Getting disowned by your family can either be absolutely devastating or a massive relief. Either way, usually it's to get rid of toxicity within a family structure, whether on purpose or an unintentional result of the situation.
Here are a few stories about being disowned by family members, from the side of the person who was disowned. Heads up, these might get a little ugly.
Now THAT’S a toxic family.
<p>I don't consider myself disowned, but I have been cut off from seeing my younger siblings. I've pretty much disowned certain family members myself.</p><p>My mother(50) has been abusing her position of EPOA for my Alzheimers addled Grandmother(80) via extortion, and unlike everybody else, I choose to hold her accountable for her actions, because her selfish actions lead to my nana nearly needing her feet amputated from having lack of medical care and attention.</p><p>I told everyone what she was doing and nothing happened. No one wants to prosecute her because apparently legal fees are more important than getting my grandmother justice.</p><p>So, essentially, I was 'disowned' for exposing her extortion.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Mumsacunt/" target="_blank">Mumsac*nt</a></p>At least there was a happy ending.
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwMDY3NC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NjQ0ODQ1NX0.50384xr_KZ6kXnpm2NPzxtQUNKoxaiuvdeefciyQ3bU/img.gif?width=980" id="6a14b" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1841f01792526bfa9519bd02ba86da10" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="360" />bart simpson whatever GIFGiphy<p>Mom saw that I'd worn some of her clothes while she was in another province for work. I came home to her screaming that I'd sold thousands of dollars of her clothing to my high school friends (we were so poor we had to steal food; nobody bought any clothes, nobody stole them either lol).</p><p>She then said she was going to destroy everything I owned, and in a panic I hid in my room and put the dresser against the door. She started throwing herself against it, and I was terrified to realize she was gonna get in. My lava lamp fell, I caught it, and threw it when she forced the door open. She screamed, I jumped out a window and ran barefoot to a friends house.</p><p>She called the police accusing me trying to murder her, I turned myself in and told the police that I did assault her and would accept any charges. They released me to my friends house and told my mom that they'd charge her with child abandonment if she kept pushing.</p><p>Her ex best friend drove four days to get me. She signed over the ownership papers and I've had an amazing dad ever since.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Individual-Youth958/" target="_blank">Individual-Youth958</a></p>Talk about mommy issues.
<p>My mom decided when I was 13-14 that she didn't want to have kids anymore. Her and my dad divorced. So my dad moved out of the family house and my mom was newly single.</p><p>So she gets my sister out first by asking my sister to go away to stay with our dad for the weekend. When my sister came back, my mom had packed all her items in boxes and said, "find somewhere else to live." Sister was maybe 15. Her reasoning is she didn't like the crowd my sister was running with.</p><p>With me, I stuck around longer. I took more abuse and neglect. My mom didn't cook, or clean, or have food in the house. And despite getting child support, if I asked for shoes, or anything, "ask your father, don't ask me."</p><p>Despite not having food or money, she wouldn't give me the alarm code to the house, or a key. I could only come home if she was home. One day she agreed to drive my friends and I to the movies. Well she and I got into a small argument about something in the morning (I don't remember what) and I left and arrived home in the afternoon. She was home but wouldn't let me in. I was a 13-14 year old kid (before cell phones were that commonplace). Ringing the bell, peering in the windows. She wouldn't let me in. Finally, I found an open window and climbed through and she coldly looked at me and said, "you know, I could have you arrested for breaking into the house if I wanted to."</p>This mother is a monster.
<p>I was told by my mother that my general existence causes more problems than it solves, and I had two weeks to either leave or kill myself. She didn't care which I chose to do, but if I killed myself I needed to make it look like an accident or she couldn't collect on my life insurance. She decided this needed to happen because I'm disabled.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/alchemicals/" target="_blank">Alchemicals</a></p>Screw that mess, indeed.
