People Break Down The Best Ways To Ask A Significant Other For An Open Relationship
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Being in a romantic relationship can be hard work.

You're constantly navigating highs and lows.

There is so much compromise involved it can feel like political warfare.

And one of the main factors that keeps romance alive is the spice up.

You want to try to keep things from getting stale.

So that is when new sexual ideas emerge.

Often this is when secret fantasies come to light.

And a lot of the time... the requests don't go over so well.

Redditor MuchLoveWaffleGirl wanted to hear about how to navigate romantic requests of a partner. So they asked:

"What would you do if your SO asked you to have an open relationship?"

I tried open. Didn't really. Could be because I'm a jealous loon. Maybe.

Uh No.

Super Bowl Ok GIF by Pepsi Giphy

"I was asked. I said no. Things carried on as normal for a few months. Then I found out that the reason she asked was because she was cheating on me. Bye *itch."

swingrider

Not for everyone...

"Related to someone that has been married for like 18 years now with an open marriage. Not for everyone, but they seemed to have found some way to balance it that works for them. I don’t have details on how they made it work, because I don’t really want to know, but it seemed to be from the start more or less."

vercertorix

blindsided...

"My ex brought it up once, we were a bit wine drunk so I thought it was just a one off fun chat. A while later she mentions how we’re still very young and she’s not sure what comes next, getting married and then that’s it? But life rolled on and we moved and lived together etc."

"In January she tells me she wants to break up. At the time I was blindsided, but looking back now it’s so clear what she was hinting at. I don’t have a problem, I get it, I wish her well, but I sure wish I hadn’t been strung along for two years before that point."

Newbarbarian13

Dumped

"I actually said yes, and it killed the relationship very quickly. It was not that much of a stretch for us. We would participate in group scenes but we always came as a pair. There were never any issues, and it even brought us closer together. We were able to flirt as a team and explore our sexualities."

"There was never any jealousy. But when she requested we open it up, she also started ignoring our explicit, agreed-upon terms. More than any physical act, that felt like cheating. And when I spoke up about it, I got dumped."

partywalrusXL

Rocks

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"Mine asked me 7 months ago and I stupidly accepted (I’m monogamous still) and it hurts, even on the best days I think about it. I’ve told him how I felt about it, but he said he loves the other person too much to end it. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years, and it hit like a rock."

"Edit: I’ve discussed with my boyfriend again how awful it feels and what you guys have said and I am happy to say that he is going to break up with the other person. He said it’s going to take sometime but as soon as he can he will! Thank you all so very much for your input and helping me get this sorted:))."

Hungry_Bandicoot8355

Trust in this issue is paramount and it feels like it's always the one thing lacking most.

The Other Person

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"Say its not for me and if they want to go ahead then we have to end things. I was briefly the other person in an open marriage, after a few months it was difficult to know if the husband or myself was more miserable. Might work for some people but not for me."

rabbit_toe

My Person

"I’d say no, but I would want to sit and have several conversations about why they wanted that and how we can retool our relationship if that’s what’s needed. It could ultimately lead to an ending, but he’s my person - I’m not throwing that away when it could be salvaged."

pamplemouss

Happy with Me

"I would ask them why they suddenly want an open relationship after dating me for so long, and be honest with them. I would tell them that open relationships aren't something I'm comfortable with because I like monogamy. If they can't be happy with me in a monogamous relationship, then it would be over."

sunshinerose32

It broke me.

"Well I agreed, but only out of fear of losing her. It broke me. And I lost her anyway to a guy she met in a swinger club and who basically could be her father. Never again. Also everyone I know who did it learned the hard way shi* like this doesn’t work out in like 99 percent of cases."

NervousGarlic1

Issues

Which One Reaction GIF by Audible Giphy

"If that's what they want and nothing else would make them happy, break up. I don't have the mental health fortitude to deal with the anxiety and insecurity I know I would feel for not being enough."

HotCocoaBomb

Don't do it if you're not 100% sure everyone can handle it. Otherwise it's just a mess.

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