Redditor darehopewanted to hear about the fibs many of us have been told and the story behind the people who told them.
They asked:
"Have you ever met a chronic liar? What were their worst lies?"
I'd be lying if I said I've never lied.
I lie.
I try not to.
And lies have never really worked for me.
Anybody else?
Friends
"He was friends with the first guy who sold 10,000 Bitcoin for 1 pizza. Interesting thing was that we had many friends in common and I got to hear from each friend as the story evolved."
DragonRaccoon
GiphyBS!
"Her dad hired an assassin to kill her and her mother and was in jail. She mentioned a couple of weeks later that she was going to her dad's house for the weekend. She would point at ANYONE remotely attractive and say 'I've slept with them'."
"She tried to fake a phone call once pretending to talk to a boy she was seeing, so I called her phone and it rang while she was mid sentence."
"She stuttered in embarrassment and then said, 'you calling me must have cut my call off!' I told her to ring him back, and she refused. If you had fish and chips for dinner, then she had had shark and chips. She was absolutely relentless and we stopped being friends when I called her out on her BS."
qgwheurbwb1i
'And then what happened, Ricky?'
"I went to high school with a pathological liar that you could just nudge a tiny bit and he'd go off on these long, elaborate and impossible stories. You'd just say 'And then what happened, Ricky?' and he'd just keep going."
"The best one was when he supposedly got chased by a police helicopter through the woods while stashing an 18-pack of beer down his pants. He ended up outrunning the helicopter and because of it the police said 'You're cool' over the loudspeaker on the helicopter (that he said he had outran)."
post_angst
2 Blocks Away...
"A guy told me that he found an abandoned stable in his backyard that had living horses in it. I asked how/what the horses ate and he couldn't give me an answer. This would already be stupid enough, but we lived in the city, 2 blocks from each other."
krsh*t
47
"Guy was late to work 15min, said he's late because his friend got shot 47 times... I said i am so sorry to hear that, he said 'its ok, he's stable in the hospital.'"
Stoneless69
GiphyDo people hear themselves when they say these things?
I'm at a loss.
Issues galore
"I worked with a guy who had some issues. He got big into paracord bracelets and was always trying to sell them to people at work. He once told us he fell out of a tree hunting took his paracord bracelet off managed to tie his foot off to a branch while falling then hanging upside down immediately shot a deer."
Squantoon
GiphyThe Surveyor
"I worked with a guy like this... every story was a lie. He told me he surveyed the football stadium in our town prior to its construction. I checked the dates... he was a qualified surveyor at 6 years old!"
"Then he told me his body chemistry was immune to acid. You could pour battery acid on him and it would not affect him. There were dozens of small ones and a few real big ones."
Otherwise_Bill_5898
Skip...
"I’ve got an acquaintance named Skip and every time I see him he’s got some kind of insane bull to tell me. Last time I saw him, he was telling me he was robbed at gunpoint while buying a trailer, so he pulled his personal carry firearm and shot the robber three times in the chest, protecting himself and his fiancé."
"The police 'cleared him on the spot and gave him his pistol back.'" We live in a tiny town, Skip. That didn’t happen. This conversation ended with him asking if I’d like to buy the f**king gun he lied about killing somebody with. F**k you Skip, you weird liar."
braindamnager
One Up
"Just that every single story anyone had to share he had a story to top that one. Got high score on a game? He got higher. Had an awesome vacation? His was better? Climbed a mountain? So did he… but without fear? Got into a bar fight? He once fought 4 dudes at once! It was like that every single time."
kenos99
Just One
"Had a college roommate claim he had an uncle on the Supreme Court. I asked him to name one Justice. Just one. Not like, which is your uncle. Just name any of them."
Oudeis16
Giphy“I’ve slept with them”
"A girl I knew did the whole 'I’ve slept with them.' As well expect the guy she said it to was my friend who is gay. Tried to double down and say she has absolutely slept with him and he was amazing blah blah blah. Makes me wonder why they lie about meaningless stuff when you can prove it’s fake."
Middle_Promise
The Neighbor Girl
"When we were 13 a classmate 'confided' in several of us girls that she had been attacked by a neighbor boy, but didn't want to tell her mom. I was horrified, and told MY mom, who called HER mom, who thanked us for calling, and then explained to us that her daughter was a pathological liar, currently in therapy, but that it wasn't going well. The weekend she claimed to have been attacked, they were all out of town. And there IS no neighbor boy."
the_littlest_blep
Slow Down
“I drove 320 mph in my millionaire friends super car when I was 14.”
