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Girl Suggests Threesome With Boyfriend, But Now Wants To Sleep With Someone Else Because He Did

Ahh, threesomes... the roulette of monogamous relationships. You spin and take your turn never knowing if this is going to end in a fizzle, some fireworks, or a freakout. Spoiler alert: unless you're both experienced players, there's been a LOT of talk and clear boundaries drawn, or both - it's pretty likely to end in freakout. Bummer, cause fireworks fam. Fireworks.


Enter our the lovelorn hero of our tale.

He let his girlfriend talk him into a threesome. At first, he thought it had ended in fireworks. Alas, getting away unscathed was not in the cards. His girlfriend soon came to him with an idea. Now that he had been intimate with someone other than her - she should have the right to be intimate with a man other than him. According to her, it didn't matter that she was also intimate with their third partner since she was another woman. There had been no discussion of this before the threesome. Had our Reddit Romeo been hoodwinked? Perhaps his lady love is just more adventurous than he previously thought and wants to try out all of her fantasies now?

In His Words:

My girlfriend was the one who suggested a threesome. At first I wasn't sure if she was serious, but when I found out she was, I was pretty ecstatic. I never thought there could be an ulterior motive.

I'd never known her to be bi or anything like that, and she still identifies as a straight girl. But she seemed keen to experiment and "open up" as she put it. So I was only happy to go along.

The other girl was an acquaintance we only loosely know, and we see her every now and again. My girlfriend knows her better than I do, and she's the one who set most of it up.

When we had the threesome, it seemed fun for all of us, and I feel I should point out that it wasn't just me who was having sex with this other girl, but my girlfriend who also having sex with her and doing stuff with her on the day.

Now here's where things get messy. About a week later, my girlfriend comes up with a new proposition. She asks me that since I got to have sex with another girl, if she can have sex with another guy. She said its only fair, since I got to have sex with a girl outside the relationship, she gets to have sex with a guy. (edit: Details in case of confusion. She suggested either a MMF (male/male/female) threesome, or just her plus another guy, whichever I'd be most amenable to)

I instantly said absolutely no, it was out of the question. I pointed out to her that the threesome was for both of us, not just me. And it wasn't just I who had sex with someone outside of our relationship, but she did as well, with the same person, so its fair and even. I said it shouldn't matter if this other person was same sex or opposite sex.

What's more, I said that when she proposed the threesome, at no point did she suggest, mention, or imply, this would mean she'd be able to try somebody else.

I feel like the whole threesome was a set-up so she could afterwards push the issue of having sex with another guy. And I'm pretty sure she has a guy lined up in mind, it sure sounded like it.

So I'm pretty obstinate about "No", she can't have sex with someone else. She thinks I'm being unfair, and maintains the position that she should be allowed to, since I had sex with the that girl in the threesome (even though she also had sex with her)

I feel like I was manipulated, used, and set up. Part of me fears she's going to go and cheat with the other guy anyway, even though I said no. For this reason I'm strongly considering ending our relationship now and going our separate ways. Although personally I'd prefer we settle this in a way without her cheating and without ending our relationship.

I'm not interested in an open relationship or a f^ckbuddy situation or anything like that. The threesome was fun, but I don't want to do that too regularly.

Oh BOY did Reddit have a lot to say about this. Here are some of our favorite responses, edited for language and clarity when needed.

She'll Do It Regardless

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Honestly, I'd say she already had a guy lined up and if you adamantly say no she will do it regardless. I am usually hopeful on this subject, but this sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. Like she wants to be in a steady relationship and still play around while she's young. I'd say just leave now, she won't admit she has a guy on the mind but will shortly after you agree.

- Kumbackkid

Different Boundaries

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If you don't want your girlfriend to have sex with another guy, you shouldn't have had sex with another girl.

IMHO you've screwed up. You overstepped a boundary that you implement on her. How can you have a good relationship if the other is treated unequally and has different boundaries?

I would always put myself into my partners position before I'd do something like this.

Also did she want you to have that threesome, so it would give her leeway to do it with another guy?

