Why can't we all just get along? Why do people have to act a fool or try to belittle others with violence?
That is why is can be so delicious to watch a bully or just an ignorant dude get a good comeuppance. Now I don't advocate for violence but, a quick thumping to knock the shoulder chip off or cause to fall from that pedestal they think they're on is sometimes necessary.
Far too many people believe they are invincible so they just act any kind of way to anybody. And every once in a while they meet their match, or they meet their rhetorical "maker." And they cry. And it's beautiful.
Redditor u/ZPM89 wanted to know about the time people made that bad decision to come for someone they should've just ignored, by asking:
What happened when you saw someone pick on the wrong person?
High school is a rough time for many. And bullying doesn't seem to have slowed down. I remember some awful bullies in my school days. And one of the best day was when this one evil kid decided to try and throw this science kid across the room. That science kid knew martial arts. One of them limped to the principal. Guess who?
The Pick Uplio rush sport GIF by WWEGiphy
"Saw a little person bodyslam someone who was about a foot taller than him into for picking on him in high school."
Stay on the field boys...
"During high school the wrestling team and football team shared the weight room where you work out. Some of the football players started picking on the soon to be state champions younger brother. We found out that day that football players while strong can't get out of wrestling holds that make you a human pretzel."
"Watched a guy at a bar pick a fight with a buddy of mine. My buddy is pretty chubby and honestly soft spoken until he gets a few drinks but wouldn't say much to offend anyone. So the fight began and nobody told the other guy that my buddy has been teaching Taekwondo for years. The fight was over very fast."
"Back in 2019, my family and I decided to go on a road trip up the east coast. One night, we decided to stop in Fort Bragg, NC. While there, we elected to head to this small bar to get some dinner before calling it a night. Upon arriving, I notice there's this one really loud dude who's trying to flirt with every single girl that walked into the bar. Anyways, there's this one lady that he's really bugging, and you can visibly tell that she's uncomfortable but he's not stopping."
"That lady then decides to go sit down next to this really quiet bunch of dudes in the corner. Upon noticing the company these men were giving her, he walks up to them and starts losing it. He yells a ton of obscenities and tries to show off the fact that he was a Ranger or something, but these dudes just ignore him. Eventually, he gives up and just grabs the girl's arm."
"At that exact moment, one of the men stands up, grabs that dudes arm, flips him like a ragdoll onto the ground, and pins his arm to the ground. They have a quick chat about niceties before letting him go and that dude is promptly ushered out of the restaurant. Later found out, they were special forces of some type!"
"6th grade, bully decides to pick on the class nerd one more time by pushing his books from his desk to the floor."
"Class nerd grabs a pencil and stabs him directly in the shoulder. The look on the bully's face was pure confusion as the pencil protruded from his shoulder. The nerd was suspended and missed a big overnight trip for our "gifted" kids class, but I like to think he never regretted it."
See there, think before you act. An act like a person not a savage. And maybe get a therapist. Or least takes some deep breaths.
J got it...mma fighter GIF by K_TcH1Giphy
"An incident on the street of our town, too long to explain and not relevant anyway, but a bully of a man grabbed hold of my arms but he didn't realise my six foot son was nearby. J appeared out of nowhere, lifted yer man up by the lapels of his jacket, roared into his face "get your f*****g hands off my mam" and HURLED him across the pavement."
Chad looking guy...
"I was at a Machine Gun Kelly concert a few weeks ago in general admission. We made friends with some people next to us; a dad who took his 14 year old daughter and her friend to the show. He was a really nice guy and his daughter was so excited to be at her first ever concert. 2 minutes after the show starts, a fight breaks out right next to us. We quickly realize it's the dad we met, fighting some late twenties Chad looking guy."
"It lasted only a couple of minutes— we watched as Chad ripped the dad's shirt in half off of him, only for the dad to then clock him so hard in the face that he fell to the ground and scurried away. We later found out from our new friend that the Chad guy had come up to his daughter from the crowd and started touching her inappropriately. He finished out the concert with his daughter, shirtless. It was awesome. lol"
People Break Down The Strangest Rules Their Parents Enforced Growing Up | George Takei’s Oh MyyyThe rules we follow growing up are often rooted in culture and circumstance, but that doesn't mean they always make sense for the world we live in. Or at lea...
"A buddy of mine got a job at a steel mill after graduating with a degree in chemical engineering (the job wasn't related to his degree). While working there, he made a friend, a guy named Lou, whose job it was to stand on a platform over a vessel of molten steel and use a long heavy rod to bash through the cooling steel crust on the top (please forgive my terminology, I don't know the trade)."