DontShowMomMemes
Driving Biff Tannen GIF by Back to the Future TrilogyGiphy‘when she was famous’
"My mom was a very heavy drug user and would make up all sorts of things. She told me she had a different name that she went by ‘when she was famous,' and would point out pictures of models and actresses that somewhat resembled her and tell me 'Look, that’s mommy!' But the worst lie by far was that she had a chronic illness and that her doctor prescribed her medication that she had to either snort or smoke that I couldn’t tell anyone about."
"She ended up accidentally burning our home down ‘baking donuts’ (meth lab) shortly after I moved in with my dad. I was smart enough after a while to know what she was doing and it was my dream to see her again and help her make things better. She died of a fentanyl overdose days before I was supposed to visit her."
Caramel_Cappucino
Drive Away
"That she used to be a bus driver before she worked in the shop I used to work at. A couple months later I found out she doesn't even have a driver's licence lol."
brandonmufc06
Bad Cover Up
"His fake tan was because he was born in Puerto Rico (he was born in rural England to white English parents). The fake tan would get very patchy, and that would be explained away by him saying he had a terrible skin disorder. One so bad his own skin could stain his clothing. The white shirts unbuttoned far too low for him to be considered a reasonable gentleman did not help to cover that up for him."
Ampanampanampan
Final Stages
"That he and his wife were in a loveless marriage, basically nothing more than roommates that had stayed together this long because of their kid. But they were now in the final stages of divorce. His wife was not aware of any of this."
hunstinx
"One of my (then recently-divorced) aunts went through this. Everything finally came to light when she met the guy's wife at the hospital... because the guy had been struck by lightning."
Schneetmacher
Little Ones
"The worst lies are actually the insignificant ones. The ones where they didn't need to lie but did just because. When they lie about important stuff, at least you can somewhat understand. When they like about meaningless crap, you realize you just can't trust them."
sonheungwin
Happy Adam Scott GIF by SkyGiphyChaos
"He said tons of ridiculous crap, but the craziest was that his older brother (he said he has 18 brothers) is three months older than him. Not twins. Same moms. Separate pregnancies. He couldn’t explain it but told me they have a computer working on figuring out how it happened."
"Also he said he used to weigh 900 pounds. He hung his 100 inch waist size pants on the wall above his bed and every morning when he wakes up he stares at them and says 'never again.'"
ChalkDstTorture
Big Noter
"Thank God my mate got married (She just stops the stories when they become unbelievable), he was always trying to big note himself. I tried to nicely let him know that he 100% has me as a friend and doesn't need to impress me."
"- Went shark fishing on jetskis."
"- drove in reverse on the highway at night to see what speed it could do."
"- got his driver's license at 14 because he was that good they waved the age restriction."
Antmon666
I can't believe people sold those fibs with a straight face.
Just try the truth every so often.
You may like it.
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Reddit user RoundTriagonalSquare asked:
and I gotta be honest here people, I'm kind of disappointed in us collectively speaking. The sheer number of people out here in the universe wearing other people's pants is just staggering. At least that's what some of us would have police officers believe.
I'm not advocating lying to law enforcement ... all I'm saying is that if you're going to do it, at least make sure it's a new one, ya know? Not like these people.
The Pants Dance
"These aren't my pants"
Blew me away the first time I heard it. Laughed my butt of for the next few times after that. Then it became routine, maybe once every couple of weeks someone would try it.
Typically when they were being arrested, we'd have to search them for inventory and find: pipes, baggies, knives, etc. Which - according to the suspect- just happened to be in the pants when they put them on, and didn't notice they were in the pocket until we found them.
Dehydration
As we were treating the patient, the officer tried to get the story. Apparently, when the guy came home there was a man inside their house. His girlfriend, who was home, "did not know who the man was." (yup, she was cheating.)
The boyfriend "politely asked the gentlemen to leave," which he obliged. But the boyfriend thought he saw the random man in their house grab something and drive away. (Boyfriend and side dude fought. Side dude left.)
Out of frustration, he became so "dehydrated" that he wanted to go to the store immediately and get water. Which is when he promptly rammed into the car of said "random man." (Boyfriend got angry, chased him down, rammed his car.)