- tomputer

Retroactively Insecure

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Honestly, it sounds like she is retroactively insecure that she saw you with another woman so she feels like the only way she'll feel okay inside is to do the same. Really you should ask if this is about her feeling insecure/jealous more than if it has anything to really do with fucking another guy.

- 0909a0909

We Need To Talk

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"Have a seat. We need to talk. I am really not happy with how things went down after our threesome. I feel a lot like you set that up because you want to have sex with another guy and that you have some one in mind in particular. It feels like you initiated this to try to manipulate me into saying yes to this situation, and I'm pretty pissed off about that. Now I also have the concern that no matter what I say, you're going to go cheat anyway and try to justify it to yourself. You've put up enough of a fuss about this that I really don't feel like I can trust you to stay faithful to the boundaries of our relationship. It's to the point where I'm thinking of ending things altogether, but before I go that route I wanted to give you a chance to say anything you feel that you need to."

At that point, you're watching for her reaction. If she continues to try to justify and convince you, proceed with the dumping. Very importantly though, if she back pedals and tries to save the relationship, you absolutely need to pin her down on who it was she had in mind. Even if it was several some one's, I'd probably insist that she cut contact with all of them as a condition of moving on together. She is no longer interested in their friendship platonicly and you would be completely justified in cutting persistent threats out of your relationship. You avoid cheating by not placing yourself face first in the middle of temptation, and you're honestly never going to be comfortable with her hanging around them from that point forward. While you're on the precipice of ending things anyway, don't allow the future to be set up in a way that's going to have you riddled with anxiety. Get what you need full bore from this conversation or find some one who can respect your boundaries more than she does.

- Falxen

It's A Wildcard

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Having had threesomes before while in a relationship, I can say that it's the kind of thing that you just can't plan for. Even if you have the strongest relationship in the world and both of you seem completely on board and there are no ulterior motives, you never know what might change when you're in the middle of things.

My last ex ultimately ended up cheating on me about six months after we had a threesome with one of her friends. She told me post-breakup that she really had gone into the threesome all excited and ready (it was her idea), but that she couldn't get the image of her friend giving me oral out of her mind afterwards. That was pretty much the only thing that night that she wasn't directly involved in, and only for a period of about a minute or two, but she said that image overwhelmed all of the good experiences for her. I think a desire to "even the score" prompted her cheating, and while I'm sure your girlfriend is a better person than my ex, I just have to reiterate: threesomes are wildcards. Even with the best possible preparations and situation, you still never know what the fallout will be like, especially if it's your first time.

- AngryPurpleTeddyBear

Different Mentalities

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This issue you're talking about is a big reason why I'm (f) not into the idea of a threesome. Because between my boyfriend and I, I would be down to do MFF or MMF, but he would only want MFF. What that tells me is that he doesn't actually believe pleasure should be shared and we shouldn't be tied sexually to one person.

Rather he's just cool with a threesome because he doesn't see a girl joining as a threat. So we would be doing a threesome based on different mentalities, which seems way too risky and like it wouldn't be fair.

- GrandadsLadyFriend

Learning An Important Lesson About Yourself

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If you're not comfortable with her f^cking another male-identified and penis-equipped individual in any capacity, under any circumstance, then the relationship is over. If you say no, she's going to do it anyway because by her logic, you fucked another woman.

If you are, then take a few days to envision a scenario you'd be comfortable with. Maybe she just goes out one night and does her thing, without you knowing anything. Maybe you're fist-bumping your bro as you hook him up with some quality trim. Whatever. Write it down, think it out, and tell her what you're comfortable with. After all, the first threesome went down as she proscribed, right? Get it done, and see how you feel. If you're super skeeved then it wasn't meant to be and you've learned an important lesson about yourself.

She wants to do it without ending your relationship. That's worth noting.

- bostick

Long-Distance Camping

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I enjoy them a lot--but you have to be damn careful the first few times. You have to be really communicative before and during the event, you have to slow it down or stop entirely if anyone is having any problems, and you have to stick fast to the boundaries laid out before everything gets going, no matter how much you think it's okay to go past them because she's having a good time. Like, if she says "No an*l with the other woman," even if she says "Go ahead and do an*l" during the thing, DON'T DO IT, because afterward she might think "Yeah, that was stupid of me, I wish I hadn't given him the go-ahead." Passionate decisions are frequently hurtful decisions, and I think that causes as much trouble as any other part of a threesome could.

