This article is an ode to the "friend-dump" and the power of growth. Boundaries are awesome, dear readers. Growth and development are awesome.
Some of these friendships, though... not awesome.
They say friendships form for a reason, a season, or a time. If we're lucky, that time gets to be a really long one - but more often than not things are going to go sideways.
Sometimes friendships fizzle out, people drift apart, maybe someone moves or gets a new job... but every now and then there's one defining moment where you look at someone and think "yeah... I'm gonna have to friend-dump you."
Reddit user FeelThePower999 asked:
"What was the moment you looked at your friend and realized they were no longer a friend and you were going to cut ties?"
Sooooo yeah... boundaries. Let's watch people plow right on through them, shall we?
We're Too Old For Shunningrachel mcadams blow kiss GIF Giphy
"She threw a big 30th birthday party for all her friends. She purposefully invited one girl she'd had a falling out with to come two hours later than the party started."
"Before the girl showed up, she told everyone that the girl was a b*tch and we should all shun her. The poor girl came in with a big expensive present, so happy that her & her where mending things, just to be ignored and belittled by over 30 people."
"The girl left crying. I left not long after and ghosted the sh*t out of my ex-friend."
"She was a minor celebrity in my country. I already saw people take a lot of bad behaviour from her before this happened, but this just pushed me over the edge. People get weird around celebrities, no matter how minor." - fluffyfluffycake
Rooting Against MeThe Princess Bride Boo GIF by filmeditor Giphy
"I was waiting for news of a big career opportunity for a few months, and the sound of relief and satisfaction in her voice when I told my friend it fell through made me realize how hard she had been internally rooting against me."
"Feeling jealous of a friend who has a good thing happen is just part of what it means to be human. But, in that moment, the fact that her response didn't seem mixed with any sympathy for my sadness made me look differently at the dynamics of that friendship."
"I think she genuinely liked me, but not being the "star" in our friendship was too much for her."
Different With An AudienceAwkward Dj Pauly D GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation Giphy
"When they started treating me different around other people."
"Together just the two of us, everything was great. In a crowd I became ignored except for when I was the butt of jokes. I'm not thin skinned, I'm not talking about not being able to take a joke."
"It's more that they act embarrassed to know me or want to distance themselves."
"You feel played, betrayed, let down and over all like a fool. I've come to realize it's 100% the other persons insecurity, though. Hurt people hurt people - and I don't have time for that insecure bull." - slugvegas
How Little InterestGo Away Reaction GIF Giphy
"I tried to talk to a guy who I thought was my friend about something going on between me and my Dad for a few minutes during a drive."
"He flat out silently stared at his phone - until I said something semi related about him. That is when he perked up and started telling me about how much money he'd made recently, and how he got all of this free weed from someone and boy was his life sweet."
"I sorta just 'mhm'ed' my way through it because it was obvious he had been ignoring me, and when he got to the end of his brag session he in all serious told me he was pretty offended at how little interest I showed in what he'd been saying." - CommercializedPan
Losing My Religionmusic video 90s GIF Giphy
"When I told them that I left my high demand religion. They said we no longer had anything in common."
"What?? 30 years of friendship over in 1 conversation?! Plus, I had been out of the religion for years, but they never knew. Our friendship was fine."
"Once official, I was 'no longer trustworthy, sinful and lost.' That was the end for me."
"It's their loss, not mine." - Gotagoodkidney
"This happened to me. My husband and I left Mormonism and our best friends (so close we were like family) ghosted us over it."
"When my husband confronted his friend about it, the guy said a bunch of vicious stuff about us and claimed they'd never really liked us. It broke my f*cking heart."
"That was more than three years ago and I still have dreams where I'm trying to reconcile with them." - Confident_Basket8694
His AlibiSeason 1 Nbc GIF by The Good Place Giphy
"We kind of fell out a while ago and haven't spoken much, but today I learned that he seems to have been using me as an alibi to cheat on his wife."
"She texted me about us having drinks the other night & we haven't done anything socially outside of work since before COVID. Without going into detail I'm certain my confused reaction blew up whatever bull he's been telling her."
