a small group of friends of course, but I loved observing everyone. And then when they would talk to me the reality would hit me that these people really didn’t pay attention to me at all. I felt acquainted with them and they sometimes wouldn’t even know my name. It made me feel like a slight creep."
"I wish I could say I hated everyone like most of the other people commenting but honestly I was just too socially awkward to really put myself out there. I didn’t care too much for most of the people, but I still wanted to be known by them at least. I’m not torn up over it anymore tbh, it’s amazing how little I think about these people now that I’ve graduated. It’s 100% true what people say about none of it mattering." -- danger_slug
Understandings
"High functioning autism. I didn't understand social cues or knew how to make friends.I sure as hell wasn't quiet but I was pretty damn weird. Still managed to make friends though." -- Fallowsong
Belonging
"I was definitely weird, but not quiet. I was like outlier popular. I hung around with all the groups, but didn't 'belong' anywhere. Super lonely till my junior year when I got a car and could come and go as I pleased. I just didn't give a shit about the small stuff. So when people were all into prom queen/king, homecoming court, competing socially, I just wanted to smoke pot and hang out. I still don't sweat the small stuff, which works great in most circles but I have to put on my inner jock hat in corporate situations." -- combustablegoeduck
Home Life
"I was abused by my family and going to school was an escape from them, only to be attacked by bullies. I eventually learned if I didn't say anything, people wouldn't notice me as much, so I just tried to keep to myself and our small friend group as much as possible. I'm still trying to learn how to meet new people as an adult but I just don't see the point anymore." -- TheGamerHat
This is Me
"Still am the weirdo in the bunch! As a kid I was just labeled a nerd. I had horrible social skills. Now my skills are much better but I still don't pick up on cues like everybody else does so folks find me pretty annoying sometimes. I'm able to confirm.those feelings for them and admit that I'm annoying and it seems to break the ice. It has been like this for as long as I can remember." -- marti924
Secrets
"I was a super nerd. Teachers didn't know what to do with me and if I answered questions in class the other kids would get mad or the teacher would say I know you know how about a regular student answer my question. By saying that the teacher made me the victim of bullying. I had medical issues so I was super thin and petite. I was abused at home in every way you can almost imagine so I wore long skirts, dresses and sleeves to hide the bruises and the scabs from where my flesh was tore open from the beatings."
"My family thought I was a know it all so I got mistreated. I was bullied from elementary all the way through high school by family and other school kids. Oh many teachers thought I was a cheater because they didn't think a Latina could be as smart as I was." -- WickedMags
I'm doing fine.
"I felt like a misfit and thought no one liked me. Just wanted to go somewhere else. I was much happier in college, where I met more of my type of people, or people who were more open to accepting other people as they were, and had a lot of fun. After college, I met people at work that I had a lot in common with, so I still had a robust social life for an introvert."
"Now, in my 40s, most of my friends are busy with their kids and spouses and I spend most of my time alone again. I'd much rather be alone than be surrounded by people and feel alone. I'm pretty good company for myself and stay busy with work and hobbies. I'm doing fine." -- FranzLuciferdinand
"for me"
"I was screamed at by my mother every day and told no one would ever like me, in-between being screamed at to make her tea while trying to study for school. Long story short, I grew up believing no one liked me and anything that might be perceived as 'for me' like studying was bad - I grew up being told I was selfish and awful. Still can't focus worth shit bc I'm always looking over my shoulder, but at least I no longer believe everyone hates me. People are at worst impartial. That's pretty liberating." -- Popcorn_panic1
"the cool kids"
"I was weird but I knew it. And the only reason I was considered 'weird' was because i was myself and I didn't try to imitate 'the cool kids' and because I was me, I ended up being liked by everyone, even the 'cool kids.' I was called weird, authentic, goofball, dumb, a good listener. But I owned up to who I was. I never denied it." -- Madogg90
The Natural
"I am naturally outgoing. That said I grew up in a very religious household, and by the time I got to High School my parents were getting divorced. I didn’t begin to develop socially until I was finishing college." -- Southside_Burd
Mind my business...
"Everyone already had their friend groups locked in, I’d try to be a part of one but I’d get ignored, so I just minded my own business. I had friends up until middle school, and then suddenly it was like I was forgotten about. I just learned to accept that nobody cared about my existence. Then I’d get made fun of for not having great social skills whenever I had to talk." -- SadBeans82
I'm sure if you look back on your time at school you'll remember at least a couple kids just like this.