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwMDY4MC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxOTA2MjU0MX0.n131ClXLEFf7zJlsU81cnGvFDmY3hpXFsPud2V1_XxE/img.gif?width=980" id="e1c11" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="5e6939807d6cc78a7e46681e1b29188a" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="480" />Sad Murdoch Mysteries GIF by Ovation TVGiphy<p>My dad. It was mostly my decision because we used to do hard drugs when I was a kid. Growing up I thought it was normal until friends found out and told me they were worried about me. I first overdosed when I was 14 from drugs he gave me and let me just say it was all downhill from there. </p><p>I'm 13 years sober now but I kicked him out of my life around the same time. My dad still says horrible things about me and his whole family believes him... so I cut them all out. It's definitely for the better as I have created my own family with supportive friends. Screw that mess.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/jessvszombies/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Jessvszombies</a></p>Very culty.
<p>I was a Jehovah's Witness, and I started asking the wrong questions.</p><p>There is now several hundred people that watched me grow up, the only social circle I was allowed to have, that must pretend I don't exist if they ever see me.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/excusetheblood/" target="_blank">Excusetheblood</a><br></p>WTF to all of this.
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwMDY5Ny9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyODE2NzY4N30.jnPPGZOY8r2ocnAZwVQS3RG2rWB-8IJ4l2FsHKAraWQ/img.gif?width=980" id="668cd" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="dea203429b9f16653755bcfac9e60e41" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="280" />britney spears GIFGiphy<p>Where do I start?</p><p>My mother and I have never gotten along. As a child she has been overly critical of me (Asian parent). Even when I was small I remember her telling my Dad "If she can't even cut in a straight line what can she even do?!". I was 5 when she said that. When she realized that I was not going to grow up like she did or have the interests she wanted me to have she grew more critical of me. She laid of a bit when my little sister came around and she favored her more. I always felt like I was never enough in her eyes. She only was affectionate during family get togethers, vacations or sometimes in public.</p><p>When I came out of the closet, she didn't believe me. She always said lightheartedly that she would love me no matter what but when push came to shove my bi-ness was just a phase. We then went to church for the next few months afterwards (I was catholic). When I hit depression in my teens each time she picked me up from therapy she always kept asking "When am I going to be ok" or hinting how much my sessions are while on anti-depressants. She then cheated on my dad when I was around 18. When I had my son, she came to be supportive after the birth but ended up critisizing how dirty my place was, my parenting and subtly hinted at calling CPS. Post partum hit hard and a failed suicide attempt ensued.</p>Good riddance.
<p>My biological father is an abusive alcoholic, but also super Christian? And super redneck conservative. He gave up his rights when I was 4, which my mom always told me was for the best. After I found out I was pregnant, he added me on social media and saw where I had shared some posts with pro-choice views. I guess it bothered him because he blocked me lol</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Emotional-Fruit/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Emotional-Fruit</a></p>People Divulge The Exact Moment They Realized Their Workplace Was Toxic
Leaving a stable job is a weighty choice. Good salary, benefits, friendships with co-workers, and room for upward growth are all factors that may entice someone to stay put.