"Lou was an unassuming man, about 5'8", bald and not particularly imposing. But he was crazy strong and tough because of the job, among other things. One night, they went for a beer after work and were standing at the bar drinking and chatting. Some drunk a-hole bumps into Lou and gets aggressive. This guy throws a punch and connects on the side of Lou's head."
"Without setting down his beer, Lou grabs him by the front of his shirt with one hand, lifts him off the floor and seats him on the bar. Lou lets him go and quietly says, "I'm going to give you a chance to reconsider." The guy sobers up really fast and says, "Thank you. Please accept my apology." Lou let him get down off the bar, at which point he turned around to the barkeeper, paid his tab, Lou's, and my buddy's, then quietly left, still looking shaken."
Lady Copronda rousey ufc GIFGiphy
"Was standing in line to get poutine in Montreal. Some drunk dude started harassing a bouncer then a police woman came and he started to get physical with her. She flipped him over on his back and handcuffed him. Amazing!"
"The local sheriff's grandson was a bully and would hide behind his grandpa's name. One day during lunch period in high school, he decided to steal a couple books from a nerdy-looking kid I didn't know. Kid immediately saw through it and demanded his stuff back. Bully said he'd have the kid arrested on false accusation charges."
"Kid grabs a fork from someone's lunch tray and drives it into the bully's leg. Bully screams and lurches out of the chair, dropping the books from under his loose-fitting shirt as he does so. Kid picks up his stuff and goes back to eating like nothing happened."
"This is personal. Me and a friend would walk home from middle school. I was in 8th grade and he was in 7th. There was a 9th grader that walked the same route. He was 5 inches taller and 30 pounds bigger than me. He would pick on us all the time. Throw us down. Punch. Spit."
DON'T MESS WITH HUNGRY PEOPLE!!
"Due to covid, Mcdonald's has had an unusually long line. A gang member thought he could cut the line and throw up his gang sign out the window to the long line of people he just cut in front of. The person behind him (small framed dude with his kid in the car) is furious, gets out of his car to confront the gang member. Gang member also jumps out and starts to square up to this scrawny dude."
"Thinking he is the most dominant of the pair, the gang member laughs and tells him to "F**k off before you get hurt". Within 2 seconds, the scrawny dude throws 3 jabs as quick as lightning and drops the gang member on the spot, jumps in the gang members car, drives it onto the road and parks it, gets out and throws the keys over a fence, gets back in his own car and proceeds to stay in line until he receives his order. As he's driving out, the gang member has half come to and boots the man's car as he drives past."
"Annoyed (I'm guessing because his child is in the car) this dude gets out and drops the fool again. Jumps in his car and drives off. Moments later, the gang member comes to again and realises his car is parked on the road. He walks up to it and before he reaches his car, somebody screamed out to him "Your keys are over that fence". By that time, foods ready and we out. Moral of the story, DON'T MESS WITH HUNGRY PEOPLE!!"
SuperGirlWonder Woman Vintage GIFGiphy
"When I was in middle school one time I saw this boy creepily sneaking up on a girl and he grabbed her butt. She spun around smacked him in the face with her purse and started kicking him in the nads. He freaked out and ran off. Never saw him mess with a girl again."
"When I was in HS, 40 years ago, a megajock started harassing, and basically stalking, a girl I knew from a previous activity. She was dating a man who had relatives in the Mafia, and some of them paid him a little visit and while they didn't do anything to him beyond warn him what they could do to him if he kept it up, he got the message and left her alone."
"One of my friends went to an inner city comprehensive school in a rough part of a big city in the north of England. One of the bullies at the school was known for being a sadistic prick that picked on anybody. One morning some new students arrived at the school, and it was apparent they were of gypsy origin."
"The bully made an incredibly derogatory comment about people from gypsy origin. Big mistake. One of the girls of gypsy origin charged at the bully and literally just pummelled him to the ground, then just started savagely beating him. She was landing punches left right and centre, and literally going at him like a wild animal."
"She would not stop! It took 3-4 teachers to get her off him, and even then she was still trying to go for him so they had to get him out of the room. She was screaming all sorts of obscenities at him and saying that he better look over his shoulder as he's a marked man. The bully had to change school and house, according to my friend."
Have a night night...Giphy
"I was dating a woman who's about 5'10 and while not really aggressive, you don't want to mess with her."
