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People Explain Why They Finally Had To Say 'We're Done' To A Good Friend

Sometimes one action can give a complete impression of a person, and it can't be unseen afterward.


Friendships crash and burn for the same reason they thrive: the relationship is based on the ability to completely let your guard down.

That transparency is a coin with two very different sides.

One is wonderful for its openness and desire to collaborate. Struggles are shared, advice is trusted, and the ability to be one's true self is cherished.

The other side is the kind of trust with a shadow. Simply put, the relationship is taken for granted. Little work is offered because things became too comfortable somewhere along the line.

In those conditions, an ugly corner of character will rear its head one day. And then it's all over with

Yeetus_the_freakus asked, "What was your 'We're done' moment with a friend?"

A Self-Serving Ethos

"She got mad when I was faithful to my girlfriend and turned her down, so she tried to torpedo my relationship." -- Liamiller

"When he was jealous of my relationship with a girl that he liked and tried to make himself look better by trying to make me look bad." -- Denster1

"Apparently when someone gets into a relationship it makes them THAT much more attractive to someone else or they just don't like seeing their 'Lessers' happy." -- Spiced-Apples

Not a Good Look

"He threw a house party. He then convinced everybody to play drinking games and get extremely drunk. He even convinced the dedicated drivers (one of whom was me) to also get drunk by saying everyone can crash at his place so no one needs to drive home and everyone can get drunk."

"He later threw a tantrum because everyone was drunk and he didn't want his house full of drunk people. He then threw everybody out in the middle of the night and just shut the door. He did this twice within one year."

-- _monicorpse

"But Should Old Acquaintances Be Forgot"

"When she complained that I was ruining her new years' eve after a drunk guy assaulted me and hit me with a bar stool and I wanted to go home." -- ElectronicFerret

"Ah yes, how dare you wish to seek medical attention for possible serious injury. So selfish of you. Like seriously, in what world does this dumb piece of sh*t think that's decent logic? She must have been absolutely tanked but that doesn't make it any less stupid and wrong." -- VTark

How Unaware in Your House?...

"Used my house as a middle point so he could come into town and f*** around on his wife (also a friend of mine). When it all blew up he was unaware I knew what was going on and he fed me a bunch of sh*t that wasn't true in attempts to convince me he was somehow the victim."

"So that was that."

-- Happy8Day

The Priorities Come Out

"My grandmother had just passed away, and I was really upset about it. She told me that people die, 'that's how life works,' then proceeded to complain to me for 15 minutes about how upset she was that her mom stole $20 from her to get some weed." -- VaticanCameos714

"Ah the default idgaf answer." -- BobMarleyTot

A Poor Pupper Catalyzed the Break

"When he decided an out-of-town party was more important than staying home with his dog that was dying." -- notasleannotasmean

"Dogs > People 100 times out of 100." -- w0ke_brrr_4444

Rough Place to Patch Things Up. Rougher Place to Screw Things Up.

"When I found out he f*cked my wife in the Pizza Hut bathroom. This was nearly 30 years ago and I never spoke to him since, until the other day I was at a convenience store and he walked in and tried to make conversation like we were long lost buddies."

"I never gray rocked anyone so hard."

-- weedful_things

A Tough Ask

"She was having an affair with a married coworker at my company and asked if I'd spy on him at work for her."

"I was not about to jeopardize my career to facilitate her banging someone else's husband."

-- coo_coo_mf

Never Looked Back

"He and and another friend complained about a $3 cover charge, insulted the band, insulted the waitress and brought her to tears."

"I stood up, threw enough cash on the table to cover the tab and the cover charge and walked out of the pub."

"Never spoke to them again. That was 16 years ago."

-- shavemejesus

Impatience for Cheap Shots 

"When she made fun of my husband to his face. It was when he and I first started dating and she just straight up said: 'What the f*** is wrong with your nose?' "

"For the record there is nothing wrong with his nose, its just a curved nose like idk, Vincent Cassel's. It was pretty rich coming from her. Regardless I stopped talking to her at all after that, total b***h move."