"I am not in the habit of lying to people & wouldn't cover for someone in this situation unless it involved a psycho abusive spouse, a "we went on one date" stalker - that kind of thing... Even then I'd need some kind of heads up beforehand!"
"So I don't know what he's been trying to pull, but any hope of rekindling any friendship is now 100% gone. I'm not his alibi." - 3dogsinatrenchcoat
The "Backup Wife"Dean Winchester Facepalm GIF Giphy
"I had a close friend from childhood who was very into the traditional lifestyle, with wife, kids, house with a picket fence, part of the PTA and church. Even in high school."
"He would date anyone that would have him, and ignore us until they broke up and he'd come crawling back. We were best of friends so we always were glad to have him back involved in our group. He went to college literally because he was looking for a girl to marry."
"He ended up dropping out after 2 yrs, and getting a job delivering auto parts where he started dating and married his boss's daughter. They popped out 3 kids right in a row, and every time I talked to him things were "great" but he just would stop responding to me more and more often."
"He was 110% devoted to his little family which was great, but he just stopped being my friend. I'd invite him to get together and he would always just say 'oh why don't you come over here, you can see the kids.' "
"That was fine, but his wife and he would just be on me the whole time about how I'm not really an adult because I dont have a family, my job was putting my ability to have kids at risk (firefighter) and that I basically only had value if I was breeding."
"So part of the distancing was me honestly. I didn't like having to put up with that just to see my friend."
"Long story short, his wife cheats on him, they divorced and she's instantly pregnant with another guy's baby. He comes to me broken over this and we get close again. Really close."
"I drove him to therapy, watched his kids while he was laying in bed all day, unable to get up and brought food for his family."
"I opened up about why I felt we drifted apart in the first place. He actually apologized and admitted he suspected that was why. I thought I had my best friend again."
"Until he met another girl and I started seeing less of him."
"He started flaking on me to hang out. When I did come over, the remarks about 'doing the adult thing' would come out again. His new girlfriend had 3 kids too, so he started joking about being the Brady Bunch."
"I hung on trying to keep the friendship together because I felt bad for not trying enough last time, but he was sliding back into the old him. I was sitting looking at a text he sent after ignoring me for a week that said 'lol, yes, well maybe you'll find a good woman like I did and finally grow up' "
"I suddenly realized I was the only one trying to be a friend, and I just didn't give a sh*T anymore. I deleted his number and haven't heard from him in 2 years. Last thing I heard from him was that text."
"I realized he didn't want to be my friend so much as I was his 'backup wife.' I was easy to fall back on when he found himself single, that's it."
"I'm thinking he may reach out again when he finds himself single again. I won't be there to answer." - The_Great_Blumpkin
Childhood BeautyToddlers And Tiaras Beauty GIF Giphy
"Friend invited me to see her 4 yo daughter perform in a beauty pageant. Ugh, I know, but whatever I wanted to support the kid."
"The little girl sang a sob song about some kid praying to Jesus about their dead mommy. My friend whispered to me that the song 'always won brownie points with the judges'. Again, ugh."
"After the girl performed she came to stand by us in the audience and my friend SMACKED the child's tummy and scolded 'suck it in, no one likes a fat kid.' "
"Yep, I was DONE. I walked out." - noseymimi
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh MyyyTeachers have heard every excuse in the book from students who were trying to pull a fast one. We all know the classics: 'dog ate my homework,' 'my car burst...
Sounded Like An IncelCuff Him Season 2 GIF by American Gods Giphy
"He started saying some pretty gross stuff about this girl who was his friend. She wasn't interested in anything more than friendship and he was pissed about it."
"I told him he sounded like an incel. That's when I started pulling away."
"The last time I saw him was after he got out of prison on bail and wanted to discuss why he was in there and why it was pretty definite he was going back after his trial." - ultravioletblueberry
Google CalendarInterested Kim Kardashian GIF Giphy
"A former friend was going through a divorce that she had instigated by cheating on her ex. She was very, very upset that most people in her circle had sided with her ex."