"Apparently someone grabbed her butt while she was in line at a bar, she turned around and knocked the guy to the ground with one punch. An hour or two later, a cop showed up, asked her what happened and said "Thank you, just wanted to double-check the facts. Have a night night."
Good Day Sir
"When I was 10 or so my grandparents and I were driving back home to Canada from their condo in Florida. We were coming through the Detroit/Windsor border crossing and stopped just before the border at a Walmart. Some dude rudely tried to shove past us into the store. My grandfather tapped him on the shoulder and told him to apologize to his wife and grandson for being ignorant and inconsiderate."
"This guy was 30 or so if I had to guess, at the time.my grandfather was 61. The guy shoved my grandpa, and then miraculously he was on the ground out like a light. My grandfather waited until he woke from his nap, got the apology, and then bought me ice cream and a hot wheels car. Good day."
"okay that's cool, thanks bro"
"My husband. 7th grade, middle school (ugh) - his family moved and he had to start at a new school. The "alpha male" of the school went up to him his first week there and just socked him in the face out of nowhere - to this day my husband has no idea why, he hadn't even looked at him - he thinks the guy was like trying to assert his dominance, show him who was in charge at that school or whatever lol."
"Anyhow, guy throws a hard punch, husband didn't go down, didn't even flinch. He just laughed at him, said something like "okay that's cool, thanks bro" and walked off laughing. This is not how it went down with the other boys "alpha" dude tried to intimidate, and it made him look really stupid and like a fool in front of all the other kids lolol."
"Husband's best friend that he met there is the one who told me this, bc he saw it happen and it made quite the impression on everyone. I thought that was cool AF how my husband basically took this douchebag down and humiliated him without having to lift a finger lol. He's still the chillest dude. :)"
Out Coldfinn balor fainting GIF by WWEGiphy
"The girl in my high school who had a black belt in grade 9. Very few people knew this, but one guy must have heard a rumor or something and harassed the crap of her."
"All the dumb jokes you can imagine if you were picking on someone for being in karate. Screaming HI-Yah, and fake karate chops… He was warned that she could kick his butt and he asked her to prove it. So one day she did. She knocked that boy out cold. It was fantastic."
Go forth with kindness. Nobody likes a bully or a fool. When you lead with violence, karma will find you. Please let me be there!
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"Legend" is a descriptor often associated with those who are fearless, audacious, and awe-inspiring.
Curious to hear about the people who've left quite an impression on others during high school, Redditor Nearby-Level6472 asked:
"What made the 'high school legend' become a legend?"
These legends each had their distinctive methods for attaining their status.
"Our legend was actually the gym teacher. He became a legend by getting hit by a bus, getting up, getting on the bus and asking if everyone was OK. He ended up getting fired about 5 years after I graduated because he was caught soaking raisins in vodka and then eating them over the course of the day. Never change Mr. Lev."
"His last name was 'Alcock' and he ran for student council..."
"His campaign posters consisted simply of his slogan:"
"Part man...Part machine...ALCOCK."
"My brother ran in to the statue of our high school mascot with his truck at night. Knocked the bulldog off it's platform then threw it in the back of the truck. It ended up in a pond out by our house. My brother, who was a massive wallflower in school, and never told a soul until he mentioned it to me over some beers in our 30s."
"No one ever knew who it was but it was a big deal and I remember tons of allegations, accusations, and rumors as to how our mascot disappeared. Never in my life would I have ever suspected my brother."
"Legendary in my eyes."
"When I was in 11th grade, a guy a year older than me, in grade 12, saved a grade 9 girl from being abducted by her estranged father in the school parking lot. Her dad hadn't been in her life for years and had previously tried to take her from her elementary school. This being her first year in high school, I guess he tried again. The 12th grader heard her scream as her dad tried to force her into his car and he ran over and got involved, apparently punching the dad before the dad got back in his car and sped off."
"Guy was a legit hero at the school."
The Heroic Reader
"Not high school but elementary school. We had this system where if we read a book we could take a quiz online ab the book and we'd get points for how much of it we got correct and at the end of the year the students that had a certain amount of points got to go to this after school party with waterslides and food trucks and it was a alot of fun. Anyways, this buddy of mine would read all these big long hard books (they were worth the most points) and hed take the quizes, write down the answers and pass them around to other students and by the end of the year, there were ab 50 students who went to that party including myself all thanks to him. Hope youre doing alright James!"
