The ladies love gay men. The ladies love us. They just do. I have been checked out at the gym so often by women that one day I became so frustrated I had to speak. On this particular day, I was running like a fiend on the treadmill, and this lovely young woman sidled up onto the treadmill next to me. She would not stop eyeing me, flipping her hair and would incessantly try to make small talk; which I regretfully engaged in.
Finally near the end of the run, just as I was about to finish she pushed my shoulder to ask me if I wanted to grab a drink. I was thrown off because I was focused on my finish and because her push was more a shove and I fell to the floor. I wanted to read her for filth but instead just yelled... "leave me alone... I have a man!" She got the memo! As did the gym.
Redditor u/lil_Chickens wanted to hear how the boys out there let down a lady or two by letting them know... we bat for the same team girl. They asked... Gay men of reddit, have you ever pulled the "I have a boyfriend" on a girl? If so what was their reaction?No Tanks Please
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I have had a drunk girl very awkwardly trying to flirt with me. I laughed it off at first until her boyfriend showed up and seemed ready to start a fight. I told him don't worry I am gay, and no he is not my type either, and he just deflated. It's kinda funny really. From then on I save my tank tops for gay bars only.
Whoops...
Backfired so freaking hard. I was with a guy I had gone on like 3 dates with and got along great with but it was still new. He overheard me tell this girl "I'm really sorry but I'm actually here with my boyfriend". He was nearby, overheard "boyfriend", had a little "we're moving too fast" panic attack and bailed.
I thought it'd be something we'd have a laugh about, planned to get together for some food the next day but he ended up flaking.
He was a really self conscious person, think he felt awkward about the whole thing and how he reacted. C'est la vie! He was a good guy, no ill will. Just a bit of a facepalm. I should have just let that girl get handsy.
Gonna be honest, it was just a line I had used before to get some of the creepier older gents in gay bars to stop bothering me, I figured hey, this has never let me down. Mistakes were made.
Just Say No
Years ago this girl approached me at a bar and asked if she could have my number, I was totally thrown for a loop. I told her I was gay and she got super offended and said "if you're not interested, then just say so!" and stormed off. I felt bad.
Damn Genitalia...
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I was shamelessly hitting on this guy until he just straight up told me:
"You know I am gay, right?"
I in fact did not know. We are really good friends now and constantly joke that our genitalia is getting in the way of the romance of a lifetime.
"So what's up with you?"
When I said "I have a boyfriend," they left me alone right away. Nowadays when I say "I have a husband," they get a lot more aggressive. A few recent ones: at the grocery store and a girl small talks me a bit before asking for my number. Told her that I'm married and she brushed it off like she didn't hear me. Started switching it up and complimenting my appearance a lot. Another one is at the gas station where this girl outright got next to me and started touching my arm and just said "So what's up with you?"
Again, she ignored me when I said I had a husband and pressed harder on me
When my husband and I dated, they'd back off right away. Both men and women. I think it's just me being married, and very little to do with him being my husband, that gets the interest higher.
The Non-Perve
Had a very good looking young lady (30's) point out to her very good looking boyfriend (30's) that I (55) was perving on her. He was a bit annoyed and asked 'WTF man'. I said "Hang on i'll ask my husband". The guy giggled and said to his lady 'He's cool he's perving on me'. It was so good to see such cool guy.
At the Library...
Happened a couple times when girls assumed I was hitting on them. At the library once, I asked a girl (who was sitting alone at a table that could sit 10) if I could sit by her. She gave me that irritated look, "I have a boyfriend." I replied "So do I," and I just sat down. That attitude is very widespread among straight women, from my experience - unless I just constantly sound unwittingly flirty.
I have been accused of hitting on girls several times when I never did. Worst so far was a girl at a party who was going around and telling every guest that I was undressing her with my eyes. Thankfully, most of the guests were my friends and knew I'm gay, lol.
But I'm 5'11
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Oooooh do I have one for y'all. So I live in Texas and being gay is still not widely accepted here so it shocks people when I tell them. This has happened to me multiple times. The one that stands out the most is that this woman actually told me I'm too tall to be gay. What does that mean? I'm literally 5' 11"? I am so confused by this.
For Safety
I pulled an 'i have a girlfriend' on a creepy man who I found out later was a serial killer. I'm a gay man, the serial killer was Stephen Port aka the grinder killer. I was a getting a bus close to his apartment when he approached me in the early hours. Saying I had a girlfriend did not immediately deter him however. Terrifying experience.
At D & D
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I've had to do it a few times, usually they apologize and stop, but sometimes they done.
My boyfriend had me pick him up a coffee from dunkin donuts and the lady at the window kept talking about how she couldn't find a boyfriend and then started asking what I'm doing that night. I told her about my boyfriend expecting her to stop, but she didn't so i just drove off.
