Kids ask the darnedest questions.
Remember being young and filled with curiosity and imagination? The world is a confusing place, and when you're a child, you can't help but to ask questions to adults to try to better understand it. But a kid's logic isn't like an adults, and sometimes a youngster's thought process can leave us grown ups dumbfounded.
Redditor u/rivergame asked parents about the craziest questions that their kids have asked them. Questions so strange, that even Google can't answer!
10. Would a dinosaur care to know about us?
"Not my child but my little cousin asked me did dinosaurs know humans could be fat"
9. You never truly know your neighbors
"I got really excited the other day when my 7yo asked me why some trees lose their leaves in the winter but 'pine trees and other spiky trees' keep theirs. I did a brief explanation about the difference between deciduous and coniferous trees and how chlorophyll is collected and stored. It went great. He immediately followed it up with, 'How do we know that some cities and houses actually have real people in them and aren't really just full of plastic cut outs that look like people?'"
8. If your coworkers are cool - the employee bathroom
"She asked me if employees come to their work on their off day, do they get to use the employee bathroom or the customer bathroom."
7. When Google wins on a technicality.Giphy
"My 4-yr-old asked me, 'How many arms does an octopus have?'
'Eight,' I replied.
'Hmm, let's ask google,' my son said, doubting the veracity of my answer.
'Fine,' I say. 'OK Google, how many arms does an octopus have?'
'Six,' she replies.
Aughhhhhhh. Thanks a lot, Google."
6. But Google doesn't know everything about the animal kingdomGiphy
"'Do caterpillars burp?'
Google had no idea."
5. She's going to love Ancestry DNA
"My niece, 5 at the time, asked me who was the first mother.. I was confused and asked 'what do you mean? Your mother's mother?' And she goes, 'no, my mother's mother had a mother, and then she had a mother too, but how far does it go, who was the first mother?'"
4. I ask this question daily
"'Come on baby, it's time to get dressed and get out of bed'
'We do this every day. Why, Mama?'
Good point, go back to bed."
3. Pee hose
"'Mom why don't I have a pee hose like the boys?'
I laughed so hard, I couldn't come up with a legit answer."
2. Perhaps recycled is the best?
"My cousin who's like 4 asked me at a family gathering 'what's the best paper?'
Months ago and I'm still wondering what he meant"
1. Why isn't Spider-Man more realistic?
"My little cousin once asked why Spider-Man doesn't shoot webs out of his butt like a normal spider. I still don't have an answer for him."
Banning and censorship is nothing new in America.
Or, in the world at large really.
It all starts on a small scale.
They start stripping us of things at school and work.
You know, all for the greater good.
Redditor t0rnado_thegamerwanted to discuss the items that have been taken out of circulation for ridiculous reasons. They asked:
"What's the stupidest thing your school/work banned?"
I feel the banning has only just begun. But let's see what we've already lost.
FallenGIF by LeannimatorGiphy
"We weren't allowed to build a snowman because it 'might fall on you.' They suggested we build a 'snow forest' instead - snowballs on the ground > 1 meter apart. Nobody built snow forests."
"6th graders and only 6th graders weren't allowed to draw outside of assigned art projects. I heard any number of reasons for the ban--'gang signs,' vandalism, distraction--but never got one for why the ban didn't apply to 5th or 7th graders. My only guess is that one of the 6th grade teachers just really hated seeing children's artwork."
"My primary school (age 5 to 11) in the UK banned talking during lunch. Every single child had to eat lunch in a big room, in absolute silence. No talking to friends or socialising allowed. It was pretty insane now I think about it."
"I was gonna comment this too. My school banned talking at lunch if it got too loud. We had a cup at each table the teachers would make us turn them over and stop talking frequently each lunch."
"The theory was that someone would choke and no one would hear them if it was loud. Incidentally, the only time somebody choked was during a period of quiet and nobody knew because YOU CAN’T TALK WHILE CHOKING!! The person was fine though."
