Reddit user ClassicJogging asked: 'Married people of reddit, what made you decide to get the engagement ring you did, and how much was it?'
With the elaborate costs of the wedding industry, starting with the engagement ring and going all the way up through the honeymoon and anniversary plans, there are those who will spend all the money and those who will look for savings.
While getting married is absolutely worth spending the money on, how much money is spent is not necessarily reflected of how much the two people love each other, either. It's all up to the couple!
Redditor ClassicJogging asked:
"Married people of Reddit, what made you decide to get the engagement ring you did, and how much was it?"
A Special Bond
"My grandmother pulled me aside five minutes after meeting my now wife, then girlfriend, for the first time, that she really loved her and she would fit right into our family. They had a REALLY good bond for a couple of years before my grandmother passed."
"Her last wish was that I use her engagement ring from 1945 (my grandfather proposed the day the Germans left Norway) when I asked for marriage. I did, she said yes, and we have been happily married for a good few years now."
"I was asked if I wanted a ring... and I surprised myself by saying that I did even though I'm not a jewelry person."
"So we went shopping and I hated all the jewelry store rings. We decided to check out antique stores and we found a cool-looking '50s vintage diamond ring with an illusion setting (makes tiny stone look bigger). It fit. It was $300. It was perfect."
"I love vintage rings, specifically art deco style, and had a whole Pinterest board of ones I loved. But it turns out I have giant fingers and most vintage rings are much smaller. Yes, you can size up, but only by so much."
"So my now husband surprised me by getting a ring custom-made in the same style. I adore it and get so many compliments."
A Last Wish
"My mother was dying of cancer and gave me her engagement ring to give to my wife. It was a low-profile diamond from 1965. I think my father paid $275 for it at Eaton’s."
"We just celebrated our 25th last week. She still wears it daily."
Full of Memories
"$140, I wanted a more expensive ring for her, but she insisted that I use that money for the wedding."
"I ended up going with a silver ring that looks like the branches of a tree, it has one large amethyst in the middle and two smaller ones in the branches to the side."
"When I saw it, it immediately reminded me of the date we went on when I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her."
"We got up early to go to an orchard that was a little while away, the whole ride, she was talking about how frustrated she was with work and I was so happy to be listening to her talk and to spend time with her. We spent all day at the orchard, we got lunch at the farmer's market, went on a hayride, went to a petting zoo, and we picked pumpkins then picked apples as the sun was just starting to get low."
"From there, we went a haunted trail on a ski trail that took us up the hill in a ski lift and we had to walk down. As we went up the hill, we got the most amazing view of the sunset and I knew had found my better half, because I couldn't even imagine anyone else that I would want to watch the sunset with."
"My wife is a chemist and agronomist. She was working on her master's in agronomy and part of her thesis project had to do with cobalt and molybdenum."
"So I got her a cobalt chrome engagement ring (which happens to also be 6% molybdenum). For the stone, I went with a manufactured sapphire, because science."
"She absolutely loves it. Cost me less than $300."
"I worked for the jeweler store. I had about a steep discount. I chose five options and let him pick from there since I had to technically buy it. He picked my favorite."
"It is a one-carat ruby set in rose gold, and I love it. Retail it would be around $5000, but for me, it was $900."
"I wanted a ruby as I did not want a diamond, and I am a big history buff."
A Good Listener
"My Fiancé remembered that in Freshman year of college, I mentioned I would only take a lab diamond (clear or black), and my dream ring had a specific gemstone on either side of the main stone."
"Fall 2018 to December 2022 and he remembered every detail. From one conversation. He is a blessing and I love my ring."
"I couldn’t afford an engagement ring when we got married. It’s been a few years and now I can, so I’m working on a custom ring with a local jeweler we’ve worked with a bunch already. The concept is a subtle subversion of traditional engagement ring tropes and will cost around a grand USD."
Groceries > Rings
"She gave me pictures of a few rings she wanted. All sapphires, no diamonds. I got one of those for $120. Probably worth in the $200 range today."
"She specifically did not want the 'two months' salary' standard. She would refuse a ring that was expensive enough that somebody would be willing to cut off her hand in order to steal it."
