Teachers Break Down Their Funniest 'Your Parents Clearly Did The Assignment' Experience
October 27 | 2020
Teachers have seen it all: horrifying bullies, brutal hygiene practices, sudden tragedy, the soaring highs and crashing lows of teenage love.
<p>Even a short career could cover each of those a few times. </p><p>And yet there is another characteristic teacher moment that seems to dominate more and more, particularly in recent times. It is, of course, the regular run-ins with overbearing parents.</p>
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<p>Often called helicopter, or even snowplow parents, these are the pressure packing driving force behind so many students from high school all the way down to elementary school.</p><p>These parents want success for their child at any cost and always. Anything less, as their logic would suggest, would initiate a calamitous chain reaction that would end in the utter downfall of the rest of that child's entire life.</p><p>This severe parent energy is expressed in many ways, both direct and indirect. One of the most common, however, is through <em>help </em>on homework assignments.</p><p>When a parent steps way too far in to help complete their child's project, it's obvious and frustrating for the teacher. Some of Reddit's teachers shared their favorite experiences.</p><p>scsm asked, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">"Teachers of reddit, what was the most obvious, 'your parents clearly did the assignment?'"</a></p>
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The Ideal Assignment
<p>"I taught elementary art classes for a few years, and a lot of time would have crossover lessons with certain subjects."</p><p>"One year we had the second graders do a project for their unit on Native Americans, where they had to make dioramas of a type of Native American house of their choosing, and then write a little two paragraph essay on who lived in that style of house and why it was built that way."</p><p>"Most kids made Tipis or wigwams out of construction paper and birch bark and paper towel rolls. we had a few kids who were clearly getting help from their parents, but it was obvious the kid had input and done the essay. Standard stuff."</p><p>"Then we had a kid come in with, I sh** you not, a completely accurate model of Cliff Palace, Colorado. It was stunning."</p><p>"Turns out, his dad was a sculptor, and his mom worked at our local museum, as a restoration expert."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9mi4cf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">fluxy2535</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Forging Ahead for Success
<p>"Penmanship - no kidding, kid had the maid write it." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9m1tfh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">neoldguy</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"When I was a babysitter in junior high/high school, I would promise the kid I was babysitting after school that if he did more than half of his math homework, I would do the rest if he went to bed on time."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I made sure to write exactly like him (holding the pencil awkwardly) and get enough wrong that it wouldn't be obvious."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I know it was wrong BUT I just wanted an hour to myself to watch TV!!" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9mvae4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Spasay</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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When Even the Kid is Upset
<p>"When the student came in crying while holding the project and when asked what happened she announced that she was frustrated that her mom did the whole project, it looked nothing like how she wanted it to, and wasn't allowed to really do anything on it."</p><p>"This wasn't the first assignment that came in from this student that was clearly done by the mum but the student finally had had enough of having her education taken from her."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9m9fzd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LucJenson</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Last Hurrah
<p>"6th grade research project that ended in a 3 page paper. One kid turned in a 10 page paper. And it definitely wasn't a bad attempt at plagiarism."</p><p>"It kind of felt like the mom was missing her own academic years."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9m3cl1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Lennysrevenge</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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The Plot Thickens
<p>"This discovery was a collaboration between me and another teacher."</p><p>"The student in question submitted an assignment that showed no cohesion or ability to connect ideas (Told me about how to 'make' detergent from kiwi fruit in 500 words, the task was a 1500 word assignment on a DNA extraction experiment)..." </p><p>"...and then the same week submitted an A standard assignment to their psychology teacher with excellent flow, arguments and great conceptual synthesis."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9mh708?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Adonis0</a></p>Collage
<p>"English as a foreign language teacher here. During lockdown last year a student sent in a test that had much better work than he usually did."</p><p>"When I googled his words, sure enough, he had copied it by mashing the first part of sentences from one source to the second part of sentences from another source. It did at least make sense, but it was still not his work."</p><p>"When I confronted him about cheating he said 'I don't think I cheated, cause my mom helped me with it and she wouldn't cheat!'" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9mslma?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">NonCaelo</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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That Craftsmanship
<p>"12-year-old kid brings in a BEAUTIFUL galleon. All the other kids' galleons look like they are cut out of styrofoam using a butter knife, or some kind of strange 50/50 amalgamation of cardboard and hot glue..." </p><p>"...and then there's this kid with a wooden galleon, complete with rigging, cloth sails, a stand...after talking to him I finally get him to admit that his parents had gone to a shop and ordered a custom-made ship."</p><p>"What the heck?!?" </p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9miold?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">schoonerw</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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A Shining Example
<p>"Not a teacher but in middle school I procrastinated as most kids do and forgot about project to make a brochure about a country. My parents stayed up all night helping me (doing the majority of it)."</p><p>"Years later underclassmen would tell me that same teacher would pull my project out every year and tell them what hard work looks like."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9m8n22?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">dahopppa</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
Jury's Still Out
