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Former Quiet Kids Explain How Life Changed For Them After High School

Former Quiet Kids Explain How Life Changed For Them After High School
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When we talk about personality types, one of the things that often comes up is whether a person is an introvert or an extrovert. We just sort of accept that some people are quieter than others.


Interestingly, that personality trait isn't a fixed one. It's very possible for a person to be boisterous and outspoken when they're young but end up as a more reserved adult. The opposite is also true, though, and that's what we're going to talk about today.

We're focusing on that quiet kid in the back of the class who grew up to be more of an extrovert. Those of us (guilty as charged) who wanted desperately to be outgoing would really love to know...

Former "Quiet Kids" of Reddit, how did life for you change after Highschool?

So let's get straight to some answers, shall we?

Trust

I'm still quiet, but now people realize that I'm a great listener and everyone tells me things they usually don't tell anyone.

I'm trustworthy for no reason lol

- velour_manure

Practice

Giphy

I ended up working in a grocery store that prided itself on customer interactions so I ended up being forced to converse with strangers. Ends up conversation is a skill and like all skills you can improve with practice.

- R600a

Ego

People assumed I was quiet in HS because I was smart, which really fed my ego. Now people assume I'm quiet because something's wrong with me, which is really sapping from my ego.

- Pannekaken

Overshadowed

I moved out and was no longer out shone by my parents and family. I dared to open up more and kinda found myself

Both my parents are successful musicians and often play big concerts with big orchestra. My brothers were also quite good musicians and my youngest bro is actually studying at the conservatory at the age of 12. The other one played the drum and violin and the tuba for a few years in elementary school. And then you had me. I suck at music, I can't sing, play an instrument bc I'm tonedeaf (I don't hear the difference between different notes, neither do I hear a bass) or read music sheets. I showed interest in the piano and guitar but after realizing it would lead no where bc I'd always need support from other to, for example, tune my guitar, I gave up. I was more talented in other ways, I like to draw and write and create poems. I love to come up with characters and made detailed stories for them. My parents were... disappointed, to say the least. Especially my mom who (I think) had a dream of creating a mini version of her own. My dad in the other found it sad but he was happy I had at least tried and he still supported my other talents. At school I was an average kid, B - grades, not many friends, a wall flower.

This was due my insecurities from home among other things. So it was no wonder that my parents and brothers out shone me. I was... Just me and they were successful and talented and it was always "OH how is your brother doing" and "OH did you go to your mom's concert, she played amazing, didn't she?!" or "How is (brother A) doing, is he still playing the (instrument)?". It was barely "Hey how are you OP?" and "How is school going?". When I moved out, I had a couple rough fights with my parents bc of this as they still expected them to support them and help them and babysit my siblings who are bc much younger than me. I didn't mind doing it if it wasn't for snide remarks I sometimes got like "you barely visit us!" (I was last week at your place wtf are you saying mom?) or "We help you out so much and you never do something in return!" (wow geezz thanks dad) and don't forget the famous "You are always too busy to call of come by, we are your parents!" (Yeah, I know, congrats for figuring that one out, Sherlock Homes but I have my own life and things I need to go to. I can't call you for every fart). It's been now a couple years and I am still in contact with them bc they realized I was my own person and have my own life. Bc I now no longer lived at home and I was pretty young when I moved out people started giving me attention and got curious about my life. I also dared to open up more and more and explore my own talents and learn how to socialize.

Sorry for the long story 😅😅

- Lena_1995

Quiet Retirement

I have a job that requires me to host meetings, establish report with clients and vendors, and everyone thinks I'm an outgoing extrovert. I am not. It's torture everyday. I cringe everytime the phone rings. I would love to just have a quiet, stay-in-my-cubicle all day kind of job. Or better yet, be able to work from home. Looking forward to a quiet retirement someday.

- Wallflowersarecool2

Not Quiet, Polite

I work in a lab with other former 'quiet kids' and now we're all loud and cracking obscene jokes with each other.

Turns out I'm not quiet, I'm polite and most things that go through my head aren't easy for normal people to like.

- asaasmltascp

A Discovery

Giphy


I discovered alcohol and realized I'm actually a lot of fun and have tons to talk about. Who knew?

- aurochs

Low Self-Esteem

Worked very hard at not being quiet, and realized I had something to offer and that the stakes are usually very, very low if a conversation doesn't go well. I was quiet because I had low self-esteem etc.. so luckily I was able to improve that. One light that got turned on just a few years after high school was someone said they thought I was a snob - so probably a bunch thought I had been a snob. Though it was the opposite (I felt I was not worth taking up someone else's time) it would have looked exactly the same on the outside. So the fact that I was walking around making people feel bad didn't sit right with me and I tried my best to make people at least comfortable.

- suaveitguy

Here's What Helped

What helped: my best friend was very outgoing and had a lot of friends, and I would sometimes observe her to try to better understand how she interacted so easily and comfortably in many different situations, and would sometimes ask her questions about about it. Also, I discovered a book by a psychologist named Philip Zimbardo who did extensive research on shyness. The book had advice and behavioral exercises to help build more social confidence. I read the book when I was 14 and began trying to do one thing every day from the list of suggestions/activities, and it did help. Some of the activities were low-risk, and others forced me to step out of my comfort zone, which was a good thing. I checked that book out from the library several times over the next couple of years. I just looked up the title. "Shyness: What It Is, What to Do About It."


Another thing that helped a great deal was experimenting with behaving as if I was not a shy person in situations where I did not know many people. I was active in my church youth group, and 2 or 3 times a year, there were youth conferences where kids from a bunch of different churches were all together at one of the larger churches, or at a college campus for a weekend. I saw this as a good opportunity to experiment with "outgoing" behavior, because if I somehow accidentally embarrassed myself, it would not be around kids that I saw all the time. I made friends with girls, talked to boys (a couple of whom flirted with me, and another that called me at home later). I found the experience liberating, and I enjoyed it so much that I started to be more outgoing at school. Getting a part-time job when I was 16 at a restaurant where most of the employees were teens, some from my school and some from other schools, was an experience that forced me to become more comfortable making friends.


In college, I got a job as an RA in the dorms my junior year, and was surprised at how good I was at the peer counseling part of the job. I had not expected to enjoy helping students who had personal problems, academic trouble, roommate conflicts, and so on, but found I was good at it, in large part because as a quiet person, I knew how to be a good listener. Eventually, I became an art therapist - that is a mental health counselor who uses art in therapy sessions to help clients express their emotions. I still tend to be quiet in large group situations, and very much prefer one-to-one or small-group social situations, and I need some time alone every day, but I feel happy with my life. The first time I saw the term "gregarious introvert," I thought "That is exactly what I am, and my husband, too!" We both enjoy meeting new people, but need some alone time every day. Our two young children seem to have the same disposition.

- whirlypearl

Authorities And Peers Were The Problem

First, a customer-facing job. Others have covered this well. Practice.

The other thing is that as an adult, being quiet is considered more of a 'personality type' and not so much a 'dysfunction that requires constant attempts at intervention'. And that goes a long way! Gained a huge amount of confidence in a hurry when I was all of a sudden no longer surrounded by both authorities and peers who assumed something must be wrong with me.

- Lickmyangel

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.