The Rule Book
"The lack of shoes, as in there is an specific rule against it detailing what should and should not be worn in your feet, all this because a friend of mine read the Rule book and it only said that 'Students must always come wearing appropriate pants and shirts that do not break the etiquette code.' He went to school with shoes and took them off at the entrance for a semester just to piss off the principal. I love that guy."
CodeCharlie Brown Snow GIFGiphy
"Anything with a snowman on it. Apparently that was code for cocaine."
Wow, Snowmen really get a bad rap out in these streets.
OuchGo Easy On Me GIF by AdeleGiphy
"We weren't allowed to say anything was easy because it might hurt the feelings of kids who didn't think that thing was easy."
"Back in my high school, they banned water bottles unless they were clear bc people had been sneaking alcohol into school, but like clear alcoholic drinks are a thing?? so it basically did nothing."
"Our school did that, too, after previously banning water bottles altogether. One of my teachers then got really bent out of shape about so many people using disposable plastic bottles but the school was really strict about how clear your water bottle had to be and not everyone had a qualifying reusable bottle on hand so what did she expect?"
in the ye' olden days...
"Bottle flipping when that was a trend in the ye' olden days long since forgotten. I don’t know why, and it’s not like they did a good job telling us about the ban so my first and only detention I’ve ever gotten was from flipping a stupid water bottle. That and the 'fight club' that formed in PE but that’s a different story."
"Probably Yugioh cards.They were banned because a group of moms made up a rumor that in another unspecified country a kid had died while holding a fiend-type monster, so clearly they were satanic. Years later I learned that one of those moms was my friend's mom and she just didn't want to buy the cards for her son."
Ho Ho HoMerry Christmas Reaction GIF by Macy'sGiphy
"Saying Christmas. Had to be called 'the current religious festival.' And no decorations were allowed."
Why are we banning the wrong things? This is nonsense.
People say parenting is one of the most rewarding things in life. That all of the lack of sleep, constant crying, and stress is worth it when you see your baby smile. And all of that is true, for the most part.
However, being a parent is hard, and it's not always easy to give that unconditional love. Sometimes, you do your best for your kids and they still turn out to be people you can't really reconcile with.
You'll always love your kids, but sometimes it's near impossible to like them.
Redditor eyriesistable asked:
"At what point did you realize you don’t like your own kid?"
Some Reddit Users Talked About Momentary Dislike
These are parents of young, cute toddlers and are mostly joking about disliking their kid.
Laughing At Pain
"My 2 year old just yanked my hair and laughed when I said 'ouch!'. I still love him but he's a little f*cker sometimes."
The Classic Toddler Offense
"My two year old got sent home from daycare today because he bit three different kids, unprovoked, before noon."
"He stole my cat."
"Only 18 months old the little prick and he's always had a fascination with animals, any time he sees one he points, starts walking towards it going "aaaaaaaww""
"Anyway, me and my cat used to be best buddies but currently my cat is sat in his lap whilst he's stroking him going "aaaaaaaww""
"And it's the same every day"
A Drinking Problem
"I walked in to her room and caught my kid sitting on her bed drinking a Pepsi. She has always known we are a Faygo household. I can look past some things but when you disrespect me in my own house I just don’t know how you get past something like that."
Waiting To Get Her Back
"Every time the lil' f*cker wakes us up before 5 am. Can't wait untill her teenage years, I will be up at dawn every day asking why she isn't getting out of bed and make some of her day instead. Revenge is only 10 years away."
Others Talked About Issues That May Never Be Resolved
These are parents who don't like their kids' personalities and don't see anything ever changing.
A Missing Bond
"For real, I used to have an issue for several years with my three daughters. I didn't feel the parental love that one would expect. I would still protect them from harm and all that but I did not have the emotional connection I thought I would with my kids. I spoke out of concern with my wife about it several times and she suspects that it was how I was raised by an abusive father figure. Nowadays the love is there but I feel that I missed out on too many things when they were growing up. I did not bond when I was supposed to I guess. I never really went out of my way to hold them when they were little. I just pray that I hid that fact well enough from them that they don't find out. I don't want them to think I don't care..."