<p>"Middle school science project, kid came in with a crude internal combustion engine, having previously failed science three quarters in a row." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9m1fkg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Emperor_Cartagia</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9m1fkg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I think some people are just naturally good at this stuff though."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I had a friend growing up who got horrible grades and was in trouble all the time at school."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"He would ask for me to come play with his go cart at their house and I always had to tell him no because to him playing with the go cart was taking it apart and putting it back together again. I wanted to drive the thing."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"He ended up failing out of high school and went on to a trade school and did much better." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9mfc76?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">tc3590</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Worst of Both Worlds
<p>"As a student, I remember in woodworking that we have to make a foldable chair that we have to work on the whole sem. In the end mine was a f***ing safety hazard aka it can be sit upon but there's like nails ready to skewer your a**."</p><p>"Scared to submit that i literally bought new materials outside class and let my dad do it. Teacher was shocked on how good it was and question my authenticity."</p><p>"In the end i confessed that it was my dad but my teacher's ego was so high probably thinking he can humiliate me in front of class so he told me to bring the 'original chair.' He sat on it and punctured his a** and fell because the chair did not support hos weight."</p><p>"I got suspended not because i hurt him but because i was cheating lmao"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9m3uav?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">joe_nard_vee</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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The Jig is Up
<p>"We were in quarantine for the final quarter of the year. I had a student transfer to my roster the first day of it. He completed all of his assignments and got 100s on all tests."</p><p>"I got him again this year. Kid can barely read, can't form a grammatically correct sentence and accomplishes nearly nothing."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9mwfpr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">MarilyPinkbee</a></p>Missing the Point
<p>"Every year I assign a problem the first day of Calculus to understand how the students handle stress, complete work, and their skill level. If an Engineer sees it they will solve it using material the students don't understand."</p><p>"Last year I got a new record of Engineers doing their children's homework. I also got an angry email from a parent (MS in CS from MIT) saying I shouldn't start with CALC III."</p><p>"I completed the problem and cited my sources in a Precalculus book."</p><p>"He then tried to hack my website with their homework problems. It also took him two days to write 5 lines of python for his daughter's homework."</p><p>"He's the head of the coding division for an aerospace company. He had a blog post about how over coming obstacles leads to growth. I hope his daughter gets to leave when she is 18 and find out who she really is."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9mk226?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TheNatureBoy</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Hired Hand
<p>"Pretty easy to tell in art class. One day the student can't draw a square properly and the next day he comes in with a perfectly rendered 3 dimensional still life with depth and shading."</p><p>"Separate incident, and even more egregious, a girl didn't even hand in a year end project herself. She spent many classes refusing to do any work in class."</p><p>"Then after the project is due, someone else I've never seen comes by with an amazing drawing and said that the student drew this and wants to submit it. Ummmm.... how stupid do you think I am?"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9mxln1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">silverplating</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_11" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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A Thankless Effort
<p>"I don't have one of these, but I have the opposite."</p><p>"One time I had a project where I had to make a miniature 'wattle and daub' wall in primary school. I knew how it was meant to work, and 'how' to do it, but for the life of me I couldn't get it to work."</p><p>"So my stepdad tried to help me. We spent <em>hours</em> trying to get it to work, and failed miserably, but in the end I had something to take to class."</p><p>"Teacher said I obviously hadn't spent any time trying to do it and failed me for the assignment."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9mwbxf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Musashi10000</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_12" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Only Half the Battle
<p>"A school chum mine once 'wrote' a perfect, amazing, compelling story for a French creative writing class. Only problem was they couldn't read it."</p><p>"Her mother had been forcing their au pair to do all of the friend's homework and the email to her. The mother never realized the friend knew zero French (because she wasn't actually learning it!) We were in boarding school."</p><p>"The French au pair took care of Friend's little brother back home. She had never met Friend and assumed Friend could read it."</p><p>"Friend's report is infamous for how awful it was to have heard. I felt both terrible for her and impressed that no one had caught her before this report."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9mha8y?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">lady_molotovcocktail</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_13" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Take Your Dad's Esoteric Weapons to School Day
<p>"Not a teacher. I was the student. Senior English."</p><p>"I rolled into school with a 18" tall, full steel, fully functional guillotine, bored to fit your standard #2 pencil to use it on for the demonstration. Cut many clean in half."</p><p>"I almost got suspended for bringing a weapon to school, after someone got their finger in under the blade, and it made its way to the bone from about 2". Had they had the blade all the way up when it slipped, it'd of taken their finger off."</p><p>"My dad was a machinist."</p><p>"A friend had a trebuchet, on a semi trailer. His dad parked it out front. We launched gallons of milk round about 500 yards with it. Hit a house over the football field, across the street, in a neighborhood."</p><p>"That was a fun day."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9mv3o8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TheMotorcycleMan</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_14" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Contemporary 'Coptering'
<p>"During quarantine, we have had to institute a no parents on the room with you who like you do schoolwork." </p><p>"The reason being a 16 year old girl and her mother would lie in bed together all class and the mother could be heard telling her daughter exactly what every answer was."</p><p>"I had the girl in previous years, and her homework was always leagues better than what she ever did in class, that explained a whole lot."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jfqxk3/teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_obvious_your/g9mwj99?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Ninjaraui666</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_15" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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People Break Down Which Lessons That Their Parents Taught Them That They Won't Pass On To Their Kids
October 06 | 2020
Image by Stephanie Pratt from Pixabay
Sometimes, the hardest part of being a parent is taking the things you hated and using them as lessons on what NOT to do.