Or perhaps you were the quiet kid.
Either way, now you likely know a little bit more of the untold story behind it all
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People Who Make More Money From Their Side Hustles Than Their Day Jobs Share Their Experiences
In this day and age, it's not uncommon for people to have a side gig -- an extra job as a way to make more money -- aside from their regular 9 to 5.
It's also not super uncommon for some of these people to find that their side gig can -- and sometimes does -- pay them more than their 9 to 5.
My best friend is a brilliant journalist by trade, but he makes way more money by freelance editing than he does as at the paper he writes for. Freelance editing is a side gig, however. He doesn't do it all the time, and yet makes enough to pay his monthly rent just by doing one freelance job!
Redditors have discovered other side gigs that pay them more than their regular 9 to 5, and are ready to share their experidnces.
It all started when Redditor DonkKinnis asked:
"People that actually found a side hustle that makes more than your 9-5, what was it?"
I Need A Weapon
"Making swords, it started as a hobby - like let's see where we can take it. It is now a company with 15 guys employed, and 1,500+ swords a year. Best job ever"
– Charming_Height_6944
"You’re living my husbands dream. He would love to forge swords as a hobby. If you feel so inclined, can you message me with info on your starter setup? It’s my goal to surprise him someday with a fully functioning beginner forge, but I have no idea where to start"
– _StaRrFoxX_
"Lucky for you guys England and France are at war. Business must be booming."
– Tudpool
Happy And Healthy
"I was a therapist for 5 years in acute inpatient psych, and I burned out HARD. From awful pay, zero security, staff getting cut but workload increasing, and the work culture being one of “suffering Olympics” where you’d see who can work the most on the least sleep, it was inhumane."
"In the last 2 years, I turned my photography hobby into a successful business! I shoot weddings, elopements, couples’/family sessions, you name it. I work much less and make much more, plus the second hand dopamine is fantastic for my own mental health."
– LimitedGenius
"Me, working inpatient psych as a nurse, studying this thread like my life depends on it."
– Addwon
Knickknacks
"I sculpt miniatures for 3D printing, RPG, DnD etc. I make roughly triple what I was doing at a previous ''real'' entry job."
– CougarJo
Just Whistle While You Work
"Cleaning houses makes pretty good money. It's surprising how much people will pay you to just come in once a week and do a little cleaning."
– Sprinkle_drama
"My dad told me once of a acquaintances wife who started a cleaning business. Not by hour but charged for the task. Floors swept and mopped was $xx dishes done and benches wiped $xx carpets vaccumed $xx bathroom cleaned $xx toilet $xx. It worked brilliantly esp for young busy working men. Having set prices for set tasks was easier for them to get their heads around than 3-4 hours cleaning. She did very very well out of it"
– SupTheChalice
Flowers DO Cost A Fortune!
"Wedding Florist. Quit the 9-5 last year!"
– _adsbygoogle
FOOD!!
"I sell brownies on delivery apps"
– andydessa
"There is a kid who did this with frozen pizzas from his apartment on YouTube."
– Elegant_Housing_For
"This is f-ing brilliant."
– HappyPixie
I Want One!
"I sew stuffed animals, quilts and sometimes children’s clothing. I use to work in a nearby hospital working with Covid patients and Covid samples. I can make my old paycheck in a day if I spend the entire day working."
– YrsaAse
Should I Be Scared?
"Building killer stereo systems I’ve also have been building patio chairs really just making stuff if you can make it but make it well and take pride in your craftsmanship there’s a market for it"
– Bass_head_thomas
"Read this too fast and thought it said “serial killer system” and I was very confused and slightly worried for a moment."
– Infinity9999x
A New Idea Is A Good Idea
"I’m a software engineer. I had a coworker who was into bowling and couldn’t find an app he liked to track his stats, so he wrote one himself after using it, his friends started asking if he could give it to them. He put it on the App Store. Within a year close to half his income was coming from his app selling."
"He tried to repeat his success a few times, but none of his other apps ever caught on."
– dring157
Didn't Even Know This Was A Thing
"Secret shopper."