It's a lot like...long-distance camping, I guess? For the people who do it regularly, who are accustomed to all the work that goes into it, it's not that difficult, and generally it only gets easier with time. For the people who are completely new at it, there's a couple of different types--the ones who do all the reading, lots of prep, think carefully about "What would I do if (bad situation) happened?" set milestones where they'll check in, and make sure before and during that their companions are all on the same page.

And then you get the ones who go in completely inexperienced but thinking "This isn't a big deal! I don't need to tell anyone what's going on. I don't need to make sure I've prepared, it's not like it's going to be that much different than what I've done before."

But a threesome is not like a two-person overnight! And unfortunately there's no such thing as park rangers or search and rescue for sex...

- RememberKoomValley

A Little Introspetion

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Ultimately, if you aren't comfortable with a MMF threesome, there isn't anything wrong with that. There are a few things you may want to consider, which could impact what happens from here or just be good introspection.

-You aren't OK with her having sex with another man, but you were OK with her having sex with a woman. Why is that?

-Why do you assume that she's the sort of person who would deliberately manipulate you like this, instead of thinking the most likely scenario was that the urge for a MMF threeway came after she fulfilled her fantasy of a FFM one and experimented with that woman? Has she behaved in ways before that indicated she's a manipulative person? If so, this could have been the latest red flag. If not, consider why that's what you think of her and why you jump to that assumption first.

-If you're happy with a sexually adventurous girlfriend, and end up staying with this one, why don't you think of some things you'd like to experiment with and bring them up to her as well? She may be feeling like it's all up to her to spice up your sex life and that's why she got a little stuck on this.

-Have a conversation with her about how relationships aren't about being "even", they're about being "happy". Bringing a woman into the bedroom made you both happy. Bringing a male in only makes her happy. The ideal solution isn't a tally system of getting what each of you wants - it's finding things you both want and enjoying them together.

-Don't bother with the manipulation tactics people have suggested here. If she was in fact being a manipulative person with this, it brings you down to her level. If she wasn't, then it makes you the manipulative ass in this situation. There is not a "win" condition possible in that scenario.

- Reddit

Jumping To Conclusions

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I'm going to be honest: I don't see the girlfriend as immediately wanting to cheat. He should NEVER do something he doesn't want to, and his girl is wrong in trying to pull the "you got to f^ck another girl, now I do" card. However, immediately jumping to the conclusion that she's already emotionally invested in another guy is... Jumping to conclusions. If and only IF you're actually open to a threesome with a guy, then insist that you'll be the one picking the guy. Or insist that your both pick a guy TOGETHER. That should alleviate some of your worries. Don't try to make it a petty revenge and purposely pick a guy she would be totally turned off by though, just to make sure that it's truly a fun time.

There's still a possibility that she simply went about the VERY wrong way. She's still very wrong for trying to guilt you into having a threesome with a guy if you're truly not into it, but I think that doesn't immediately mean she wants to cheat on you. Honestly I'm pretty interested in threesomes with all sexes myself, and I can see myself saying "hey, what do you say about trying ___ out next?"

That wasn't what your girl did and it's really too bad, but it's possible that the sentiment behind it was similar?

- magikarpcandosplash

Establish Dominance With Uber Gay Sex

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I have two things I would do. Ask her if she has chosen a guy or if you could chose a guy since she chose the girl. This lets you know if she had this planned all along.

Once you 3 are all alone it would be the perfect time to say "shotgun" and get first dibs. Have uber gay sex with the guy and make her sit there as you have having it while keeping stern eye contact with her. Once you guys are spent, just collapse in to a huddle and fall asleep with a grin on your face.

- DarkCircle

Different Meanings

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It's possible you both thought that the threesome meant different things. So, you thought it was a one-off and she thought "Okay, so we're trying option 1 and next time we'll try option 2."

She thus might think its unfair because she expected that, but that doesn't mean that bending to that would be fair to you.

Obviously, you shouldn't have to do anything sexually that you don't want to, ever. I just wanted to put that out there.