<p>Even the most loving and well-intentioned parents screw things up. But not every parent is loving as well-intentioned. One Reddit user asked: </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/" target="_blank">What is one thing your parents taught you but you will never teach your children??</a></p><p>So yeah... this is a pretty solid "What Not To Do" list. </p>
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Just Chill
<p>That you need to hustle 100% of the time and be constantly busy with school/work, extra activities, side projects, cleaning etc. Spending time unwinding is a sign of laziness and boredom, and intelligent people are never bored. </p><p>This really messed me up and I'm still learning the art of wasting time. Don't get me wrong, I love laying in bed doing nothing but it usually comes with guilt that I could be more productive during this time. I'm still in the process of learning that rest is needed for a healthy and well functioning body and mind.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7en1lv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GlossyCinnamon</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Stop When You're Full
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDQ2NTYyMC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2ODQwMzQ4OX0.V9EOa3lUT1UwhN64EQ9lQ9UbVT56B8kXrog0omM3lO0/img.gif?width=980" id="9d1f4" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="84ed1233e67cdfe15b6b473a6729e183" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="498" data-height="452" />Full GIF by memecandyGiphy<p>Eat everything on their plate. I try to get my kids to make an effort to eat their meals, but I'm never going to punish them for not being hungry when I say so. Sometimes you start it and can't finish. Sometimes you just don't like it. Now if they keep saying they're hungry sometimes you gotta learn to take what you can get though.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7er0xp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Jay985</a></p><p>My parents were Depression-era kids, so they were taught that wasting food is a sin. I guess it was back then. But now I am trained to clear my plate no matter how full I am. It has been an uphill struggle to not teach my kids to do that.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7fgzwp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LiveShowOneNighOnly</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Cry
<p>That crying is shameful</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7ej8q9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">kirby_-_main</a></p><p>I'm trying to not teach mine this one. But I still feel REALLY ashamed when I cry. I'll say it's allergies rather than admit I'm crying. I HATE it if anybody sees me crying.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7foq2w?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">linuxgeekmama</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>"I'll give you something to cry about" was common for me. I hate it, I hate it so much.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7g56kq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">frostflame3</a></p><p>This. My father has always been well... mean. Then he will tell me to stop crying because it makes me look weak and I 'm stronger than that.</p><p>It really messes with me. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Even now as a grown adult struggle with embarrassment when I cry.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7fumd5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">bunnystrawbery</a></p>
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The "Awkward" Stuff
<p>That sex, sexuality, drinking/partying, politics, money, spirituality are awkward things to discuss. I want my future kids to know facts and that if they are ever in trouble, I am a safe place for them. We don't have to talk about it if they don't want to, they'll be taught how to be safe, but they should also know that these subjects are a part of life and should not cause shame.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7f6y4r?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">blahblah_blah16</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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A Crush Shouldn't Hurt
<p>"If a boy acts like a jerk, it means he likes you!"</p><p>No...just no...</p><p>First of all, he shouldn't be let off the hook for acting like a jerk. (Whether he's 5 or 105). Secondly, it teaches girls that abuse is okay, or that they should expect to be treated like crap (and that it's okay for them to be treated like crap.)</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7f87g5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">coffeeblossom</a></p><p>My daughter had a little boy that was picking on her and I was pissed. I asked her what would happen if Tati (her dad) pushed me off of the sidewalk or pulled my hair?</p><p>She said he wouldn't do that because he cares about me and that other little boys in the school are a lot nicer. That's damn right... you stay away from that little boy. That little boy is an a$hole and don't forget it. Oh! And at the start of the Coronavirus thing he was "blowing air" on her.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7fuy6r?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">NailFin</a></p><p>Oh my god this sh!t brought me into so many wired and some even abusive relationships. It actually taught me to choose the guys that were mean to me.. "because that must mean they like me right?"</p><p>Man...</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7fxo84?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">IOnlySewForMyself</a></p>
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Go Your Own Way
<p>That i basically have to be a smaller version of them, believe exactly what they do and not think for myself and have my own opinion. If I have kids id let them be open minded and believe what they want</p><p>I'm not saying I'll let them do whatever they want regardless of it being stupid or dangerous or harmful. I fully intend to offer guidance to them and try to reason with them if I believe something they think is wrong. I'm just not going to punish or censor them. </p><p>I've seen so many parents disown or punish their kids for leaving their religion or coming out as gay and it hurts me man. When they get older I believe they have the right to have their own opinions</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7eo6g9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">MrMartensite</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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The "Wait" Isn't Worth It
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDQ2NTYyNC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMTcyMDkyNn0.ckRqCdGWwKPUOdMaE4-DCtDffzF6360y9Ie2RAhMwUo/img.gif?width=980" id="675b8" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="e6623738d14fd13ddebff554b0c3d68b" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="288" />mr bean waiting GIFGiphy<p>To wait until marriage. </p><p>You know they won't anyway. The best you can do is teach them to be safe and pray they do ok.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7fhqvz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">10ismyfavoritedoctor</a></p><p>Same with a lot of things, actually. I know my daughter is going to have sex no matter what. I know she's going to try alcohol at some point. I know she's going to probably try pot. Her safety is my priority, so the sex talk is going to include how to stay safe, where the extra condoms are stashed, that it's perfectly okay to ask me any questions about sex (like, "x happened, is this normal?"), all about consent, etc. And about the effects of alcohol (based on science) and how to stay safe when drinking socially with friends. </p><p>Definitely would prefer if she didn't drink before 21, but if she's going to, might as well try to help her help herself not get absolutely shitfaced and possibly assaulted. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7g8dey?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jellyresult</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
Petty Party
<p>My mother celebrates her pettiness, and never misses an opportunity to take the low road or seek revenge. For example, she had a customer skip out on a $150 bill. My mom turned it into collections. </p><p>Years (and I mean yeeeeaaaaars) later, she was contacted by a debt management company looking to pay the $150 bill so the former customer could fix their credit to buy a house. My mom dodged the call for weeks ON PURPOSE just to be an a-hole and hold up the process. </p><p>She told me this story all proud and smug. I think she was expecting me to clap for her. I just stared in disbelief. My kid is being taught to show mercy when given the opportunity.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7ggpk2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">birdy_jenks</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Critically Critical
<p>Being hypercritical. My parents were very critical of me about so many things. My grades, my performance in extra circular activities, even how I did chores. What was worse was that they would often compare me to others as well, and would only ever praise me when they were basically bragging to other people. An example that always stuck with me was when I had a part time job as a waiter in high school, and my dad would often scold me for wasting my time at a a useless job instead of focusing on school, and how I was just gonna end up being a bum just like my older brother. But then when he's talking to his friends he brags about how his youngest son is so hard working, he even has a part time job in high school!</p><p>It's this sort of hypercriticism is why I struggle a lot with self esteem and confidence. What's worse is that I find myself even being hypercritical of other people's behavior, like if they make a mistake or don't do something how I would've done. I don't snap like my dad would do, but I still find myself immediately getting annoyed. It's something I'm working on, and hope to never do to my future kids.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7fa7cl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Mazes-n-monsters</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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"You Make Me Hit You"