Important Family Heirlooms
"It was my grandmother's and it was awesome and it was free and she loved it."
"Grandma's club checking in. I was having sort of a deep philosophical moment with this question about how I guess it technically cost me my grandma. But then I had a burrito."
Worth the Pricetag
"Love the shaming on this thread for anyone who spent more than $24.99 on a ring."
"$18k because it’s the only expensive thing she’s ever asked me for and it makes her happy every single day. One year interest-free financing softened the financial blow considerably."
"To each their own! Don’t shame people for spending their money how they choose on the ones they love!"
Yay for Pinterest Boards
"My wife had a bunch of floral style rings on her Pinterest page, so I went and got one custom designed from a local jeweler."
"They suggested Moissanite (synthetic diamond) to keep costs down and appearance up. I got three times the stone for half the price of a real diamond. Well worth it. Total ran about 3k for the engagement ring."
"I chose the shape of the stone, he chose the actual diamond (size, quality, etc), and then we went shopping together to choose the setting."
"It was a lovely experience! I got a ring I love which I will wear forever and he got to control the situation and feel comfortable with a large component of the cost to keep within his budget."
"My wife liked it. 15k."
"All the top voted answers are just cheap rings or inheritance. So I am glad someone posted something else. Although maybe there is something below but Reddit might just upvote certain answers more."
"Dude. Finally a comment in here I can relate to."
"My wife liked it. 12k."
"No hate to the lab-grown, or the many blue and yellow special stones in this thread. But d**n, it makes it sound like the norm! In my experience and my friends' circles…. It’s just diamonds from the jewelry store lol (laughing out loud)."
This thread was a great example of "to each their own." Where some will want an expensive ring, others will want something incredibly simple, just like some will want an extravagant wedding whereas others will want to go to the courthouse and have a nice dinner after.
These decisions don't make one couple or one marriage or one love better than the other. They simply reflect that they're different partnerships, and as long as both people are happy, who cares how anyone else would handle it?
Reddit user aloe_veracity asked: 'What is the worst possible way to propose?'
From our friends and families' own cringy stories, to the tales captured on social media, we've all witnessed our fair share of proposals that totally missed the mark or were just plain awkward.
In fact, most of us have come across so many of these stories, we all have an idea of what the worst proposal in the world would be.
Redditor aloe_veracity asked:
"What is the worst possible way to propose?"
Stealing the Spotlight
"At someone else's wedding or wedding reception."
"I had to stop my friend from doing that. One of the nicest dudes ever, just a little naive."
"Fortunately, this was before the wedding, I didn’t slap the ring out of his hand or anything like that. I just very clearly told him it was a bad idea whilst at the pub."
Clearly a Subplot from 'Grey's Anatomy'
"Arrange a fancy date night with your girlfriend, including dinner at a posh restaurant."
"In the middle of the meal, fake a brain aneurysm. Bite into a concealed blood pack, collapse, and fall onto the floor, the whole bit. A 'doctor' or a 'nurse' planted at an adjacent table rolls you onto your back, checks you, and says that you're not breathing and you have no pulse."
"He or she rips open your shirt to apply a defibrillator... revealing, 'WILL YOU MARRY ME?' written on your chest in red body paint."
"Pull out the ring, and say, 'I can't live without you, baby.'"
"Chucking the ring at them and saying, 'Here, wear this.'"
"My friend got engaged like this and thought it was so cute for some reason. They did not last."
Wedding Dress Included
"My mom told me that my cousin’s girlfriend got tired of waiting for him to propose (apparently he said he would but hadn’t gotten around to actually doing it) that she straight up bought a wedding dress and told him they were getting married."
"He said, 'Okay.'"
"I believe they’ve been married for about 20 years now."
"My husband proposed to me while I was driving. At night. On a very busy, twisting road."
"He had a big proposal planned but then got super nervous and kind of just blurted out the proposal while we were in the car."
"We celebrate our 25th anniversary this fall. My thought was if I had the power to make him THAT nervous, I was in a pretty solid position."
"Honestly, it's not how you're asked; it's who's doing the asking."
Worth Waking Up For
"Mine might be the worst. I was a broke 19-year-old and thought that if I can't spend money on a good proposal, I'd go with the element of surprise."
