Life is full of double standards and double edged swords. Which of course means that life... is eternally unfair.
Whether it's a sexist issue, a work issue, a race issue, there always seems to be levels of judgement that leave certain parties feeling slighted.
A perfect example is curfews. I can understand having a later curfew when relating to age, but when growing up, several of my female friends had earlier curfews than their younger brothers. Fair? I think not.
Also, parenting is full of double standards. How many times was I told not to curse when half of the adults out there have the mouths of sailors? Mhmmm...
Redditoru/CLHiddenInPlainSightwanted to discuss the most egregious unfairness in life by asking:
What's the WORST double standard?
One of the most stressful and aggravating places for double standards is the workplace. If we all work hard and stay focused we should all be rewarded accordingly. So often that is not the case. Women and people of color and gender expressions are often overlooked in order to promote less productive people. I call BS.
Are you working?
Work Sucks GIF by MOODMANGiphy"My Boss has brought me into his office repeatedly to tell me I don't do enough work and that we are all swamped right now. My Department is short staffed. Yet he has no issues sitting at his desk watching movies all day long, yet if I sit for five minutes to shoot off an email I am wasting my time."
Wining and Working
"I used to work nights by choice, which meant that occasionally I'd knock off work and decide to have a glass of wine before bed. For me, that was about eight in the morning, when my housemates at the time were getting up to go to their nine-to-fives. The reaction from people was insane."
"For me, it seemed way weirder to sleep during the day, wake up in the late afternoon, then get dressed and go out for dinner and drinks with them, which basically meant that I was having wine for breakfast -- but from their perspective, that made perfect sense. Night work is weird."
Sleep Tight
"My stocking manager at my first job (stocking for a grocery store) didn't teach me any of the techniques or methods for efficiency (yes, there are methods and techniques to stocking shelves as quickly and efficiently as possible), so I was very slow at it for a while. Turns out he never trained me because he was too busy napping in the office during our shifts."
"He would help us unload the truck when it got in, and then disappear to his office for the next 5-6 hours while we stocked so he could sleep. Like I understand helping with the shelves isn't necessarily his job, but not training your new employee and sleeping on the job is super crappy."
Crazy Pops
"My grandfather. He acts like an a**hole then gets upset when he gets called on his bull. He's also very quick to use first amendment rights to try and cover his a**, which gets him yelled at even further. He also makes things political during family gatherings, which nets him plenty of nasty looks from both me and my mother. Unfortunately, chewing him out is the only way to shut him up. I'm sorry for complaining so much, I just really needed to get that out of my system."
Goes Both Ways
The Office Monday GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"Employers expecting loyalty from employees while provided none in return. Sorry, buddy, loyalty is a two-way street. If you can terminate my employment at a moment's notice, then I reserve the right to leave when I want to."
I knew a ton of these would be work related. As we head back from Covid it's really time to rethink and make adjustments to these situations. Also, grandpa is never changing.
Rationalize This!
angry pegboard nerds GIF by MonstercatGiphy"That my employer expects me to flawlessly come into work on time every day with no excuses allowed, yet our paychecks being late are met with rationalizations and excuses from the payroll department."
Puff Elsewhere
"Breaks during work. Acceptable for smokers, questionable for non."
"I'm a smoker, and at my last job I smoked 3 cigarettes every day. One at ~10am, another one right after lunch, and the third at ~15. I had 30 minutes lunchbreaks, which I only used 20 of to justify the smoking. And once he said I was smoking too much, and wasted so much time, blah blah. It didn't matter anymore when I told him I'd take my full lunchbreaks from now on, without interruption."
Crazy Historical Events That Sound Fake But Are 100% True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
lazy days...
"It isn't the worst double standard, far from it, but it's annoying. It's about the workers who start early (and leave early) vs the workers who start late (and leave late). Let's say I start to work at the office at 6am while my coworker starts at 8am. If I leave at 2pm and he leaves at 4pm, we would have accomplished about the same amount of work. For some reason, I'd be the one who's tagged as lazy because I leave the job earlier. It didn't happen to me, but I witnessed it a few times during my career."