<p>That a parent's feelings are more valid than the childs. </p><p>My mom did this once when I expressed to my dad that she constantly hurt my feelings. She came into my room after that since my dad had just tucked me into bed when I told him and she said and I quote, "I hurt your feelings? You hurt mine when *you make me* spank you or yell at you!"</p><p><br>Almost every time she spanked me (with what we call "The Board" which is basically a shaped piece of wood with a handle) it would be about me talking during church or playing with my friends in restaurants too loudly. She never said to quiet down, she'd say shut up/stop and threaten me with "licks" aka spanking me with "The Board". So I never felt like I could have fun as a child.</p><p>Basically, that's a trauma I'm still trying to get over. Though my confidence is getting better and I'm finally branching out and doing things by myself. (I say finally because I'm around 20 years old and have yet to ever have a job or adult properly.) I do still have trust issues and issues with feeling like how I feel is valid and okay but I'm working on it.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7fp6ac?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">zea-is-amazing</a></p>
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Homeless
<p>This might sound mean but to give to the homeless</p><p>My parents always gave their spare change to homeless people who would just use it for drugs or cigarettes. I think it's better to give them food. </p><p>We were poor growing up and I would have rather them saved the money for useful things for ourselves rather than have them give it to people who use it on drugs.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7zuumu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LiftingPhilosopher</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_11" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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The Neighbor's Daughter
<p>My dad, when I was like 13-14, says, "Son, the neighbor's daughter is ready for some sex education, get on it"... This is not something that helps you grow up to be in the proper mindset! </p><p>I know you guys are very curious... No, I didn't bang the neighbor's daughter! </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7y00n4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">adaniel65</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_12" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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An Intolerant Pot-Smoking Atheist
<p>My parents were extremely old fashioned in a lot of ways. My dad was a proud, racist, homophobic man that had a problem with everyone that didn't think the same way as him. </p><p>His lifestyle and ideals projected to my mother, who is mentally unstable and easily manipulated. My dad passed away when I was 11 but one of the things that really pissed me off as an adult (aside from his hateful nature) is them teaching me that if people don't think the same way as me, then I couldn't associate with them because they were horrible people. </p><p>For example, I wasn't allowed to hang out with any kids that didn't believe in God. They didn't have to be committed to a religion - but if their faith wasn't in god, I couldn't be their friend cause they would be a bad influence on me. </p><p>I've abandoned all his teachings, but that one has always kind of stuck with me and I hate it. Now that I'm my own person, I feel like I still project that behavior onto others based on their political views or religious views, and it's still something I have to correct in myself even though I'm a (in my dad's words) pot smoking atheist now.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7kegh1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Cheeto2Burrito</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_13" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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I Will Not Be A Karen
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDQ3Njc5My9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyNTcyODQ5Mn0.PNxwmqtw-V8q4IZps6a8n7IAwBF_5HeAbFGEjKzoJVw/img.gif?width=980" id="5f4c1" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="cce68c5beedb266fc00eda05b5dcee57" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="272" data-height="200" />Redhead Karen GIF by moodmanGiphy<p>My mom is very manipulative and she keeps trying to teach me how to be the same way. When I refuse to do something bad she gets a bit mad at me.</p><p>Sorry mom! But I will never follow your Karen footsteps</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7jft82?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FaeriesAreNotReal</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_14" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Maintaining The Un-Fun Things
<p>That you don't have to keep doing something if you don't feel like it. For example, when I was a child, my dad showed me all kinds of possible interests. Baseball, golf, cars, music, books, etc. Most of them I said "I don't feel like learning this any more" very early on. He was just like "okay". It worked out because I came around to find true interests in music and art, but i think It would be a good idea if there was just a bit more discipline imposed.</p><p>I'm not a parent yet, but I think maybe I would say: "You can't quit after three days. You're going to play for a season and stick it out. Then you can choose to quit. You'll learn plenty of lessons and maybe make some friends." (Of course that would change if they're traumatized or being bullied or something) It's important to learn that if you want to do something you need to stick things out when they're not fun. I still have a hard time knuckling down and getting to work unless I really feel like it.</p><p>I will have them do small chores as well. It doesn't have to be every week, they don't have to be punished or something. Teach them how to keep a clean house, how to maintain those un-fun things that are necessary in life. My first apartment in college became so messy. I remember not wanting to wash gross dishes and after a week I'd just throw them out. I had to learn on my own those seemingly simple things.</p><p>I suppose the thing they did best though was teach me how to learn. Learning is a bit of a skill. You need to be able to break down problems and identify obstacles. You need to be persistent and believe you can learn. If you have that skill plus some books or the internet, you can do anything.</p><p>These are super minor things, I had fantastic parents growing up, they were trusting, understanding, and never played head games or withheld love. If I was in trouble , they were mad, but I was still their child and loved. Come to think of it I was never in trouble much. My dad's dad used to use the belt, so he made sure to never hit me, I got time outs and groundings if I was really in trouble.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7j78n3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">shuttheshadshackdown</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_15" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Feeling Weird About Religion
<p>Religion, I guess. And I kind of feel a bit weird about it.</p><p>I grew up catholic but my parents were not militant about it. We went to church on Sundays, I went to Sunday school for a little while...but that was the extent of it. My parents never preached or made a big deal about it...they obviously believed in god and all that but we weren't living our lives for religion.</p><p>Then, two things happened: One day my mom was picking me up from high school and on the corner of the street were a ton of anti-abortionists on the holding graphic signs of aborted fetuses. My mom flipped out. My mom herself was mostly pro-life but she was absolutely livid that this group would expose kids to these really horrific images. I remember her getting out of the car and screaming at the top of her lungs at these people. She found out the people went to our church and we immediately stopped going.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_16" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>The second thing was when my grandfather died and we had a traditional catholic service in the church. The entire service was all about god. They barely said a single thing about my grandfather or what type of a person he was...it was just about god and everything else fell by the way side.</p><p>After that I rarely heard my mom ever talk about religion. I'm not sure where she stood after that.</p><p>When my kid was born there was never any talk from her about getting my daughter baptized. Never any talk about religion, really. I think I remember her teaching my daughter about the manger scene she put out for Christmas but that was about it.</p><p>I don't necessarily have an opinion one way or the other about religion. I don't think it's a bad thing but I find it difficult to believe it. My wife and I feel conflicted about religion in general (wife's parents were a bit on the wacky spiritual side) and it's become one of those things we just don't even discuss.</p><p>My mom died last year so I'll never know what she really believed. Like I think if it was important to my mom we would have had our kid baptized for her but it really doesn't mean anything to me either way. I just don't see it being a big part of our lives and I'm still trying to determine what I actually believe myself.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j3uuzd/what_is_one_thing_your_parents_taught_you_but_you/g7j6p0u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SeaTie</a></p>
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Parenting can be scarily overwhelming if you think about it for long enough. You're taking on the responsibility of not only keeping a tiny human alive, but helping them become decent human beings and good people.