"I did not pick a side, in part because I was very aware of the sad state of their relationship when she decided to end it. However, she began demanding that I pick a side."
"That led to a slow cooling in our friendship, which blew up one day when I met up with the ex for a beer. Right before we met up, the former friend started frantically texting, wanting to meet up."
"Turned out she had access to my Google Calendar and was following my motions through there."
"She was pissed that I met up with her ex (who was also a friend) and tried to sabotage it. After that I decided I was done with her."
"Too weird, too creepy and controlling. Still friends with the ex, though." - bonbonnibles
They Still Haven't Apologizedblack and white beyonce GIF Giphy
"We were like glue for years. They got me through some of the toughest times, and I was always there right back."
"Then the final 3 years it began to be more and more about them. Would only want to talk if it was their hobby, their problem, their needs.'
"I still gave my all, and burnt myself out being there without a single boundary. I assumed we were operating at an unspoken 'if the roles were reversed, you'd do the same for me' "
"Then a few months back they changed completely. Got a horrible partner. Rude, bigoted, classist, all-round a-hole."
"And it was like I never existed. I was heartbroken. I did everything I could to fix that friendship."
"The day where I realized it wouldn't, couldn't, and I didn't want it to go back to how it was, was when we had a big, tearful heart to heart. They didn't care at all."
"They were upset because they'd lost me, but not because of ME. They were upset over losing what was, essentially, their free on-call therapist."
"Their a-hole boyfriend left them. Their life was becoming miserable and stagnated. Their other friends were also showing their true bad colors."
"I moved cities the next day."
"We agreed to be amicable. I've noticed I only get messages when they want attention. I don't rise to it anymore. We don't talk."
"Side by side, glued together for almost a decade, genuinely inseparable. And after a couple months of mourning… I don't miss them anymore."
"They still haven't apologized."
"No loyalty to our friendship."
"She made a lot of poor choices. Talked about me behind my back and then tried to play it off like she was 'gathering info' to tell me."
"She continued to like photos, and stay friends on social media with my ex boyfriend who assaulted me, and much more."
"I haven't cut it off, but I'm slowly distancing myself because I know she won't think she really did anything that big of a deal. Some people just don't care about you but are really good are telling you what you want to hear."
GhostedDance Dancing GIF by Headexplodie Giphy
"When we graduated high school, a friend of 5 years ghosted my boyfriend and me. This was the guy my boyfriend considered his best friend and was planning to ask to be his best man if he ever gets married."
"We would reach out when we knew he was coming to town through other friends. He always said he was too busy this time but maybe next time."
"According to a friend who went to the same university as him, he apparently wanted to have a restart. That meant erasing everyone from his life who didn't go to his college that was 2 hours away from our hometown."
"A year later he comments on a social media post, asking me how we are doing and saying that we should hang out. I'd like to say I had forgotten about him but actually I was still salty about the silent treatment."
"I unfriended him, deleted his number, and never heard from him again."
You Don't Traumatize A ChildWhat Is Wrong With You Season 4 GIF by The Office Giphy
"Basically, my 'friend' and his partner are codependent. Like- on school nights, they'd sleep over at each other's houses and stay there for weeks on end."
"This dude practically couldn't live without his partner and the relationship is toxic and abusive as hell. One time, the partner was being practically disowned by their mom for being trans and had their phone taken away for a few hours while they 'thought about their decision.' "
"To be clear, I don't like this person's mother."
"Anyway, the younger brother was in the living room at the time when the mother walked in and started ranting about the partner, and the brother nodded along out of fear of getting into trouble as well."
"The partner, once they'd gotten their phone back, started telling everyone about this and claimed that their brother had talked sh*t about them and was transphobic, etc."
"This man tried to text this ELEVEN YEAR OLD CHILD about his 'relapse' (WITH PICTURES!) And it would've happened if one of our mutual friends hadn't stepped in and told him off."
"That's where I draw the line. You don't traumatize kids who just try to stay out of trouble."
"I pretend to be all Buddy-Buddy with this guy because his mom works at our school (he could seriously f*ck up my future if he tried) but I despise him."