Mr. Dad
"When a mom can parent but a dad can only babysit."
"UGH. My kids are 9 and 11 and when they were younger (so not that long ago), my husband would take them grocery shopping or to the park or to the movies, etc. and so often he'd get "oh, how cute, you're babysitting!" He was like "Umm, no, they're my kids. I'm parenting." SMH."
Tools & Toys
Lets Go Ghost GIF by Arrow VideoGiphy"When I was a kid if I left my toys out and one of my parents stepped on them I got yelled at and in trouble for not putting my toys away. On the other hand, when my dad left his tools out and I stepped on one I got yelled at for not watching where I was stepping."
Blackmail
"I had a friend that worked at a batting cage in high school. The dude that owned the place was super shady and would always pay my friend like 1-2 weeks late. One day my friend had been waiting several days for his paycheck and the owner rolls in to work in a new Lexus. My friend ended up stealing some equipment and keeping it in his car with the threat of reporting the owner if he didn't get paid that day. Lo and behold the owner came up with the money and my friend quit the next day."
BS!
"School administrations will throw a dog-and-pony show about how much they will not tolerate bullying, yet will do nothing when it is taking place within their school. The bullied kid can speak up all they want but nothing will get done without hard evidence or some other BS. What happens when he has had enough and starts hitting back?"
"Suddenly he's the aggressor and now the Principal wants to exact their Zero Tolerance Policy on that kid who justifiably defended himself. If you are a parent and are concerned for your child being a recipient of bullying, empower them to use violence to defend themselves. In some situations violence is the answer."
- TheDoc16
Personal Loss
"Wage theft is larger than all other forms of theft combined, but is not considered a crime. If you steal $100 from the register, you will go to jail, be branded a felon and (potentially) lose your voting rights. If your boss leaves $100 out of your paycheck you can maybe recoup some portion of that after a protracted civil case at significant personal cost."
Louder!
Meme Reaction GIF by reactionseditorGiphy"Person 1 yells at Person 2, then gets offended if Person 2 yells back at them."
You're Hired
"That people won't hire you if you don't have experience but how do you get experience if no one hires you??"
"It's a sign of an industry that is perceived to have enough workers. They know that there are experienced people available, and they don't want to train up a green employee because it costs more."
- superkp
You're Fired!
"Companies will fire you without notice but expect a 2 week notice when the employee resigns."
"Honestly I do it more as a courtesy to my colleagues so I can properly transition my ongoing projects to them. I've been fortunate enough to like my coworkers at all of my jobs and I don't want to make their lives harder for little benefit to me. It's not like the new job is going anywhere in that time."
Respect
"Young people have to respect their elders, but then said elders can say and do as they please."
"Yeah. Had this happen to me. My parents raised me to be their equal. Multiple times I'd be dating a woman with "old fashion" parents who expected me to defer to them as though I'm twelve. They didn't like me much."
Sharp Edges
raul julia GIFGiphy"You can carry two single-edged knives, but a single double-edged knife is automatically illegal."
Medical Fails
"If you take maternity leave, your job/position is protected and your medical insurance still covers you. You can also use any campus facility at my previous university as you are still "considered a student" and your scholarships can be put on hold. NSERC even pays a stipend."
"Get cancer and need to take some time off? Welp, job's not held, your insurance refuses to cover you as you "aren't working". You'll also lose your scholarships and being "on a medical leave of absence" means you can't use any uni's facility without paying a premium."
- rainfal
Lacking Morales
"Colleges that teach ethics while ripping the students off in every way possible. I believe that ethics should still be about what is right or wrong... not what you can legally get away with."
"As a former college student, I felt this one. I feel like every college views students as walking ATMs and I went to a public college so I kind only imagine how much worse a private school would be."
Oh that dad one got me. Why can you keep your clothes on the floor but I can't? Life doesn't have to be perfect but it can certainly be a bit more fair.