"So technically I don’t have a 9-5 cause I’m a student, but it’s still a VERY well paying hustle."
"Essentially all I do I drive around the city, go to random stores, buy a lottery ticket, see if they ask for ID, and leave. Then I fill out some paperwork, and I’m done."
"They compensate full gas charge, and give roughly 30$ per store. I can easily do 20 stores in a day. The problem is once all the stores are done, I can’t check anymore."
– Mattrockj
Very Entrepreneurial
"I'm the unofficial tech guy for a pretty large retirement community. It started by me setting up a dvd player for my grandma, she started telling her neighbors and now one day a week I go by and will spend the day doing minor stuff for tech illiterate people. Half the time it replacing batteries, allot of the residence are given computers their kids or grand kids that ill set up for them. I charge next to nothing, but usually will ask for the old tech if im replacing something which i refurbish and sell. Alot of people buy their grandma new mac book every 2 years that are barely used, then given to me."
– handsthefram
Fun, Fun, Fun
"I became an Uber driver and make over 10k a month these days. Really enjoying it too."
– Alexanderdaw
Music Ties It Together
"I started a wedding DJ business and found people were willing to pay a premium for a non-cheesy DJ who doesnt make the night or party about them. Even though I only worked Friday-Sat-Sundays due to weddings mostly being held on these days, I was making 2x my 9-5 job."
– JamesKPolk130
"This day and age it does make sense to do this. Invest in a good sound system. Invest in a decent light setup. Be sure to have a wi-fi connection at the venue so if someone requests a song you can easily download it. Watch people have a great time"
– chxnkybxtfxnky
The Universe At Work
"I left my job in publishing and performed the same functions on a freelance basis for about two years."
"I made only about 5-10 percent less gross. Once you factor in my lack of commute to Manhattan, not havimg to buy clothing for work, not getting lunch out, etc., net was only single digits less."
"It was also cool because every so often the universe would toss me a random extra day off. That was hard to give up."
– AlanMercer
Check And Mate
"I make custom chess board sets for professional chess players."
– Magnetic_penis_strap
I understand. I would pay big money for one of those!
Do you have a side hustle we should know about? Let us know in the comments.
Let's be honest: men and women are different, and even that statement is pretty diminutive of the truth.
Men and women feel things differently. They think about things differently and go through different things. Their experiences and knowledge base are different.
Sometimes, this means men and women don't understand each other very well. The best way to solve a mystery is to ask a question, but men sometimes feel nervous about doing so. They don't want to offend women by getting too personal, and they don't know how else to proceed.
That's why it's a good thing Reddit exists. Men have finally asked their questions, and women have answered!
It all started when Redditor Asking35 asked:
“Men, what is something about women you are curious about but too afraid to ask?"
Perfect Nest
"What’s with all the pillows?"
– Canucker5000
"They make this glorious nest so I can sleep on my side without my hips tightening overnight, support behind my back and shoulders, support against my boobs, good positioning for my arms and legs, etc..."
"It's wonderfully comfy and cozy."
– ISwearIUsedToBeSmart
Health Is Hard
"Why do you steal my food"
– SleepingAddict21
"You left it unguarded lol"
– Blondy85019
""I'll have the 'My wife's not hungry". It comes with French fries, onion rings, and chicken nuggets."
– warda8825
"omg I've been waiting for the opportunity to answer this!"
"I don't know about other women, but for me it's because my husband isn't as health conscious about what he eats as I am. And I know that doesn't make sense at first but hear me out..."
"I don't have the same metabolism as my husband and have to monitor what I eat not to gain weight, which I don't like doing cuz it makes my back hurt. The problem is, my husband constantly brings home junk food or take out. He'll always ask if I want something from taco bell or Wendys or something and I'll say no because I genuinely don't want him to bring me any cuz I'm trying to be healthy. But it's always wishful thinking because as soon as he comes home and I catch a whiff of those McDonald's fries I literally can't resist eating some. Or when we're on the couch and he's munching on a cheesy taco, my salad start to look less appetizing and I find myself just staring at his food."
"This never happened when I lived alone because I would just buy healthy groceries so there wouldn't be any junk food at home tempting me with their seductive amazingness. And when I eat out alone I just order something healthy and there's nobody there tempting me with their delicious plate of nachos."