A Constellation of Toxic Variables
<p>"I had a job where my girlfriend's Mother was my boss, so I guess the moment I realized my workplace was toxic was when my girlfriend cheated on me and then my girlfriend's Mom hired the guy she cheated on me with."</p><p>"In hindsight, probably more than just the workplace was toxic."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kr5li2/when_was_the_moment_you_realized_your_workplace/gi7pjez?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">the-cschnepf</a></p>Mafia Ethics
<p>"When someone was called into the manager's office, then returned to box up their desk and leave. When I asked the manager if she was okay, I was told, 'We don't talk about people after they leave.'"</p><p>"If someone quit or was fired, they were just never mentioned again. It was creepy AF."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kr5li2/when_was_the_moment_you_realized_your_workplace/gi7mltv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">solar-shock</a></p>Power Hunger
<p>"They fired a new father the day before Christmas eve because he missed a month of work due to his wife getting very sick after giving birth, he didn't try to get medical leave or anything because he was worried about his wife and taking care of his newborn."</p><p>"Second one was when I sat in on a leadership meeting, I worked at the time as almost a bridge between two sides of the company and all the leaders did was gossip about their employees and talk about who they wished they could get rid of, and who annoyed them."</p>Look at Your Shoes, Look at Your Shoes
<p>"When our boss got into a screaming match with one of the managers (his daughter) in the middle of the office."</p><p>"I'd just started there 3 weeks ago and it was absolutely mind boggling to watch. I looked around at my coworkers and everyone was just looking away, doing their best to stay quiet and not look at either of them."</p><p>"Person at the desk next to mine saw my shocked face and whispered 'they do this a lot. Just ignore it.'"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kr5li2/when_was_the_moment_you_realized_your_workplace/gi7yvje?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">thrown12212020</a></p>Incentives All Out of Whack
<p>"One of my job's metrics for how our performance is graded by is 'on time departure.' We get so many points if we're within -10, -5, 0, 5 or 10 min from scheduled."</p><p>"People try to cheat by tampering with the clocks and that's a punishable offense."</p><p>"I was good at leaving early or on time most of the times. Got a call one day to warn me that I was under investigation because I had the most points in the company."</p><p>"They assumed that I was cheating, that's when I knew I had to go. I wasn't going to start being late to avoid repercussions."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kr5li2/when_was_the_moment_you_realized_your_workplace/gi7wysz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wearsAtrenchcoat</a></p>Skipping Town
<p>"We reached a point where we regularly had to wait to cash our paychecks. We basically were told we had to get orders completed and paid for, in order for the account to have enough money to pay us."</p><p>"During this time, the boss went on a vacation which was <em>just great</em> for morale."</p><p>"My manager had to take a day off, effectively putting me in charge for the day. I texted my manager, 'What should I do if the IRS shows up? lol.' 2 hours later an IRS agent did stop in looking for my boss."</p><p>"I found a new job not long after."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kr5li2/when_was_the_moment_you_realized_your_workplace/gi80dp5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ghost-0427</a></p>Left Out in the Wild
<p>"I once got asked if a wanted a different position, away from coding, into project management. I said, okay, if you help me set it up and give some guidance."</p><p>"The next week I got a project, through a binder being placed on my desk and the words, this is your project, good luck. Before I could react, they were out the door."</p>"Hurtful For This Man to Hear..."
<p>"A couple of female coworkers went to the HR manager to file a complaint about sexism in the workplace, related to the same guy."</p><p>"They got told by the HR manager and their boss that the company wasn't gonna do anything about it, because it would be very hurtful for this man to hear that his behaviour was wrong..."</p><p>"Later when some anonymous survey showed that employees were really not as happy as they(company) were claiming on social media, and people even felt discriminated against in the workplace..."</p><p>"...they brushed it under the carpet saying people were just too stressed when they filled in the survey, like that is not a problem on its own."</p><p>"Many more of these kinds of things, but that's defo when I realised I had to get out."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kr5li2/when_was_the_moment_you_realized_your_workplace/gi7woii?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">uselessacount4ever</a></p>Terminally Mixed Messages
<p>"In college I had a part time job at a big retailer selling appliances. They would generally have a promo of either 0% financing or free delivery, one or the other but not both."</p><p>"That being said, there was a workaround where we could still give people both, and multiple members of our management team told us that if that was the only way to get the sale to do it."</p><p>"2 months later they fired half the department for doing what we were told to do. I quit right after that."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kr5li2/when_was_the_moment_you_realized_your_workplace/gi7vy12?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Marijuanavich</a></p>NOT Your Fixer
<p>"When a boss told me to go to the port to bribe the officials there to release several containers of materials for the hotel we were building."</p><p>"I did not (and neither did that chickensh**)."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kr5li2/when_was_the_moment_you_realized_your_workplace/gi7ph9j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BillionTonsHyperbole</a></p>A niche community often arises organically. At it's best, a web of bonds in real life or on the internet establishes a safe space for people that share a common interest or life-defining characteristic.