-- YouJabroni44

One-Sided Effort

"We were friends for 8 years, neighbors for 3. After we both moved we wound up in different countries for a while, still talked weekly. Then I wound up five hours away from her, I would drive to see her at least every three-four months on my way to take my daughter to her dads even though she was an hour out of my way."

"Loaned her money to keep her water on (never saw the money again, also never asked for it cause if I didn't have it to lose I wouldn't have given it in the first place) paid for everything when we went out."

"She gets a new boyfriend and they drive to my city for a vacation. Tells me she's there. She's 2 miles away in a hotel. I invite her over she says no because boyfriend doesn't want to, I offer to meet her for lunch at the mall she says can't because she missed the shuttle and the 10 min 2 block walk to the mall is too far."

"I just finally said screw it told her she was a crappy friend and haven't spoken to her since. It sucks, I miss her but I have better friends that deserve my attention and time."

-- spiffydrew

Regrettable Investments

"It took about 18 months to two years, but I gave a bunch of money to a 'friend' to buy a beater car for my sibling ($700-$800). I didn't push; work and life gets in the way, but after about a month, I asked what was going on. Apparently there'd been two decent cars on the hook, but they fell through, and now I/we needed to wait. I was cool with that."

"The excuses kept coming, and, at around the 12 month mark, I was asked to do some house/puppy sitting for them. I checked the small tin that had been conspicuously on the TV unit for the past year (I wanted a pizza and was a day before pay), full of money for my sib's car. Yup; empty."

"Okay. Righto. I let it lay for a week or so, then told them that hooray, they didn't need to shill for my sib any longer, as their work was going to enter a lease agreement for a vehicle (absolute f***ing lie). So, if they could just drop the cash back off, that'd be the end of that."

"Cue the next six months of whinging and whining, until I decided it just wasn't worth it; and if they'd been willing to lie to my face for over a year, they're not a friend."

-- Nemisis1509

A Slew of Horrible Discoveries

"Damn. I'd say when I realized she was a total sociopath. At first I thought she just had a rough upbringing. But she lied about half the things she accused her parents of.

"Started hitting her boyfriend and blaming it on her multiple personality disorder (something she made up about a year after we became friends). Tried to kick my dog."

"Told me about how she put a hamster in the microwave to watch it blow up. Started to set fires in our neighborhood (never got out of control luckily). And started spreading rumors about me."

-- alaskalovepup11

The Last Straw

"Anytime we'd hang out, she would do/say some stupid shit that would make me look at her sideways. Then, one day she said something to me so rude, under the guise of being funny and then I snapped on her. That was the last interaction between us years ago."

"Everyone kept pleading for me to reach out and mend things, but I didn't do anything wrong, so."

-- khaila_

Financially Motivated

"Tried for years to keep the friendship going with zero effort from her. Finally had some progress when she got pregnant but quickly realized she only wanted gifts from me."

"I didn't try at all after that, she sent me a happy birthday message along with an invitation to some MLM party she was having, blocked her."

-- unkind-raven

An Ethical Impasse

"She decided to kill her current horse instead of trying to sell him or give him away. She thought he was dangerous, when really she was just a wuss and he didn't want to jump. She had a new horse coming and needed the stall."

"Done. I can't be friends with a person who treats animals as disposable. Especially horses, a herd animal that trusts is enough to let us strap a saddle onto them and ride them around. Don't be a sh** human."

-- Holybull79

A Hasty Approach to Posting

"My friend posted on Facebook about us going to the pride parade together. I asked him to remove my name or take down the post because I wasn't out to many people yet and we have a lot of the same friends. He flat out refused. What a d***!"

-- vizzie1

Just a Bad House Guest

"I gave him a ride to brunch. He proceeded to get so drunk that he got all of us kicked out for making repeated lewd sexual comments at the waitress after being warned about it, then he threw up all over the side of my car and said he's pay for washing it, but couldn't come up with 10 bucks when we got to a car wash."

-- ElToberino

Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "🤐" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.

Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

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Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

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Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?