This article is a love song to all of you out there who still think of those Red Lobster cheddar biscuits as the fanciest, most delicious, bread course you've ever had.
You're not alone.
Honestly, even Beyonce agrees Red Lobster is for special occasions according to the lyrics of "Formation."
Reddit user TactlessLaugher asked:
"What’s a meal as child you thought was fancy, or high class but was really the exact opposite?"
Let's get into it, starting with the obvious.
Luxury Lobster
"I thought Red Lobster was classy sh*t as a child."
"As an adult I ordered 6 soggy small shrimp that came in bowl and they called it shrimp scampi and paid way too much for it."
- _Goose_
"My sons (they're almost 14) still think Red Lobster is the top echelon of seafood."
"We even go to the Outer Banks right on the ocean one week every summer where they both eat fresh, tasty seafood. But they think some $35 pile of rubbery Red Lobster meat is prime luxury."
- orangestar17
"I took one of my sons there to celebrate the end of a successful school year."
"I thought for sure he would realize how not-posh it really was."
"Nope, he thought it was amazing and couldn’t wait to tell his friends he had finally gone to Red Lobster. I kept my mouth shut and let him enjoy the luxury."
- pixygarden
Season 1 Episode 13 GIF by The Simpsons
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Pizza Hut Used To Be Awesome
"In the 80s, I can't explain how big of a deal it was to go to a Pizza Hut. It was 30 miles away so it was a big treat."
"These days, not so much."
- Shroom4Yoshi
"Playing Pacman at the arcade table and wearing a book-it pin on my Jean jacket, ahhh the 80's"
- beccasam1
"We didn't have much money so didn't eat out much."
"The Book-It program at school gave those coupons for a free personal pan pizza when you read books and it was like Christmas"
- orangestar17
"Pizza Hut back in the day was a step or two above Pizza Hut today- which is barely a storefront."
"The old ones had funky roofs, salad bars, pizza served in skillets, table service..."
"Today? Nothing special."
- sdcinerama
Pasta-Roni
"I used to think my mom made this delicious angel-hair pasta with a creamy sauce all from scratch."
"It was just boxed Pasta Roni."
"But I’m glad it is because she passed when I was 12 years old and it would have sucked that I never got her recipe. Now I can just whip open a box and feel the nostalgia."
- drekia
"I didn’t come to this thread to cry over Pasta Roni."
- Basghetti_
"My mom died when I was twelve too. I’m still always trying to recreate recipes from childhood. Certain things I’ve got but I’m never gonna nail her sweet and sour pork. 😔"
- taipeileviathan
Because The French Are Fancy
"French toast, because it was 'French' "
- dick-nipples
"That's kind of adorable."
- Ascholay
"French toast is delicious though."
- SkeleHoes
"Same with crepes."
- Grjaryau
Fondue
"When I was a kid my folks would have a fondue night every great now and then. They would have a few different kinds of meat like hot dog pieces and some cut up chicken."
"To this day it seems special."
"We didn’t have much money growing up but this made me feel otherwise. One of my fondest memories as a kid with my parents."
- 1980pzx
"Woah! This brings back warm memories to fondue night."
"We didn't have much growing up, and fondue night always felt like we had something to celebrate. We even had special fondue plates we bought at a flea market."
"It was just one of those rare nights where dinner didn't feel rushed, with dad usually being tired from working all day or having to leave for a night shift."
"Thanks for bringing back that memory."
- Leilavdm
Melting Food Porn GIF by BOSKA
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Hot Washcloth
"If my parents were going out for the evening, my mom would take us to the grocery store to pick out TV dinners."
"I usually got turkey, with mashed potatoes, stuffing, those miserable peas and carrots, and some kind of cobbler dessert."
"No microwaves then, so the foil trays went in the oven. My mom would put the hot tray on a washcloth on a tv table."
"We got to eat in front of the TV and thought it was fabulous."
- ItsSnowingAgain
"Same down to the washcloth or dish towel!"
"Pre microwave it was a big deal! This was the 70’s for me."
- miahsmama
It's Not Butter
"My mother used margarine in (nearly) everything, but she called it butter."
"So whenever we went to a nice restaurant to eat, I thought the real butter they served was something fancy and French."
- mobyhead1
"Same here."
"We've still never had real butter in our house. Even though it said 'margarine' on the tub it took me until I was at least 12 to realize it was different from butter."
"I was so shocked when I went to a restaurant and the butter tasted so good and different."
- katkeransuloinen
"This!"
"I baked a lot as a child and always wondered why my cookies were never very good. My mum raised me to believe that olive spread is butter."
"Turns out it’s not."
