Men Describe The Double Standards They Experienced That Women Do Not
Andrew Neel on Unsplash

The notion that it is socially unacceptable for one gender to engage in behavior typically reserved for another gender is outdated and ridiculous.


Curious to hear examples of double standards applied to men, Redditor ENTPain asked:

"What is a double standard that you have experienced as a guy but is seen as okay if you were a girl?"

Men discuss the double standards they've faced as it pertains to children.

Child Affection

"Kissing children. Got a rude awakening when I was in public with my nephew. He was being cute (as always) so I gave him a kiss on his forehead and cheeks."

"Someone 'politely' told me that it was weird that I was giving him affection like that and I was just shocked. I felt like if it was a girl they wouldn’t be told off about this."

"I don’t care what the public thinks though, my nephew and my new niece are getting all the hugs and kisses from me, the cooler uncle."

– UnwitheredKing

Custody Battle

"Somehow when it comes to kids the mom is more important, one of my good friends is having a rough breakup after his girlfriend of 10+ years went on a retreat with her friends from college. She f'ked 10+ guys, got pregnant and did not know who, got aggressive when my friend tried to reason with her because of the kids (they have 2, 4-year-old and a 2-year-old) and hit him hard enough in the face to chip a tooth."

"When they separated he filed for custody since, the judge called in favor of her, even after blaming the sex vacation on the copious amounts of drugs she did while she was at the retreat. She seemed a better parent to have sole custody over a boring dude that has a stable job, loves his kids more than anything, and even after this whole ordeal did not want to destroy the ex for ruining his life."

– Amelsander

Helping The Kid

"Interacting with children in public."

"I.E. a lost child, if a man tries to help, he is perceived as creepy at best, predatory at worst. While a female is just seen as caring and compassionate."

– ELPwork

Pretty In Pink

"Hetero dude here, went shopping with the kids today and saw a gorgeous pink pearl new Accord, and had to park next to it to get a closer look. Woman was getting into it and just had a confused look when I told her how incredibly awesome I thought it looked."

– wrencherspinner

Big Brother's Experience

"Taking my bro (16 ys difference) to a pool or an amusement park ... even if my stepmom is there , weird looks"

"Edit (i cant answer to all under here). I am european, and yes being an adult taking my younger bro out, i get lots of weird looks, i look too young to be his father , but too old to be his brother, if his mother is with us then suddenly she is the creep for having a younger boyfriend tho."

– SnooOpinions2673

Dad Skips, Gets Praised

"Not quite what the question is asking, but it iritates me as a father."

"When I take care of my daughter, doing simple things like feeding her or just skipping down the sidewalk or talking nonsense, people feel a need to tell me I'm 'such a great father' and 'wish there was men like you' like.... okay, you obviously have shitty people in your life, I'm doing my job, and it iritates my wife because she does the same thing and everyone just thinks it's normal."

– velikost-commander

The Ultimate Decision

"Fathers often don’t get custody of their kids in court."

– Burrito_Loyalist

Relationship issues were discussed.

Reaction To Rejection

"My highschool girlfriend physically attacked me the day I broke up with her. In retrospect there were red flags but at the time it was completely unexpected."

"She clawed at my face and sank her teeth into the inside of my thigh next to the groin. It was horrible."

"With the exception of my mom, no one I told gave the slightest sh*t about what had happened. In fact, I had to spend weeks concerned she would tell someone I'd victimized her."

"She left threatening voicemails and stalked me at work for a couple of months afterward. I also got a series of mysterious flat tires."

"Again, no one cares. You're a man and you need to look after yourself."

– lordorwell7

Assuming Position

"This one is much more lighthearted than some of the other comments on here, but omg I want to be the little spoon, idc that I’m 6’2” I just wanna be cuddled from behind like I’m in a little cocoon of happiness."

– KingOf_Anarchy

Feeling Violated

"Sexual assault. Specifically when it’s unwarranted touching/groping from girls on a night out or 'just having fun.'"

"If a guy does it it’s justifiably vilified, but the guy is usually told/asked if they’re gay to not want to be touched by a girl even if it’s unwanted."

– Leeono

The Risk

"Girls would grab my ass all the time in high school, even a girl that was underage, when I was 18 lol. If I grabbed her a** I’d risk jail time."

– SteeztheSleaze

Being inconvenienced is not exclusive to women.

Toilet Swap

"Last Christmas I went to waddesdon in Oxfordshire (UK) with my family to see the Christmas lights. When we got to the toilets I found that they had changed both male and female toilets to be female and moved men to plastic construction site style portaloos. These had no lights or running water. I was looking to change my infant sons nappy but couldn’t because baby changing facilities were in the toilets."

"When I complained I was told that one of the portaloos had a plastic shelf I could have used and that it was a 'practical solution to reducing queuing for the female toilets' because they tried adding the toilets for everyone but the women would rather queue up for the real toilets, so their solution was to force men to use them. Just imagine if they had done this the other way around?! I feel sorry for single dads and gay couples with children."

– Sharpax

Vertically Challenged

"Being short."

– JazzyPhotoMac

Taste For Cute

"Liking cute things."

– MKQueasy

"Definitely liking cute things is a right for everyone for God's sake 😤"

– The Original Poster (OP)

Good Company

"Taking my bro (16 ys difference) to a pool or an amusement park ... even if my stepmom is there , weird looks."

"Edit (i cant answer to all under here). I am european, and yes being an adult taking my younger bro out, i get lots of weird looks, i look too young to be his father , but too old to be his brother, if his mother is with us then suddenly she is the creep for having a younger boyfriend tho."

– SnooOpinions2673

Being Stalky

"Stalking or being 'creepy' in general seems to be fine if you are a girl, but not if you are a guy."

"I have a girl friend who openly admits to having folders on her phone filled with photoes of random people like her teachers from univerity (male ones) and I have never heard anybody saying its inappropriate."

– Threeth_

Do any of these examples shared by male Redditors sound familiar to you?

If you or someone you know experienced sexual assault, help is out there. You can reach the RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline by calling 1-800-656-4673, use their Live Chat tool: https://www.rainn.org/get-help, or visit the National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s website.

In Canada, help is available through the Ending Violence Association of Canada website.

International resources can be found through the Rape Crisis Network Europe website.

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