<p>One Reddit user asked: </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/innwdc/whats_something_that_every_parent_should_tell/" target="_blank">What's something that every parent should tell their child?</a></p><p>Now we're normally not going to espouse getting your parenting advice from Reddit - but in this case a lot of the responses were really insightful. What does it mean to be safe, healthy, and happy? What makes a person empathetic and kind? What values are we trying to model and encourage in our kiddos? </p><p>Take a look at what people had to say. </p>
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Mistakes Matter
<p>Its alright to make a mistake, as long as you can admit it and grow from it.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/innwdc/whats_something_that_every_parent_should_tell/g48mzan?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LordPassionFruit</a></p><p>I'll go one step further. I teach little kids, and I tell them often that they HAVE to make mistakes to learn. I emphasize that the learning happens when we find and fix our mistakes. And when I make a mistake in front of them, I acknowledge it - and they encourage me. "Good job, Mrs. Rhymes, you helped your brain grow!"</p><p>I get so much satisfaction out of being the teacher I wish I had had.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/innwdc/whats_something_that_every_parent_should_tell/g49f5w3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sometimes-i-rhyme</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Sorry Doesn't Have To Be The Hardest Word
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzkwMDE4OS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY3NDgzMTQzOX0.KqT7QVxIHvFwuConmCclOvZF_grVwSTAuvVYRxJ-Sh4/img.gif?width=980" id="77ea4" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9a50b6ee262ff8f634fa63b03581d0b9" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="267" />Sorry Taylor Swift GIFGiphy<p>A good parent shouldn't be afraid to apologize to their kid when they're wrong.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/innwdc/whats_something_that_every_parent_should_tell/g48vq38?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Dr_Julian_Helisent</a></p><p>Yeah, if you can apologize to a 3 year old, you've got humility which, to me, is a very important trait to have as a human being, especially as a parent.</p><p>- <a href="Yeah, if you can apologize to a 3 year old, you've got humility which, to me, is a very important trait to have as a human being, especially as a parent." target="_blank">sewankambo</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>My dad has never to my recollection apologized. My mom only ever apologized in passive aggressive ways ("I'm sorry you were offended but...""I'm sorry you made me react that way but..."). As a result I probably over-apologize to my kids, but I want them to know that I'm human, I make mistakes, and those mistakes are never their fault.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/innwdc/whats_something_that_every_parent_should_tell/g49kbnl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">artisenalmoistening</a></p><p>When my son was a toddler I remember telling my mom that I apologized to him for some minor thing. She flipped out. I was spoiling him. I was teaching him not to listen to me. I was going to regret it when he's a teenager. I got so mad at her! I never heard her or my dad apologize when they fcked up. It was always my fault. I also wanted my kids to know I'm human and far from perfect instead of seeing me as some authoritarian who can never be wrong. Plus I think it helps them learn empathy and compassion - which there was very little of in my home growing up.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/innwdc/whats_something_that_every_parent_should_tell/g49wmfy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WasabiChickpea</a></p>
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Pride
<p>"I'm proud of you"</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/innwdc/whats_something_that_every_parent_should_tell/g48o3xc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">a_random_person_me</a></p><p>Be careful with this one. I say it to my son (3) frequently enough that I hear it back:</p><p>Good job finding Monster's Inc for me mommy! I'm so proud of you! Great job turning on my tablet mommy! I'm so proud of you! Thanks for bringing me my milk mommy! I'm so proud of you!</p><p>Maybe I should have waited? LOL</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/innwdc/whats_something_that_every_parent_should_tell/g493mhn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">dontletmeoutofmymind</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Come To Me
<p>If you make a mistake and need help, come to me. Kids tend to make bad situations worse by trying not to get caught. I know way too many people who got in drunk driving accidents because they were too afraid to call their parents for help and drove home or got in the car with a drunk driver.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/innwdc/whats_something_that_every_parent_should_tell/g48r7a8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">xandrenia</a></p><p>My mom told this to me and I think a lot more parents should:</p><p>"I don't care if you get too drunk at a party as long as you tell me and I can pick you up. I won't yell, I won't punish you, as long as you are responsible and it doesn't happen all the time."</p><p>In my opinion teaching your kids it's okay to be a bit rebellious, make mistakes, and live their life in their teens is a good thing to do. I never had a reason to not trust my mom because of this. Of course I got consequences for some things, but if I ever made a mistake and needed her, she was there.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/innwdc/whats_something_that_every_parent_should_tell/g498m5a?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">throw_away29890</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>I had to lie about everything growing up. My mother was so strict she tried to control everything from what music I listened to to what friends I could have. Mistakes were not tolerated. Now I'm in my 30s and she doesn't know me at all. I'm more of a distant acquaintance than a daughter.<br></p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/innwdc/whats_something_that_every_parent_should_tell/g49ash0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">flower_goblin</a></p><p>It's also harder for people who grew up like this to form healthy boundaries with risky behavior. You can't properly assess risk if drinking a beer has the same consequences as smoking meth.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/innwdc/whats_something_that_every_parent_should_tell/g49ig1f?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">SJ_Barbarian</a></p>