"So yeah to sum it up it's basically just me wishing to eat healthy but then not having any self control when my partner indulges in junk food in front of me."
"Any guys out there, if you want to test if your girl is doing the same thing, try eating healthier and see if she tries to steal your bowl of brown rice with veggies the same as she steels your fries. If she has no problem leaving your food alone when you eat healthier, then maybe stop eating junk food in front of her lol. Or continue, but just expect that she is not going to want to order whole meal but is going to have trouble resisting a couple fries when the smell hits her."
– koolaid-girl-40
Confidence Is Key
"Do you actually like it when a man approaches you with the intention of asking you on a date? I don't mean catcalling and that sort of weird sh*t, just being genuine and straightforward."
– PastOrdinary
"Depends on the situation. And talk to/get to know me first."
"Also, if I say “no” don’t persist."
– mercfan3
"Depends a little on how. If it's someone I've already met a couple of times, like a colleague/fellow student or friend of a friend, I don't mind if he is forward and asks me out - that confidence is attractive, and something I'd envy him, lol."
"If its someone I don't know or just met I prefer if he gives me his contact information rather than asking for mine. I'll most likely say no if it is the latter."
"Something simple like, "Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you and would like to go out sometime to get to know you better. Here's my number". That puts me less on the spot and if he's not my type there won't be the awkwardness of immediate rejection."
"But that's just me."
– Mugwumpen
Be Honest
"Do you admire a guy after he chooses to be vulnerable and bare it all in front of you?"
– awara_bakchod
"Yes. Personally, I have a hard time opening up and just talking about my feelings in general. Whenever my husband does, it makes me feel like I’m doing something right."
– asiazoldyck
Sending A Message
"Why do they all put their hand on their man’s stomach for photos?"
– RojoandWhite
"We want to make sure whomever is looking at the pic to know this is my romantic partner, not my friend."
– KathTurner
"Mine, that’s why."
– Jelly-Unhappy
Monthly Visitor
"Is there a calendar function to the menstrual cycle that you guys have memorized? Like does it happen some time on X number week of the month or is it much more systematic and occurs every 30/31 days?"
– TheGamingNerd80085
"First of all, the period is the first 5-7 days of the menstrual cycle. The menstrual cycle is 28-35 days long."
"Everyone is different. Some people it’s every 28 days on the dot exactly, other people it’s “oh it’ll happen sometime this week” and some people it can vary massively. The average is every 28 days but a normal (normal meaning not to be concerned about) is 28-35 days. And then some people do not have a regular cycle, I myself have had it go from 32 - 52 days in the last year."
"Your period happens 12-14 days after you ovulate, which happens on day 12-14 in a 28 day menstrual cycle. The time in between is called the luteal phase. Then your period starts, and the cycle starts over on day 1."
– anchordwn
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
"Hmm, well I've always wondered why women need an entire Sephora store's worth of makeup just to go to the grocery store. But I'm pretty sure if I ask that question out loud, I'll get hit with a mascara wand. So I'll just keep wondering in silence."
– Extension-Release558
"I’ll gladly answer this without throwing anything at you!😂 Make-up is fun; it really is that simple for a lot of us. That’s along with wanting to look our best, which in turn makes us feel our best."
– Maleficent_Tie4767
I Don't Get Cold...Sort Of
"How are y’all not freezing when you wear dresses to the club in winter"
– adz568
"We are. We’re just tougher than men ;)"
– bigkitty17
"It’s not that we aren’t cold most times, it’s that we are taught by society in general that we have to ignore our own comfort for other people."
– tweetybirdlover
It's Mine Now
"Why do you take our hoodies and never give them back?"
– HumpieDouglas
"Because they smell good and they're comfy :)"
– SelphiesSmile
Everyone's Different
"what part of the male body are you attracted to"
– Tonton1605
"Hands that are well kept and groomed finger nails, nice eyebrows and eyes"
– P0pCandie
"I personally like a nicely trimmed beard. Scraggly beards look horrible IMO."
– kaydaugherty423
"Biceps."
– the-Lady-Lazarus
Hear Me Coming
"Do y'all ever wear heels just to hear the clip-clopping of them on the pavement like you're the main character in a movie? Because that's what I'd do if I wore heels, and I wish to know if there's a woman out there whose brain is on my wavelength or if this is just me."
