Sexual invitations are apparently in the eye of the beholder.

Never again will a sneeze or a lollipop be a PG behavior. That stuff gets X-rated QUICK.


When a purely functional action appears wildly sexual, it's a total paradigm shift.

It does not matter if years went by with no promiscuous conclusions. The action could have been totally functional, a mundane behavior of daily life.

But it shifts.

When the threshold is crossed into the sex universe, the once behavior can never regain the old innocence.

It’s like passing the risqué Rubicon.

But this is not the Roman army stuck on the wrong side of a river. This is an array oftongues and lips and teeth and eyes, in no particular order.

Xikayo asked, "What seemingly innocent action gives off a sexual impression?"

All About the Subtext

"When I was 15 I made an animation for my friend's dad's drilling company. It showed a drill rod rotating in and out of a dirt hole which had a patch of grass around it. My mother saw it and told me to rethink it."

-- FatherOfTheSevenSeas

COUGH INTO YOUR ELBOW

"When people make a fist to cough into, that second when they have their mouths open, I always imagine them sucking d*ck, always. And it doesn't matter who, everyone." -- tibisay_the_monkey

"Read this. Coughed like this. Got enlightened. Not doing that ever again." -- secksiboi62

In Good Hands

"When a guy is putting the car in reverse and puts his arm around the passenger seat to look behind him." -- kaylapears

"YES LORD" -- Belialzebub

"Highly underrated. Being focused is so hot." -- themoondream

Routine Maintenance 

"Pulling out a wedgie/adjusting the crotch area. I'm just feeling like a sandwich down there." -- ParadoxicalProblem

"I feel really embarrassed when I notice my zipper is down. I try to fix it without anyone noticing because I'm afraid they will think I'm doing some perverted stuff." -- oldcoffee

Through a Lens of Loneliness

"When I was younger, getting a hug from a girl would have me fantasizing about our future together for months." -- Diraka

"Sh*t, it wouldn't even take a hug for me. When I was younger, a girl could just be polite while I was paying her for my Auntie Anne's pretzels and before the transaction was over she was the one and we were going to be together forever." -- compendium88

"Look at this player." -- Maselang_Bahaghari

Gotta Be a Freud Quote for this

"The look on your face when you're about to sneeze." -- SomeOriginalContent

"Can confirm. People pay me money to sneeze, and it is definitely sexual to them." -- wanderingnightt

"They say a sneeze is 1/8 of an orgasm. That's why I keep a pepper shaker on my nightstand." -- Torpid-O

The Hot, and the Not So Hot

"Seeing a guy take off a sweater by reaching over his head and pulling it off. I have no idea how guys are able to undress this way but it can definitely be a turn on." -- DazedAndConfused0112

"Because they don't have boobs." -- aqua64

"I stuff my arms into the sleeve then slip my head in..." -- Synzy

Risqué Dessert 

"I no longer eat ice cream in public thanks to multiple people telling me that I eat them 'seductively.'" -- dragon8713

"Similarly I got in trouble for deep-throating a popsicle when I was like 8. I don't even know why I did it. My step dad told me to stop." -- Chipring13

“Friends,” Right.

"Trying to make a friend of the opposite sex once you're over 25. It's SO hard to just make friends without it seeming like you're trying to get with them." -- ACakeCalledDenial

"I have a female coworker that I chat with regularly, my wife thinks she wants to bang me. 'No, Honey, not all opposite sex relationships have to revolve around sex.'"

"Turns out she was right... but I shut that down lol." -- medium2slow

The Most Innocent, the Most Sexual

"Genuinely listening/responding. I can find you interesting without wanting to get in your pants." -- Sloth_Reborn

"This. God knows how many times I have given the wrong idea because somehow people have come to conclusion that you only listen to opposite gender if you wanna f*ck them." -- Moonlights_Embrace

The amount of frivolous personal complaints seems to have hit new levels.

Whether it's complaints from co-workers or customers, nonsense is nonsense. The things I've heard people complain about in the workplace boggles my mind.

"Your smile isn't bright enough."

"I didn't feel appreciated."

"The color of your shirt is too loud."

"Your name is offensive."

Redditor InfiniteCalendar1 wanted to hear about some of the drama that's been thrown people's way, so they asked:

"What is the most ridiculous thing someone has filed a complaint against you or someone you know about?"
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Photo by That's Her Business on Unsplash

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I hate that fact about life, so I do my best to ignore it. But I know it's there. So every once in a while I can't help but wonder about it.

My biggest hope is the end is quick and painless, but some warning would be nice, so I have time to do a few things.

I often ponder what that list of "things" would entail if I was given a warning.

And what if that ending was coming fast? How do you sufficiently spend a few hours wrapping up a life?

Redditor Valleygawd wanted to hear about how we would spend those final, precious moments by asking:

"You have 24 hours left alive, what do you do for your last day on earth?"
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