He then proceeded to get whooped by said "random man." (Oops. That didn't work out the way he had planned.)
Moral of the story is don't make decisions when you're "dehydrated."
Murdered Over Noodles
GiphyPolice officer of 24 years here. This is not an unbelievable lie, but rather a believable lie followed by an unbelievable truth.
When I worked homicide we responded to a dead body fallen from a high rise apartment call. The deceased is an elderly, Asian male. When we went upstairs and met with the wife, an elderly Asian woman, she told us he jumped and committed suicide in front of her.
She was hysterical and distraught. After talking to her for awhile, she revealed that he hadn't actually meant to commit suicide.
He pissed her off when he demanded dinner. He asked her for noodles and then went and took a nap. When water was boiling, she poured the boiling hot water on his face and body.
He woke from the nap disoriented, in shock and in horrible pain - and jumped out the window. Dead. 11 stories. Yes, he had scathing burn marks on his face when we inspected his body. She was arrested for murder.
Pants Again
Found a baggy of coke on a guy arrested in the courthouse, on his court date, after sentencing. He knew he had that court date and brought the coke anyway. His response when I pulled it out of his pocket?
"These aren't my pants, I borrowed them from my friend two years ago."
Donations
Got a call about a robbery. An elderly guy had been punched and someone stole his phone. The victim had a bloody mouth and gave a very good description of the suspect. I found the guy at a nearby bus stop and put him in cuffs. He had the phone sticking out of his back pocket. His story was that the victim walked up to him and just gave it to him.
Uh-huh
And then while I looked in a different direction for a second I looked back and he had been able to reach around in front of him and was digging in the front pocket of his hoodie. I pulled his hand out and he was holding a wad of crack. He immediately said that this wasn't his hoodie and some guy just gave it to him. But it was a different guy than the one with a phone.
Now he wasn't wearing a shirt under the hoodie and it was in the mid 30's. I guess he was just walking around with no shirt on and people just decided to donate stuff to him.
We don't catch the smart ones folks.
Whaaaaaaat?
We were searching a car and found meth and pipe next to the passenger, the driver (in the most unconvincing tone possible) said "Whaaaaaat? I can't believe that...that's crazy...I would never expect that from her. I'll be honest with you, (usually means they're about to lie) I had no idea she had that."
Two minutes later I go to search him and unsurprisingly find another bag of meth at his feet, just under the bumper of the car. He said it was there when he got out of the car.
Red-handed
I quite literally had a case involving a guy doing graffiti with red spray paint. He tried to deny that it was him when we caught up to him - with red paint all over his hands...
In HD
GiphyThe dickheads who deny its them in the HD quality CCTV of them shoplifting is always a laugh. Especially when they have been caught just after and they are in the same clothes, same obviously Tatts, everything.
Great Throw (Yup, More Pants)
Had a woman say, when a baggie of suspected coke was found in her pants pocket, that "some one threw it over the stall wall while I was in the bathroom and it landed in my pocket."
Undercover
"I'm really undercover following this lady around she's a known meth dealer" - from an obvious crack head...
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not out here advocating for lying our faces off - but there are some situations where the truth just isn't necessarily the kindest, safest, or most productive route.
Don't believe me? I'll prove it with the help of everyone's favorite website, Reddit. Reddit user tinythunder15 asked:
When is lying better than being honest?
The responses were full of situations that some of us may never even have imagined, some of which we hope to never find ourselves in. Take a look, but brace. Some of this got really, really sad.
No Need To Relive It
"When the patient with dementia asks you, again, where their deceased spouse/child/other very important person in their life is."
"Telling the truth only makes them relive the horror and despair of finding out that that person has passed away all over again."
"I worked with a guy who had dementia and killed his wife. He was in an inpatient psychiatric facility that was locked and secured. He couldn't remember anything for more than 20 minutes. He would regularly ask us why his wife wasn't coming to visit him. One time his son told him out of spite and he flew into a self destructive depressive rage."
"Half hour later the guy didn't understand why his knuckles were bruised and sore and why the wall was bloodied. He seemed like a really nice guy and had created this persona that he was a loving husband who would do anything for his wife, wrote her three love letters a day, and wanted to help others. It's almost like he forget he was this jealous monster who killed his wife when she tried to divorce him."