- wafflesthewonderhurs

Why Is She Being Demonized?

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Haha wow. So if a girl wants a MFF threesome with her boyfriend, it's all cool, but if she also wants a MFM threesome, it's obvious that she's shady and just looking for an excuse to cheat? It's totally not possible that she's just interested in the other kind of threesome, and was using the "fairness" argument as a weak tactic to try and convince OP. Like seriously, just as much chance that the first threesome was "an excuse to cheat" too... except dude was ok with that one.

There is zero indication that if he says no that she's gonna go do it anyway. I'm sick of the knee jerk reaction people here have to any woman who suggests a "devil's threesome." Why do we even call it that? That's so stupid. Do all guys who want a MFF threesome already have a woman picked out too? Is that why you're so suspicious? Why is expressing a desire to do one type of threesome an indication that a girl is planning to cheat, while the desire for the other kind is normal?

OP, don't do it if you're not comfortable with it, but don't dump your gf over it either. Recognize that she probably did do the original threesome more for your pleasure than hers. Honestly, if the situation were reversed, and the MFM threesome happened first, wouldn't you also ask for the other kind? She should have been honest about wanting a MFM threesome before you had the other one, but really you'd have just been posting here a week ago and the comments would be exactly the same. "She just wants to f*** another guy, so she's gonna let you f*** another girl for leverage". Completely ignoring that you also wanted to, and did, f*** another woman. So why is she being demonized for a desire you actually acted on?

- sillypuppy215

Hypocritical

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It's not that you don't want to that's hypocritical. It's that when she asked about a fmf, you were happy, and when she asked about a mfm you were pissed and suspicious. She's asking for exactly the same thing in both instances--a threesome--but one makes you decide she wants to cheat and one makes you happy. That's where the problem is. (I'm not saying you should feel guilty for saying no, I'm saying you shouldn't be pissed that she asked. That's a huge difference.)

- socksforbdays

Clearly This Is A Plot

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I've read a few of the comments. I just want to say something about them. People this isn't about his girlfriend wanting to experiment or have another threesome. She asked to have a MMF threesome or f^ck a guy alone.

If it was just a "can we have a MMF threesome now" that would be fine. She specifically said she should be able to f^ck another guy because of the FMF threesome. She has already picked a guy and wants to f^ck him either in a threesome or alone. This is her manipulating the OP through the initial threesome. Clearly this is a plot that has been in the making for a long time.

- Reddit

Incompatible

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First of all, yes this does seem like an underhanded move and was manipulative. She shouldn't be pressuring you into a threesome because that was never agreed upon.

Second of all, if you're that afraid of her cheating, then there isn't a lot of trust (or honesty) in this relationship and this issue is moot. You shouldn't have to agree to a threesome to keep someone from cheating. If it's that important to her to have sex with another guy, she should break up with you first.

But relationships can't be 100% about tit-for-tat and legally binding verbal contracts and whatnot. There's more questions here:

  1. Who picked the girl? If both of you had a say in it, you should have a say in the guy.
  2. Just to make things clear, she's not asking for a MMF (where you'd have to interact with a guy) right? Is a MFM (where the men don't interact) uncomfortable for you? Or is it just because you can't handle her being with another man at all? For threesomes it really doesn't matter if anyone is bi. It's not correct to say that a FFM is okay cause your gf is bicurious but a MFM is not because you're not bicurious (unless she's forcing you to interact with him).
  3. If she really has another guy in a mind specifically she really shouldn't have been this underhanded. She should've said "hey I really want to f^ck this one guy, it's not an emotional thing at all, I won't leave you for him I just think he's hot. Can we talk about it? Would a threesome situation make you feel more comfortable since you're involved? Why don't we do a FMF to spice things up too and fulfill your desires?"

I guess you might end up saying no more threesomes or sex with anyone else for anyone. Maybe you guys are incompatible that way. She needs to understand that she should be open with her intentions and fantasies rather than trying to do something underhanded. But if it's still that important for her to have sex with another guy and you're not comfortable with that in any context (even if you get to pick the guy and are present) then I guess it's not meant to be.

Good luck!