The Common DenominatorOlivia Munn What GIF Giphy
"She kept trash talking every one of her coworkers at every job she's ever held. Not that she had time to get to really know anyone since any job she had she would be at for only a few months (and no they weren't seasonal)."
"There would be looong periods of unemployment in between."
"Also- every place she's ever lived she's had problems with the landlords. So yeah. She was clearly the common denominator."
"The Look"i see you GIF by Face The Truth Giphy
"Another girl had just barely walked away from a conversation with our group when these two 'friends' started talking trash about her."
"I jokingly said: 'wow I hope you don't talk about me like that!' "
"The look they gave each other said it all."
Now that we've read Reddits stories, it's your turn. Tell us about the times you knew a friendship had run it's course. I can't wait to read these comments...
- People Explain Why They Cut All Ties With Their Group Of Friends - George Takei ›
- People share the moment they realized their friend was actually not right in the head. - George Takei ›
- People Divulge The Real Reason They Dropped A Childhood Best Friend - George Takei ›
- People Break Down What Can Instantly Ruin A Friendship - George Takei ›
- People Divulge Why They Stopped Talking To Their Childhood Best Friend - George Takei ›
- People Divulge How Their Last Relationship Actually Ended - George Takei ›
- People Share The Real Reason They Cut All Ties With A Friend - George Takei ›
- People Share The Exact Moment They Realized Their Relationship Was Over - George Takei ›
It's another ordinary day in America.
So of course that means we've already had a mass shooting or two before brunch.
And aside from the mass shootings, the number of single gunshot wounds or deaths is too high to count.
So let's discuss the aftermath.
Let's hear from the people who have faced the barrel of a loaded gun, or were just a casualty going about their day.
What happens after the bullet lands?
***CAUTION - SENSITIVE MATERIAL AHEAD - TRIGGER WARNING***
Redditor notaninterestingacc wanted to hear from the people who have lived the nightmare. They asked:
"Gunshot survivors of Reddit - What does it feel like to get shot?"
Guns are not a joke. Please educate yourself before you purchase.
Then the pin hit...
"I took a 7.62 to the stomach in Afghanistan. Felt like somebody had smacked with like, I dunno, a flyswatter or something. A short sharp smack. Didn’t feel much until I tried to come out of cover and I just... couldn’t. Couldn’t make my body listen to me. Then the pain hit. I’d put it at like, I dunno, an 11/10. Bullet blew off half my liver."
Thank you EMS...
"Chest, .357 magnum, through sternum, lung, ricochet off of rib, through scapula. Still have half under my shouldblade. Felt like I was stabbed in the chest with a hot fire poker mounted to the bottom of someone's foot when they drop kicked me. Was not expected to survive (severe blood loss), of course. Very good EMS team kept the liquids where they were supposed to and great doctors and nurses kept me going."
"I didn't really feel either of mine until about 10 minutes later. Took a grazing shot off my left arm and one in the right hip that went out my back thankfully missing my kidney. The arm felt like a bee sting the hip knocked me back a step the adrenalin at the time masked the pain."
The Masked Men
"I was shot during a home robbery. I’m probably one of The luckiest people alive. The bullet no joke scratched my cheek and then went through the top of my ear and also a bullet grazed my wrist and opened it up. I didn’t feel anything but just liquid running down my face and my wrist was burning."
"Scariest night of my life and RIP Christian. Miss you so much buddy. Here is proof. We... https://www.chron.com/neighborhood/katy/crime-courts/article/Man-charged-in-attempted-burglary-apartment-6236325.php Authorities said Burke and Brandon Fries, 21, fought the suspects for their guns, which were fired during the struggle."
"The two masked men fled, and investigators initially did not have any information about which direction they went or whether they escaped from the scene by car. Both Burke and Fries had been shot and were transported to Hermann Memorial Hospital in Katy. Burke was pronounced dead upon arrival at the emergency room, less than four miles away.”