"In either event, we just stopped telling him. We would say "Maybe tomorrow" knowing that he wouldn't remember asking us by lunch, let alone tomorrow."
"Does telling someone the truth and dropping crushing news on them making them come to the realization that their world is a lie and they killed the person they loved the most 5-6 times a day when they can't do anything about it or change who they are through introspection really benefit anyone?"
"I can think of instances where I was genuinely ok with lying - and they all focused around caring with people with memory issues. Sometimes it was about granddad being dead, other times it was about forgetting to do mundane stuff that didn't really matter. For example if they asked around naptime: "Did I start the laundry?" I would just say yes, then go see if the laundry is started once she's asleep, and if not, I would start it."
"Sometimes people with those issues ask if they're a burden, or if you're ok. You tell them they're not a burden, and you're ok... because I mean, wtf else are you gonna say? "It's hard, and yes, it's a burden, but you're family, and you couldn't stop me from caring for ya if you tried." They wouldn't understand and it would make them feel guilty."
I wasn't ok, but I always told her I was doing fine. Sometime grandmom was a proper wench to me towards the end (dementia sucks), but when she was having lucid moments and asked about how she was doing at other times, I told her she was fine and generally just sleepy. There was no point in making her feel bad over something she can't control."
""So... generally, when people are in their sunset years I'm fine with lying for kindness. I'm not necessarily gonna say what's "better" because it isn't on me to judge you; but I'll say that I understand people in those situations are all just doing the best they can, and I don't fault people either for lying, or for telling a harsh truth every once in a while."
Only The "Mentally Strong"
"Interviews. I was asked so what have you been doing the past year because it had been over a year since my graduation. I, like an idiot, answered honestly and replied that I was in a depression, but now I'm fine."
"So when the the roll call came for the name of selected candidates the first thing the person who was announcing said that they needed "mentally strong" people. Okay, then."
The Ambulance Lie
"Telling someone in the ambulance that they're going to live."
"I have a friend who is an ambo. He tells patients he's never had someone die in his ambulance... which is technically true. Because they refuse to declare someone dead in the truck, because otherwise they have to drive to the morgue and fill out a bunch of paperwork. Instead, they continue to administer CPR until they get to the hospital and let the on duty doctor declare the time of death. That way the body is the hospitals problem and not theirs."
"I was looking into becoming an EMT a few years ago. They taught us never to tell a patient they're going to live. Instead, you're supposed to dodge the question by saying, "We're doing our best to help you."
- Alinda_
"You've never had to lie to someone in the back of an ambulance then. When someone is dying, those BS platitudes are pretty obvious."
"SCENARIO : You're the single occupant of a vehicle driving between 50-70mph that has struck a deer at night. The deer entered the passenger compartment. The antlers of the deer have penetrated your chest."
"An ambulance arrives 16 minutes after the impact (this is practically light-speed if you're rural) and the ambulance crew (EMT-B and EMT-P..because you're lucky and it's a 3-person crew) look at you, as you realize you feel cold and numb and you ask "Hey...am I going to be OK?"...as you cough up some blood from the growing hemothorax in your chest..."
".....uh....*ahem......er...."!!!!WE ARE DOING OUR BEST TO HELP YOU!!!!"......please don't die....."
"you hear.. in a robotic, terrified voice... from the EMT who is working on you. You feel good about that.... or maybe you want someone to lie to you (because who knows... maybe they're wrong and you're gonna live anyway?)"
"It just doesn't always work. You go ahead and tell people who are dying that you're not allowed to discuss statistical averages... see how well that goes down sport."
Safety Over Honesty
Giphy"When you're lgbt and your parents are extremely homophobic/transphobic. Basically, when telling the truth will put you in danger."
"If you're gay in Iran, its definitely better to lie."
- Toad_0
White Lies Save Lives
"When you are speaking to a person who is about commit suicide. Speak as if life is better, even if it isn't at the moment. I'm not saying you should 100% lie, but if you lie (in case you NEED to lie) enough to get that person to seek help instead of committing the act, you will understand the need of a little lie."
- SooWh4t
"As someone who's been on the other side, I'm glad my best friend lied when he had no f-ing clue what was really gonna happen. I'm here today and I'm thankful."
A Hideout
"If a guest at my hotel is hiding from an abusive SO or parent(s) and the abuser(s) show up or call looking for them, I'm certainly going to lie and say I've never heard of the person they're looking for. I've worked in hotels for nearly two decades, and on a few occasions over the years have actually dealt with this situation."