Let It Go
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzkwMDI4MC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MTU1MTQ5M30.u6NgyL2ra_lG5YZxwYA2pzm-Qc0oRYDtyvqQx3QVrTQ/img.gif?width=980" id="27aef" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="046900d8734e02f3fb8288eb21a3e7d9" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="247" />let it go GIFGiphy<p>You will always be my child, and I'll always want to take care of you, but you have the right to ask me to let go when you feel the time is right. If you try to make it on your own but fall, call me anyway. I want to be there to catch you.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/innwdc/whats_something_that_every_parent_should_tell/g48x48z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">nimezs</a></p><p>After all, parents can't drive forever- at some point the kid needs to take the wheel. A parent's job is to make sure the kid is confident enough to ask for help when they need it, they don't need to know everything.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/innwdc/whats_something_that_every_parent_should_tell/g49fed2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">chessboardknightbard</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Abuse And Affection
<p>Whenever another kid is being mean to them, physically or verbally, don't tell your child that the other kid was being mean to them because they like your child. Your child might grow up mistaking abuse for affection.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/innwdc/whats_something_that_every_parent_should_tell/g48xiws?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">chickenstockandchili</a></p><p>Also, explain WHY That behavior is unacceptable, when it's used on TV. Even in 2020, kids shows STILL show the "If he/she is mean, they love you" and tries to justify it. One reason I won't show my littlest relatives the Big Hero 6 cartoon is the issue I have with it's plotline of "Karmi is a bully to Hiro, accuses him of attacking her when he didn't, writes uncomfortable things about him online and posts videos of his failures online - but she has a crush on him so it's 100% okay and not a sign of someone who needs to get her head out of her ass."</p><p>Like... that is the entire plotline for those two characters for ages. And it's concerning that, this is a show aimed ultimately at kids. Adults can enjoy it, but it's far from healthy to show to young boys and girls that if someone hurts them/is rude to them, that it's okay. Kids absorb SO much from their media, it's worth being said.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/innwdc/whats_something_that_every_parent_should_tell/g4bh4by?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Storm137</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Input Is Important
<p>'I appreciate your input. You won't always be right and what you say won't always change my mind but I still value your opinion.'</p><p>Communicate with your kid, most of the time you will know better than they will but at least listen to what they have to say. Remember to also keep an open mind and be willing to compromise.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/innwdc/whats_something_that_every_parent_should_tell/g48shq6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aussieboi393</a></p><p>And, even better, listen to them and <em>actually consider when you might be wrong</em>. And then admit that, too!</p><p>- <a href="And, even better, listen to them and actually consider when you might be wrong. And then admit that, too!" target="_blank">BrilliantBlue22</a></p><p>I grew up hearing this, and this really has made me assertive and confident enough to boldly state my opinions and accept and correct them when I'm wrong.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/innwdc/whats_something_that_every_parent_should_tell/g4bix7y?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">frostymoonlight75</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
Continuous Consent
<p>I've talked about consent very early with my kids (they're 4 and 7 now), and it's honestly super easy to explain and demonstrate in an age appropriate way.</p><p>My 4 year old loves being tickled, finds it absolutely hilarious. So we have tickle-fests, and I make a point to stop when he's laughing too hard to talk and ask if he wants me to keep tickling. Toss in a "Okay, I just wanted to make sure you were still having fun! Raaaar, the tickle monster is back!" and boom, now you're modeling checking in and continuous consent. The second he says no, full stop.</p><p>They need to politely greet and say goodbye to people (the host if we're visiting friends, plus grandparents, etc), but they do not need to allow physical contact that they don't want. Wave and "bye Ms. X, thanks for having us!", handshake, etc is fine. Absolutely no guilting from people if they don't want a hug or whatever.</p><p>Both are super affectionate with their friends (and each other), so I've had plenty of opportunities to remind them to ask before they hug, just because they wanted to hug/ hold hands/ whatever last time doesn't mean they do this time <em>and that's okay</em>, just because that's your sibling doesn't mean you can do whatever you want, etc.</p><p>Basically, it's not just a one time "no means no" explanation; I feel like modelling it consistently is really important and sometimes gets overlooked a bit.</p><p>This has admittedly led to a few times when my oldest has yelled "I said no! No means no, mom!" At me when I've told her to stop playing or do her homework or whatever, but we're working on the distinction!</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/innwdc/whats_something_that_every_parent_should_tell/g49antk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Platypus211</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Young children are powerless little monsters. They depend entirely on their parents or guardians for food, warmth, hygiene, and emotional well-being.
Yes, that can be a total hassle. But there is something so endearing, so fulfilling about providing for such a vulnerable person. When that vulnerability has left and gone, that crash-down-to-earth feeling of a parent is palpable.