- throwthebar

Obvious It Was A Set Up

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It's so obvious it was a set up. She's been banging this guy or emotionally cheating on you with him behind your back already and now she wants to legitimise it.

Break up with her. You can't both grow through this problem together, she wants to fuck other people already and now you're the gatekeeper, something women aren't used to. Guarantee you she's going to go behind your back if you say no anyways.

- Silva_Shadow

Try Communicating

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I think you might be over thinking things here. I'll try to shed the light from the opposing side. Maybe you should talk to her and see if the threesome ended up hurting her feelings. I mean, she did watch you bust a nut inside of another girl. That's not easy for any SO to watch. That's probably why she feels justified in having another man in the mix.

Also, if she wants to experiment and you were okay with another girl coming along, it shouldn't be wrong for another guy to come along. That's pretty unfair to be okay with a two girl threesome because you got the better cut than with a two guy threesome. Maybe she's watched some porn or heard about an awesome two guy threesome scenario and wants to try it out. Everything doesn't have to have an ulterior motive! Also, if that happened to be her alternative motive, that's pretty jacked and you should dump her.

"Colon pounding" some other guy in a threesome like another user posted not only would make things worse all around, but would be a pretty jackwad thing to do if she didn't intend none of that to happen. Also I think the man there would want to involve her too. Point of threesome. You should communicate with her. Most problems I see on here is lacking that HUGELY. Ask her, try to understand, and if she's twisted, she's just a girlfriend and not a wife or something. Dump her. Simple.

Sorry for any mistakes, I'm on my phone.

- guellikeafish

Open and Closed

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So you guys opened up your relationship for a girl, but you're closing it again before a guy can get involved. Sounds unfair to me.

And anyway, if you don't want an open relationship like you said at the end of your post, then why the hell did you open it in the first place? If I was your girlfriend, I'd be miffed too.

- Zuccherina

Reciprocity

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How have you not discussed the reciprocity factor before accepting the ffm threesome?

Considering your age, this looks to me like a future breakup and lesson learned for the future to discuss boundaries, fantasies and what is acceptable to both partners before bringing another person in your bed.

- anatem

H/T: Reddit

People Describe The Creepiest Things They Ever Witnessed As A Kid

"Reddit user -2sweetcaramel- asked: 'What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?'"

Four mistreated baby dolls are hung by barb wire
Photo by J Lopez

For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.

Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.

The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.

Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:

"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"

Serious Danger

"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."

"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."

oofboof2020

Waiting for Food

"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."

"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."

nowhereboy1964

Captain Hobo to the Rescue

"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."

"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"

"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."

FartAttack911

Survival

tsunami GIF Giphy

"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."

faithfulpoo

These Tsunami stories are just tragic.

On the Sand

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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."

oyloff

Be Clever

"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."

OstneyPiz

Bad Jokes

"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."

Alegan239

YOU

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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"

PrettyLola2004

Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.

No one should talk to others in the dark though.

Woman stressed at work
Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

When we hear about other people's jobs, we've surely all done that thing where we make assumptions about the work they do and maybe even judge them for having such an easy or unimportant job.

But some jobs are much harder than they look.

Redditor CeleryLover4U asked:

"What's a job or profession that seems easy but is incredibly challenging?"

Customer Service

"Anything customer-facing. The public is dumb and horrendous."

- gwarrior5

"My go-to explanation is, 'Anyone can do it, but few can do it for long.'"

- Conscious_Camel4830

"The further I get in my corporate career, the less I believe I will ever again be capable of working a public-facing job. I don’t know how I did it in the past. I couldn’t handle it in the present."

"I know people are only getting worse about how they treat workers. It is disturbing, embarrassing, and draining for everyone."

- First-Combination-12

High Stakes

"A pharmacist."

"You face the public. Your mistake can literally kill someone."

- VaeSapiens

"Yes, Pharmacist. So many people think their job is essentially the same as any other kind of retail worker and they just prepare prescriptions written by a doctor without having to know anything about them."

"They are very highly trained in, well, pharmacology; and it's not uncommon for a pharmacist to notice things like potentially dangerous drug interactions that the doctor hadn't."

