A lot of questions come to mind as soon you discover you're pregnant. Things like, "Is the baby growing healthily?" or "What do I need to do make sure I take care of myself?" come to mind quickly. But what about the unanswered questions? The ones you might never think of? For example: Do doctors microchip babies?
Reddit user oasqss wanted to hear the truth when they asked:
Midwives/gynecologists of Reddit, what's the weirdest thing you heard from a pregnant woman or her family that made you think they had no prior sexual/medical education?
She'll Just Grow A Cherry Baby
"I had a girl call the office because she swallowed a cherry seed and was worried that the baby was going to choke on it."
It Seemed To Have Slipped My Mind
Giphy
"I used to work at a family planning clinic. Had a 19 year old come in and she was pregnant. She was shocked because she had the Nexplanon (implant in your arm to prevent pregnancy) Doctor didn't feel the Nexplanon in her arm. Patient says "Oh I got it removed last year."
"... then you aren't protected from pregnancy. Just a total lack of understanding about how it worked."
Different Holes. Different. Holes.
"The amount of times I've had to explain to a patient and/or the father of her baby that the baby in fact does not come out of the "pee hole" is concerning."
"Another time, a woman called the L&D unit and told me she knew she was ovulating because the app on her phone told her she was and she had just had sex with her husband. "Am I pregnant"? were literally the next three words out of her mouth."
How Else Would They Find Out?
"Midwife here- at least once a month I will being looking after a woman who is shocked to find out that a vaginal examination is the way to check cervical dilatation."
Science. A Basic Science Class.
"Kinda late to the party. I had a woman call the office to make an appointment, and when I asked her what the appointment was for, she said that she needed a Fallopian tube. I was said, "...do you mean you want to get your tubes tied???"
"She says, "No, I'm trying to get pregnant."
Pipes Aren't Linked Up The Way You Think
"Wife is a midwife - patient called and reported that she was vomiting for the past few hours. Was very concerned that she could possibly be vomiting up amniotic fluid."
"Turns out the digestive tract is in no way connected to the uterus."
Just Think About It. For, Like, More Than Four Seconds.
"I do ultrasound. When I was a student, I did a rotation at a small OB/GYN clinic. One day, a woman and her husband came in for a pelvic ultrasound. They had come to see the doctor because they were having trouble conceiving. They said they had been having sex regularly for almost a year, and had not gotten pregnant. My instructor asked the patient if she was on medications (standard question)."
"Only my birth control pills."
"In a year of trying to get pregnant, neither she nor the husband had thought maybe she should stop taking her birth control."
Instruction Up For Interpretation
"We get a lot of obese women with comorbidities who don't understand the difference between dont get pregnant and you cant get pregnant."
"We had a mom recently deliver a 26 wk baby because Mom's cardiomyopathy and hypertension were out of control. Her cardiologist visited her in the NICU and asked her why she didn't listen to his advice to avoid pregnancy."
"Turns out when the cardiologist said "don't get pregnant because your body can't handle it" she heard "she physically can't get pregnant because her body couldn't handle it."
"The cardiologist told us this is the second time this misunderstanding has occurred and he now requires his patients to sign some form acknowledging that heart failure is not a form of birth control, rather you should be actively seeking ways to prevent birth to protect your own life."
Well, Technically, There's Already Technology That Can Do That. But, Still...
"I work at a microbiological lab and we took routine swabs from a pregnant woman to rule out STDs or other infections that could harm the baby during birth. We used a speculum to be able to see and take samples from the cervix. The patient asked whether we could - since we were already at it - take a picture of the baby with her cell phone."
"Through the vagina."
"She thought you could see the baby if you looked into the vagina."
There's A Little Bit More Protecting The Baby
"A heavily pregnant woman put her finger in her belly button and pulled out something gross. She immiediatly freaked out, making her husband freak out as well. She called my friend, who is a doctor specializing in ob/gyn, and almost cried on the phone:"
"Preggo: "Help!! I just pulled something out of my belly button!!"
"My friend, MD: "... yeah??"
"Preggo: "So... have I removed a plug or something? Have I hurt the baby??"
"My friend, MD: "But you just pulled something gross from your own belly button.. right?"
"Preggo: "Yeah but.. isn't my belly botton connected to the babys belly button? Isn't that how she gets all of her nutrients and stuff?"
"And then they had a looong talk about the uterus, placenta and where our belly buttons originate from."
"Mind you, this isn't about the preggo not being educated, she is a lawyer. But she caught pregnancy brain. And had a laugh about it afterwards :)"
No, No, That Science Checks Out
"I work in Public Health and Family Practice. We get our own special ones."