Like a Rock
"I got shot in the ankle when I was 10. Honestly I thought a rock hit me. Just a slight stinging feeling. Didn't really hurt, I even kept running with my bike. Later at the hospital was a different story. The doctor tried to remove the bullet without putting me under."
"He said the pain medicine would make me forget everything. He gave up after a few minutes of hell. And, whatever he gave me didn't work as described, but it did oddly make everyone look purple from what I remember. So maybe it half worked? lol."
People really? How in the world do y'all get firearms?
"Right thigh, 9mm, grazing shot across the front of the leg about 4 inches above the knee. It plowed a channel of skin and some flesh off the front. It felt searing hot like someone had laid a hot piece of metal on my leg for a second. Then, the pain went away for a while until the adrenaline wore off. It honestly hurt worse 6 hours later than it did when it happened."
A slight pinch...
"I was randomly shot while walking down the street with my girlfriend in 2013. I didn't fall to the ground or anything like that. Walked into a store and told them to call the cops. It didn't hurt too bad at first. A slight pinch. The heat builds up and the pain comes in. Some throbbing as the blood pumps out. I was extremely lucky as the bullet lodged between my lower right ribs in the back just above my kidney."
"The aftermath was a really achey back. What I remember most was how everyone around me except for my girlfriend just walked around us like nothing happened. I was suffering and potentially dying and everyone just ignored it. 'Not my problem' I suppose. I lost a lot of faith in people that day."
Not the Head
"I accidentally discharged my 9 and I was hit in the head. While it was going on I honestly did not feel any pain but everything slowed way down. Healing and recooperating was the hardest. My mouth and jaw was wired shut for several months. Had to have complete facial reconstruction surgery."
"Had to take a piece of bone from my skull and graph it to my nose just so I could have a nose. I also had to have a feeding tube for almost a whole year. I've recovered fully and I'm very lucky. I remember mostly everything. Something's from the incident I don't remember, but for the most part, I have my memories in tact."
"My gf was shot, not me, but she said it felt hot and like impact but not particularly painful until much later. She was in shock and went to the hospital, after hours she said it started to hurt."
"This was my response too. It feels incredibly hot. It's like getting hit with a bee that's on fire. It burns like hell. But then, and only later, does is f**king hurt. The part two is that you might think you understand pressure, but get shot. It doesn't just hurt, it mashes into you."
"A good friend of mine got hit with a ricochet from a 9mm that hit his calf, there was drive by about a block down. He was outside of the bar smoking a cig when it happened, ran inside and felt his leg burning but decided to keep drinking. He had about 3 more drinks before someone mentioned he was bleeding… went to the ER absolutely hammered and was fine after surgery."
Please stay sober when handling a weapon. Please be careful in general.
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It's never attractive to gloat.
Nor does superiority ever come off as a particularly attractive attribute.
But, consciously or not, some people speak or behave in a way that immediately suggests that they think they deserve to be treated differently, i.e better than others.
Or that they believe they simply are better than other people.
A recent Redditor was curious what sort of behavior struck other people as elitist or arrogant behavior by asking:
"What screams "I am entitled"?"
Where's the fire?
"Impatience in situations where it should be just universally understood that you need patience".- c7hu1hu.
Positions of power.
"I will have you fired!"- Vergo27.
"Generally just leaving something for someone else to deal with."- Splatty_boi_420.Season 3 Reaction GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
Sorry, but I was here first.
"People who cut in line."- Chad_Farthousse.
"People who ignore lines and cut in the front, like their time is more important than every other person patiently queueing."- ofsquire.
"Do you know who I am!?!"- ThoriumLad.Organized Crime Nbc GIF by Law & OrderGiphy
No one loves a tattletale.
“I’ll call my dad and tell him what you did!”- ROAM300.
Ever heard of quid pro quo?
"When they do something to you and think it’s fine but when you do it in return and they freak out."- Silvero129.
Name your price.
"I work as a ticket seller for a ski resort."
"My favorite entitled person is the guy who, upon finding out that the kid's ski lesson was sold out, offered to pay extra if I would kick someone else's kid out so his kid could have a spot."- Floranagirl.