A Good Thing Gone Too Far
<p>"As a Personal Trainer and someone who basically lives in the gym, it would have to be the Fitness Community."</p><p>"While it is incredibly important to include fitness as part of your life, I see far too many people in my gym take it to illogical extremes."</p><p>"From drug use, to using the gym as a means to avoid their families, spending up 5 hours or more in here, there's lots of unhealthy behavior that goes on in here."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g6xz24f?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">KJR506</a></p>Cliques of Oral History
<p>"I was most surprised by the toxicity of an online community devoted to the history and memories of my home town. I thought it was going to be about people's reminiscences, interesting tidbits of information and old photos, but it turned out to be a lot of sniping and politics."</p><p>"There was a core group, kind of like the cool kids and they would have get togethers and inside jokes and they treated everyone else like they thought they were losers."</p><p>"It was very high school - actually worse."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g6y0k7y?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Paddlingmyboat</a></p>Arbitrary Designations of Legitimacy
<p>"It breaks my heart to say this: the disability community. The amount of gate-keeping is ridiculous and insane."</p><p>"Example: I take pills for a condition that is psychiatric in nature, but has physical side affects if I'm not medicated (drowsiness, hand trembles, shaky leg, compulsive picking). I've repeatedly been told that it's not a 'real disability' because I have it under control, or worse yet, it's 'in my head.'"</p><p>"Not cool, man."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g6yuw3i?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">skynolongerblue</a></p>Wheel Hierarchies
<p>"Bicycling. My ex has a bmx repair business, mostly for kids, and the amount of hate he receives from road cyclists is unfathomable. Not just online, but on trails and in bike lanes too."</p><p>"How little scope do you have when you're willing to run someone into traffic because you don't like their style of bike? Then try to high-five your friend about it?"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g6yamef?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Laynebutnotlayne</a></p>When Hate Gets Hold of It
<p>"The RuPaul's Drag Race fandom."</p><p>"What started as a bi***y distraction for gay men has turned into a phenomenon for sanctimonious straight teenagers who are either hysterical sycophants or obnoxious racists."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g6y9hbi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DoneDidThisGirl</a></p>Sexism in the Gaming Community
<p>"Gamers! Some man feel threatened by woman and they begin doing anything to kick hem out of the community."</p><p>"I've seen some exposing the girls personal life like photos, affairs, jobs in order to make them feel embarrassed enough to leave the games."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g6ydk4m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">soloamotu</a></p>Snooty Sellers
<p>"Poshmark. I'm a full-time seller on poshmark and mercari, and my God do some other sellers have a god complex."</p><p>"Poshmark allows buyers to offer on items and a lot of sellers take every offer (low ball or a reasonable offer) as a personal insult and will either blast the potential buyer or just straight up block them."</p><p>"Some sellers have a 'no response' self policy, where if someone asks a question they refuse to answer because they see it as a waste of their precious time..."</p><p>"...now I understand some buyers ask too many questions with no intention of buying but that's just how customer service is baby, sometimes you gotta answer stupid questions!"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g6xxvwb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ladies_and_jellyfish</a></p>Inaccessible Storytelling
<p>"Dungeons and Dragons."</p><p>"You would think that nerds bonding together over something as wonderfully silly as pretending to be Dwarves and Elves wouldn't breed toxicity, but many of them are not only snobby but extremely elitist about how they prefer to run the games."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g6ybnhv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ASDirect</a></p>Ironic Intolerance
<p>"The kink communities in some cities."</p><p>"They say they're all about acceptance and everything rosy but can be a toxic cesspool of cliques and power-hungry narcissists."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g6xv6n1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">JonSnowsdirtyd***</a></p>"Local"