"I woke her up at 3:00 AM and gave a speech about how we were going to be together forever and propose."
"Her response: ARE YOU F**KING KIDDING ME...'"
"We've been married 14 years this October."
Red Flags in the Morning
"I got woken up an hour before my alarm clock rang. He just came home from visiting his parents for the weekend."
"No elaborate speech, just a 'Now or later?'"
"Me, being an unarticulated zombie for the first hour after being woken up, managed to mumble, 'Now.'"
"I got the ring stuck on my finger. It was slightly too small. And then I just went to work."
"Later that day, he reminded me that I still 'have to' say yes. Of course I did."
"A day later, colleagues figured out he never asked. He just demanded. So I told him to ask me, but he said since I already said yes, he didn't need to."
"After a little back and forth, he asked."
"I should have seen that red flag waving in front of my face, but it took two years to see it."
Practical Purposes Only
"This is the story of how my parents got engaged."
"Dad: Hey, you should move in with me."
"Mom: No. Not until we're married."
"Dad: Okay. Fine. Let's get married."
"Mom: Wait. Are you seriously asking me like this?"
"Dad: Yes. Why not. Marry me and then you can move in with me."
"And then they got married."
"It did not go well."
Short and Sweet
"Proposing via text."
"will u marry me?"
"For me personally, the worst would be any grand gesture around people. I’d rather you ask during a cozy night on the couch."
"My ex and I just talked and knew we were going to do it. We picked up the ring together and were walking out of the store. He bent down on his knee at a bench, and no one was paying attention. I’ll never forget how precious that was to me."
"I was at a large music festival last year and saw a guy propose to his girl quietly in the back of a crowd. No one seemed to notice that either, but I saw it and started crying to myself at how beautiful it was. She was snuggling into him the whole rest of the set."
Quite the Rebound
"Say the wrong name. Other than that, you'll be fine."
"Something similar happened to a family friend. Someone she met online proposed to her within weeks of meeting her with a gorgeous diamond ring."
"She got caught in the moment and said, 'Yes.' It was at a fairly busy restaurant and everyone started clapping and cheering for them."
"When she got home, she took off the ring to send us a photo of it, and that's when she noticed that there was someone's else initial engraved on the inside."
"Turns out that the guy's ex-fiancee had broken up with him just months before their wedding. He met my friend online and decided to ask her to marry him instead out of spite and possibly because he didn't want to lose his deposit on the wedding venue and catering."
"Propose after being caught cheating."
The Argument to Win Them All
"While in an argument about wanting the get married, bring out the ring and just say, 'Here.'"
"A friend of a friend was 'proposed' to this way and thought it was the cutest. The red flags were waving themselves."
A Different Take
"Propose from prison."
"Propose in prison."
"Propose ON TOP of a prison."
A Jarring Experience
"Shock them by proposing to them right after they've told you that they've lost their job."
Proposing or being proposed to is supposed to be one of the most special moments in a couple's life, signifying all that is to come. Imagining how someone could approach this moment in some of these ways is really staggering.
Woman Loses Her Engagement Ring Down Sidewalk Grate And Comes Up With An Ingenious Plan To Get It Out
Kate Ray, a New Yorker who works for the American Civil Liberties Union—fight the good fight, Kate!—thankfully didn't fall down a sidewalk grate (yes, that's something that occasionally happens to people).
But she did lose her engagement ring.
But Kate wasn't ready to bid that ring of hers farewell. She says she lost it after she went to grab a cup of coffee with one of her colleagues.
I went to get coffee with a colleague & was gesticulating a little too violently when my engagement ring flew off &… https://t.co/PZ1NBgpFCs— Kate Ray (@Kate Ray) 1556143969.0
She could see it at the bottom, though, so that's something.
i could see it at the bottom (that bit of shine near the top to the left of that pink trash) https://t.co/Q6vExlYU91— Kate Ray (@Kate Ray) 1556144037.0
But simply getting that ring out of the grate would be more complicated than Kate thought.
Colleague called 311 while I went into the building to find a building manager. He said the grate belonged to the M… https://t.co/4pLXy347cG— Kate Ray (@Kate Ray) 1556144100.0
Thankfully, the MTA was on hand to lend their support...