People Break Down The Absolute Worst Parts About Having A Child
While starting a family and having children is a goal that many people have, some do not realize that it's not easy, fun, and loving one-hundred percent of the time. Rather, it's expensive, exhausting, and hard, though it might be worth it in the end.
With this in mind, people shared what they felt were the hardest hurdles of their parenting.
Redditor ApprehensiveShock655 asked:
"What's the worst part of having a child?"
Fear of Not Doing Enough
"The constant anxiety that you’re doing enough to shape them to make good choices, a good life, be a good person and for them to have the life they deserve."
- nakedreturnsthe1st
Like the Energizer Bunny
"It's incessant. It never stops. You never get a day off."
"Going from having two days per week to relax and do whatever to literally never having a moment free from responsibility."
- mrbuh
No Break In Sight
"I’ve always wanted kids and still do, but this is the only thing that has come close to giving me pause."
"Both my siblings have young kids and I cannot get over how CONSTANT it is."
"From the second the kids wake up to when they finally shut their eyes, it’s non-stop. Then they get maybe an hour or two to themselves, which is mostly spent tidying up, etc., before the nighttime stuff starts with the baby crying, the toddler coming into bed, nightmares, etc."
"It requires years of not getting a full night's rest. You can never just go out whenever you want. No sleeping in, even on weekends because someone has to be up with them at 6 AM."
"Raising human children is an insane task."
- GirlisNo1
Mom's Body After Baby and Dad Bods
"The weight gain is the worst! During the pregnancy, I gained 35 pounds. My belly has stretch marks. My boobs are all saggy."
"And it’s not even fair because my wife only gained like 15."
- Wise-Reaction-7526
The Meal Planning
"Coming up with three meals to eat per day EVERY DAY stresses me out so bad."
"This sounds like such a small thing, but it really wears on you over time. You can’t just make something for yourself or something you and your spouse feel like eating: You have to constantly be thinking about if the kid is hungry and what they might be willing to eat."
- Ravenclaw79
Keeping Them Safe
"When people ask me this I say, 'do you know those video games where you have to escort a character to a destination without them being attacked?' That's parenting. Those missions are a pain in the a**."
- Infiniski_Gaming
Seriously, Keep Them Safe
"Having to deal with their total lack of self-preservation. They are creative and come up with all kinds of ways to try and kill themselves. Keeping ahead of the game is exhausting."
- Quizzical_Chimp
Constant Contact
"They’re just always there. On you, behind you, in front of you, just a little speed bump impeding every task."
- Tangboy500000
Letting Them Live Their Life Their Way
"Having a kid is like having a little piece of your heart running around in the world. When they're sick or get disappointed or just feel sad, it's worse than having it happen to you."
"Yet at the same time, you need to let your kids work through those things to learn to handle them. If you give into the worry and try to shield them from everything, you risk creating harmful co-dependence."
"So it's a constant struggle. But worth it!"
- um_chili
What Is "Sleep" Again?
"I'm only nine years in, but so far, it's been the sleep deprivation. Hands down."
- tessiegamgee
And What Are These "Sick Days" You Speak Of?
"Having to take care of a sick child when you are also sick. For me that has been the most challenging part so far."
- MrsLouisaMercury
Another Full-Time Job
"It's like taking a second job that lasts 18+ years with a 24/7 schedule with no holidays or sick days."
"…And no second paycheck. It's actually like YOU are paying your second salary instead of getting one."
- mouse_rat
Personal Freedom
"The loss of freedom. I can't just... go somewhere. Even with older kids, there's so much planning and thinking and getting ready."
"I miss being able to just decide to go somewhere, and go there."
- poetris
The Time Flies
"The best advice I got was from an ancient hospital security guard in an elevator. 'The days are long, the years are short, cherish them while you can.'"
- WayOfTheHouseHusband
So Unexpected
"The phrase I hate is, 'You don't know it, but one day you pick your kid up for the last time.'"
- 3_pac
There are all kinds of troubles that come from being a parent, many of which people don't necessarily think about until they already have a baby in the house.