Some Of Them Want To Use You
"When they became a narcissistic adult-trash talking everyone for attention, me included. They are a user (of people) like I’ve never seen before. I still love them, but do not like them."
0 for 3
"My grandmother had 3 kids and doesn't like any of them. Loves all three but doesn't like them. The first is just an a-hole who used her for money and her house like a hotel. Second... they just don't click, total opposites. Third is a needy lil mooch/hoarder who throws tantrums over stuff like the frosting color on Easter cookies because "that's not how daddy did it when I was little""
He Is Mean
"He started hating on me from an early age. He would literally give me the cold shoulder - monosyllabic responses to me while not looking up from his games, then become open and chatty when anyone else entered the room. I ate it for years - he's just a kid, right?"
"I ended up leaving his dad. He blamed me for everything and called the cops on me after yelling at me over the phone."
"I talked to his brother after the cops left. He was so frustrated on my behalf and only then told me all the low-key things younger brother had done under the radar; he was more mean than I realized; I thought it was only directed at me. My older son was sympathetic and made me feel better. He said his younger brother had a lot of issues."
"I really don't give my younger son an option to call the cops on me again."
Lie, Lie, Lie
"I think it's kinda sad how I know that my stepfather (who had his own daughter) wished I was his kid instead of her. To be fair, the girl kept making stories up about what we did to her and she was alienating him from the rest of his family. I think I can even pinpoint the day he realised that this wasn't miscommunication but rather her just lying about everything."
"She ran away from home and after years of fighting it was finally calm. And honestly, screw her, she didn't have to lie to anyone about us, she didn't have to steal from me or my mum to the point that a gift for my birthday was a lock on my door."
"I hope she doesn't screw over whoever is taking care of her now but I doubt it."
These are some intense stories! Parenting is hard, and the truth is, when it's good, it's good, but when it's bad, it's really bad.
Have you ever had someone try to comfort you, but ended up feeling worse after what you just heard?
It happens more frequently than people would like, when what were meant to be words of comfort and encouragement end up having the exact opposite effect.
Indeed, sometimes we might be better off, or able to sleep somewhat easier had we not been told a certain statistic or recent study, which paints an optimistic light, but is bad news nonetheless.
Redditor Soupmandog589 was curious to learn what optimistic facts aren't quite as comforting as they seem, leading them to ask:
"What’s a fact that sounds comforting but is actually highly disturbing?"
I'd rather not crash at all.
"You’re statistically more likely to die in a car crash on the way to the airport than you are in a plane crash."- 593shaun
Cold comfort at its finest.
"You did your best."- a_fortunate_accident
The possibilities are endless...
"You never truly know what anyone really thinks about you.'
"I mean this like super literally."
"Like you never know if your spouse is planning on killing you, you never know if a stranger is keeping an eye on you thinking about assaulting you.'
"Several possibilities that you could never know."- bluburry420
"There are hundreds if not thousands of versions of you in the minds of other people."
"Depending on how many people you have met in your life."- He-Who-Laughs-LastMean Girls Gossip GIF by Paramount MoviesGiphy
I hope that day is a long time coming...
"One day you'll never feel pain again."- Antdawg2400·
Ignorance is bliss... or is it?
'The most peaceful way to die is in your sleep, but you’ll go to sleep not knowing you’ll never see anything ever again."- Hkro-2
We won't live to see it... but others will...
"There will be a point in time where humans go extinct."
"We wont experience it but imagine our future generations will see the 'end of the world'.
"You saw... nothing."- SunTzy69End Of The World Netflix GIF by LOVE DEATH + ROBOTSGiphy
The truth is out there... maybe...
"Either alien life exists, or we are totally alone in the universe."- ALA02
Don't get too excited
"You're really really sick, you have no energy, no appetite, and just the will to do nothing at all."
"Let’s say this is your grandpa in this situation."
"All the sudden grandpa calls you and says he wants to eat so much that it hurts and he wants to go do some fun projects, this sudden burst of energy kinda thing."
"Well you drive to the hospital to find that your grandpa has just died minutes after he called you."