We’re in FiDi so an MTA office happens to be across the street. I went there & found some wonderful ppl who told me… https://t.co/KAqHv1VcBD— Kate Ray (@Kate Ray) 1556144196.0
The engineers came & looked but bc the grate was across the street, they said belongs to the MTA .org not MTA build… https://t.co/vVnYyvhVo0— Kate Ray (@Kate Ray) 1556144289.0
...but they couldn't help her.
I did. Ticket booth guy said they were only available 8-4. As I was leaving the station, I ran into th building man… https://t.co/kEoFVS7iT6— Kate Ray (@Kate Ray) 1556144382.0
Con Ed customer service is pretty evil, so we understand Kate's frustration here.
Fuck if Con Ed is going to help me. I’ve lived in NY for 13 years doing battle with their customer service, there’s just no way.— Kate Ray (@Kate Ray) 1556144561.0
But then Kate had an idea: A rather ingenious idea.
So I go to Duane Reade. There are no wire clothes hangers but there is a heavy duty measuring tape & duct tape.— Kate Ray (@Kate Ray) 1556144694.0
Colleagues bring me a magnetic paper clip thing that i bash on the sidewalk to get the magnets out. I tape them to… https://t.co/25jYzOeB34— Kate Ray (@Kate Ray) 1556144788.0
Kate was a woman on a mission.
So then it’s just me & the measuring tape with duct tape on the bottom & irregular subway train breezes down in the… https://t.co/FBXPokFsvB— Kate Ray (@Kate Ray) 1556144883.0
I bring up a lot of dirt from the bottom of the grate. I push the ring around, sometimes out of sight but I’ve locked onto it.— Kate Ray (@Kate Ray) 1556144937.0
I’ve been practicing this unique maneuver for about 30, 40 mins when finally I get the tape directly on the ring & begin to pull it up.— Kate Ray (@Kate Ray) 1556145007.0
Oh, did we mention Kate attracted a group of supporters?
There is a crowd around me now, cheering me on & yelling that I should go slower, faster, left, right. I get it all… https://t.co/ZOg9wc2nvV— Kate Ray (@Kate Ray) 1556145103.0
In one movement, I pull up on the measuring tape & grab the ring with my other hand.— Kate Ray (@Kate Ray) 1556145240.0
SHE DID IT!
https://t.co/CRHurADpOO— Kate Ray (@Kate Ray) 1556145317.0
You've gotta love NYC.
There were so many ppl I met this afternoon, building managers & a shoe repairman & Duane Reade employees & quite a… https://t.co/e67DNxHh06— Kate Ray (@Kate Ray) 1556145535.0
Lessons learned: get your rings sized correctly, & your hacked-together taped-up tools are more effective than navigating bureaucracy.— Kate Ray (@Kate Ray) 1556146317.0
Kate's story of determination and perseverance attracted quite a few fans on social media.
@kraykray This whole thread is literally a marriage metaphor. Mostly marriage is held together with just string and… https://t.co/JFWvvFEJDF— Janine 🇨🇦 (@Janine 🇨🇦) 1556153818.0
@kraykray Amazing! As a NYC kid, we’d just pull up the grate and head straight down. We used to drop our keys and… https://t.co/XGQjo9nLh1— ɐuɹǝS ǝɔuᴉɹԀ 👑 (@ɐuɹǝS ǝɔuᴉɹԀ 👑) 1556191177.0
@kraykray An Event occurred. A Quest enfolded. Companions gathered. Many adventures ensued. The Feat was enacte… https://t.co/cIJg7xJoUa— Melon Husk (@Melon Husk) 1556157700.0
this a GRATE NYC story. @kraykray ✊🏽👏🏽 to your skillz!!! https://t.co/FSOnQx0ZrP— noel hidalgo 🌹 (@noel hidalgo 🌹) 1556193834.0
@kraykray Picturing a row of judges standing next to the grate holding up cards with numbers: 9.2 9.6 9.5 ...… https://t.co/LKvnYQo0XW— Mike Hurtubise (@Mike Hurtubise) 1556206581.0
Well done, Kate.
We knew you could do it!