"During gym class we noticed people's change and stuff would go missing here and there, as it was a british school with uniforms and blazers etc. Someone left their ipod recording in their blazer pocket and we caught the girl who'd been stealing our change red handed LMAO. It was so crazy bc she was like the richest kid, she was actually a semi-successful child actor who'd been in several shows."
"So, 'legend' in this case means f'king lunatic. He took the teacher's thermos from the back of the room, not knowing it was hers. He goes to the bathroom, with the thermos. Comes back, with the thermos. She says, 'Oh, you found my thermos! Great, thanks! Just put it on my desk.' He does, and then walks out of the room wordlessly. She opens the thermos in confusion."
"He sh'*t in the thermos."
These legends were never seen by anyone on campus, but their presence was very palpable.
The Mystery Prank
"Halfway through my last year of high school someone managed to put a ceramic toilet on top of our multi story gymnasium. I have no idea how that feat was achieved. The school staff didn't know either, nor could they figure out how to get it OFF the roof once they found it. As a result it remained on the gym for the remainder of my time there."
"I never found out who did it, but I will admire them until my dying day."
These Conspiracy Theories Are Easy to Debunk | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"Someone installed games onto the schools server. There were a bunch of N64 emulators, Peggle, and some other games. But then there were also LAN games that could be played against anyone/everyone in the school including Counterstrike and Halo. Sometimes you'd go on and there'd be no one, other times there'd be 10v10 fight in Blood Gulch."
"It lasted at least 10 years but don't know if it has been taken down since."
He Was Untouchable
"Joe Sticka, class of 1969 at my HS. The guy didn't exist. He was created by a group of my friends as a mid-year transfer student with a totally fabricated deep background that was so smooth 'Joe' even made the yearbook with a 'picture unavailable' caption."
Some legends are so over-the-top, they put on quite a show.
Best Costume, To Be Frank
"It's pretty stupid but a friend wore a Walmart hot dog costume and for some reason everyone thought it was funny, started chanting hot dog kid and he won the best Halloween costume award of that year."
"Next year he wore a penguin costume and as he stepped up on stage he ripped it off to reveal the hotdog costume underneath. Everybody f'king lost it. Sadly we have a rule that you can't win 2 years in a row so while he didn't get the prize we all knew who had the best costume that day"
"That is how the legend of hot dog kid was born at my high school."
"In ninth grade, one of our teachers got sick so we got a sub. And this kid just starts talking in a strong Spaniard accent (like super well) and convinces the teacher he is from Spain. And he talks this way FOR THREE MONTHS. It was hilarious. And when another kid tried talking as a Spaniard too, he got really upset and accused the other kid of mocking his culture etc. Then when the year ended we had to do a presentation and our teacher who got sick came! So the kid just nodded through the whole presentation while his group mates talked. It was hilarious."
"He cut his thumb off on a third floor window 5 minutes before final bell and busses. Getting all of us locked in the school of an hour as the ambulance arrived took him away and the school cleaned everything up."
Legend In The Flesh
"We had a carbon monoxide leak at my high school one day in which the entire school was evacuated to the football field. The leak was taking so long to fix, that eventually local news cameras started showing up. At about the 3 hour mark of waiting on the football field, one of the seniors ran naked across the entire length of the football field, IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE SCHOOL. He ran straight at the cameras that were pointed at the field, hopped the fence, and ran across a busy intersection... butt naked."
"One of the funniest things I've ever seen. Every single person, including the teachers, was laughing hysterically."
"Kid became a legend that day for sure."
"When I was a freshman, there was a senior on the last week of school who thought it would be legendary to streak on campus. He was 18. He was unable to receive his diploma on stage and had to register as a sex offender."
"To add to this, I agree that his punishment was harsher than what seems fair. Taking away his ability to walk on stage in addition ro community service would have been better. & in regards to where this occurred, this was in a suburban high school in Santa Clarita, north of Los Angeles."
"Someone spread a rumor that Legend had a small pp. He responded by photocopying his Johnson and leaving the pictures on the desks of everyone in the class. He got suspended but set the rumors straights. BDE for sure."
Many young adults feel invincible, but the decisions they make can be a fine line between legendary and pure insanity.
Legends earn their reputation after engaging in ridiculous stunts. If they succeed, the status is earned. If they fail, they fade into obscurity after being laughed off or pitied.
Did you have what it took to become legend, or were you happy just being average?
Personally, I was just happy to survive what I thought was a brutal period in my life.
For me, being a survivor of high school makes me a legend in my own eyes, and I'm sure I'm not alone.
Those who peaked in high school are former students who've had the time of their lives while there – whether as the star of an athletic team, head of the cheerleading squad, or class valedictorian.