- Dragon_Sluts
Missing The Point
"Ratatouille because I had completely missed the point while watching the movie"
- maedayborowski
"Totally true! The movie does make it look super fancy but in reality 95% of ratatouille is a mess of mushy vegetables."
"It has a fancy sounding French name though."
- bambooshoot
"And I just now realized the point."
- Rin-Tohsaka-is-hot
"Same dude I was really young when I watched Ratatouille and completely missed the part where they said it was a peasant dish."
- NHK21506
ratatouille GIF
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Affording Ramen
"My mom told me 'We can't afford to eat ramen all the time.' "
"She meant that it wasn't healthy and that I should eat a vegetable or something. I spent years thinking instant ramen was expensive."
- pm-me-racecars
"SAME but I thought it was expensive just because I loved it so much."
"I got a job at a grocery store when I was in high school, realized how cheap it was, lost my damn mind."
- Remarkable_Squirrel3
"It was expensive for my roommate in college who ate nothing but instant ramen for so long that he felt like crap for weeks. Finally went to the doctor when his gums started bleeding."
"He had scurvy."
"Aaaand we talked to him like pirates for the rest of the year."
- victimless_lime
A Precious Commodity
"I always thought oyster crackers were super expensive and fancy because I only had them at restaurants with my clam chowder. And the waitress would only give me one tiny packet and it was never enough."
"Sometimes I would screw up the courage to ask for one more packet if I was extra brave or hungry but I always felt like maybe that was selfish of me because clearly this is a precious commodity."
- logcabinfarmgirl
"Yes! Lol"
"I remember finding them in the grocery store and being blown away you can just buy a big box of them! Hahaha."
- j33pwrangler
"This cracks me up because whenever I go drinking at a seafood joint I slam those crackers. Pinchers Crab Shack usually has a little basket of them at your table"
- FTMorando
IYKYK
"Golden Corral. If you know you know."
- Kasmanian_devil
"Yes!"
"We would eat there when we went to go visit my grandfather. And I thought it was the coolest thing that I could get 'ice cream' with different toppings."
- elanrach
Hungry Nom Nom GIF by LAIKA Studios
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Still Love
"Chicken and rice!"
"Growing up I loved it and thought my mom cooked it so often because she loved spoiling me. Eventually found out mom cooked it a lot because it was cheap and went a long way."
"Still love it though."
- AbductedMind
Layers Make It Fancy
"Vienettas."
"They were special, because they were sold from the yellow Family Frost trucks and as I try to remember, they were one of the most affordable big package ice creams from there."
"Sometimes I got the money and felt important when I could go buy it from the truck. I still like the memory of thin chocolate plates between the layers. Supermarkets were very scarce back then."
- Ziriath
"That 'Viennetta' frozen ice cream cake. I saw commercials for those all the time as a kid and I thought it was faaaancyyy."
- CPOx
"Those Breyers ice cream cakes... vienetta"
- MichiganMulletia
Moms Tamales
"My mom used to make me tamales every time I visited her on the weekends cause she knew how much I loved them."
"It took me years to discover she did not make them from scratch. They were the frozen ones you can buy at the grocery store."
- msphelps77
Soup For My Family
"I remember when I was about 11 and I stayed with my dad in the winter. To stock up on food he bought like 50 cans of Chunky soup and I thought he was rich when we walked out of the store."
"but it’s just soup, lol."
- Awpss
Adam Driver Soup GIF by VON GRAMBUSCH
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A Gift From God
"Pizza rolls."
"My mom never bought them for me, but the neighbor kid's mom would occasionally make them whenever I was over there and they were like a gift from god."
- Eyjovin
Taco Sh*ts
"Taco Bell."
"Even when we had fast food as a kid, it was rarely Taco Bell. So I always thought it must be more expensive, even though it never felt 'fancy.' "
"Now that I’m older and my guts can’t handle all the junk that I used to eat, I can see why my parents never wanted to get Taco Bell."
- FTMorando
3 Minutes
"The first time I had spam was at a Chinese restaurant during our Chinese New Year celebrations."
"I was like maybe 6 years old and my mum gave it to me and I actually thought it was the greatest thing I’d ever eaten."
"Fast forward to a few days later I ask my mum when’s the next time I can have spam (called it luncheon meat) and she just took it out from a metal tin, fried some white rice and the spam in 3 mins and gave it to me."
"Mind blown."
- Throws_for_Dayz
spam GIF
Giphy
"Lunchables."
"Since my mom would never buy them unless there was some special occasion like a field trip, I guess I sort of associated lunchables with the good memories of elementary school field trips."
- ivcy24
It's your turn now, fam. What's your fancy-but-not-really fondest food memory?
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
tsunami GIF
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"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
Scared The Launch GIF by CTV
Giphy
"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN
Giphy
"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.