<p>The means that prove the great shift are varied. </p><p>Sometimes it’s a look in eyes. It can be behavior observed from far away.</p><p>Or maybe it’s a subtlety of speech: a sly new absence of permission- seeking can hammer it home too.</p><p>cyclone1865 asked, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">"Parents of Reddit, when was your 'Damn, my kid isn't a kid anymore' moment?"</a></p>
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When “Legal” is More Important than “Allowed”
<p>"I was on vacation in the Bahamas. Atlantis resort. I was in the casino at a video poker machine, and my daughter sat down at the machine next to me...drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other."</p><p>"For about a nanosecond I wanted to scold her, but then remembered that she was 20."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl02xkb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">gogojack</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Wind Out of the Sails
<p>"When I was starting to get after my son about cleaning his room, and suddenly realized I was looking up at him." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl00z7q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">Sixthman27</a><span></span></p><p>"I'm 5'2. I'll be looking up at my toddler in no time." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl1nb46?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">Zer_0</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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A Profound Absence of Question Marks
<p>"When my oldest just recently said, 'Mom, Dad, I'm moving. Here are my plans, this is who I'm moving in with, and here is how I'll handle my part of the bills.'"</p><p>"Hit me like a ton of bricks."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl0j3ng?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">tarnin</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Handing Over the Reins
<p>"Running through the Toronto airport trying to catch our flight that was leaving in 5 minutes. I hear 'Dad! Not that way, this way!'"</p><p>"She basically took charge from that moment on because she had a cooler head in that moment than I did."</p><p>"We made it to the plane with seconds to spare."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl0nsys?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">imk</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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He’s Who’s Driving the Bus
<p>"When he hugged me as I buckled into my airline seat -- then walked forward and entered the cockpit." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl0li26?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">pullin2</a><span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Can't wait to do that. Give my mother a great big hug as a thanks for all the stress and hardship my piloting career is gonna give her when I start soon." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl25uyp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">tHaTwAsChEeSy</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Outdoing the Master
<p>"My boy who is 3 and a half years old fell in love with Mario kart when I play on the switch. On his 4th day of playing, he drifted." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl0ucn7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">JT_the_Irie</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I spent my entire childhood not knowing you could drift, so he's like 15 years ahead of me."-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl1cd6i?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">Sharpman76</a></p>Didn’t Even Feel the Need to Share About it
<p>"A local news channel interviewed my 16 year old son about how he was feeling about the schools in our area closing for a month due to the pandemic. Most of the interview clips they showed in the segment were from my son, but he didn't mention it to me." </p><p>"A relative sent me a link to the story that evening and I watched it three or four times, with tears in my eyes. His answers were so articulate and mature, and he looked so grown up and comfortable in front of the camera."</p><p>"It was kind of like seeing him through someone else's eyes and realizing all of the sudden that he's a young man, not really a kid anymore."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl1cgaf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">VanswobbleTheRobber</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Proof is in the Plate
<p>"When I started plating four same sized plates of food for dinner." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl0bv9w?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">ncconch</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My daughter's nearly 2 and we're far from this stage at the moment. The other night however, we were eating a pasta bake. This girl would just not stop eating, demolished 2 portions then went on to start picking from my plate." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl0uxvn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">Flopper2k19</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Conveyed through Materials
<p>"I was separating laundry and I couldn't tell my wife's and my daughter's underwear apart." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl0n1ts?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">theworldisaniceplace</a><span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My daughter is 8 and my wife wears sensible, comfortable britches. This is me everytime the laundry is done and the first time it happened it was just weird emotionally for me." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl1829n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">flperson</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
No Questions Asked
<p>"Besides the fact that he's made me a grandmother (with help from my lovely daughter in law, obviously), there was a recent family tragedy, and they really stepped up and took charge when it was needed."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl0pmmo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">lost40s</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Apparently Mario Kart Milestones are Common
<p>"When she was 5, my daughter kicked my ass in Mario Kart. Tbh, I was rusty and she had been playing for months and had gotten quite good."</p><p>"I could see in her eyes that she lost a bit of respect for me that day."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl0g3eg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">TheNameIsPippen</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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To Be Fair, She Sounds Like She Moves Fast
<p>"When she looked at me with disdain & said "take your money back" after the tooth fairy visited. She's 7." -- Pointer_Brother</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Mine was when my twin boys about the same age tried to scam the tooth fairy. They tried to kick each others teeth out. Luckily they told me they had lost a tooth when they got the first one out." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl1sqyw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">Ak_Lonewolf</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"See, my brother and I just lied about believing in the tooth fairy as long as we could to con my parents. She just gave up a goldmine." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl0sa42?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">CultOfWawa</a></p>A Wake Up Call that Comes with an Image
<p>"The day I found my Unscented Lubriderm chilling on his nightstand. </p><p>"Oh. So that's now a thing." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fkzye4q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">LittleMissWu</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I would die a little inside. My son is that age. I'm wondering when or where I will find the evidence." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl1y7fb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">HotDem70</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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The Need for a Entirely New Logic
<p>"I don't remember exactly when or what had happened, but I was talking to my wife about something the oldest did and suddenly realized that I had to start punishing him differently."</p><p>"All of the kid things (taking away toys, go to your room, etc) wouldn't phase him anymore as he was no longer caring much about those things."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl0p8nx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">CrustyBatchOfNature</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_11" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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You're Both Just Employees Now
<p>"Unfortunately, that moment when my kid had to go to work during a pandemic and I got to laze at home." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl0frxr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">billyblue22</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Yeah, my lazy butt is home (job is closed) and my daughter, a nurse, is at work." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl1vdq6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">Mysid</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_12" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Disney Movies: Less Appropriate with Age
<p>"When I was watching an animated Disney movie (no, I don't remember which). There was an adult joke hidden within the normal dialog. I thought it was funny, but was keeping my mouth shut."</p><p>"My daughter busted out laughing.....that was when I knew that she was no longer a baby."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl1agua?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">daddyeart</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_13" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Socratic Dingbats
<p>"They (similar age) started fighting, but instead of the usual shit flinging or throwing punches, they started throwing actual <em>arguments</em> at each other."</p><p>"Like, actually making sense. And they were even replying to each other's arguments with more arguments!"</p><p>"It took like 20 seconds before they went back to sh*t flinging, but for a moment I could see the future."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl1vu8d?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">Nomapos</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_14" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Mothering an Adult
<p>"I asked my mom this and she said it was when she had to go to the bus stop to drag my drunk ass home after I had already missed it once. Not my proudest moment."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flpv7i/parents_of_reddit_when_was_your_damn_my_kid_isnt/fl0ppa3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">MarketLibertarian</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_15" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Kids ask the darnedest questions.
