People Share Stupid Jokes That Are So Dumb That They're Actually Funny
But somehow still funny. You know you love bad jokes. I mean, we all do-no shade! So prepare yourself for Aweseom_'s thread of them:
Fish swimming upriver and bumps his head.
This Took Me A Second
The frustrated cannibal threw up his arms.
Where do poor meatballs live?
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
Not What You Expect, But True
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
Immune To Puns
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have little anty-bodies.
I Get It
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
"No eye deer"
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
"Still no eye deer"
Wait A Second...
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar?
They each got 6 months.
What Kind Of Deck?
This blonde is going door to door trying to find some paying work. She knocks on one door and a handsome older man opens it up.
"Hey mister, do you have any odd jobs I could do for cash?"
He looks her up and down and surmises that she's an idiot whom he can take advantage of.
"I'll give you ten dollars if you paint my porch. There's paint, brushes, ladders and everything you'll need next to the car in the garage."
"Sure, sounds great!"
The man closes the door, chuckling at what a great deal he's just brokered. Half an hour later, there's another knock at the door. He opens it up and there's the blonde.
"You're finished already?" he asked her incredulously.
"Yeah! It isn't really that big! But I think you should know, that's not a porch. It's a Jaguar!"
There are no divorce courts at the North Pole, so when Santa and his wife wanted to split up, they got a semicolon.
They're great for separating independent Clauses.
A Carron't Even
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
No matter how kind you are, German children will always be Kinder.
Wait For It...
How do you think the unthinkable?
With an itheberg.
There was a thread yesterday, I think, and the question was something along the lines of "what part of your body would you get rid of?"
Some guy responded "My spine. It holds me back."
I f-ckin' died, especially when people were having pirate reactions. Holy sh-t.
Who Won Third?
And so the Lord said unto John, "Come forth; and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Once Again, You Got Me
What animal can jump higher than a house?
All of them... houses can't jump.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
You're Not Wrong
What's grey and can't swim?
Where Is Cinderella?
Why do mice have small balls?
Not many of them know how to dance.
What do cigarettes and squirrels have in common? Neither one will hurt you unless you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket. "Hey wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
Once Again, Not Wrong?
What do a grape and a rabbit have in common?
They're both purple except for the rabbit
The Snail Did His Best
Guy walks out his front door, sees a snail on the sidewalk, picks it up throws it over his shoulder. It hits the roof, rolls to the top, down the other side, lands in the back yard. Six months later, guy walks out his front door, looks down, snail says, "What the f-ck was that all about?"
This One Works In The Internet Age
What is Harry Potters favorite method of getting down a hill?
Chickens Don't Fly, They Drive
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.