– VoidChickenFan
"Yup. but the feeling is stronger when walking in a fancy building"
– RominaRaBer
"I choose my heels by a) how they look b) how they sound. If they are quiet, I don’t usually get them."
– notgonnasext
Exactly! What's the point of quiet heels?
Thanks to the ladies of Reddit for sharing their responses to some of these Redditor's questions.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
I've never dated someone older.
Just hasn't happened.
I'm not averse to it, but I'd feel more comfortable with someone closer in age.
I hear there are a ton of benefits, though.
Learning. Growing. Sharing.
It can be comforting to be with someone who has navigated life in certain ways already.
Redditor hotmomkaia asked:
"Men of Reddit! What are the advantages of dating an older woman?"
The Reddit community opened up about their dating experiences.
Randy
"I've dated some older women who were frisky as hell."
uncultured_swine2099
"My girlfriend is only a few years older than me, but she is BY FAR the horniest I've been with."
Phantom579
Talk 2 Me
"The communication. An older woman that can communicate well will cut through the bulls**t and get straight to what she wants and expects. It’s refreshing as hell."
Fresh-Grab-8005
"Yeah agree. My GF and I are both in our late 50s. Had a long talk on the phone last night and spent some time talking about potential issues between us. Both of us have come out of long and not particularly pleasant marriages."
"We each have low maintenance adult kids. We both have our own places so we don't have to be in each other's space all the time. We are both financially secure so if we want to spend money on some together time then we just do it. I wouldn't have it any other way."
michaelrohansmith
Swoon
"Older women play less mind games than younger women do. They're more straight up, and often know what they want. The difference between an older woman flirting and a younger woman flirting, in my experience, is night and day."
"Younger woman flirting: 'Hey I like your hair, can I touch it?' Older women flirting: 'I am absolutely swooning over you. If I wasn't married, you'd be with me tonight.'"
-lighght-
Basics
"I've been with a few older women, I have also dated women of a closer age. In my personal experience I will say that older women communicate much more, don't have unrealistic standards, they have a lot more experience both in life and the bedroom. The biggest one of all is that older women are just super hot! Is there anything I've missed?"
MuscleMummy
Eat Up
"She knows where/what she wants to eat."
MalibK
"Right, but she still won’t tell you."
QuintShahkHuntah
The food argument has been the downfall of many a couple. Just pick a place!
She Knows
"Maturity. It’s night and day. Most older women actually have their lives together and don’t play the childish game of validation."
Cactus_Pear94
Back then...
"When I was 18 I dated a 28 year old for about a year. I wasn't a virgin, but my experience up until then was just awkward teenage sexual stuff. She taught me the value of the non-sex parts of a sexual relationship. How to listen and learn what your partner enjoys and how to communicate what you enjoy. She helped mature my views on relationships, foreplay and sex in ways that someone my age wouldn't have been able to."
Nythoren
Love It
"I’m not dating an older woman but I am in a sexual friendship with a 49 year old mom (we have an agreement that the sex will stop but the friendship will continue if either of us get in a serious relationship). She is extremely good at responding to text messages and being on time. She even apologized for being five minutes late one time. I love this about her because most people I know can’t freaking answer their phone."
beefstewforyou
Forever
"Depends what you are after but I found that there was less pressure of 'is this going to be long term' as you both have realistic expectations up front and know that will not change. Generally because of that, I found there was never any drama and just honest conversations. With one, she would actually talk about what sort of woman she saw me ending up with one day. No jealousy, just an understanding that we were enjoying each other's company for now."
Working_Turn_6625
Helping Me
"I'm not dating an older woman, mainly because I'm married to one."
"She is 5 years older than me, but it sometimes seems like a much bigger gap when you account for maturity level."
"She's actually helped me do a better job of understanding and managing my emotions, which is nice."
Issueless
"Perhaps more confidence, steadiness, realism, honesty to themselves and others, fewer illusions and less sensitivity to influence. All just generalisations from my own experience. I don't have mommy issues or anything but I feel more comfortable and equal with slightly older women. I know myself pretty well, I'm pretty independent and I'm not being pushed either."
collective_artifice
Love who you love.
Age is only a number.
Do you have any experiences or lessons to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Sex and love.
The heart, the brain, and the body can fall into a "love daze."