"People who brag about their parents’ money."- SpecialExamination41.Hustling Music Video GIFGiphy
Perhaps one of the most obvious ways to unwittingly show off your entitlement?
By being oblivious to how entitled you are.
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There's something about the woods that creeps me out. Listen here, people: I'm a city guy. The idea of getting lost out there freaks me out. No thank you. I wasn't made for that. The rest of you who like to go camping and stuff? You do you. I'll stick with my running water.
But maybe I've seen too many horror movies. After all, if I saw some creepy stuff in the woods I'd definitely run in the other direction. And so would you, right? Right?
People shared their best stories with us after Redditor shantics asked the online community,
"What have you seen in the woods that you can’t explain?"
"I stepped on what I thought was a small rock but it turned out to be weird and gelatinous. I've also seen tombstones in the woods."
You just suprised it. Rocks are soft and squishy, they just tense up when you touch them! /s
"I was hiking through the remnants..."
"I was hiking through the remnants of a remote, long-abandoned town and the surrounding area. To get to as far into the woods as I was, you had to cross fallen trees over a creek three times. I had just crossed the third "bridge" and was about five miles in and something blue caught my eye just ahead of me."
"There was a man, in his sixties at least, wearing blue satin pajamas, sitting in a tree. The closer I got to him the louder he laughed; it wasn't a maniacal laugh, but it set off all the alarms in my head nevertheless. He also wasn't wearing any shoes and looked well-groomed/cleaned."
"I gave him a friendly nod as I passed and he just kept laughing. Then it stopped. I turned and he was gone. There was no branch cracking, plants rustling, nothing... He was just gone."
"Still rubs me the wrong way. The area I was in was a pretty rough hike, very secluded. Not very many people venture as deep as I was that day. No idea what was going on there."
“Over the Third Bridge” would be a great title for a spooky book or movie.
"Neat as a pin..."
"Fully decorated Xmas tree. Middle of summer. Neat as a pin it was, as if it had just been finished. Who ever did it came back at some point and cleaned it up, because it wasn't there next I did that trail a week or so later."
This one’s not that uncommon actually. Lots of folks will decorate a tree in remembrance of someone out in the woods. Sucks when they don’t clean them up though.
"It's an interesting..."
"In Japan. A hotel was abandoned before it was ever finished being built. It only became a cement skeleton, about 5 stories high. It was left that way to eventually mold back into the forest around it."
It’s an interesting small building to explore. There are halls that are unlevel to the point of hitting your head on the ceiling (think: Willy Wonka)."
"There are stairwells that lead to nothing and one that leads to an unintentional hole in a cement wall. And on the top floor (but “inside” - as in, under the “roof”), is an old car - all smashed up - with seemingly no reason or method to have been up there."
This reminds me of those old abandoned amusement parks that pretty much exist to destroy me mentally.
"I once walked..."
"I once walked through the undergrowth (i.e. off the trail) with my then-girlfriend when we came across this spot where a few empty plastic bags were lying on the ground (strange because the woods are otherwise super clean), a pair of gloves and, most confusingly, the official ID card (= passport) of a young woman."
I would freak out and call the cops. That sounds like a murder scene.
"Many plastic bags..."
"Many plastic bags with nothing really in them but random odd things tied to trees. Sure, it could have been a homeless person but us kids att (like 12+) of us lived in those small woods behind the church every single day. We never saw anyone like that, ever. Passing through I guess, but why so many bags...still wonder."
Do we want to know what was in them? Probably not.
"When I was a teenager..."
"When I was a teenager, I worked at a fireworks stand that was run by my friend's family. It was in a rural area: they owned a few acres of land, had the fireworks tent at the front of the property and the house towards the back, but no lights in between. My friend's mother would prepare dinner for all the workers and we'd take turns going back to the house for dinner."
"One night, I was going to the house for dinner by myself. I felt something on my arm. I thought a bug might have landed on me, but it was really dark so I couldn't see anything. I stopped walking for a second. Then I started hearing this low, raspy breathing right next to me."
"There weren't any people around me and it didn't sound anything like a bug. It was like a slow, asthmatic wheeze."