While those accomplishments are nothing to scoff at, many of these former students have not had a comparable sense of achievement after they've graduated.
Some of them haven't even left their hometown in pursuit of their dreams and there's nothing wrong with that.
But friends and family members might say those who never lived up to, or even beyond, their fullest potential are non-starters.
Curious to hear of more identifiers about the experience, Redditor Grogenhymer asked:
"What screams 'Peaked in High School?'"
Sadly for these students, the thought of life goals and achievements were never realized.
Gone Way Too Soon
"This is a sad twist to this topic. A few months ago I saw an obituary for a guy we all knew from a nearby town. We all played sports against him and we knew of him because he was a good athlete in high school. The sad part was his obituary mentioned his high school achievements as his best accomplishments in life. He wasn't a bully and a decent guy but it made me genuinely sad that the highlight of his life was high school."
"Highschool is probably going to be my peak, which sucks because I am hating it. I believe high school is the only place where I am able to somewhat stand out due to my academic accomplishments, otherwise, in the future I will probably be working a dead-end job alone."
Letterman Jackets are a high school rite of passage. Wearing your lettered jacket is a symbol of pride indicating a student has made it, or that they have rich parents.
For The Uninitiated
"Letterman jackets on college campuses."
"They are a particular style of jacket, usually with faux leather sleeves and a fabric body, typically bi-color using the school's colors. If a student completes certain achievements (for my school it was two years completed in the sport or vocation), they are able to purchase an appliqué letter - usually whatever letter the name of the school starts with - and sew it onto the breast of the jacket."
"If you want to see what it looks like, any movie depicting college kids in the 1950's will usually show them wearing something similar. That's where the tradition comes from, I think."
Worn Out Welcome
"40+ year old guys showing up to a high school homecoming football game in their letterman jackets that no longer fit. A number of them did not have kids at the school. It was also 90+ degrees out at night."
A Jacket's Second Life
"I had no idea what to do with my jacket after high school. On one hand, it was a really nice jacket. On the other, why would I want everyone to know I lettered in band in high school?"
"Mine lived in a closet for more than a decade before one of my younger cousins was at my high school. She lettered, but her parents couldn't afford to buy her one - they are outrageously expensive."
"So I gave her mine, they switched the letter (she lettered in a sport cause she's cooler than me) and it got worn for a few more years, which is cool."
Students look to the future after receiving that diploma and flip the tassel on their cap to the other side.
But some can't seem to move beyond their high school glories.
Reliving The Past
"People trying to relive their life experiences through their children. Like forcing a daughter to do pageants, or a son to play on the football team."
"My dad likes to tell the same high school stories non-stop, but never has anything to say about life after he graduated. He even has a wooden trunk full of high school relics that I'm not allowed to even look at, because he's afraid I'll destroy something."
"Literally just going back to their high school on a regular basis."
"Grown people who still try to create teen drama. Making an issue out of every non-issue that other people just ignore, because they've grown up and they know the world doesn't revolve around them. Especially if it happens at their place of work where they should remain professional, but they feel the need to be the 'diva' and / or the 'mean girl', or they're always the victim, refusing to take any accountability and relying on gossip and baseless rumors as 'evidence.'"
"Well, at least that's the kind of people I experienced in high school, and when I see people who still behave like that I think that they peaked when they were 16, and then got stuck there. I unfortunately have met some when I worked in retail."
"Attending high school football games 10 years later and expecting the coach to invite you to the sidelines."
I was miserable in high school. The bullying, the acne, confusion about my sexuality, girls, boys, my ethnicity and where I fit in – it's all a dizzying kaleidoscopic drama.
I knew then I would never look back once I got that diploma – which is why I never bothered getting a letterman jacket. My parents couldn't afford one anyway.
But I have nothing against those who peaked in high school and are content in their adult lives relishing in the memories of their alma mater.
I wonder if they have any regrets, though.
Sometimes friendships don't last forever. Especially when they exist within a big group of friends--that's when things can get messy, especially when you're young. Eventually, you grow up and realize that the drama just isn't worth it, and part ways.
This seems to be a universal experience. 606hound asked:
Why did your friend group break up?
This phenomenon seems to happen the most after high school. It can be tragic, but sometimes it just doesn’t make sense to be friends anymore.
It’s a lot of work to stay in touch as adults.
“Time and distance means both parties have to work at it to keep it going. There are a lot of people I thought I'd remain friends with all my life who are now people I will always remain in contact with, and if they ever want to try and reconnect, my door is open, and I hope the same offer is open to me should I want to reach out.
