All you have to do is say.... "I'm just not that into you!" "I've moved on." "I will call the police, go away!" Ghosting is so petulant and it only causes more harm then good. Just explain, even a quick... "not now. NOT EVER!" I know life gets hectic and really, we don't owe people anything, but shedding a little light and a little decency goes a long way. And PS... if you're the one whose been ghosted....take a hint and move on. Be grateful you dodged a bullet.
Redditor u/till-mann wanted some answers, answers we've all been waiting for.... they asked.... People who are ghosting other people, have you ever been called out, if so, how did that make you feel?To Grandparent's House
My biological brother was ghosted by the woman his father was dating, who fathered 3 kids with her. I was adopted and so didn't meet my brother until our 30s when i heard this.
Apparently our dad was awful, so it's good I was adopted out but, my brother lived through the worst of it. My brother was 14, living with his dad, the girlfriend and the 3 young boys they had together when his dad was killed in a drunk driving accident ( he was the drunk).
My brother came home from school one day shortly after and she had packed up the whole house and just left without telling him he guesses because he wasn't her responsibility. At 14 he came back to an empty house. He had to call his grandparents 3 hours away to come get him.
Horrible. He built a good life for himself since but can you even imagine what that must be like??
Enough was Enough
This happened recently. I had a friend I had known for 25+ years. We wound up at the same company and realized we lived very close. She was all into office gossip and talked trash about people I liked. I asked her to stop. Any obstacle I was facing was dismissed because she had been through worse. When I needed to talk to someone about personal struggles I was having, she would talk over me and change the subject to her issues. This went on for a few years.
I would hang up after talking to her and question why I bothered. Finally, I had enough. I ghosted her and after few months, she reached out to me via text. I replied and told her why. I was not cruel, just honest. Now I am 'mean and hurtful'. I blocked her and am not regretting this at all. I think about her and hope all is well. I just needed to sever the ties.
Sorry GIF by swerk
He actually reached out and apologized after a while, so that was nice of him, but it doesn't take away how much it hurt.
My way of thinking is if someone ghosts you, let the dead rest. No point in chasing after someone who doesn't want to be chased.
How Dare I?
An old ex from college got in touch with me via FB, which was lovely and a tiny bit concerning. Had a great time catching up, getting in touch with old friends from college via this exchange (seriously, this was the best part of that), etc.. His life turned out pretty much as I expected - numerous divorces, presumably some infidelity on his part, etc.
Several months into our very polite chats, he suddenly shifts gears hard.
He's spouting Birther nonsense, trying to get me to leave my husband for him (literally haven't seen this ex in 20+ years) and no way in hell is that going to happen. I blocked him on social media and didn't think twice about it afterwards.
About six months later, our mutual college friends start haranguing me about why I'd ghosted the ex while he was deployed in Afghanistan, how dare I ghost a veteran who needed our support, etc. and how hurt my ex was that I'd cut off our friendship.
Oh boy.
Here's the thing. I kept a screenshot of his crap to show my husband. And each time one of my college friends started in with that nonsense, I sent them the screenshot. One of the guys was so pissed, he told my ex that if he didn't stop backstabbing, they'd send it to his current wife. :D
Haven't heard anything since - going on 8 years now. I don't expect to.
Forgiveness
Oh hey, I can answer this. This happened 9 years ago, when I was a teenager. I had started dating a guy who I really, really liked. He did not like my best friend, and would often make fun of her. I felt like my friendship with her was coming to an end anyway because we were drifting apart, so I didn't stop him. His toxic behavior actually made me start resenting her.
Eventually, I just ghosted her. Left her on read. Never hung out with her anymore. We didn't go to the same school, so I just never saw her.
She sent me a looong message asking why was I not talking to her? Did she make me mad, did she do something wrong? It was a really heartbreaking message, and I pretty much told her that I felt like we weren't close anymore, that I was in a good relationship and I didn't feel like we were friends anymore. She responded by basically saying she understood with a sad face.
I didn't talk to her for almost a year. I'm not sure what the push was (I was still dating the guy), but I missed her and I texted her a very long message apologizing and groveling. That I was wrong and stupid, not sure what came over me, etc.
She forgave me. I don't know why, I pulled a really crappy move and I know I did it when she was at a low point. I'm so extremely grateful that she decided to give me another chance. We're still best friends to this day. But her confronting me when I initially ghosted her was absolutely miserable and heartbreaking. I still feel like such a piece of crap for it.
2 Out....
I'm currently ghosting two friends. They are a married couple that wanted to bring me into the relationship. It didn't end well and after two months of not speaking to each other, they reached out again. I was willing to reestablish only friendship. But they still were pushing for me to be romantic with the wife. I was pretty uncomfortable and felt anxious about it, especially after the fallout, and decided for everyone's safety and wellbeing, I needed to block them.
They sorely lacked adequate communication for a three-way relationship and were pretty manipulative with me and used my naivety and trust in them to get what they wanted.
Sometimes, ghosting is the answer. Not always. If there's a chance to discuss it rationally, then do it. But if you don't have that chance, ghost.
EDIT TO ADD: I consider this ghosting because I cut contact without an explanation on seemingly good (in their POV) terms. I've always thought that is what ghosting was. The only time I expressed I wanted their friendship was when we initially reconnected after the fight. After that, they began pursuing me again and I decided to completely block them without talking to them about it further.