"I started getting really freaked out. I reached my hand down to my arm and felt... something larger than I expected. I furiously rubbed my hands all across my body to try and dislodge whatever this thing was, then ran as fast as I could to the house. When I finally got to the safety of the house, I could see a small red mark on my arm, but that was it."
"To this day, it's probably the most freaked out I've ever been."
Chills reading this! Nooo thank you!
"Several very large holes..."
"Really big holes. Several very large holes, fairly close to each other, that seem to serve no purpose. Ten feet wide, deep enough that if you jumped in you’d have to have help getting out. Was someone preparing to bury a bunch of people? Was someone punishing their kid by making them dig holes? Did they hear there was buried treasure out there?"
"We’ve never figured it out."
How far apart? How neat were the holes? In a plantation or natural wood? Accessible by a small excavator?
"I once saw a huge pile of cat and dog skulls and bones about 100m from my cabin so we sold the cabin as soon as we could. It was creepy."
This definitely sounds like the beginning of a horror film. Did the ghosts follow you? Please report back.
"There's a small patch..."
"There's a small patch of woods where I live. You could walk across it in less than an hour. It's entirely safe and has marked trails. People somehow manage to get lost in there and I can't explain that."
Did they stumble across the bounds of time and space? That might explain it. But you might be underestimating how many people lack a sense of direction.
None of this makes you want to go out into the woods, huh? Yeah, we thought so. We'll pass the next time we get an offer to go camping somewhere.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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We're all not geniuses.
Everybody has varying degrees of knowledge and brain power.
And that is ok.
Though some of us are really lacking in any sense and every once and awhile people like to sugarcoat that fact when they call us out.
"Bless your heart."
That's a big one in the South. Means... "I like you, but Lord are you missing marbles."
Redditor MrMadJoker wanted to know the most creative ways to describe people who lack a few IQ points.
"What's your favorite euphemism for a dumb person?"
"You're missing a few pieces of the puzzle."
Said to me from my Geometry teacher. Now I know what he meant.
And... he was right.
"I could give them a penny for their thoughts and I'd get change back."
hopefulsite126tyler labine penny GIF by HULUGiphy
"He's got 2 brain cells left, and they're fighting for 3rd place."
"One more neuron and he'd have a synapse."
"The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead."
"My old english teacher used to say 'I can smell the hamster burning.'"
"Bruh how u gonna do hamsters like that. Im dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"
"You're the reason we have warning labels."
"My bosses comment about my non-too bright coworker 'you can’t get mad at her- she’s the reason shampoo has directions and she probably still f**ked it up…'”
"You see? Because of me, they have a warning label."
“The lights are on but no one’s home.”
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Ok... some of this is some good comedy.
"I'm an American, but I love when British folks call people Muppets. For a long time Europe has led the way in insult innovation, and I think it's time we caught up."
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"Less useful than a chocolate teapot."
"My Physics teacher used to say 'more pointless than a chocolate fireguard' whenever we had pencils that were too blunt for graph drawing hahaha."
"German version of that is 'dumber than a piece of bread.'"
I Like Turkey
"Shouldn't be left in charge of a ham sandwich."
"I had a college professor who had met Gaddafi (God have mercy on him), the late dictator of Libya, and his impression was 'it would've been a shame to put that lunatic in charge of 10 chickens.'"
"Lol... for some reason this reminds me of Gordon Ramsay saying on Kitchen Nightmares that he wouldn’t trust a guy to run his bath, let alone his restaurant 😅."
No Top Floor
"Your elevator doesn't go to the top floor. You're as sharp as a marble. You'd be stuck for an answer at hello (that's from Classy Freddie Blassie you pencil necked geeks)."
"People tell me my elevator doesn't go the whole way to the top floor but I don't even HAVE an elevator."
"People tell me that too! We should go buy one~"
"My grandpa says: 'A lot of space between them ears.' Which is my absolute favorite, because a lot of people don't get it at first and just enforces the meaning."
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Not all of us are going to break IQ records. That's ok. But these descriptions are funny.
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