I think there's also something to the idea that what made us friends back then isn't who we are today. The friends I am still friends with from my high school days or my university days or my first job days have grown up with me and like me for who I am now, not who I was when we first met, and vice versa. There are people I stay in touch with for the sake of shared history who I am confident we will never make new memories together. That's okay. I care about them to the extent that I like to know they're doing okay, and that's enough for both of us.”
It’s best to avoid people like this.Tim And Eric Smile GIFGiphy
“It was three of us and we were inseparable back in high school. Then, when the girl I was crushing on started hanging out with us more, one of my friends started acting different. At first, he was going out of his way to look good in front of her and like a really good/funny guy. It was annoying. Then it moved to him lying to me and talking sh*t about me to her and other people. And finally, he started to flirt her under the thinly veiled excuse of "wrestling."
A dozen talks and all of them ending in him threatening suicide later, I told him to f*ck off and broke it off."
Gotta grow up at some point.
“Everyone was really fun as a group for the first couple years, but as we got older some grew up and others didn't. Which led to some people doing some sh*tty things to others in the group that brought on some fights and arguments which eventually split everyone up.
There are a few members of the group that I stay in contact with but we will likely never hang out as a group again.”
They had to learn their lesson twice with these folks.
“Girl A told girl B that this boy was cheating on B. B called A a liar and physically fought her. All my friends took different sides. I remained neutral like Switzerland. I am now the one with no friends since those backing A were angry I was still talking to those backing B and viceversa.
Edit for answers:
- The guy was cheating but made B think she was crazy for believing A. He was abusive and toxic. They are still together 15 years down the line and have 2 children.
- I sort of took A's side as she was right but my best friend (C) took B's side. A had no problem with me talking to B and the ones on her side. My then best friend C got jealous I was also talking to A and got the girls on A's side to stop talking to A.
- Whole group rekindled about a year later, apologies were exchanged. B never joined any plan as the guy didn't want her to see her friends.
- When me and A started uni (we were the only two from the group that went to university) everyone stopped calling us as we were broke students and didn't have money for clubbing. We tried to organise free plans but no one was interested.
Lost the same group twice. Better off without them. Girl A is still my best friend.”
Unfortunately, there are common traits between people in a friendship that one might outgrow, like partying, drugs, or other reckless activities.
Drugs can tear apart any relationship.comedy central GIF by The Jim Jefferies ShowGiphy
Steve always had a coke problem and so did Shane. Then I got one and it was bad. All the girlfriends blamed Steve and Shane for what happened to me as they introduced me to it.
Then Steve got too coked out while I was at rehab and beat the sh*t out of Shane.
I still talk to Shane occasionally hoping he's ready to quit drinking but the rest of them are long gone.
Growing up means losing friends.
“I think most of my group still hangs out. But over the last five years, I've just stopped talking to them.
I used to be a huge partier, but had a major health event that has effectively ended it. I no longer drink or do hard drugs.
I just lost interest with them since it all revolved around getting messed up. I used to go out maybe a few times a year, but after the social distancing this past year, I lost touch even more. On top of that, my longest friend unexpectedly died due to drugs earlier this year. I'm glad I got out when I did because I was on track for the same fate.
On top of that, I stopped doing Facebook and that has contributed as well. I recently saw they all got together for some 100 days celebration of my friend dying but nobody invited me and I found out after the fact.
Sometimes you just grow up and leave it behind."
All went in different directions.
“I was part of a group of 6 that hung out the summer after high school graduation. This is what happened.
One liked drugs.
One became a cop.
One got sent to jail.
One moved to Oregon.
One is still getting his Masters.
I'm just working.
I still hang out with the guy getting his masters and the guy from Oregon will come back home sometimes.”
Sometimes we just outgrow people. It’s a part of becoming an adult.
Don’t bang your band mates.band jamming GIFGiphy
“Not as much as a friend group, but a band. I was in a pop punk band in high school, and we were together for about 2 years just playing local shows and sucking at writing songs together.
My junior year, I (vocals) started dating the guitar player. Turns out, the bassist and the keyboard player also both had the hots for me. Bassist and Keyboard player dipped, other guitar guy and drummer awkwardly backed out, and me and girlfriend/guitar player did acoustic covers together for another year and a half before she cheated on me and we broke up.
Moral of the story, don't bang your bandmates.”
“Some friends had very clear mental health issues. One decided to lash out and cut contact for seemingly no reason, another just straight up ghosted everyone and we never found out why.