Lying To Kids
"I fully support lying to kids. Whenever they make a crappy art project, tell them it's great. Sing terribly along to a song, tell them it was great. I want my kids to be confident. There are enough people in the world who are going to tell them they suck, they need to KNOW that there are people who will think they and what they do is awesome."
Maybe To Protect Them
"It's a feeling, I want to tell my parents that I had a horrible day at school and that I feel sad but... I just can't... it's better that we are happier. Maybe it's to protect them, maybe it's to prevent them from prying, or maybe take action."
A Matter Of Public Safety
"I had a friend who's grandma had severe dementia. She'd get out money to pay for a delivered pizza, and when the pizza came, she couldn't find it. She also would be driving and forget where to go and blackout sometimes. My friend ended up telling her grandma that she got her license taken away to protect her and everyone else on the road."
- Yawang04
CPR And Everything
"When there's a vehicle accident and the involved party asks you if the other party is okay and you know they're dead."
"The driver was performing CPR and everything on this dude who was drunk riding his bicycle on the wrong side of the road with no lights at night. It wasn't his fault, but he never could have lived with himself."
"We held the scene (as we usually do when there's a fatal accident) and I had to lie to the driver that the bicyclist was okay in the hospital."
- anticsd
Call Me Shallow
Giphy"Breakups, sometimes."
"May be an unpopular opinion, but I think there are times when lying to someone about why you are breaking up is the right thing to do. To be clear, I only think this is a good idea if it is a very young relationship or you haven't been dating very long. If you are in a long term relationship, you owe it to that person to be honest at that point."
"So for instance, earlier this year I was dating a girl for a bout a month. Initially I wanted to make the relationship work, because she was a really sweet girl. But as we saw each other more and more, I started to realize that I just wasn't that physically attracted to her. Call me shallow if you want, but physical attraction is an important thing in a relationship. I thought that maybe I could gloss over this in light of her other qualities. But it became something that I started to think about more and more."
"So I eventually decided to break things off with her. When I did, I just told her that I didn't think I was ready for a relationship right now and that we should probably just be friends. Which was a lie. But being honest with her would have meant saying something like "I just don't find you that physically attractive." Which to me, is far more damaging and just kind of mean."
"Whether or not people want to admit it, I think that this is honestly pretty common. With a great many breakups, there's the reason that they gave you, and then there's the real reason."
Tell Them When They're Older
"When my kids ask about their grandfather, my father. All the young kids in my immediate family think he died from a heart attack. Truth is he shot himself while both him and I were home. When they're older i tell them the truth, but no need to put that on a little kid."
Your Number
"How many men (as a woman) you've slept with. It really makes them either upset that they probably aren't the "best," or upset they aren't the first. It's truly a double standard I hate."
The Truth Is Dangerous
"It might be a messed up idea, but if lying helps you in a situation or simply makes a situation better than lie. I mean yeah if the situation will be resolved or handled better with honesty then, by all means, tell the truth. They say the truth will set you free, I, on the other hand, say sometimes the truth is too dangerous."
Unnecessary Harm
"When the truth would cause unnecessary harm."
"A friend of mine was prepping to break up with her fiance, and then she died after some medical complications. They were living together and planning their wedding at this point. At her funeral I recounted some sweet stories of them together that she had shared, and told him how much she loved him."
"Telling him anything else would have been cruel. She isn't coming back, and there would be only pain from knowing the truth."
Chillin' With Jake
"When you're still living with your parents but your leaving to go have sexy time."
"Hey guys, going to chill with Jake, might spend the night. Dont wait up!"
"Am I going to tell my saint of a mother I'm going to have premarital sex? Never ever!"
Plated
"Here's my story. My (now) wife bought an engagement ring off the internet. She read 18k gold so that's what she thought she got. Well turns out it was 18k gold PLATED over lead. How did I find out? Stones kept falling out and when the jeweler cleaned it, it basically became nothing."
"I knew she'd never forgive herself if she found out. So I paid for the mold to be made of the exact ring with real gold and stones. I will take that to my grave."
Gestapo
"The Gestapo is knocking on your door, asking if you're hiding anyone. You are. LIE."
Thanks to these Redditors for breaking down when the best time to lie is.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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