<p>"Surfers. There are cases where someone gets beat the sh** out of/their car wrecked simply for surfing a spot whilst not being a 'local.'" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g6yukj4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FormerGoat1</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Was looking for this one. Everyone thinks it's all laid back and chill but in the water surfers are aggressive, selfish, and hostile to beginners."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"At certain crowded spots (i.e. spots in Santa Cruz) I'll count my session as a win if I go the entire time without some old guy or 'local' getting mad at me for some dumb sh**." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g6zhqjp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Franklin-D-Bluth</a></p>Aggressive Rascals
<p>Most kid game that have chat features. Club penguin, Roblox, wizards 101, etc."</p><p>"Usually if younger children are involved heavily in a games community I usually see a ton of racism and just plain hatred."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g6yspnb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RTwistedReadsYT</a></p>Head on a Swivel Out There
<p>"kpop. idk if it's a no-brainer to y'all now but when I joined I had no idea. the amount of cancel culture, bullying, gas-lighting, sh** talking... it made me so uncomfortable."</p><p>"I did not want to be associated with people who send death threats to others who don't like kpop or harass their idols. it makes me so angry and sad that the community is what it is..." </p><p>"....because I still enjoy some bands and songs. and I also feel bad that the people with actual healthy love for the genre and bands are ashamed to like what they like because of the shitty ass people."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g6ys14m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">NoodleBooOwO</a></p>Allegations of Overstepping
<p>"PETA. They claim to be the People for Ethical Treatment of Animals but they tried to get Pokemon banned which is a fictional video game about collecting monsters (has nothing to do with animals). They also want to turn the whole world vegan."</p><p>"If they actually stuck to their core values of protecting animals they might actually be taken more seriously."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g6yqkyp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">judas_crypt</a></p>Hiking Wrong
<p>"Literally, Outdoors."</p><p>"Ever try to go on a quick run or a nice hike with an outdoorsy friend or relative? Or possibly even date?"</p><p>"Don't have the right shoes or expensive gear. Don't have the right drinks because water isn't enough anymore. Don't use the right running technique (whatever that means, I learned to run when I was 3 and never looked back)."</p><p>"And don't even TRY to find a nice serene place in nature that isn't gatekept by someone who thinks they own the land. It's outrageous."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g6zcwih?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Crowroth</a></p>Becoming the Enemy
<p>"Atheists (and I am one.)"</p><p>"If a major problem with organized religion is that it's very tribal (which it is), organized atheism has turned itself into just another tribe. One more version of 'us' against a different kind of 'them'. That's not an improvement."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g707df0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Hysterical_Realist</a></p>The Prevention of Vulnerability
<p>"Men to other men. Honestly it's sad how many men try and make others feel like sh**." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g6xxj0r?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Lethal_bizzle94</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Not surprising" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g6yhx79?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Thoughtitwouldlast</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I think there's a fine line between ball busting and actual hatred. Also guys don't hold grudges much at all" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g70ocmt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Wes_Bugg</a></p>Only Advice for the Tight Coils
<p>"Curly hair community. Gate-keeping is real. If you have loose, wavy curls or a mixed baby and you're trying to get some curly girl help online.... beware."</p><p>"They're coming for you."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g70ra0h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bigmamaindahouse</a></p>DRAMA
<p>"Community theater toxicity caught me off guard when I got into it in my town. Lots of ego, casting drama, and super right wing people with shi**y views."</p><p>"That last one is the one that got me the most. Maybe it's just a Florida thing but you'd figure that people into doing musicals wouldn't be the 'all lives matter,' 'I disagree with gay marriage' types regardless."</p><p>"Not everyone thankfully, my closest friends also came from doing it"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j19pcp/whats_the_most_surprisingly_toxic_community/g6y92hb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">IniMiney</a></p>When the children of toxic parents grow into capable adults, parental control gives way to a new friction. The kid, fully grown, presents a sudden equal force, one with opinions and words and a mouth.