Maybe because we've been taught to place too much importance on these matters.
Life can be very fulfilling with love and very complete without them.
But Reddit had a few things to say about dispelling some common misconceptions.
Redditor These-Froyo2242 asked:
"What are some misconceptions about sex or relationships that many people believe?"
Love and sex are misconceptions in general.
Not a Fix
"That your relationship problems or lack of sex gets better when you get married. LOL."
"Or have a child! Yeah cause the incredibly hard task of keeping a tiny human alive will most def help a failing relationship!"
fookinmessss
It's Sad
"Getting a girlfriend will not automatically make your depression and self hatred magically disappear."
Road_Ok
"At the time I didn't know I had chronic depression so I was confused too. When puberty started my happiness was gone. I had no friends so I thought friends would fix me."
"I got amazing friends and even if I had wonderful adventures with them when I was home alone I cried every time. Then started to think I just needed a gf... And when I had one, the most amazing girl in the world I still felt empty and sad. She suffered a lot because she noticed my struggle and I was an idiot. She left me without knowing how much I loved her."
DrDeadwish
Not Typical
"That you won't ever have a fight or argument, that it's easy peasy lemon squeezy."
MadamePurples
"Yes, but how you disagree matters a lot. Arguments should not devolve into name calling, extended shouting matches, or berating, and it's GOOD to take breaks to calm down/regulate if you're upset. And if one partner is regularly berating the other it's a really really bad thing and not a 'typical argument.'"
femNms
Know Boundaries
"That you have to put up with bulls**t just because it's a relationship. People seem to think it's normal to put up with someone giving you grief just because you're going out with them. Don't put up with behavior in relationships that you wouldn't expect from a best friend."
judochop1
"To an extent. I think relationships are more complex than that. It can bring out a different side of you when it's a life partner that you feel you need to trust and count on and vice versa. What matters is that you both acknowledge faults, issues and work through them together to improve."
Willing_Archer
Unhealthy
"Drama = passion. That's unhealthy. Be happy in contentment."
chewie8291
"I always hated that the TV show New Girl fell into this trap. They put the main character into the healthiest relationship she has in the whole show then... she dumps him because they never fight? Yeah that's a healthy message to the audience."
thatwasntababyruth
Don't use movie and TV love as a blueprint.
Be You
"That how my partner sees or treats me is a reflection of how desirable or lovable I am. Nah. If someone doesn't appreciate you or isn't attracted to you, that's about them. Don't change yourself for other people. Be your own person. Love yourself."
picsystix
Closer
"Sex should be fun and natural, and it's ok and not a problem if your partner, says not tonight I'm knackered from work. They still want you they still want to be with you. They are just tired from work, but people get too hung about sex in a relationship. Yes it's definitely a huge part of the closeness in a relationship, but your relationship shouldn't be defined on sex alone."
nickmasonsdrumstick
Team Efforts
"If you are just in it for your own pleasure, it’s gonna be bad sex. Sex is a team sport."
Substantial-Stand744
"Say it louder for the people in the back please. Last person i was with wanted to do it all the time, but I didn't always have the same energy. he started complaining about me not putting in the effort and I'm like... we just screwed 4 hours ago idk what you expect."
sage_vex
Mutuals
"Also, as a woman, that being desirable is the ultimate goal for a healthy and pleasing sex life. My sexual experience is so much more than my body and it's appearance/desirability. Sex should be mutually pleasing. As women, I think we are fed a lot of crap about what being sexy means. It's good to unpack all of that and ask yourself what YOU want."
picsystix
Like A...
"It's okay to be a virgin. It should not be stigmatized."
gik323
"Absolutely. For years I thought I was broken because I was a virgin in my mid 20s. When I finally lost it when I was 28, I wondered why everyone made such a big deal about it."
EchoedJolts
All Sizes Welcome
"It’s okay to be average sized in the pants. Many women have said they prefer average."
RathGodofWar
"Penis size and confirmation gets talked about all the time, but there’s also a lot of variation in labial and vaginal size and conformation. Physical sexual compatibility relies a lot on how those sizes relate and to be honest the rest of your anatomy and preferred sexual positions also tie in to it."
WyrdHarper
There's quite a lot to unpack here! It seems that open honest communication between partners is best.
Do you have any wisdom to share? Let us know in the comments below.