"The nurse will then explain to you that this is very common when people are dying to just have a sudden burst of energy."- ReaperGrin
Either way, we're screwed
"While we're losing a lot of forests in the tropics due to climate change, we're actually gaining a lot of forest in the northern latitudes, and into formerly grassland areas as more available CO2 allows them to grow in more arid regions."
"And everyone loves trees, right?"
"The problem is the climate crisis is also a biodiversity crisis, and habitat loss, like grasslands or tundra becoming forest, is arguably even harder on species than changes in weather patterns."- RIPEOTCDXVItime-lapse forest GIFGiphy
Kind as it is to offer comfort to those who need it, it is also wise to think very carefully when choosing your words.
After all, as the saying goes "when you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
I've watched people devour things I couldn't fathom swallowing.
Like... "Why are you doing that to your body?"
I love food as much as the next person, but somethings really should just stay on the vine.
So many of the current most popular foods make no sense to me.
Avocado. Just... why? It's green slime.
To each their own.
Redditormintylye wanted to discuss personal issues with the menu. They asked:
"What food does everyone love to eat, but you don't?"
I am very picky eater. I try not to be, but I can't help it. My list long.
OinkWild West Lol GIF by Justin GammonGiphy
"Ham it's so gross I like other meats but ham is just so disgusting."
"Not a food, but coffee. The entire planet seems to start their day with a cup and I can’t get the taste for it."
"I actually LOVE the taste of coffee but I rarely drink it. I just try to wake up with a glass of water instead of the caffeine."
"I feel like the point of coffee is to wake you up, so it never made sense to me to drink decaf (even though I like the taste), so I just decide not to drink it. I do have a coffee pot and there are times where I’m feeling frisky, but I’m glad that it’s an addiction that I haven’t gotten into."
"Steak. Not red meat, just a fat steak. Gristle, fat, texture, and childhood trauma play a key role in why I dislike steak. Trust me, I've had numerous people - including my previous roommate who is a professional chef - try to get me to like it. It ain't happening. I do love a good burger though."
"Chocolate ice cream I love them separately though."
"Yes! A lot of chocolate flavored stuff I'd say is more 'cocao' flavored if that makes sense, same with chocolate milk, chocolate pudding, etc."
"I'm the same. I like chocolate, but majority of chocolate flavoured things taste very different and are not enjoyable for me."
bad sweets...Marshmallow Peeps Candy GIF by Bronwyn MaloneyGiphy
"They are overwhelmingly sweet. But I have childhood nostalgia associated with them so I still eat them."
Those Peeps are the work of Satan. I said what I said.
I'm ill...Season 11 Reaction GIF by Curb Your EnthusiasmGiphy
"Mayo and ranch, but mostly mayo. The sight of a glob of thick ranch or mayo makes my stomach uneasy."
Clearly the best...
"Sweet potato pie. I can’t stand sweet potatoes but to put it in a pie… that’s just too much."
"Dog it tastes nothing like actual sweet potatoes. Sweet potato pie is like candy trust me. My mom used to make it for me when I was little."
"But she called it 'butterscotch pie' to trick me into eating it as she knew I'd want nothing to do with it if I found out it contained sweet potatoes. Clearly the best pie. I assume you haven't ever tried it. Big mistake. It's like if someone took a pumpkin pie and was like, 'what if I increase all of its stats by ten points'. Perfect pie."
fresh off the boat...
"About the only seafood I'll eat is breaded fish sticks. Which has about as much in common with seafood as Taco Bell does with Mexican food. None at all. The smell, texture and taste of the rest of the seafood world is just nauseating to me. Which some people can't seem to grasp as I live less than a 10 minute drive to the fishing docks and get whatever I want fresh off the boat."
In your mouth...
"Caviar tried it once like pouring salt shaker in your mouth. Venison gamey Beef."
"Then you haven't had good caviar. I had it in Moscow and it was super. I don't like sushi or a lot of seafood."
Gross Greensexcited shake GIFGiphy
"Celery. What the f**k, people. Not good."
I actually love celery. But I'm weird.