"Most recently the lady with chlamydia that stated she did not use birth control because "you cannot get pregnant if you have an STD".
"Right."
"Yes she knew she had the STD and yes she was sexually active."
This Isn't Thanksgiving
"Not a midwife but did have an acquaintance who got pregnant while her husband was in the army deployed. She had convinced her husband that they needed to try and get pregnant. So how do they resolve the issue of long distance and time? They concocted the plan of using a turkey baster, where the husband actually mailed a package of his little soldiers to her and she used the baster on her self to impregnate herself. No doctors were consulted during this time."
"And this story all came to light in divorce court when someone actually convinced the husband the baby was not his."
No, No, That Math Doesn't Check Out
"Not a midwife but I had an acquaintance try saying that she was only pregnant for 6 months but that her baby came out full-term, like her child was fine and needed zero medical attention due to being so premature."
"I don't think she was actively lying, but she was not a bright person. She might have found out she was pregnant at 3 months and just assumed that she was just newly pregnant by the time she found out."
"Or maybe she felt bad for drinking/partying early in the pregnancy so she refused to acknowledge it until it was convenient."
A Family Tradition?
"We had a woman come to triage one day, in no visible distress, but certain that she was in labor. She denied feeling any loss of fluid, contractions, or pain. When questioned further, she explained that she was already "dilated 4". She was accompanied by her granny, who explained that SHE had checked her granddaughter at home and she was able to fit four fingers inside the vagina, so she knew it was time."
"Not in the cervix, in the vagina. 😐"
Tag 'Em Like An Animal
Giphy
"Two of my favorites:"
"What day of the week do I need to have sex to have a boy?"
"Do you microchip babies after birth?"
That's...That's...That's Not How That Works
"I've told this story before, but it bears repeating..."
"I worked as a telephone triage nurse and received a call from a very concerned young lady. She said that she was pregnant and had gone to an appointment with her OB-GYN that day and had some questions. This was relatively common; patients can sometimes feel rushed in the doctor's office or forget the questions they were going to ask, so they call and ask us later."
"Me: Ok, no problem! How can I help?"
"Pregnant lady: Well, the doctor told me I can't have any more sex until after the baby is born!"
"Me: (Looking at her record in the computer) Ok. I see you're pretty far along and were having some pre-term contractions, which can be caused by sex. So the doctor recommends no sex so that the baby doesn't come too early."
"Pregnant lady: BUT HOW WILL I FEED THE BABY?!?"
"Me: Ummmm....what?"
"Turns out, her male partner convinced her that babies needed to eat semen to develop, and this could only be done with PIV sex. I told her this was totally wrong and gave her a quick lesson about the umbilical cord. She was skeptical until I pointed out that single women and lesbians have perfectly healthy babies without constant sex. "Oh, ok! That makes sense!" she said. Then she thanked me and started to hang up the phone- I could hear her calling her partner's name as she hung up. Would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation!"
You Hear It Once, You Hear It A Thousand Times
"It goes like this:"
"Me: Your pregnancy test came back positive."
"PT: Oh, I couldn't be!"
"Me: Are you sexually active?"
"PT: Yes"
"Me: Are you using any birth control?"
"Pt: No"
"Me: Then why don't you think you could be pregnant?"
"Pt: Because I couldn't be!"
"Me: ..."
"Repeat scene many times over past 20 years. Denial is not a river in Egypt."
Sometimes you don't know what you don't know and there are no stupid questions!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
- People Explain Which Crazy Things Their Partner Did They Didn't Realize Were Weird Until Afterwards - George Takei ›
- People Describe The Weirdest Thing Their Damaged Computer Has Ever Done - George Takei ›
- Health Professionals Divulge The Scariest Things They Heard From A Dying Patient - George Takei ›
- Psychiatrists Share The Symptoms That Told Them A Patient Wasn't Doing Well - George Takei ›
- Medical Professionals Describe The Stupidest Misconception A Patient Has Ever Had About The Human Body - George Takei ›
- Doctors Share Their Craziest 'How The F*** Are You Even Alive' Patient Experiences - George Takei ›
- People Confess The Details Of Their Most Embarrassing Trip To The Doctor - George Takei ›
- People Share The Craziest Things A Child Has Ever Asked Them - George Takei ›
- Doctors Describe The Weirdest Thing They've Ever Seen At Work - George Takei ›
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
Giphy
Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
Giphy
See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
Giphy
Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
Giphy
Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
Giphy
The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.