"No thank you, I'm gay"
I was in Thailand with my ex and I would always get harassed by sex workerrs to buy their services. One night were both on our way back to the hotel and as usual and one approached us. I said "No thank you, I'm gay" to which she responds "I don't believe you" so I kissed him in front of her and she says "You make a cute couple" and walked away.
Actually...
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Not exactly.....
One day I was walking home from a college class, and these two girls were hogging up the entire sidewalk walking side by side.
I slowed down a bit as I walked closer behind them and was waiting for them to either make room or else I was just gonna walk on the grass past them. One girl looked at me and then went back to talking without moving so I just walked on the grass past them and as I get back on the sidewalk in front of them I heard one of them say "I think he was checking us out" and I just stopped and said "actually I like guys" and then kept walking.
I'm a Lesbian
I'm a lesbian, but I have a funny story.
I worked in retail and was very openly gay. One of my coworkers invited me over to hang out at his place with a friend. I was kinda nervous to drink with a couple dudes I didn't know, but he's always been a really nice and everyone had good things to say about him. I ended up taking him up on his offer. Towards the end of the night we were pretty smashed and he tried to make a move on me. I just sat there very confused for a minute. When I hesitated he immediately started backing off saying "hey no worries, figured I'd just shoot my shot."
I told him "I'm flattered, but I'm also super gay." He laughed it off, apologized and we ended up becoming pretty decent friends and partying together regularly. Definitely the nicest drunk dude I've ever known. I've had a lot of really horrible experiences with dudes at parties, so this guy being so genuine and treating me like a living, breathing, human being was so refreshing.
Oh Honey...
Okay, not gay, but have pulled the "I have a boyfriend" card. So the story is, I'm a pretty femme guy. I like fashion, hair, make-up, that sort of thing. I saw a woman in the store who was just having a fantastic hair day, and I mentioned it to her. She said, "Umm, I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate you hitting on me." I said, "Oh honey, if I was hitting on you, my boyfriend would be far more upset." Then she just looked at me while she tried to figure it out, so I helped it along. "Ever had a straight guy compliment your haircut before?" Then she was flattered and felt good and we both went about our days.
FB Issues
In high school, this girl messaged me over facebook asking me to prom and telling me that she loved me. I told her that that's sweet but I'm gay. Turns out she also did this to one of my other gay friends after I turned her down.
Maybe a 7...
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I'm a solid 6 in the USA, but not immediately detectable as gay.
When I lived in Brazil, my blond hair and red beard made me "exotic" and equivalent to an 8 there, and women were CONSTANTLY aggressively hitting on me.
I would tell them I was gay, but they very often didn't believe me and continued their hard-sell approach. It really made me realise what it's like for women when men are just relentless. Sooooo annoying.
Whoops, sorry...
No, because I wouldn't date them if I didn't have a boyfriend. If I'm hit on by a woman, I let them know I'm gay. If I tell them I have a boyfriend, that implies I'd otherwise be interested, and I'm not.
The response I've gotten to "sorry, I'm gay" varies wildly. Most women are shocked and some think I'm joking. Some take it as a challenge and keep hitting on me anyway. I've lost a couple female friends who refused to take no for an answer (seriously ladies, respecting boundaries is a 2way street).
With the Lads
I am not gay, but when I'm at the bar with the lads (back in the long long ago when going to bars was a thing), I use a line similar to this.
I notice women seem to think if they flirt with me, I will buy them a drink. Perhaps because I am ogrish and dress nicely they think I am desperate and rich enough to pay for their drinks? Anyways, a couple of years ago, I had this lady flirting with me for a few minutes followed by "So, are you going to buy me a drink?" I replied with...
"Let me go ask my boyfriend. He carries all our money."
Then I go up to one of my buddies, tell him about the situation, and we look at the poor girl and laugh and laugh and kiss.
but you're hot!
Me and my boyfriend were at a straight club. Some girl kept grinding up on him and told him constantly "you're so hot!" He said he had a boyfriend, (me), and she didn't believe him and kept grinding away on him. He kinda yelled at her and said "STOP IT, He's RIGHT THERE! Now STOP!!" She turns to me, who is across the bar her face just DROPS, and she walks away like a sad puppy. Head down, slow pace away. Since I was with my other friend across the bar I had no idea why she looked so sad after looking at me... I didn't know what she did to my bf at the time just beforehand.
Just a Kiss
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"Sorry, I'm taken" "Really? You don't look like someone who has a girlfriend" "Because I don't have *kisses the guy sitting next to him*".
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For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
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"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
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What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
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Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
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Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
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Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...