- Worth_University_884

Teaching Woes

"Two nuggets of wisdom from my mentor teacher when I was younger:"

"'Teaching is the easiest job to do poorly and the hardest job to do well,' and 'You get to choose two of the following three: Friends, family, or being a good teacher. You don't have enough time to do all three.'"

"We all know colleagues or remember teachers who were lazy and chose the easy route, but any teacher who is trying to be a good teacher has probably sacrificed their friends and their sleep for little pay and a stressful work environment. There's a reason something like half quit the profession within the first five years."

- bq87

Creativity Is "Easy"

"Some creative professions, such as designers, are often perceived as 'easy' due to their creative nature. However, they may face the constant need to find inspiration, deal with criticism, and meet deadlines."

- rubberduckyis

"EVERYBODY thinks they are a designer, up until the point of having to do the work. But come critique time, mysteriously, EVERYBODY IS A F**KING DESIGNER AGAIN."

"The most important skill to have as a designer is THICK SKIN."

- whitepepper

Care Fatigue Is Real

"Care work."

"I wish it could be taken for granted that no one thinks it's easy. But unfortunately, many people still see it as an unskilled job and have no idea of the many emotional complexities, or of how much empathy, all the time, is needed to form the sorts of relationships with service users that they really need."

- MangoMatiLemonMelon

Physical Labor Generally Wins

"I’m going to say most types of unskilled labor and that’s because there’s such little (visible) reward and such a huge amount of bulls**t. I’ve done customer service, barista, sales, serving, etc; and it was all much harder than my cushy desk job that actually can be considered life or death."

- anachronistika

Their Memory Banks Must Be Wild

"I don't know if I'd call it incredibly challenging, but being one of those old school taxi drivers who know the city like the back of his hand and can literally just drive wherever being told nothing but an address is pretty impressively skilled."

"Not sure if it's still like this, but British cabbies used to be legendary for this. I'm 40 and I don't think most young people appreciate how much the quality of cab service has gone down since the advent of things like Uber."

"Nowadays it's just kind of expected that a rideshare/cab driver doesn't know exactly where you're trying to get and has to rely on GPS directions that they often f up. Back when I was in college, cabbies were complete experts on their city."

"More even than knowing how to get somewhere, they could also give you advice. You could just generally describe a type of bar/club/business you're looking for, and they'll take you right to one that was spot on. Especially in really big cities like NYC."

- Yak-Mak-5000

Professional Cooking

"Being a chef."

- Canadian_bro7

"I would love to meet the person who thinks being a chef is easy! I cook my own food and it’s not only OK to eat but I make a batch of it so I have some for later. So, to make food that is above good and portion it correctly many times a day and do it consistently with minimal wastage (so they make a profit), strikes me as extremely difficult."

- ChuckDeBongo

Team Leading, Oof

"Anything that involves a lot of people skills and socializing. I thought these positions were just the bulls**t of sitting in meetings all day and not a lot of work happening but having to be the one leading those meetings and doing public speaking is taxing in a way I didn’t realize."

- Counterboudd

Not a Pet Sitter At All

"Veterinary Technician."

"Do the job of an RN, anesthesiology tech, dental hygienist, radiology tech, phlebotomist, lab tech, and CNA, but probably don’t make a living wage and have people undervalue your career because you 'play with puppies and kittens all day.'"

- forthegoddessathena

Harder Than It Looks!

"Sometimes, when my brain is fried from thinking and my ego is shot from not fixing the problem, I want to be a garbage man... not a ton of thinking, just put the trash in the truck, and a lot of them have trucks that do it for you!"

"But if the robot either doesn't work or you don't have one on your truck, it smells really bad, the pay isn't what it used to be, you might find a dead body and certainly find dead animal carcasses... and people are id**ts, overfilling their bags, just to have them fall apart before you get to the truck, not putting their trash out and then blaming you, making you come back out."

"Your body probably is sore every day, and you have to take two baths before you can kiss your wife..."

"Ehh, maybe things are not so bad where I am."

- Joebroni1414

Twiddling Thumbs and Listening

"Therapist here. I’ve always said that it’s pretty easy to be an okay therapist—as in, it’s not that hard to listen to people’s problems and say, 'Oh wow, that’s so hard, poor you.'"