Never Too Old to Gaslight
<p>"Either 'that didn't happen, you're making it up' or 'that didn't happen that way, you're remembering it wrong.' I'm still relearning to trust my own memory because I spent thirty years being constantly gaslighted."</p><p>"Now I just go to therapy and keep conversations with my parents nice and light and surface-y. Saves a lot of trouble."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/frtv23z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">seriouslaser</a></p>One and Done
<p>"My father had, over the years, developed an 'I call, you come to where I am' set of mind. I was at my parent's house for the weekend from college. I was a senior, and was close to graduating. I had worked hard. My parents weren't able to contribute to higher education."</p><p>"I was in the house talking with my mother, and I hear him whistling for me to come to him. I continued my conversation with my mother." </p><p>"He whistled again. My mother advised me to go see what he wanted. I told her it wasn't going to hurt him to wait or come in here if he really wants me, and we continued our previous conversation."</p><p>"He came stomping into the house, and demanding to know if I heard him. I told him I did. He asked why didn't I come then. I asked him if he expected me to come to him like a dog whenever whistled."</p><p>"From the look on his face, I don't think it had ever crossed his mind that he was treating me that way. It was something he never did again."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/frtwfeh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">spamgolem</a></p>A Trickle Down Theory of Trauma
<p>"My brother and I sat down with our dad with our grandfather as a mediator to explain the effects of his verbal and emotional abuse through the years. I cried the whole time as I explained that I had almost killed myself earlier that week by driving off a bridge because I couldn't take it."</p><p>"His response? 'Well, my father beat me. So really, you're getting the better end of it. It could be soooo much worse. This is just how it goes. You guys are going to do the same thing to your kids too, and they might be the ones to break the cycle, but there's nothing you can do about it.' "</p><p>"My brother and I said f*** that and immediately jumped into counseling and dismissed him as a father figure and sought new men we could trust."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/fru0j37?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">otterchan</a></p>Grasping at Straws
<p>"Just as unsatisfying as you'd expect."</p><p>"Cried. Played the victim. Made excuses. The apologized. A week later pretended nothing happened & went off on me for not forgetting everything when she apologized."</p><p>"She's very mentally ill."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/fru1m92?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">kendiesel937</a></p>Varying Degrees of Success
<p>"My mother wasn't really toxic but emotionally distant. When I had a heart to heart with her, she hugged me and we cried together. Our relationship has greatly improved."</p><p>"My dad is super toxic. When I tried to have a serious talk with him about the damage he's done he was adamant that he did nothing wrong. He even laughed when I told him that I was suicidal in the past because of him."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/frtt1hs?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">SomeVelvetSundown</a></p>“The Fear Killer of My Life”
<p>"Bio Father: scared the holy sh** out of me most of my life. The day I called him on his abusive, drug addicted, alcohol dependent ways and was able to look him dead in the eye with a 'F***. You' was the most liberating, fear killer of my life."</p><p>"Mom, she's struggled with her own mental illnesses most of her life. Those eventually got projected on to me. Morality doesn't come from stone half-a**ed religious belief. Self-medication isn't a healthy coping mechanism. I stood my ground, explained how she was being a goddamned a**hole, and ever since we've been on great terms."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/fruc3n3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">TheRevSev</a></p>Layers of Toxic
<p>"It's never gone well. Alcoholism is terrifying to confront." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/frtxeio?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">CantHandleFacts</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"It is. They almost always get violent." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/frv7jxz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">dontniceguyatme</a></p>An Established Theme
<p>"They'd rather gaslight their own child than own up to anything." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/fru07tr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">RoadFlowerVIP</a></p><p>"I just did. I was screamed at, I'm pretty sure gaslighted? Said I was being dramatic and stupid, immature. Lazy (severely depressed) and snippy (extreme anxiety and ptsd because of said parents) It hasn't been a good day." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/frtymey?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">youraverageslytherin</a></p>The Brick Wall Kind of Confrontation
<p>"Got angry, swore at me, cursed my existence, the usual toxic parent stuff." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/frtszaw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">GarunixReborn</a><span></span></p><p>"Well, I haven't talked to my dad in over 3 years, so I'd say it went alright." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/frtypn6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">puffmonkey92</a></p><p>"Well, I haven't spoken to my mother in damn near 10 years." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/frtygpp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">Satanicbuttmechanic</a></p>The Twilight Zone of Arguments