But reassuringly, many people in the subReddit pointed out that no matter how hard some of these hurdles are to get over, it's still worth it in the end, and it goes by far too fast.
Married People Explain How They Tactfully Initiate Sex With Their Partner
Positive emotions are high among people in the blossoming phase of relationships.
Everything seems more romanticized for people in love due to the amorous joy in their hearts–which also influences their desire to frequently get it on under the sheets–or any other daring location in the heat of the moment.
But for those who've declared "'til death do us part," devoted couples may find that they are not always on the same wavelength sexually compared to when they first met.
Curious to hear how people keep their passion alive, Redditor Rude_Phone6841 asked:
"Married people, how do you initiate sex with your partner?"
When verbally articulating isn't enough...
Let The Book Dictate When
"There is a book called 'How to Subtly Tell Your Partner You Want More Sex.' If you sleep on the right side of the bed, you can casually open it up and your spouse will see the giant printed title on the front. Sometimes, I’ll just get the book out and leave it on his side of the bed. Once he was messing with me and acting like he was oblivious to my not-so-subtle hints, so I threw the book at him. The book is effective and hilarious."
"ETA: Sadly, we haven’t found the book since we moved. Fortunately, we’ve started communicating with our words instead. Words are just as effective."
– Flaky_Finding_3902
Save The Date
"I send her an outlook calendar event and if she accepts, IT'S ON."
– Dawn_Piano
The Signal
"You know when I’m down to my socks it’s time for business."
– SEA___BEAR
These couples find that verbal cues are best.
Now's The Time
"Honestly when we have the time one of us usually bluntly says 'let's go have sex right f'king now before we can't' and we go do it. Lol"
– brie1305
Option A Or B
"I have a 2 month old and a 2 year old. Some of the best sex we had was because I said 'after 2 year old goes down and if 2month decides to sleep do you want to meet in the basement' well she decided to sleep and damn that was good."
– Ahkmedjubar
End Of Day Reward
"We just ask each other tbh. We’ll bring it up earlier in the day so we build up the anticipation with each other throughout the day, flirt with each other, gas each other up. All that. Then when it’s finally time at the end of the day, we usually fall asleep cause we’re so tired."
"But the cycle continues the next day!"
– supermariobruhh
People continued offering their wisdom.
Afternoon Hanky Panky
"The trick is to initiate sex during the day. We are both too tired at the end. Plus hanging out all day after is somehow more rewarding."
"Same goes for dates. Have sex at the beginning the date, then go enjoy your time together without any pressure."
– drneeley
Kids In The Equation
"This literally happened today with my wife and me. We have two toddlers so we’re extra exhausted. Earlier today we had the sexy initiation of 'hey, we both showered today, want to have sex after the babies are asleep?' 'Sure.'"
"Then when the kids were asleep, and my wife and I were getting settled into bed, she asked if I still wanted to. I said if she wants to I’m down, but I’m pretty tired and would be fine without it. She said she was also tired and could do without it. So we kissed each other good night and she went to sleep. I’m just winding down on Reddit for a few minutes before I also fall asleep."
"I know this is boring. I didn’t write this to tell an exciting story. Just to share what married life is like for me and probably the large majority of married couples, especially parents of young kids."
– MolotovCollective
Shadow Puppet Technique
"Use my phones torch to shine a shadow of my member up against the bedroom wall."
"Kinda like a bat signal of sorts."
– SchoonerOclock
Mood Lighting
"Turn off the lights and switch on the red lamp beside the bed."
– SuvenPan
Reliable Visual
"Walk by him while taking my top off. He follows me wherever I go and it's been 30 years and counting."
– LisaBooHigh
Every couple is different, and usually establishing a strong communication bond makes everything else in the relationship–including sexy time–falls in line effortlessly.
I knew a couple who made a game out of foreplay and agreed that whoever got home first from getting off work at the same time got to choose the sexual position that night.
They may no longer be together, but I remember them recalling how that technique was fun for them at the beginning stage and it took the pressure off of establishing when they were going to have sex.
Don't take get too anxious about it. It's just sex, and it's fun.