<p>Remember being young and filled with curiosity and imagination? The world is a confusing place, and when you're a child, you can't help but to ask questions to adults to try to better understand it. But a kid's logic isn't like an adults, and sometimes a youngster's thought process can leave us grown ups dumbfounded. </p><p>Redditor u/rivergame <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/f790ep/parents_of_reddit_what_why_has_your_toddler/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf" target="_blank">asked parents about the craziest questions that their kids have asked them.</a> Questions so strange, that even Google can't answer! </p>
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10. Would a dinosaur care to know about us?
<p>"Not my child but my little cousin asked me did dinosaurs know humans could be fat"</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/f790ep/parents_of_reddit_what_why_has_your_toddler/fiadht2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf" target="_blank">The-Lorax99 </a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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9. You never truly know your neighbors
<p>"I got really excited the other day when my 7yo asked me why some trees lose their leaves in the winter but 'pine trees and other spiky trees' keep theirs. I did a brief explanation about the difference between deciduous and coniferous trees and how chlorophyll is collected and stored. It went great. He immediately followed it up with, 'How do we know that some cities and houses actually have real people in them and aren't really just full of plastic cut outs that look like people?'"</p><p><br><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/f790ep/parents_of_reddit_what_why_has_your_toddler/fiaefve/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf" target="_blank">SmithOfTheWild </a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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8. If your coworkers are cool - the employee bathroom
<p><br>"She asked me if employees come to their work on their off day, do they get to use the employee bathroom or the customer bathroom."</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/f790ep/parents_of_reddit_what_why_has_your_toddler/fiab26x/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf" target="_blank">youreawizardhailley </a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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7. When Google wins on a technicality.
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjc4NzEzNS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzODgzNDc2N30.96DkTN-YtGCJjAD_rM9s0w4Lp5FV0HaQe8Z96ceW97E/img.gif?width=980" id="b02dc" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9bda768dd86c4a924f362812cd4b7d77" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="250" data-height="231" />Giphy<p>"My 4-yr-old asked me, 'How many arms does an octopus have?'</p><p>'Eight,' I replied.</p><p>'Hmm, let's ask google,' my son said, doubting the veracity of my answer.</p><p>'Fine,' I say. 'OK Google, how many arms does an octopus have?'</p><p>'Six,' she replies.</p><p>Aughhhhhhh. Thanks a lot, Google."</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/f790ep/parents_of_reddit_what_why_has_your_toddler/fiagq3m/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf" target="_blank">pip_pop_picklefish </a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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6. But Google doesn't know everything about the animal kingdom
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjc4NzE0Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1NzcwNjY0OH0.LlQtBS4bA-q8iF63etrGOCPMIvUTwwHLGbq2d-e-y88/img.gif?width=980" id="723c4" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="873e6a423b55fa779f4c2b9e63282cd4" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="213" />Giphy<p><br>"'Do caterpillars burp?'<br>Google had no idea."</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/f790ep/parents_of_reddit_what_why_has_your_toddler/fiacayo/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf" target="_blank">hahahahthunk </a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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5. She's going to love Ancestry DNA
<p><br>"My niece, 5 at the time, asked me who was the first mother.. I was confused and asked 'what do you mean? Your mother's mother?' And she goes, 'no, my mother's mother had a mother, and then she had a mother too, but how far does it go, who was the first mother?'"<br></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/f790ep/parents_of_reddit_what_why_has_your_toddler/fiabnvi/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/f790ep/parents_of_reddit_what_why_has_your_toddler/fiabnvi/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf" target="_blank">IndigoMinded </a></p>4. I ask this question daily
<p><br>"'Come on baby, it's time to get dressed and get out of bed'</p><p>'We do this every day. Why, Mama?'</p><p>Good point, go back to bed."</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/f790ep/parents_of_reddit_what_why_has_your_toddler/fia9p0d/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf" target="_blank">Greyskiesgreeneyes </a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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3. Pee hose
<p><br><br>"'Mom why don't I have a pee hose like the boys?'</p><p>I laughed so hard, I couldn't come up with a legit answer."</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/f790ep/parents_of_reddit_what_why_has_your_toddler/fia84c6/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf" target="_blank">Smec1207 </a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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2. Perhaps recycled is the best?
<p>"My cousin who's like 4 asked me at a family gathering 'what's the best paper?'</p><p>Months ago and I'm still wondering what he meant"</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/f790ep/parents_of_reddit_what_why_has_your_toddler/fiaajlg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf" target="_blank">Cloofwater**** </a><br></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
1. Why isn't Spider-Man more realistic?
<p>"My little cousin once asked why Spider-Man doesn't shoot webs out of his butt like a normal spider. I still don't have an answer for him."</p><p><br><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/f790ep/parents_of_reddit_what_why_has_your_toddler/fiaezza/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf" target="_blank">MountainDou </a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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