<p>"Horribly. I've tried multiple times and it only results in circulate conversations where it's all turned around on me and I'm left feeling like I'm crazy."</p><p>"We'll go from me saying I feel x when you do x and then I'm being told I'm lying about example x because I told a lie 18 years ago."</p><p>"The topic changes a thousand times, we wind up yelling at each other, and then my parent will suddenly pretend to understand after all, I'll hear all about how loved I am, then after I leave I realize there was no apology and no resolution to what happened at all."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/frtya6w?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">69schrutebucks</a></p>That's One Way to Take It
<p>"He moved to a bunker up north and keeps trying to convince me that we're living in the end times." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/fruev2h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">waitforaberrymuffin</a><span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Oh, glad it's nothing too crazy then." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/frxm94j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">i-wanna-see-it-all</a></p>Toxicity In Multiple Directions
<p>"My mom. She went to rehab got kicked out after a few days for harassing other patients, came home harassed me and then took off. Have blocked her out of my life since."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/fru0684?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">[deleted]</a></p>A Disproportionate Response
<p>"Not great. When my dad picked a fight with me over the fact that I moved out (wtf) I told him the reason I moved out of the house was because of his toxic behavior."</p><p>"Dad flipped his sh**, said I was an ungrateful selfish spoiled brat with a personality disorder and that I was brain controlling my mother and sister. He was <em>literally</em> screaming and frothing at the mouth. It was terrifying."</p><p>"All because an 18 year old with a full time job decided to move out. Yeesh."</p><p>"On the plus side, Mom started to realize just how awful he was. They've since divorced and now none of us talk to him aside from occasional holiday cards. It's a huge improvement!"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/fruife2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">Moldy_slug</a></p>Finally Some Good News
<p>"It went better than expected. My mom had a moment of self-realization and had never realized the effect she had on me. She apologized and has since changed her behavior."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/fru8kyl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">Cheyenne5555</a></p>When the Eight Year Old is More Mature
<p>"My dad was throwing a fit because I called his behaviour nonsense. He didn't let go and was sulking all day. I got tired of his BS and said sorry. I was 8." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/fru14u1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">Gmax100</a></p><p style="margin-left: 40px;">"My dad is just like that; entitled, always takes anger out on whoever the Hell it is closest to him, always plays the victim, etc. We mostly get along well, and always bond over video games, movies, etc., but I'm thankful him & my mother broke up when I was born; there's no way I could handle living with him." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/fru9w70?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">EloquentScumbag69</a></p>Utterly Deflating
<p>"They thought I was joking." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/frucb6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">bbthatguy</a><span></span></p><p>"I was honest with them as a teenager. They just laughed at me." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/frual2v?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">blizzaga1988</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Same." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/frusyv6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">sydude_365</a></p>Brutal Honesty
<p>"When I was trying to find a job as a teen, I was chubby. And very unhappy about it."</p><p>"My dad used to ask me what jobs I applied to, how much it paid, etc. And then one day he told me, 'When you hand in your application, tell them it may not look like you work hard, but you really do.' "</p><p>"I was so crushed, that my dad had such a low opinion of me. I tried to tell him how that made me feel, but he just laughed it off. That was a long time ago and we're still not close. For that comment and many other reasons."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/frudc53?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">whocares023</a></p>Hard Work After the Confrontation
<p>"Back when I was around 12 or 13 my mom uses to be in a horrible mood and scream at us for little to no reason. This mostly was caused by stress. I would sometimes wake up with anxiety attacks and nightmares of her."</p><p>"Sometimes she got physical about it but usually it was just the "u are a disappointment" etc. At some point I just got so tired of it that I just snapped. We got into a big fight, didn't talk for a few weeks."</p><p>"After my father realized what was going on he decided to contact a therapist. We now (22 currently) are fine and have decent relation."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gqnr4c/serious_people_who_have_confronted_their_parents/frufn8w?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">UnclesPoopsock</a></p>They say the first step in fixing a problem is admitting that you have one - but for a lot of people that's pretty much impossible when the "problem" is themselves. Self reflection and recognizing toxic traits is hard. Like, really hard.