There are a number of things people partake in spite of the known possible ramifications they have on their health and safety.
Up to and including smoking, bungee-jumping, recreational drug use, or simply bike riding without a helmet.
Indeed, even though they know that doing any or all of these things could possibly lead to their death, they do it anyway.
Sadly, even though many people go out of their way to avoid doing these things for that very reason, that still doesn't mean they keep themselves completely out of danger.
Sadly, there are a surprisingly large number of things that lead to an even more surprising number of deaths each year.
Frighteningly, these are things that the majority of the world's population does on an almost daily basis.
"What causes death more than people realize?"
When In Doubt, Call Your Doctor!
"Untreated infections."
"Your body will become septic, in which it essentially kills itself trying to kill off whatever infection one has."- cacarrizales
"Infections that are left untreated."- raptor-99
Tread Carefully. Seriously.
"Tripping."
"On average around 17k people a year in the US die from injuries incurred after tripping and falling."- EdithWhartonsFarts
When In Doubt, Don't Drive.
"Driving while sleepy."- latchkey_adult
The Handrail Is There For A Reason.
"Stairs."
"20 million severe injuries each year and at least 200,000 death from consequences of the fall."
"Both my grandparents died because of a fall."- OnTheGoodSideofLife
They Happen To The Best Of Us
"Fall accidents."
"Especially among the elderly, a fall can create a cascade of events that results in death, even if it seems minor at first."-AdmiralBofa
Never Rush Chewing
"Mozzarella sticks."
"Statistically the most choked on food."- SpecSanders
Never Skip A Check-Up
"High Blood Pressure."
"It sneaks up on you and you don't know about it or don't care but it's the underlying cause of so many deaths."- Fear51
Never Underestimate The Importance Of Self Care
"Stress."
"Your body can only handle so much of it and it’s labeled the 'silent killer' for that reason."
"With your high blood pressure and the 5 hours of sleep a night because of the stress, It will creep up on you sooner than you think."- DroppedDonut
Don't Forget To Floss!
"Untreated dental problems."
"A cavity left untreated can lead to heart attacks and strokes."- Lastalmark
Flu Season
"Influenza."
"Just regular old flu."
"Many people ignore it thinking it'll go away on its own."
"Globally the number per year is usually between 300k and 500k."
"In the US it can be anywhere from 12k to 50k per year."- PhreedomPhighter
Don't Feel Ashamed If You Need A Break
"Shoveling snow."
"I have two family friends pass from heart attacks associated to shoveling the snow."- JD054
There Are People Who Will Help You
"Alcoholism causing liver failure and it's on the rise in the USA."- Interesting_Drop8236
"Peruse your County ME’s records."
"The amount of people who die from alcohol is astounding."- hockenduke
Sometimes, It's Just Best To Mind Your Own Business
"Street fights."
"You watch some Hollywood blockbusters and some MMA fights and you think you can do it too."
"I've seen stories of a guy minding his own business and gets rocked on the side of his head. It disconnected his spine and he was dead before he hit the ground."
"There was another story maybe a year ago of a scuffle where a guy was stabbed in the neck and bled out to the point of being unable to stand within 10 seconds."
"Stop f*cking around, it's not worth your life."- Choiceofart
We never know when our number is up or how we'll end our days.
However, with a little bit of care and good judgment, we can at least likely avoid falling victim to all of the above.
When Americans visit a foreign country, they tend to notice immediate cultural differences from the minute they step off the plane.
Unique bathroom designs, how you might have to be more specific when ordering coffee in Australia, how many businesses in Spain tend to shut down for a few hours to take a siesta.
Needless to say, this goes both ways, as when people from all over the world visit the United States, they tend to be surprised and amazed by a number of things.
Ranging from the amusing, such as portion sizes and ineffective tea brewing (at least for the Brits) to the truly baffling (HEALTHCARE).
"Non-American people, what’s a thing that you don’t understand about America?"
You Mean, People DON'T File Their Own Taxes Elsewhere?!?!