"But to be a good therapist? To know when your client is getting stuck in the same patterns, or to notice what your client isn’t saying? To realize that they’re only ever saying how amazing their spouse is, and to think, 'Hmm, nobody’s marriage is perfect, something’s going on there'?"

"To be able to ask questions like, 'Hey, we’ve been talking a lot about your job, but what’s going on with your family?' And then to be able to call them on their s**t, but with kindness and empathy? Balancing that s**t is hard."

"Anybody can have empathy, but knowing when to use empathy and when and how to challenge someone is so much harder. And that’s only one dimension of what makes being a therapist challenging."

- mylovelanguageiswine

Constant Updates

​"For the most part, my job is really easy (marketing tech). But having to constantly stay on top of new platforms, new tech, updates, etc etc is exhausting and overwhelming and I really hate it."

"Also, the constant responsibility to locate and execute opportunities to optimize things and increase value for higher-ups. Nobody in corporate roles can ever just reach a point of being 'good enough.' More and better is always required."

"Just some of the big reasons I’m considering a career change."

- GlizzyMcGuire_

Performing Is Not Easy

"Performing arts and other types of art. People think it’s a cakewalk or 'not a real job,' not realizing the literal lifetime of training, rejection, and perseverance that it takes to reach a professional level and how insanely competitive those spaces are."

- ThrowRA1r3a5

All About Perception

"I suspect everything fits this. Consider that someone whose job is stacking boxes in a warehouse has to know how to lift boxes, how many can be stacked, know if certain ones must be easily accessible, know how to use any equipment that is used to move boxes around."

"Not to mention if some have hazardous or fragile materials inside, if some HAVE to be stacked on the bottom, if a mistake is made and all the boxes have to be restacked, etc."

"But everyone else is like, 'They're just stacking boxes.'"

- DrHugh

It's easy to make assumptions about someone else's work and responsibilities when we haven't lived with performing those tasks ourselves.

This gave us some things to think about, and it certainly reminded us that nothing good comes of making assumptions, especially when it minimizes someone else's experiences.

Left-handed person holding a Sharpie
Kelly Sikkema/Unsplash

Many of us who are right-handed never even think about how the world is designed to cater to us.

It probably doesn't even cross your mind that 10% of the world's population is left-handed.

Because of this, there tends to be a stigma for being left-handed since society tends to associate the left with negative things.

For example, the phrase "two left feet" applies to those who are clumsy and therefore, incapable of dancing.

Curious to hear more about the challenges facing those with the other dominant hand, Redditor johnnyportillo95 asked:

"What’s something left-handed people have to deal with that right-handed people wouldn’t even think about?"

If only manufacturers appealed to an ambidextrous world.

Furniture Obstacle

"Those desks or couch chairs that have a small desk attached. They do make left handed/sided ones but they are few and far between."

– Prussian__Princess

"And they’re only on one side of the lecture hall, and it’s never a good seat. There is ONE front row, lefty desk in the entire room and it’s in the far corner, obscured by an ancient overhead projector."

– earwighoney

Everyday Objects For Everyday People

"as a left-handed person myself, one thing we often deal with is finding left-handed tools or equipment. many everyday objects, like scissors or can openers, are designed with right-handed people in mind, which can make certain tasks a bit more challenging for us lefties. we also have to adapt to a right-handed world when it comes to writing on whiteboards or using certain computer mice."

– J0rdan_24

Dangerous Tools

"The biggest risk is power tools. I taught myself to use all power tools right handed because of risks using them left handed."

"Trivial, I love dry boards but they are super hard to write on."

– diegojones4

It's hard to play when you're born with a physical disadvantage.

Sports Disadvantage

"Allright, Sports when you are young. Every demonstration from PE teachers are right handed. You cant just copy the movements they teach you you need to flip them and your tiny brain struggoes to process it. As well, 98% of the cheap sports equipment the school uses is right handed."

– AjCheeze

No Future In Softball

"I tried to bat right handed for so long in gym class growing up because the gym teacher never asked me what my dominant side was and the thought never occurred to me as a child to mention it! Needless to say I never became a softball star."