Why do you hate me?
Okay, I wouldn't call it ghosting... but, I sometimes don't like talking to my mom. We have a very strained relationship and sometimes it's better for my own mental health to just not engage.
Anyway, one time I was legitimately at the gym with my trainer and didn't answer.
She left a voicemail that said, "You ALWAYS have your phone on and answer when (bf) calls or texts. Why do you hate me so much?"
I am a 32 year old mother of 3, raising my kids and my boyfriend's son. I'm busy. I'm tired. I just want to be left alone.
It's Me...
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When things aren't going well in my life, I turn inward and isolate myself.
I'm not good at receiving support and therefore I avoid people when i'm not doing well. It makes me ghost the people I care about and then suddenly contact them again and the cycle continues.
I've been called out on it and i'm honest. I'm sure it's hurtful and it makes me feel awful but I don't know how to be anything but the happy supportive friend that you'll get close to and i'll disappear when I can't be that.
It's Not You
I was low-key dating/hanging out with this guy that started ghosting me. After a while I texted and just asked him to honestly tell me what was up. He explained in great detail that he met someone else and had fallen hard for her. He apologized sincerely for being a fool by ghosting and I actually really appreciated some brutal honesty for once. I've dated so many morons that would lie about everything or gaslight me that I aways prefer the harshest truth now.
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After dating her for two weeks, my father passed away.
I told her up front that I am not in a good place emotionally, wasn't comfortable sharing my grieving process with someone I had just met, and that I couldn't promise I would still be open to dating anyone in the near future.
She called me out for ghosting her a month later.
Want one, Lexi?
I've ghosted, but usually don't get called out. I used to be honest, but having more than one dude call me names for not thinking they were a good match killed that habit.
Worst was a dude I'd gone on a couple dates with. He was nice enough, just a little too odd and clingy. Insisted on picking me up - I refused and met him instead. Insisted on driving me to the theater between dinner and the movie. I refused again. Then acted weird in the theater, yelling at people if they so much a coughed.
After the movie, he was bold enough to go for a kiss. I did the cheek turn thing, then left. In the twenty minutes it took me to get home, there were over a dozen texts, each one more frantic than the last because I hadn't replied yet.
I immediately noped out, and ghosted. For weeks I got messages before he told me "he thought I was better than this". But then I'd get the odd text like he was testing the water. The weirdest was "Mmm. Shamrock shake. Want one, Lexi?"
I'm very glad he didn't have my home address.
Hurtful
My (adopted) aunt. Her and her biological sister came home from school one day to find that their parents packed up the house and moved without them. She was probably 15 at the time. She called her best friend (my biological aunt) and my grandparents let her move in with them, eventually legally adopting her. I can't even imagine the hurt and confusion she felt. She's still friends with her sister and I believe she eventually got back into contact with her biological parents.
I said No
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I only ghosted him after he asked me out and I declined and he became hostile. Then he started throwing more tantrums and eventually went to my friends and asked them to stop being friends with me so yes I was wrong for not blocking him immediately.
In my Head
I'm a ghoster. I feel terrible about it. I mean to write, and mean to write, then time has passed so I have to write something really good, then more time passes but it is around my birthday or a holiday so looks weird if I reach out then.
So I communicate daily with you in my head, many apologies and conversations. My anxiety just gets overwhelming.
If you contact me I will usually respond to the branch gladly.
Change it....
I have ghosted a couple girls. I did it because I didn't feel I wanted to pursue the relationship. I should of told them how I felt straight up. One girl I ghosted I ran into a couple months later at a bar she told me how hurt she was and I felt like a complete asshole. Changed my perspective completely and haven't done it since and will not ever do it again. Just tell them your honest feelings and you're much better off.
Sorry
Sorry Shame GIF by reactionseditor
Giphy
I've been ghosting this girl I liked and she hasn't noticed because I'm the one who always starts the conversation (I now know that I'm not technically ghosting her please stop commenting that).
It's Not Me
It made me feel like crap to be honest. That's not who I am but at the time I was going through a rough patch in a relationship and my home life wasn't great either. Being alone felt like the only option at one point until a good friend I ghosted expressed his concerns.
Done with You
I'm currently "ghosting" this girl that has been manipulating me for months. i was attached to her so much that she could just withhold affection until i did what she wanted. and she had me convinced that the reason she was so stingy with her love was because i was doing something wrong or i just wasn't good enough.
I met someone else and i've been giving the first girl the could shoulder ever since. she facetimed me the other night, wasted, crying that i don't love her as much as i used to. i corrected her; "that's not true, i actually don't love you anymore at all."
She texts and snaps me regularly trying to apologize. i think she means it. but i have no intention of responding and risking letting her back into my life. rather not have her in my life as a constant reminder of all the suffering i went through because of her abuse.
At Christmas
I was close friends with someone at work for 17 years (seventeen!!) Then the school we worked in closed, and we were moved to different schools. For the first 4 months, I made all the effort in staying connected. After Christmas break, I just stopped. It took her 6 weeks to reach out to me. That was a really hard time.
someone boss GIF
I was never called out on it, but I deeply regret that I hurt someone that meant a lot to me. I take full responsibility for my actions. I think ego defense mechanisms play a part in situations where you don't have a real good reason for what you did. You just build a wall and start running. But it eventually catches up with you.
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For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
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"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
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What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
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Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
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Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
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Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...