"Does every worker have to file their own taxes or am I just confused?"- ThePencil67
"Why they make you calculate your own taxes, if they know what you owe."- redder2023
Flagrant Commercialism...
"So, why do you buy politicians' merchandise? "
"Shirts, caps, banners, stickers, etc."
"They're public servants, not rockstars."
"Also, usually the more boring they are, the better."- akashyy
Conor Mckenna Influencer GIF by FoilArmsandHogGiphyWork/Life Balance
"Scottish person here but the work/always available for work culture."
"Minimal vacation time, minimal maternity/paternity leave and the fact you can pretty much just be let go."
"It makes me sad to think about it!"
"But I do love that you guys cram so much into your time off - you guys love a road trip!"- Frosty_Dragonfly_682
Definitely Something To Consider...
"What is up with Homeowner Associations?"
"Why would you pay to let a nosy neighbor dictate what you can and can not do on your own property?"
"I understand living in an apartment block and paying maintenance fees etc, but in a suburban home?"- Skoodledoo
There Are Some Good Observations
"The amount of National Parks!"
"My dream came true in 2017 to make an RV trip southwest off USA."
"Yosemite blew my mind away."- Independent-Ad9787
national parks GIF by Visit The USAGiphyHAHAHA
"How you can say the word 'mirror' without the use of any vowels."
"Mrrrrrr."- Otto1968
I Ordered A Small!
"Why everything is just SO damn supersized."
"My first time in America I went to get ice coffee from Dunkin Donuts, I ordered a large and my friend is like, 'are you sure you want large'?"
"Yeah no biggie, in the UK a large is not overwhelming I feel so I was expecting the same kinda thing."
"Oh my god it was like a god damn bucket of coffee."
"I think maybe a small would have been equivalent to a UK large, lesson swiftly learnt."
Some People Are Lucky To Just Have One Roommate...
"How you have to share a room with some complete rando when you go to college."- ChoppingOnionsForYou
Roommates Move In GIF by James Madison UniversityGiphySome People Just Can't Stop Talking
"The culture of just talking to people, strangers you don't know and just up and start a conversation with them or join a conversation."
"I'm British, and we go through great lengths to not talk to people, let alone open up and pour our hearts out to a random person."- MrGlayden
In Other Words: Severs Deserve to Be Paid More!
"The tipping culture is so foreign to me, I would be so scared to make a mistake or not tipping enough if I ever go to America because it's not something which is common here in Denmark."- Cupsuu
The Commercials, Maybe?
"I’m American but I’ve worked with a lot of people who aren’t."
"The one thing they always wonder is why Americans are so obsessed with the NFL."
"They think it’s a boring sport."
"They explained 'you wait for 30 seconds, they hike the ball, you get about 5-10 seconds of action, then you wait another 30 seconds, another 5-10 seconds of action, then commercial break'."- yougotthesilver12
Kansas City Chiefs Football GIF by Fighting Illini AthleticsGiphySchool Is No Place To Have Fun!
"My mom is from Moscow during the Soviet Era, and she is confused why there is no teacher-student hierarchy."
'She thinks it's weird when teachers participate in school plays or speak to students informally."
"She also DOES NOT GET pajama day."
"To her, it's just the weirdest thing in the world."
"In Russia, there is an important distinction between 'clothes for home' and 'clothes for outside'."
"They have a concept of 'home clothes', like your cozy or ugly clothes, that you are supposed to change into after school or work."
"At bedtime, you change out of your 'home clothes' into pajamas."
"As a result, pajamas, for both adults and children, are considered extra-extra private in Russia."
"My mom perceives pajama day as something extreme like wearing only undergarments to school."
"That's how private pajamas are considered to be in Russia!"- racheltolmach2022
A Debate Which Will Likely Never End
"MM/DD/YYYY"- SuvenPan
animation domination calendar GIF by gifnewsGiphyLiving in America comes with a number of advantages and a number of detriments.
Speaking personally though, had I known I wouldn't have to file my own taxes in Australia, I would have expatriated long ago...