– Leftover-Cheese

Find A Glove That Fits

"In softball and baseball we need a specific glove for our right hand that's often impossible to find unless you own one, and we have to bat on the other side of the plate."

– BowlerSea1569

"I was one of two left-handers in a 4-team Little League in the 1980s. Nobody could pitch to me. I got a lot of "hit by pitch" walks out of it."

– Jef_Wheaton

These examples are understandably annoying.

Shocking Observation

"Having right handed people make comments whenever they see us write, like we’re some kind of alien."

– UsefulIdiot85

"'Woah! You're left-handed????'"

"I find myself noticing when someone is a lefty, and sometimes I comment on it, but I try not to. I'm primarily left-handed (im a right handed wroter but do everything else left), and every single time I go to eat with my family, someone says, "Oh hey, give SilverGladiolus22 the left hand spot, they're left-handed," and inevitably someone says, 'Wait, really?' Lol."

– SilverGladiolus22

Can't Admire The Mug

"We never get to look at the cute graphics on coffee mugs while we’re drinking from them."

– vanetti

"I just realized…I always thought the graphics were made so someone else could read them while you drink. Hmmm."

– Bubbly-Anteater7345

"I'm right-handed and I often wondered why the graphics were turned towards the drinker instead of out for others to see."

– Material-Imagination

The Writing On The Wall

"Writing on whiteboards is a nightmare. I have to float my hand, which tires out my arm quickly, and I can't see what I've already written to keep the line straight."

– darkjedi39

"Also as a teacher, it means I'm standing to the left of where I'm writing, so I'm blocking everything I write. I have to frequently finish writing, then step out of the way so people can see, instead of just being able to stand on the right side the whole time."

– dancingbanana123

Immeasurable

"Rulers."

"How the f'k is no one talking about rulers? It's from 30cm to 0 cm to me, or I have to twist my arms to know the measure I want to trace over it."

– fourangers

Just Can't Win

"EVERYTHING. The world has always been based around people being right handed. As a Chef, my knife skills SUCKED until I worked with a Left Handed Chef. Then it all made sense."

"Literally, everything we do must be observed, then flipped around in our heads, then executed. This is why Lefties die sooner, on average, than Righties."

"I had to learn how to be ambidextrous, just to complete basic tasks (sports, driving a manual, using scissors, etc). I am used to it now, and do many things right handed out of necessity, as wall as parents and teachers 'forcing' it upon me."

"But, at least we are not put to death anymore, simply for using the wrong hand (look it up, it happened)."

"Ole Righty, always keeping us down."

– igenus44

The world doesn't need another demographic to feel "othered" for being different.

But if you're right-handed and tend to make assumptions about left-handed people, you may want to observe the following.

Ronald Yeo, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Texas-Austin told CNN:

"We shouldn’t assume much about people’s personalities or health just because of the hand they write with."
"And we certainly shouldn’t worry about lefties’ chances of success: After all (as of 2015), five of our last seven U.S. presidents have been either left- or mixed-handed."

Word.

Dog lying down on a bed
Photo by Conner Baker on Unsplash

Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.

While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.

Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.

Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.

For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.

Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:

"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"

The Tiny Issue Of Water...

"Absolutely not."

"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649

Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...

"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."

"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."

"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."

"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep

The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...

"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."

"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3

Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen Giphy

What Do You Mean Allow?

"I have no choice."

"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412

"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way

"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show

Hug GIF by The BarkPost Giphy

Who Needs An Alarm Clock?

"I let my two cats sleep with me."

"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."

"And so do I."

"We've all developed a lil routine."

"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_

Whose Bed Is It Anyway?

"Yes."

"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."

"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor

"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."

"Would not come out."

"Got some food and some water in dishes."

"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."

"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."

"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."

"She was too busy eating."

"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."

"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."

"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."

"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."

"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."

"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."

"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."

"She would not go."

"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."

"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588

sleepy kitten GIF Giphy

Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...

"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."

"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."

"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle

Saying No Just Isn't An Option...

"'Let'."

"Lol."

"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren

Felines Only!

"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz

Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official Giphy

Is That My Hair On That Pillow?

"My dog is perfect."

"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."

"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."

"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester

It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.

Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...