One of my good buddies from highschool has problems with alcohol and also wants to be a cop despite being racist and sexist. He made a sexual comment to my wife while blacked out and refused to take responsibility. Another friend freaked out months later screaming at us for daring to hold him to account and said a bunch of awful things, we haven't heard from her since.
Growing up f*cking sucks sometimes.”
Something I wish I learned when I was younger was that if a friendship is toxic, it’s more than ok to let them go. It’s no use clinging to people who don’t value you, or are just plain problematic. You’re allowed to leave.
It’s honestly better to just have a few close friends anyway. Friend groups are too dramatic.
*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.
When a sudden tragedy strikes a school, an uncanny tone sweeps across the community.
The whispers of half-informed students fly down hallways and across cafeterias. Each is heard with a balance of eager interest and mournful respect.
Teachers act strangely. They hold secrets and quietly argue about how to deliver the tragic news. The chain of command is strained under the unique circumstances.
When a student dies, all decorum subsides.
Perhaps wondering what that environment feels like, Redditor ThatOneLazySushi asked:
"Teachers who had to tell their class a student passed away, what was it like?"
Many teachers talked about the times a student or students chose to take their own lives.
The moral of the story? There is simply no way to deliver that news without an injection of trauma.
"My step-dad is a private school principal who also taught 7-8th graders. Total class size was 21 or so. Over the weekend one of the 13yo died of apparent suicide. I have never seen him so pale and empty looking when he got home that day."
"You could tell he had been crying along with the students. In his 30 years he had never dealt with anything like that and he shut down for a good while. He never saw a counselor but set it up for the students. I wish he would."
A Faceless Note
"On the 2nd day that I was in my own doing student teaching, the school went into lockdown. As this was just over a year after 911, the class, a senior Government class, surmised that it had something to do with that. There has been 2 suicides of dropped-out students in the prior 2 weeks, but that did not come up."
"Then a note was slipped under the door stating that a senior, the girlfriend to one of the prior suicides, had killed herself that morning. The option was given to announce it or have someone come down from the office to do it."
"I guess they could see my concern, and the color draining from my face while reading it, as I was asked, 'Mr. D——, what's going on?' I told them, and it was heartbreaking. There was a lot of anger and a lot of tears. It has been nearly 20 years and it still haunts me."
"In hindsight, it was, to quote the Johnny Cash song A Boy Named Sue, a Get Tough Or Die moment. I've lost 5 current/former students since then, but none were as dark as the first one."
Probably the Best Response
"I used to teach English in China as an expat. The college I worked at had three suicides in a year, one of the students was in my department. Although I didn't teach the student directly, the tone of the students and my colleagues were extremely gloom."
"Although tragic, the topic of mental health had been on the forefront of school business after the third incident and a therapy office for students has been established in the administration building. I was very proud of my school for taking mental health seriously, and had a discussion with my students about the issue. I kept my office open for any students wanting to talk."
"AFAIK no other suicide/attempt was made for the remainder of my time there (~1 year afterward). Flowers were set up at the location."
"Worst day of my career. A student of mine shot himself the night before. The SRO told me that morning. The principal made an announcement over the intercom for all of my students to come to my room and instructed me to tell everyone about his passing while all the admin and district and school counselors watched."
"His best friend just got out of a mental hospital for cutting himself. He was sitting right next to me when I spoke to the class. I instructed one of the counselors to not let the best friend out of their sight for any reason. 30 minutes later, the counselor informs me the best friend has gone missing."
"I search the school and find him, razor in hand, and a bloody mess. I take the razor and hold him with one arm while calling his dad with the other. It was a long and terrible day."
Other teachers recalled times that a student suffered at the hands of community violence. These stories took place in areas where, unfortunately, despite the sadness it wasn't completely shocking.
A Constellation of Factors
"A student of ours was shot and killed. It happened just as quarantine had started so no students to tell. Just the teachers and staff."
"I had talked to the student no more than a week before everything shut down. We had threatened to call CPS on the mother because she had several children not going to school at all. We also suspected she was under the influence of drugs. He came in because of this threat and had told us his twin had been shot during a party and died. Most likely gang related for both of the shootings."
"It's difficult because these were 16-year-olds that should have had a better shot at life but the system failed them every step of the way."
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Last to Hear
"Used to teach in inner-city Chicago. Never had a student die, but several of them got shot. The kids knew well before I did."
"I actually had one student missing for three days; I mentioned it out loud that it was odd they weren't in class for three days in a row, and one of my kids said, 'Oh, Joe got shot seven times. You didn't know?' "
"Pretty harrowing stuff. It's tough to sleep those days off, especially considering how casual the kids would be about it."
Feels So Random
"A classmate from first period in my Jr. year of high school. The teacher just walked in to class and explained that this chick was shot in a drive by at the park."
"I just remember being super uncomfortable and not knowing what to do. The chick that sat behind her in class just lost it. Just shocked looked on her face, and she just started bawling. I'm sure she went home after that."
"I took flowers to the place ware she died. I didn't know her that well at all really. But I thought to myself 'even if you may not feel it, it's always good to pay your respects.' So I did."
"My wife works in a high needs area that is plagued with gang violence. A few years back 4 students were found brutally murdered in the woods (MS13 hit). 2 of them were her students It was highly publicized and everyone knew before the next school day (I believed it happened over a long weekend or a school break)."
"For her breaking news wasn't hard but dealing with the fallout was heartbreaking. Sadness, fear and anxiety not just because of the murders but because of the extreme attention it received (it was highly politicized on the state and national level). Many students are afraid of the gangs but they are also afraid of the police and other authorities. The student body is incredibly vulnerable."
Finally, some people discussed the sudden medical tragedies that took place. Without any backstory, context, or logic to share, delivering this news felt sickening.
"I was a student in a 2nd grade class where this happened. One of my classmate's older brothers had collapsed in the cafeteria. We all saw it. Our teacher had to come in and tell us the little information she knew and I distinctly remember her crying and having to leave the room."
"Days later when the brother was taken off life support they brought in child psychologists to tell us about brain death and life support machines and the hard decision his parents had to make. As an adult I really appreciate the care the school took to make sure everything was explained in a child appropriate manner."
"There was no gossip or whispering because they told us everything that happened. Our teachers even brought us to the funeral, explaining that although it would be sad it was important to show our classmate our support. A horrible situation that was handled as well as it could be given how young we were."
Just Being Kids
"(Student) In middle school I had a friend and his brother die from an electrocution accident from a downed power line after a storm. It was 2 brothers one in 6th grade and one in 5th."
"Everyone was acting weird that day and no one really knew why. Kids were crying and walking out of class, it kind of threw off our whole school day. I remember one of our teacher telling us what happened and got really emotional."
"Apparently a kid who went to our school witnessed what happened too and she basically said don't ask him questions about the situation. It hit her close to home for some reason I don't know why, she couldn't even speak without crying. I knew my old classmate a little bit and we shared a class. He was a really nice kid. RIP to him & his brother."
A Horrifying Fluke
"My son was in the 3rd or 4th grade and one day he came home and said 'P didn't come to school today, her brother died.' It turned out the older brother and mom were playing around at home and she tapped him on the head with the heel of her shoe."
"He laid down to take a nap and died due to a clot or something like that. I can't even imagine."
A Confused Response
"I was the student here, and in 6th grade the teacher and principal both told our class that our classmate had passed. He had bullied me daily. When I heard the news, 11 year old me felt relief, and I never really thought about him again."
"Now, as a more empathetic adult, I feel absolutely horrible that I had that reaction to his death. I don't think as a kid, even in middle school, I truly understood what death was. I would take getting bullied every day over him dying."
"To tie this into the question - I don't envy educators that have to deliver this news at all. Some kids are losing their best friend or classmate, and some kids may not fully comprehend what happened."
Close to Home
"Im a student not a teacher, but the teachers son died from a car accident and he was one of my friends"
"The teacher came in crying and told us there would be a meeting in the auditorium to honor his son, I ended up going home and crying the rest of the day because one of my best friends died"
A Very Sad Start to the Day
"When I was in high school two of my classmates died, one in tenth grade from Reye's Syndrome, the other in eleventh grade from leukemia. In both instances the entire school was notified during the morning announcements over the PA."
Someone To Talk To
"I teach elementary school and a student in an colleague's class (same grade) had a student pass away mid year. The student was sick. I forget what exactly he had, but it was well known he wouldn't live long, and he was frequently out of class due to illness or dr appointments."
"The day after his passing, a grief counselor was brought in and helped explain to the class what death was in a very age appropriate way. I had a couple of students in my class who were friends with the deceased student. I sent them to the grief counselor, and they said it helped a lot."
Unfortunately, when a teacher takes the job they rarely imagine these days as part of the job description. But things like this do happen, and it's so important that kids have teachers when they do.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/